Jake Gyllenhaal wanted to see if he & Taylor Swift could recapture their magic

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Last week, People Magazine had the “breaking news” (from Jake Gyllenhaal’s publicist) that Jake had flown to Nashville to do a post-breakup dinner date with Taylor Swift. By most accounts, this has been the timeline of the last three months:

*Jake gets his management to “set him up” with Taylor Swift in early November (-ish).
*A whirlwind courtship involving apple-picking and cuddle-fests and lots of coffee.
*Gushy interviews, told from Swift’s perspective, about how Jake and Taylor were the real thing, forever and ever and PONIES!!!
*Roughly two months into the relationship, Jake dumps Taylor. Over the phone.
*Jake spends three weeks butching it up, trying to talk to any available vagina.
*Jake realizes that the whole Swift thing has been an unmitigated disaster, tries to do some damage control by flying to Nashville so he can look like the “good guy”.

So what is left to say? Lots, apparently. I have to admit… I love this crap. The Jwifty shomance was and is AMAZING to me, just for the sheer absurdity of it and how many people buy it. This Us Weekly story comes from Taylor Swift, by the way. I’m not even going to put an “allegedly” in there. Swifty talked to someone at Us Weekly, and told them exactly what went down during her dinner with Jake. What’s even better – Swift talks to Us Weekly like she would talk to a girlfriend, and explores theories about why Jake said this or that. It’s funny as hell.

Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift wandered into the Nashville restaurant Bound’ry near closing time on January 19, but they still wanted a secluded table in the back for dinner.

“They sat by the fireplace,” says an eyewitness. “They were both smiling.”

But: “Taylor was nervous the whole time,” reveals a source close to Swift. Jake had shown up unannounced begging for “closure.” But Jake’s appearance three weeks after he dumped her over the phone only opened wounds.

“Taylor was just getting over Jake… she was thrown,” says the insider. Another one adds: “Jake went to Nashville to see if there was anything still between them, if they could recapture the magic. Sadly, it wasn’t there.”

Swift initially panicked at his arrival. “He wanted to take her to dinner, but she said she had to rehearse,” says a source. Gyllenhaal “said he didn’t think they ended things right, and he owed it to her to talk face to face… he said he just wasn’t feeling things anymore. He didn’t like where things were headed.”

Jake also asked Swift if she had leaked to the media that he dumped her with a phone call, and the source says Swift assured him she hadn’t. “He took her word for it, and Taylor told him she was fine letting it go.”

The rapprochement came when Swift and Gyllenhaal discussed his post-split flirtations, with Scarlett Johansson, Camilla Belle and Mila Kunis. At the dinner with Swift, Jake “explained he is not a dog,” says the source, who theorizes a more selfish motive. “He wanted everyone to see him apologizing so he looks like a good guy.”

Gyllenhaal also told Swift that she was a “sweet girl” and “really special to him.” An insider says: “He cares for her deeply, but it’s over now.”

Swift told him “they were cool, but the whole thing was really weird to her.”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

There are so many gems, but my favorite is “Jake also asked Swift if she had leaked to the media that he dumped her with a phone call, and the source says Swift assured him she hadn’t.” So, Swifty called up Us Weekly, like, a day after Jake dumped her over the phone, and now she’s playing coy about it to Jake, AND to Us Weekly. Amazing. And then Swifty calls up Us Weekly and People Magazine the minute Jake got into town, and then she leaked everything about their meeting. I’m just going to say it – Swifty needs some girlfriends. I know her image is that of a girl’s girl and all, but I think she needs to hang out with someone new, someone she can trust, someone she can just dump all of this crap on. Because I’m not sure if telling EVERYTHING about your bidness to Us Weekly is the best strategy.

Another gem: “He said he just wasn’t feeling things anymore. He didn’t like where things were headed.” = He was really tired of Swifty trying to force her vagina on him. I’m just sayin’.

Oh, and In Touch Weekly (via Jezebel) has a totally different take on this situation – according to their sources (??), Jake pre-arranged the meeting in Nashville, and when his flight was delayed, he rented a car so that he could get there in time. He needed to beg Taylor’s forgiveness, and then he spent two nights at Taylor’s apartment. Boning her, presumably. Yeah… who buys that?

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Photos courtesy of Fame.

 

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37 Responses to “Jake Gyllenhaal wanted to see if he & Taylor Swift could recapture their magic”

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  1. brin says:

    If he wants to “recapture the magic” with Swifty, he will have to don an armor knightsuit, ride a pink horse through the streets of Nashville, and beg Taylor for her hand in marriage.

  2. Rita says:

    Funny, funny stuff Kaiser.

    “Jake had shown up unannounced begging for “closure.”

    Taylor: “WTF are you doing in my Nashville coffee shop you “vadge stalking fraidy cat”?

    “And oh, by the way. What makes you think I called the tabs to explain a private conversation I had over the phone. Lots of people must have known about that”.

    “Oh yeah, and I don’t believe you drove to Nashville from LA because your plane was late. I have personal knowledge that there are a lot of planes in LA.”

  3. Neka says:

    Who cares about these two it would Neva work

  4. gabs says:

    Why do you keep assuming he is gay and all his relationships are fake? Is their any evidence? Jeez its getting annoying now the way you write about him. I think he is straight. A straight douchebag! I think they did really date and he dumped her out of nowhere, she wasn’t expecting it and of course she is leaking to the media to make him look bad. I mean, he approached her and invited her to thanksgiving with his family and she probably thought it was serious so jake is an idiot. Don’t introduce Taylor Swift to your family you fool! She’ll expect a ring on it!

  5. Marjalane says:

    I’m sorry but just the image of a 30 year old (even though gay) man trying to have a “serious relationship conversation” in Taylor Swifts Hello Kitty apartment makes me giggle. He needs to fire his PR people.

  6. Happymom says:

    I think he’s straight, and a player. I think he thought she was cute, but once they started dating realized how YOUNG she is, and then backed out of it like a total douche. However, because he does have a conscience, tried to make amends by coming to her turf and trying to “re-end” it more smoothly and kindly. If she was older and/or more sure of herself she would have told him to fuck himself and not bother to come to Nashville.

  7. Mimi says:

    Gabs,

    Jake Gyllenhaal is gay. He faked relationship with Reese Witherspoon and now with Taylor Swift.

    Don’t blame others because you are silly enough not to see obvious PR and made up tabloid BS.

  8. Quest says:

    Bad, bad Swifty: I was too hurt and taken aback to speak to any media about the split
    Jaky-poo: My love runs as deep as our warm cups of swirly lattes
    Swifty: Oh Jake, this would never work, I already pened the first single of my next album to you. Soon the whole world with know
    Jake: I’m sorry by dong wasn’t pink enough or frilly enough for you. It just wasn’t working out
    Swifty: OMG, I am crushed that those little pink bows on my vadge didn’t turn you on enough.

    I could go on and on… meh.

  9. Mimi says:

    P.S. I bet you believe that Taylor Swift really dated Taylor Lautner, too! LMAO

  10. erin says:

    My question about the whole situation, why did Jake stay in Nashville for so long. They had dinenr on Wednesday and he was spotted by himself wondering around Nashville on Friday. Taylor had left for Mexico on Friday. Hmmmm. I think they are just friends now. It would be awesome if they were. I loved this couple and I am completely bumed that they are not together. I don’t usually get into celeb couples but this one I just loved.

  11. Jayna says:

    Made up by tabloids he was seeing if he could recapture the spark. I believe he went there to do damage control after the bad press on the way he ended it. Sometimes you don’t want to see how badly you did something or hurt someone but in the press you can’t hide from it. We’ve all dated someone for a few months and lost interest but he was crazy about me. And, truth be told, when it happened to me, I wanted to do it over the phone, too. I know. That’s mean but I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t. He lived down the street. I had to do it in person. But if it was long distance, I would have taken advantage of it and called.

  12. Angel says:

    I know Jake went to Nashville to make himself look good but at least he did it. Not many dudes would fly to Nashville for a post breakup meal. I hope they are on good terms. They really did look cute together. I agree on Taylor making some new friends. Everything she does gets told to a tabloid. She should just learn to keep some things to herself.

  13. Gwen says:

    This makes him look sooo pathetic..

  14. Hollowdoll says:

    I hope Jake learns his lesson from this. No more PR fauxmances! The whole thing was very disappointing, I used to think Jake was better than this. Hopefully he will be again someday.

  15. Brit says:

    Is Taylor Swift crazy!! If Jake Gyllenhaal hopped on a plane to come and see me and recapture the magic I would chain myself to him and never let him go.

  16. fwozbo says:

    He is becoming less patient with these fake heterosexual relationships and ended it very poorly for public image. He is doing damage control. He really blew it, oh wait that’s for him and a man.

  17. sharylmj says:

    Yeah, I agree he was getting so much bad press that he had to go and see her, plus maybe he felt bad about how he ended things. She is WAY TOO immature for him. They would never work out. I imagine she is very high maintenance after the “new” wears off.

  18. Oi says:

    Oi vey. Fire your publicist. This was lame. But, it was great for a few laughs while it was happening.

  19. guesty says:

    I think it’s weird that Taylor beard’s for so many guys…wth.

  20. anti says:

    whether the relationship is real or not, this really makes her look bad.

  21. Hakura says:

    Yep, I’m with the general consensus. Jake was trying to do damage control, having experienced the back-lash of appearing to be a cowardly douchelord dumping someone over the phone.

  22. jover says:

    Taylor swift isn’t even a real human being anymore; just a caricature of her pr/management team – she’s every bit as plastic as Katy P and Rihanna but the sparkly pink stuff still deceives some of her most rabid fans.

  23. Abby says:

    Their entire “relationship” was PR. I’m not usually such a skeptic but COME ON. Not one bit of it has made any sense. Especially this. He broke up with her, why would he want to “rekindle the romance?” That’s not the same thing as smoothing things over–the story is contradicting itself. I don’t think he’s actually gay, but this whole thing doesn’t make any sense. She’s not handling her image well these days. Very unlike her.

    side note, can’t wait to hear the song she writes about this.

  24. Casey says:

    As much as I love Taylor, I really do think she needs to stop telling her friends about her life. Her so called friends run to the tabloids for every detail about her life.

  25. Str8Shooter says:

    Zzzzzzzzzz….(must pick head up off of desk)

  26. Str8Shooter says:

    $50 says his PR geniuses are behind this whole ‘reconciliation’ crap. His movie career is on the skids (two films in one year that TANKED at the box office).

    Reeks of desperation.

  27. Claire says:

    I really think Taylor was played by Jake. She’s young and falls in love with any dude that bats and eyelash at her and I think Jake knew that. He had a movie to promote and she was his opportunity to gaining some attention. He then drops her when his promotional tour ended. I really do not think Taylor was in on this because she had one of the most anticipated albums of the year coming out and the girls sells out arenas in the matter of minutes. She does not need Jake to boost her fame. I am glad that Jake apologized to her in person though. I have a little bit more respect for him now.

  28. Hakura says:

    Some people try to suggest that Taylor is just as ‘in on it’ as anyone else she ends up dating, but I’m really not so sure. She really comes off so immature that I could probably buy that she thinks she in love with every boyfriend after being on 2 dates.

    I honestly think in this case, Jake totally used her for PR, and she may not have realized that until after being dumped over the phone.

  29. flutters says:

    @Claire: At first I couldn’t figure out why Taylor would agree to the fauxmance either. But the Us Weekly cover story on their “relationship” spelled out what was in it for Taylor. According to Swifty’s people, this relationship with Jake was “more mature and adult” than her previous relationships so this was obviously about transitioning Taylor from the pretty pony princess teenager image into the more worldly, sophisticated woman image. It was supposed to be a long term plan and it was also supposed to help Taylor transition into film roles to make her an even bigger star.

    It obviously didn’t work out because Jake and his PR team pulled the plug when they realized what an unmitigated disaster the whole thing was.

    I might be more willing to buy Taylor being an innocent victim if she hadn’t signed up for the photo ops with Jake and if she hadn’t already done the fauxmance thing with Taylor Lautner.

    For the record though I DO think Taylor was genuinely into Joe Jonas because she’s still writing heartbroken songs about him. She was into John Mayer too. So the real relationships she’s had were with the douchiest of the guys she’s been linked to. Ugh.

    P.S. I don’t think calling out the Jaylor as a fauxmance is necessarily the same thing as saying Jake is gay. It isn’t for me anyway.

  30. Lane says:

    One thing is for sure, fake or real, Taylor made Jake more famous. I would have never paid any attention to him if it wasn’t for Taylor. I have always thought Jake was a good looking actor but I have never once been interested in his movies. It is also good that he apologized to Taylor and I really do hope they are friends now. Taylor has a very large audience base that she can help promote any future movies of his. She is pretty good at helping her famous friends work when she can.

  31. jinni says:

    They couldn’t “recaputure the magic” even if their reunion took place in Hogwarts.

    I don’t know or care if Jake is gay, straight, or something inbetween, but both of their teams went about selling this fauxmance the wrong way.

    Between the posed pap pics, the overly detailed descriptions of their dates, and how other celebrities were dragged into the story by these “sources”(ex: G. Paltrow, etc.)as the supposed matchmakers; it all just came off as being too much and heavy handed.

    They came off as a parody of a celebrity romance.

  32. Bubulle says:

    I really used to like him. But now he’s jumping from a fauxmance to another to further his career. He has become desperate.

  33. Hakura says:

    Taylor gets on my nerves. Her songs sound exactly the same, & she’s showed up at a red carpet event dressed for the ice capades. But even I have to admit she’s had a rough time dating.

    You have to give her sympathy for having been involved with John Mayer. I wouldn’t if it was anyone else (God knows everyone with half a brain can see what a douchelord he is), but she has the mental/emotional maturity of a 15 year old, & he’s so damned predatory.

    I just think Jake knew what he was in it for, & she didn’t. He probably noticed this about halfway in, & realized he was in quicksand up to his shoulders & sinking fast. It required an emergency evacuation.

    BUT. I still wonder if he waited to break up with her until after the holidays intentionally… so he could take her to meet his niece. -_- For some reason, I could believe he’d do that.

  34. LuckyLilGem says:

    I actually liked the idea of Jwifty. Oh well… good luck to both of them in their next fauxmance.

  35. truthzbetta says:

    Agreed. Total PR lies. The one relationship picture was such bad, staged acting straight from that rom-tragedy of all times “Love Story” – - the early happy scenes. He was happy to see paps? And “In Love!”

    Sorry, but these painfully obvious stunts make his authenticity in total doubt.

    Tom Hanks has no fake PR relationships, Ryan Seacrest does (outed by Terry Hatcher for him cornering her into a weird kiss after calling paps to their secluded location).

    I think I can leave it there as to the implied beardiness of the whole thing. You don’t stage relationships and potential reconciliations without some’n you want to hide.