Lance Armstrong says he never gets any complaints from women

Lance Armstrong just gave an interview for the cover of Men’s Journal about his lady loves, and he comes off as quite the player. Which he doesn’t seem to have any problems with. Armstrong says he’s a young, single guy and as long as he’s open and honest with whoever he’s dating, he’s being fair to them. Which all sounds well and good, until you think about his long string of romances. He also admits he’s not rattling any headboards but says he does alright.

Though the story isn’t on the magazine’s website yet, the Huffington Post transcribed some of the interview. Here are a few of the highlights.

These days he’s unapologetic about his reputation in the tabloids as a pussy hound, linked to designer and socialite Tory Burch, Ashley Olsen (whom he denies dating), and, until recently, Kate Hudson. “I’m a 36-year-old single guy who is completely open and honest with every woman in my life,” says Armstrong. “As long as you’re honest, and no one’s getting played or let down, then you’re being fair.”

Armstrong doesn’t go on a lot of real dates. “I think it’s hard for me, or for anyone in my position, to call someone up and say, ‘Hey, can I take you on a date?’” he says. “It’s never like that. I meet people casually, while hanging out with friends, so there’s less pressure.” Sex is something he enjoys, because he didn’t get much of it on the Tour. “I had sex if I had the energy. I wasn’t one of those guys who believed in the myths about the guy losing his chi,” says Armstrong. “But the fact is that if you are riding your bike five, six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You’re just not. You have fatigue, low testosterone, and a lower libido.” He grins. “But you know, I never got any complaints.”

It is hard to miss that most of these women are somewhat similar: down-to-earth blond lasses with Cheshire cat grins and small waistlines. Does he have a type? “Everyone says that!” says Armstrong, moodily. “Everyone says I have a type! Of course I have a type. But doesn’t everyone have a type? So shut up!” Um, isn’t that type a little like your mom? “Now, hold on a minute there, ” he says, laughing. “That’s just gross.”

[From the Huffington Post]

Armstrong also shows the reporter an infinity bathtub he has at his Texas mansion. It has some fancy/expensive art hanging above it, and he noted, “Girls love that tub,” he says, “They’re always splashing around in it, and I’ve gotta be like, ‘Hey, quit splashing the art!”

The reporter points out that there’s no way to tell if Armstrong is talking about his daughters or random chicks he brings back to his pad. Considering he’s knows a lot more for being a babe magnet than a dad, I’m doing with the later. He’s like the John Mayer of the cycling world. Okay I take that back. That’s the meanest thing I’ve said all day, I’m sorry.

Here’s Lance, Kate Hudson, and their kids playing tennis when they were still together in July. Images thanks to Fame.

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41 Responses to “Lance Armstrong says he never gets any complaints from women”

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  1. anony says:

    if he meant his kids he would have said ‘the girls’ most likely.

    He has one nut and he’s like the town bicycle- everyones had a ride. He just embodies the word douche so perfectly (and I eschew that word). He’s like a caricature of himself at this point. ho!

  2. princess says:

    Jaybird- you may have been mean but you were also on the money. Great comparison.

  3. Diva says:

    What does him having one testicle have to do with ANYTHING???

  4. RAN says:

    Well said anony – this whole article made me want to puke. What IS IT about this guy that people find attractive?

  5. DLR in Canada says:

    For a guy with only one testicle, Armstrong sure is ballsy. :P

    P.S. Do a Google search and you’ll see what a guy looks like with one testicle. Kinda gross, imo, but workable.

  6. wow says:

    How honest was he with Sheryl Crowe? Didn’t he ask her to marry him? Douche. And girls are attracted to you mainly because of your $$$$$ Lance. Sorry to break it you. You’re going to die a lonely old man. Oh that was too mean.

  7. Syko says:

    Oh god, I don’t even want to see a guy with one testicle!

    I think he’s sort of nauseating. I will never understand what anyone sees in him. And I hate the big egos.

    Edit: I had to look. Could not find a picture, but was interested to learn that this condition is shared by Hitler, Napoleon and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

  8. Feebee says:

    “had no complaints”… well not to his face obviously. what a tool. I hope his girls don’t grow up and fall for a guy like their father (not saying he’s not a good father to them).

  9. Vivienne says:

    I believe he actually said “No compliments” from women.

  10. cara says:

    I can’t stand him.

    I love your quote, that “he’s like the John Mayer of the cycling world” – so funny

  11. SeVen says:

    TBH guys with one ball arent as “pleasing” to the eye but sexually they arent lacking.

  12. Diva says:

    Are balls really the “pleasing” part of the area??? lol

    I always looked at them as function over fashion. :P

  13. Christina X says:

    Yet another arrogant celebrity who won’t shut up about how great they are in bed.

  14. DLR in Canada says:

    Actually a guy with one testicle doesn’t look any different than a guy with two testicles until you get up really close to the hanging sac. Instead of two balls there’ll be one and the other side will be kinda loose and droopy. The reason I said kinda gross is because I saw the pictures in medical journals that one can only access via their college library, and granted they were post-orchiectomy. Even so, it does look kinda weird, and it is like women with one larger breast than the other or flappy vulvas. Ya just get used to stuff like that as it doesn’t take away from sexual pleasure. I mean Sheryl and Kate certainly didn’t mind, eh? 8)

  15. A.C> says:

    I disagree with his comment that everyone has a type. I’ve never had a type persay. Is that unusual? They don’t always look similar, have the same hair color or even personality. :o

  16. Syko says:

    @A.C> – I’m with you on that, and just hearing someone say they have a “type” is annoying because it’s so superficial. Finding a particular look attractive is one thing, but ruling out any other look is putting too much emphasis on the physical.

  17. geronimo says:

    “I always looked at them as function over fashion.”

    Quite, diva! He really thinks a lot of himself, doesn’t he? I mean, he barely qualifies as attractive looking, and he’s clearly not beautiful inside, so what’s the deal?

  18. Jess says:

    Think whatever you will about his ego/personality, but the “one ball” comments are disgusting and immature.

    Hopefully, none of you will ever have to experience that, or losing one or both breasts to cancer, too.

  19. Syko says:

    Well, Jess, disgusting and immature is what we all do here. Actually I don’t think anyone was offensive about the one testicle. But if you were offended, I apologize.

  20. daisy424 says:

    Syko I agree about the ‘type’.
    But being on the prowl like he is, I think his ‘type’ is anyone with a pair of breasts and a pussy.
    He not my ‘type’.

  21. Jess says:

    It is offensive when people use the results of a disease to personally attack someone or make a sick joke at their expense.

    Is Christina Applegate less of a woman now that she has had both breasts removed to cancer? No, of course not. Same applies here.

    Keep the ego/personality flaws separate from a physical characteristic that he can’t even help. The man is lucky to be alive, for God sakes.

  22. xiaoecho says:

    John Mayer of the cycling world? ….does that make Mayer the Lance Armstrong of the music world? 8O

    Jess….are you saying you come to Celebitchy to be polite and mature? Have you got a broom stuck up your bum or something?

    ….also, some of the funniest comments of any thread for ages

  23. Alison says:

    He bugs – always has. BIG ego is right. And he is NOT handsome….what’s with the perpetual red nose?

  24. vdantev says:

    The dead tell no tales, eh Lance ?

  25. austin says:

    And it was reported in the Austin American-Statesman (the city’s daily newspaper) that his property used almost 225,000 gallons of water just in the month of June…and he was there for only a few days early in the month. His household is the biggest residential consumer of water in all of Travis County. Environmentalist, he isn’t. Here is the story

  26. Cinderella says:

    I don’t think people are picking on Lance because he has one ball….it’s because he’s an ass with one ball.

  27. Diva says:

    Yeah, I gotta say I’m with Jess on this one.

    If he’s a douche, fine, he’s a douche, we can (mostly) all get on board with that. But, while not personally offended, I have no balls except the steel ones I have to break out now and then, I think the disgust at a guy that has lost a testicle is just as unsettling as disgust at a woman who has lost a breast would be.

  28. mrs favre says:

    Let’s just call Lance a “unicycler” and then we can leave the word “ball” out of it. Now everyone is happy

  29. lisaural says:

    I think it’s hilarious that he talked about how much the “ladies” like his pool because according to the Austin Statesman, Armstong used the most water of any single person in all of Austin – and he wasn’t even in the city the month that he topped the list!!

    Got to keep those “ladies” wet somehow…

  30. PepperA says:

    It seems I recall that when Lance got sick they had to remove BOTH testicles; that’s why he had to bank his man juice in order to have kids later.

  31. Magic Peachz says:

    I just don’t get these man-sluts. He’s being honest? Ok. He’s also a superficial, pussy hound. I don’t really get how this raises his “hot” factor but for some reason that’s the way the world works.

  32. umm... says:

    Pepper A, only one testicle was removed when Lance Armstrong had cancer. However, he deposited in a sperm bank because the chemotherapy is what destroyed his fertility.

  33. Courtney says:

    There is absolutely nothing hot about him, zero. His cockiness just adds to his lack of appeal.

  34. miss lisa says:

    He’s 36??? He looks 50.
    I have never gotten why peeps are so into this guy. He rides a bicycle for God’s sake! He’s not an engineer or a scientist or a doctor; he hasn’t done anything to benefit humanity. He just rides his little bike. I want to pat him on the head and say “You’re such a big boy now, riding your two-wheeler!”

  35. Christina X says:

    All I really mind is the word “hero” being used to describe people like Armstrong, Phelps, etc.

    No. They’re athletes, not heroes.

  36. Al says:

    Syko — so funny isn’t it that he shares the condition with other megalomaniac world conquerers — is he determined to screw/screw over every blonde celebrity in Hollywood as his version of this conquest? It’s obvioius that his actions, and those of his predecessors, stem from a deep and preoccupying insecurity about his manhood. After he recovered, isn’t that when he left his wife and kids for Sheryl Crow? It’s like he had to prove to the world that he “still had it” — as if winning the Tour after a humiliating and public battle with cancer wasn’t enough. “Thanks for seeing me through testicular cancer, but I just don’t find YOU attractive anymore.”

  37. Jeanne says:

    What about men? Does he any get any complaints from them? I wonder sometimes when so much is made out of a male celeb’s sex life, for instance: John Mayer, Lance Armstrong, George Clooney, and Verne Troyer.

  38. yamamama says:

    Y’all are just jealous of Lance!