Lindsay Lohan is a Crackhead Diplomat, tweets scholarly wisdom to Egypt

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Fresh from her denial on Twitter that she “would never steal… I was not raised to lie, cheat or steal,” Lindsay Lohan decided to get all kinds of jacked and watch CNN, then tweet about it. While I will give Lindsay a slow clap for not doing lines of blow while watching a marathon of Snapped, perhaps CNN wasn’t the best idea. Because now Lindsay fancies herself a cracked-out diplomat:

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[From Lindsay’s Twitter feed]

Fareed Zakaria better recognize. Wolf Blitzer better watch his ass. Christiane Amanpour needs to sit this one out. And Henry Kissinger can go suck a big one. Because Lindsay Lohan is The Cracked-Out Middle East Scholar, and she will tweet her pearls of cracked-out wisdom to the world!

Also- “its” is possessive. “It’s” is “it is”. It’s a common mistake that even non-crackheads make, but if Lindsay really wants to stick with this whole “crackhead scholar” thing, she should proof her tweets.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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59 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan is a Crackhead Diplomat, tweets scholarly wisdom to Egypt”

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  1. Faye says:

    I’m pretty sure her lawyer wrote these for her. Perhaps Lindsay does care about “peace or whatever” but I somehow just have a hard time believing she typed these with her own sticky fingers. Hopefully I’m being pointlessly negative and she really does care. I’d like to think she is trying to expand her view beyond herself and thereby improve her life.

    Also, it’s impossible to stop watching Snapped. They start one immediately after the other one ends. You have to be ready with the remote to turn your TV off if you ever want to do anything else.

  2. Innocent says:

    Wow this is the most complimentary Lindsay post in a while.

  3. lachica says:

    OK I have to admit that I’m enjoying that “Crack” is fast becoming her default combo-nickname on this and several other gossip sites. It’s (as in “it is”) hilarious. LOL!

  4. Rita says:

    Come on you guys! Recognize this for what it is. Dina is hoping a Jewish movie mogul will provide Lilo’s jailer with a set of Egyptian cotton bedsheets (1,000 TC).

    PS-Thanks for its-it’s review. You’re the its-girl

  5. LittleOat says:

    “Also, it’s impossible to stop watching Snapped. They start one immediately after the other one ends. You have to be ready with the remote to turn your TV off if you ever want to do anything else.”

    Hahaha! That happens to me with Forensic Files.

  6. echolocate says:

    I am transfixed by her nostrils.

  7. LittleDeadGirl says:

    LittleOat and Faye … I’m glad I’m not the only one -lol-

  8. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Its Lindsay…AKA god!!

  9. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Link below, Simon Cowell wants Lilo to be a judge on X-factor USA!!! WTF

    http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/ustv/s141/the-x-factor-us/news/a303426/lindsay-lohan-for-x-factor-usa.html

    (post disappeared last time so am trying again)

  10. Kasper says:

    Innocent… I think you are missing the point.

  11. OXA says:

    Myabe she should visit if Egypt chops off the hand of thieves?

  12. brin says:

    Hilary Clinton needs to see these tweets pronto….Crackhead would make a great addition to our State Dept.

  13. The Truth Fairy says:

    Guess we know which one is her preferred “coke nostril” hahaha.

    And “peaceful demonstrations” …. is she serious?!?!

  14. Liana says:

    Wow this is the most complimentary Lindsay post in a while.

    **********

    *snort* Sarcasm truly is lost on some.

  15. REALIST says:

    Maybe her experience (breaking rules and beating up employees of Betty Ford) gave her wisdom…
    Perhaps it’s the sweater, but I’d have to say she looks better (physically) then she has in a long time.

  16. merry says:

    “[...] peaceful demonstrations [...]”
    The official count was 10 dead people and 1.500 injured people on February the 2nd. The revolt included the trowing of stones and multiple fights with the army, it almost became a civil war.
    Where exactly is she taking her information?! Why aren’t her lawyers controlling what she cracktweets? And most importantly, why do her nostrils look like tha…oh, never mind.

  17. chasingadalia says:

    *facepalm*

    So, I could have gone to the Institute of Crackiality to learn about world affairs instead of an equally high priced university to study political science.

    Excellent.

  18. Tiffany says:

    Good Lord, hate to stick for up this piece of cracked out trash mess, but…
    She should have said their treaty, but it’s treaty is OK, it isn’t a contraction, but is showing possession. Egypt’s treaty.
    I even double checked online even though I was an English minor. You still have to use an apostrophe to make something possessive.
    Ugh, I came down on her side? OTOH, what the f@#% is she watching CNN cracked out for? Surely their are lines to be snorted, drinks to be consumed and stuff to steal somewhere near Venice, no?

  19. mln76 says:

    Well I think she’s brilliant. Hilary may as well retire and there is no need for Arab leaders and Israel to have a summit the Crackhead has spoken.

  20. e.non says:

    someone should ask her to point out egypt on a map.

  21. trixietrudyteresa says:

    oh borther, someone hired to repair her image had to have written these.

  22. Rita says:

    @Tiffany

    That apostrophe has been driving me crazy for years. Why don’t we eliminate the damn thing all together?

  23. Samigirl says:

    I was WAITING for someone to point out that the people of Egypt were NOT peaceful in their demonstrations…AT ALL. Not that I blame them, but still. Lilo is STILL as dumb as a box of rocks.

  24. Tiffany says:

    Rita, I agree. It’s one of those weird English language quirks, but hey, it’s a hell of a lot easier than French!
    The stupidest apostrophe rule? If you say Charles’ book it switches to after the first s. No second ‘s. I had a biotch of a time trying to explain that one to my 5th grader this week.
    Frankly I am impressed that Crackie even knows there is such a thing as an apostrophe!

  25. Skippy Joe says:

    Proof her tweets? I’d rather spoo on her teats.

  26. Jennifer Leigh says:

    I hate to say it, but I thought she looked really pretty for her court appearance.

  27. april says:

    well, not many people are raised to lie, or steal. you can do a lot of wrong things all on your own, but in her case, she probably did get some of it from her parents.

  28. Marjalane says:

    Whew! I guess Israel is feeling a lot better about things now that Lindsey Lohan has given her blessing to Middle East peace.

  29. Teri says:

    Her left nostril is where the straw goes

  30. ezra says:

    Stop with the lip injections all ready-soon you’ll look like Donald Duck.
    Once such a pretty and talented girl.
    Sad.

  31. LittleOat says:

    No!

    You don’t use an apostrophe to make a personal pronoun possessive.

  32. original kate says:

    at least she spelled egypt correctly.

  33. macey says:

    @ Ruby Red Lips

    that HAS to be a joke!! I cant stand that this twat gets any opportunities thrown at her after all she has done. especially since anyone else would be sitting behind bars right now but yet she ‘allegedly’ gets chances at something like that?
    but then again this could be another story planted by Dina just like the Superman story that did not have any truth to it.

  34. CB Rawks says:

    One of her nostrils is absolutely huge. Overworked, I guess.

  35. CB Rawks says:

    @Sami
    “I was WAITING for someone to point out that the people of Egypt were NOT peaceful in their demonstrations…AT ALL. Not that I blame them, but still. Lilo is STILL as dumb as a box of rocks. ”

    Heheh
    But smashing things and setting things on fire is the way Lindsay handles everything, and her life is very peaceful.

  36. Crash2GO2 says:

    Yeah, what’s up with everyone’s confusion regarding its and it’s? She used it correctly in her tweet.

  37. meaux says:

    Crash2GO2, you’re half right. She used it correctly the second time in her tweet (“its neighbors”), not the first time (“it’s [read: it is] treaty”).

    As a possessive, “its” does not have an apostrophe–just like “his” or “hers” or “theirs”.

  38. javagirl1 says:

    Ok its weird that this would come up on this site, because I’ve been pondering it for a while.

    I thought “it’s” was a possessive form. I thought “it is” was spelled “its.” Have I been backwards this whole time?

    I noticed that spell check was always trying to correct me, but I thought I was right! Grammar is usually one of my better subjects…but I feel I may have been horribly mistaken on the “its” and the “it’s.”

    Edit: I checked out Starlight’s link, and apparently I’ve been doing it wrong for quite a while.

    Edit: @Rita: I agree. F*ck that apostrophe!

  39. Bella Mosley says:

    Kaiser,
    As always you crack me up. Love your style. Cracked out diplomat, Wolf Blitzer, Christiane Amanpour,and Henry Kissinger. LMAO

  40. Crash2GO2 says:

    Oh yes meaux, I see you are correct. I missed that one! Thanks! :)

  41. macey says:

    well i feel better, Simon Cowell just shot down the rumors of her being on Xfactor, she was never even being considered.

    must have been Dina at work again.

  42. the original bellaluna says:

    No wonder she’s on crack – can you imagine the amount of energy it takes to maintain Blohan’s level of delusion?

    It’s got to be absolutely taxing.

  43. Tiffany says:

    OK, just looked it up again. You are correct, you don’t use it with plurals such as hers, his or its. I still maintain that she should have use their treaty.

    Why should we even expect her to have any correct thoughts or sentences on the matter anyway? She must have missed the dead bodies being dragged through the streets.
    Maybe she thought they had just partied too hard , you know, what Crackie looks like after a bender?

  44. Ruby Red Lips says:

    @ Macey – thank god, Am so happy to hear that it was just Dina lunatic rumour mill again

  45. dorothy says:

    Lindsey knew what was going on in Egypt? I would have thought that she assumed it was the name of a new club in L.A.

  46. Nefertiti says:

    what s wrong with her face again? her lips are overdone and her nostrils?? did she get a nose job? she used to have a cute button nose…
    ahhh… and trying to be political will not bring her job back… it s all a fail strategy

  47. Cheriekah says:

    Poor LoLa, did all nasty responders forget they are human too and subject to error? Who is to judge? and who knows the real truth? All assumptions are judgemental and pathetic really. Poor girl.

  48. Azurea says:

    Ah, grammar. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Kaiser. Would you now please instruct your readers on the general use of the possessive vs. the plural, and the proper use of apostrophes? Not to mention the difference between “your” and “you’re,” and of course “there” and “their” and “they’re.” Splendid!

  49. MarenGermany says:

    like e.non said:
    let her point out egypt on a map.
    hahaha
    someone should totally do that.

  50. ! says:

    Clearly she wasn’t even paying attention; the Egyptian protests weren’t entirely non-violent. The Egyptian people for the most part stayed peaceful but in general this was not like some hippie sit-in at the Piggy Wiggly.

  51. No Sensei says:

    @ echolocate that is where the money goes…

  52. original kate says:

    “As a possessive, “its” does not have an apostrophe–just like “his” or “hers” or “theirs”.

    @ meaux: yes, you are correct. “it’s” is a contraction of it is. lohan was correct in her second use, although i agree with the poster upthread who said “their” would have been a better choice.

    dear god, i just agreed with a lohan.

  53. talktalk says:

    She looks so tired and OLD…
    ICK

  54. mimi says:

    I was just reading that her ‘Basic Instinct’ court dress is selling out after she was seen with it on last week…..seriously!?

    I hate people

  55. Crash2GO2 says:

    The dress was awesome, but so not appropriate for court. And neither was her smirky face. *sigh* Narcissists can be so irritating.

  56. Kloops says:

    The harder she tries the less sober and intelligent she appears. Appearing in court looking like a high priced call-girl is her niche and charming in a twisted way. Tweeting political words of wisdom reflecting her faux intelligence makes me stabby. Ugh.