Grammy Open Post: Hosted by Rihanna’s Ch-Ch-Chia head

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I used to care about music. I used to care what was hip and who had sold out and which band was releasing a new album. In my youth, bitches. Nowadays, I go to iTunes and stare at the “New Releases” page with a “WTF?” thought-bubble over my head. What I’m trying to say is that if you’ve come here for lots of Grammys info, you’ve come to the wrong place. If you’d like to know what to expect, here is the list of this year’s nominees. I glanced through three categories and I was all “Hmpf.”

So… enjoy this open post, and feel free to discuss any and all Grammy-related stuff. You can even discuss what an old fart I am, and how I’m two seconds away from telling the whippersnappers to get off my lawn. Tomorrow, CB and I will do recaps and have videos of some of the better or more newsworthy performances, and of course, we’ll do the fashion. Speaking of, all of these photos are from some of this weekend’s pre-Grammy events. Consider this your fashion/trainwreck warning: the Grammys are never going to be the event where we say “Oh, she looks amazing, I want that!” Example: here’s Katy Perry looking like she borrowed Winona Ryder’s Corpse-Bride style:

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I want this John Mayer photo on a t-shirt.

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I love Vanessa and Nick Lachey’s red carpet pose. It’s so unique! They’re all “tit-to-tit, heart-to-heart, we were made for each other!”

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Miley Cyrus… I actually don’t hate the dress. On a middle-aged stripper. On Miley, it is slightly inappropriate, however. Also, I hate the pigeon-toed red carpet stance. Miley does it all of the time, and it sucks.

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Never change, Whitney. Also: if her face gets any tighter, an eyeball will pop out.

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Yes, Adrien Brody was at a pre-Grammy event. Ugh, douche-face. If that face came up to you at a bar, would you let it buy you a drink? NO YOU WOULDN’T.

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Florence Welsh from Florence and the Machine. I love her. Does this mean I know the identity of at least one cool music person?

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Kings of Leon… they seem kind of like a lineup of douches, but I get that a lot of people like them. Eh. Whatev.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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89 Responses to “Grammy Open Post: Hosted by Rihanna’s Ch-Ch-Chia head”

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  1. DetRiotgirl says:

    Lol@all of this Kaiser! I only just turned 26, and I am right there with you with my WTF face. ITA with everything you said, especially about all the various douches present and about Miley’s stripper dress.

  2. sisi says:

    also 26, ans also totally relating to your opinion on the music industry Kaiser.

    Jeebus man, that dress makes Miley hips seem huge and she doesn’t even have any hips

  3. Rita says:

    I don’t make in a month what Rihanna spent on that hair.

    Kate has a wonderful figure for that dress but when she walks I bet she sounds like a wind chime.

    Yes Mr. Mayer, you think, therefore you are.

    Miley, my tennis racket cover looks just like that.

    @Kaiser: A big plastic owl in the front yard helps keep those whippersnappers away.

  4. Eleonor says:

    Rihanna’s hair.I don’t like her or her music, but God somebody must stop this: she looks like a clown wig!
    Did Miley get a boob job?

  5. Anon says:

    Can we just talk (or laugh) about Lady Gaga’s arrival for a minute?

    http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lgksp6fmY61qbrn17o1_500.jpg

  6. renai(jrt) says:

    Whitney looks good. i love Whitney

    the best ever grammy performance was Pinks glitter in the air….a thing of beauty

  7. ADS says:

    How does such bad hair happen to such a pretty face? Yes, Riri Imma talking to you.

  8. renai(jrt) says:

    Im the same with music today…..i cant even stand to turn on the radio and find myself searching for some oldies just to hear what music and lyrics are suppose to sound like.
    This is why im addicted to Rush and Michael Savage

  9. lrm says:

    actually, rhianna still lookks beautiful with this one on…usually, whatever her hair is ‘doing’ detracts from her looks and she looks assy.

    anyway, that is SO true re: A Brody-no, i wouldn’t let him buy me a drink. you put it in total perspective for me…
    man, such a bummer, b/c i really like him as an actor! how did he get like this?
    i think he’s not really comfortable in the public eye, is part of the problem-he has no idea how to do it.

  10. jemshoes says:

    So funny, Kaiser!

    I’m going to be 34 next week, so all you 25-somethings, what does this make ME?! 😀

    And I’ve never, ever been cool in my music tastes, so I have no credibility whatsoever to defend. I’ve not had a clue of who / what’s “in” since the early 90s.

    And Rihanna’s hair: she looks like Bozo the Clown. But she looks happy … :O

  11. OXA says:

    My day is complete, Colin Firth & Geoffrey Rush won BAFTA’s. The Kings Speech took 7 out fo the 14 it awards it was up for.

  12. Kids Today says:

    Just yesterday I was on iTunes looking at the top 10 lists and wondered if they could create a separate list based on purchases for people born before 1980. That would probably cut the 80% Glee monopoly to the quick. I did learn that apparently Avril Lavigne is still making records. Hm.

  13. MarenGermany says:

    26 too, and agree 🙂
    Kaiser, awesome.

    Plus, I said it before, but i hate Katy Perry.
    She either looks like an arrogant twat or with her oh so famous “Oops-i-just-dropped-my-lollipop”-face.
    Ugh.
    Where is real music???

  14. gloaming says:

    I see Rhianna’s still channelling Sideshow Bob.

  15. renai(jrt) says:

    at least Katy has a great voice…ill take her over the Britney squeaking

  16. eja102 says:

    22 and could care less.

    totally agree about rhianna.

  17. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    I’m a punk/hardcore/metal fan, a genre Grammy voters know nothing about (as evidenced by the fact that Jethro Tull won a grammy for best “heavy metal” album). However, I do hear popular music in stores and friends cars and I can honestly say Rihanna is the worst! Katie Perry strikes me as a low rent Britney Spears and Lady GaGa is talented but too commercial for me to consider her as unique as she wants us all to believe.

  18. Nanea says:

    And here’s another co-signer to that WTF moment when looking at new releases, Top Ten lists etc etc. Even when I have the radio on in the kitchen, the station I used to sing along to has people on I’ve never even heard of… or Lady Gaga and her ilk.

  19. Shy says:

    Gosh I miss so much 1995-2003. The era of JLo, Ricky Martin, Eminem, Britney, Aguilera, Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. I used to wait for all those VMA and Grammy shows. I waited for performances. And now I don’t even know 70% of the people they nominate for VMA.

    And except Lady Gaga now there are no real performers.

  20. Jackson says:

    I’m sure no one else will feel this way, but I just don’t hate KP’s gown. I’m not sure…but I think I actually like that thing. It has been a long weekend though. And yeah, I’d don’t give a crap about the Grammy’s….I just like to see what people are wearing.

    ETA: The MIley dress, on the otherhand, is hideous. And is that a nipple peaking out to say hello? Oy.

  21. Laura says:

    Music sucks now days thats why.
    It is CRAP.
    And lol @ the line up of douches.

  22. Claire says:

    Rihanna suxs. Her music is crap and its all over the radio – how many songs can one person have out at one time!

  23. Liana says:

    so sick of mainstream music. And I know and really like Adrien Brody. He’s not a douche.

  24. Chris says:

    @gloaming: I was thinking the same thing. I saw her on some mobile phone ad this morning. Talk about a sell out. I thought she was supposed to have a bit of an edge.

    Is it me or is Miley’s face getting fatter? She looks like someone who could really blow out if she’s not careful.

  25. jover says:

    Katy has a great voice. No, Aretha, Janis Joplin, Selena etc. had great voices – KP has a great set of bolt-ons and a pr team that is on meth to keep her in the limelight. I would like to have the neilsen’s on how many ppl actually watched this bloated/wasted festival of douchery and self-satisfaction and absorption from start to finish. But I hope Esperanza Spalding wins something a real musician among so many poseurs.

  26. Marjalane says:

    I’m pretty sure Ryan Seacrest just told Miley she was fat. Not sure where that bloat face came from.

  27. GeekLuva says:

    Can anyone post a link to a video of that Lady Gaga entrance? Gotta admit those photos linked piqued my interest.

  28. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @Liana, thank you for not killing my love for Adrien Brody. If he’s packing THAT in the nose department, I’d imagine he’s packing elsewhere as well 😉

  29. Leigh says:

    Am I the only one that thinks Florence Welsh looks like Adrian Brody in makeup and a red wig?

    (not trying to be mean but the resemblance LEPT off the screen at me)

  30. chasingadalia says:

    I’m reading elsewhere that that isn’t Whitney…

    Someone enlighten me?

  31. Marjalane says:

    I thought the Aretha tribute was kind of boring; Parts of it were good, but too long overall.

  32. Nanz says:

    What’s going on with Miley’s face lately? Puffy, but I don’t think it’s weight gain. Botox?

  33. Scarlet Vixen says:

    HOLY SH*T. Listening to Lady Gaga right now, and “Born this Way” sounds like a total rip-off of “Express Yourself” by Madonna. Really Gaga? First “Isla Bonita” became “Alejandro” and now this? I’m sorry, but why do people think she’s so talented again?

  34. Marjalane says:

    Christina Aguliera didn’t sound bad tonite, but she sure looked like shit. Is it possible for nose jobs to grow back?

  35. macey says:

    Good gawd Rihanna is going to ruin Eminem’s performance for me. Im only watching to see him and was hoping she wasnt going to join on stage but she is 🙁
    I cant stand her or her squeaky, pitchy voice and its even worse live. She totally ruins that song for me
    I read she’s making excuses for a horrid performance by claiming she’s ill but I think anyone that’s heard her live knows thats just her voice without the auto-tune.

  36. mea! says:

    Yourr face will blost from bulimia. Just saying. Everyone at the grammys are too commercial, the event is just one fat advertisment so these stars can get the pics taken be interviewed and promote their music. I’m twenty and I’m baffled by the crap that played on the radio. Rihanna Kady Perry Keshia Britney ugh don’t get me started on lady gag face.

  37. Tess says:

    GaGa was ridiculous…she bombed. That egg shtick. Laughable lyrics. Then to add insult to injury, Lady Madonna Lite ripped off Kyle Richard’s signature ponytail spinning move. jeesh.

  38. mea! says:

    Bloat*

  39. Matt says:

    Rihanna + Wig bought from Sally’s = Ronald McDonald.

  40. louise says:

    Wow Adrien Brody will show up to any redcarpet. I thought the tribute was ok but way to long. I love “The House That Built Me” but Miranda didn’t sound very good.

  41. FantasticBeasts says:

    Those Kings of Leon have some awfully tight pants on

  42. Liana says:

    @MorticiansDoItDeader: Adrien is a really nice guy with crappy taste in women and clothing. And I’ve never heard anyone say anything negative about him, either, and my industry is a catty one!

    And what fresh hell am I watching?

  43. AngelMay says:

    I see Miley bought some boobs.

  44. Bopa says:

    Am I the only person that listens to Lady Gaga and thinks that their being punked. Like Ashton Kutcher hired someone to sing songs that sound like they were 1980s/90s rejects from Madonna? Or that this is a college case study on how people will say they like anything that the media tells them they should like.

  45. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @Liana, that’s refreshing. Now that you mention it, he does seem to fall for some pretty vapid women. Maybe that’s why people get the wrong impression of him? People assume that, because his partners have no depth neither does he. I, however, see past that all 😉 I’ll watch anything that man is in “the Jacket,” “Predators” etc. I also have a strange fascination with Jason Statham (who, I’m sure, is far less gentlemanly than Adrien Brody).

  46. Jenny says:

    1. Katy Perry has ginomous hands.

    2. From that angle, Adrien Brody’s nose almost looks straight.

  47. ohduho says:

    Ha ha chi-chi-chia head. Not really that funny if that’s what your hair looks like by birth.

    My hair is naturally like how Rihanna is wearing her hair now minus the shocking red color. But rather than being comfortable with it and being a proud black woman with great hair I was taught that my natural hairstyle exists for people to make fun of and so I should wear it straight.

    I hate to be picky but comments like that are have a negative and lasting impact on people.

  48. Dhavy says:

    no real singers here, nothing that will make me watch any performance anyway

    I just wish someone can tell Jlo that her stupid constipated look while looking at the camera and her need to dress like the 20 yr old she’s not is old!

  49. Scarlet Vixen says:

    Rihanna looks like Side Show Bob.

  50. Oi says:

    RE Gaga: Let me call it: the empress isn’t wearing any clothes!

  51. Crash2GO2 says:

    I see that Miley’s gained the Freshman 15. What do you all it though when they aren’t in college?

  52. chasingadalia says:

    Okay, hats off to Goopy. Cee Lo in that costume with the Muppets… epic win. I can see why Cee Lo would agree to that.

  53. jaye E says:

    I must be in the minority because I LIKE Rihanna’s hair(minus the bright red color). I spend hours trying to ACHIEVE that look.

  54. Louise says:

    Too funny seeing Nicole Kidman sing along to Katy Perry.

  55. Bebe says:

    #47 I agree. I was schocked that many people made fun of Pete Wentz natural hair too.

  56. Bopa says:

    @47 Really…we’re going to turn the Grammy’s into a race thread. I’m black and I didn’t get any racism from the chia pet comment. Rihanna isn’t wearing her natural hair. Whatever that is up there is sitting on top of her hair and looks like a horrible wig that is about to rocket launch away from her head. Do you really want to compare your natural hair to that?

  57. Dhavy says:

    Hey I just saw saw Jada Pinkett’s own version of the chia pet look, hate to say it but Rihanna looks better

  58. Cakes says:

    LOL great write up Kaiser. And jemshoes as a 25 year old responding to your question: that makes you 9 years older than me 😀
    Most mainstream music is auto-tuned fluff. I still like it but recognize that no matter how much caca wants to be my generations Madonna…its not gonna happen. I think her whole act is tired and its all been done before.

  59. d says:

    frankly, I kinda like Rihanna’s hair like that. I like that style.

  60. macey says:

    Skyler Grey sounded soo much better than Rihanna, wish he would have recorded the song with her. She also wrote 3 verses of LTwYL, at least now she finally getting some credit for her work.

  61. FantasticBeasts says:

    All types of hair can look ridiculous.

    Kesha’s very straight, very blonde hair looked ridiculous in that picture from that other post.

    Ridiculous looking hair is ridiculous looking hair be it curly, straight, blonde, red, brown, whatever.

  62. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    Who decides which “musicians,” who’ve died this past year, are worthy of tribute? I was pleased to see Dio, but how could they forget Peter Steele of “Type O Negative?” I just don’t get how he was any less influential than music managers and some of the other people they featured 🙁

  63. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    Who decides which “musicians,” who’ve died this past year, are worthy of tribute? I was pleased to see Dio, but how could they forget Peter Steele of “Type O Negative?” I just don’t get how he was any less influential than music managers and some of the other people they featured 🙁

  64. DrM says:

    Miley looks HEINOUS!

  65. Naw, Bruh. I'm Good says:

    Kaiser –

    1.) So with you on this whippersnapper stuff. Kinda not feeling some kinda way about too much of any “product” anymore. Hoping songs and musicians somehow make their way back into popular music’s crack house sometime soon.

    2.) My Black Panther goodies would buy the John Mayer shirt, too. Are you taking Paypal for that?:-)

    3.) Team Cee Lo Green!!! Loved the line on Glee when they asked GoopyGoo what she knew about Ceelo as she was “umm, like, 40!” Ummm, so is he. Been loving him since Cell Therapy when he was ’bout 20. So so glad for his success:-) And for those who aren’t or think he’s a sellout instead of a grown man who’s evolving and expanding his career, he’s got two words for you.

    4.) Esperanza Spalding – Yay!!! She actually plays an instrument, ya’ll. Can’t wait til her and Questlove have their little Boondocky Jayden and Willow. Their kids will actually have genetically-granted talent. And can you imagine the “Whip My Hair” cover their daughter could do?

    5.) Auntie ‘Reatha? – Gastric bypass. Told ya’ll. I hope they fired that soulless PR person who started the other story. She’s 10lbs’ from looking like Patti Labelle now.

    6.) New dictionary entry – Rihanna: adj.) annoying. (And what’s up with the Goombay carnival parade she just called a performance?)

  66. FantasticBeasts says:

    Arcade Fire = random noises, yelling and bicycle riders.

  67. Bopa says:

    @Naw, Bruh

    What do you think of the planned Cee Lo Goodie Mob reunion?

  68. chasingadalia says:

    I’m very displeased about how Album of the Year turned out. My other half says that if there was ever a time for Kanye to bust on stage and give an “I’mma let you finish,” speech, this was it.

  69. I’m officially OLD because I couldn’t watch the first Arcade Fire song because the lights were about to throw me into a seizure. WHERE’S MY BONIVA?

  70. Justaposter says:

    CelebNewsWire!
    LOLOLOLOLOLO!

    Heck even my 11 year old was asking me “Mom, do those lights make you dizzy?”

    Don’t hate, but I loved Goopy and Cee Lo!

  71. Naw, Bruh. I'm Good says:

    @ 61 –

    Ya’ll missed the only Goodie Mob reunion that will ever matter. It happened in September of 2009 in ATL at Masquerade. It was a concert and it was the closest they will ever come to recreating their magic as a unit. Ceelo’s a popstar who never lied about his goal. Gip and them are…Gip and them. Their heads aren’t in rap the way they used to be. Too old and no one but Jay-Z can seem to manage an adult rap career. You know what they say – The Goo.d Die. M.ostly O.ver B.s So do the rappers and Good music.

    Sorry – Call me a sellout but I loved the Elmo/Mummer strut he and Gwyngwyn put on. It was the funnest thing of the night:-)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA7vyGEjnDs

  72. MonicaBee says:

    @CelebNewsWire, that is almost verbatim what my Facebook status update said. I had (have?) no idea who Arcade Fire is and it’s not like I live under a rock…

    I did enjoy this year’s Grammys much more than years past. I liked seeing The Avett Brothers, Mumford & Sons and Bob Dylan perform, and I liked seeing ol’ Mick Jagger bring his swagger out!

  73. Jrox says:

    Lady Antebellum.. I get it.. Its a quarter past one.. ur needy… Enough already! WTF on best new artist? Not digging the choice over Florence and Mumford. Also Arcade really won for their body of work.. This album wasn’t as great as previous but the Grammys can b very late to jump on the band wagon.

  74. Sandy says:

    Florence and the Machine.
    Everything else is a bunch of soulless pap.

  75. ctkat1 says:

    I’m an awards show junkie and even I can’t muster a care about the Grammys. Partly because I know/listen to maybe two of the performers and nominees, and mainly because all of the really great performances or trainwrecks will be covered in my favorite blogs tomorrow.

    So I don’t have to sit through 3+ hours of a bad show in order to find out if Xtina fell off the stage, or if Kanye stage bombed someone, or how Goopy sounded…it will all be presented tomorrow here at Celebitchy!

  76. KatScorp says:

    *sigh* I know, it being the Grammys and all, that it might seem acceptable to have the lovely Neil Patrick Harris parked BEHIND Margerine (LeAnn) Rimes and her Deadbeat Gigalo… but I don’t like it. Neil was awesome in Whedon’s award winning musical, while LeAnn’s career is eating dirt. Bitch only got this nomination because the co-writer is on the fuqking selection committee.

  77. Bohemia says:

    well, it was full of surprises.

  78. Liana says:

    I was pleased to see Dio, but how could they forget Peter Steele of “Type O Negative?” I just don’t get how he was any less influential than music managers and some of the other people they featured
    *************

    Yeah, those of us who knew him were a little bummed by the slight, as well as Type O fans everywhere.

  79. Lynda says:

    After watching the light show, my brain waves were disturbed like home made electroshock treatment. I had to go to sleep. Nothing worth watching. I don’t get any of it. Thankfully Westminister Dog Show starts today, and that I get.

  80. crab says:

    I love Metal/Hard Rock n Roll!! I can’t even find a radio station that plays that type of music anymore! Bring back rock bands that play real instruments!

  81. Marie says:

    I didn’t watch it and Kasier you hit the nail right on the head with WTF? By the way if someone is missing a poodle I found it on RiRi’s head, bitch tried to color it so she wouldn’t get caught.

  82. luls says:

    Are you kidding me? IM ONLY 21 and iv been going WTF at new music releases for the LAST 2 YEARS!!

    Somethins gotta be seriously WRONG when u long for the music of past generations, and ur still in ur early 20s!

  83. MSat says:

    Florence from Florence and the Machine is TERRIBLE live. Why is everyone making such a big deal about her?

    I thought Xtina redeemed herself during the Aretha tribute. She sang “Ain’t No Way” which is one of Aretha’s most difficult tunes. Also thought Jennifer Hudson BLEW the DOORS off that place.

    Muse rocked, Dylan was awful, and I am glad that soul legend Mavis Staples has FINALLY been recognized with a Grammy. If Bieber had won and she didn’t, I was gonna bust some shit up.

    Don’t. Care. About. Gaga.

  84. mln76 says:

    I’m 34 and I haven’t taken the Grammy’s seriously since 1985 because most of my all time favs never won anything. As for current music I have such a huge older selection that is varied enough that there are very few current artists I keep up with. I usually end up liking what sounds good in my spin classes and whatever my friends at work listen to. I just discovered the Black Keys now they are amazing(even if they are sellouts)

  85. sapphire says:

    The Grammys have always been seriously uncool, Kaiser. They were manufactured to give an award platform to “new” music or pop music, not rock and roll or serious soul or R&B. So watered down retreads, not the real stuff shows up.

  86. icantbelievethis says:

    @Katscorp Ah, but the seating arrangement made it easier to see how pissed she looked after Miranda performed at the Grammy’s and after Miranda won instead of her. Those looks were priceless.

  87. I Choose Me says:

    Agree with Kaiser, MarenGermany, Nanea, Liana et al. I’m 34 and I haven’t bought an album in years. My tastes are pretty eclectic so I just download the songs I like to hear. I have absolutely no clue who half of these people at the Grammy Awards are.

    “RE Gaga: Let me call it: the empress isn’t wearing any clothes!”

    Oho’s comment FTW!

    Oh, Happy Valetine’s Day to all my fellow Celebitches. 🙂

  88. MMF says:

    My son is a jr. in college. We watched a little bit of the grammys together.
    He made a statement that I totally agreed with.
    There hasn’t been any real stand out music since the 90’s.
    Smart kid. College is paying off.

  89. KatScorp says:

    @86 icantbelievethis: I went slackjawed when I saw her lackluster applause and bitchy face after that performance. Whether or not her defenders go nuts proclaiming that LeAnn did not say “fuqing bitch” or “fuqing (something)”, the look of envy and resentment on her face at she looked around at the enthusiastic audience gave my miserable 3:30am insomnia some meaning.

    I know LeAnn’s face. I was one of her most objective/cynical, yet fanatic, follower for twelve years. LeAnn was looking around and thinking that she should be on that stage, experiencing that ovation. I think she actually believes that her current singles, ‘Swinging’ and ‘Crazy Women’, merit her this popularity.

    Oh, I may be sleep deprived (35 hours and counting) but I’m still getting a kick out of this soap opera.