'08
The late John Lennon’s favored son, Sean, was interviewed recently by a John Lennon biographer for yet another book on the former Beatle. Though Sean was only five years old when his father was murdered, he did supply some memories – some of them sweet, and one of them rather disturbing.
JOHN Lennon is remembered for his soft-spoken messages of peace and love – but the beloved Beatle had a hair-trigger temper so volatile, nearly anything could set him off. And one night, it exploded in an incident that ended up damaging his son’s hearing.
In a jaw-dropping postscript in Philip Norman’s new biography, “John Lennon: The Life,” out next month, Sean Lennon tells how his father flew off the handle and screamed into his ear as a young boy.
“[He was] teaching me how to cut and eat steak, which was a mystery to me at age 4; how to stick the fork in and cut behind it, and that was how you got a piece in your mouth,” writes Sean, 32, whose mom is Yoko Ono. “I think it was that night when he got very upset with me, I think because of something I did very cheekily with the steak. He did wind up yelling at me very, very loudly to the point where he damaged my ear, and I had to go to the hospital.”
He says John, mortified by his cruelty, was immediately apologetic: “I remember when I was lying on the floor and hurting, and him holding me and saying, ‘I’m so sorry.’ He did have a temper.”
Sean recalls his dad’s soft side, too. “I remember one time he accidentally let one of the heavy wooden doors at The Dakota slam on my finger,” Sean tells Norman. “And he was very upset about that. My fingernail eventually fell off.” Another time, “Alice, our black cat, had jumped out the window after a pigeon and died, and I remember that was the only time, I think, I ever saw my dad cry.”
Of Lennon’s leaving the Fab Four to form the Plastic Ono Band with Yoko, “that to me was like when Matisse turned his back on painting and decided that everything he wanted to say artistically from now on could be said by a few simple shapes cut out of paper. It was as if Elvis had left Vegas in the ’70s and started to play with the punks.”
The idea of John Lennon shouting loudly enough into his young son’s ear to warrant a hospital visit is shocking. But just because someone is a great musician doesn’t automatically mean he’s a great father. I’m sure his older son, Julian, could attest to that – John basically abandoned Julian when he married Yoko. It’s sad that this disturbing incident is one of the few memories Sean has of his father.
Sean Lennon is shown on 2/20/08 at The Brit Awards Credit: Landmark / PR Photos. He is shown below with his late father in 1978. Via HowStuffWorks.
Written by MSat
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66 Responses to “Sean Lennon reveals how his father damaged his hearing by yelling at him”
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Curious as to why Sean felt the need to get this off his chest? Seems a bit petty. It’s not like Lennon ever pretended to be a saint or anything – by most accounts, he was very selfish, needy etc but hey, most seriously talented people are, it’s why we make allowances for them. I’d have thought Sean would have been more protective of his father’s image. But whatever.
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Why should a child protect his parent’s image – especially if that image doesn’t gibe with reality?
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Um, that’s my point. If you haven’t read much on Lennon, then you may be one of the people who believed him to be saintly. I have and he wasn’t, nor ever pretended to be. Sean’s revelation just seems surplus to requirements.
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It doesn’t say that it was repeated behaviour or anything. Most people seriously loose their patience with they’re children. Parenting is a tough gig. If he treated his son this way once, learned his lesson and never did it again, I’d say that sounds like normal parenting.
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Sean didn’t volunteer this information in order to benefit himself – he did it as one aspect of a long interview in what appears to be a comprehensive biography of his father. I think it’s relevant in that context.
It’s interesting to me because Lennon was often depicted as a better father to Sean than he was to Julian – whom he didn’t **entirely** abandon, at least according to the Bob Spitz book on the Beatles. I don’t think screaming at your child to the point of hospitalization is normal parenting.
And considering Geronimo’s venomous comments about other celebrities, I’m surprised that she thinks that anyone’s image needs to be protected.
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Wow. Care to elaborate on that? Oprah? Heather Mills? Paris Hilton? Michael Lohan? Those are pretty much my four. Do tell which one I’ve unfairly maligned and criticised?
Or maybe I really shouldn’t bother with you?
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As an old Lennon fan I’ve always been aware that he had an explosive temper. He’s actually known to have beat both his wives and was often deliberately cruel to fans and friends alike. That’s exactly what made the whole peace movement so attractive to him. He actually went out of his way to treat Sean decently, and it seems he mostly succeeded. It’s not so easy conquering oneself.
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Do you always have to throw in some nasty remark to the other posters CandyKay?? Might I remind you that this is a gossip column. Celebs are fair game here. Other posters are not.
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Not to speak ill of the dead or anything, but a man who does that to his son sounds like a bit of a c*nt.
Geronimo- Your comments are confusing- why should he protect the image of his father, he owes him nothing and is just stating truthfully what happened to him as a child, how does that make him petty??
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“..why should he protect the image of his father, he owes him nothing..”
A bit of respect, no? Just don’t think the detail here adds anything new to the already well-documented knowledge that he had a bad temper and was prone to hissy fits. Anyway, I’m done on the subject, my opinion, no one needs to agree with it or like it.
@gg – thanks, appreciate your comment.
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that’s such a terrible thing he did to this sweet boy shame on him and where was the mother to protect this poor kid from this loonetic.
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The thought of someone screaming in a childs ear (or anyones ear) makes me nauseous. It likely ruptured the ear drum, very painful.
Sean has every right to tell whatever he wants about his father. He lived it.
John Lennon was a mixed bag of good and bad just like most people. His involvement with the peace movement was one of his greatest achievements.
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for myself, i’m glad to learn that john lennon was no more perfect than myself. i often wondered why he dropped out, what demons drove him to do heroin, why he entered into that relationship with may pang, all of that. i guess, like the artist he was, he was a complex man. and sean, i think, is kind enough to let the reading public see that. i don’t see anything wrong with that. we knew he was no saint, that’s for sure.
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According to a few books, Yoko controlled John to the point where, when he was getting sick of her, she used their Asian assistant to entertain him for a year or so, and then appeared at a big moment in his life, and knew she could suck him back into her vortex easily. Seems to have worked.
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I can never get over the sadness Julian must have felt over John’s abandonment of him and subsequent over-the-top preferential treatment of Sean. Inexcusable.
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Yeah, I’ve read a lot about all of the Beatles, and Lennon was no saint, esp. in the fatherhood and husbandhood dept. It doesn’t surprise me that he hurt Sean – and it doesn’t surprise me that Sean told someone.
Sidenote- Paul seems like a really good father to his own kids, and as a surrogate father to Julian.
Yeah, and Team Geronimo.
I got what you were trying to say, G. But still, ZOMG SLUT FIGHT.
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Anyone who has researched John Lennon’s bio knows that while a he was a great artist he probably wasn’t the nicest person or best lover/husband/parent. But isn’t that true about alot of celebs? Many fans can separate the two personas and don’t care about an artist’s personal life. This doesn’t surprise me about John Lennon but I still like his music.
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@ CandyKay: huh? I hope that you know geronimo personally and she killed your father or something, because if not that is one weird post.
Last I checked, the reason the comment section exists is to allow readers to make venomous comments about fame wh*res.
I’m especially surprised it was geronimo you targeted, as I always notice her comments are particularly thoughtful and well-written.
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Oh please. Lennon was a very talented musician, but to make him out to be some complex genius is absurd. He was rich, spoiled, and a bit of an eccentric. Nothing more or less. And I am a huge fan.
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Maybe this will explain Sean’s awful music sense.
I KID! I KID!
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Yeah, I always felt bad for Julian. He has true talent! What has happened to him?
Poor Sean for having had to endure his father’s yealling into his ear and hurting him like that!
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I suspect if John Lennon were here today, he’d be on medication for bipolar disorder. Everything I’ve heard about him, it sounds like he had huge ups and downs.
Oh, and I don’t give a shit if he was a musical genius. Only a dick screams into his son’s eardrum until it pops!
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I don’t believe the wife-beating, but he did abandon Julianne when he met Yoko – hence the song “Hey Jude” written by Paul to Julianne.
A beautiful gift.
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I’m with you on this one geronimo (and I would never call you venemous!) I suppose he has a right to reveal this incident, but as we all know, parenting is a very tough job and I think every one of us has made at least a few mistakes. Let’s not forget how much John adored Sean and stayed home to take care of him.
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@ gg- you m ean May Pang- she was the one who wash more or less pushed to have a fling with John per Yoko. THAT was odd.. Yoko was a strange bird. Pang just came out with a photo book on him too.
Geronimo seems pretty restrained in posts actually. I can’t think of one person here who comes totally unhinged and makes over the top attacks. That seems to happen more on other message boards for some reason.
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Still a bit puzzled on the venom front myself but thank you, kaiser, Whitey, OrangeJ and Anony. Appreciate your comments very much.
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There’s been neurological studies on “the genius effect” showing that individuals with extremely high levels of creativity are prone to severe cognitive/affective disorders. Some speculate that the majority of artistic “geniuses” suffer from Bipolar I – a disorder that effects only 1% of the population, not unlike cognitive geniuses and schizophrenia.
I can’t remember the name of study or the conclusive results – my OCD ass is going to be looking for the research notes all day until I find it!
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Here is a link to an article about bipolar and creative genius…not sure if one you were looking for:
http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/1726
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My Dad did something similar to me – (he jumped on my foot after I jumped on his). He didnt intend to truely hurt me and was very sorry for it afterward.
Sometime parents – like kids take things too far. Enough said.
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You know, he’s not God. Some of the most sensitive/artistic people are often the most tortured. The pendulam needs to swing both ways. I mean look at the pain Bob Marley caused to Rita! No one, no matter how in touch we are, or how we may know “what’s up”, is perfect or even remotely close.
I still love John Lennon for his mind and his works. Hell, come by my house, you’d think Sam Kinison has risen.
*** sorry, I didn’t read the comments before I posted, you have all said the same thing.
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It’s sad to know that about Lennon. I do wish his son had kept that a private memory actually.
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Our tendency to treasure our feelings for Lennon at the expense of a son’s sharing and the healing that it could bring is disturbing.
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Hmmm . . . thanks for the link, E. It’s simular to what I was saying – actually a pretty good summation of the theory – but I’m looking for an actual research paper that delved into the sexy bits like neural pathways and firing transmitters, as well as comprehensive behavioral studies. I know I have a hard copy somewhere . . . it’s driving me crazy that I can’t find it!
(And maybe its just the psycho-snob in me, but I think I sprained my eyeballs reading some of the reader commentary on that page. Everyone wants to be special, I guess.)
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John Lennon was an alcoholic addict who was abandoned by his parents as a child and lost his beloved aunt early in his Beatles career. He was angry, at times out of control and cruel to others. Though Yoko may have saved him in some sense, it was a pathologically dependent relationship. It is no surprise that he abandoned his first son and treated his 2nd abusively. There is no excuse for it, creative genius or not. He had access to and should have asked for help. I suspect he was doing what most addicts do: denial, projection and rationalization.
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OK folks, these are the memories of a 5-year old. I’m not saying they’re not true, but most of us have memories from that time that lack perspective. Again, not saying they are not true. Second point, he said it damaged his ear and he went to the hospital. OK, it doesn’t say he required hospitalization. The Mayoclinic.com states “A sudden, extremely loud noise, such as from an explosion or a firearm, can rupture your eardrum.” I doubt John Lennon was as loud as an explosion or a firearm. Sean states that his dad felt really bad after he yelled at him, and as a parent, I can assure you that guilt frequently comes out as overcompensating on medical care. He over-reacted, bullied his kid at the dinner table, the kid said he hurt his ear (this is a common comment from children) and he took the boy to the emergency room. Sounds pretty pedestrian to me. Was John Lennon perfect. Nope. Still just a human being. Neither celebu-saint or celebu-monster.
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Sean Lennon is a BRILLIANT musician. His ‘Into The Sun’ album is one of my all time favorites, and I saw his concert last year and it was unbelievable. What a horrible memory to have to remember your father with.
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I think to say that he treated his son abusively is a stretch. Like KW, the first thing that came to mind upon reading this was that these are the memories of a small child and those can be distorted by all sorts of things.
I would also like to say, Mark, that if ever you should be found lacking in any way or fall short in your duties as a father/husband, that you are judged with more mercy than you demonstrate here.
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Most kids only remember major events before 5 if they remember any.
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John has long been one of my “spiritual advisors”. That being said, I have also long known that he lived with his demons, like most of us, and his manifested themselves through anger and heavy drugs. He was for sure angry with God to the point where he may have become atheist.
The 2 things we must consider are
A. None of this erases the world message that he costantly tried to project.
B. People like Lennon (or Einstein or Earnhardt or anyone else at the absolute top of their profession) are incredibely driven people who nearly create their own existence, many times at the cost of basic human thoughts and feelings, therefore many become a tad eccentric.
It is unfair to judge him right or wrong from the perspective of our own mundane lives.
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Oh sure! Let’s encourage kids to shut up about what happens at home! Your father screams in your ear? Even if you’re too young to understand, he said he was sorry – so it’s ok! Your father punches you? Or smacks you around?? Wait a minute – he said he was sorry afterwards and felt really bad…so *shush* it’s ok, he’s just being a “normal parent” !!!
WOW!
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kw took the words right out of my mouth…
The only thing I can add was that I kept having this quote from Scrubs going through my mind:
Dr. Cox: Every one of our parents does considerable emotional damage, and from what I’ve heard, it just might be the best part of being a parent. Now, if some guy ever does put a ring on your finger and you’re lucky enough to pop out a youngster, I’m sure you’ll understand. But for now, believe me when I tell you I wouldn’t care if this was the first time you ever met your daddy. Because, in reality… well, he could have done a much, much worse job.
Just thought I would share.
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To all the ladies with kids defending John Lennon: I bet if your creative and talented SO would do the same thing to *your* kid you would call the CPS and ask a judge to never let him/her see his/her son again unless s/he takes anger management classes AND agrees to supervised visitations. C’mon ladies, a little bit of a reality check here… Sean has all the right to say the truth about his father, whatever that truth is. And yes, John Lennon WAS a prick! It doesn’t make him a bad musician, just a poor excuse for a human being.
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Dead fathers can’t defend themselves.
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Lord of Thunder, I just want to defend my above comment. Perhaps using the phrase “normal parent” was a stretch, (but I am a normal parent of young children, so I’m sleepy all the time and sometimes can’t pick the best words) most normal parents don’t scream at their kids so loud that it hurts their hearing. But every normal parent I have known has had to fight that urge. I’m not saying that it wasn’t wrong, but it was an isolated incident. It’s not the same as “smacks you around” which you assert, which implies multiple times.
I think the truer indicator of him sucking as a dad was his treatment of his first son.
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It probably made Sean feel better to share this story with others. Celebrity or not, it is important to talk about things that are weighing inside of us. And, it’s not like his stating John had a temper is new news…any hardcore Beatles fan is already aware of that side of John. It’s all part of being human. We all have flaws.
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I am looking at a picture of a young John Lennon right now in my office and it brings me nothing but great joy. Being a true Beatles/John Lennon fan, his shortcomings are well known. Call him excentric, bi-polar, addictive personality, whatever. The public persona that we all know was funny, giving, socially aware and extremely creative.
I still get chills when I listen to certain John Lennon songs. He was ahead of his time and a true wordsmith. So try to get past his shortcomings as a parent (are any of us parents innocent of any wrongdoing in the parenting department?) and thank God, or whomever, for the artist that was John Lennon.
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“I don’t believe the wife-beating, but he did abandon Julianne when he met Yoko – hence the song “Hey Jude” written by Paul to Julianne.
A beautiful gift.”
huh? his first wife’s name was cynthia — his MOTHER’S name was julia, and it was she for whom julian was named. who is this julianne of which you speak? and i was always given to understand that paul wrote “hey jude” for john — “jude” being a form of that name — to encourage him to pursue his true love, wherever it took him.
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From Wiki:
“Hey Jude” is a song by the English rock band The Beatles that was recorded in 1968. Originally titled “Hey Jules”, the ballad was written by Paul McCartney—and credited to Lennon/McCartney—to comfort John Lennon’s son Julian during his parents’ divorce.
I believe the poster merely misspelled Julian.
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Appreciate your post KW. Also, I don’t understand how telling everyone what someone did to you is “healing”. Maybe telling close friends, family, or a therapist is but I don’t see how putting it on public record helps him feel any better, especially since they seem to have made amends.
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I’m the adult child of a genius bipolar/borderline mother who often flew into hours-long scary, screaming rages and later tearfully apologized, expecting me and my sister to forgive her instantly. Neither of us speaks to her anymore.
I can state from personal experience that publically acknowledging such a painful memory from his childhood will serve Sean well both in moving forward with what is inevitably a life-long healing process and also with learning how to be a patient, caring parent in his own right.
I can see how many parents have a hard time controlling their tempers around frustrating 4-year-olds, but my sister and I both take great care never to shout, intimidate or frighten our own kids, because we’d do anything to avoid repeating our mom’s mistakes.
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I think Sean Lennon has every right to talk about what happened, whether it does his father’s image good or not. It is his life, his pain, his memories. Period. Children don’t “owe” their parents anything just for being their parents. You have to earn your children’s love and respect and if you abuse them, don’t expect them to send flowers on your birthday. Or to shut up about the abuse only because that would be more convenient to you.
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I know that John Lennon was not perfect. Nobody is. I was not there witnessing this so I can’t really comment on it. John Lennon had his bad side just like we all do. We all have tempers too. I feel more sorry for Julian though.
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I agree with alot of what everyone has been saying and I agree on alot of views here! All in all, I’m greatful Sean divulged this about John. It may not be what we want to hear–but we never knew this before. Imagine if someone had a memory of someone you loved and admired that you never knew–wouldn’t you want them to tell you? good or bad, you’d still appreciate it. And I’m glad I know something new about John.
12-8-08…I LOVE YOU JOHN!
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PS–I hope you won’t judge what I’ve said. I’m a huge fan of John.
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John Lennon was a hypocrite. People who herald his work for the “peace movement” should reconsider.
Lennon was an abusive angry man who attempted to fool people with his constant jabber about peace. If he cared or knew anything about peace, he would have practiced it rather than mouth off about it.
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people think lennon was a peaceful kindly man like ghandi.
in fact he was a violent drug addict who abused his children in a very savage and heartless manner.
lets also look at how he completely wrote off his other son as well.
often the truth is absolutely obscured by the image people create in there heads of a public figure.
lady diana was a another prime example of this.
people connected with lennons music and well lennon was a very good song writer.
people should always remember that a artists work is not always reflective of his or hers actual mind.
saying he was a symbol of love and peace tho is completely backwards.
he was a human being just like you or i no greater no lesser and his actions such as booting his kid in the head during a seance for sure show a really messed up mind.
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KERRI:
September 23rd, 2008 at 5:14 pm I don’t believe the wife-beating,
—–
Er I hope you don’t consider yourself a big beatles fan because if you do you should be ashamed.
Does “Getting Better All The Time” ring a bell you idiot?
“I used to be cruel to my woman, I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loves” (speaking about cynthia his first wife) was one of the many times John Lennon admitted to beating woman. As a matter of fact in my beatles off the record interview book there is a quote somewhere where he simply says “I used to be a woman beater”. Doesn’t get anymore convincing than that.
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TO Orange Julius. Everyone may yell at their kids of course but most do not cause ear damage. For a parent to cause ear damage they would have to yell so loud that they don’t just frighten the child in a discipline way but frighten the child in a way that they think they are with an unsafe person. Everyone yells at their children sometimes but to yell to the point of ear damage, that person would have to yell to the point in which the child is not afraid in the typical since of discipline fear but in the since that this person is very dangerous and will not spank but reall y really injure them. Have some compassion for a child feeling unsafe and like they are around a dangerous person instead of over identifying with the John. BTW, Geronimo is an idiot who justifies hurting children.
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Happy Birthday John…. We love you!
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Sound like Karma got him shot.
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Hello!? John Lennon was a singer with a powerful voice and his son probably has musicians ears which are more sensitive. I’m not excusing anything, John could be a bastard. He was extraordinarily complex.
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I think a lot of people are vilifying John Lennon here more than necessary. I completely agree that he was no saint, and screaming at your kid to the point of causing ear damage is truly awful. But he also felt terrible about it. And he felt terrible about not having a better relationship with Julian. John wanted very much to be the “ideal” parent, but as someone here mentioned- and I agree- he was very likely Bipolar and for the most part I believe he really did not have it in him to control these sudden outbursts.
He was NOT a wife beater, though. Please, people, read his ex-wife’s book. In it, she explains that John did in fact slap her one time- when they were very young. It was horribly wrong, but he vowed he wouldn’t touch her again and he never did. Never has there been an account of him beating Yoko, and I assure you Yoko wouldn’t hide it. Very likely she’d use it for those Yoko hater who feel she was so awful as proof what she had to put up with. If John beat Yoko, it would be out there big time.
Also: I am SO SICK AND TIRED of these people saying Paul McCartney is some “surrogate” father to Julian. Bull. Julian himself has said he barely even sees Paul. He respects him for writing the song and thinking about him and his mom, but he doesn’t have that kind of relationship with him.
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I think he mentioned this because he feels bad about being the favored son. Maybe he thought that if he reveiled something sad about his childhood people will pay more attention to him and like him more.
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john is the king We all make mistakes.
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Having a 3 year old boy myself i can tell you that parenting a youngster is tough but yelling like that isnt just sad,it is a criminal act that if we mere mortals did may be arrested for,and with good cause.Child abuse is a huge problem and any sorry sob that would do that to a youngster (who at that age worships his dad) should be strung up by his nutsac.The kid is defenseless and may blame himself leading to all kinds of problems.I also love his music so am i supporting abusive behavior by buying his music or just supporting his estate.
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John made enough mistakes with Julian (who was born when John was only 22). But Sean was born on John’s 35th birthday. I would have thought John would have matured by that time. As for wife beating, I’ve read that he hit both wives, not to mention broke Bob Wooler’s rib and shoved Billy J. Kramer’s date on the occasion of Paul’s 21st birthday party; and then there was the infamous Troubador Club scene in 1973 where the waitress says it’s not the pain that hurt’s it’s finding out one of your idols is a real asshole. And don’t forget he can be heard calling Yoko a “cunt” in outtakes from the Double Fantasy session. I think the Stanley family had a lot of issues.
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