Scarlett Johansson is in a Sean Penn dong haze


I’m honestly not even mad at Scarlett Johansson. I have no illusions about what kind of girl she is, and I’m not saying that in a judgy slut-shamer way. ScarJo likes to get laid. ScarJo is fun. She’s a good-time girl who is single again after being married to a surly douche for several years. She’s entitled to go out there and date/screw whoever she wants, and I would find it more shocking if she wasn’t dating someone wildly inappropriate. So ScarJo’s two-month long liaison with Sean Penn hasn’t surprised me whatsoever. What does surprise me is that ScarJo doesn’t seem to be hitting it and quitting it. The girl actually seems to… like Sean. Well, she has a type, right? Surly douches are her biscuit Kryptonite. According to People Magazine (you have to read the subtext), ScarJo is in a dong haze:

It wasn’t an intimate, one-on-one dinner date, but Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn seemed very much a couple when they joined a small group of friends for dinner Saturday night in West Hollywood.

“They were smiles all night and seemed to have a great time together,” a source at the restaurant tells PEOPLE. “Scarlett and Sean sat very closely and exchanged flirty looks.”

Johansson, 26, and Penn, 50, enjoyed an Italian feast at Cecconi’s West Hollywood, where they shared pasta and fish dishes washed down with wine, a source tells PEOPLE.

Adds the source: “Scarlett acted very intrigued by him. She would smile, nod her head and just listen to his stories.”

The pair previously cozied up for a more intimate dinner earlier this month at Hollywood’s Chateau Marmont, the hotel where the actress has been staying while filming We Bought a Zoo with Matt Damon.

Rumors about the two being a couple first swirled in January, just a month after the actress’s December split from her husband, Ryan Reynolds.

Talk of a budding romance heated up when the two took a short and sweet getaway to Mexico at the beginning of January.

In February, a rep for Johansson told PEOPLE the pair are “nothing more, nothing less” than friends.

[From People]

“Scarlett acted very intrigued by him. She would smile, nod her head and just listen to his stories.” UGH. As I said before, if it’s just sex, I’m cool with that. I would imagine that for all of his douchey qualities, Sean Penn is probably pretty good in bed. But now it seems more and more like ScarJo is actually falling for him. Like, she’s so dumb that she thinks Sean is all “deep” and “brilliant” and crap. Girl, there are other dongs out there.

Oh, and X17 has photos of ScarJo sitting in Sean’s lap in the backseat of the car as they left the restaurant. You know ScarJo probably wasn’t wearing panties, right? Ugh. Gross.



Photos courtesy of WENN.

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48 Responses to “Scarlett Johansson is in a Sean Penn dong haze”

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  1. Cherry Rose says:

    Blech. Not the best thing to read first thing in the morning. >.<

    She could do so much better though.

  2. lio says:

    He should write her a movie. Intense and passionate with a sad ending.

  3. brin says:

    Yeah, that is definitely TMI first thing in the AM.

  4. Nancy says:

    Ugh I can’t stand her I think her face looks like a pig!

  5. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    ewwww.. sean penn dong. just ewwww..

    he just looks like he smells

  6. Quest says:

    I will pass on this story, since there is nothing good I would say to this (as they say I have nothing good to say so I will STFU)

  7. Jenna says:

    Tying Madonna to a chair and terrorizing and beating her goes beyond just “douchey”

  8. maybe if Sean Penn knocks ScarJo up we’ll have to recycle the 80s joke that she’s pregnant because “her Penn leaked” ;)

  9. just a patsy says:

    I guess Sean Penn is no longer living full time in Haiti. Does this mean he will stop with his ridiculous diatribes?

    Sean, its easy for you to drop everything and move to a foreign locale for a few months. You do that anyway, professionally. The rest of us can’t just up and leave our jobs, because we don’t make millions for a few months of playing make believe.

    He is such a douche. No, douche doesn’t even cover it. Stop trying to school all of us on humanitarianism. He’s just a self-righteous prick, and if Scarlett buys his act then she is just as far up her own ass, as Sean is up his own.

  10. dread pirate cuervo says:

    ScarJo is no Princess Buttercup. Just saying.

  11. gg says:

    Watch – she’s gonna dye her hair dark now.

  12. JRD says:

    My theory is that Scarlett is just using Sean to get to his BFF Eddie Vedder…..I know I would….

  13. Micaela says:

    Ranie, If you read this, can you
    please notify me thru a message from you.

    I will call you with my e-mail add. I heard
    something about Sandra and Ryan and would
    like to run it by you.

    You come across like you have an “insight” into something that is going on.

  14. dread pirate cuervo says:

    JRD: Amen to that! If Eddie Vedder’s voice was the only thing I could hear for the rest of my life, I’d be a happy pirate.

  15. arock says:

    yes, hes really put himself out there for worthwhile causes. yes, hes done some great work both behind and infront of the camera. yes, hes a teen heart throb made good and continues do respectable work.

    however, as a female, you can look at him and know exactly what his junx smells like. (and if your wondering- its Haiti humid and sticky down there with a side of lady bacon…)

  16. Micaela says:

    Scarjo’s hormones are extremenly active and apparently the old fart is satisfying her. She is looking out for number one as self-centered as she is.

    The girl is just a big fraud.
    She is a hipocrate by saying she hates the media, she exposes herself to the media. That, she helps people in need, children, anything to make people believe that she is this “caring person”. The only person she cares about is Scarlett. She doesn’t even care about how she comes across to us, the movie goers.

  17. Solveig says:

    So this is true…? Ewww! :|
    I was going to drink a cup of tea, but after reading this story and the comments above I think that the sole idea of eating would make me puke. I feel so disgusted.
    What do women find attractive in this guy?! And I’m even a fan of Penn (as an actor of course).

  18. dorothy says:

    I guess every girl needs at least one gross bad guy in their life at some point.

  19. Jayna says:

    A much older man/bad boy is a great experience. Do it while you’re young and have fun, but no marriage, Scarjo.

  20. BrandyMc says:

    How could you go from Ryan Reynolds(YUM) to Sean Penn(ew)…..Just don’t make sense.

  21. mln76 says:

    Well he is a step up from Axel Rose but seriously gross. I am still holding out hope that she’ll wake up out of the daze and move onto the next douche.

  22. beth says:

    hawwwwtttt. i wish someone caught them on a sex tape and leaked it here, it wouldve benn tthe hawwwwwwwwtest thing since hollywood hookup immemorial. excepting for antonio banderas n melanie griffith, there was a tim i wouldve done anything to tade places with mel, sweertheart though she is-and then there was that rumour of scarlett with benicio in that lift –
    but these two, yea, one little red riding hood with snow white hair and fully developed bosoms, and one cantantakerous, chameleonlike wolf you never knew if he was going this way or that…

  23. crazydaisy says:

    god what’s wrong with me? i love sean penn. go scarlett, i say.

  24. mln76 says:

    @CC I don’t think it’s her. I think it may be Biel or Aniston (all the Friends references)

  25. guesty says:

    It’ll all be over soon! Lol. But seriously if she wants to bone around with him for awhile good for her.

  26. lrm says:

    That BI is not aniston-she has friends, and doesn’t seem to hang out with relatives much.
    Scar Jo is the perfect fit for that BI-besides heigel.
    But i’d give it to scar jo first.
    She’s the only one I can think of.
    I never thought kate hudson-surprised lainey said it’s not her. kate H has lots of friends-sure she likes guys-but she’s genuinely nice. She’s the type who would tell someone they looked ‘cute’ even if she didnt think so. I’m not a huge fan, but she does seem like a nice person.

    scar jo-wow-what can I say?
    she looks drugged in these photos….
    and all i can think of with that less than 24 hour mexico trip, is she and sean doing line after line and having sex non-stop.

    blek. not a visual i want.

    don’t know who that BI is, though….
    could def. be scar jo.

  27. munchies says:

    crazydaisy, i will advise scarjo same..
    sean is much older on this case but senior guys are more attentive and no drama. as long as the man has no baggage, clean, fit, kind and you like him back, go for it scarjo..

  28. mln76 says:

    @munchies Sean Penn has more baggage than a 747 and drama too going back 2 decades.

  29. Anti-icon says:

    What little sluts these two are. I hope my girl Robin Wright (gorgeous, talented, made a misjudge in marriage, hey don’t we all?) is unfazed by this flagrant and unclassy display to stay relevant…..that’s what this pairing screams.

  30. Micaela says:

    What if she is just looking for love
    and she could not find it with Ryan Reynolds. She then be-friends SP and of course, he has more experience seducing women and he shows her a lot of love and attention. He may be a good lover, too. Of course, since she is hungry for love, she falls for the old man. If this is the case, she will fall in love with the old fart. Eventually, he will drop her because she appears to be vey high maintenance.

  31. Cha Cha Loca says:

    He must be god like in bed cuz his face makes my no-no hole want to cry.

  32. radmila says:

    Ugh…Penn..most of the time he just looks homeless.

  33. Harley says:

    “Surly douches are her biscuit Kryptonite.” Ha!

    Don’t we all have some “biscuit Kryptonite”? At least I know I did in my 20′s. :)

    For the record, can’t stand either of them.

  34. Micaela says:

    He must be God like, like you mentioned, the best she has ever had.
    Forget what he smells like, the hair, the yukkie mouth, the age, if she is getting the best she has ever had.
    Sometimes, young guys have such egos that they forget how to really please a woman. It’s all about themselves. The old man must already know what makes her explode and he is doing it and she is wanting more and more! She is also very vulnerable (because of the divorce)
    and that would also contribute to her state of mind.

  35. EdithP says:

    I think they are both gross.

  36. Chris says:

    Good on you Sean. You’re killing them. :)

  37. Becky says:

    I agree with Kaiser. As much as I do not find Sean Penn attractive, hooking up with him seems to fit with what I’ve read about ScarJo. What’s gross to me is the whole “you’re so wise and brilliant-share your knowledege with me” vibe that the People article conveyed. Sean Penn must be loving this. He’s got a hot twenty-something who’s f-ing him and apparently hanging on his every word. Gross.

  38. Mary says:

    Kids don’t be jealous, its freakin hotsee totsee… he’s 50 she 26 , experience and youth.. hot damn !! let them have their fun. Let them enjoy the passion of living. So folks chill out with the negativity… grow up and don’t be hater.
    You keep doing what you’re doing Scarlet and Sean, screw the bullcrap.

  39. mia says:

    The bottom line is Scarlett isn’t a great actress. She is okay when she has a really good cast to make her look good such as Colin Firth and others in The Pearl Earring. The Sean interest is her looking for a job with fringe benefits.

  40. me says:

    Surly douche? Ryan Reynolds? Perhaps the moron who wrote this post doesn’t know that Ryan is one of the funniest, good natured and positive people in Hollywood. If anyone is a surly douche, it’s Sean Penn, the patron saint of humanity. You know, the guy who punches out photographers and never has anything nice to say unless it involves some third-world country and his stupid little boat he pretends to save people with.

  41. Crash2GO2 says:

    I was thinking Lainey’s blind might be about Canalis.

  42. Kelly says:

    I think she’s hot, not so much er, him. Give her a break, she’s young and horny and trying super hard to be cool. We were all there once.

    That’s totally a toupee btw. SHAVE IT, SEAN.

  43. mln76 says:

    @CC my bad it seems you were right Lainey hinted pretty heavily that the blind is ScarJo.