Ashley Judd on TV: I made a decision to be abstinent from all press about the book

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Ashley Judd was on the Today Show this morning promoting her new memoir, All That is Bitter and Sweet. We covered some advance details yesterday, as told by The National Enquirer. According to the Enquirer, Ashley writes that she was groped by a stranger as a child, raped as a teen, and came up with “recovered memories” in therapy that she had been molested by a family member during childhood and had suppressed it. Now I get that she would be upset that the press is taking the most horrific parts of her past and sensationalizing them out of the context of her life story. Still, she came across as very haughty right off the bat. She redeemed herself a little toward the end though.

Let me just first separate my opinion of Ashley as a person from the fact that she’s revealing the terrible things she went through. I respect that she’s sharing her experiences and trying to lift the stigma from sexual abuse. That must take a lot of courage. That doesn’t mean I find her in any way likable though. After seeing that interview, I’m inclined to believe all the diva stories I’ve heard about her.

Here’s what she said to start, and it made my mouth hang open. Like, how arrogant can she be? She was on the Today Show promoting her book and claiming at the same time that she wasn’t doing press for it. She didn’t even add “except for this interview.” She also used a lot of big words that sounded like nonsense. She’s like the white female version of those prison dudes on In Living Color. She immediately launched into this diatribe which didn’t make much sense at first. I got it after a while but it was so pretentious.

I made a decision actually to be completely abstinent from all press about the book, because I’m really powerless of what the media does with it. And I started writing diaries in order to commemorate the sacred narratives with which I was being entrusted when I began visiting brothels and slums and forcibly displaced person’s camps and I wanted to share with the world the stories that, however improbably, were being entrusted to me. And then I also needed to write to process because I was being so staggered by the realities with which the majority of the people with whom we share our fragile planet live. And I didn’t know where to put it, like I didn’t have place in my brain or in my heart so I started putting it on the page.

Then I also wanted to talk about the effective and very inexpensive grassroots solutions that I was seeing. So all of a sudden 13 countries later and 650 pages of diaries there was a book in there, but I was really encouraged by people I trust to include some of my own story, because why I love this work really baffled people, so eventually I put it in there.

Then like a minute and a half later Meredith Viera finally got a word in edgewise to ask Ashley about some of the revelations in her book. Meredith asked her why she included the difficult parts of her childhood.

Ashley said that she had a good relationship with her parents now and that “the kinds of things that happened to me are very typical and standard and indicative of a family system that doesn’t work very well.” She said she recovered in 2006 through the help of therapy (her therapy was AA recovery based) but it was like she was lecturing Meredith. She was so haughty about it. She used a bunch of very pat AA explanations, like she was “sick and tired of being sick and tired” and she was “powerless over my childhood,” her life was “unmanageable.” Her issue was being in an alcoholic family, not being an alcoholic specifically, but whatever. I’m sorry she went through all this, but there’s no excuse for being so insufferable.

Toward the end Ashley started crying when she talked about her charity work. It was like she thought she was just this amazing person who was changing so many lives. “I happen to really love the God of my understanding… I was taking a walk and having a talk with God going ‘This is absolutely amazing that I, who very much played the lost child in this family system, would have the opportunity to travel all over the world and sit with and hold and love and encourage people who are pretty lost. And our global family system is absolutely remarkable. While the conditions in which I was raised were very different, I identify…. That’s what matters.”

Good for Ashley for doing charity work. It just seemed like she was patting herself on the back the whole time. At the end she answered a question about being molested as a child, and her answer was surprisingly to-the-point and very well put. I like what she said here but it doesn’t erase all the crap she spouted up until this point.

It’s not that I repressed, it’s that I didn’t know… I was groomed. They put their shame on me. I’ve given those SOBs back their shame.”

If that’s the takeaway from this interview and her book then she’s doing a very good thing. It’s been a long time, if ever, since I’ve seen an interview with someone so pretentious though.

You can read an excerpt from Ashley’s book on MSNBC.com. I’ll be honest – I just skimmed it. I’ve had about all I can take today of this woman.

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113 Responses to “Ashley Judd on TV: I made a decision to be abstinent from all press about the book”

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  1. EdithP says:

    She really said “abstinent”? How very odd.

  2. Devon says:

    Her face looks jacked. I’m thinking that blind item might be about her.

    http://blindgossip.com/?p=27544#more-27544

  3. Sassy says:

    Umm, can we talk about her facelift?

  4. Celebitchy says:

    Yes her face looks jacked! I didn’t even get to that and I meant to mention it. ha!

  5. Brooke says:

    Agreed with Devon. She looks crazy from bad work and THAT is why she wants to duck out of the press obligations – the surgery isn’t settled and looks awful.

  6. Deeta says:

    I dont care much about her… but I dont think she came through so unlikable during the interview. Yes, it is odd to be giving an interview while at the same time saying I am not talking to the press. But she probably meant more tabloids like People and Star magazine.

    I read the excerpt, and it is about her family and their dysfuntional background. In general, they are all very messed up, and in turns they have come out with their own set of dirty laundry. I guess it was Ashley’s turn.

  7. dorothy says:

    Funny that the book is coming out just when her mom and sisters new reality show starts.

  8. irishserra says:

    She sounds very bitter, but honestly in some ways I can see myself as similar. I also grew up in a very dysfunctional family wherein I felt that my place held very little value. I also have a very pragmatic sister very much like Winona, who requires drama and attention in order to feel validated; therefore, my family would (and still does) devote all attention and energy to her chaotic marriage and weight issues and inability to parent, etc. To cope, I ended up working so hard to separate myself from my family in my speech and mannerisms, as well as my lifestyle because I just found it too painful to be associated with such dysfunction.

    In 1995 I was raped by a man whom I had just met and ended up becoming pregnant. My family had little room or energy to help me deal with it because of the stress of my sister and her behavior, and so they just stated that they didn’t believe me. I had my daughter, raised her and ended up marrying a truly wonderful man later on in life, but there is still bitterness in me with regard to my relatives.

    I do believe Ashley Judd comes across as pompous, but in the back of my head, I always wondered if she just tried so hard to create a different persona from those she was around for long and ended up overshooting her goal, because I feel like I might have done the same, albeit unintentionally.

    To this day, I somewhat acknowledge my relatives as family, but I am much more comfortable with family of my own choosing, and I really try to create my own fate. I have no drama in my life, work very hard for what I want and surround myself with intelligent and compassionate people, which seems to render me pompous in my relatives’ eyes.

  9. Willow says:

    I like when she says “I’ve given those SOBs’ back their shame”…very empowering. And, she takes responsibility for her book being from her perspective, allowing that others in her family may have different views. So she uses educated words…why fault her? Should she “dumb” herself down? Finally, we have a female who’s not smacking gum, “ummmm”ing, and “well, like” all through the interview; yet, she’s lacking. Well, welcome to non-perfection. It exists…how about making some room for the positives she presents.

  10. dread pirate cuervo says:

    I fully admit AA gave me a spirituality that 15 years of Catholic school did not & I talk about it frequently. With people who are like-minded. Most people don’t want to hear your spiritual crap. Also, she most likely went to Al Anon, not AA, which came from same roots, but is different. One of the first jokes I heard in AA was “How many Al Anons does it take to change a light bulb?” “None, b/c they’ll tell it to go fuck itself.” No offense meant to anyone who’s been helped by Al Anon. Us alcoholics make other people suffer. Alot.

    I think my issue is that I don’t really care about her or her issues & find her annoying. I also think she’s going to go off the deep end any time now b/c you know the crazy runs deep in that family.

  11. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    First – WTF?

    Second – Jump off the high horse lady, you are B actress, dont care if you THINK you are smart.

    Third – What did you do to THAT face????

  12. NoFrank says:

    It’s hard to balance one’s instinct to be sympathetic to someone who is opening up about a history of abuse, with the equally fervent instinct to assume an Inigo Montoya accent and say “I do not think those words mean what you think they mean.”

  13. Jill says:

    I thought the interview was normal and good. She is very responsible in it. Plus, I think she looks the same as always – soft and normal. Not emaciated like some of those celebs holding onto some illusion of prettiness….

  14. mln76 says:

    Obviously Ashley Judd is not an easy woman to deal with. I absolutely believe the Lainey Blind and the other rumors I have heard about her. But in this one instance where she is revealing some of the worst things to ever happen to her I think she deserves some empathy or if someone isn’t capable of empathy just ignore her…The comments on yesterday’s post were downright horrifying.

  15. irishserra says:

    I also agree that the blind item is about Ashley. Her face does look very… off.

  16. curmudgeon says:

    The Sacred Narratives? The Sacred Narratives? Sorry nothings changed. I never called her a liar I just called her ridiculous. I once heard her call her white Christmas in Scotland a “Benediction”
    What the hell does it snow holy water in Scotland? AAhhg!!!

  17. Sassy says:

    I guess my blogger name has been jacked…I’ll find another, I suppose.

  18. Moe says:

    If she made a decision to be abstinent from all press about the book, then why is she doing press about the book!?!?

  19. Diane Meadows says:

    I think she came across as a survivor who has learned to validate herself, be confident in herself and advocate for others. Even she admitted that she had to find a higher power than herself which, to me, means she pulled her head out of herself and onto a project that translated to helping others on a global scale. Good for her to be able to have the ability to help so many and to call attention to the issues that she feels strongly about and, truth be told, that we should all feel strongly about. Our society is regressing when it should be progressing. If Ashley is willing to the posterchild for that kind of work, more power to her. I respect that.

    • polk8dot says:

      @ Diane Meadows:
      ‘Good for her to be able to have the ability to help so many and to call attention to the issues that she feels strongly about and, truth be told, that we should all feel strongly about. Our society is regressing when it should be progressing. If Ashley is willing to the posterchild for that kind of work..’
      My problem with her is that she seems to be EXTREMELY SELF-SERVING in anything she says or does. Did you ever hear about her charity work before? Did you ever know of her ‘sacred narratives’ collection? Did you ever TRULY hear her try and bring attention to important issues?
      The only times I ever heard about her ‘charity work’, or her ‘global support for needy people’ was as part of a promotional tout for some or other of her movies, or in this case book. I mean, there are never articles about her charity work, missions to third world countries etc. – these are mentioned only when she talks about herself, usually when trying to get us to buy something from her.
      I guess that is my biggest issue with her – her self promotion is so vast yet so veiled, that it overshadows any and all spotlight she might be able to shine on important issues.
      And it does not help that she comes across as sooooooo stuck up, sooooooo much better than everyone else in her own mind. I bet she considers herself half-saint, at least, and the people who meet her ‘in her work’ as the truly blessed and lucky ones to be granted a moment in her presence.
      It would be so much easier to accept her if she did not try so hard to show and prove to us all that she is sooooo much better. I mean, who talks like that: ‘the realities with which the majority of the people with whom we share our fragile planet live’ ? Seriously? WTF? So selfsatissfied, so overblown, so in love with a sound of her own voice. I feel like she expects us all to kiss her feet and venerate the ground she walked on.
      Ashley Judd, already a legend – in her own mind, naturally.

  20. mia girl says:

    @NoFrank
    Love you for your comment!

  21. Marjalane says:

    I’ll always remember the quote she gave (I believe) In Style magazine about being a “Truth Whore”. All I could think was, “Well, she’s half right”.

    I think if she were really sincere about “helping” others with her story, she might take her nose out of her own ass for a minute, and stop presuming that she’s the smartest one in the room.

  22. Granger says:

    I think she’s a very intelligent, articulate woman — and let’s face it, intelligent, articulate women scare the crap out of some people. I for one choose to appreciate and respect women who know how to form a sentence without saying “like” or “ummm” every four words. For pete’s sake, we hear enough women who sound (sometimes on purpose) like total idiots in interviews. Let’s give credit where it’s due.

    • polk8dot says:

      There is a huge difference betweeen speaking in an articulate manner, sounding like an intelligent and educated person – and speaking like a stuck up A-hole who seemingly intentionally searches out words that would make her sound so much smarter than the listener. Whenever I hear her speak, it sounds like she wrote up an essay, used the thesaurus to replace all ‘regular’ words with the ‘haughty sounding ones’, and then memorized it and is using it by pieces to impress the ‘unwashed masses who do not get to hear such erudition, such intelligence enough’. It’s like she thinks that just via her speech patterns she is bettering the world. Idiot.

  23. original kate says:

    ashley’s interviews are always chock full of malapropisms, no surprise there. she’s not my favorite person but i give her credit for speaking up about her rape/abuse. i think she is trying to heal from some very bad things in her life and healing from any kind of trauma is usually messy. i think she’s in the messy stage at the moment.

  24. Elizabeth says:

    I think I would like to take a look at her book. I too grew up in a dysfunctional family and was the “lost/ invisible” child. If I was very perfect and very quite, I might get someone to notice me. I suffered through undiagnosed depression for most of my life. Things are much better now but I can understand why she comes on as a bitch. Its a way to protect yourself from getting hurt further – even though its a self-defeating behaviour that still hurts you in the end.

  25. Someone Else says:

    “To this day, I somewhat acknowledge my relatives as family, but I am much more comfortable with family of my own choosing, and I really try to create my own fate. I have no drama in my life, work very hard for what I want and surround myself with intelligent and compassionate people, which seems to render me pompous in my relatives’ eyes. ”

    You & me both, sister.

    I’ve come to believe happiness is a choice, and that family is defined by those who show you respect and find happiness in your joy. Blood doesn’t guarantee that, unfortunately.

  26. EdithP says:

    I’m not scared or intimidated in the least. Oh, she can put a sentence together, but she is using words that don’t mean what she thinks they mean.

    It’s a terrible thing she went through, I agree, and no one should have to go suffer like that.

  27. gloaming says:

    @ DenG
    Thanks for the laugh!

  28. Jayna says:

    Her face looks like her face, just a little older, where there’s more skin over her eyes, and she has a little more weight on than years ago. Still a beautiful woman. She is very intelligent, but I have always hated the way she tries to communicate, like an average word isn’t good enough. She started off that way in the interview, kind of convoluted, but came back down to earth and I appreciated the interview. I thought this book was just about her and she was cashing in on a tell all,but it really is about her experiences with the charity she works with and women’s stories that have been abused all over the world. I like Ashley, a woman of substance, compared to the usual stories we have on gossip sites.

  29. Tuatara says:

    When she says she is completely “abstinent” from the press, does that mean what she thinks it means? I have been staring at that word for a while now and I still can’t really figure it out.

    I’m with NoFrank!

  30. garvels says:

    I think she is a ridiculous, annoying, self indulgent Beotch……and I am being nice.

  31. sapphire says:

    “Articulate” is the last term I would use with her. And I am not at all convinced her book is intended to benefit others. What ever her work is for charity, that’s another story. You can read a dozen different stories regarding celebrities who have survived or claimed to survive various forms of abuse.

    What I am totally not willing to do is project my own experiences, motivations, or outcomes on her. What may have happened to anyone in this discussion or myself isn’t her story. And her interview is filled with buzz words, learned phrases and other babble.

    Some people have crappy or even horrendous childhoods and work through it. They are functional and even *gasp* free of it. Some are perpetual victims. Some die of it or repeat the cycle. I am not questioning her credibility although she owns up to it being from her perspective, just the motivation.

  32. DiannSteph says:

    I think Ashley looks the same. I also think she’s intelligent, but I can def. see how others feel she comes across haughty. She does LOL.

    That said, it’s still refreshing to see an actress that can talk without smacking gun, acting girlish ala Nicole Kidman, and able to have a serious intelligent convo, no?

  33. Susan says:

    “Abstinent” is used in OA, like ‘sober’ is used in AA. If someone had been involved in a 12 step program for an eating disorder, that would definitely be an almost unconscious part of their vocabulary…. coincidental, no?

  34. ctkat1 says:

    Talking about her charity work:
    I’m going to google search for a pretty amazing first-hand account of one of her charity trips to Africa- a 2005 trip sponsored by YouthAIDS.

    She acted like a total, diva, Hollywood crazy bitch. It was insane.

    http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/1665919/posts

  35. MikeyAngel says:

    @irishserra I am sorry to hear about your past. God bless you for having the strength and courage to make your life yours and be happy!

  36. Yasmine says:

    Holy shit, she sounds like a grad student. That diatribe reads like a bad masters thesis. Would you agree grad student eating hot pockets? Your comments are usually pretty funny!

  37. KattyKat says:

    She has always come across as intelligent but she tends to hit one over the head with her education. Yes, Ashley, you went to college, so did I and so did my friends, so did most people on this board over 22, let’s move on.

    Her claim to fame is her beauty and her female relatives, not her talent. She was never a very good actress nor was she a popular one. She never worked much. She’s always looked a lot like the darker version of her mom who was also once very beautiful and also a victim of bad plastic surgery.

    I am sorry she was molested but that is a big reason to do press for this book. What is the point of someone famous writing a book about her experiences (and those of other women across the world who have it worse) if SHE DOESN’T PROMOTE IT. How many of the people here would be aware of this book had Cele|bitchy not posted this or had the media not latched on to her being molested.

    As a woman, I want to hear from her since she went out of her way to write this book. It’s not like I’m going to buy it but I’m more likely to if I know about it. She should have said “I wasn’t planning to do press for this book but circumstances dictated that I do, due to X, Y and Z” You can change your mind without coming across as a total hypocrite/pretentious idiot.

  38. suki says:

    i love Merideth’s intro, which was clearly written by Ashley:

    “Critically acclaimed for her work on stage and screen, she is also a dedicated humanitarian, devoted activist and scholar”

    Scholar? How did Merrideth kick that out with a straight face?

  39. Bill Hicks is God says:

    Let’s see, you express repressed memory of sexual abuse, write a memoir about it, talk about about – because there are other women who can relate because they’ve been there – and then say you won’t talk about it? Nice little waltz you’ve got going on there.

    Ho, sit down.

    What a slap in the face to victimized women (“buy my book or we won’t relate”) and a phenomenally shitty thing for you to do.

    Know what else? Now I don’t believe you.

    • polk8dot says:

      @ ‘Know what else? Now I don’t believe you.’
      Agreed!
      The whole way she talks about it; the way she almost deflects blame for false accusations by claiming ‘repressed memories brought out by sleep hypnosis’; the forethought to beforehand deny and defuse any claims of lies, brought forth by family members, via qualifiers like ‘this is NOT NECESSARILY ACCURATE as to what happened. But it is what FEELS ACCURATE to me’…. WTF? To me, all this put together, enjoined by her total, persistent and perpetual self-centeredness, self-satissfaction and self-agrandizement lead to a single conclusion – I do not buy her ‘story’ for a second!
      As to why she would be making it up? Who knows? People, women, girls jealous of their mothers, girls marginalized by and hateful of their siblings – all kinds of ‘syndromes’ are possible. I do not really care what her reason might be, but I do believe that all this sh1T is just that, sh!t having nothing to do with reality.

  40. Jen says:

    I cannot STAND this stupid, self-indulgent, faux-intellectual TWAT.

  41. JuJuBee says:

    A serious message is sadly being delivered by an insufferable person. Most people are not intimidated by an articulate and intelligent woman. The biggest turn off is those that are haughty about it. Who the f**k wants to be spoken down to? I am in awe of the smarts of some of my women friends, but those women also happen to be warm, kind and generous. This self-righteous heifer needs to learn some humility.

  42. wunderkindt says:

    ‘Abstinent’ is an odd word choice given the issue.

  43. DiannSteph says:

    She sounds like a grad student because she is. ;)

    She’s currently or already completed Harvard’s Graduate one-year master’s program in public administration at the Kennedy School.

  44. curmudgeon says:

    See? It isn’t that she’s a liar. Its not that she deserves abuse. Almost everyone in this conversation has experienced it. Myself included. It isn’t that it is not admirable to help victims.
    ITS JUST THAT SHE PISSES PEOPLE OFF.
    She just does. God I am so sorry. Thought I was over my AJ issues. They must have been repressed until I heard her speak again. Must go to meeting. Perhaps write the
    “Sacrad Narratives” I have officially banned myself from this conversation.

  45. nicole says:

    She never said she wasn’t talking to the press. She said she was “abstinent” to what the media would write or say about the book. Meaning, she isn’t going to read reviews, etc. All her jib jab and big words made that point get lost in the shuffle.

  46. EdithP says:

    Scholar?! She went to UK, for crying out loud, not Harvard. (I went to a state school, too.)

    ETA: I stand corrected, she did go to Harvard.

  47. Bill Hicks is God says:

    @DiannSteph: You know what though, that’s saying absolutely nothing redeeming because academics are some of the most socially-remedial, low emotional IQ people walking around.

  48. Bill Hicks is God says:

    And I agree, “abstinent” is a really odd choice of wording given the subject matter.

  49. fabgrrl says:

    “I think she’s a very intelligent, articulate woman — and let’s face it, intelligent, articulate women scare the crap out of some people.”

    Oh, puh-lease! I cringe every time I hear something like that. Life is hard because everyone else is intimidated by or jealous of her, right? I meet intelligent, articulate, educated, successful women EVERY DAY. They don’t feel the need to tell everyone how special they are. Of course there is lots of sexism out there, from men AND women, but I hardly think Ashley Judd suffers for it.

  50. TXCinderella says:

    She does come across as smug in her interviews, but I applaud her for having the guts to bring this to the surface and deal with it. Maybe she feels that if she tells her story, it might help others. I’m sure it took alot of courage for her to come out publicly and tell her story.

  51. Violet says:

    I do not get all the vitriol directed at ashley judd. She comes across as thoughtful and sweet to me. and i really don’t see the “jacked face” thing either. It seems a lot like people don’t like her and just want to see something in her interview that just isn’t there.

  52. Runs with Scissors says:

    @irishserra “To cope, I ended up working so hard to separate myself from my family in my speech and mannerisms, as well as my lifestyle because I just found it too painful to be associated with such dysfunction.”

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I completely agree with your take on her. She seems like she’s trying to distance herself and find different ways to cope and protect herself.

    @Willow:”So she uses educated words…why fault her? Should she “dumb” herself down? Finally, we have a female who’s not smacking gum, “ummmm”ing, and “well, like” all through the interview; yet, she’s lacking. Well, welcome to non-perfection. It exists…how about making some room for the positives she presents.”

    Awesome comments.

    @DianneSteph:”She sounds like a grad student because she is.

    She’s currently or already completed Harvard’s Graduate one-year master’s program in public administration at the Kennedy School.”

    We should be applauding her for DOING something about her past. Instead, let’s attack her because she speaks differently than we do.
    Part of healing is stripping down everything, including the words we use and the ways we describe things.

    It doesn’t make her condescending, it makes insecure people feel threatened. She’s finding her way, I’m not going to bash her for it.

  53. sunseeker says:

    Why can the Ashley Judds and Halle Berry’s of this world not just get up and get on with their lives. Lots of people have depressing childhoods and don’t shout about it all over the newspaper. I sympathise, but get help and get on with your life.

  54. Dana M says:

    I didnt come away with Ashley being pretentious in the interview. I am not an Ashley fan myself, nor am I trying to defend her, but she didn’t seem haughty at all IMO.

    She obviously went through hell during her childhood, so it’s easy to see that she is perhaps an anxious and insecure individual. Its probably safe to safe she may have mental health issuses due to her experiences, so kuddos to her for owning it and trying to get help. She seems like she expressed herself well and did a fine job communicating without breaking down, although I think she cried because she heard her mother’s comment….Not anything to do with her charity work. I bet her mother feels like total crap for not being present and taking better care of her as a child. Ashley was trying to come across as a strong person. Probably a defense mechanism. It takes a lot of courage to go public and talk about rape. So I hope she finds closure with this book. To me she did sound a bit rehearsed, this can be a hard subject to talk about.

  55. Leek says:

    She’s a female douchebag. That should make her happy though since I’m exercising
    my opinion in a gender equality sort of way.

    Ashley, STFU and make the same movie. Again.

  56. Kloops says:

    Firstly, abuse is terrible and her mother an egomaniac so I feel compassion toward her in that regard. Secondly, she’s a pretentious twit who tries too hard. It’s all smoke and mirrors, pseudo-academic speak, coupled with self help gibberish.. True intellectuals do not need to express themselves in this way. She’s embarrassing herself, but she’s so self absorbed I’m sure she’s oblivious.

    And she has overdone the Botox. Enough already. It doesn’t make you look better. It’s embarrassing.

  57. Kira says:

    I have a hard time with her. On one hand, I do believe her story as I don’t think she’s a famewhore and she has nothing to gain by publicizing sexual abuse. On the other hand, in this interveiw and in ctkat’s link, she seems like such a spoiled brat. Sorry for the abuse, but you need to go to Assholes Annonymous and get some help for your nasty attitude. What–still not supportive enough?

  58. truetalk says:

    @irishserra, thank u 4 sharing your story.

  59. IAM says:

    @ctkat1 WOW..reading that was insane!

  60. Juu says:

    I didn’t watch this interview but by the way you put it she sounds rather defensive.

  61. GradStudentEatingHotPockets says:

    @Yasmine
    The professor that reads our theses would probably have a fucking fit if we used buzz words haha. Everyone is pretty terrified of him.

    But hey, not every grad student can be as awesome as ME :) haha just kidding. We generally get a bad rap for being complete, pretentious asshats- but that’s due to a combination of not sleeping and having an awful diet made of Ramen and Hotpockets.

    Normally when I talk to “lay people” about my thesis, I don’t use huge words (or buzz words) because 1. it takes too much energy for me to formulate complete sentences and 2. people don’t care what fancy words I know, they just want to know what I do.

    …and I have to say it doesn’t sound EXACTLY like a grad student….but pretty damn close.

    Also, if you didn’t look at the Taylor Swift, Jake G AMC post…I’ve decided to become a professional tambourine player instead of a grad student. HA!

  62. Catherine says:

    I admire all the charity work she does. A good way to use her celebrity.

  63. Bee says:

    I remember when Matthew McConaughey said in an interview that he practically needed to carry a thesaurus with him so he could keep up with Ashley Judd when they were dating, due to her extensive vocabulary. Lol! She’s obviously very intelligent but also more than likely incredibly hard to deal with.

  64. lucy2 says:

    I saw part of this interview this morning. I give her a lot of credit for speaking about this publicly and trying to help others by doing so, and certainly feel bad for her that she went through so much.
    But I found the way she spoke to be very odd – it was like a collection of recovery phrases and key words, and sounded oddly rehearsed. It seemed less like a discussion and more like a speech she had written and re-written to the point where the original ideas were overshadowed by the language. She may be very intelligent and that’s great she’s pursued an education, but I felt like she was trying to prove something, rather than just letting her intelligence speak for itself. Probably part of how she deals with everything, I’d guess, but a little odd to listen to.

    She does look a little different, but I still think she’s very pretty. Never really a fan of her as an actress though.

  65. maggiegrace says:

    The AAspeak (or AlAnon or whathave you)was over the top. there’s nothing more insufferable than the sanctimoniousness of someone in recovery.

  66. truthzbetta says:

    I think she deserves respect and sympathy, but why gossip if you’re not going to contradict yourself so I’ll do that now.

    Dating Matthew McConaghey she gave the grown man a dictionary and I too shuddered. Who does she think she is?

    So I believe her, I am happy she doesn’t dumb herself down, but the brain surgeon act is too much. She is not and never has been a brain surgeon. Going to Harvard/Yale/Princeton after you’re famous is quite Brooke Shields, not Shields and Gigot. It’s too bad she does seem to have a superior attitude wh/ no one wants in an actress. Sorry, if you want Madame Curie respect you become a scientist. She’s haughty in a profession that doesn’t warrant it.

    Can’t we have some smart, beautiful, cool Gwen Stefani news? Angelina Jolie is good, but there are many more cool, truly smart women out there.

  67. truthzbetta says:

    Bee, I guess I remembered the era too, plus the added fact she gave him a dictionary (maybe thesaurus) plus the ridiculous need for one. Ok, sold.

    She’s a piece of work.

  68. Bopa says:

    She sounds like Gary Busey with her unusual word choices.

  69. Bill Hicks is God says:

    George Orwell said “Never use a big word where a little one will do.” Also many lay people don’t know what a thesis is (in Canada we usually call the graduate thesis a dissertation), let alone that it has to be defended before someone gets their PhD. I love the analogy of academic “hazing,” lol!

    If someone needs to refer to a thesaurus to understand someone they are dating, that means two things:

    1) That they know how to use a thesaurus so they’re not a turnip and;

    2) They need to dump that person’s pretentious ass.

  70. SlightlyPeeved says:

    The first sentence of her distribe is gibberish: “…completely abstinent of the press…” and “…really powerless of what the media does with it”. Unintelligible. If she writes like she talks, she need a remedial writing class.I pity her thesis advisor. I hope she had a very good editor for her book, because otherwise no one will understand what she is blathering on about. Just my opinion but what do I know? I only earn my living as an editor and a writer.

  71. GradStudentEatingHotPockets says:

    @Bill Hicks Is God

    First, love the name.
    Second, yeah…I had no idea that a thesis was a big deal…until I got into grad school haha. I’m in a program that is thesis specific, but there are many grad programs (depending on the area of study) that don’t require a thesis. I think of the thesis as the “baby dissertation” because it’s not full blown dissertation yet. So I defend my thesis PROPOSAL, do my thesis, then do a dissertation and then defend the dissertation. Yaaayyy!!!
    Third- I can’t wait for my thesis defense. I basically stacked my committee with people who are super supportive and who won’t cut me down for the hell of it haha.

  72. K-MAC says:

    that is VERY recovery speak. I feel for her, I really do because she must have gone through hell but she is also trying to move forward from. As a result, she is not letting or allowing her audience time to digest this new information we are learning about her and that is a big reason why she comes off as someone entitled. She is truly trying to be sincere; however, there is something missing in the translation

  73. K-MAC says:

    Also, people who have experienced sexual abuse at a young age and come from alcoholic families are incredible mimics. Even in recovery they take on the form of the person(s) who helped them whether it be a book, tapes, groups, people. I think she will iron herself out a little more as time goes by and really let her guard down. It is great she does her charity and I would love to see her in an interview where she is relaxed with herself and everyone around her

  74. Alix says:

    She’s not articulate, she’s pedantic. And pretentious to the point of making Gwynnie seem like down-home, regular folks.

  75. poster 1 says:

    Can’t get over how much her and Heigel look alike.

  76. Liana says:

    We should be applauding her for DOING something about her past. Instead, let’s attack her because she speaks differently than we do.
    Part of healing is stripping down everything, including the words we use and the ways we describe things.

    * * * * * *

    Where’s the applause for the many women right here at CB who have done something to overcome their childhood? And somehow have managed to do so without become a sanctimonious, pretentious bitchqueen from Planet Mongo? I had a pretty shitty childhood until I was “rescued” by my dad. Since then (and yes, I was extremely lucky to have gone from hell to heaven with one move across the country and away from the lie that was my life) I’ve gone on to be a good person, a charitable person, and I’ve gone on to get a Masters in film from a prestigious university. Doesn’t make me better than anyone else. And it doesn’t make Ms Judd better either. She just seems to think it does.

    I applaud her for overcoming, but I don’t give her anymore applause than I do the wonderful witty women here who have done the same.

  77. BeckyR says:

    Feel sorry for Ashley’s abusive past but think I will “abstain” from reading another celebrity book. I have friends who have their own stories.

  78. LeaS says:

    She is also redundant and verbose, I mean look at this sentence:
    “the kinds of things that happened to me are very typical and standard and indicative of a family system that doesn’t work very well.”

    She used ‘typical,’ ‘standard,’ and indicative when she simply could of used one or two of the words to get her point across (ex: typical and indicative but not standard).

    Just as a poor vocabulary can be indicative of a lack of education, a verbose person may not be as intelligent because they can’t get a point across or organize their own thoughts. It just becomes a jumble of words.

    So yea, an extensive vocabulary doesn’t mean a person is smart…that’s exactly what not intelligent people think (including Ashley!) and Lucy2 (#66) Sapphire (#33), SlightlyPeeved (#72), #76 and #58 are on the mark with their comments.

    Now, Uma Thurman? She IS intelligent and genuine:
    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/22425001/vp/27890204#27890204

  79. Runs with Scissors says:

    @Liana, “I’ve gone on to be a good person, a charitable person, and I’ve gone on to get a Masters in film from a prestigious university.”

    That’s great, I definitely applaud you for being a charitable person, and going to a prestigious university.

    But why can’t we applaud you both?

    Why is it a pissing contest? Because she decided to speak up about it? Because she doesn’t speak the same way you do, she thinks she’s better than you? I don’t get it.

    Why not just support her, the same way you ask to be supported and applauded? Why is this a contest to see who is more worthy of our applause?

    That’s my point, we should be supporting each other, not finding every reason under the sun to rip each other down. This isn’t a competition.

    Praising someone (who I might not like personally) for something positive she’s doing, doesn’t detract from others who are doing other good things, it SUPPORTS them. I just don’t understand this logic.

  80. Becky says:

    I watched her interview this morning and wondered if there would be a post about it on Celebitchy. I thought she came across as very pretentious, affected and annoying. Prior to seeing the interview I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt re: the stories about her being difficult but after watching her this AM I tend to believe them. While I applaud the volunteer/activist work that she’s done and I’m sorry that she suffered sexual abuse and depression it doesn’t detract from the fact that she comes across as a highly annoying, condescending person.

  81. lola lola says:

    She was so beautiful. Now…meh!

  82. DeeVine says:

    Abstinent is def a odd choice. Maybe she wanted to say “abstain” from making interviews but messed it up.

  83. madylane says:

    THANK YOU!!! I thought the same thing when she said she was abstaining from press while DOING PRESS! WTF?

    Otherwise, I admire the works she does, acting and charitable. I think anyone who can go so very public with something that can be so soul squeezing like molestation is very brave and I applaud her outlook on “giving those SOBs back their shame”.

  84. april showers says:

    I actually think she made a lot of sense despite the overly flowery language. Sounds like she has come to grips with her past and kicked the anxiety and insomnia, which can be debilitating. (Does anyone have the name of her therapist?)

  85. Hakura says:

    @IrishSerra – Ugh. I can’t imagine all that you’ve been through… Just let me say how amazing I think you are for pulling your life back together & moving forward. Especially as the pregnancy was the result of a very bad ocurrence. You’re the perfect example of a strong woman refusing to remain a victim. I tip my hat to you.

    @Granger“I for one choose to appreciate and respect women who know how to form a sentence without saying “like” or “ummm” every four words. For pete’s sake, we hear enough women who sound (sometimes on purpose) like total idiots in interviews. Let’s give credit where it’s due.”

    If I can separate this particular issue from Ashley (& her experiences), & just respond to the general point of women who speak intelligently… No, there’s nothing wrong with being articulate & confident. But there’s a dfference between that, & intentionally using terminology to belittle others, & cast yourself in a superior light.

    If she’s trying to get through to people, to communicate a message & convince them to empathize, her choice of wording needs to change.
    —-
    I’m… really amazed. I personally had a very very bad childhood (not because of abuse in the usual sense, but abuse/neglect combination that has warped me in ways I don’t want to admit). I just never realized the sheer amount of people who had sucky chldhoods. It seems like the rule, instead of the exception.

  86. Mingo says:

    She is one of the most beautiful women on the planet.

  87. Crash2GO2 says:

    I have time for anyone who has suffered abuse of any kind, especially when they were a child. However, the amount of time I have to spend is inversely proportional to their ego.

    Thus – I am sorry you suffered Ashley. Now please do something about your insufferable self.

    NoFrank: Your comment made me LOL!

  88. d says:

    I think she meant “abstain” as in, she wanted to abstain from press, etc., etc.

    Some people are insufferable because they’re driven by their insecurities and needs, all stemming from really crappy childhood. I see her bevaviour as a coping mechanism as opposed to being an accurate representation of her real self.

    EDITED: I just saw someone else’s comment, so ITA then.

  89. motheroftheyear says:

    Here we go again.

    The comments…not Ashley.

    She’s been through hell and back, and if she wants to write a book about it, so be it. The rumour is she’s difficult, but I’ve never met her or worked with her, so I don’t know. There are also rumours about Richard Gere and gerbils. So there’s that. Regardless of her personality, she went through some atrocious things and is healing by being open and honest.

    I can’t help but wonder how most commenters on this board would react if their lord and savior Angelina “Forehead Vein” Jolie “wrote” a memoir of a harrowing past. Surely she’d be praised.

    I’ve said it before (in my private life) and I’ll say it again: when women are so catty and bitchy to one another, it’s no wonder men don’t take us seriously.

  90. Sumodo1 says:

    At least it wasn’t Scientology-speak. BTW, she’s looking a lot like Victoria Principal who had waaaay too much plastic surgery at that age, too. Ew.

  91. jemshoes says:

    Up til now, I’ve refrained from commenting about AJ and all the issues surrounding her and her memoir because I don’t really know what to think – and I still don’t. A part of me (the soft part) thinks she’s being brave for talking about these issues, but another part of me (the private part) wonders why she – or anyone, for that matter – would invite the world into her healing process … and what her motives really are.

    So many of the posters here are sheer survivors, and their critique of AJ (especially from the ones who have actually worked with her) gives much food for thought.

  92. Confuzzle says:

    She knows a lot of words. She just doesn’t know what they mean. Pretentious idiot.

  93. Jane Q. Doe says:

    One off-topic (sort of) question: is she still married? Is her husband, Dario Race Car Driver whatever, mentioned at all in the interview?

  94. Whitey Fisk says:

    irishsierra said:
    “I do believe Ashley Judd comes across as pompous, but in the back of my head, I always wondered if she just tried so hard to create a different persona from those she was around for long and ended up overshooting her goal.”

    My thoughts exactly, though I might be projecting onto her a bit.

    Anyway, I love your post. Good for you for not ruining your life in order to make miserable people feel better about being miserable. Good choices ripple through generations long after you’re gone. Rock on!

  95. Mrs. Darcy says:

    I get why people are put off by her, agree she is overly verbose, etc. But seriously, so what? She is not lecturing us on gluten intake like Gwyneth, she is opening up a private hell in the most dignified (if wordy) way possible. If using big words stops her blubbering about it Oprah style, more power to her. I thought the way she kept it together was kind of inspiring, yes she is a victim but she is showing people they can become stronger dealing with this horror and I think it’s brave of her,diva or no. She’s always had that kind of weirdly calm presence in her acting, I think it’s just her way. I don’t see evidence of surgery, she is fuller in the face but that could be weight gain, she has always had those super arched eyebrows, don’t think they could pull ‘em up any higher without going into Joker territory.

  96. po says:

    She’s pretentious. That’s just her personality. I used to always wonder why or how she turned out that way because I don’t get that vibe from her mother or sister, even though they’ve got their own crap to deal with. I get it now though, that’s probably been her defense mechanism in her family. Use big words and try to come off as smart as possible to disguise how weak she probably felt.

  97. Hakura says:

    @MotherOfTheYear – “I’ve said it before (in my private life) and I’ll say it again: when women are so catty and bitchy to one another, it’s no wonder men don’t take us seriously.

    This is something I’ve never understood. This may seem random, but look at the animal kingdom. Aren’t the males the ones who compete for the female? In our society… Women are the ones competing for a male. I’d be lying outright if I tried to pretend I’ve not done or said something catty (more than once) in my life.

    But it really goes to an extreme these days… Why the hell should WE be competing, let the boys deal with the BS. (That’s what ‘testosterone’ is for, anyway.)

  98. original kate says:

    “I’ll always remember the quote she gave (I believe) In Style magazine about being a “Truth Whore”. All I could think was, “Well, she’s half right”.”

    @ marjalane: so you’re saying she’s a whore? why? she’s had sex with men for money? wow, i had no idea.

    “Ho, sit down.”

    @ bill hicks: again, why call her a whore?

    i don’t understand some of the comments about this thread and the other AJ thread. people calling her a whore (oh, sorry…a “ho”, because that’s much more acceptable), saying they don’t believe her, telling her to “deal” and to STFU. way to be supportive, people. i also am an incest survivor…are you going to tell me to just deal and get over it, or am i a ho, too? look, she can write a book about her experience – i won’t read it, but more power to her if it helps her heal, and if it helps one other person than it’s worth it. yes, ashley is rather pedantic, but i don’t get the vitriol about this book.

  99. Hakura says:

    @Original Kate – I agree with you (& I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through such a horrible thing… It seems like everyone has run into this at some point in their lives.)

    I think part of the problem is being unable to separate their opinion of AJ as a person… from the subject matter of this book. Any other time (talking about anything else), we’d think she was stuck up & ignore her… but with this sort of topic, you just can’t react to her the same way without coming off horrendously insensitive & wrong.

    I don’t care for AJ, no. But the experience she’s talking about it more important than her pompous personality.

  100. original kate says:

    @ hakura: thanks for the kind words. i don’t care for ashley, either, but what bothers me are the posters who toss around the word “whore” so casually. i think gwyneth paltrow is a pretentious snot, but i would never call her a “ho” just because i don’t like her. she may be many things, but a slut she is not.

    heaping scorn on ashley judd’s acting, plastic surgery or her smugness is fine -after all this is celebitchy- but calling her a liar (with no proof!) and a whore (it’s 2011, can we please stop calling women sluts?) for revealing something so painful and shame-inducing is just wrong. this kind of reaction is exactly why rape/abuse survivors don’t want to come forward – they are afraid they will not be believed or be blamed. i speak from experience.

    i thought we left that kind of archaic thinking in the 50s, but i see it is alive and well.

  101. Liana says:

    @runswithscissors: Why is it a pissing contest? Because she decided to speak up about it? Because she doesn’t speak the same way you do, she thinks she’s better than you? I don’t get it.

    * * * *

    It’s not a pissing contest. I’ve applauded her. I’ve said in SEVERAL posts that it’s her story to tell as she wishes and more power to her for having done so. It doesn’t excuse the piss poor behavior she exhibits, however. I don’t ask for applause, I don’t ask for ANYTHING. I’m glad my life didn’t end up with me thinking that I’m above others. As for finding her an insufferable bitch – I’ve worked with her, have you? Never witnessed the “mute stones,” have heard from fellow crew that it occurred. I have witnessed the “don’t speak to Ms Judd. She’s the talent, you’re the crew,” the deliberate ignoring of PAs trying to get her ass to the set, and the blow ups over petty nonsense.

    And I’m with original kate on the “whore” comments. Come on. Having been sexually abused/molested doesn’t make one a whore, and as awful as she can be to work with, I’ve never heard anything about her being trampy in any way, shape, or form.

  102. Hakura says:

    @Original Kate – I know I can’t speak for the others who have posted, but I *think* they (at least some of them) used the word ‘whore’ in the context of ‘fame whore’. Someone manipulating for the sake of getting more attention, perhaps not being completely honest, or exaggerating to get more sympathy. *IF* that was what they meant, it was a crass, extremely bad choice of words, especially given the subject matter.

    Personally… I don’t believe she’s lying *or* exaggerating. It’s just too serious a topic, & even if she has an annoying stuck-up personality, I can’t see her being disingenuous about something like this. It’s just important not to project one’s opinions of AJ as a person onto the topic of abuse.

    @Liana“Never witnessed the “mute stones,” have heard from fellow crew that it occurred. I have witnessed the “don’t speak to Ms Judd. She’s the talent, you’re the crew,” the deliberate ignoring of PAs trying to get her ass to the set, and the blow ups over petty nonsense.”

    Wow. That’s… absolutely ridiculous. Most people would assume it’s ‘cool’ to work on the set & be around celebrities… but I’m sure they don’t consider the negatives that come with it. She really is…uppity.

  103. Runs with Scissors says:

    @Liana, I know it’s hard to cut slack for pretentious people who bring up their prestigious educations from Harvard or constantly name drop or exaggerate their “connections,” are uncooperative with the PAs, and all that other stuff people mention, but I really think it’s just a coping mechanism, like she’s just trying to distance herself from her past, and change how she perceives herself by trying to impress every one else all the time. It’s sad really. I’m just saying that I’d rather cut her a little slack and credit her with the positive things she’s doing, which is a LOT, than attack her over what really are annoying, but not unforgivable (or all that rare) traits. Praising her doesn’t detract from others. It’s just my opinion.

  104. Mika says:

    Really? She sounds educated? She sounds to me like she reads too many drug store romance novels. “Sacred narratives?” stories that were “entrusted to me” “sick and tired of being sick and tired” speaking in dramatic cliches does not make you educated. Also, she’s not articulate, she tries to do so much with her sentances that she looses the thrust of her argument. Perfect example: “I really love the God of my understanding”, she’s trying to say that she loves God but she’s qualifying “God” at the same time. It really undermines what she has to say.

  105. Janie Kana says:

    My brother suggested I might like this websiteHe was totally rightThis post actually made my dayYou cann’t imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!

  106. Chelle says:

    1. Thank you SO much for making me laugh. Life hasn’t given me a lot about which to laugh lately, so I truly appreciate a good guffaw.

    2. Your blog is exceedingly well-named.

    3. After reading your confused and somewhat confusing attempted excoriation of Ms. Judd, then reading your comment policy (most laudable, if somewhat hypocritical) I burst into a bout of laughter that lasted a good several more minutes. So thank you again, my dear! I truly appreciate it…and given it’s a free world, I have no comment at all on your opinion of Ms. Judd.

    Personally I find it terribly unfortunate that when a woman attempts to discuss something as personal, painful, and soul shattering as repeated childhood sexual abuse our media (and many bloggers) either continue to focus on her appearance or her “tone” and choice of words.

    By the way, well over 28% of adult women in developed countries now report having been sexually abused by a trusted family member or neighbor in their lifetime, with that number increasing every year, now that brave women like Ms. Judd have taken the issue out of the dark corners where “polite society” used to keep “such things” hidden, as if WE, the survivors, were the ones who had done something wrong!

    I do hope people eventually gave some thought to the content of Ms. Judd’s words, not just how she looked or how she sounded.

  107. Confused says:

    I guess on a website with the slogan “Escapism can be smart,” I expect a little more than “She also used a lot of big words that sounded like nonsense.” Particularly when it’s perfectly clear what she meant.

  108. nuno says:

    Ashley Judd is a great women. so pretty