Jake Gyllenhaal is cuddlefesting 22-year-old Jessica Lowndes

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It was just Tuesday afternoon when I suggested publicly that if Jake Gyllenhaal’s publicity team wanted me to buy Straight Jake, they would have to give me something more than Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift look-alikes, and all of the other assorted, barely-legal wispy blondes. I demanded a busty brunette, someone pretty and someone who definitely didn’t try to give off a virginal “Look at me, I’m such a princess, and I’m just waiting for my prince” vibe. Well… is Jake’s team listening to me? They might be. Because the new rumor going around Us Weekly is that Jake is quietly boning (“dating” or “cuddlefest-having”) Jessica Lowndes. Here’s one of Jessica’s sexiest photos, from a shoot she did with FHM:

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Sidenote: I was looking through photos of Jessica, I noticed a discrepancy in boob size throughout the years. If I had to guess, I would say the photos from this FHM shoot were pre-boob job.

Anyway, you might be asking, “Who is this Jessica Lowndes? Did Jake hire her because Kaiser said he needed to butch it up with a brunette for a change?” Well, Jessica is on 90210 (boo!) and she is 22 years old – still kind of skeevy-young for a 30-year-old actor, in my opinion, but I’m overlooking it because she seems like she’s 22-going-on-42. She’s an attractive girl, but that’s a HARD-looking 22 years.

In any case, Us Weekly reports that Jake and Jessica “shared breakfast” in New York City on April 1st, at the Greenwich Hotel. Which says… morning-after breakfast? Jake buys his ladies French toast before they do the walk of shame. Okay… and now my mind just wandered to where I’m now thinking about what kind of kinky junk Jake might like to do in hotel rooms. Ew. This dream I had for him where he would finally butch it up big-time with a brunette is not all I had hoped for!

Anyway, after that breakfast date, Us Weekly also claims that Jake had another date, this time in the evening, with some unknown girl, and then he went out with the Swifty-look-alike. Three girls, three dates, all in the span of three days. Oh, Jake! So butch! Such a ladies’ man!

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Photos courtesy of FHM & WENN.

 

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34 Responses to “Jake Gyllenhaal is cuddlefesting 22-year-old Jessica Lowndes”

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  1. Canuck says:

    She’s definitely lying about her age, no way is she only 22.

  2. brin says:

    Wonder if Swifty is crying in her vanilla latte.

  3. Quest says:

    Oh Swifty…take that and wrap it in your tight curling iron hair.

  4. Brittney says:

    Three “dates” or three “auditions”?

    And Jessica’s gorgeous, but her character on 90210 (so shoot me, it’s my guilty pleasure), Adrianna, is probably the least likeable of all of them. She’s either a great actress, or she’s just as superficial and self-centered in real life. I hope it’s the former.

    Also: she looks like Amanda Peet in that last picture.

  5. Dorothy#1 says:

    Seriously, he is not gay. (not that there is anything wrong with that LOL)

    I am going to as of now stop reading your Jake posts as they just piss me off.

  6. margaritachum says:

    once upon a time 22 years old looked like 22 years old…
    i miss those times.

  7. Phoenix says:

    Jessica Lowndes is so beautiful. She definitely puts all the other girls on the show to shame. As for being 22..hmm, she does look a LOT older.

  8. Rachel says:

    She seems to get a lot of hotties. She dated Aaron Paul, who I find very hot (in a skeevy kind of way).

  9. Nicky says:

    Don’t get your hopes up, Jake’s rep already responded, denying they hooked up/are dating. Someone on another site said he brought an unidentified blonde to the Source Code premier in LA, maybe it was the same girl he hung with in NY?
    @Brittney grow up with the bearding references, it’s as tired as the Blake Shelton BBM ‘Joke’. Like I said in the last Jake post, if you want to think he’s gay fine but base your judgement on actual facts, not fan fiction from Ted Casablanca.

  10. Violet says:

    hmm 28 maybe. 22 is very generous.

  11. TXCinderella says:

    She looks to be around 27 or 28 IMO.

  12. Marjalane says:

    I was going to comment that, why does it seem odd that he’s 30 and supposedly dating a 22 year old, yet it doesn’t bother me that the Gosdong’s, (also 30) love interest in his new movie is Emma Stone, who’s what, 21? That’s kind of icky too- but then I looked closer at the pictures and decided that this chick has either lived a hard life, or is lying about her age.

    And yes, I should have more coffee before I write anything else.

  13. TQB says:

    I saw Source Code last night (it’s decent, very original). Put me officially with @Dorothy #1 – I’m tired of hearing about Jake’s sexuality. Just because he isn’t a big manly man does not make him gay. He’s sensitive and quirky and all these gay rumors are just because Hollywood doesn’t know how to typecast that.

  14. >>Three “dates” or three “auditions”?>>
    could be, could be… how come I missed the casting call? LOL

  15. Dana M says:

    She is very beautiful. I agree that there is no way she is 22 years old.

  16. Rita says:

    The last time I sat on my basement steps wearing lingerie I got a sliver, but that’s all I’ll say about that little episode.

    ….and yes Kaiser, celebrity PR peeps follow your every word….as does the whole world.

  17. baby says:

    shes hot but i dont think she is pretty, ya know?

  18. Melissa says:

    Dorothy #1: Very much in agreement with you. Some of the stories on here are really funny, but yet some just seem to be an opinion that one is trying to make or push to be public opinion. But I’m not buying.

  19. Ashley Temple says:

    She’s giving off the drag queen vibe to me…I guess Jake’s into that.

  20. Myra says:

    His team is trying way too hard. Whether the stories are true or not doesn’t really matter, they’re out there.

    He needs to just come out. These stories just make him look silly. And tying himself to Taylor Swift was the biggest mistake he has ever made. His team probably wouldn’t feel the need to overcompensate so much if not for the fallout with her.

  21. spotchecker says:

    @ Kaiser

    “cuddlefesting”. one of my new favorite words. thank you, kaiser.

  22. Zoe says:

    I am so amazed by the judgment people still hurl at Jake Gyllenhaal six years after Brokeback Mountain. Anyone who suggests homophobia isn’t alive and kicking needs to re-evaluate. He played gay in a movie. He’s an ACTOR. Actors play everything from serial killers to soldiers and no one ever sits that and makes assumptions trying to connect their roles to their humanity. I could care less if Jake was gay or not, but I’m smart enough to know the difference between an actor, a role, and a real person.

  23. orion70 says:

    Those photos are a bit on the ridiculous side.

  24. Myra says:

    The only people who have suggested(recently anyway) Jake is gay because of Brokeback Mountain are the ones who wrote that joke saying just that for the CMAs. And obviously the joke made all involved look stupid.

    I don’t think you should assume everyone who thinks he’s gay or bi thinks so because of Brokeback Mountain, because there have been stories about him for years about that topic that have nothing to do with the movie.

  25. AWoww says:

    They always have a lot of DARK makeup on her eyes that, IMO, ages her. Some photos, she looks her age. She’s also Canadian (woohoo!)

  26. Kim says:

    Is he that immature that he has to consistently date girls 10 years younger than him?? or are younger girls more naive and buy that he is straight?

  27. ordinarygirl86 says:

    He likes them young- fine but I’d have preferred Jessica Szohr or Leighton Meester (26 & 25) to this chick! I also suggested Rihanna but nobody seems to be on that boat with me….

  28. sandy says:

    i too do not think Jake is gay, not that there’s anything wrong with that, i said before, maybe strong, quiet, sensitive, laid back kinda guy, chilling, easy going? Reese would not have co-sign for that, also Jake is a mystery, private, it keeps people guessing. IMO

  29. Heatherrr says:

    I want that blue dress… and her boobies.

  30. loopygorilla says:

    @Kim answer to your question.
    Both lol

    Also these are younger actress trying to climb the ladder, so they would do anything to get more recognised.

    Because with the right hook up, you can go from Z-list to A-List overnight, ALA katie holmes, without doing much.

    All you need to do is pose, pretend to laugh and a fake kiss at some movie premiere.

    Then talk to some celebrity loving magazine and gush about “how amazing he is”

    Just look at famehoes like olivia wilde, TRYING EVER SOOO DESPERATELY to be notice by banging justin timberdouche.

    If Jake’s people came along to those girls, they would sign the beard contract in A HEART BEAT.

  31. honeyv says:

    his eyes are too close together.

  32. harfang says:

    @sandy – Jake was in his mid and late 20s when dating Reese. For a person in his situation, or just any regular yobbo like us, it can take a hell of a lot longer than that to figure out what you actually want in a partner, up to and including what kinds of parts they have. Often it takes an LTR with someone of the “wrong” gender to really make one admit stuff to themselves.

    There are many reasons that I believe Jake is gay. What bothers me is that he honestly doesn’t seem like the kind of person who would go to such lengths to stay closeted. I always hope that he has a good excuse, such as supporting such a huge number of people that he must continue doing blockbusters instead of coming out and going indie.

    Or maybe it’s a Swedenborgian thing? He follows both that and Reform Judaism, and being in the latter, I know THAT’S not it…