Robert Pattinson in Elle Mag: “Round female bottoms are very much a miracle”

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As you know, while I am not particularly a fan of Robert Pattinson as an actor, I do enjoy him as a person. He consistently gives charming, sweet, and funny interviews, and he often reveals himself to be quite swoon-worthy in real life, in addition to his swoon-worthiness as Edward “Sparkles” Cullen. Pattinson sat down for an interview with Elle magazine, likely to promote Water for Elephants, although he barely talks about that movie. Instead, we get Sparkles’ attempt to butch it up a bit, I think. Which is out of character! He talks about his secret desire to beat the hell out of a paparazzo, and then he kind of messes it up by referring to himself as “girly” and talking about how he’s terrified of driving. The full Elle piece is here, and these are some of this highlights.

ELLE: How great a novel is Guy de Maupassant’s novel Bel Ami [which Robert is starring in]?
ROBERT PATTINSON: Amazing. One of my favorites. The script was really good too; Duroy has kind of changed a little bit. He’s so cynical in the book, but now he’s so convinced that he knows everything and that he’s been wronged, that he ends up being very earnest. He realizes that the whole world he lives in is based on a lie; it angers him so much that he basically wants to burn the whole thing down…and in trying to enjoy everything, he becomes what he hates most: a pompous little sh-t.

ELLE: So you relished playing a sleazy journalist?
RP: I like the section where he gets a job as a gossip writer and in a completely banal way just makes stuff up—uses the same story and changes the names. I think that still is very, very true.

ELLE: It was once reported that you were pregnant.
RP: Yeah, a couple years ago. That was true, though.

ELLE: Have you ever fantasized about doing something to destroy the “Twilight image” of you?
RP: You know, when the whole thing dries up and there’s hardly any paparazzi around—I don’t know, in 15 years or something—I like the idea of just one paparazzo coming out and trying to get a picture, and I just beat the sh-t out of him. I mean—out of nowhere—when my picture’s not even worth…and I’ve spent all my money, so you can’t sue me!

ELLE: Is your idea of hell to end up at age 45 posing with Twilighters at a comic book convention?
RP: I mean, that would be totally fine—if I didn’t have any responsibilities, if it didn’t affect my career anymore. I did a couple of those after Harry Potter, when I was totally unemployed. You can have so much fun. There are so many weirdos there.

ELLE: Have you had many near-death experiences?
RP: Yes, loads. I am the worst driver in the world. Every time I get in a car, I call up my parents and say goodbye.

ELLE: Here’s a line from Maupassant: “The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom.” Any thoughts?
RP: That is an absolutely true quote. Round female bottoms are very much a miracle.

ELLE: What would have to happen to make tonight unforgettable? Anything you want.
RP: I just got a little dog, so I’m having a very girly night here with my pup, a rescue mutt. It’s going to sound like I’m making this up.

ELLE: Have you seen the documentary Robsessed?
RP: I’ve seen bits, because someone said, “All your friends are being interviewed in it and talking about you,” and I was like, “What the f-ck?” So I watched it. I love these people pretending to be my friends and pretending to have met me, having insider knowledge—and actually some kind-of-famous people who’ve never met me, they just destroy their credibility in one swoop. The one frightening thing is they’ve got it on iTunes, and I looked at all the comments and almost every single comment was, “Who is this idiot making a documentary about himself? Who does he think he is?”

ELLE: What are some descriptions of you that you’ve had enough of?
RP: I never got the “brooding” thing. I’ve had about enough of that.

ELLE: What would you like to replace it with?
RP: Brooded. “Rob Pattinson looking brooded.” Brooded: It’s, like, after you’ve finished brooding.

[From Elle Magazine]

He has a wonderful ability to toss off some really great one-liners. I love “Every time I get in a car, I call up my parents and say goodbye.” And “Round female bottoms are very much a miracle.” Here’s what I don’t get: all of the little Twihard girls out there are obsessed (Robsessed) with Pattinson because of Twilight, and thus, their obsession is based on the CHARACTER. Why go for some sparkly vampire when the real dude is so adorable?

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Photos courtesy of WENN and Elle.

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50 Responses to “Robert Pattinson in Elle Mag: “Round female bottoms are very much a miracle””

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  1. clorismetchum says:

    my bottom’s round, robert! a little saggy, but definitely round(ish)! come to mama!

  2. Violet says:

    he does a great interview. it almost makes me like him. almost. though i imagine twihards aren’t going to appreciate being called weirdos. i mean they are the ones at the conventions right?

  3. jackie says:

    hey Rob remember those weirdos are the ones who are allowing you to recieve a huge paycheck

  4. Rasputina says:

    Oh man, he’s really growing to me as a person. And that groomed b&w photo is just enough to squee me under the table.

  5. LittleDeadGirl says:

    He is a great interviewer and he makes some of the same points his gf Kristen does but in such a way that it comes of as adorable and sweet not emoish. She could take some points from him … alot of actors, without that much talent, have made a career on the public’s good will. Never piss of the public, no matter how much talent you have ….

  6. hey says:

    They deserve to be called weirdos since they write real life fanfiction about him, that is pornographic, or hack into computers and steal personal photos. They are stalkers

  7. hayleej says:

    She is his beard. He never acknowledged her.

  8. embertine says:

    LOL, I think he’s a terrible actor and not a hottie AT ALL but he’s great in interviews. Good lad.

  9. FatJenny says:

    I can’t stand the Twilight craze…it’s ridiculous, but all in all, he’s actually a really good actor. I was impressed with his performance in the movie “Remember Me,” where he gave a stellar performance for a dramatic film. I’m looking forward to watching Water for Elephants.

  10. Vee says:

    He is fantastic! I love him and his personality so much. What a guy! I am looking forward to his new movie, Water for Elephants, looks like it has potential.

  11. Delta Juliet says:

    **sigh** I love him

  12. tapioca says:

    Why go for some sparkly vampire when the real dude is so adorable?

    Exactly! I despise Twish*te – although mainly for the obsessive fans, the films are merely a mild irritant – but Rob can still make me giggle like a schoolgirl.

  13. hmmmm says:

    yep. still crushing.

  14. mia girl says:

    The more I see and read his interviews, the more I absolutely love this guy.

    I saw an interview where he was asked who was a bigger diva, Reese Witherspoon or the elephant in Water for Elephants. He answer something like “Well, Reese couldn’t just do whatever she wanted like the elephant could, I mean Reese couldn’t go to a corner and just take a dump.” Hysterical and not at all contrived or standard press junket bs. Reese’s reaction was priceless.

    Pattinson looks amazing in the clips from Water for Elephants (a tan!), let’s hope his acting delivers. Either way, staring at him for two hours won’t suck.

  15. original kate says:

    i never realized he has such a good sense of humor. hmmm….he’s getting sexier to me all the time.

  16. Corina says:

    LOL “brooded” is my new fave adjective!

  17. silken_floss says:

    No thank you.

  18. candy says:

    British people have the best sense of humor. This young actor is going to have a long career ahead of him.

  19. Cheyenne says:

    What I like about him is that as drop-dead gorgeous as he is, he doesn’t seem stuck on himself, and all the fame doesn’t seem to have gone to his head. Let’s hope it doesn’t. He comes across as a very likable, down-to-earth kind of guy.

  20. Micki says:

    God, I hope he’s wrong and Twilight craze dies a lot sooner than 15 years.
    On the topic- does KS have a round bottom?

  21. Sakyiwaa says:

    Lol! that was such a lovely interview! i’m not a Twihard…but i seem to be able to really get into R.Pattz sometimes. like right now. it’s like i like him better when he’s not Edward Cullen. then again, i love me some Edward Cullen in small doses. paah, ain’t that annoying?!
    i love his last line. when he said “Brooded.” which is when he’s done “brooding”. hehe! he sounds really smart.
    Plus, I do have a very round bottom! Oh yes, I do.

  22. Lois says:

    I can’t help it, I love him. *sigh* I can’t wait for Water for Elephants 🙂

  23. curmudgeon says:

    This kid is so damn cute. I do not share the arrested development of women over forty that are into Twilight, (shudder) but I just love this guy. I think that snot faced co star of his is going to break his heart one day, not the other way around.

  24. serena says:

    You’re totally right, I kind of hate the sparkly vampire character now (truth is I can’t stand “twilight” anymore) but the real one, Robert, is so much fun and cute.

  25. Hakura says:

    Damn it. I dont want to find this guy attractive. I’ve never considered his appearence attractive for a moment. But he gives a good, charming interview (much like Daniel Radcliffe, who I also don’t find physically all that attractive)…

    It seems like he just hasn’t let any of it go to his head, which is impressive, considering the insane nature of Twilight.

  26. Tiffany says:

    @ Jackie. I know that he called them weirdos but he also said that he would continue those conferences years from. He might have said that but he is not looking his nose down at them if they will keep him employed, just like the Harry Potter conferences.

  27. Jill says:

    I think the person of Rob is completely and infinitly more interesting than Edward Cullen!

  28. jackie says:

    @tiffany do you really think some fans want to see him at a conference after he called them weirdos? Poor choice of words, IMO, esp after what twilight has given him, a job, fame and security when three years ago he had none of that.

  29. Cali says:

    I like this guy more and more too, he has a personality and is actually funny and doesn’t come off as a douche *cough Franko* and it’s not his fault that a billion teen girls would cut themselves over Edward. I blame Perez for that, his obsession is worse that that of a 15yr old girl and he feeds it on his site O_o

  30. Katija says:

    I like him and I think the “brooded” thing was funny, but I think in twenty years both he and Kristen Stewart are going to deeply regret not enjoying “when they were famous” more. Because the more these kids say that they hate fame, the more the people who made them famous are going to start to walk away.

  31. Quest says:

    After reading this I know my ass will have you at hello, Oh Sparkly…it’s one of those miracles [ 🙂 ], I enjoy all your interviews

  32. xxodettexx says:

    i do love his interviews and i have only seen him on Harry Potter [remember me and little ashes are on my terabyte but i havent had time to watch them] so i cant talk about his acting craft, or lack thereof, but his interviews are always a treat to read…

  33. Lucy says:

    To Curmudgeon @ 23

    Look who’s jealous of Kristen Stewart LOL! Its OK, sweetie, if she breaks his heart he will be OK because he will read your amazingly intelligent posts and fall madly in love. He will then hire the FBI to trace you down and whisk you off to London to meet his family and hang out with his Brit friends. He will then ask you to marry him and demand you wear tight skirts to show off your ’round’ ass.

    Aw, I’m good at fanfic:)

  34. Newbie says:

    Uh, he was being an absolute gentleman in the way he answered that “twilight” question. He gave credit to the fans and said that he wouldn’t mind going to those conventions because they’re “fun”. He was being really classy about it, when he could have brushed it off and spit on it in order to make himself look above all that. And about calling them weirdos? It came across to me as funny/complimentary, not dismissive. I smiled reading the whole thing. What a charmer! I hope his acting improves. I actually want to see this movie.

  35. Cheyenne says:

    @Curmudgeon: I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I added Twilight and New Moon to my list of Crappy Movies You Can’t Help Watching. Pattinson is the reason I watch them every time they come on cable. I fell head over heels in love with him in the fourth Harry Potter movie. (However, there is a limit, and nothing, not even that gorgeous hunk, could get me to sit through Eclipse again.)

  36. I Choose Me says:

    I love this boy. He’s sweet and down to earth yet continually gives good snark without being a bitch about unlike his lip-biting counterpart.

    Thank you (M-girl?) number 14 for that quote of Robert’s about who’s the bigger diva in Water for Elephants. That actually made me guffaw.

  37. honeyv says:

    Okay I admit it, I haven’t seen Twilight! OMG yes! I don’t betray True Blood :). And I’ve never seen Rob as an attractive guy or something like that. But reading articles like this, I really start to think he is a normal, cute guy. I tend to appreciate this kind of guy, not cocky or annoying.
    I saw him in Remember me, and I actually believe he is a good actor too. I didn’t like the role very much, it was too negative/dark for me. But again, he played it well and he looked great there. I’d like to see guys like him often.

  38. Reese says:

    I do love his interviews! lol

    TBH, I think he’s getting better as an actor. Twilight movies(& books) are total crap so don’t judge on that alone.

  39. Hakura says:

    @Jackie“do you really think some fans want to see him at a conference after he called them weirdos? Poor choice of words, IMO, esp after what twilight has given him, a job, fame and security when three years ago he had none of that.”

    Actually, he wasn’t talking about Twilight when he referenced ‘weirdos’.

    Quote: “I did a couple of those after Harry Potter, when I was totally unemployed. You can have so much fun. There are so many weirdos there.”

    And even if he did say that about Twilight, I’m sure he’s ony referring to the *fanatics* that take it way too far.

  40. Truthzbetta says:

    He said it was fun, he has no prob with conventions, and the wierdos in question were Harry Potter fans. And I’m not sure he didn’t find them part of the amusement.

    Relax.

  41. LolaBella says:

    I can’t help but love this guy and he comes across so normal and unpretentious in interviews.

    Awww poor Kristen doesn’t have a miraculous round female bottom.

    Sparkles Is Sad.

  42. jemshoes says:

    LOL! ‘Brooded.’ 😀

    And you said, Kaiser! RP the guy is much more interesting and dynamic than Edward Cullen, the character. Everything about Twilight is a little disturbing but Edward is the most disturbing element in it. I think it says a lot about our culture that young girls would look to a character like Edward and want him as their hero / saviour.

  43. Flan says:

    About the weirdos thing:

    I don’t think he means his fans in general. but the ones who go to conventions specifically: there probably are some weirdos out there (who believe Harry Potter is real, or think they can communicate with Edward Cullen telepatically etc)

  44. Reece says:

    xxodettexx – Little Ashes is a must see. I love movies about artists so I might be biased, but Rob was brilliant in it.

    LolaBella – Have you really looked at Kristen’s ass it is a thing to behold. She has a perfect kind of bubble butt. For being so tiny everywhere else it’s like PADOW! when you see her ass.

  45. telesma says:

    I dislike the Twilight books and movies, but I really like him. I love a smartass and he fills the bill. 😀

  46. chris says:

    He’s completely adorable. I would never tire of him.

  47. Jerry says:

    Kristen Stewart has chicken legs that are dough and fat. No tone, the same with her ass.

  48. Lucy says:

    He seems like a cool guy….but he was definetely the wrong choice to placy Edward Cullen who is described in the book to be almost too beautiful to look at…Rob looks like his face went on hot and ran…..

  49. Mario says:

    It’s a miracle and a disgrace that those horrible Twilight movies actually make money.

  50. Don Scalise says:

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