MTV Movie Awards Open Post: Hosted by the ‘Breaking Dawn’ trailer

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Here is an open post for tonight’s MTV Movie Awards, otherwise known as “The Global Twihard Panty Explosion Event”. Yes, not only will Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson be IN THE AUDIENCE (ZOMG!!!), not only are they up for BEST KISS (ZOMG!), but they will be introducing a clip from Breaking Dawn. Because I’m awesome, I bring you what I think the “clip” will be – this brand spanking-new trailer, the first full-length trailer for the film. Beware, at first I thought this was a spoof trailer, because the music and the acting was so overwrought and dumb. But then it gets good.

OMG, I love that little clip where Sparkles is thrusting so hard he, like, breaks the hotel suite and you can hear “wood” splintering (is it wood or the Sparkledong?). Also, the shot of her in her wedding dress… um, can she close her mouth even ONCE?

Anyway, I’m sure the MTV Movie Awards will be full-throtle Twihard, so you should plan your drinking games accordingly. Every time K-Stew bites her lip? Every time she rolls her eyes? Every time she dodges whenever Sparkles tries to touch her? You guys would need to be hospitalized.

So… I’m going to watch it for a bit, but I won’t be updating or anything (The Killing is on tonight!). We’ll have full coverage of all of the stuff tomorrow.

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Photos courtesy of WENN & MTV.

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42 Responses to “MTV Movie Awards Open Post: Hosted by the ‘Breaking Dawn’ trailer”

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  1. carrie says:

    i just can’t with these movies :it’s just so awful(acting,story,plot,directing,music)
    i guess if i ‘m 15,i would be crazy but i’m too old

  2. Tigger says:

    I don’t know why, but his arms freak me out. I find him repulsing, but when I saw his arms and then the wood breaking I felt like I was molested 😮 I love the serious tone to the trailer, it makes it sooo lulzworthy. Kristen does look goregous in this. So, there’s one positive thing about it. But, yea, horrible acting from everyone. Uhhh.

  3. hairball says:

    God, I know I’ll see this. !!! Please don’t be horrifying……

    P.S. If you’re filming in snow, please don’t film it on an obvious sound stage with paper snow….

  4. Amanda G says:

    That book was awful, but I’m curious to see if the movie is better. So far it has all the usual stuff…bad acting, bad wigs and Taylor shirtless!

  5. Jen D says:

    It’s the dramatic music that cracks me up. I know it excites the twihards, but it’s too much.

    I wish Stephanie Meyers (sp?) would write another book ten years after the series left off, where Bella is regretting getting hitched and knocked up at such a young age, and realizes that she would have been better off without a whiny douchebag vampire husband.

    Am I going to be killed now?

  6. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Jen D – Nope! (Not by me, anyway.) I actually read the books, and Bella’s martyr complex seriously irritated me.

  7. K says:

    Did Reese just call out Blake about leaving your face off nude cell phone pics??!! Love it!

  8. Marianne says:

    I love Rob’s F Bomb

  9. Samigirl says:

    Uch. Stephanie Myer has the writing abilities of a 7th grader, and this movie is going to blow hard.

  10. Chris says:

    Surely the Lifetime Achievement award is going to be a two horse race between K-Stew and The Bieb.

  11. Brittany says:

    I still can’t get over the fact that even though he’s undead and nothing in his body works… he still produces sperm? wtf!

  12. jemshoes says:

    I seriously don’t know how any mother could justify letting her daughter(s) (or herself) watch this horror soap opera of a vampire having sex with a human, and the human-vampire baby birth that happens after that. It was gross enough just reading about it. Absolutely disgusting. :S

  13. Lizzie says:

    Poor Jason Sudeikis. I mean…that writing was a big pile of crap. He should have done his hip-hop dancing from “Whats up with that”. Would have gotten more laughs.

  14. texasmom says:

    I’m gonna try walking around with my mouth open all the time to see what it feels like!

  15. Janie says:

    Did Nikki Reed announce her engagement at the awards? Because I had just read this and was googling “MTV Movie Awards” fashions and “Nikki Reed” and it came up that she is engaged to Paul McDonald!

    He is one of this season’s American Idol contestants…amazing! It’s rather quick but best wishes to them!

    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20500221,00.html

    http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/marc_malkin/b245565_twilights_nikki_reed_engaged_hes_one.html

  16. Crys says:

    Thanks twihards, for being the epitome of teen angst in the 21st century…

  17. Malia says:

    twilight is lame in a lot of ways, but kids are reading wuthering heights and romeo and juliet by their early teens in school, and they make through okay. Twilight is like this generations “flowers in the attic,” every generation needs a little literary freakfest to be sentimental about. lol

  18. Janie says:

    Did anyone catch Jason Sudeikis (spe?) reference to the January Jones issue? It was when Jason Bateman and “The Always Sunny in Philadephia” actor were on stage with him. It was brief and ridiculous.

  19. ViktoryGin says:

    but romeo and juliet and wuthering heights are gloried chick lit that just happen to be literary classics.

    This drivel is more useful as tinder for igniting fires.

  20. Trillion says:

    I really liked Reese’s acceptance speech (“people used to be embarrassed by sex tapes!”) but HATED her budge Forever 21 dress and she and Chelsea really need someone to check their hair before getting onstage. I mean, seriously.
    Robert P. was the star of the night. I thought he was charming as all hell.

  21. hairball says:

    How could any adult justify letting themselves watch this ‘horror’?

    Um……

    Have you seen Twilight..? I mean, really, have you seen it? Last movie they had the evil vampires killed by inexplicably turning them into mannequins and shattering….

  22. perry says:

    Good God, she is so bland even when a team of make-up artists prepares her for a scene.
    There’s no way that’s Sparkles in that sex scene, his shoulders are not that muscular.
    Both look like drug addicts.

  23. Cheyenne says:

    So where does part 1 leave off — with Bella spouting a fountain of blood, or with Edward chomping the baby out of her, or when Bella opens her blood-red eyes for the first time?

  24. RocketMerry says:

    Yeah, I had problems getting really into the Harry Potter franchise when I was a kid, I thought it rather silly. I thought no franchise for kids would be more stupid and vapid. Yeah.
    I feel for you, K-Stew (’cause you know she’s totally embarassed by this).

  25. almond says:

    I’m sure she’s embarrassed on the way to the bank, too.

    As for the kids who read Bronte and R&J, they read both as examples of the truest, most important and deepest love stories since, like, ever; needless to say, they are not. So yeah, they read, but they get nothing out of it. And that’s provided they manage to trod through Early Modern English in first place. The cultural value of the Twilight series is in the negatives.

  26. wtf? says:

    i’m ready to stake old rpatz and “kristen i have only one vague dopey expression”….thank god this series is nearly over….

  27. Alipop says:

    Rob is SO ugly. Poor teenage girls have such a distorted view on ‘handsome’. And the acting is HORRIBLE. Something like this is not a ‘step up the ladder’ for these ‘actors’

  28. Charlotte says:

    I find them both rather attractive, mediocre actors. Hopefully, the acting will improve. The twihards are like a virus. They virtually take over any thread on the internet that has ANYTHING to do with Robert Pattinson, K-Stew, Summit Entertainment, or anyone else involved or remotely related to the cast, crew, director, or present film-shoot location. I hate it. *crying*
    Worst part of that trailer? The end title appears out of the black darkness…and then…”part 1″. SERIOUSLY? Part 1? There are 2 parts to the end of this ridiculousness? Please, please hell no.

  29. Jenny says:

    Boring and really, really white.

  30. esther says:

    @Kaiser and totally off topic; the killing, is it any good? I’ve watched the danish, original one, but should i see the AMC one? Just wondering…

  31. Kaiser says:

    esther – I’ve been enjoying The Killing, but it does have some issues. Last night’s episode was very well-acted, but unessential to the plot. Meh.

  32. Quest says:

    If I take a drink “every time K-Stew bites her lip, rolls her eyes, opens her mouth or doudges whenever Sparkles tries to touch her…I would be a drunk within the hour.

  33. mln76 says:

    I remember going to see the first movie and actually bursting into laughter at the climactic scene at K-Stew’s bad acting …this looks to be a thousand times worse/funnier than the first movie.
    I do agree with Malia though better that kids read this crap than that they don’t read at all. And if you compare the plotline to the V.C. Andrews I used to read as a young teen this is pretty tame.

  34. Micki says:

    @mln76:
    Ashamed to admit I started giggling even now…I won’t dare to watch it big screen because I’d comment on the sex/furniture crushing scene and will be linched for sure.

  35. Devon says:

    I will most likely see it in theaters but it will be for the sheer joy so seeing it fail. I saw Eclipse in theaters and I had to stop myself from laughing all the way through. Such a terrible movie.

  36. mia girl says:

    @Devon
    Why go see a movie in the theater if you a)want it to fail b)thought the previous one was so awful? Just curious…

    In general, what I’ve observed in reading comments/message boards is that for every Twihard, there is the Twihater – and both are just as invested in their cause.

  37. Cheyenne says:

    Devon: I will most likely see it in theaters but it will be for the sheer joy so seeing it fail.
    ============================================

    It will suck like a Hoover vac and make a shitload of money. Trust me on this.

  38. Sakyiwaa says:

    i sorta don’t have a problem with Twilight… i’m even concerned about what the Twihards are gonna do when the series is over cos I can relate to the obsession a little. it is possible to ‘crazy’ love something for no plausible reason. But Twilight is so dumbing down the value of the MTV movie awards. Okay. I know…yeah right, (rolls eyes)

  39. tuttie says:

    What’s up with the music? Doesn’t really go well with this piece of sh$t movie.

    Nice to see that those three leads still can’t act to save their lives.

    Also, MTV = More Twilight Victories. This and the Razzies are the only awards they would ever get.

  40. B says:

    I have zero interest in the Twilight series/saga (tried to watch the first movie and couldn’t bring myself to finish it). I just had to comment and say how gorgeous K-Stew is in the featured picture. It’s a shame that that doesn’t seem to really translate to the off-screen world (though she does looks quite pretty in the top pic).

  41. Ashley says:

    I read all 4 books, and they are literary atrocities. But, at the same time, sort of fun? (I feel like my BA in English should be stolen from me for saying that.)

    And the movies? I see them, sneak beer into the theater and spend 2 hours giggling and pissing off my mom/sisters, who take it slightly more seriously.

  42. Erin says:

    Gotta admit, I hope that is the sex scene! But God would I hate to see K-Stew in the throes of “acted” orgasm…or she could be used it…?