Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries were married last night in a lavish ceremony

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At long last, somebody bought the cow after getting the kat-face milk for free. Wait, I bungled that. Nevermind. Kim Kardashian is married, y’all. She is officially Kim Humphries. Or he is Kris Kardashian. I don’t know how they’re going to do this. Surprisingly enough, there aren’t a million blurry photos of Kim and Kris’s nuptials, so I really don’t know what Kim’s dress looks like beyond the description given to E! News and People Magazine, but I should point out that the description of the dress seems very similar to what Kim’s wax figure is wearing in these photos. Ha. I guess I should applaud them for keeping their wedding on lockdown? Or we should just thank E! because they’re the ones protecting their exclusive. Here are some details about the wedding, which went down last night in Montecito:

It was the happily-ever-after she always dreamed of. Kim Kardashian tied the knot with New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries on Saturday evening, her rep confirms to PEOPLE and E! exclusively.

The couple, who became engaged in May after dating for six months, wed at a private estate in Montecito, Calif., in front of 440 guests.

Among them: Demi Lovato, Babyface, Vera Wang, Mario Lopez, Mark Ballas, Ciara, Carmelo Anthony, Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz, Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough, Alan Thicke, Cheryl Burke, Melanie Brown, Maria Menounos, Sugar Ray Leonard, Serena Williams, Kathie Lee Gifford, Brittny Gastineau, Greta Van Susteren, Jillian Barberie, Brody Jenner and Avril Lavigne, Scottie and Larsa Pippen, and Dina, Ali and Lindsay Lohan.

As stepfather Bruce Jenner walked her down the aisle, Kardashian, 30, donned an ivory custom-designed Vera Wang gown with full tulle skirt, basque waist and hand-pieced Chantilly lace appliqué on the bodice and train. She wore Guiseppe Zanotti shoes.

The groom, 26, sported a made-to-measure white peak lapel tuxedo jacket, black tuxedo pants with white tuxedo shirt and white bow tie – all by Ermenegildo Zegna – and the couple exchanged rings by Lorraine Schwartz, who also designed the engagement ring.

The bride was joined by sisters Kourtney, 32, and Khloe, 27, who served as her co-maids of honor. Younger sisters Kendall, 15, and Kylie Jenner, 14, and Humphries’s sister, Kaela, were bridesmaids. The ring bearer was Kourtney’s 21-month-old son, Mason Disick.

All the groomsmen, including the bride’s brother Robert Kardashian, wore matching black peak lapel tuxedos, white tuxedo shirts and black silk bow ties, again all by Zegna – who also dressed fathers of the bide and groom, Bruce Jenner and William Humphries, in matching black peak lapel tuxedos, white tuxedo shirts and silk bow ties.

For later in the evening, Kim planned two more changes, both Vera Wang ivory dresses, with a Judith Leiber clutch.

The first was a Georgette mermaid gown with hand-pieced Chantilly lace appliqué on the bodice and a skirt with hand-cut organza petals intermixed with Chantilly lace motifs and organza sprig embroidery.

The other Vera Wang dress was a bias-cut crepe back satin gown with V-neck and circle skirt.

At the reception, the groom changed into a black peak lapel Zegna tuxedo, white tuxedo shirt and black silk bow tie, to match his groomsmen.

E! News will air footage from the wedding Sunday at 6 p.m. ET/PT, and a two-part special, Kim’s Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event, will air Oct. 9 and 10, only on E!

[From People]

Would you like to know more? Of course. Bruce Jenner walked Kim down the aisle. Kim wore a bejeweled headpiece with her veil, and “diamonds… dripped onto Kim’s forehead.” I’m sure that was a sight, all of those diamonds on Kim’s epic, Botoxed forehead. Everything was in black and white, except for “the tiny pink box that Humphries’ best man, longtime pal Josh Ketroser, presented the rings in.” Kim paid tribute to her father, the late Robert Kardashian, in the wedding program: “I so wish my dad could be here today to walk me down the aisle. But I know in a way he is here, and I feel his loving presence all around me. I love and miss you, dad.” Little Mason Dixon performed his ring-bearer duties and it sounds kind of cute.

More details: Robin Thicke was there! Kim and Kris danced their first dance as a married couple to Thicke singing “Angels” and then “Let’s Stay Together”. Earth, Wind & Fire also performed later in the evening too. The food was done by Wolfgang Puck, and here’s what was served: “a buffalo mozzarella and heirloom tomato salad with basil and ‘tomato chips’ followed by a choice of hand-formed agnolotti with sweet corn mascarpone and summer truffles, or roast chicken with Yukon Gold potato puree, caramelized brussels sprouts and summer truffles.” The cake was “a decadent, multi-tiered chocolate-and-vanilla swirl cake studded with chocolate chips.”

It really sounds like no expense was spared for this wedding. I hope Kim got what she wanted, and hell, I hope the marriage lasts longer than a year.

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Photos courtesy of WENN & Fame.

 

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88 Responses to “Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries were married last night in a lavish ceremony”

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  1. Rita says:

    @Kaiser

    I think the expression you were looking for was:

    “Don’t try to skin a Kat while you’re milking it”.

  2. faye says:

    I wish she’d have surgery to make her face look less weird.

  3. theotheryael says:

    i did a quick scroll-by on the bottom photos, and literally had to stop and go back up to the face-shot of the wax figure to check if it was real kim or wax kim (which might as well be the same thing now).

  4. TG says:

    What is it about the name Humphries that sounds so backwoods. I think she is desperate since she turned 30 to marry but I will still be watching the special in October. I love weddings. What I don’t understand is why those girls and their mom wear everything so big. It makes them look 10 times older and like they are from the 80′s.

  5. hairball says:

    I’m just blown away and disgusted by the arrogance of this family to even think anyone cares much less to compare it to a royal wedding. It’s beyond words the disgust I feel.

  6. Hanna says:

    The waxfigure looks so much like her, if you know what i’m talking ’bout.

  7. MourningTheDeathofMusic says:

    “Yukon Gold potato puree”

    Mashed Potatoes gone ‘gluey’, ffs.

  8. Grandizer says:

    2 years? I think not.
    18 months tops…

    Sorry, just what I think…

  9. brady says:

    I see that only A-listers could get there. I only wish i could know half of them.

  10. Alysse says:

    How do you have Babyface attend your wedding but have Robin Thicke sing your first dance song? I dont understand. I know people right now who would eat shit to have Babyface sing at their wedding. lol

  11. Jenny says:

    Who are these people that they should have a live CNN feed (with a mischievous kid making faces in the background)!! It is not like the world is starved for real news or anything. People Magazine, now officially a tabloid, no better than Star or Intouch, apparently paid a million dollars for access. I just don’t get this at all.

  12. dorothy says:

    Glad it’s over. Tired of hearing about it, reading about etc…. Don’t understand the appeal.

  13. brin says:

    I love that Lilo and Dina were invited, somehow that seems so fitting for this circus event.

  14. dorothy says:

    The fact that Lohan and mom were in attendance screams the level of celebrity the Kardashians are. Bottom of the rung. Like the Lohans…wanna be’s.

  15. gee says:

    I’m only slightly ashamed to say I cannot wait to see pictures and the special. Cannot waitttt

  16. weeble says:

    I think the expression is dumb Kris paid for sour Kat milk others get for free. I’m sure he won’t be turning this heaux into a housewife, however. I give it a generous year, or until Pimp Mama comes up with a better stunt, whichever comes first.

  17. The Bobster says:

    I give it a year before she divorces him or he accidentally sit on her and she disappears up his butt crack.

  18. Flim says:

    why the obsession with wax replicants? Does the place become a fetish club after hours?

  19. Sohpie says:

    I am thinking maybe the special will not air in October as they may divorce until then. That would be a real story. This bitch got married and only for once I am happy as I hope she will not show her ass and talk about her ass anymore. At least I hope so, unless KH loves ass talk. Dude is just 26 years old. Go figure why he got married. He loves the attention more than the whore so they make the perfect match in fact.

  20. Deven says:

    Low-brow people like the Kardashians are always looking for ways to show everyone how “classy” they are, how rich, and famous. They exhibit their fears of not being in the public eye every day for all to see. It’s embarrassing what they don’t know, or even have a clue they don’t know. They know the value of nothing. They only know the cost and will be sure to tell you.

  21. Jo says:

    So I see Victoria Beckham, Justin Bieber, Jennifer Lopez, Donald Trump, among others, didnt make it to the wedding of the year (in Kim’s mind only) after all.

  22. TG says:

    @Flim – You must have hit on the truth. I always wondered why anyone would want a wax figure of themselves. I think it is freaky looking. Now a museum of painted portraits I would like to visit.

  23. Alix says:

    The guests were B-list, all right.

    When I see pix of the happy couple I just imagine that, no later than tomorrow, she will have killed and eaten him after mating.

  24. Beautrice says:

    I have followed this blog for so long without commenting but it is quite disheartening to see how kim kardashian is always insulted here while ladies like Angelina Jolie are discussed as if she owns this blog. Why do you hate Kim? She is such a cute and down to earth lady. Pple really bring others down to feel good. Well, I love Kim and I don’t wish her bad in her marriage. Why would anybody wish another bad???This is so strange1I wish her the best and I hope everything good comes out of this matrimony. Castigate, mock and call her all sorts of names, the truth is Kim Kardashian is an extremely beautiful woman. Hate her or love her, she must have made some mistakes in the past like so many of us but she has also made so many ladies to love their bodies!!!! Good luck to Kim who is so loved by millions of people all over the world. I am proud of Kim, she does not do drugs or have DIU like so many pple, Kim Kardashain is a focused and serious biz woman. I love her till death.

  25. fabchick says:

    She will be preggers within 6 months. Just for the attention not because she wants a baby. I give it 2-
    3 years. When she finally sees that no one cares then they will divorce. The tabloids will have tips from sources aka Mama Kris on how Kim’s fairytail turned into a nightmare, how Kris was so abusive and cheated on her. He will be painted as the bad guy. Kris is so dumb. Young and dumb.

  26. Cherry Rose says:

    I’m surprised that Lindsay and Dina managed to behave at the wedding, and didn’t try to draw attention to themselves.

    So, Kim’s married. Good for her I guess. If she’s ok with waking up next to Frankenstein’s monster, I mean Kris, then I guess I shall wish them the best.

  27. jc126 says:

    I hate the Kardashians, but they do a lot more (not actual work, but self-promotion and being on a TV show) than the inbred, welfare-recipient royal family.

    That said – I look forward to the inevitable divorce. HATE these people!!

  28. fabchick says:

    For those who are curious about her dress dailymail has some photos. I admit I did wanna see the dresses. I refuse to buy people magazine that paid her for pics.

  29. Chrissy says:

    In-bred welfare recipient Royal family?? Umm. Ouch.

    I can’t say I respect the Kardashians, even given their “work”. They are known because their father got a killer off – a man that killed their family friend. (Who needs friends like that??!!) And we all know why Kim is known.

    I’d take the British Royals any day over these gross people.

  30. the original bellaluna says:

    E!’s not just protecting their Kartrashian Kash Kow; People paid $1.5 MILL for the “exclusive” wedding pix. Wow. Another issue I won’t be buying. (It joins the “anything-related-to-the Bachelor/Bachelorette” pile of un-readables.)

  31. suggabugga says:

    I think as part of the festivities they should have shown a slideshow of starving kids and homeless people in their fancy tent and then these “celebrities” could have lifted their glasses and laughed and toasted to how lucky they are to be in the position to blow out money of their fat asses in the name of selfimportance and ignorance. the groom looks like he is missing a couple of digits in the IQ department, but that explains it all. seriously, who marries a woman whose claim to fame is getting pissed on in a porno? I wonder if RayJay or whatever the guy’s name is that pissed on her sent her a bottle of his finest as a wedding present.

  32. Hellen says:

    Hope she can get all her thank-you notes written before the official separation. That was she can legally keep all the wedding presents.

  33. Violet says:

    Run, Kris Humphries, run!

    If he had an ounce of self-preservation — and clearly he doesn’t — he’d refuse to allow himself to be taped for the Kardashian reality shows.

    There is something fundamentally f*cked-up about Kris Jenner, the way she craves notoriety for herself and her kids. That family is beyond dysfunctional.

  34. Truthful says:

    People paid 1.5 mil for access to the pics, smdh

    what a waste and now E is trying to cram this stupid special down our throats..

    so many folks are ANTI-KarTRASHian and it seems like the media still does not get it and they will continue to cram them down our throats.

    now, it’ll be baby gate TRASH.

    I will not watch and give E numbers nor the advertisers. I’ll catch glimpses of the cicus some other way.

    Ryan Seacrest is such a QUEEN, its obvious w/his display of these cows.

    EVERYONE is laughing at these conceited birds, I know its pure comedy and preteniousness.

    Poor Bruce, the only talented one in the family an he is shunned and disrespected on television.

    Hmmm, I wonder if The daddy’s REAL love was there, the wife he married on his death bed-to make sure he did not leave anything to Kris, just his wife and his kids.

    his true love, he died 6 weeks after they were married. They keep her a secret though.

  35. the original bellaluna says:

    I still can’t tell the difference between the wax figure in the museum and the free-range wax figure…

  36. Hausfrau says:

    In a fit of “Thicke”-related dyslexia, I initially believed that it was Alan Thicke, not Robin, who sang at the wedding. Now THAT would have been interesting…

  37. Elizabeth says:

    I love that Brittany Gastineau and the Lohans were there. Reality TV royalty!! (I’m joking, what a low-rent sounding guest list. Not an A-lister in sight!)

  38. Patricia says:

    I think the wax Kim is MUCH prettier than the real Kim!

    She should be so lucky as to look that good. She has such an unfortunate shape to her face.

    That’s my favorite part of this whole event :)

    They need to make one of the groom – he looks like the missing link.

  39. Lindsay says:

    Did you see what LL wore? A long white dress that was super low cut. The bridesmaids wore white too – I am starting to buy the idea she wanted to copy the Kate’s wedding. It will be interesting to see how many similarities there were.

  40. belle epoch says:

    Some sites are saying that everything for the wedding was comped, plus she is making millions from the photos, and more money from the TV wedding special (which will be broken into 2 – more advertising!). Apparently she could end up $5 million richer just for marrying a guy who eats with his mouth open.

  41. P.J. says:

    These people have way too much money!! I heard it cost $10 million. The excess is just sickening.

  42. Anonny says:

    So….are they divorced yet?

  43. AngelMay says:

    From urine dribbled on her to diamonds. She’s come a long way.

    The guest list is hilarious, reeks of desperation.

  44. Quest says:

    It’s finally over… thank gawd.

  45. Kelly says:

    For everybody who scrolled past and couldn’t tell the difference between the wax figure and the plastic figure (HA!), I totally did that as well, LOL. And I had to go back and look.

    @Beautrice, are you completely nuts? Kim is down to earth? She is the most self-centered, selfish, spendthrift media hog (ok, she does have some competition in the media hog arena) there ever was. I am not an Angelina groupie, but I don’t believe she courts publicity, she has always worn simple clothes (she’s NEVER seen shopping, except for her kids) and seems to devote all her time to her family, to her chosen altruistic causes, and to developing film projects.

    Finally (phew! I obviously had some things to get off my chest here) the guest list was absolutely pathetic. We all know what “A-list” means in Hollywood and in the music industry. Kim, when you get Jay-Z and Beyonce, or some actors who can actually carry a film, at your wedding, give me a call, mmokaybye.

  46. Memphis says:

    Kim Kardashian would have married ANYTHING at this point. So I’m not surprised she married Mr. Cro magnon. She was so desperate for a husband (or should I say wedding)that it would have been comical if it wasn’t so sad. Three years from now she will be onto husband number three and another big wedding because after all she is Kim K. *rolls eyes*

  47. CHICKIEBOO says:

    WHO WERE THE WEDDING GUESTS AGAIN???

  48. Madisyn says:

    When the guest list was speculated about on another CB post, it said, JLo and Posh Beckham may attend and I remember commenting on the fact that neither one would EVER come to a KardASSian wedding. I didn’t see their names on the guest list above. I guess I was right.

    The guest list sounds like most are either D-list reality ‘stars’ or wannabe’s.

  49. Bella says:

    Heard they MADE 15 to 18 million on the wedding.

  50. alex says:

    Beautrice: Honey, do you know KK personally cause if you don’t I am so sorry for you. To love someone till death when you don’t personally know them is really really sad

  51. Mary jones says:

    When Lilo and Dina are invited to your wedding its definately A list! Lol the pictures of Lindsay and Dina are hilarious low rent Vegas hookers.

  52. jc126 says:

    If she used all-white for her bridesmaids, she absolutely was copying Kate Middleton’s wedding. Totally. They’d never have done it otherwise.

  53. LeeLoo says:

    Despite how snobby and entitled she may come off as, I think Kim actually has a head on her shoulders and has enough sense to marry someone who sincerely loves her and meets her requirements. I actually hope her marriage works out. I wish her the best.

  54. Rhiley says:

    I hate Wolfgang puck. His food tastes like the sh$t they used to serve on airplanes. I have a theory that if the food and drinks aren’t memorable, the marriage ain’t going to last.
    But I am sure Kim has finally found her soul mate and they will be together forever, or until her mother tells her it is time for a divorce.

  55. Claire78 says:

    Thank god its over. If that is close to what her dress was like its hideous. Vera Wang does some lovely dresses. Wedding list wasn’t great. I guess she is expected to invite all the whole E reality ‘stars’. I am not a fan, but I just don’t understand why she would marry that guy, he creeps me out.

  56. Amanda says:

    Was that first picture really the dress she wore?

  57. Camille says:

    Well they nailed Kims vacant stare on her Wax figure didn’t they.

    As for the wedding stuff: yawn.

  58. AB says:

    Wow! Kim’s wax figure looks better (and slimmer) than the original!

  59. Jingo Jango says:

    Ha Ha . . .that wax figure looks like Debbie Gibson dressed up like Kim Kardashian. I wonder if Debbie was a stand-in?

  60. J.D.M.J. says:

    The fact that Lohan and mom were in attendance screams the level of celebrity the Kardashians are. Bottom of the rung.

    My thoughts exactly, with the exception that I said “bottom feeders.”

  61. Koolkitty says:

    Love how the wax figure has the same white-under-the-eyes-from-too-much-hi-def-spackle as the “real” one…hehhh

  62. Nudgie says:

    The good thing is that you can tell they are in love – she married a basketball player who will never be on a championship team, and he married someone whose sex tape shows her ego is bigger than her ass.

    I wish them well. Money can’t buy you love and the only thing Lard-ass-ians love is MONEY.

    Bruce Jenner has now gone from “World’s Greatest Athlete” to “World’s Biggest P-Whipped.”

    God bless them all.

  63. jover says:

    Agree with deven and truthful; I don’t get how the Kartrashian’s get invited on talk shows, events, fashion nite out events, and are treated like royalty, but someone like Sarah Palin is openly mocked (deservedly so); yes, i know this isn’t a perfect analogy, the kartrashians are as useless and dopey as Sarah Palin, Is it simply that you can be trashy, useless, narcissistic, anti-intellectual, greedy, but as long as you are not a rep or conservative, these traits are waived.

  64. ZenB!tch says:

    I just lost what little respect I had for Eva Longoria

  65. Evelyn says:

    I can’t hate the kardashians, most of them seem nice, and they love their family, so hate me all you want but I like them. And I wish her nothing but happiness in her marriage

  66. Cirque28 says:

    No, no, no, the wax dummy looks NOTHING like her. The real Kim K would never wear that tacky white blazer!

    ROFL

  67. Skinnybetch says:

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. They seem like the most boring couple ever. I will say, however, she’s come along way from her blowing d list celebrities on camera days.

  68. eternalcanadian says:

    I give this marriage 16 months. After all Kim needs to get knocked up. I feel bad for Kris, and I mean the groom, not the mother of the bride. He’s gonna be messed up. At least Lamar is older and can stand up to the enmasse of estrogen in that whacked out family because lord knows Rob and Bruce have no say-so, at all. Never mind Scott, he won’t be around much longer as Kourtney keeps telling everyone she doesn’t love him and that he was just sperm donation.

  69. SweetLou says:

    I’m sorry people…but I think Kim is beautiful and fabulous! **covering my face** No matter how much botox she has used, she’s a gorgeous girl, and lets ‘face’ it (hehehe) she would never be getting all this attention if she wasn’t! Kourtney is ‘ewwwww’ inside and out though, booooo!!!! lol

  70. jessica says:

    Everyone knows that Kim kardashian truly loved Reggie Bush. This shmuck Kris Humphries is a foolish guy who like most guys in Hollywood, loves plastic and dermal fillers and money. You can clearly see that Kim doesnt really love Kris, she only married him because she is 31 in two months and got desperate. Biologically time is runnig out for ‘mrs Humphries’ and she is was clearly jelous about her sister’s long term relationships and her own constant breakups. Getting marrried a year after she break up with her ex of four years to a man she knew for 6 months is pretty funny to be honest. Just shows that even rich famous women like the Kardashians have their insecurities too. Anyway, Kim’s marriage is only based on endorsements, financial gain and attention seeking. Anyone with a WORKING brain knows that. Those of you who think its for love and lifetime commitment are terribly mistaken.

  71. Firecracker says:

    Thank you, Celebitchy, for only having one article on this!

  72. jc126 says:

    They showed a clip from this tacky spectacle on the Today show, and in profile, I noticed Kris Humphries’ jaw is very pronounced. He has somewhat of that look that you see on a lot of NBAers, kind of acromegaly-looking.

  73. Kim says:

    Total D list wedding guests for the most part.

  74. danielle says:

    OMG! Did you see the pics of Linnocent looking like Jenna Jamison to go to Kardashian’s wedding?!?! The pics are on Daily Mail. Also, to Kris KArdashian wear a wedding dress to her daughter’s wedding?!? Cause that’s freaky.

  75. Sassy says:

    She looked fat in that gown. Poufy tulle skirt distorted her look and made her look like a potato dumpling. She is quite a bit heavier than a few years ago. The woman looks pretty darn good in form fitting gowns, so why would Vera design the exact opposite for the schlep down the aisle moment? I watched E at 6 pm last evening. The guest list? Very low end.

  76. Mourning the Death of Music says:

    I too saw a clip from the Today show. “Classy, elegant, sophisticated” were some of the words they used to describe the entire affair.

    I think the Today show needs a new dictionary. Because, clearly they have a strong misunderstanding of the definition of those terms.

  77. Palermo says:

    These two barely know each other. I saw a clip last night where he couldn’t believe she was acting so childishly on vacation and he also said “you were married before??” If they last a year I’ll be shocked

  78. Str8Shooter says:

    @Hairball: My sentiments EXACTLY. Why the fuck does anyone care about these boring ass people?

    Amazing. Only in America can one get urinated on, then parlay that into ‘royal’ wedding.

  79. Judith N. says:

    You don’t even know the half of it! These purveyors of all things glittery, have spread their air-head philosophy of life to such unknown states as Nigeria; where E! is seen as candy floss for the intellectually immature and fantasy-world dwellers.So sad that they are ‘role-models’ to some people.

  80. Tan says:

    I bet when KH kisses her he taste RJ’S sperm YUCK!!!

  81. ken says:

    She seriously spoke poorly of Minnesota (ye-haw MN)? The Twin Cities was voted one of the top metro areas to live, the Mall of America has some of the best retailers in the country (no Dash please), Target Field is rated the #1 MLB field in the country, Minnesota’s children consistently score higher on tests than those from several other states, including California. The only reason why we do not have over population: our winters. Guess what, we are all very happy to live in a beautiful, well culture state whose residents are friendly, well-educated, and much more classy than the ‘K’ family. In fact, we associate with several people that have more class in their little pinky fingers than Kim has in her whole ugly body!

  82. PatBrown says:

    Is it just me or did Kris Humpfries have his chin/jaw fixed?

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