Michael Fassbender doesn’t want any Fass-babies at the moment


Oh, Fassbender, my love for thee is constant and unyielding, a persistent weed in your rolling field of ginger wheat. Also, I like your dong. You know what’s funny? By far, the most mail I get is from the Fass-loonies, and yet not all of my posts about Fassie are big comment-getters. Why is that? Are you Fassloonies just lurkers, unsure of whether or not you should openly declare your love, especially given my slut dagger threats? You bitches have got my number! Seriously, though, there’s enough Fassie to go around. He’s mine, but I’ll share him (sometimes). So all of ye Fassloonies, cometh. Speaking of coming (srsly), Michael has a newish interview in The Times (Magazine). I read the print edition yesterday, and there are some juicy quotes in here. I love his interviews so much – Michael is…real. Sure, he has moments where I think he’s slightly pretentious, but for the most part, he’s just a good actor who doesn’t mind talking about himself, and he’s got a very well-adjusted outlook on life. He’s not angsty, he’s not morose, but he’s not uncomfortably happy either. He’s just funny, wry, intelligent and rather kind. I love him.

On his Prometheus hair (short and blond): “I thought I looked like a ten-quid rentboy.”

On flying below the radar, unlike his ‘Basterds’ costar Brad Pitt: “A young female fan base is the toughest to slip and slide away from. I don’t suppose Robert Pattinson could just stroll down to Tesco without getting mobbed. It is nice to be able to go out and continue to observe people, a luxury as an actor.”

On his family’s financial troubles when he was young: “I’d ask for trainers or fashionable clothes and be told we couldn’t afford them. It teaches you a lot. It surprises me the people of my age who turn around and say, ‘It’s not fair!’ I learnt that very young. You always have to be smiling and happy when you’re in front of the house, no matter what is going on in the kitchen or in your own life.”

On his extreme weight loss for Hunger: “It’s pretty frightening. I started to understand how mentally all-encompassing it becomes and what it must be like for people with eating disorders. I was kind of monk-like. It was like 40 days and 40 nights alone in the desert…”

On LA: “I’m afraid of what I could become if I lived in LA for too long.”

On being self-reliant and liking solitude: “I think that is my trump card in this industry. That when I put my mind to something, I go for it uncompromisingly.”

On relationships: “If you have a relationship you can work around it by focusing on the time you have together, which helps you not take each other for granted.”

On Fass-babies: He sounds far from wanting to start a family, asking how with such a haphazard life, away for weeks or rising at 4 am, he could be a good father. “I’d want to be able to put them before everything else. But at the moment my job is the most important thing for me. I want to give it everything I can.”

[From The Times, print edition]

So… when Michael and I marry, I won’t get pregnant right away. That’s fine with me. I’ll enjoy “practicing” with the Fassdong for months. Years, even. All in the name of his career! What do you think about his comments about relationships and babies? As much as I enjoy joking around about The Fassbender, I don’t actually get the impression that he’s a womanizer. I think he’s very confident with women (obviously, the man is sex on sticks), and he could very easily bed most women he comes across, but he doesn’t. I never hear stories about him like I do with, say, Gerard Butler, or even Ryan Gosling. Either Michael is out there, boning everything that moves and he just keeps his junk tight, OR he’s happier in a relationship, however transitory, and he’s not out to get his rocks off with a different girl every single night. Sigh… single Fassbender. We need to introduce him to Rihanna. Imagining their sex life together… that’s really, really hot.


Oh, and Michael just signed on for another new film called 12 Years a Slave. It’s being directed by Steve McQueen, the director of Shame and Hunger. McQueen and Fassie are tight, and you can read more about the project here. Brad Pitt’s producing!

UPDATE: Um, the trailer for Shame just came out today. JESUS CHRIST, FASSIE. I won’t be able to work for the rest of the day. Just… prepare yourselves. He pants throughout the whole thing. And when he whispers, “Slowly”… my biscuits were all “PRAISE JESUS!!” I am a believer. Fassie is magnificent.

Some new photos:




Some old photos:




Scans from the print edition of The Times courtesy of MF Online.

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61 Responses to “Michael Fassbender doesn’t want any Fass-babies at the moment”

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  1. Natalie says:

    And on the seventh day God created Michael Fassbender, mmmmmmmmmmh

  2. mln76 says:

    I love the Fassy posts but sometimes I get too overheated to comment :)

  3. Nanea says:

    “I’m afraid of what I could become if I loved in LA for too long.”

    Nice typo there, Kaiser!

    I guess that’s why he has to relocate to your parts of the world, stat.

    Am I right, or am I right?

  4. Kaiser says:

    Whoops! Fixed it. He’s so beautiful. I just can’t even…

    *falls out of chair in a Fass-reverie*

  5. wtf says:

    The trailer is damn intense. I love his positive attitude to the fame and that he doesn’t want to live in LA. Also he doesn’t have tabloid stories about hook ups, which shows actors can have a private life if they want and not hire publicist.

  6. Dorothy#1 says:

    Wow! I must see that movie!!

  7. Nessa says:

    Wow, I need to see this movie!!!

    Great post, Kaiser. I am on board with Fassie. He is pure sex.

  8. Shaye says:

    ten quid rentboy? Yes please…

  9. Jen34 says:

    Kaiser, I said a silent prayer for you when I saw the photos of January Jones’s red-haired baby.

    My lord, that trailer is hot.

  10. Anguishedcorn says:

    Good God Almighty. What a way to jumpstart my morning.

  11. sassenach says:

    Goodness, it was WAY too early for me to see that trailer. He is so damn sexy. I will be seeing Shame opening weekend.

  12. Cristina says:

    Yes, my biscuits, they need fanning.

  13. madpoe says:

    Looks great! Can’t wait to see it!
    Gotta respect the man for not turning into a manwhore or appearing at every single star studded event at the drop of a hat. Seems like a private, charming gentleman with a huge *coughs* acting chops! On another note, when I release him from my bedroom chambers and he runs into Kaiser’s arms. Perhaps you can get him to stop or minimize the grey/silver suits? Grow his hair back too.

  14. Leticia says:

    I don’t see what everyone else sees in him.

  15. Kimbob says:

    Can’t wait to see the movie! Yes, he oozes sex, no doubt. I have a soft spot for gingers…and I’m one, too.

    I just LOVE IT that he’s so grounded. Love his comment about Hollyweird….it is so true. I’m glad to hear that he won’t be turning into a douche anytime soon! SO REFRESHING!

    Edit: Oh…Fassie and Riri?! HELL TO THE NO! I know he likes women of color, but he can do so much better than that!

  16. Bellydancer says:

    I momentarily left my body when he threw Nicole Beharie onto the bed I was literally flying through the air with her. Damn that trailer was hot!!!!

  17. madpoe says:

    I’m just adding I can’t co-sign that RiRi thing either.

    I do like Sofia Vergara, Zoe Saldano or the lovely Naomie Harris from “28 Days Later”. Hell maybe even Adele! But in a perfect world, he would date outside of the entertainment industry.

  18. NancyMan says:

    I grant that Fassbender is extremely good-looking- especially when he wants to be. But, I am amazed at the ability of English, Scottish and Irish actors to let their appearance swing from hot to god-awful and then back to hot seemingly at will. Its amazing.

  19. marybeth18 says:

    Well, hello panties.

    What are you doing on the floor?

  20. SaftD says:

    He and Nicole Beharie had such great chemistry. Ive seen the film twice and it’s amazing.

  21. Gretchen says:

    I’m going to listen to that panting over and over again and pretend he’s doing it on top of me….

  22. Chickie Baby says:

    Golly, I love this hunkety hunk of man.

    You compared him to Gerard Butler…but think about this: Fassie is about 10 yrs younger that the G-Man. When Gerry was still an up-and-comer about 10 years ago (in his early 30′s, much like Fassie is now), some of his interviews at the time were along the same lines as Mike’s are now. And over the years, Gerry has sort of embraced his playboy image and rolled with it. Mike may not be a public player, but he could be evolving into that sort of guy as his career grows.

    No matter what, though, I’ll still watch his movies. He’s just great.

  23. omj says:

    Where the eff is HGF? For realsies. Like a few pics of (the admittedly stone-cold fox of a man that is) the Fass would ever satisfy me. Pah.
    Give me variety, or give me death!

  24. podzol says:

    What an incredibly beautiful trailer (the poster is ace too). I can’t recall the last time I’ve wanted to trade places with a (movie) hussie. Glad to see MF get all the accolades he deserves! The funniest thing is that lotsa members of the press (men and women alike) can barely contain their monstrous crush on Fassy, journalistic neutrality be damned. No kidding, the man is not only a great actor, his body is like the living embodiment of the Michaelangelo (not like those overpumped bodies à la Kellan Lutz).

  25. Dibba says:

    I guess I need to get out more. Have no idea who this is.

  26. Kata says:

    Fassie! I love these ginger-beardy pictures the best…I had a fetish for hot gingers that became an all out obsession when fassbender showed up, and my pants exploded.

  27. He is the epitome of perfection in the first pic! I get it now! I will SEE Shame for sure.

  28. podzol says:

    Oh, and yuck on the RiRi front. I find her trashy and a bit dumb. Surely there’s sensual yet classier people to pair him with. Eva Green? YES PLEASE.

  29. Anne de Vries says:

    he lives in Hackney? I spend last weekend walking around there… I would have been on the lookout :-)

  30. celine says:

    KAISEEEEERR u gotta write about january’s red headed baby…i wanna know what u think i just checked some photos and i’m seriously scaaaheeerd….kaiser tell me everything is going to be okay. omg omg i can’t breath…i’m breaking down

  31. Kaiser says:

    Celine – I saw the photos of Xander, and he didn’t look ginger to me. He looks like he has his mom’s dirty-blonde hair. Plus, I’m pretty sure the dad is Matthew Vaughn, so meh.

  32. Turtle Dove says:

    Amazing trailer. Shame looks excellent; a must see.

    It has to be a weird reality for him to grow up poor and then have access to so much now. That early childhood impoverishment creates a hunger in some people for a connection to the things that they didn’t have – a desire to connect with shared cultural experiences.

    Edit – Rihanna…. NO. Just…. no.

    January Jones – Again… no. If he finds women that bland, insipid and vanilla attractive then I will immediately fall out of new Fassie-fangirl (boner) love.

  33. emmab says:

    oh i didn’t even know we could mail you! well, there’s a constant fassywatch on ontd (3 new fassy stories in one day) and those are garnering a ton of comments so maybe fassloonies are commented out?

    i love all of fassbender’s interviews so far. he sounds thoughtful and articulate and humble and nice and rather mild, which contrasts with his intense hotness. very irresistible.

    does the brad pitt link mean michael will meet angelina, because i’d really really like for that to happen.
    imagine angie from 10 years ago. maneating, motorbike riding, extreme, intense, angie.

  34. celine says:

    a’ight we wait until the baby gets older, but still i am not satisfied =P.

    can’t believe u can handle that so cooly (not an actual word).

    good, i’ll be fine.

  35. emmab says:

    oh and kaiser, i saw aaron eckhart handsomely squinting in your rum diary post and it reminded me to request sawyer stories from you. where’s the josh holloway??

  36. SFRowGuy says:

    Michael, hook up with me. I promise you won’t get any babies out of me.

  37. Lairen says:

    What is ‘Shame’ about? A sex addict? I’m just wondering because the trailer didn’t tip me off at all and now I feel stupid.

  38. podzol says:

    @ emmab: Aaron Eckhart! Love him. Too bad he doesn’t creep up enough in CB posts or other blogs for that matter. He was superb in Conversations with other Women (with Helena Bonham-Carter) and Thank You for Smoking. I actually find many similarities between MF and AE but Eckhart kind of fell off the radar, too bad.

  39. Julie says:

    Oh man, that trailer. I love his breathing throughout the video. The way it gets faster, and faster, and faster…….

  40. Bellydancer says:

    I wonder if Kaiser’s other lover The Clivedong is feeling neglected due to her attention to The Fassdong right now. Le sigh! It’s tough having too many lovers plus with Michael being hung like a damn stallion he may actually ruin Kaiser for any other man anyway.

  41. emmab says:

    @ podzol! yes! aaron eckhart doesn’t get enough love. i LOVE him in thank you for smoking and i’m surprised he didn’t explode into more leading man status after the dark knight. and now that you pointed it out, i do find there are a lot of similarities between MF and AE.

    well, there’s at least 2 of for team eckhart.

  42. Alexis says:

    Hmm, this looks pretty awesome. I can’t even wait. I’m one of the (generally) lurking Fassloonies, I guess.

  43. miss silver says:

    Fassie could not walk around my neighborhood without getting mobbed — and I live in an over-55 retirement community.

  44. katy says:

    OMG i finally get it!!!! WOW i can’t believe i’ve been missing out. Kaiser your taste in men is impeccable, i’ll never doubt you again lol

  45. LittleDeadGrrl says:

    Tall and Handsome. Just the way I liked them. I love the Fassbender since X-Men and Jane Eyre. I can’t wait for his next movie …

    @Bellydancer brings up a good point. Is the Clivedong jealous? When are we getting another letter?

  46. Cat says:

    Riri? Please, no. She’s an annoying twat. He could do leaps and bounds better than her.

  47. birdie says:

    Haha, I love that you love him so much! I have the same feelings for Benedict Cumberbatch <3. I really enjoy reading these Fassdong posts and I enjoys gingers as well!

  48. Original Bee says:

    Omg, the Shame trailer is HOT. 2 hours of Fassbender panting on top of various women. What more could you ask for?

  49. LucyOriginal says:

    This movie is incredible. Every second of it. Kaiser, the way you described Fassie towards women, it’s the vibe I got when I was walking side by side with him.

  50. Original Bee says:

    @bellydancer ITA! My favorite part of the trailer is when he throws Nicole onto the bed. I want Fassbender to throw me onto a bed, the floor, a table, the backseat of his car, up against a wall, etc.

  51. luls says:

    Kaiser! u shud post more vids of Michael!! He’s a million times more beautiful in motion! Pictures do him no justice!

    But seriously, im SO watching this movie!

  52. Susie says:

    Kaiser, I’ll stop lurking and comment right here…attending the LA premiere of A DANGEROUS METHOD next Wednesday. Will try and report every Fasstastic detail. He’d better show…

  53. Pippa says:

    WAIT… HE LIVES IN HACKNEY?! AND GOES TO TESCO?!?! Jesus christ I’m never leaving tesco again.

  54. poodlemom says:

    He has the prettiest blue eyes!

  55. Fassman Cometh says:

    When I saw Shame last weekend, I thought his time with Nicole B. was waaaaay too short–considering how incredibly hot their scene actually was (she got more out of him than the other chicks did, as far as decorum goes, though). And yeah, he throws her on that bed, all right. Forget Rihanna–let him hook up with Nicole!

    And no disappointment with the Fassdong either. It’s all the way live, in color and ready for business, a lion on the rise. All good!

  56. JulieM says:

    I know this is as Fassdong thread, but the other actor you see and hear in this trailer is the New York based actor James Badge Dale. He is a really fine actor who is finally getting some big screen time. He plays Fassie’s boss, the one who says “your hard drive is really filthy”. He was one of the three Marines chronicled in The Pacific and starred recently in the AMC show Rubicon. Some really great acting and writing on that show. I will never forgive AMC for canceling it in favor of that zombie thing. He is not classically handsome like the Fass is, but has rugged appeal; my opinion only, of course. It’s hard to tell from the trailer, but it looks like he has a good sized supporting role.

    Fassman Cometh: Since you’ve seen the movie, how big is Badge Dale’s part? (We all know how big Fassie’s “part” is!)

    OK, back to your regularly scheduled Fassdong drool.

  57. Camille says:

    Ooh Shame looks good.

    Have to admit it, I’m a fan (just not a loon about it lol).

  58. pwal says:

    Fassman Cometh:
    October 15th, 2011 at 9:44 pm

    When I saw Shame last weekend, I thought his time with Nicole B. was waaaaay too short–considering how incredibly hot their scene actually was (she got more out of him than the other chicks did, as far as decorum goes, though).


    And that’s why I haven’t joined in the ticker-tape parade. With all of this talk about a possible NC-17 because we (may) see his jammie, they opt to crop down the scene with the sista. That’s the thing that the studios are nervous about? Really?

    I’m sorry that I’m getting ahead of myself, but it’s really a pet peeve of mine – the skittishness of showing a White Man with a Black Woman in a potentially equal, mutual sexual context. And the fact that, likely, Fassbender will know how to kiss a sista and kiss her right (and well), since he has been out and about with sistas in the living daylight, is more threatening than seeing his raw d*ck and fierce pelvis-thrusting?

  59. Fassman Cometh says:

    @Julie M.: JBD’s role isn’t huge, but it is an important one, as his character, in my opinion, acts as an ironic force in Brandon’s life and in Cissy’s life (the sister). Both he and Nicole Beharie have small–yet, again, important–parts to play in this film, because through them, Brandon’s behavior manifests itself even more than without them, if that makes any sense. Be sure to catch the flick when and if it comes your way. It’s a beaut!

  60. JulieM says:

    Fassman Cometh: Thanks for the response. Shame is, most definitely, on my list!