Us Weekly: Duchess Kate has a baby “penciled in” for next summer

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As I mentioned yesterday, Duchess Kate and the state of her womb took the covers of several tabloids this week, likely as an effort for the second-tier publications to compete with People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive issue. I missed that Kate also took the cover of Us Weekly too – but unlike In Touch and Star, Us Weekly is claiming that Kate is definitely not pregnant right now, but that she and William have “penciled in” a pregnancy for next year. This girl… she has turned waiting into an art form. Like, she’s her own installation piece. No wonder she wants her charity work to revolve around the art world – her life’s work is Waiting. It is an art. Here are some gems from the Us Weekly piece:

A palace source stresses that Prince William and Kate “are ready to start a family.” Based on the royal couple’s own schedule, baby news could come as soon as 2012. Says the insider, “Next summer would be the perfect time to announce a pregnancy.”

First, Prince William will leave for the Falklands in February. “A date would not be put down for him to go to the Falklands until they knew exactly when they were hoping to start a family,” says a palace insider. Regarding William’s six-week absence, Kate’s confidant says, “It will be a very testing time for her.” She will be alone as a royal for the first time, with barely any contact with her husband.

At the same time, Kate will officially begin a life of royal duties – meeting foreign heads of state, patronizing multiple charities.

The palace source also says the couple don’t want a pregnancy to distract from next spring’s four-day countrywide celebration of the queen’s 60 years on the throne. “William and Catherine do not want to overshadow that.”

But the events will be over by early June, and there is a window to break the news. “Kate’s always planned things in her life meticulously,” says a longtime confidant. “It’s impossible she hasn’t penciled in the right time for having a baby.”

Waiting has always been part of the plan – “Kate has said that she didn’t want to be too young a mother,” says the confidant. “Or else she’d have no wisdom to impart to her children. She will firm but fair – they will have fun and freedom, but I doubt she would let them get out of line!”

“William is the only man she imagined having children with…her university sweetheart will be the father of her children. If only we could all have that luck!”

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

There’s more in there about how Will and Kate really might move to Scotland permanently after Will finishes up in Wales next year, and how Kate would love to raise her kids there. Which I don’t believe. I think Kate likes London. I think she likes shopping and getting her hair done for five hours at a time at her favorite salon, and spending time with her family and gossiping with friends and such. I think she would go bonkers in Scotland if she had to live there for three years as an adult – obviously, she spent four years in Scotland as a student, but that’s different. She was trying to snag a prince – now she’s snagged him. London it is.

But I really wanted to discuss the three laugh lines in the piece. First of all, “At the same time, Kate will officially begin a life of royal duties”… do you see what they did there? They moved back the start date again! She was supposed to buckle down and start doing royal work in January. Now it’s February. Next month it will be March. You see it, right? I’m not hallucinating.

Second laugh line – “Kate’s always planned things in her life meticulously. It’s impossible she hasn’t penciled in the right time for having a baby” – this does not inspire confidence in so many levels. It makes her seem plotting and devious, like she’s a villainess with a master plan, which… I’ll buy that she’s got a devious, plotting streak (she got the prince, after all), but so much of this was an experiment and she didn’t know how it was going to end. She’s not that much of a planner – she’s more of a gambler and a waiter. Also: penciled in? Seriously? Penciling in a time to have a baby is so romantic! Third laugh line – “Kate has said that she didn’t want to be too young a mother…or else she’d have no wisdom to impart to her children.” Wisdom = The Art of Waiting. The Wisdom of Lowered Expectations. The Art of Laziness. The Wisdom of Shifting The Goal Posts.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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63 Responses to “Us Weekly: Duchess Kate has a baby “penciled in” for next summer”

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  1. brin says:

    Perfect timing….after pheasant hunting season and before the holidays!

  2. teehee says:

    I’m sure her uterus is planning it out just the same.

  3. Quest says:

    Baby blueprints are being drafted as we speak.

  4. Flan says:

    She’s too passive and therefore not someone I can respect.

    If only William had gone for someone who had been somewhat interesting…. or gay, that would have been too funny. He wouldn’t have been the first English king either.

  5. GoodCapon says:

    Hideously photoshopped cover.

  6. tapioca says:

    When is Prince Harry going to knock up an Arizona Hooters waitress? That’s the royal baby I’m waiting for!

  7. marge says:

    yeh…. let’s see what mother nature says about “penciling” a baby

  8. Flan says:

    @Tapioca. Something like that would be great. As long as it’s not another woman who has spent the last decade of her life trying to marry a prince.

  9. Anne says:

    If she wants a baby next summer, then she better start now. With her weight and probable eating disorders, having a baby is probably not as easy as “penciling it” in for a certain time.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Share the limelight with a baby? I don’t think so. Waity will put it off as long as the RF lets her. She’s such a phoney.

  11. Emma says:

    I love how people think that can plan a pregnancy for a specific time…but, who knows the truth in this case. Could be a bunch of rubbish.

    Anyway, what’s with that stupid flower pin on her coat? It doesn’t compliment that look one bit.

  12. melmel says:

    I just started reading this website. I love the Waitey Katey and Willy reports. I agree with one of the posters that she should not wait. Does not always happen so fast. Also she is pretty lazy compared to other commoners that married into royalty that had to do a lot more to integrate like LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE. Take Crown Princess Maxima of the Netherlands. She needed to learn dutch. She has three kids and is working like mad, same for Princess Mary of Denmark who needed to learn Danish. Kate does not need to learn another language just some protocol etc. Earn your keep. Cut some ribbons. do something for your country.

  13. constance says:

    They’ve got the money and resources to fake an IVF baby as natural.

    I read those books about Princess Diana’s time as a Royal- painful. I just hope Will isn’t letting his family and money drive his wife to the unhappiness his mother felt. I thought he would be the one to stop the Royal Divinity cycle of being a pawn to your elders’ archaic traditions.

    My British friend says every time we speak of the Wills and Waity, “At least they stopped the insistence of continuing the German ideal of marrying blondes into the royal family.”

    I just laugh and retort “At least your country understand their royals are not completely English. Our country can’t get over the fact our President is actually an American!”

    @anon I’m with you. This is her big dream. She’s not going to let some suckling take her spot in the light just yet. She’s waited 10 years for this!

  14. madpoe says:

    *heavy sighs*

    Is she nothing more than a walking womb housed on stick figure legs?

    Just read somewhere she’s 6 weeks and there’ll be three nurseries. I can already hear her interview of how much pressure her life has been, a reminding echo of Princess Diana.

  15. S says:

    @Emma in Britain and Canada (I know these 2 countries for sure) poppies are worn for Remembrance Day. She’s not making a fashion statement there, you’ll notice in other pictures that everyone is wearing a poppy. She did try to spruce hers up by wearing a couple, the Queen did that as well, but most people just wear one.

  16. Laurie M. says:

    I wonder what Kate & Will would do if they have trouble conceiving? I hope for them (and everyone) fast and healthy pregnancies, but has a royal couple ever dealt with fertility challenges?

  17. L says:

    @emma The poppies are not a fashion statement. It’s for Remembrance Day. It’s on what was originally armistice day remembering the end of WWI. It now recognizes all veterans, and in Canada/UK/Commonwealth countries is known at Remembrance Day-in the US it’s Veterans Day.

    Also all this tizzy and judging Kate over US Weekly. Common it’s US weekly. I like the woman, but there’s plenty of other stuff to get up in arms about vs. the womb watch of 2nd tier tabloids because everyone is reading People this week.

  18. eternalcanadian says:

    @Laurie M: Yes, Edward and Sophie had fertility and pregnancy issues probably related to Sophie’s age (she was pushing 40) where she had an ectopic pregnancy (which had to be ended) then it took two years to get pregnant with Louise which had serious emergency issues that resulted in an early delivery. Then it took a long time to conceive James who was born when Sophie was 42 years old (there’s suspicion, but no confirmation Sophie was taking fertility prescriptions). That’s why I say Catherine shouldn’t be going around “penciling in” a pregnancy or scheduling around the Queen’s 60th stuff.

    As for Catherine’s comment about not wanting to be too young a mum, how old was her own mother when she had Catherine? Was that too young? I don’t think so.

    @Emma: Catherine is wearing a poppy (or two) which is to mark Remembrance Day and honour the military where we remember the dead, the wounded, the veterans, and the active military personnel. Have you not heard of “In Flanders Fields?” Even kids in the USA know that poem and honour their military with Veterans Day although they don’t seem to wear poppies as much (and they should!).

  19. diana says:

    @Kaiser: hahahahaha the photos you choose for waity are something else! bahahaa! I love you!

  20. Miladie29 says:

    As long as the pregnancy is announced after the Queen’s Jubilee, I don’t care. They better not take away the attention from Her Majesty’s 60 YEARS on the throne. She’s the only royal in the Windsor clan I’m actually so glad I’m paying my hard-earned taxpayer’s money for. Lovely, classy, hardworking, and extremely dedicated woman.

    I shudder to think of who is going to be Queen after her. Camilla or Kate…who’s the lesser of two evils. Yikes.

    And yes, Kate has mastered the art of Waiting and molding herself to whatever person William wants her to be.

    We’ve yet to see her doing something on her own that requires more responsibility – like giving a speech or visiting a school by herself, without William there to point out to her where to stand, where to sign, where to walk, etc. Most of what she’s done so far is following William around and going to charity balls/galas. Not really different from what she used to do as Waity Katy: dressing up and partying in the name of ‘charity’.

    The only things Kate has going for her is Diana’s ring, William, her awful eyeliner, and her big hair. Take those away and she’s empty with an unimpressive profile. She was defined by her waiting for William to propose and being lazy, and now she’s defined by her marriage to William and being lazy. When the baby comes, you can bet it’s going to be defining her.

    It’s quite sad that she spent her 20s revolving her life around William and not carving her own niche in society, whether it be through a career or charity work. Many people wait around for a marriage proposal, too, but those people also work to support themselves and don’t rely on their parents’ money to keep up their lazy lifestyle.

    And now they’re saying she’ll be starting royal duties at the same time she gets pregnant? We are in for a nightmare with Waity and her lazy ass.

    I can’t believe my taxes are gonna be paid to keep up this lazy girl’s luxurious lifestyle.

    And Kaiser, I love that photo you included of Kate in Copenhagen. Look at those eyes: vacant, empty, unemotional. She has no warmth and genuine interest in what was happening. Her idea of being “serious” is to widen her eyes and tilt her head. Even at “listening” she can’t do a good job. WTF.

  21. Sisi says:

    I cannot believe that the eyeliner never bothered me before like it did with all you guys & gals, but now I can’t look past it. That make-up is horrible.

  22. Luise says:

    OMG. Can you just imagine the boring chatter we will have to endure when the blessed event does occur? God, give us all strength.

  23. The Original Mia says:

    She hasn’t penciled in anything. Only her eyeliner. The RF might want a pregnancy announcement to coincide with the Queen’s Jubilee or the Olympics. She won’t be heavily pregnant, but she’ll definitely be in her 2nd trimester.

  24. Anonymous says:

    Do you think she might read things written about her? She strikes me as the type to sit on the computer for hours, typing and re-tying her name. Mrs. Waity Windsor. Waity the Wonderful. Will’s Waity. Every so often she takes a break, straightens her weave and reapplies her eyeliner. She’s kept the “scar” side of her head suspiciously covered since that incident happened.

  25. UKHels says:

    I love all this wild speculation about what may or may not happen next year – can you imagine what it’s going to be like when she does actually have a baby?

    let’s face it, no-one knows, it’s highly unlikely that a genuine ‘palace source’ is phoning up trashy US magazines to discuss the mating habits of the future king ha ha

  26. HoustonGrl says:

    God. I really tried to like this woman. Why? Because I hate actively disliking someone. However, I just can’t help it with Waity. Showing up and smiling once a month does-not-a-purpose-make! It would be different if she had proven herself at any point up til now, but she hasn’t. How any member of the British public can respect her is beyond me!

  27. LAK says:

    @ Emma – Anyway, what’s with that stupid flower pin on her coat? It doesn’t compliment that look one bit.
    ==========================================

    That ‘stupid flower’ is a poppy, worn in Britain in the lead upto and on Remembrance day. It is a visual symbol to remember the fallen soldiers, initially of WWI, and now all wars.

    The majority of Britons, you do get the indifferent and dissenters, wear them on our lapels.

  28. LAK says:

    @Diana – whilst reading that article, and especially the note about press hounding her, i was strongly reminded of what happened to Carolyn Bessette Kennedy who also married her prince at 30, but was unable either by choice or circumstances to leave the house thereafter.

    That said, she had a career, wanted to work, didn’t tailor her life to that of the wealthy, high profile men she dated and therein lies the difference.

    Personally, i have no problem with someone not wanting to work, as long as i don’t have to pay for them. The HUGE problem with waity is that she is sold, past and present, as someone who, but for circumstances, wants and is willing to work.

    Her not working is really not good in the face of an anachronistic institution reliant on public good will. If the 90+year old Duke of Edinburgh is working, why can’t she? The survival of the mornachy is very dependent on public good will, so perhaps she should have married a different rich, titled aristo and stayed at home doing nothing.

    Finally, i really think if she stopped all the palace ‘leaks’, ‘sources’, friends of’ about her work intentions, we probably would snark less.

  29. Alexis says:

    why does she look 10 years older than she is? She needs to soften up her facial expressions too.

  30. benny says:

    Who cares? The last thing the world needs is another Windsor. What the world shoud be doing is figuring out a way to disqualify to 200 or so people who are ahead of Crown Princess Victoria for the British throne. Victoria is smart (studied at Yale), hard working, interned at the United Nations, kind, and all-around likeable. No Windsor can compare. It’s strange how tabloids care so much about the British royal family when they are such losers. But maybe that’s what makes for good tabloid!

  31. Cerulean says:

    Heaven help us with this pointless woman. Why did he marry her? I can’t believe it was for love.

    It makes me glad to have moved to America. I don’t have to support her sorry arse. I would be really peeved watching her lazy self shopping and doing nothing. She makes William look like a fool.

    I’m with tapioca. Harry and a Hooter’s waitress. Pencil it for next month!

  32. serenitea says:

    Miladie29 — your comment about her eyes — OMG — brilliant and spot on. This is a horrible, chilling thing to say but no discernible soul there and completely lacking in affect.

  33. iseepinkelefants says:

    Uh she still doesn’t have anything to teach them since she’s done fuck all with her life. Perhaps she’ll leave the boys to learn from William and she’ll teach the girls how to nab rich men, but this time she’ll set her sights higher, she’ll get one of her girls to after another kingdom.

    As for this whole bs about them being “university soulmates” was that before of after all of the other girls William slept with during and after his university days? The US media are so thick.

  34. iseepinkelefants says:

    eternalcanadian – we don’t wear poppies because we either wear or put up our flag.

  35. iseepinkelefants says:

    UKHels – I wouldn’t put anything past the Royals. They know the only way they can stick around is if the UK believes that their tourism really relies on the RF (when anyone with a brain knows it has nothing to do with the current Windsors). For them to do that they needs to create buzz around the world. Waity isn’t interesting enough to keep the US’s attention so I wouldn’t put it past Royal insiders to feed a crumb every now and again to keep the boring life of Waity interesting. Afterall, unless Harry marries, their survival really relies and Waity and Wills to keep them relevant enough to foist the argument of their continued existence on their “subjects”.

  36. Mrs.Krabapple says:

    Yes, she’s lazy. That’s pretty obvious. But there’s more to it than that. She’s a total doormat for the royal family. If they wanted her to do more, she would be doing more.

    But they don’t want her doing more because she might embarrass them. Her silly small talk with the queen probably had the queen thinking “what a simpleton – why did we agree to this marriage?” Laughing at inappropriate times when she’s supposed to be somber. Her “job” is not that difficult, yet she still cannot do it properly. I absolutely believe the royal family thinks she needs more “training” before they will trust her to open her mouth in public.

    As for William’s “love”? I’m sure he’s happy in the marriage because he got what he wanted (i.e., what his family wanted for him): a doormat. But that doesn’t equate to him loving Kate. You can’t love someone you don’t respect.

    And I think that’s why she starves herself. She got want she wanted (or thought she wanted), but I’ll bet she’s lonely because nobody in the royal family has befriended her, and since she spent her entire adult life catering to William, she doesn’t have any real friends. Her eating disorder is (1) a cry for attention, which won’t work. The royal family will only be embarrassed by it and ignore it the way Charles ignored Diana. People like to think William is a younger Diana, but he seems very much like his father to me. It is also (2) the only thing in her life that she controls herself.

    I blame her for not working before she met William, and being such a simpleton (she went to college for God’s sake – didn’t she study at all)? But her low number of public duties is entirely controlled by the royal family, as is every single aspect of her life. Blame them.

  37. Dibba says:

    I hope the baby has an upper lip and escapes an eating disorder.

  38. iseepinkelefants says:

    Mrs.Krabapple – well said, and sadly no I do not think William is anything like Diana. I read an article once detailing his and Harry’s “romances” and I came out of it detesting him. He and Harry came off like frat boys treating women like crap.

    Now yes I know that just because we read it doesn’t make it true, and I’m sure some of Diana’s goodwill rubbed off on him, but there’s no denying he is a lot like Charles and I think he was too young to really take in all of Diana’s good qualities. He’s a Windsor, he can’t help it.

    As for Waity she has no friends of her own (everyone that knows her without William says she’s a “mystery” which to me is code for no personality), she had no career but I think she’s happy with it. William can run off with some other girl and Waity will still be the perfect wife because after 9 years I’m sure it became less about an attraction or love for William and more about his family, title and fame (god she sure loves the cameras no? I don’t remember he being like that before).

    In that instance good for them that they can have a partnership and let each other do their own thing. Would I ever marry man who would cheat on me and stick by him? No but then again I wouldn’t chase a man or put off a career for one either. I’ll concede that Waity is what she is and I’ll never understand it. That doesn’t mean I have to like her though.

  39. Penguin says:

    He s a balding bore and she looks old enough to be his mother. Hope she doesn’t get pregnant, they’ll be in the papers even more then. These two are over exposed.

  40. Mrs.Krabapple says:

    Personally, I am not jealous of Kate any more than I am jealous of Princess Charlene (which is not at all). I dislike that they are held up as role models, and that the press tries to perpetuate the “princess” myth. It’s degrading to women.

    I don’t think either one is truly happy, being married to men who don’t love them, have cheated on them in the past and probably will in the future, having every aspect of their lives controlled for public appearance. I think they are under tremendous stress, and it shows – just look how old and thin they both are. That is not a sign of healthy, happy life.

    But nobody forced them into this (ok, maybe Charlene was forced – the jury’s still out on that one). This is the sole “goal” these type of women “worked” for, for years. Why should I have any respect for that?

    So while I feel sorry for them, I also dislike them for perpetuating the doormat role for women. And I dislike their husbands even more, for treating their wives this way.

  41. just a patsy says:

    @ #26 – diana

    That article is subversive! I love how that woman describes her relations with Kate. Kate basically treaded on her royal connection to use (for free!) a fancy beach house in Mustique and get a very flexible part time job. “Kate just called me up and wanted to talk about work” – Kate basically asked for a huge favor, creating a special low-commitment job, from a stranger and provided nothing but publicity in return. I especially love how the lady says, very politely, but still quite subversively, kate couldn’t be expected to have a real job if she was to carry on with her high profile man (men come first!) Kate was living a life where she needed to be at William’s beck and call!

    And she spent 9 years like that! It was the least he could do to marry the poor girl! He should’ve married her as soon as he started expecting her to drop everything whenever he called.

  42. diana says:

    @ Annette I actually laugh with my mom at this photos of her. Again good job Kaiser on picking out the most relevant photos! And you know what this is not an website where only americans are posting. And yes she does something to me personally: she does nothing for the taxmoney she lives off! My tax money! I like the Queen! And started to like her more and more lately….very hard working woman, smart and classy! This dude with a wig I can’t stand!

  43. fabgrrl says:

    What is wrong with “penciling in” having a baby? Becoming a parent is the most important decision of your life. It is something you should damn well plan out and prepare for. I planned my first pregnancy out so that I would have a full year working at my job and could qualify for full maternity leave. And I spaced my next one so that my kids would have the ideal (to me) age difference. It’s called being responsible with your fertility.

  44. Nanea says:

    There are two big events next year, the Olympics and QE II’s Diamond Jubilee.

    They won’t be having a baby then, if they can help it, what with all the official appearances.

    I don’t get how people think that Kate is stupid, she’s got a degree from St Andrews after all.

  45. Anne says:

    The comments about Kate being lazy, being too thin to get pregnant, or not wanting to have a baby really don’t make much sense. To marry a royal meas that a person knows they will be living a life of duty and charity work. It also means that the person is going to be expected to have a baby. If she didn’t want to do all of that, but wanted to live a rich life, she could have married anyone with money and not had to deal with expectations from the public. And since her parents have money, she probably could have lived off of them forver had she wanted to.

    The past few weeks she has been at several events, which is part of the royal job.

    And given that there have been other womenw ho have been very thin who have become pregnant (Nicole Richie, Rachel Zoe), being bery thin doesn’t mean that pregnancy will not occur and that a woman won’t be able to carry to term and deliver a healthy child.

  46. Cerulean says:

    @Mrskrabapple and pinkelefants

    Very well articulated.

    I don’t think William is like his mother either. He comes off cold and distant as he ages. I wonder if he married her because it was time and she was there. Or if he has his own Camilla waiting in the wings? Perhaps this will be the end of the farce of the monarchy? What is it without Elizabeth anyway? The public doesn’t care for Waity nor would they accept Camilla.

  47. jess says:

    “This dude with a wig I can’t stand!” @ diana – i choked on my orange juice! so awesome!!

  48. benny says:

    “she needed an element of flexibility to continue the relationship . . . She’s going to be dictated to when she’s needed and not needed.”

    Wow. I don’t know what to say. She put up with this for HOW long? And I seriously doubt anything has changed since the wedding. No wonder none of the self-respecting women in William’s circle would put up with this. That is just so . . . sad. I don’t know what else to say.

  49. Str8Shooter says:

    LMAO at that headline…’penciling’ in a baby?? Really??

    Between what? Tea and Scones and wearing silly flower pots on her head like that hag Elizabeth?

  50. Bermuda Blues says:

    Did US magazine photoshop Kate’s eyeballs? Girlfriend looks possessed by the devil (or a racoon with rabies). From all the other pictures Kate has green eyes. Suddenly they are blue and glazed?

  51. benny says:

    It’s hard to tell what’s photoshopped and what’s not. She artifically whitened her teeth, has that “Jersey Shore” fake tan thing going, uses hair extensions, . . . I have a had time telling what’s real (or in her case, real-fake) and what’s photoshopped.

  52. Fatkid says:

    Love the repeated use of the pucker- faced picture!

  53. Amanda says:

    How do you pencil in having a baby? She might as well scream from Buckingham Palace “I want a baby now! Or else!”

  54. Emily says:

    My theory is that the Firm doesn’t want her to make too many public appearances because her “lazy” reputation will make Charles and Camilla look less worse.

  55. GoodCapon says:

    That jealousy excuse again… oh dear.

    Re the cover – the color of her eyes are different. Airbrushing seems to have been done, some of the lines on her face are gone.

    There is one other cover that is very obviously photoshopped like this but I can’t find it.

    I will not say anything more about this useless person, everyone else has done so.

  56. diana says:

    @ Bermuda Blues #53: LMAO! racoon with rabies……this is sooo funny!

  57. diana says:

    @ Bermuda Blues just for you: Kate’s seizure inducing interview:

    http://fabulouslycatherine.tumblr.com/post/12243122531/catherine-duchessofcambridge-arghhhh-3

    really she does seem to work…at least her eyelids do!

  58. TrollyDolly says:

    Priceless! AS if The Royal Family (or anyone in the UK) gives a shit about US Weekly and their fevered imaginings! Hilarious!
    As for the tired old Kate haters, why is it so hard to comprehend that she has absolutely no control over her public appearances. The Palace and the courtiers dictate the pace. They can’t have another Diana, now can they?

  59. JulieM says:

    I agree with the comments about William. What does this say about him, settling for the Doormat Katie Klown! He’s so dull and his choice of mate who would not overshadow him is so telling. I used to respect William. Poor lad, losing his mother so young and having to play out his grief in front of the whole world. But no more. He’s spoiled and entitled; very much like his father. Well, Willy; seems you’re rather stuck with Waity. Such a vapid simpleton.

  60. whatevs says:

    the 2nd photo… she has ruined her nose i see. *sigh*

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