Michael Fassbender & Viggo Mortensen. Some of you think Fassie and Viggo look alike. Some of you think that 53-year-old Viggo looks better/younger than 34-year-old Michael. Some of you don’t even “get” the Fassdong obsession. Come to the dark side, my loves. The Dark Side has well endowed Irish-German hustlers and twinkling blue eyes. The Dark Side will rock your world. And as for Viggo… well, I’d still hit it. But I’d just want him to get a haircut first.
Jason Momoa. My Momoa crush came and went so quickly, I almost forgot about him. Yes, he’s beautiful and hot and pretty and sexy. He’s also dumb as a box of hair, and the movie-going audience doesn’t really want to see him as a lead actor. For now. Does that mean we can still lust after him? Of course. He doesn’t need to be smart. It’s nice to have some equal-opportunity eye candy around here – Jason can just stand around and look pretty, and that’s all we need for now.
Eric Bana. The Bana is perfect. He’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s complicated, he’s adorable and mind-numbingly sexy all at once. I love him.
Idris Elba. He made the short list for People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, which was an unexpected gift. Maybe People Mag’s editors don’t hate our vaginas after all? No, they do. Bradley Cooper is evidence of that. Still, Idris’s sexiness crosses all bounds, nationalities, races, creeds, and religions. Just don’t ever check out his music, though.
Benedict Cumberbatch. The ‘Batch is an acquired taste, and I only got into him after I saw the new BBC Sherlock series. He’s so oddly beautiful, so delightfully strange. Plus, he’s really tall and he’s got a great voice. Love him.
James McAvoy. That was a good segue, right? From the ‘Batch to the McAvoy. I don’t even need to put down a reason for why you should love James. He’s wonderful and amazing and adorable. And look, I don’t want to be annoying, but check out McAvoy’s bulge. The little guy is packing.
David Gandy. Much like Jason Momoa – Gandy doesn’t have to speak. He just needs to stand around looking pretty. That’s good enough for me.
Tahar Rahim. By repeated request by a small but devoted band of Rahim-loonies. I think his face is too “sweet” to be considered truly sexy, but he’s got great eyes.
Matt Smith. He doesn’t do it for me, but I know there are lots of nerdy Dr. Who fanatics out there who get totally hot for him. Enjoy!
Joel McHale (By CB). Joel has replaced Matt Damon in my fantasies. He just turned 40(!) and you can see some funny footage of an interview he gave at his birthday party on E!. Unfortunately it looks like “Community” has been canceled (which Dani Pudi confirms in that video) but there’s always “The Soup,” where we loved him more anyway.
Donald Glover (By CB). Also from “Community,” we have Donald Glover, 28. If Glover seems like a dimwit goofball, that’s just because he’s such a good actor. Glover has a movie coming up called “The To-Do List” with Connie Britton and Rachel Bilson. I would love to see him get more work. He’s hilarious and has perfect comic timing.
Will Estes (By CB). This guy is on “Blue Bloods,” and seeing him on screen is the highlight of that show. Of course there’s also Donnie Wahlberg and a still-hot Tom Selleck, but Estes steals every scene he’s in. He has a baby face, but he’s all of 33 so I don’t have to feel guilty for lusting after him.
Adam Yamaguchi (By CB). I’ve been watching the documentary series Vanguard, on Current TV, and I find myself staring open-mouthed whenever Yamaguchi is on. He’s fine, he’s smart and he cares about things that matter. You can check him out here.
Henry Cavill (by Bedhead) I am thankful for the fact that the new Superman, while British, possesses an authentic six pack instead of those newfangled CGI abdominals very popular with the likes of Ryan Reynolds. Also, Cavill is still humble despite the fact that he’s so bloody gorgeous and about to become huge. Can I please have him over to my house for the holidays?
Chris Evans (by Bedhead) This guy’s had an incredible year and should only get better in the near future. Yes, Evans looks as if he’s perpetually about to burst into tears, and his waxed nips are quite possibly outweighed by his neuroses. Yet I still adore him and am thankful for actors who actually anguish over their budding careers rather than sign onto any project that will have them.
Jeremy Renner (by Bedhead) This guy isn’t classically handsome in any sense of the word, but he’s still quite captivating and the only reason that I’d watch the upcoming Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol (Tom Cruise who?). In addition, he sight of Renner carrying Hawkeye’s crossbow is, well, delicious. Between him and Evans, The Avengers will provide some much needed eye candy. Did I mention Renner’s cute little (NSFW) butt? Yeah, I’m thankful for that too.
Denzel Washington (by Bedhead) Since I just rewatched Training Day a few evenings ago, Denzel is fresh in my mind, and I am thankful that he is such a diverse actor. While he certainly has appeared in his fair share of cinematic stinkers, he always turns in authentic performances and looks mighty fine while doing so too.
Timothy Olyphant (by Bedhead) Most of all, I am thankful for the sexy swagger of Olyphantastic. Not only does he have the lanky body type that I appreciate, but he knows how to work it without a conscious strut. Swagger is a very subtle art form, and I can’t wait until early 2012 when “Justified” hits the airwaves again. More Olyphant. That is all.
Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame, PCN, Details, GQ, Entertainment Weekly, the Wall Street Journal, Essence, and assorted other publications.