Elizabeth Banks on her surrogate: “She’s still in our lives. She’s like an auntie.”

Back in March, Elizabeth Banks and her husband, Max Handelman, welcomed a son named Felix through surrogacy. At the time, Elizabeth released a pretty awesome statement showing much appreciation for her surrogate. She also talked about infertility, and she elaborates more on the topic in the February issue of Lucky magazine, which she covers to promote the upcoming Man on a Ledge. In the movie, Elizabeth does all of her own stunts because she admits to liking heights. Of course, this is another busy year for the actress, since she’s also got What to Expect When You’re Expecting in the can as well as a role in The Hunger Games. That last one is of particular interest in this interview:

On Playing Effie Trinket In Hunger Games: Playing the upbeat mentor to children who battle to the death on live television, she sports shaved eyebrows, cotton-candy hair and a bleached-white face that emphasizes every wrinkle. And then there’s Banks’ special contribution, the voice, which sounds like a demented ’50s schoolmarm: “It’s based on my heroes, Rosalind Russell in Auntie Mame and Katharine Hepburn in The Philadelphia Story.”

On Growing Up Blue Collar: She was never really a girly girl. “We played baseball and fixed cars, because that’s what Dad liked to do with us,” she says. Fun was “jamming a stick into a beehive and running.” With a mess of frizzy curls and bad acne, she was not cheerleader-perfect. “I’m so glad those photos from the ’80s haven’t surfaced on the Internet yet!”

On Her Husband: Banks [met] her future husband-writer and former investment banking analyst Max Handelman-on her very first day of college. “He looked like Jason Priestley in 90210, and he was wearing a vest with no shirt underneath, a look that was incredibly cool in the fashion world for about 10 minutes.” Today they run their own production company, Brownstone Productions, and work on scripts together. Their latest sale is a TV show called Dave’s Dead: “It’s a buddy comedy. It’s basically Two and a Half Men but if Charlie Sheen were dead and constantly in a different body.”

On Using A Surrogate: “It was a womb issue for me. Embryos wouldn’t implant,” she says. Banks is passionate and grateful about her own surrogacy experience. “It’s a big leap, inviting this person into your life to do this amazing, important thing for you. And it’s hard losing that kind of control. But our surrogate is so extraordinary, and she’s still in our lives. She’s like an auntie.”

On Her Future Parenting: “My plan is that when Felix is 15, we’ll go skydiving together. I mean, the guy is fierce and fearless, and I’m hoping he stays that way. Because I want to be that mom.” That’s right-not the glamour-puss, movie star, beauty icon mother. She gives me a slightly maniacal sidelong glance. “The one who takes her kid skydiving.”

[From Lucky mag]

Elizabeth is so damn likeable, isn’t she? That is, even if the new television show that she and her husband are working on sounds perfectly dreadful. Still, I do admire her statements about surrogacy, and it’s remarkable that Elizabeth and her husband have kept her around as part of the family, so to speak. That’s much classier than, say, merely cutting a check and arranging for transport away from the hospital delivery room. Still, it’s gotta take a lot of self-confidence to invite a surrogate to stick around afterwards. I’d probably be completely jealous of potential competitive bonding, but it sounds like the situation here is well under control.

Photos courtesy of Lucky

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41 Responses to “Elizabeth Banks on her surrogate: “She’s still in our lives. She’s like an auntie.””

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  1. brin says:

    Love her…can’t wait to see “Hunger Games”!

  2. Cherry Rose says:

    I’m all for people wanting kids, but why do they go for using a surrogate instead of adopting?

    Maybe it’s because I’m adopted, but I don’t see why the majority of celebrities don’t adopt. It’s not like the child would be any less theirs just because they aren’t biologically related to them.

    Is passing on your genes really that important to them? And also, if celebrities do adopt, they hardly ever adopt in the US. It seems they always adopt from other countries, which is ok, since I was adopted from the Ukraine. But you know, there’s plenty of kids here in America that would love to be adopted as well.

    Sorry for the rant. It just kind of bugs me.

    But anyway, it’s cool that they still have contact with their surrogate. You almost never hear something like that in Hollywood.

    • Elena says:

      Like it’s been said before by other commentors on this site, adoption is not for everyone. Personally, I have to say I wouldn’t adopt if I couldn’t give birth to a child myself. I want this child to be a part of me – physically too.

      • Cindy says:

        It’s not our place to tell people how to build their families – whether it’s denying someone an abortion or denying someone medical assistance for a condition that interferes with reproduction.

    • HadleyB says:

      Why is it wrong to want a child of yourself and your husband?

      So if someone has infertility they should only be able to adopt? That’s stupid.

      I think it’s wonderful there are MANY options out there and adoption isn’t for everyone — sometimes it’s harder to adopt here in the USA than other countries and some rules/countries reject you on the littlest things — your medical history, age, etc.

      So while we all can say ADOPT — it’s not always any easier or more simple than other methods.

      • SisterMaryHotPantz says:

        I am guessing the reason why actors do not adopt in the US is because biological mothers and fathers can change their minds, and then the adoptive parents are in litigation hell, for years. Also, if you recall Hugh Jackman adopted his son from the US and the biological mom went to the tabloids and bashed him for a variety of reasons. This is probably why most actors adopt outside of the US.

      • Iggles says:

        I agree!

        Adoption is wonderful but I don’t see anything wrong with surrogacy. And YES for some people passing on your genes is important!

        IVF and other forms of assisted reproduction are just different ways of building a family, just like adoption and fostering children are.

        I could see myself adopting someday, regardless if I can have biological kids of my own or not. However, my choices are my own and no less valid than anyone else’s in this regard — how to build your family is a personal decision!

      • Cherry Rose says:

        @HadleyB – Nowhere in my comment did I say that all couples that have trouble conceiving should only adopt. I just merely said that maybe they should consider adoption as an option.

        I was also talking about celebrity couples, who probably have an eaiser time with the whole adoption process than a regular person.

        @SisterMaryHotPantz – That is untrue. The birth mother cannot suddenly just change her mind and demand the kid back. Once they sign the adoption papers, they have no legal claim to their child anymore. And the birth mother (or birth parents) have to wait until the child is 18 before they can try to contact them.

        But they can decide with the adoptive parents whether they want to have an open adoption, which gives them contact to their kids, either physical contact or through letters and phone calls.

        @Iggles – I never said it was wrong for women to do IVF treatments or go through surrogacy. That is their own choice, and I do know that the process to adopt a child is very long and very expensive, which is why some people opt out of going through an adoption, and try other ways instead.

        However, for people as rich as celebrities, the money part wouldn’t be an issue.

      • ol cranky says:

        @CherryRose – the birth parents can’t change their minds after an adoption has been finalized by the courts but they can change their minds after signing papers and handing a baby over if the adoption has not been finalized. Each state has different laws on how long a birth parent has to change their mind after signing over parental rights.

      • Lucky Charm says:

        @ CherryRose, in the U S. the birth mother can change her mind up to a year after giving up her baby for adoption. Also, I don’t know how old you are and if you remember or not, but several years ago there were a couple of well publicized cases where the adopted babies, who were each then toddlers and living with their adoptive family’s for years, were given back to their birth families. Most foreign adoptions are permanent once the papers are signed and the adoptive parents get custody.

    • Girl says:

      I understand where your coming from. Adoption can be such a beautiful thing. A good friend adopted from the Ukraine and her story is just awesome.

      • Cherry Rose says:

        I was one of the first kids in the Ukraine that was adopted right after the Soviet Union dissolved.

        My dad had a hell of a time trying to adopt me, from dealing with the mayor of Donestk who refused to allow my father to adopt me and took away his travel visa, to the head of the orphange who didn’t complete the paperwork when she was supposed to, to the American Embassy in Russia who initally refused the paperwork from the orphange because it was handwritten. Added to the fact that besides one family who helped my dad out(who my parents helped get their citizenship here), my dad was pretty much alone in a foreign country.

        So yeah, my dad went through hell for about 2 weeks trying to get me, but it’s made our bond that much stronger. Though he is a tad bit over protective of me, even now.

    • poof says:

      I personally wouldnt adopt. I work with mentally ill adults and most of them were adopted. Me personally, I would want to know what kind of genes my kids were going to have. And I mean no offense to any adopted children.

      • Cherry Rose says:

        Well you see, that’s actually kind of funny.

        My father is bipolar and ADD, and the reason he wanted to adopt was because he didn’t want his child to have the chance of being bipolar as well.

        But lo and behold, I am also diagnosed with ADD and bipolar as well. However, my psychiatrist also says I probably have PTSD and maybe RAD (reactive attachment disorder) from my 3 1/2 years in the orphange.

        Which, it was one of the nicer orphanages in the Ukraine, but you still didn’t get the attention you needed and there was never enough food, so the kids would steal each other’s food. Not to mention we were all taught to never complain.

        Besides, there are plenty of mentally ill adults who aren’t adopted, and plenty of adopted people who have no mental illness or any other problem.

      • I can’t with this statement. How, exactly, are you tying mental illness to adoption?

      • Shannon says:

        I’m so sorry you had to deal with that as a young child, Cherry Rose. Have you heard of EMDR therapy? It is incredibly effective in helping with PTSD, you may want to look into it. I tried it to deal with my issues 5 years after being sexually assaulted, and the progress I made in a short time was amazing. I no longer have any sexual hangups or nightmares.

    • Kait says:

      How do you know adoption wasn’t considered?

      My husband and I have four children that we have fought our asses off to adopt (two domestically, two internationally). No matter how it’s done, adoption is TOUGH. It’s expensive, time consuming, and emotionally draining. If you want to adopt a newborn (we never have) the process is even more complicated. And yes, biological parents can change their minds within the limits of the particular states laws. If a bio dad is not informed he can sue. If the mother can claim she signed her rights away under duress she can sue. It’s not an easy thing like “Oh, hell, let’s go get us a baby!” I can certainly see the appeal in using a surrogate. Personally I don’t really like babies so we’ve adopted older kids (bonuses – they come home potty trained and sleeping through the night!)but it’s not an easy situation any way you slice it.

    • Blue Bear says:

      I have major infertility problems. I am so fortunate to have one daughter whom I was able to carry myself, to term. However, this has been at a very painful cost. I have lost several babies, I have had people asking me for YEARS “so are you pregnant?”, “are you going to have more?”, and THE MOST PAINFUL “why don’t you just adopt?”.

      I have tried to adopt and I have found that I don’t make enough money for them to consider me a good option. I have a daughter, she is happy and healthy and beautiful and I don’t know why I have plenty of love and money to raise her but not a child in an orphanage without a loving parent to kiss their booboos.

      When I look at my daughter I see myself as a child, literally! She looks just like me! I hear her voice and she sounds like my husband did when he was a child. Her earlobes connect like mine and she has her father’s blue eyes. She even has her Nana’s hair and her Baba’s love of bread. There are a host of things I would love and adore and cherish in an adopted child, there is no doubt, but to see my child and connect on such a level is something that many people just don’t understand when they ask me so arbitrarily “why don’t’ you just adopt”. As if it is just that simple. Add the word “just” for the right slap in the face. Because it is “just” that simple?

      Giving up your dream of having your own pregnancy and a child that looks, acts, smells, feels, talks, walks, smiles, eats, dreams, and loves just like you did as a child is a hard dream to give up. I would love to adopt, but they don’t think I am suitable. Just because some celebrity has the money doesn’t mean they are suitable either.

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        @Blue Bear, very beautifully said. You sound like a wonderful mother. I too struggle with infertility (specifically PCOS) but was finally able to have two beautiful little boys. My mom struggled with infertility for 11 years and suffered through several miscarriages and a stillbirth before she was able to have me. Everything you said resonated with me. Thank you.

    • ol cranky says:

      the thing that bugs me most is that, every year (usually around Xmas), they have a celebrity special to raise awareness about adoption and a lot of the celebrities that are on are neither adopted nor have they adopted themselves. It just seems odd that someone like Bruce Willis, who is working on biological child #4, and is on that special almost every year but hasn’t adopted any children. It comes across to me like “yeah you should consider adopting but I need to spread my genes around”. Of course I’m also irked by all those alleged environmentally aware celebrities who go on about being green but have an excess of biological children well beyond 0-pop. . .

    • Janiece says:

      Procreating is a natural and primal urge in all (or mostly all) of us. It is hardwired into us, we are made to procreate for our survival and to keep the family name going. We don’t always know but subconsciously it is. Unfortunately, in humans and in the animal kingdom, adopting and raising someone else’s child is not usually an urge. When people adopt, I applaud them. But I will not condemn those who will do everything they possibly can to do as we are hardwired to do; procreate. Its natural and part of life. Over-riding that extremely powerful innate instinct is not easy. I also personally disagree with adoption on personal reasons (I believe it causes too much trauma to baby when they struggle with their identity when they find out they were given away, bio mother’s regrets/fears, adoptive mother knowing the day may come when the child will want to know their real parents etc) its a noble thing, but its not for everyone and some like me don’t believe adoption is the grand solution its made out to be. I’ve seen too much heartache having a friend in the fostering/adoption system. Sorry but I couldn’t and wouldn’t adopt. I applaud those who do though. But understand that many are like me or just want to do what nature tells us.

  3. lucy2 says:

    I used to not like her, but in the past few years I’ve totally changed my mind. She seems pretty awesome, and I’m glad their family is doing well.

  4. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    Wow. I love this. I had no idea who this woman was. What else is she in? I’d love to check it out if it seems worthwhile.

  5. LeManda says:

    I’m a huge fan of hers.
    I just finished reading the Hunger Games books. I had no idea she was going to play Effie. Cool!!

  6. Lisa says:

    I was watching “Heights” this morning…which is one of my faves…and the first movie where I REALLY noticed Banks and saw her cool she truly is. It’s that sly intellect which gets me…which is also reflected in her interviews…and life choices…LOVE IT!

  7. Jayna says:

    I loved her in that movie with Russell Crowe. Three Days or whatever it’s called.

  8. TG says:

    Love her too she seems cool and down-to-earth with out trying. The Jess’s of this world should take note.

  9. Seal Team 6 says:

    I’ve always liked her, and this article makes me like her more.

    I am sooooo looking forward to “Hunger Games,” and I’ve watched the trailer several times, and had no idea that was Banks as Effie. And, that was a compliment. She’s a pretty woman, and not alot of pretty women would do a part like that.

  10. Mitch Buchanan Rocks says:

    Thanks for sharing your story Cherry
    Rose 🙂

    • Happy21 says:

      I was just scrolling down to say this 🙂

    • Cherry Rose says:

      Aw, you’re welcome.

      My mother has this poem framed about adoption. I’m not sure who wrote it, but I love reading it.

      “Not flesh of my flesh
      Nor bone of my bone
      But never the less, still my own
      Never forget for a single minute
      You weren’t born under my heart, but in it.”

      • MorticiansDoItDeader says:

        *hugs* Cherry Rose

      • Becky says:

        Thanks for sharing Cherry Rose(:

        My sister-in-law is adopted and she’s closer to her parents than any of her brothers (who are biological children). They love her dearly and she’s been a great daughter to them (not slamming on IVF or surrogacy-just wanted to share a positive adoption story).

  11. Brittany says:

    I love this woman….

    I just can’t stand her acting!!! 🙁

  12. ruby says:

    She’s so nice, and I find her pretty and endearingly honest. It’s good that there are celebs like her, for a change.

    I wish her all the best with her son and I hope her movies work well, especially The Hunger Games.

  13. danielle says:

    She seems very cool. I loved her in Zach and Miri make a porno. (Was I the only person in the world who liked that movie? I think I am, lol)

  14. original sandy says:

    i have always been a fan of Elizabeth banks, her down to earth personality comes through her acting.

  15. jayem says:

    That dress is seriously FUGLY!!