Demi Moore worries that “I’m really not lovable, I’m not worthy of being loved”

Demi Moore covers the February issue of Harper’s Bazaar with a covershoot that is obviously photoshopped to the max. No news there, but the accompanying interview is slightly more interesting, since Demi is promoting her new producing gig with “The Conversation,” a show that will premiere on Lifetime. The interview is really more of a conversation between Demi and her producing partner, Amanda de Cadenet, who reveal that their show will “featur[e] strikingly frank discussions with A-listers,” i.e. prominent women that will discuss “the universal themes in women’s lives” such relationships, body image, sex, career. It’s a great concept, but the guests are guaranteed to be sanctimonious as hell.

Sure enough, Demi and Amanda have revealed that Gwyneth Paltrow — in all her infinite wisdom — has been interviewed for the show. Of course, there are other “strong” women like Alicia Keys, Lady Gaga, and Jane Fonda who will appear as well, but Demi and Amanda have singled out Goop as being able to spout the best “listen to your inner guide” sort of mantra. Spare me. With Goop, the inner guide pretty much says, “Marry a super rich guy, exercise two hours per day, and cleanse the colon regularly.” Oh, and “Discuss one’s exquisite friendships with the Dalai Lama and Beyonce at every given opportunity.” Inner guide, my ass.

Anyway, Demi herself comes across pretty well (despite the title of this post) during this particular conversation, which was conducted “post-Thanksgiving” and, therefore, in the wake of Demi filing for divorce from her douche husband. Mercifully, Ashton is mentioned nowhere during this discussion. Instead, this interview is something of a graceful dance between two girlfriends, which is kind of where I like to think of Demi these days; that is, not doing a sexy dance for men or pretending to be Gloria Steinem. Instead, she’s merely hanging with a girlfriend, and they’re supporting each other. Here are a few excerpts:

On Body Image: “I have had a love-hate relationship with my body. When I’m at the greatest odds with my body, it’s usually because I feel my body’s betraying me, whether that’s been in the past, struggling with my weight and feeling that I couldn’t eat what I wanted to eat, or that I couldn’t get my body to do what I wanted it to do. I think I sit today in a place of greater acceptance of my body, and that includes not just my weight but all of the things that come with your changing body as you age to now experiencing my body as extremely thin – thin in a way that I never imagined somebody would be saying to me, ‘You’re too thin, and you don’t look good.’”

On Abandonment & The Unknown: “I used to think that what scared me was the idea of being abandoned until someone said to me, ‘Only children can be abandoned. Adults can’t be abandoned because we have a choice. Children don’t have a choice.’ So I started to rethink. ‘Okay, it’s not that. What’s the underlying thread that really scares me?’ I think what scares me is not having the courage to reach my full potential . . . which means that I would allow fear, insecurity, and doubt to rule me and that I would ask for only a little of what is actually there for me. It would mean that I would be settling.

“And so for me, it’s not just about reaching my potential in terms of my career. It goes more to the idea of being whole, of loving oneself. And I think there is no way to reach your fullest potential if you don’t really find the love of yourself. If I were to answer it just kind of bold-faced, I would say what scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.

“And that I wasn’t wanted here in the first place, so the fight against gravity for me is to find that love for myself that gives me the courage to reach my fullest potential, to actually receive this abundance that’s really there. I also think that what scares you goes back to being a kid; what really scares you is not knowing. What scares me the most is not knowing and accepting that just about everything is not in my control. That makes me feel unsafe.”

On Comfort: “I think being comfortable is perhaps overrated. I think a better word than comfortable is accepting. Accepting weaknesses and strengths and being more able to celebrate all of it as a whole package. Well, it indicates an illusion as opposed to the reality, which is that we don’t live in black and white – we live in the gray – and that, as you’re saying, stepping out of the familiar, the known, the comfortable, allows us to become more whole and complete. So to answer the question ‘Have I become more comfortable with myself as a woman?’ I would say that I have in the sense of valuing myself, certainly more than I did when I was a teenager.”

On Her Idea Of Freedom: “Letting go of the outcome. Truly being in the moment. Not reflecting on the past. Not projecting into the future. That’s freedom. Not caring more about what other people think than what you think. That’s freedom. To not be defined by your wounds. Somebody wrote something to me that said, ‘Don’t let your wounds make you become someone you’re not.’ That’s really powerful.”

[From Harper's Bazaar]

I’m relieved that Demi seems to acknowledge that she’s grown far too thin during the past year or so because she really looks incredibly frail these days. Her other statements ring very true as well, and I understand that baring her soul during the course of this conversation was both (1) Very planned; (2) In the interest of promoting her Lifetime show. Yet Demi still comes off remarkably lucid, particularly in light of her recent painful split.

Oddly enough, Demi also confesses to her guilty pleasure, which is watching “Jersey Shore.” I do hope she’s not scoping out DJ Pauly D as her next sexual conquest. Don’t go there, Demi! Sadly though, all of the guys on that show combined are less revolting than her soon-to-be ex-husband. And that’s saying something.

Photos courtesy of Harper’s Bazaar


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91 Responses to “Demi Moore worries that “I’m really not lovable, I’m not worthy of being loved””

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  1. Hautie says:

    This is a first for me to see. That they shopped 20 pounds onto a female. She looks great in the pictures.

    But we all have seen her in the last couple of weeks looking positively tiny and drawn.

    I do wish her all the best. And keep hoping she eats a sandwich. Soon.

  2. Sasha says:

    Aww, poor Demi :( I do really feel for her because only a sad woman would have stayed with Ashton for as long as she did.

    I want to see her surround herself with girlfriends, go out with her daughters, do a couple of good work projects and enjoy some donuts – seriously! How nice would it be to see her put weight back on and gleefully enjoying a donut? Then I want to see her start a relationship with a respectable, older businessman (non Hollywood). The End. :)

  3. Franny says:

    Its a bit strange that in the last picture Demi is in some weird asymetrical swimsuit, and her friend is in a sweater.

    other than that, she sounds wise and acknowledging about her life. better than just “look at my shiny hair, rinse with cold water!”

  4. Sumodo1 says:

    The cover is pathetic. “Oh, wounded, hurt little me!” So frail, then there’s the fringed shawl over cut-out swimsuit shot. Wowza. Seems like Demi is playing both sides to get sympathy. Not for nothing: I have never seen a pic of Amanda de Cadenet, but only heard of her as the punchline of jokes on “Absolutely Fabulous.”

  5. Esperanza says:

    I wonder if Rachel Zoe styled these. Did it say and I missed it. I agree with the poster that hopes she turns to female friends. Ashton is an ass and Demi is a goddess.

  6. lisa says:

    I wish she had not done the poor me. I wish she had owned it and just said. The marriage ended. It was not what I thought and I’m glad I had the strength of self to know that as a woman I deserved more.

    (even if it was a lie)

    I hate the pity me. “I’m not worthy of love”. Why because you husband was not the man you needed or wanted him to be. Why is that on her.. and not him

    ugh.. sorry just wanted her first real interview to show strength of self.

    • Esmom says:

      I agree, she really revealed how utterly insecure she is. She’s more troubled than I imagined and the issues obviously go way, way back. Sad.

      • Naye in VA says:

        I kind of respect that she was honest about her insecurity. Its really taboo to actually be insecure these days yet, its written across the faces of all the reality tv stars these day. Demi somehow, isnt behaving like any of them. She admitted to her flaws, and answered the question of why she stayed with him indirectly. I think a lot of women reading the interview will feel as she does and hopefully take it back that they can feel small and insecure sometimes but the idea is to be bigger than you body in spirit. we all WANT her to be like “yea F that dude im so much better than that” but didnt she do that by filing for divorce?

      • HadleyB says:

        Most women are insecure about something .. I am sick of hearing celebs saying they LOVE their bodies, they think they are intelligent, beautiful and talented.

        It’s too much, rarely does anyone feel that full of themselves and it’s the truth.

        Just because she is insecure doesn’t mean she is deeply troubled .. it’s refreshing to hear that she does have troubles, body issues, relationship issues.

        And it’s still soon.. after a divorce or break up you go through so many emotions, changes on how you feel about yourself, the relationship, I am sure she will have different feelings and viewpoints months or a year from now.

        God give the woman a break.. but I hope she finds someone a bit older than her, more mature and will treat her right this time.

  7. WTF says:

    Well if CDAN is to be believed, she’s probably getting it on with Zac not doing too bad ;)

  8. Kimlee says:

    When looking at these photos one word comes to mind Photoshop Demi has not look like this in a long time I’ve seen resent photos of her and she still really thin, but I do give them credit that they didn’t completely photoshop her In to looking like she in her 20′s. Like they did with The Glamour cove with Alicia keys and Jennifer Aniston we’re they photoshop it so much to make Aniston and Demi look younger they made Alicia unrecognizable; Bazzar made Demi look like a 48 year old woman who takes care of herself and nothing’s wrong with that.

  9. for real? says:

    i love that she is smiling and lookng happy in the pics, i do hope that she finds some peace and is able to put her life back together, i have always like her and i hope she is able to get back to a healthy place.

  10. gloaming says:

    I like the concept of the show, but Gwyneth Paltrow? Ugh.

    And I’ve hated Amanda De Cadanet since she was nick named Amanda De Drinks Cabinet by the UK tabloids eons ago, hanging on to fame by star f*cking her way through Hollywood. And she’s aging beautifully.

    • Jag says:

      To me, it shows how out of touch they are if they’re featuring Goopy above any of the others they’ve mentioned.

    • kazoo says:

      HAHA, gloaming. The only reason I know who de Cadenet is because she used to date/stalk/fuck/whatever Keanu.

      And I love Demi. I dunno, maybe because I grew up watching her, so many of my favorite 80′s and 90′s movies star her. I think she’s beautiful.

    • Carolyn says:

      I only know of Amanda because of her marriage to John Taylor of Duran Duran. I think she must have a drug/party history because that’s what he was heavily into at that time. He has only got clean due to the influence of his current wife (Gela of Juicy Couture). Vaguely recall she was UK tabloid fixture for years. The project sounds vaguely interesting. I hope Demi does OK.

  11. inthekitchen says:

    Whine whine whine, photoshop, photoshop, whine whine.

    • mia135 says:

      Exactly! I won’t be watching this “The Conversation,” crap ‘cos I am sick to death of ALL these whiny, rich, over-privileged, Botox-y women forever moaning about their “flaws and insecurities” as though the rest of the world is supposed to care.
      Show me some women with some real problems please.

    • Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

      Mouthful. What’s the line, ‘…it says nothing to me about my life’? The ‘Gimme Moore’ train rolls on. The very notion of this show positively turns my stomach, and if it isn’t just an ‘Inside The Vulva’s Studio’ dressed up in ‘sistren’ and ‘wellness’ rags with a little whoreson’s vitality thrown in to pander to the ‘mature woman’ set, I’ll eat my toque. A pretty big claim given where I live (Canada).


      It’s so COLD in The C.,

      Where da f–k is the salt for these streets?

      What goes through da lawyer’s mind,

      With ‘slip, trip’ on business time?

      It’s so COLD in The C.,

      Why da f–k don’t I live in Fiji?

      I’d lie, say, ‘Da weather’s fine’,

      But my tongue stuck to the line.

      It’s so COLD in The C.,

      Where da f–k is my January heat?

      If I see ‘nother southerner smile,

      I’ma hunt your Equator down.

      It’s so COLD in The C.,

      Why da f–k should I smile and make peace?

      My vitamin D declines

      I’ll watch Maude ’til the July time.

      –Peace to the black-icy streets.

  12. Mimi says:

    All of her seemingly hard won self-awareness just seems like psychobabble when you compare it to who the woman was married to and how much energy she’s put into modifying her body. Wish her the best but the hypocrisy is too obvious to ignore.

  13. Bubbling says:

    I like what she said about freedom, she could be on to something. White dress with small pearls is everything.

  14. Palermo says:

    All she knows how to say is “I” and “me”, that’s why she will never be happy.

  15. podzol says:

    Oh god, Demi Moore is SO that friend at that party who gets depressed-drunk and ends the night at 3 am crying her heart out in your lap about why men don’t like her, why is she a failure despite having great success, why does her haircut make her look butch, why is her face so round and fat…despite being a far-too-slim knockout. I’m getting too many familiar flashbacks right now!

  16. Rhiley says:

    Lord this interview sounded like a bunch of new agey Kaballah bull patoot.

  17. Julie says:

    Wow, impressed with her comments about loving herself and fear that in the end she will learn she isn’t worthy of love, etc. very honest. Very! Refreshing. Just started liking her a little more.

  18. anne_000 says:

    I’m so tired of Norma Desmond.

  19. nina says:

    It’s like classic rhetoric, I don’t buy it. there’s a vanity and insecurity to her that makes me want to shake her and be like, “get it together woman! You’ve got three daughters watching your ass.”

  20. Camille says:

    You are old, useless ho Demi. You are pathetic hasbeen. Just go away.

  21. mel says:

    she had a horrible childhood…I just feel really sorry for her desperation to belong she seemed her best with bruce willis.

  22. reg says:

    Is that who I think it is next to Demi, Keanu Reeves’s ex Amanda De Cadenet?

  23. Amanda G says:

    I like what she said about Abandonment.

    Did she remove her implants?

  24. dorothy says:

    It’s been a tough year, but nobody likes a whiner. Not attractive.

  25. beany says:

    grow a little brain might be helpful

  26. Lady_Luck says:

    Photoshopped to pieces or not, she’s still a gorgeous woman and she shouldn’t give up!

    I feel for her and what she is going through. It certainly can’t be easy, particularly when the main aim of her marriage to the douche was to prove to her detractors she could do it. Marry a toyboy and live happily ever after. Young or old – it wouldn’t have mattered, the man was a douche and always will be.

  27. taxi says:

    Talk less. Eat more. Get a shrink.

  28. ginger says:

    Okay, the thing about worrying that at the end of her life she’ll discover she’s not worthy of being loved? Made me want to give her a big hug! Celebrity or not, that sounds very genuine and real to me. That’s an awful thing to fear!

  29. Kim says:

    Sad – she has no self esteem and obviously isnt comfortable in her own skin.

  30. Jayna says:

    Being dumped does a number on you. It’s hard to face your significant other isn’t in love with you anymore.. So I get her saying how you feel. But the bathing suit, her legs look gross.

    She was interviewed over a year ago. The interviewer said she photographed beautifully but at her weight in person her face looked gaunt and she looked her age.

    • RobN says:

      And what’s wrong with looking your age? If more people accepted looking their age, they’d be happier, less critical and generally more fun to be around than those who try so painfully hard to pretend they’re still 25.

      • Jayna says:

        She said she looked her age because she was thin, so her face was gaunt and more lined in person, but that her thinness photographs well. I actually never get the remarks about Demi having too much plastic surgery. I think she looks like a more mature version of her younger self but very beautiful. No blown up lips or blown up cheeks, etc. With a little weight on her she looks 40, not 49.

      • HadleyB says:

        It’s damn hard to accept growing old though!

        I fight it as much as I can and will forever, every step of the way.

        But when you turn 30/35 or so you get in tailspin about how things are changing and acceptance isn’t easy to come by..

        Is it acceptance really that one is getting older or just giving up when you can’t do a damn thing about it?

  31. snappy81 says:

    “Demi Moore worries that ‘I’m really not lovable, I’m not worthy of being loved’.”

    Doesn’t everyone? Isn’t this the human condition? It seems like it to me.

  32. Ice Bunny says:


  33. Callumna says:

    Couldn’t get through those quotes. She has way too many thoughts about herself.

    It’s exhausting. Also, obsessing on you is the whole issue. And then you pushed that relentless, annoying pressure on the man-child and he broke.

    The world is not your therapist, husbands are not development projects. Hope you’re not relentlessly pushing your kids too much but you probably are.

  34. Lisa says:

    I know Amanda from that movie “Fall” written and directed by Eric Schaeffer…which has an AWESOME soundtrack…some pretty good writing regarding relationships and an intense scene where Amanda uses Eric as if he were the girl…and she’s the man…

    Let that one take you where it will…

    I like that Demi is saying what a lot of people are thinking regarding finding and keeping initimate love…

    Are we worthy?

    • Original Bee says:

      Thank you! I thought I’d seen Amanda before but I couldn’t place her. I saw her in Fall years ago. The soundtrack is great. The boy/girl scene is sexy. But, my favorite part is where Eric makes Amanda have the big O just by talking to her.

  35. Kimlee says:

    This all seems like a game to me, first all the stories after the brake up which as we know came from Demi camp that she over Ashton and on to a younger man when that did play out the way they wanted her people are going for the poor me route to draw up sympathy and publicity, now that sad.

    Why is she on the cover anyway and what is she promoting? Or is this a publicity thing to get her attention.

  36. Julia says:

    I didn’t understand half of what she said… it sounded like those God-awful affirmations Marianne Moore and her ilk tried to get folks to say while collecting their money for “soul searching.” I guess, Kabbalah is as much a racket as Scientology if her command of the English language and affirmations are any evidence.

  37. Camille says:

    Her new teeth bother me more than anything else. Why did she do that to herself?

  38. Hellen says:

    OMG, Amanda de Cadenet! Haven’t thought of her in ages. Wasn’t she Courtney Love’s BFF for a while?

  39. juju says:

    this is so so photo shopped she looks nothing like these pictures !! please give me a break !! and Demi just shut up !!

  40. Bobby sue says:

    That interview made me cry. All of us (certainly me), on some level, can related to what she is saying. I think the statements were life-affirming and truly made me feel not alone. She looks gorgeous in these pictures. I hope she does look this way in person.

  41. NO SH¡T says:

    She needs to just realize she married a douche she will start to feel better. Then she will stop this fucking pity party go out with her friends have a good time and be a role model for her girls by showing them how to handle things like this.

  42. BELLA says:

    why is she even on any cover??????ahhh
    try being left with 4 kids and no $$$$
    Go to haite and help someone

  43. cprincess says:

    I saw her about 9 months ago on the street and she look emaciated then…
    Its hard for me to feel sympathy for her-after all this is a woman who was known as “Gimme Moore”…
    She can feel satisfied that that she helped a douchy talentless frat boy become mega rich and famous i guess…

  44. whatevs says:

    her self hatred is the real reason why she surgically altered her face and body so many times. come on did she think she could buy a young super douchey husband and expect it to work. really now

  45. Hm says:

    I like the candid(?) photos where she is laughing. She looks like a happy, bohemian dance teacher.

  46. AM says:

    Another insecure Hollywood actress – so what’s new???

  47. Az says:

    Am I the only one who remembers when Amanda De Cadenet was BFFs with the Widow Cobain and they showed up at some Oscars-related thing in matching slip dresses and tiaras completely fucked up? Because that was spectacular.

  48. Becky says:

    I like the fact that she’s honest about her insecurities. I really don’t think she was whining or looking for pity. Unfortunately, there’s alot of people out there from all walks of life that struggle with feeling insecure at times-looks, money, success, etc. don’t always add up to feeling strong and secure. I like the honesty.

  49. Karen says:

    A real woman worries that at the end of her life she hasn’t done enough, loved others enough, instead of her crap. Obviously, she isn’t talking about being loved by her children or fans. She only thinks of her appeal to a man and that makes her shallow and doomed to repeat her last mistake. Seriously, I see her going after Justin B trying to hold on to idea she is ageless. She doesn’t deserve to play Gloria S.

  50. Lara says:

    “Don’t let your wounds make you become someone you’re not”. Well said. I do not find her bitter, miserable or “wounded”, to me she sounds honest, mature and reasonable. Unlike her ex-husband, whose “movies” (!) make me cringe. I wish her all the best.

  51. santacruz says:

    Life does not revolve around you demi…move on! You took a chance on an impossible relationship, and predictably you lost.

  52. JaneWonderfalls says:

    My hope for her is to realize not just all women but people in general is not to examine your self worth by a man or a person based on a relationship. Relationships fail and end. You live with yourself forever. True happiness comes with contentment and being able to accept your flaws as well as your best attributes which is not only based on physical appearance. Hope all goes well for her in the future. We can all find happiness if we look in the right places.

  53. Birdy says:

    Oh look, she is playing the victim and angling for sympathy. Desperate play for press attention and kind write ups. Why now is she doing this? Because she can’t book a job, she is a has been and the man child hubby was the only thing that kept her in the press and bordering on relevant for the past couple of years. These comments are nothing like the comments she has decreed on people on her twitter account about her great life, her self worth, etc. Splits can be hard but using it for PR mileage is a bad as the famewhoring of the marriage which probably contribiuted to it failing. Please go away.

    • JudyK says:

      OMG. She needs to stfu and admit she married a kid yong enough to be her son, and that he actualy became attracted to someone his age. She needs to grow up, get off the poor me shit and go make a damn movie, She is popping pills to lose weight to add to the pity party. She is not the only woman to get a divorce or who had a rat for a husband. My own sister actaully got a divorce to be with her oldest sons best friend and after she put him thru collage and he talked her into turning the loan to the house she owned, he told her that the age difference was too much. She had no money left from the 1.3 million she got in the divorce and no home. She got a job and made a new life for herself and Demi has no money problems only her ego is bruised and this pity part makes her look like an idiot.

  54. Willworkforfood says:

    She sounds like she will work through it. It is natural to have sadness, part of the process. I love, love those outfits & photo’s. Now THAT is how to have fun with an outfit. Can’t be serious and go to the grocery store…just have a blast knowing that you rock the outfit on a balcony.

  55. Ravensdaughter says:

    I feel sad for her. Perhaps she should have waited a few months for an interview, but when Bazaar comes knocking…
    She has such beautiful, intense eyes. It’s good the “shopper” brought them out.

  56. Lisa says:

    I can’t say anything mean about this. Show me one person who doesn’t feel this way, or doubt the love they already have in their lives.

  57. meme says:

    I think Demi would find love if she loved herself first. She’s spent an entire career sculpting herself into the image of a “Rich Mans Arm Candy” instead of being who she is. It must be exhausting.