Chelsea Handler isn’t that drunk: “Vodka is part of my life… but I can’t be a mess”

Chelsea Handler went quiet when her boyfriend of about ten months, Andre Balzas, dumped her at the end of October. I wonder why? Is it because she simply didn’t have anything to promote over the last few months? Is it because she’s looking for the Next Guy who will help her career? Or is she trying to win Andre back? Well, Chelsea did speak to Us Weekly, and unlike many of the interviews she did last year, Chelsea doesn’t sound like she thinks she’s the second coming of Jon Stewart. She seems almost… humble? Professional? Not hammered and/or (allegedly) coked out of her skull? Is that right? Let it be spoken, today of all days: Chelsea Handler isn’t as think as you drunk she is.

She’s been linked to 50 Cent and Animal Planet’s Dave Salmoni, but Chelsea Handler’s one true love will always be alcohol.

“Vodka is a part of my life. Absolutely. Tequila or vodka, depending on the day you get me,” Handler, 36, told Us Weekly at Saturday’s NBC Universal TCA Tour in Pasadena, Calif. “But to function as I do, I can’t be a mess.”

Though she once spent the night in jail for a DUI, Handler said she’s become more responsible when she decides to imbibe.

“I feel a big responsibility to not only everyone who watches the show, but to everyone who is on the show and all the employees I have,” the Chelsea Lately host and executive producer explained. “We’re creating jobs in a landscape where people aren’t getting a lot of work. Our show is a great place to be, and when you walk in the door, you know it.”

The Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea author added that “once everything’s done, smoke what you need to smoke — that’s fine. Do it in the office. I really don’t care.”

Despite her hectic schedule — she also stars on E!’s After Lately and NBC’s Are You There, Chelsea? — the New Jersey native assured Us she’s getting plenty of rest.

“I got a lot of sleep, don’t you worry. If I get home on a Monday at 7 o’clock and I know I don’t have to be anywhere until 10 the next morning, I go to bed at 8,” Handler said. “I take a sleeping pill and sleep for 12 hours.”

[From Us Weekly]

Why are we seeing this New Chelsea? Last year, she claimed that doing Chelsea Lately made her brain bleed, and she was looking to change jobs. Then Andre dumped her, Chelsea Lately got extended to 2014 and Chelsea went quiet in the press. Maybe someone got realistic? Maybe her supporting part in This Means War got sliced down and Chelsea realized her “acting” career isn’t going to explode? Maybe we’re seeing The New Chelsea because it seems like NBC’s Are You There, Chelsea? is going to bomb. That comes on tomorrow, by the way. And people are already talking about how awful it is.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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47 Responses to “Chelsea Handler isn’t that drunk: “Vodka is part of my life… but I can’t be a mess””

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  1. Original Chloe says:

    Chelsea Handler, 36? [cough]

  2. Messenger says:

    i watched part of her bio on e and she seems to come by her alchoholism honestly…people like handler at least channel their insecurities and low self-esteem into productive outlets. therapy would have created mental health but then she probably wouldnt have a career.

    • lisa says:

      I think her “comedy reflects that. She is like a lot of comedians. She was not popular. So she started her show making fun, ugly fun of the popular celebrities. Then she found a way to get in with a few of them. NOW she gets to hang out with the Popular girls of hollywood. She herself said she doesn’t make fun or her “friends” which is why you never hear her talk about any of the actresses that she share a PR guy with. Hardly unbiased in her choices of people to Hit on her show. They get to have a “bad girl” as a friend. Trying to add an edge to their ” American Sweetheart” rep.

      I see her for what she is. She wants to BE. And to BE she has to kissass and she is kissing it. She go in movie with her friend Reese. She gets invited to Aniston’s Friends/media only birthday parties and the price was just to be the hitwoman. It worked until she got some negative about it then she backed off.

      She spouted off how she wants to be a voice for women. Yet her comedy is nasty towards women. In a vile way.

      I don’t like her. I think she surrounds herself with some actually funny people and it gives the allusion that she herself is funny. I saw her monologue once and it is painful to watch. Easy to see she doesn’t write her lines. A comedian is fluid when they say their own jokes. She stumbles and is reading a prompter.

      That show of her looked awful in the previews. I won’t watch it because of her. And I won’t be seeing Reese’s movie either. Bad company all around.

  3. Seagulls says:

    I tried reading one of her books, I have no recollection which, and it just wasn’t funny. Ditto her show, which I quit watching after the equivalent of the three pages I read in her book. Guess I will stick to Bossypants and 30Rock.

  4. brin says:

    Hello Chelsea….you’re still a mess.

  5. Stacia says:

    This chic is not 36….maybe 56.. now that I can believe.

  6. PyCaramel says:

    There is no way in hell this is a 30-something woman!! Hate to see her in her 50s ouch.

  7. molly says:

    I read one of her books too. Not funny at all. And the complete difference in humor and tone from her show makes me wonder if she even wrote it

  8. molly says:

    Why are her looks even a factor though? She’s a comedian not an actress. On that note though she ain’t all that bad

  9. Kelly says:

    I bet she’s fun to be friends with – alcohol is part of my life, too! – but her show is super-mean, so I don’t care for it.

    She is looking a lil’ ragged, but honestly, I prefer that to the plastic look that is all too common. Compare her to Holly Madison – fake, fake, fake – I’ll take Chelsea any day. I also like her hair.

    • mssnarnd says:

      I completely agree with you, Kelly. I actually still watch her show; but, it’s mostly for some of the other “regulars” (comedians) who are on there.

      But she just seems so angry all the time, and she doesn’t even attempt to hide it. Angry kind of worked for Sam Kinison, I guess. It’s not working for Chelsea’s act.

      I know she must work really hard (and, yes, I’m sure she got a few “breaks” along the way). It’s obvious with her show and touring schedule (and now this short-lived TV show coming up) that she stays hustling (a slight pun there).

      It just seems as if it all went to her head along the way, and her ego ballooned out of control. A definite sense of entitlement. And, now, she acts so bitter about everything. And, you’re right. She can be very mean-spirited. There’s really no other way to describe it.

      I realize this is just “who she is” and you can take her or leave her. But, her temperament is making her tired and banal.

  10. Sloane Wyatt says:

    Chelsea looks Great for a woman in her 40′s! No lip plumping, air tunnel face, or creepy lasered line less, shiny weird face, I find that refreshing.

    Plus, she’s fit without being an ana bobblehead! It’s nice to not have to see a personality’s skeleton.

    Uhm, but Chelsea’s kinda crude. Being a woman, she’ll never get a pass like the Charlie Sheen’s of tinsel town. She goes after what she wants and catches all kind of hell because she’s not ‘sweet’ like Jennifer Garner or Sandra Bullock. So tired of the double standard for successful women and successful men. Bleh!

    • Alexis says:

      Double standard is right.

      I actually think Chelsea is pretty funny — yeah her style of humor is mean, but I like that. She’s a standup: many of them are mean and crude. I like to see a successful woman in comedy.

      Cannot believe the constant ragging on her appearance, either. She’s not ugly, and she’s not saggy and covered in wrinkles. She looks fine. She’s probably lying about her age, but she looks good for 40 or 45 or whatever she is. Nobody is saying she needs Botox or fillers. Is it a crime for a plain-looking woman to look a natural 45 in Hollywood?

      If she was a man, many of y’all would be calling her edgy and “strangely hot” despite looking older than official age and being crude and offensive.

  11. Ctgirl says:

    I have yet been able to discern exactly what is her talent. Funny? No. Social commentary? No. Actress? No. . .

  12. Agnes says:

    She looks super weird in the promos for her new show. The brunette wig makes her look like an actress in a Deadly Women re-enactment or something.

  13. Lisa says:

    I have never watched her talk show…but “After Lately” cracks me the HELL up…her supporting cast is TOO FUNNY!!! And you only get a “teeny” bit of her…which is the PERFECT amount!

  14. Spreckels says:

    I think her books are exactly her humor. I liked the Collection of One Night Stands. So funny. I am getting a bit sick of her ‘quick witted’ remarks which sometimes dont even make sense, but she doesnt do your standard, kiss-ass celeb interviews. Id rather hear from a guest about which co-star they boned, than watch Jay ask boring promo questions.

  15. Franny says:

    I think that opening paragraph really goes back to the blinditems we were gifted with a few weeks ago.

  16. Katyusha says:

    What I find weird is that her monologues aren’t funny…at all. But she does really well at off the cuff humor when she’s conversing with other people.

  17. hazeldazel says:

    funny how some people think being a b!%@# to other people is funny. I think she’s just an alcoholic bully. But hey, her 15 minutes are almost up and watching her watch her career circle the drain is hilarious!

  18. HadleyB says:

    I think she’s funny and she knows she looks older than her age and .. could give a rats ass what people say or think of her.. but on her I believe it because she is confident in who she is.

    She doesn’t SAY I don’t care what people think like Kim K does and then you know she is insecure on her looks/body etc.

    Chelsea gets fit sometimes, sometimes not, looks good looks bad but at least she is true.

    The mean is funny.. it’s what everyone is thinking but afraid to say or won’t say out loud.

    And it’s kinda hypocritical to say she is mean on HERE… and then bash her. Along with everyone else.

  19. Firecracker says:

    I like her, and I think she’d be really pretty in real life. Not all people are extremely beautiful/photogenic. But I get her sense of humor…I can see why a lot of people don’t like her.

    Her thing with Chewie(sp) her sidekick is a little old, though.

  20. LittleDeadGrrl says:

    The show looks incredibly boring. “It’s about my life”. And who are you exactly? Why do I have any interest in watching your life? I can’t believe this got greenlighted.

  21. Kloops says:

    I’m not a Chelsea fan, I think is mean and rarely funny, but After Lately is hilarious!! This season is really good.

  22. LBeees says:

    You can’t? Wait… you’re not?

  23. Jilly Bean says:

    typo….63 not 36!

    Chelsea lately is a decent show… it has grown on me over the past month!

  24. blonde on the dock says:

    I think she’s pretty. I’ve never seen her show but read one of her books. Not very funny.

  25. Roscoe says:

    I’m not too sure where you get this idea of Chelsea. I mean, I get if you don’t like her humor or her in general, but most of the Chelsea Handler interviews I’ve read/seen that are more serious in tone really present her as a serious, intelligent business woman, but obviously when she’s being funny she has that more ballsy, bawdy persona.

  26. M says:

    I think most here dislike her because of her shots at Angelina Jolie. I get that, they were mean and uncalled for. But I read “Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea” and that book is hysterical.

  27. BerMan says:

    She’s as funny as peeling a egg…Yawn.

  28. W.C says:

    You are quite something…mouthing off like you do. Please be aware that you are annoyingly hypocritical, dumb and completely damaged by what you read in the tabloids. Did you apply for a job on her show? Did they tell you to work on your communication skills? You have no talent for this and the fact that you contradict yourself constantly is about the only thing that made me feel sorry for you. That and the fact that you probably cannot handle your liquor. Perhaps you should focus on finding proper medication for whatever fucking mental issue you have. I am more than thankful for Chelsea’s TV Show. People are far too affected by comments, quotes and rumours. Brush it off and move on. Say what you want and don’t make excuses for it. No matter how much shit you get into.