Jennifer Love Hewitt covers Maxim: “Guys do not hit on me, I’m not really sure why”

Believe it or not, I actually like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Like, I think she’s the very definition of “Man-Repellent” and I think it’s funny how clueless she is about men and relationships – this is a girl who vajazzles to feel special, and this is a girl who has three “pre-selected” engagement ring options at Tiffany’s, which she shows the men she’s dating. And then she acts all, “WHAT? Why can’t I find a man?!?” Poor J. Love. So how does she still manage to get boyfriends (of declining quality)? Well, she’s pretty. And she has great boobs. And so that’s what she’s left with – talking about her boobs as she shows off her boobs on the cover of the new issue of Maxim:

Gracing the cover of PEOPLE’s 2011 Hottest Bodies issue, Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared confident baring her cleavage in a colorful two-piece bathing suit. And the self-assurance she has when it comes to those body parts is no act, she says.

“It’s horrible to say, but I like my boobs,” Hewitt, 33, tells Maxim in its April cover story when asked what body part she is most proud of. “They’ve always served me well. They’re good.”

The svelte star also admits to doing something else to get in tune with her feminine side: pole dancing. Hewitt, who will play a prostitute on Lifetime’s The Client List series, says, “It’s a great way to get in touch with your sexuality. I also love to cook, so I can have a cake in the oven while I do a pole dance.”

But lately, the currently single starlet says there doesn’t seem to be anyone to watch her sexy moves.

“It might sound so stupid, but guys do not hit on me,” she notes. “I’m not really sure why.”

[From People]

Oh, J. Love. “It’s horrible to say, but I like my boobs”???? WTF? Why is that “horrible” to say? Also – “It might sound so stupid, but guys do not hit on me.” Why does that sound “stupid”? Either she’s got epic low-self-esteem to the point where she thinks it’s “horrible” to talk about her favorite body part, or she’s so egomaniacal that she honestly can’t figure out why every dude isn’t asking her out. As for her epic lack of self-awareness – “I’m not really sure why” – yes, we know. Put down the vajazzler. Tell Tiffany’s to stop keeping those three engagement rings on permanent hold. Stop talking about getting married when you’re on a first date. It really is that simple.

By the way, this photo shoot is really good… for her. Her body looks great, and she looks sexy/cute, which is her strength. She’s like the B/C-list Jennifer Aniston, isn’t she?

Photos courtesy of Maxim.

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68 Responses to “Jennifer Love Hewitt covers Maxim: “Guys do not hit on me, I’m not really sure why””

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  1. Samigirl says:

    Even when she was slightly heavier, I envied her body. I think she has one of the sexiest shapes. I’m super jealous of her curves.

    Anywhoodles, if I were a dude, I wouldn’t hit on a chick who has her engagement rings already picked out. That’s just me though.

  2. LeeLoo says:

    Ever since I first saw her on television, she has always had a persona of desperate neediness. I get the same vibe from her that I get from Jennifer Aniston.

    She does have an awesome body though.

  3. Asli says:

    LOL! ”The epitome of Man-Repellent.” Funny, and, sadly for J-Love, true.

  4. Shelly says:

    I find her annoying. I just can’t forget the time she dressed up as Audrey Hepburn and called the paps to shoot her standing in front of Tiffany’s while she posed. On her birthday. She is a strange character.

  5. lucy2 says:

    Oh Jennifer. It’s because you REEK of desperation.

    I don’t get her. She’s pretty, successful, and seems like a nice girl – why so clingy and desperate for a husband?

    • Neelyo says:

      Ha! You beat me to it. Guys don’t hit on her because they can smell the desperation.

      I wish she’d shut up about her breasts. That’s all she’s ever talked about. But I guess she knows more about them than acting or singing.

    • sup says:

      she’s pretty and i always admired her acting talent and i didn’t hate her until that vajazzle crap-i mean even if you do that dumb sh-t, why go talk about it publicly? anyway i imagine, even if a guy wants to get married and have a family life and all, he’d feel like a space filler when it comes to jlh. because she even tries on her perfect rings so she’s just looking for somebody to play the role of husband spaceholder-much in kim kartrashian fashion. “blablabla i just really want to be admired and validated and i need a man so i can wear a pretty ring and a dress at my own wedding to which i’ll call the same paps whom i ring on every birthday.” blech.

  6. someone says:

    she’s beautiful…but oh so dumb. and seriously, can we get ONE interview from a woman where she isn’t talking about her boobs or body?! seriously, can we just get some talk about anything RELEVANT. good lord, no wonder woman will continue to be nothing but something pretty to look at….so vapid

  7. Lis says:

    I too actually like her – she’s really pretty, and I actually liked the early seasons of Ghost Whisperer.

    But I still want to shake her very very very hard and tell her to stop being so unbelievably needy.

    Or at least to hide it better.

  8. Marjalane says:

    Sometimes the headlines just make me burst out laughing. This was one of them. (and I think you were being very generous to give a B/C list label. I’d have been C all the way!)

  9. brin says:

    I think it’s the desperation vibe she gives off that scares all the guys away. Oh, and she’s dumb.

  10. Floridaseaturtle says:

    The Vajazzled thing is what I first thought of…lol! I remember channel surfing, and I just hit the moment during an interview where she said something like ‘everyone should try it’. The first image in my mind were those self-sticking colored rhinestones that my daughter uses in scrapbooks. I still have no idea if that is what they are, the idea just kind of weirded me out, so I didn’t google it. That is what I totally think, when I see a pic of her still. I can’t un-remember it.

  11. Agnes says:

    i’m going to go with “it’s because you have three rings picked out that you want a man to pick from”. the lack of self-awareness of some people blows me away.

  12. Sara says:

    Too available maybe? Guys don’t want girls to be to available.

  13. sarah says:

    she ever decides to switch teams, I’ll take care of her. Buy her whatever ring her crazy self wanted!

  14. Boo says:

    She looks like Melissa Rivers.

    That last picture–the white claws-on-the-boobs dress is so far past unfortunate that I can’t even speak. Or maybe, maybe, her boobs are starring in a remake of Jesus Christ Superstar…they are playing the parts of Jesus and Judas, respectively…

  15. smith says:

    She has such a mildly awful to ridiculously fug personal street style (think: muu muus, Costanza sweatsuits and bad purses).

    She looks all kitten-y here. Better.

    ITA with the slightly budget-Aniston call. Is she as one-note an actress as Aniston? I don’t think I’ve ever seen J-Love act in anything. Her brand of TV shows just aren’t my style. Usually she’s just smiling maniacally at me from “Life & Style” or something as I purchase groceries.

  16. Me says:

    Im more put off by how many times you said “epic.”


  17. Lady_Luck says:

    She looks stunning in these pics. She is a gorgeous girl, but is rather dim when it concerns men.

    I also think she is going for the wrong ‘types’ of men too.

  18. Amanda says:

    My cousin used to date Donald Glover (aka “the black guy from Community”) back when they were in high school, and she said that he had a massive crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt and had papered the inside of his locker with pictures of her. Maybe he should ask her out now that he’s famous too LOL

  19. EmmaStoneWannabe says:

    That last picture is in no way cute nor sexy..posture, clothing, etc…no no no.

  20. Esmom says:

    Loved her in Party of Five. Eek, I can’t even remember how many years ago that was.

    Now I feel sorry for her, girlfriend cannot seem to get her self-esteem together.

    She looks good in the photos, albeit trying way too hard. And that white dress is truly frightening, it’s like two white-gloved hands are cupping the boobs she loves so much. Gross!

    • Carolyn says:

      Hehe I’d forgotten Party of Five. It must be scary to be successful then put on the acting scrap heap, as Jennifer now is. To be so desperate to arrange pap photos, discuss bedazzling personal body bits, feature on covers of mens mags to try and regain some relevance when everyone else has moved on is kinda sad. And she’s still single. And puts out quotable “pity party” statements. If I was a guy I wouldn’t go anywhere near her. Desperation and neediness aren’t desirable qualities in a long term partner.

  21. bub says:

    What dude wouldn’t avoid her like the plague. Wedding rings picked out? She is so desperate. Not worth the body, there are plenty of women in LA that are gorgeous and not annoying like her.

  22. Lindsey G. says:

    She’s very pretty and has a great body, but beyond that? I mean, if you can’t hold on to epic losers like Jamie Kennedy or John Mayer, then you’re just doing something really wrong.

  23. Jackie says:

    talking about her boobs, love of pole dancing, sex, and cooking…omg, she is trying so hard to be attractive for men.

    she needs to stop it all and get on with her life!…and then they will come.

    people can smell desperation a mile away.

  24. JessSaysNo says:

    Wow holy God that’s a lot of photoshop! Also no one hits on her because shes desperate as hell.

  25. dahlia noir says:

    “Hello stranger, MARRY ME !” I wonder too.

  26. Devon says:

    Maybe because she’s a stage 5 clinger?

  27. anon33 says:

    It’s so sad because I have a friend who is just like this. Pretty, cute body, fun, smart-but she is SO INCREDIBLY DESPERATE these days that guys have literally just stopped hitting on her (whereas she used to get hit on all the time), and she says the same things!!
    She doesn’t seem to get that obsessive clinginess-for example, she will go on ONE date with a guy and then text him and comment on his FB page constantly, even if the date didn’t go well, even if he never contacts her again after the date-SCARES MEN.
    She also thinks EVERY.SINGLE.GUY. she meets is “the one.” She dated some dude about 9 months ago for a WEEK, and was already telling us how wonderful he was and how she would move across country to be with him. I shit you not.
    Needless to say, that relationship didn’t work out.

  28. Amanda G says:

    She’s always had a banging body, but with an average face. And yeah, those quotes are weird. I’m guessing she didn’t want to come off as cocky. What exactly is she promoting? Does she have anything going on anymore?

  29. TXCinderella says:

    I think she is very pretty and she has a great body. I’ve seen her in a few interviews and she comes off as sweet, but she does like to talk about her lack of love alot. She should just concentrate on her career for awhile and love will come to her when she is not expecting it. Stop chasing love J-Love!

  30. TheOriginalKitten says:

    She looks incredible in these photos. She’s someone who would have benefited from a big brother who is close in age and could kind of clue her into how guys think.

  31. lila says:

    She reeks of eu de desperation. But she does have a great rack. I’m jealous

  32. kim says:

    desperate girls are obvious and ugly

  33. telesma says:

    Desperation is a stinky perfume, that’s why. It’s guy repellent.

  34. Orange Cone says:

    odd… she wrote a book on relationships

  35. RdyfrmycloseupmrDvlle says:

    ….Svelte??? I love how her PR agent instructed them to add in “svelte”. Whatever she may be she most certainly is NOT svelte. Cameron Diaz is svelte. Heidi Klum is svelte. Cute though she is Hewitt has hips and an ass the size of texas…That is NOT the definition of svelte. Lets be real here.

  36. Jayna says:

    I never think much about her and usually think she is just okay cute and her Ghost Whisperer show was just okay. But I saw her on The Talk and she was adorable. And I saw the TV movie she did based on the true story of wife being a call girl, and she was actually luminescent on screen and was excellent in her portrayal of the character. I was surprised. She has a vulnerable quality as an actress that serves her well, and the camera really loves her face, beautiful eyes.

  37. Incredulous says:

    Is the cut out cleavage supposed to be the shape it is? Hell, why not get a tattoo “Place here”?

  38. Mary jones says:

    Umm photoshop much? When ever I see candids of here she has a huge ass and wide hips.

  39. original sandy says:

    i like jlh, she is pretty, talented, decent actress, funny, nice body parts, lol she surpasses jen A. in my book she is everything ja is not. maybe desperate/clingy but, innocent–harmless enough, she’s not hurting anyone.

  40. Kim says:

    Guys dont hit on her because she is sooooooooo desperate, as is every other “celeb” who poses for Maxim. She just screams desperation with all her staged paparazzi photos etc. sad.

  41. skuddles says:

    JLH, guys stay away because you come across as an endless vortex of big boobied need. You seem to need it all, all the time – attention, publicity, devotion, adoration, attention, romance, weddings… babies?, attention, husbands, compliments, etc etc.

  42. Sugar says:

    she could try standing out in the middle of a street throw her arms up in the air & scream “what are you waiting for” (scene from l know what u did last summer)

  43. poodleydoo says:

    The line about pole dancing and baking seems SO contrived. It screams “Hey guys, I’m sexually self-aware and yet I love to bake! Wouldn’t I make the perfect wife?”

    She reminds me so much of my sister it’s sad. My sister is so clueless she doesn’t know why J.Love comes off as desperate. If they were both into girls instead of guys they would be the perfect couple.