'12
A few days ago, we asked the immortal question, “Who is crackie enough to play Richard Burton to Lindsay Lohan’s Liz Taylor?” I swear that question is riddle wrapped in an enigma, and then sprinkled with crack and smoked in between shots of vodka. I made some educated guesses about who would be cracked-out and budget enough to participate in a Lifetime movie with The Cracken. People like Charlie Sheen and Wilmer Valderrama, both, in my opinion, solid options. But Lindsay has some ideas about casting too. And she might have her eye on the dude who bones ladies in filthy Porta-potties, Gerard Butler.
For her part, Lindsay Lohan feels “lucky to be able to do this role” and wants “to honor [Elizabeth] the way that she should be honored because she helped a lot of people in her life.”
As for Lindsay’s onscreen love interest? She told Access she has someone in mind to play Richard Burton, but she doesn’t want to jinx it.
When one reporter suggested Gerard Butler for the role, Lindsay mused, “I don’t know if he would do that, but he actually does remind me of [Richard] a lot.”
[From E! News]
Let’s just take this suggestion at face value and analyze it. Gerard Butler is a dirty, mangy Scotsman incapable of doing any kind of accent but his own. Richard Burton had that beautiful, rich natural Welsh accent, and he could also do American accents and standard English accents. Gerard Butler had some moments in his career when I hoped he would turn into a real actor… alas, I think that’s over. Richard was one of the best actors of his generation, a poet, a writer, a lover, a brawler, and a hopeless alcoholic. Perhaps that’s what Lindsay was referencing? Gerard’s addiction issues?
Whatever. I’m not even going to bother getting mad about this. Gerard Butler might be The Porta-Potty Boner, but he wouldn’t sign on to do a Lifetime movie, regardless of the unlimited supply of sexual favors I’m sure Lindsay has offered him.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Gerard Butler, Lindsay Lohan
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I think Porta Potty Lothario has a nicer ring.
If this happens, they’re gonna need Hazmat suits to clean that set.
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Yes. I can see it now. Men in white air-locked suits stained with crack mixed with jizz, bladder waste and poop trying to keep up with the tangled bodies of the Cracken and Mr. Porta-Potty. What a comeback performance this will be.
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Oy. That was hilarious, but please excuse me, because now I have to go bleach my brain…
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At least they are both cut from the same bacteria ridden cloth…..
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Well yeah! They both already have all the STD’s known to man. What’s the harm of a little co-mingling of contaminated body fluids?
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They could combine in their porta-potty, bloated face filth and make a super std, like Gonorrhea-syphil-aids…on crack….that’s airborne….
That’s a lot of ho harm to inflict on the world
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Meggie, that reminds of when I was in high school: we used to refer to the skanks as having VD-syphi-AIDS.
But an airborne version? Dear God!
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What HARM? Ha-I can only imagine the spawn disease these two could create on that set. It would make ‘Contagion’ look like a tea party. lol
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Comment of the day!
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Don’t forget the viruses and fungi, Meggie. They’ll feel left out.
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I want to punch this story right in the face.
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Picture them together! Ugh! Gerard Butler and Lindsay Lohan aka Richard Burton and Liz Taylor?? Wtf??
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Unidentified stds will be made on this set if they co-star (and they won’t).
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Hell, Gonorrhea will go airborne. Somebody stop this!
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ha ha, they will name it loalaria.. symptoms will include, but not limited too, an uncontrollable need to sell your body for crack, throw drinks in people’s faces, and then deny it all while driving erratically..
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LOL Brin-I just commented something similar on the last post! Great minds… ;D
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It’ll be a match made in STD heaven!
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I’d say give Gerry 5 years at the rate he’s going with substance abuse, sex with D-list reality stars and port-a-potty sex he’ll be doing Lifetime movies before you know it.
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I give him two more years. But gotta say, this match up makes sense for the lifetime movie. PR dream come true.
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In all honesty, I’m more concerned that GB might not be ALIVE two years from now, at the rate he’s going…
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I dont get where this sudden hatred for gerard butler’s come from, yes he is going through some issues but i hope he manages to get clean maybe thats just me, And i dont believe eveything that is written
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Meh. He squandered his goodwill. The ladies liked him after 300 and he just manwhored it up and turned off a lot of previous admirers. Kind of like Sharon Stone did. You know what I mean? Just so sexually aggressive it’s off putting.
Gerard should sign on with LiLo if he wants to commit career suicide. I won’t ever watch anything LiLo is in. She is box office poison forevermore.
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this is a LIFETIME movie!! You know who does Lifetime movies?? Eddie Cibrian and Tori Spelling’s husband. NOT actual movie stars. I know Gerry is so dirty right now, but he doesn’t have to stoop so low as to join the cast of a Lifetime movie. I will be shocked…SHOCKED if the actor is someone that anyone has ever heard of.
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I love the idea of Mr. Ed as Lohan’s co-star and, if Tori and Dean didn’t have children, I co-sign his cheating ass too.
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If his brain still works a little, he will stay away from this project… like everyone with something similar to a career.
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Gerry B reminds me of Quagmire out of Family Guy
not stud material at all.
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Giggity Giggity Goo!
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Well, they could sneak into the nearest port-a-potty for a quicky during takes. I don’t think lifetime movie can afford real bathrooms
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the CDC needs to step in and put a stop to this NOW.
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+1
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+1 x infinity squared!
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They will have to pick someone as skanky as Cracken to do the love scenes. Most of Hollywood will refuse in case they catch something.
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I just don’t know what to say….I’m still in shock about the White House thing. On another Blohan note, apparently Rosie O’Donnell said something about Lilo, and, evidently Countess Crackinberry responded, (I’m sure it was something extremely profound). I’m gonna try to catch it on the Today Show…
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Blohan vs. Blowhard? Should be good.
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Yeah I saw that. Rosie said LiLo wasn’t in a good place at the moment and is in no shape to do a movie. She hasn’t done anything good since she was 16 and needs to go away and get her shit together. Michael Lohan responded on Twitter saying that’s rich coming from someone whose show just got axed and then proceeded to list all the quality shit the person buying his blow has done since then. Lindsay was a bit more tactful when asked, but I’m sure she was there egging her Dad on in between pipes.
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I saw a post on another site about this dinner and they said it actually turns into a “roast” type of thing and that maybe LL was asked for “roasting material”. We can only hope there is some kind of ulterior motive behind this.
I cant even imagine what type of conversation anyone could have with her.
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They both look all f-ked up. Great combo.
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That would be the end of his career if he is stupid enough to sign onto this film. He is a B-list on his way to the C-list actor, but he is still better than this. He is not at the point where Lohan is that he needs to sign onto a Lifetime film or any made for television film for that matter. Maybe in 5-10 years but for now he can continue making mediocre action films and lame romcoms that are at least released in movie theaters nationwide.
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everytime i think of liz, i remember this “art-fake” movie poster portraying olivia wilde as liz.
uncanny!
http://ca.movies.yahoo.com/blogs/wide-screen/fake-ryan-gosling-disney-poster-shows-us-biopic-155648802.html
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Much better than Blohan (and I don’t even like Wilde).
Can you imagine the amount of make-up and photochopping (typo, and it stays) and editing this flick is going to take?
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They’re going to have to get an unknown to play Burton. Who else would risk their reputation by starring in this dreck? Ooh, or maybe one of the Made in Chelsea or The Only Way Is Essex guys.
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She’s not fit to touch the hem of his porta-potty.
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Am I the only one who thinks she is looking a bit better every day? I mean, if we had never heard of her and saw these pictures, we would think she was a kind of pretty girl with a bit too much lip work done, but still quite pretty. Right?
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The studio should just save their money & cast her opposite a crack pipe. We all know that’s the only thing she’s capable of having any chemistry with
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“he actually does remind me of [Richard] a lot.”
Oh, right. She is soooo familiar with Richard Burton. I’m sure she’s made an intense, scholarly study of his work and method. {Well, she does have his drinking, brawling and erratic behavior down pat.}
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Lindsay is probably just one of those people who can’t distinguish between British accents. Welsh and Scottish probably all sound the same in her drug-addled brain.
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poor Gerald!! you deserves better than Lilo as co-star in a lifetime tv movie
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The Honey Bucket Honey
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Gerald Butler would be a miscast. I think Clive Owen could actually pull it off. But I would hate to see him associated with this project. Who in their right minds would want to be anyway?
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HEY! I just figured out what’s wrong with her lips, she keeps burning ‘em on her crack-pipe! I just saw a clip on Today, and I swear they are bigger than ever! And, really, just how well did she know Richard Burton? She is SO pathetic. By the way, I missed what Blowhard had to say to Blohan, (I love the names).
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I still get frustrated that this girl used to be so pretty…reminds me of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWqkzmf5k0Y
Ese era mi amigo Rodney!
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Is Gerard Butler washed up? Broke? Desperate for a role? Then he’s the porta-potty lothario for the Linds.
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Sorry, can’t get past this.
“I don’t know if he would do that, but he actually does remind me of [Richard] a lot.”
Now what did she actually say there, instead of “Richard”? Did she say “him” or did she say “Dick”? Because, is she said something about being reminded of “dicks”….well…
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Gerard Butler certainly matches Blohan in the sleaze factor, but there’s no way he would stoop to co-staring in a Lifetime movie.
Some barely-known or unknown Brit will be co-staring in this crap-fest with Lohan. I can’t imagine that there’s a budget for anything else.
Also, since this is filming in LA, the producers are probably going to have Blohan on some sort of lock-down until filming is completed. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was required to have some sort of sober-coach with her 24/7 and a curfew.
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Wait! Who’s that guy who was in “I Am Number 4″ that turned out to be a total douche-knocker? Would he be a fit for the role? Because he’s basically killed his own career.
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Alex Pettyfer? Butler would be a good fit for the Burton role. He’s been heading towards Lifetime movie territory for a while now anyway.
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@ ‘Some barely-known or unknown Brit…’
How about a hunky Australian?
In my dreams I’m casting this as a sweeping biopic with unlimited resources, and Blohan nowhere in sight. So either Martin Henderson or Karl Urban would avail themselves quite nicely of this role. My top choice would probably be Tim Roth, though, if they could get him to f-ing acquire some humanly recognizable accent instead of his own.
But, sh!t, this is a Lifetime production… I would not wish that curse on any of the above actors.
I know! For this caliber ‘masterpiece’ Eric Stolz or Matthew Modine would be perfect. Maybe even Matt LaBlanc. Or better yet – Ethan Hawke. They’d be sufficiently horrible, at least as awful as ‘Hohan, if not staggeringly worse.
Oh boy, this ‘movie’, when it comes out, will really make a lot of ‘normal’ people’s heads explode, starting with mine.
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Just for the record – Karl Urban and Martin Henderson are Kiwis……..sorry from New Zealand..
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Gerard would make a great Richard Burton, but Lindsay as Liz? No. Liz was known for her beauty and Lindsay does not measure up.
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lmao she is out giving interviews about the movie like it is some Big Budget studio film. Oh and btw did we find out who will play the Liz in her prime? Cos LL can basically only carry the later years….
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And the thing that gets me is that EVERYONE ELSE seems to be feeding into it! Everyone’s talking about it, everyone’s musing about who will play Dick, it’s all a big gab fest about Lindsay’s BIG ROLE on an embarrassing TV channel. WHY?????
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‘Why?????’
Probably because most of us movie lovers would actually love to see a real, honest to god, biopic/love story of Elizabeth and Burton. And until such time when the project is undertaken, and there is some smart, brave, and artistically articulate screenwriter, director and producer, we will just keep hoping and dreaming for it to come to pass.
Until then, the cheap immitation is all we have to look forward to. And though most of us will, as such, never deign to watch this piece of garbage, it is nice for a moment to forget about the low-life level of this endeavor, and get lost in the ‘what ifs’.
Mentioning Blohan, either directly or by inference, is simply incidental, though unavoidable..
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If this were a real movie then he might be an ok choice but I don’t think GB is doing a Lifetime movie any time soon.
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Does anyone else think that Gerard looks like a BeeGee? One of the Gibb brothers?
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I still have my doubts that this production will become a reality.
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I so hope your doubts are valid! I cannot begin to understand her casted as Liz Taylor! It is absurd!
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Are her lips getting puffier or is just me?
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They creep me out! They look like they are going to crawl off her face in a wormlike fashion! Ewww!
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Regardless of how far Butler has fallen off his pedestal, still don’t think he’s ready to embrace the joys of co-staring in a made-for-tv fiasco with the Hohan mess. Doubt all the biffy bj’s in the world would convince him….
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I think he’d be a perfect choice. Two low life crackies together, it makes sense. lol
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ITA
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OMG, that casting would be the perfect storm of chucklefuckery!!
I would SO watch that! All. Day. Long.
Powers that be … make this happen!
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chucklefuckery – word of the day!
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It won’t happen. Gerry is low but not Lifetime movie low yet. NBC movie of the week, sure but not Lifetime. He’s in straight to DVD land right now, correct?
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The headline is misleading considering Lindsay didn’t even say Gerard’s name. A reporter threw out his name and she responded. I also don’t know why people are making a big deal about this movie. It’s Lifetime. It’s not HBO or Showtime or even network tv.
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If he’s into stinky fart sex/buggering around with random chicks in a *gag reflex* porta-potty, he’s proven that he’s willing to go low enough to co-star with Lil’o Crackhead.
If the ‘shoe fits’, well. . . He might as well step in it.
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Sorry Lindsay but Gerard Butler is not THAT desperate to star in LifeTime movie. Maybe one of the men from original 90210. I think Luke Perry, Jason Priestly and Ian Ziering would agree. Or men from original Melrose Place. Or your perfect choice – Kellan Lutz.
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Are u kidding me?! Despite his manwhoring ways… I cant believe Gerard Butlers name is even being thrown out there or discussed on this thread! Please tell me were not being thrown by Lindseys warped delusions!
I’m no great fan, but checking his imdb Gerard butler has some big name projects lined up through 2014. No shot he’d stoop as low as a lifetime movie.
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Sigh Kaiser, I still have hopes that once Gerald fights his addiction and gets sober, he will dedicate the time and effort to his craft and become a fine actor. However, even with his addiction and that whole Porta-Potty thing, he’s STILL too good for Lindsay Lohan and her mess of a lifetime movie.
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I would dare to say that there is not any C-list or above that would sign on to do a Lifetime movie with the Cracken
Note to Lilo: You’ll be hard pressed to find someone willing to jump into the toilet bowl of a career for the final ride on the turd (that is your career) that is circling and headed for the drain!
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@ ‘Note to Lilo: You’ll be hard pressed to find someone willing to …’
I think Luke Mably might just be willing…or that other ‘winner’ who’s married to Megan Fox.
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This scenario makes me laugh uproariously. PLEASE LORD let this casting happen. I will buy the dvd of this movie and break it out every time I need a pick me up
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I feel dirty just looking at him. Dude always looks like he hasn’t showered in weeks.
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Let’s blame the real culprit for Gerard Butler’s career going down the drain: Hollywood.
It takes good foreign actors it admires and then tries to mold them into American actors.
If the man had less time on his hands he wouldn’t be doing just any would-be models and starlets who will never make it in their choice of career as they don’t have the looks or right attitude for it but are too stupid to try and work hard and instead they sleep with any rich famous celebrity so they can have some measure of notoriety. Anybody wanting to be remembered for having been one of GB’s one-night stand needs a reality check quickly as otherwise she’ll wind up giving it free in some dark alley to some homeless guy.
Lindsay Lohan used to be a promising young actress but Hollywood kowtows to its celebs and tells them it’s OK to party hearty and then when same celeb finds himself/herself at the bottom of the barrel, it turns around and attacks them.
As for her wanting GB as her Richard Burton, it could have been a comment she made in joke because already too many times she has been made to be so desperate as to go running after him when all that seems to have happened between them is that he took pity on her and instead of sleeping with her (she’s too much in the glare of the medias for him to want to be that involved with her as he likes them stupid, ugly and without a career so that when he dumps them they can’t go and boast of having slept with him and recently his judgment must have been clouded with coke because he actually did 2 beautiful women, Brandi Granville and the married ex and both couldn’t keep their mouths shut but at least now we know he likes women with curves and in the case of the ex shorter than some of the skeletal boyish looking models he’s said to prefer)and since he once struggled with alcohol addiction himself he wished to help her kick it as he could have seen her earlier movies and saw she did have some talent. Let’s remember the guy is also a producer now with a production company. His production company financed 2 movies in which he had starring roles, Law Abiding Citizen and Machine Gun Preacher and this guy now rubs elbows with the likes of Joel Silver, Stephen Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Harvey Weinstein as all those guys were with him at the Lakers Game including Anthony Fuquea who is rumored to be the director of one movie in which GB’s name is now being attached to. I doubt GB who has yet again to put on the shelf Burns to do those other movies would have the time or even the intention of playing Richard Burton as he must remember what happened the last time he did a movie with some woman he was very friendly with, Jennifer Aniston, and how that movie tanked at the box-office.
As for his lack of capacity of making another accent, he had an English one for the Phantom of the Opera and it was quite good and even fooled me except during the song when his Scottish accent would come out. His accent in The Games of Their Lives and Shattered made me think he had forgotten his Scottish one. But I guess even for somebody who had an Irish born father (Butler is an Irish name btw) but who lived mostly around his Scottish-born mother, it could be hard to come up with an Irish one which is not easy to do. I can do accents myself being an actress and I cannot do an Irish one.
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Oh Lilo!! On the positive side of this story I think the fact that Liz’s bff Colin Farrell didn’t get a mention here might be saying good things about his career. Or maybe it’s just that he and Lilo have already…
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The man went through something people, have a heart… and may still be going through a very hard time. He does have issues but I still think that despite his flaws, he’s still a sweet soul and funny, all-round nice guy. I’ve never heard about him being violent or mean to people.
Please watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaK_h2VqUb8&feature=relmfu
PT2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBDFdzFBlD8&feature=relmfu
A hard worker too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aCYUHc6UUg
He is human people! Be nice.
GOOD LUCK GERRY! WHATEVER YOU’RE GOING THROUGH, HOPE YOU’LL COME OUT OF IT IN ONE PIECE!
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P.S. Not saying it didn’t happen, but I’m very skeptical. Of all the paparazzi there, I have yet to see a photo of that porta potty incident.
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Gerard may still be going through a very hard time, have a heart. He does have issues but I think that despite his flaws, he’s still a sweet soul and funny, all-round nice guy. I’ve never heard about him being violent or mean to people.
Please watch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaK_h2VqUb8&feature=relmfu
PT2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBDFdzFBlD8&feature=relmfu
A hard worker too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aCYUHc6UUg
He is human people! Be nice.
GOOD LUCK GERRY! WHATEVER YOU’RE GOING THROUGH, HOPE YOU’LL COME OUT OF IT IN ONE PIECE!
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