Vanessa Williams is promoting her new memoir, co-written with her mother, called You Have No Idea: A Famous Daughter, Her No-nonsense Mother, and How They Survived Pageants, Hollywood, Love, Loss (and Each Other). We’ve heard some painful details of Williams’ past that she reveals in the memoir, including the fact that she had an abortion in high school and was sexually abused by an 18 year-old girl when she was just 10.
Vanessa and her mom were interviewed on Anderson Cooper’s show, in an episode to air today. Vanessa explained that she didn’t get involved in pageants until she was a sophomore in college and the opportunity kind of fell in her lap. Anderson asked her about Toddlers & Tiaras, and what she thought about children being pushed into pageants at such a young age, and she didn’t mince words:
Vanessa on Why She Wrote Her Memoir, “You Have No Idea” Now
Anderson: When you see these shows now like “Toddlers & Tiaras” what do you think?
Vanessa: Well that’s why I wrote the book. I have been asked many times to write a memoir but there were so many people who know me now from “Ugly Betty” and “Desperate Housewives” that didn’t even know I could sing, didn’t even know about my recording career. That assumed, ‘Oh, tell me about your pageant days. What are your tricks? You must have some tricks.’ And I said, ‘I’m not one of those girls, I don’t have tricks.’Vanessa & Her Mom Helen on “Toddlers & Tiaras”
Anderson:Do you think these girls are being pushed into it too soon?
Vanessa: I think they don’t know what they are doing. When the child is screaming and saying, ‘I don’t want to do this. I don’t feel like doing it.’ When they are using special juice to get them hyped.
Anderson: GoGo Juice. I actually have tasted GoGoJuice. It’s Mountain Dew & 7Up.
Vanessa: Yeah, that’s not my world and I would never have my kids do that.
Anderson: Do you think it’s more about the parents?
Helen: Oh yeah I think so.
[From The Anderson Cooper show, received via e-mail]
I agree with her, when your kid is telling you “no” and crying because they’ve just had to endure an eyebrow wax or getting their teeth bleached, it’s a no brainer that you’ve gone too far. When you’re dressing your preschooler like a prostitute to perform for an audience, that’s wrong.
Well a Toddlers & Tiaras mom has shot back at Vanessa, and of course she’s going for the jugular. This comes from Wendy Dickey, the mom who dressed her then three year-old, Paisley, like Julia Roberts’ hooker character in Pretty Woman and created a whole set that made it look like her daughter was walking the ‘ho stroll. Wendy personally attacks Vanessa, since she can’t defend what she’s doing to her child she’s going for ad hominem argument. I’m surprised she didn’t add “she’s just jealous!”
The comments didn’t fly with “Tiaras” star Wendy Dickey — aka Paisley’s mom — who says she was personally offended … and lashed back:
“Posing nude and having an abortion is ‘not my world’ and I would never have my kids do that … so easy on the judging Vanessa!”
Dickey is clearly referring to the revelations Williams makes in her new book — in which she admits she got an abortion in high school … and explains how she appeared in P3nthouse.
We reached out to Williams … but so far, no response.
[From TMZ]
That’s just low. Vanessa explained those nude photos in her memoir. She was taken advantage of and she regrets it. Of course that’s not the most offensive thing in this woman’s statement. Bringing up someone’s abortion as a way to try and discount their opinion is just low and despicable. But we knew that about this woman way before she opened her mouth.
Here are Paisley and Wendy. Note that Anderson Cooper’s show had just given the moms “pageant makeovers” so that they might have some sympathy for their daughters. It didn’t work.
And here’s a clip from Anderson’s show where Vanessa discusses Toddlers & Tiaras.
Vanessa is shown at the Desperate Housewives finale with her mom on 4-29-12. What the hell is she thinking with that sparkly peasant blouse over a satin skirt? I don’t watch the show so it might be a weird homage to her character. None of the other Housewives are dressed like that. Credit: WENN.com
Ugh but in her world dressing her 3 yr old up like a prostitute is perfectly respectable. What a vile woman.
This.
exactly
Agreed.
You said it perfectly.
Pageant moms, in my limited experience, pretty much all blatantly appear to be living their unrealized hopes and dreams through their innocent, ill-fated children. So sad for the little girls. Based on the few I’ve met, and ALL the stage mothers I’ve seen on reality shows, I wouldn’t consider inviting any of these tacky, selfish women into my home for any reason other than to take out the trash. What a HORRIBLE breed of woman. Certainly hope they’ve established trusts to pay for the extensive therapy their daughters will undoubtedly require in the future 🙁
Better a responsible early abortion than being a monstrous irresponsible shit some kid calls “mom”!
MTE, I can only imagine some of the stuff these girls will tell about their childhood when they grow up.
Looking forward to Paisley’s book in 20 years.
and when Paisley gets pregnant as a teen and it poses a threat to her mommy’s plans for the child’s path to “Stardom”, Paisley and her mommy will likely opt to terminate (going abroad if it’s illegal here)
Half those T&T kids are probably going to end up as strippers or hookers, so I think Paisley’s pimp is speaking slightly prematurely.
Paisley’s pimp!! Priceless and so spot on @orig. bellaluna.
ol cranky- you know she would take her daughter in for the abortion and just tell people “My daughter’s situation is DIFFERENT, it was an ACCIDENT. She’s not like all those other sluts.”
that pageant mom is pretty much the exact stereotype of women profiled in “The Only Moral Abortion Is My Abortion” (that essay is available free online if anyone is interested).
@kimlee – ah, so you’ve also had the great displeasure of working at a clinic when someone you recognize from protests shows up for their own abortion and spends all their time in the waiting room going on about how their situation is different too. . .
It bothers me more than anyone is even asking her for her opinion. Who cares what she thinks?
anything that comes out of the mouths of those disgusting moms is not even worth it….maybe they should spend less time reading internet gossip and more time taking care of their kids…seriously i am STILL surprised these women haven’t been charged. i think it’s abuse but hey who am i to judge?
Co-sign
Her name is Wendy Dickey? Sounds like a porn name to me and she looks like a old porn hag. And who watches this crap anyway? The same idiots who watch the Kartrashians? That poor little girl is doomed, she is ruined already by this POS. Hey Wendy…I am a Mom and let me tell you…you are no Mom! Oh and good for Vanessa…she has done nothing in her life that she hasn’t been able to live with herself for and that I admire in a person.
Those pageantry should fall within the U.S. underage labor laws, because let me tell you, those children are WORKED to the bone: They put in longer hours than your average worker, they suffer physical malnutrition in order to WORK better to the crowds and judges, and for almost none of the usual health benefits that befall regular employees. And they are certainly not regularly attending school as their counterparts are.
The government should definitely butt in and regulate the shit out of their pimping mothers (that is Bellaluna’s favorite word of the day!)
If Vanessa aborted, it proved she is a far more responsible and ethical woman than this tiaras piece of crap– Vanessa KNEW when to NOT become a mother, unlike this clown who IS a mother, and a terrible one at that!!
And her argument proves her not only to be stupid, but to lack common logic. Her argument is totally irrelevant and invalid to the situation at hand.
My exact thoughts.
Right on. This so-called pageant mom is just another 2 bit dime-a-dozen slutty ho who’s trying to make her daughter into the same thing. Feel so sorry for the little girl. Go Vanessa for speaking your mind. At least you have one unlike this poor excuse for a mother.
YES! exactly my thoughts!
Thank you for saying this.
YES! Exactly.
Umm, sorry to interrupt the abortion love fest here, but couldn’t she have placed the baby for adoption? And before you start, yes I am an adoptive mom.
She could have yes but carrying a baby for nine months is at time psychically draining and emotionally draining when you know that your going to have to give your own child up for adoption possibly never see them again knowing they will be raised by someone else. That’s diffcult for some people to handle a lot of time people make the choice to give their child up only to change their mind knowing they are not ready to take care of a child it just not that easy to give your child up she probably knew she beable to give the baby up when it came time too. Abortion isn’t easy either it involves a lot of emotions and decsion making for some people that’s the best for them for some it’s adoption it’s about what’s best for the woman at that time in her life.
African American children in foster care tend to not get adopted out. So yes, I think she did make the responsible decision. IMO, foster care is a fate worse than death.
Also, Vanessa was in High School. She was a minor, and minors make terrible mistakes by having sex before they’re ready, all the time.
This ‘mother’ is an ADULT, making these costuming decisions, treating her toddler like a show pony, re-living her own lost youth and beauty.
I’m also an adoptive mom, of five boys who now range in age from 12 to 25. Do you mean to sound sanctimonious about this? Because, quite frankly, I’m not seeing an ‘abortion love fest’ here but a group of women who understand how young and vulnerable an 18 year old girl (and survivor of sexual abuse) is.
Your judging statement posed as a question is despicable.
Love fest?? That’s about as sick and twisted as anything I’ve heard.
Sanctimony, thy name is you.
If your prepared to have sex then you should be prepared to have a baby period! (obviously not including women who get pregnant via molestation/sexual assault/force).
People need to take responsibility for their actions.
healthy white babies are a hot commodity when it comes to adoption; even healthy children of color were most definitely behind the adoption 8 ball back then.
@Kim, 2012 is frantically waving at you so you could join it, it ain’t 1954 anymore.
2012, where Women have taken responsibility for their sexuality and have STOPPED being breeding mares. If you are only having sex because you are ready to assume the responsibility of children, then there is a HORRIBLE mis-configuration in our built-in functional system: They’re called clitoris and G-spot. Say hello to Kim.
There is a reason why the abstinence talk does not work, and hasn’t worked in over 2 decades: your humanoid hormones do not encourage your abstinence, rather push you to explore your senses. And like all pent-up frustrations, you explode and commit irresponsible actions that you later regret.
The abstinence talk has not worked, it has utterly and monumentally FAILED. More teenagers are having children, earlier and earlier, with different partners, and yet, the government has not been able neither stop them, nor to give responsibilize the fathers as well either.
What works is education. Educate your daughters and your sons about their bodies, and their responsibility in regards to their changing bodies.
Blaming a young girl for getting pregnant because… What? Some higher power had intended it so, and she should live with the result? If this were true, than taking your ass to the doctor’s to treat your cancer or any form of life-altering physical and health situation, would also be against the “ruling of a higher power”. Not saying that pregnancy is like cancer, but you cannot apply one rule to fit your deluded faith and then disregarded it to save your own health, or life. If choosing to disallow abortion as God’s will, than it also must be applied to all physical and mental health situations. Stop punishing women because someone else spoke of what is intended on us.
Besides, shouldn’t we start blaming men for their child abandonment, or heck mass murdering, every time they ejaculate outside a vagina?
@Kim
I’m guessing you are either in your teens or early 20s and haven’t seen much of the real world that a lot of women and girls live in. Your understanding of the issue is horribly naive. Get back to us in 20 years or so after you have lived a little and seen how life really works.
Go, Maquita!
Maquita, you rock!
Whoa wait a minute– whats all this against Kim’s comment [abotu being prepared to be a parent]- thats basically true and its the whole reason behind sex. Meaning, *biologically* speaking- that is the goal. The pleasure of it is just to encourage it, and not the main purpose of sex, although thats what we have empowered ourselves to achieve (with varying success). And she didnt even say the word abstinence. Huh?
The views on abstinence are ok, but… I dont see why it was mentioned.
And yes, people who have sex DO need to be responsible!
@Kim – how good of you to make assumptions about the situations that lead women to terminate and stereotype them as irresponsible and selfish. I terminated a pregnancy not because I had the most heinous hyperemisis gravidarum but because there was a significant genetic/developmental issue and I thought it much kinder to terminate a pregnancy early than to worry about the torture I’d be inflicting on an infant if a miscarriage/fetal death didn’t happen prior to delivery. I for one don’t get the, it’s OK to inflict cruelty on a child so I can maintain my moral superiority attitude that comes from anti-choicer folks who think a zygote is a human being
@teehee
The problem with Kim’s comment is that it assumes an ideal world where women/girls always choose to have sex and always have equal power. It further assumes that abstinence is realistic and/or that options to terminate a pregnancy don’t exist. 50% of the population having sex with the other 50%, either willingly or through coercion, shouldn’t equate to one side having to accept being a parent before they are ready or capable.
Abortion is not a bad thing. A fetus is not a human and cannot survive outside of the mother. A fetus is leaching off the mother. There is nothing wrong with having an abortion. Also not everyone has access to birth control or can afford it.
@teehee, actually what Kim has said EXACTLY is: “if your prepared to have sex then you should be prepared to have a baby period!” PERIOD.
Meaning you should not have sex before you are ready to have children.
(Hope at least her comment applies to men as well… Because if she only had women in mind, than this is going piss me off to a whole new level.)
And that is the reason of my outrage at the Santorum-like female degradation and setting us back to the 1950s. And understandably, when someone is talking about NO sex before being ready to have children, this to me, completely relates and reflects the many useless speeches about abstinence we’ve heard through the years.
But please, feel free to read my comment, because obviously, I clearly highlight the importance of education and taking responsibility for one’s body and protecting it.
@Maguita
I’m ‘old’ (early 40s) and grew up in the South. I forget that women are allowed to actually enjoy sex nowadays without always having to say “I’m sorry”! Thanks for the reminder!
dummy first we are talking about what a mom does to her child and then this abusive mom talks about what Vanessa chose to do to herself as an adult. The arguments do not compare. The so called mom is wrong and Vanessa was grown
@Maguita I could kiss you right now for that perfectly phrased comment but I’d be afraid Kim would not approve! 😉
Thank you guys! And there is really no time nor age limit to remembering your right as a woman, and your right to taking charge and responsibility of your own sexuality. Why apologize for something that does not cause war, nor genocides, nor terrors and uncertainty. But something that makes your heart beat younger, you skin glow, and all your tensions to just go away and leave you mellllowwww…
Thank you for saying that teehee. So sick of abortion being demonized and used to shame women when it can indeed be a very responsible choice. Vanessa later went on to have 4 kids – she became a mother when it was right for her. Also, just because someone can breed, doesn’t mean they should – these Toddlers & Tiaras mothers are proof of that.
And MST, I realize that this article isn’t about this so I will just say that I think it is naive to assume that adoption is always a feasible alternative to an abortion. Adoption is not just a decision that can be made easily after gestating another thing into viability for 9 months. The adoption system is also not ideal for many children. Also, an unwanted pregnancy is hard enough when someone has a stable family life, income, etc. but in high school? Her life could have been vastly different. She made the choice that was right for her at the time and went on to have kids, again, when it was right for her, which is the way it should be.
Two thumbs up lunabell!
Why are we defending Vanessa’s choices as a woman when the point is the Tiara mom’s are abusing children. There is not comparison. If the children don’t want to do something Vanessa is 1000 percent right, they should not be forced to do it. What Vanessa chose to do as an adult should not be part of the conversation. That mom is using is as a diversion and u all are falling for it and going off the subject. The subject is child abuse not what people do as adults.
Im not making any pro- or anti-abortion comment at all (no ‘love fest’); rather I was speaking in the very narrow confines of this situation— just comparing the two womens’ decision making skills and responsibility. They both acted very differently when faced with motherhood and one of them made an irresponsible chice to go ahead with the pregnancy or to not give the child to better care, in my very superficial opinion (cough the tiara queen cough).
You did good teehee. This is a divisive issue and while one side is usually willing to accept the other’s opinion of what is right for them the sentiment isn’t often (um, ever) reciprocated.
Time for a COME TO JESUS talk: teenagers brains are not fully developed until the age of 21. That’s right..their BRAINS ARE NOT FULLY DEVELOPED UNTIL 21. What that means is that they make bad judgements until the frontal lobe of the brain is fully connected. The frontal lobe is where impulse control is located.
So, STFU about abortions and unsafe sex and how teenagers are terrible f*cking people and go look in the mirror Toddler Pageant Momster.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124119468
I could be completely wrong but (ages ago – maybe 20 yrs), I was taught that the brain doesn’t finish developing until around 25. The last part to develop (I think) is the ability to think long term.
In other words, Amen 🙂
Note that Anderson Cooper’s show had just given the moms “pageant makeovers” so that they might have some sympathy for their daughters. It didn’t work.
Of course it didn’t work — they think what they do is fine. But most importantly: was Cooper expecting them to get sarcasm/irony?
You can see she’s totally thinking she’s the most awesome looking woman ever!
He should have given them four year old makeovers so they can see what a four year old is actually supposed to look like.
Didn’t know about Vanessa being molested but I’m glad for her honesty about all things including the abortion. Many women have abortions then go on to have children when they are in a better situation like Vanessa. She is a strong woman who is not going to be shamed into staying quiet about abusive pagent parents. Go Vanessa.
If it was the fathers doing this show with their daughters I believe there would be outrage, but I guess in society it is ok for mothers to abuse their daughters like this because they are “mothers” just like Octomom.
Have you seen sports dad? They’re in a whole different league. If TLC did a show on that i guarantee you’ll b sick
well what do you expect from someone who dresses her daughter like a stripper?
I stick to my theory: some women shouldn’t be allowed to have children.
+1….WELL SAID!!!
That atrocious mother and that little kid really scare the hell out of me. She could pass as Chucky’s girlfriend.
HA! so true.
“Posing nude and having an abortion is ‘not my world’ and I would never have my kids do that”
That Stodden chick’s mother called and wants to have a talk with you to set you straight honey.
“Posing nude and having an abortion is ‘not my world’ and I would never have my kids do that”
Vanessa didn’t have her kids do that either!
Courtney Stodden is also a former pageant girl hahahahaa!
And how does mommy know her precious Paisley won’t go down the same road? Maybe the girl will be tired of mom’s famewhoring by age 15 and decides to rebel. I hope Vanessa Williams will then be around to say BIATCH PLEASE, SIT DOWN!
Despite all my attempts to live ethically and tolerate different views, these mothers make me wish there was mandatory sterilization for women who intend to pimp out little girls. These women are vile and have me all riled up now.
If I was a kid named Paisley, dressed up like pedo-bait, forced on stage by a mom who never had fame herself and therefore projecting her dreams on her daughter, I WISH she had gotten an abortion.
It’s always the stagemoms delusional idea that a 3 year old wants fame. When I was 3 I didn’t even know what the word meant, but mkay. Guess her mom also has an excuse for that, maybe something along the lines of ‘my baby is supersmart, of course she knows what fame means’. BLEH.
I think some mothers have to start the kids so early, because the poor kid inherited the mom’s ‘fat genes’ and gets fed the same food their obese mothers are eating, therefore the kid will be ‘too fat’ by the time she starts school. I’m not trying to be mean, but doesn’t it seem like most of these pageant moms are grossly obese AND unfortunate-looking? They think we can’t tell they’re living through their daughters’ adorableness at that age.
Yeah you are right.. hahaaa i laughed at ‘unfortunate looking’ haha
And tbh, I find a lot of the kids that participate in these pageants not even pretty :O Maybe mean to say that about a kid, but some are just plain ugly. :O
Also the attitude on some of the kids; when they lose they are pissed, telling everyone they are prettier than anybody else etc.. And that comes out of the mouth of a 5year old:O I understand mom probably built that ego, but still.. They only learn it is all about looks, and since most of them aren’t even that pretty and will never be if I judge their parents looks, they will get a hard time in society probably. People too full of themselves don’t make friends, they make enemies..
I like Vanessa and I woul’d like to read her memoir.
I have a lot of respect for her too. Amazing woman.
And how does Wendy know that in the future her daughter won’t pose nude or have an abortion?
Considering the way Paisley is being raised, I wouldn’t be surprised if she ended up in some very unsavoury situations.
Exactly!!
Good call. She really is setting up her daughter for a very tragic future.
Wendy Dickey is a dick. That’s the nasty attack of someone who has no defense for their actions. What she and those other pageant moms are doing to their daughters is inexcusable.
I hope Vanessa doesn’t respond though. Clearly this dumbshit mother is attention starved, and this only feeds into it.
Vanessa is still so beautiful. I saw her in person a few years ago, but it was from a bit of a distance.
If Wendy Dickey (great name) were a bit more relevant, someone would dig through her sh-t and find something really really interesting. I’d bet money on that.
With a name like that she must have had porn-offers hahaaha..
And since she needs to make money and already uses her daughter to get that, I wouldn’t be surprised if she also uses her body -.-
I think I would rather sell my body than use my little girl to make some bucks (and dress her up like an actual hooker on TV, while mentioning full names, so every pedo that watches can track them down easily. This biatch is crazy and a hypocrite.
There’s something extremely wrong in our society when women are ALLOWED to treat children the way this Wendy woman does. As for Vanessa, I hope she ignores this woman’s comments. At least Vanessa was coming from a place of logic and reason.
This woman is turning her daughter into a piece of trash. All she is doing is robbing her child of self worth and telling her that her that looks are the only thing that is important. Ugh. I feel so sorry for these kids when they will be forced to enter the real world.
Shame on this pageant mom for trying to shame Vanessa for speaking out and being a role model for other girls and women. Vanessa had some rough times and she turned out well, she has nothing to be ashamed of.
Role model? I don’t like the way she carved up her nose. It looks completely different from when she was Miss America. What kind of message does this give to black women?
That you can make decisions about your body as an adult and don’t need to feel forced to do what makes other people happy?
I think that’s a great message, role model she is 🙂
I was referring to what was at issue in the article (dealing with abuse, making the responsible choice to have an abortion). I was not saying that every single thing about VW is perfect. I don’t think people who do good or are inspirational in one department have to be perfect across the board. I certainly don’t think her having a nose job automatically makes her a bad role model.
When she was crowned Miss America (I saw it from the womb) I thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
I saw it outside the womb and you’re right, bluhare, VW was utter perfection. Just gorgeous.
Still gorgeous, of course, but in her prime—breath-taking.
What does her nose have to do with this? And tell me what messages are the countless white women who chemically peel, over-tan, inject, fill and pull their faces sending to other white women? Sounds really stupid doesn’t it? If someone hates their nose, then I say go for it. She didn’t go cosmetic surgery crazy. She was asked a question and she answered it. She didn’t go on the warpath against T & T.
My daughter did pageants when she was really young. I dressed her like the little girl she was; no make up, no prostitute clothes, no wigs and she did pretty well. When she turned 6, she said she didn’t want to do it anymore. Broke my heart, but that was the end of it. I witnessed crazy moms making their little girls say & do the craziest crap. One mother yelled at her little girl to “wink” at the men! I’m sure that girl is on a pole somewhere now.
The mothers that promote their little toddler daughters as sex objects should be locked up..period! These women are sick and people that promote this show are just as sick!
Good job Vanessa for speaking up!
I am embarrassed to say that I worked with these monsters. I did costume & make-up design for dance troops & recitals. Soon the pageant Moms clamored for my services. They were the only ones that I got into horrendous fights with about what THEY wanted to put their little dumplings in.
Over the top, much?
Vanessa Williams didn’t say anything to warrant the slam. Given that Vanessa had access to a world where her children could have gone into the business and yet, she seemingly didn’t encourage or forced them into it, seems like a plus to me. And the fact that she didn’t let her pageant disappointment mark her life – hell, she seemed to transcend it, IMO, makes Vanessa a potential role model for these pageant kids.
That ‘mother’ needs to check herself because this outburst is more detrimental to her daughter than anything that Vanessa has done.
speaking of pageants, why are there no regulations about a minimum age of pageant participants. i swear they get younger every year.
i don’t know about the US, but in my country there are Cutest Toddler Awards, Cutest Kid Talent Show, Cutest Baby. even send in your newborn photos and we’ll pick the cutest. They barely got out of their placenta, maybe!
The scariest thing is that these babies (yes, even less than 1-year-olders) are being made up. not just in nice clothes, but also “make up” or nail polish their babies up. i know that there are some kids-grade nailpolishes and what not. but really?
i don’t believe that the kids necessarily want that. and babies aren’t exactly known to voice opinions, right? i get it that parents are understandably proud of their children, but really?
I’m sure TLC is already prepping a “Cutest Sonograms!” show as we speak.
Vanessa Williams has always been in my top ten of most beautiful celebrities!!!
wow. she’s stunning.
and sooooooooooo funny as a actress.
miss ugly betty.
Saving The Best For Last is one of the most amazing ballads of all times.
go on Vanessa!!
the other woman should just SIT DOWN.
Not a fan of child pageants but this mom makes a point. Vanessa has made some bad mistakes along the way as far as posing nude and lying about it to the pageant staff. I dont believe she was taken advantage of. Women ALLOW themsleves to be taken advanatge of. Unless she had a gun to her head she made the choice to pose nude & then deny she did.
People in glass houses….
Williams made mistakes with her own life whereas she was criticizing mothers who are pushing their young and not always willing children into these pageants and doing so very publicly. The more the pageant moms keep their daughters in the public eye, the more people will have a preconceived notion of these girls based on this advanced publicity that was, essentially, created by the pageant moms.
You are so right. Women and girls ALLOW themselves to be physically abused, sold as prostitutes, molested, raped, degraded, lured by sexual predators, etc etc. They didn’t all have guns to their heads so that MUST mean they really wanted it, right?
What a world you must want to live in if you choose to call a woman who says that she is a victim a liar rather than look for avenues for to help women never have to be in those situations to begin with.
Kim, She has stated being molested when she was young caused her to act out sexually later and is why she feels she was vulnerable to those photos. Sexualizing these tots is a bad message. She can say her feelings on it. We all live in glass houses to some extent. That doesn’t mean from life experiences and evolving as a mature human being we can’t disapprove of something and state an opinion.
Gosh Kim. I can’t believe I’m writing in to slap you down again. Young women allow themselves to be victimized? Grow up and pray it never happens to you or your children when you eventually have them. Just this week I called authorities to report what I think is a human trafficking situation in my upscale neighborhood. I was once as innocent and perfect as you, free to pass judgement on all those who had it harder than me. And then life taught me a few humbling lessons.
I know it’s been stated before, Kim, but I just feel the need to reiterate, as you and others don’t get it:
Wendy Dickey does not have a point. Vanessa slammed the mother’s actions with regard to her child. She did not make a single reference to how Wendy Dickey lives her own life outside of prostituting her daughter.
Had Wendy found fault with Vanessa’s treatment of her own children, then a response regarding same might have been appropriate.
Vanessa made a very valid point and Wendy responded by criticizing something totally irrelevant to the issue Vanessa referenced.
Wendy Dickey is a moron.
She had an abortion because she was a teen and it’s better than taking care of a child she didn’t want or cannot take care of in the first place. This pagent mom is out of line. I suppose letting the pedophiles drool over her daughter is called being a responsible parent?
Can’t wait until Paisley grows up. What a head case that little girl will be.
I imagine Courtney Stodden version 2.0
But I guess whoring your child out for a paycheck is perfectly acceptable. With the way this woman is raising her daughter, in 20 years she’ll probably wish the only thing her daughter had done was have an abortion and pose nude in a magazine.
Honestly, I’ve never paid too much attention to Vanessa Williams in the past, but she is incredibly brave for living a life like that and coming out with it to make girls that go through the same things not feel alone.
One day when women aren’t shamed for making the responsible decision for their situation with abortion and ARE shamed for selling their daughter dressed as a sex worker for fame and money, we might be able to breathe a damn sigh of relief.
I watched a clip of this show. I will never watch this show and hate that women are supporting the sexualization of young children by watching it and thus keeping it on the air.
P.S. Vanessa has a really beautiful voice. Loved her hit album.
What’s the difference between Williams and the toddlers mom? That she realize that she didn’t want to mess up the kids life unlike the toddlers mom who is obviously ill-equip to be one.
The Toddlers & Tiaras mom seems to be irresponsible regarding how she is dressing her daughter plus the whole pageant thing.
I disagree with the commenters above who describe Vanessa’s abortion as “ethical” and “responsible.” I would merely describe Vanessa’s abortion as legal. I don’t judge her for it, but I wouldn’t defend her for it either.
Then why talk about it at all?
Oh you know… Free country and all.
This skank should have that child taken away from her. Dressing her like a freakin’ prostitute? Really? Its bad enough there are people who prey on children in the world, do they really need more encouragement?
And sorry, but what the F does Vanessa’s abortion when she was in high school have to do with dressing your toddler like a slut?
My ass she wouldnt advocate her money bag to pose nude and have an abortion! Wait until the kid is in her teens…just wait for it.
I got the impression from the clip that Vanessa was also trying to explain that when she was in pageants they were nothing like “Toddlers and Tiaras.” I was a senior in H.S. when Vanessa won Miss America and had a few friends who had grown up doing pageants. Back then it wasn’t even CLOSE to what it is today. Talent was a deciding factor in pageants in the past–second only to NATURAL beauty.
The pageant pimp mom totally has a chip on her shoulder. She’s overly defensive, so she interpreted Vanessa’s comment as a personal attack. My feeling is that at this point Wendy knows what she is doing to her daughter is wrong…but she’s enamored with their pathetic little ounce of fame, and she can’t let go of it. Sad.
Dickey is a ridiculous ass. So are all of the mothers on Toddlers and Tiaras. If someone dressed those little girls in those outfits and had them perform at home privately for a bunch of men, they would probably be accused of kiddie porn and have their children removed from their home. But because it’s done in a large room with a bunch of other “mothers” exploiting their kids as well, for money and prizes no less, it’s called a “pageant”. Shame on those attention-seeking mothers.
I SO agree Lia! I can barely think rationally about these kiddy pageants – I just want to stomp those horrid Moms into the dirt for exploiting their young daughters in such a disgusting manner!
What a weird, irrelevant jab. Approximately 40% of American women will have an abortion in their lifetime… so I guess almost half the women in the USA are not allowed to judge that psycho pageant mom for anything, ever.
I know I will get a lot of flack for saying this but there’s another 20% of women who should get an abortion but don’t. In the end their children will wind up in foster care or worse because they had the baby and refused to be parents or put their kids up for adoption.
Now I’m not saying that adoption isn’t an answer but let’s face it. Our foster care system is overrun and overworked. There are many kids, normally of minority races that are always overlooked for adoption and then there are children born who are gravely disabled that further burden the foster care system. When every child has a home to go and every child is born healthy, then we can talk about banning abortion.
“If you’re prepared to have sex, you should be prepared to have a baby.”
Why do I only hear women getting that lecture while men are still celebrated for racking up sexual conquests? I can’t believe there are still women around that think we deserve punishment for our sexual decisions or mistakes just because we have the ability to incubate fetuses. You had better believe that if men could get pregnant, they would be aborting left and right. You know what else? There would be little to no debate about whether they had the right to do so.
Yep. Women are persecuted for having desire: attacked, punished, even killed because we also have drives built into us; (acid attacks, stoning, jealous rages, genital mutilation etc) and even when its a natural, right and good thign that we, too, can and should enjoy. Heck this happens in ‘developed’ countries too, but in a more invisible form of mental attack by categorizing women with desire as tramps, whores, homewreckers, etc. Or I even feel that most women who do act out sexual lives, seem to be doing more to please the mans attitude and needs of sex rather than to discover her own….and then trumpet how ’empoewred’ she *thinks* she is… which breaks my heart.
But anyway…
I cant really conclude that comment, though I’ve tried…. so I’ll just let it stand at that.
You boggle the mind teehee, I don’t understand your stand, honestly. One minute you say that desire is a simple by-product to encourage women into bearing children, and the next, you are raving against the prosecution of our sexuality for the sake of its simple pleasure..? And if we assume our pleasure we are conning ourselves in order to please a man?.. Quite contradicting I find.
This is what you have said earlier, so to explain my boggled mind:
teehee says:
May 3, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Whoa wait a minute– whats all this against Kim’s comment [abotu being prepared to be a parent]- thats basically true and its the whole reason behind sex. Meaning, *biologically* speaking- that is the goal. The pleasure of it is just to encourage it, and not the main purpose of sex, although thats what we have empowered ourselves to achieve (with varying success). “
There is no greater moral authority than a woman who dresses up her young daughter like a prostitute and enters her in beauty pageants.
I actually think that the attitudes about sex in today’s society and abortion saddens me. It saddens me that people think because there is this newfound sexual freedom that a child’s life is meaningless despite knowing what intercourse is likely to result in even with the utmost precautions. I don’t think every abortion happens because of this ideal but I certainly feel that this is a component that shows how fucked up we are as human beings.
But you know what equally saddens me? People who bring children into the world, fuck them up immensely and then have a nerve to stand on their soapbox about someone else’s private business. I don’t have to agree with abortion but how dare anyone sit up there and shame someone for something they know nothing about? What that lousy mother is doing to her child will have a far greater affect on society when her daughter’s issues affect others all because her mom is living out some fantasy through her.
Whether I agree with it or not, women have a right to choose and that choice is not something that should be made shameful on either side of the line. I support that choice and this pageant mom should shut the hell up.
Vanessa sharing her story was courageous and as a survivor of sexual abuse, I can tell that it is very easy to either become promiscuous or extremely prudish as a teenager and her choices are a result of that. It is great that she has come to terms with such difficult times and I am glad she has spoken out about this same sex molestation with females because it happens a lot more than you think.
Someone needs to sterilize that pageant mom.
^I also have feelings on both sides. Its hard to do the right thing and its very dependent upon the situation, as well, so you cant even make a general rule and always profess it to be true…
I think we do need to remember the real function of sex– above all, MEN need to get this into their heads–. If men understood that better, I think women would have less need for abortions anyway. Wonder who gets them pregnant to begin with?? But we bear the blame for it all, before, during, and after. Yet I also believe 110% in womens right to her own pleasure.
Wait wait wait wait WAIT.
Because Vanessa had an abortion as a teenager, that gives her no right to state that she wouldn’t dress her child up like mini Madams, stuff them with sugar, caffeine, and make them OD on MAC and Revlon? It doesn’t matter if Vanessa had a thousand abortions and ate the fetuses; she has the right to say what she thinks and what she would do with her own children.
And everyone gets to judge everyone! My GOD, these idiots are tarting up their kids TO.BE.JUDGED! FFS, the cognitive dissonance with these White Rain huffing asshats goes beyond the normal level of stupidity. We’re encroaching upon weapons grade idiocy here.
Love THIS!!
Excellent comment – thank you daisyfly!!
Yes, Vanessa has probably had her tonsils out too, both legal procedures by the way trashmonster parent who whores out her child for attention and the love of control and most likely abuse she can visit on her child. A total asshole of a parent for this remark. There is nothing wrong with getting an abortion, it’s a legal procedure we get to CHOOSE to get if we need to, like a tonsillectomy. I hate jerks.
This kind of thing should certainly be illegal, the sexualization of tots, how gross is that? Why is this legal? This just gives more impetus to child pornographers and pedophiles…what are these mothers thinking? This is a completely separate issue from Vanessa and has nothing to do with her, abortion or not. This is ridiculous and sick.
I can’t even watch these shows to snark on because I always picture the pervert creeps who are probably watching.
Shame..shame on any mother who would do this to their daughter.
Defensive much? Trashy cow dressing her kid up like a whore. Ten to one that kid is pregnant at 15.
My thoughts exactly! I feel sorry for these little girls who are forced to do this. I hope they spit in their parents’ faces when they’re older.
These “beauty pageants” are nothing more than places for pedophiles to get their rocks off – with the blessing of the so-called “mothers.”
These pageants are child abuse, period. (And how Williams’ abortion compares with pimping out your toddler daughter just so you can live the life you wish you had is beyond me.)
Im pro-choice and a supporter of adoption. I wouldn’t question either choice. One thing bothering me is the inference that abortion is the ultimate option when it concerns the birth of black babies when abort or adoption are considered. That’s a very dangerous and reckless thing to say. Im very aware of the struggles of adoption for black children but pushing abort as a better option over adoption because of your views on foster care; are ill advised.
Intended to have this comment as a response to several people in a thread but got a comment error.
Wait, someone inferred abortion as an option specifically because of superfluous black babies? I don’t think so. Are you sure? Go back and re-read the thread. I will as well, but I’m pretty sure no one inferred or said that outright.
Read the comments in response to MST @ 5/3/12 11:04 am. The first comment about black babies is from leeloo @11:19 then continue to read down and there is another from ol cranky but that comment isn’t as direct as leeloos.
Im on a cell phone so makes it a bit hard to go back and forth to source.
I think there may be some big misunderstandings about my comments. My comment at 1:06 healthy white babies are a hot commodity when it comes to adoption; even healthy children of color were most definitely behind the adoption 8 ball back then. was in response to MST’s comment which implied that Williams was selfish/myopic for choosing abortion over putting a child up for adoption. Williams may well have considered adoption but found out that children of color, even healthy ones, weren’t adopted so readily back then. Nobody is/was encouraging anyone to abort for that reason but I do know that some women have let that knowledge impact their decision because they feel never allowing an embryo to develop into a baby is preferable to a baby being stuck in the foster care system with limited hope of finding a family to adopt them.
WHOA! Way harsh, Tai.
Can we just agree to let grown folks live their lives, instead of treating grown ups like children? Can we, pretty please?
Even Beyonce’s crazy ass.
Wendy Dickey must be feeling pretty thin skinned these days, because in no way did Vanessa Williams call her out. She only said that parents were putting children into pageants too soon and giving them special juice to get them hyped, and that’s not her world. Then Wendy comes out with bitchmouth overflowing, because she thought this was about her. Unfortunately she is just one of the many delusional Moms in the pageant world. I think it was courageous of Vanessa to talk about her abortion and abuse. Wendy needs to sit down and STFU.
There is something really sick and twisted about a mother who dresses up her daughter as a prostitute and then shames someone else for having an abortion as a teenager. I mean hello, does this idiot not see the connection? She’s setting her own kid up for sexual dysfunction and teenage parenthood.