Our most commented story on Monday was an essay by a 45 year-old British woman named Karen Marley. Karen claims to be a serial mistress, and she went on at length about how she preferred to date married men for various reasons. In Karen’s world, her friendships with these men are harmless and she takes the position that what the wives don’t know hurt them. She thinks that in many cases she helps spice up marriages. I of course disagree. Karen’s essay read like Samantha Brick’s recent treatise on her (questionable) beauty, and some thought it might be a put-on meant to publicize a cheaters website in the UK, which was mentioned throughout. Given my dealings with her, I believe she’s genuine about it and that she’s a real person. I could be wrong.
Karen and I emailed back and forth throughout the day on Monday and into Tuesday. (She used the same email as is shown on her website.) She first e-mailed me asking me to change the wording in our post on her, calling it libelous. She asked us to take the story down (which she was successful in doing with Radar Online, as she explains on her Twitter) but I countered that we were just repeating what she had personally written, and that if I changed the title from “bedding” to “dating” married men it wouldn’t have varied at all from what she wrote. She was cool with that, and we got into a pretty interesting and respectful debate about the topics she brought up in her essay. She was upset that people kept focusing on her looks, which she found superficial and not related to the issue. She also really didn’t see the harm in what she was doing, and the things she wrote me mirrored the essays she’s written for British outlets.
I still find her actions morally wrong, and I still cringe when I read how she’s trying to justify herself, but I will admit to having more respect for her now. This is a very charming lady who was able to sort-of win me over with her words. If she’s that slick in email, imagine how she must be in person. She’s a lady player, ya’ll and she’s in no way apologetic about it. Here’s what she wrote just for us. My name is “Katie,” which is what she’s referring to below.
This is my chance to set the record straight. I’m sure it won’t silence the haters, but I never claimed to be a Jackass Whisperer. There will always be people quick to judge on looks alone, quick to jump to conclusions based on a headline, regardless of whether it is true or not, and quick to form an opinion without knowing all the facts.
Gossip sites wouldn’t be gossip sites if those people didn’t exist. But thankfully, Katie is happy to give me a voice, to give you the facts. Most will still hate me, and hate what I do, despite what I write today, and you are all welcome to that view, but if I manage to change the opinion of just one person then I will be satisfied.
My name is Karen Marley and I am a Serial Mistress.
I have been dating married men for six years. And by dating I mean exactly that – DATING. I originally went on the dating website for married members simply because I had met so many supposedly single men on ‘normal’ dating sites. They claimed to be unattached but dropped off the planet every evening and weekend. How many of you reading this now, even the ones who despise me, can honestly, without a shadow of doubt, say they have never dated/kissed/flirted with another person’s spouse or partner?
Either knowingly or in complete oblivion, I can guarantee a huge proportion of readers will have done something with someone who wasn’t completely available.
I chose the site so I would know what I was getting in to. And as I preferred my single life, and every single man I had dated wanted something serious too soon, the married man fitted into what I was looking for at the time. I thoroughly enjoyed my single status, and still do. I could do what I wanted when I wanted and had to answer to no one; something a lot of people initially struggled to understand, but ultimately envied. I also realised I didn’t NEED a man to complete me. I was secure and confident, with an active social life, lots of friends and a great family, so I didn’t feel there was space for a full-time man. I still wanted the company of a man occasionally, but certainly didn’t ‘need’ one.
The first married man I met slotted into my life perfectly, as a companion and a great friend. We spent time together once every couple of weeks until he moved away, and we parted. We are still good friends now but don’t get chance to meet up. I moved on to another married man from the site, and our arrangement worked just as well as the last.
It left me time for the things I wanted to do, and gave him the ego boost he needed to go back to his wife with a spring in his step.
As time went on I met more married men via illicitencounters.com and became good friends with many of them. Occasionally the chemistry wasn’t quite what I expected, or circumstances/distance/work commitments invariably got in the way, so eventually over the years it amounted to over 50 men. Now and again something developed and we became more than friends, but I can assure you it was certainly nothing like the 50 men quoted in the original post about me.
I am, and always have been, incredibly choosy about my men, and I take my time over anything that could progress past friendship. How many single women reading this can say they have been so choosy with single men, either from the internet or in bars?
Over the six years I can remember, fondly, each lover I have had. Would I be able to do that if the numbers were over 50? Can you remember all of your single lovers over the years? Honestly?
In the last few days it has made me question what actually constitutes cheating. I have dated many men but not bedded them as it has been claimed, but does that count as an affair? Where does the affair begin? In his head when he makes the conscious decision to join a website to look for a mistress? Or the minute his penis enters any part of the other woman?
In the press, infidelity can vary from indiscretions on Twitter, through exchanging naked pictures via text message, to Bill Clinton ‘innocent’ oral sex, and Tiger Woods’ serial adultery. But where, in reality, does the line actually lie? And from the mistress perspective, when do I go from being a normal, single woman getting to know a man, to the evil mistress who should be vilified? How many of you have flirted a little with someone at work? Or smiled sweetly at a stranger across a bar? Does that make you a mistress? How many have got to know a man and found out later he was attached, but carried on the friendship anyway? How many can say they don’t have at least one phone number of a married man saved on their mobile? Does that make you all mistresses? Or are you just innocently friends with a married man? This is my point exactly. The majority of the time I am just that – friends with a married man. Rarely does it become more serious or physical, so can you honestly still call me a whore, slut, slag, slapper, trailer trash, c*m dumpster?
Yes, I know sleeping with married men is shocking, but I have never and will never wreck any homes. If anything gets serious, I end it. If he gets restless at home and sees me as his escape route, I end it. And if his wife ever finds out and questions him, I end it.
I want no part in any destruction or upset, so I keep my feelings in check, and enjoy the man for his charm, sophistication, intelligence and wit. We each know where the boundaries lie and never cross them, and that is how it will always be.
Judge me for what I do, I understand that will always happen. Don’t judge me just for what I look like – we all have different tastes, and I do OK thank you. Wouldn’t the world be a dull place if we all looked alike? Judge me for coming forward to talk about this, but understand that I am not bragging. I’m simply highlighting an alternative lifestyle, and trust me, I’m not the only single woman in the world doing this. But don’t judge me for dating so many men, can you all say you are completely innocent when it comes to your previous dating history?
As the saying goes:
He who is without sin cast the first stone.Thank you for listening to my side of the story.
[From Karen Marley for Celebitchy, received via e-mail, visit her site here]
This is a lousy slippery slope argument. There’s a huge difference between winking at married men or talking to them out of necessity or even casual friendship, and actively seeking them out for a relationship, even if it’s just a “friendship” at first. Emotional affairs do wreck marriages, and those guys aren’t going home to their wives “with a spring in their step,” they’re often comparing how they feel with their wives and the drudgery of every day, with how they feel with the mistress who only has to get taken out for dinner, smile and hang on his every word. Who do you think gets the short stick? The one doing all the hard work through years of laundry, housecleaning and child rearing. This lady lives on a different planet, but I tell you after a few emails with her I told her that I’d take her out for a drink if she was ever in my city. And I meant it.
She makes me sick…and makes the world nonetheless demented with scumbag women like her.
Kathryn, I don’t know why you are STILL concentrating on the woman, and not the men?
Which brings me to CB’s comment (and I apologize CB in advance for freely asking what might be considered hurtful questions):
… “they’re often comparing how they feel with their wives and the drudgery of every day, with how they feel with the mistress.”
Reading the whole statement, in its entirety, CB’s comment on how the wife is actually getting the short-end of a stick, made me wonder… Why are you concentrating on what you ASSUME the other woman is getting, and you are not? And why are you assuming that the man in really coming back home to his wife, children, and responsibilities, WITH RELUCTANCE?
Think upon it.
Isn’t this how we strip men from any mature behavior and responsibilities in adulthood, and make them believe that we are there for them, and all they need in exchange… Is to put a ring on it?
Where are the days of men with honor?
Where are the days were men were expected to do the RIGHT THING, not what made them feel happy (momentarily)?
Where are the days, when a man fought hard for his family, and understood, that family at the end, is all you have, and all that you will leave as memory of your passage on Earth, as proof of your value as a man, is YOUR family.
Has our sexual liberation as women put an end to a man’s honor? Or are we still looking for a good balance in gender roles?
The truth is, we have wasted time in the past century or so, raising our boys to become men without honor. The list of women I know where in moments of trouble within a relationship, a long-term relationship with children involved, where the man just up and left, because he had been miserable apparently for a long time, is endless, and frightful. And what does the man’s mother say? Let him find his happiness. Yes, WE are responsible for raising boys into becoming men without honor. To have children left and right without neither financial nor parental responsibility, WE have accepted to be the sole responsible bearer of our pregnancies, even letting the law reflect such imbecility.
But what about the woman? The wife, the partner, the significant other. The one who made promises at the same time, in front of the same people, saying the same words, signing the same piece of paper as the man?
Wasn’t she also suffering all those years, being miserable as well within the same relationship, but had stuck it out, BECAUSE THAT WHAT SHE HAD PROMISED TO DO? Yes, we have been treated as second-class citizens for so long, that we tend to hold on to our promises so tightly, that we over-perform. In marriages, in under-paid job positions, in debt payments, in everything. Just to prove that we are half as worthy as men.
So… Is this serial mistress taking away your husbands, and making them think about her when they are miserably feeding your children at home, picking up their damn socks, and sadly with unfair joylessness taking out the garbage? OR, have we raised yet another man/child to expect the woman to give him EVERYTHING to make HIM HAPPY, and when that woman doesn’t, well, apparently there is plenty fish in the sea.
I believe, my very PERSONAL OPINION, that after you have divested yourself from your second-grade citizenship, and took ownership of your life, needs and wants, you will pick a MATE. One with whom you are very clear, one to whom you give, and without expectations, from whom you CONSTANTLY receive.
A partnership.
That woman is nothing. That woman is promoting a lifestyle that I call serial dating.
Would I consciously sleep with another woman’s man? F-CK NO. But then again, I am one of those who wouldn’t want to cause another woman pain, because it has been caused to me once. And it was more than enough to understand it all.
And I believe in breaking a cycle.
Maguita-EXCELLENT post.
*sigh* This is a difficult one for me. This lady makes some interesting points and she does seem like someone who has a pretty clear idea of what she’s doing and is not afraid to be held accountable, which I find refreshing. Still I just CANNOT get behind women that pursue men who are taken. I mean, if she’s looking for a man that gives her space and doesn’t make a lot of demands, can’t she find that sort of mutual understanding with an unattached man?
I don’t know…I get the idea of “alternative lifestyle” and she’s entitled to live it but it just seems desparate (for lack of a better word) to actively pursue married men. I still put the onus more on the men that she gets involved with but I just can’t in good conscience get behind this kind of deception.
@ Maguita
standing ovation!*
your post has said everything that needs to be said concerning this.. Your partner/husband/significant other is very lucky to have you in their life. Your a really intelligent woman. Bravo!
Another great post Maguita… if you were ever in my city I’d love to take you for a drink!
@Maguita – Bravo! A feminist bow to you from accross the pond! 🙂
That was beautiful, a damn grand reply. Good on ya girl! Very compelling. Score Maquita!
@Maguita, what city are you in? If our tour gets there, I’d love to take you out for a drink!
Always insightful and smart.
^^cosign everything Maguita said. Brava!
I agree that the man should get the most grief and the sh*t end of the stick when he is found to be having an affair, but if you know that mistress knows he is a married man, then damn real that woman should get some heat to.
Going after a married or taken man when you know he should be off limits is just as wrong and a b*tch should be held accountable and made aware that her actions were wrong. The guy def deserves most of the grief though.
I honestly feel the worst for women who have no idea they are getting with a taken man. To be caught in the middle like that must be horrible. I would never be mad at the woman in that case, but if it’s someone I know, who knows he’s taken, his and her ass are grass.
Ladies, color-me surprised! I was expecting female bashing, but instead got support, and well-worded disagreements. Thank you, thank you, you are truly wonderful CB readers!
@person
I understand the blaming the other woman point of view. I do.
IMO though, blaming the other woman feels too much of a Band Aid. Or if you will, pill-popping to cover the pain, rather than dealing head on with the root of the problem.
We can blame women for “stealing” our men for the rest of our days, or we can start raising our boys to become men with honor. Men who hold on to their promises, vows, contractual obligations, paternal responsibilities, and all-over equal-gender-maturity in expected adult-societal behavior.
The damage is done. Why hammering on the same nail, expecting different outcomes?
We, Us, Women, had allowed men to take away our rights, yet again, but this time, with our FULL support. We have allowed ourselves to fully agree in becoming THIRD-GRADE citizens, because dogs right now have more rights to medical treatments and legal protection than women in the US today. We allowed emotional manipulation, by a gender minority no less (I think there are still more females than males in N-America, right?) to manipulate the majority into doing more, in exchange or oh-so-much less.
*wipes away tears and claps* 🙂
You should ask money for your wisdom, you’ll be rich in no time.
Maguita…….
Bravo!
@Feebee,
You’re on! We can’t always count on Bellaluna to get her cracktinis out on time! 😉
Maguita: I just HAD to reply (and I never comment on blogs); I found your post to be one of the most excellent and well-written posts on here. I agree with you whole-heartedly. I, too, believe in breaking the cycle. Well done.
Demented is the correct word for this pseudo-feminist.
First she attempts to capture the moral high ground by suggesting some ambiguity in what truly constitutes infidelity, whereas that line (on both emotional and physical cheating) has long been defined with almost complete unanimity.
Then she attempts to claim that her selectivity over who she “beds” puts her a step above women who sleep with random unattached men – nonsense.
Then comes the coup de grace; that she always leaves before any damage is done to the primary relationship. Now how could she possibly know that? If your husband cheats and you find out, isnt the trust already damaged whether or not the mistress sticks around to watch? Even if the wives never find out, studies have shown that the cheaters guilt has a negative impact on his family life.
And can I just say that as the daughter of an avowed feminist and as a proud feminist myself, I resent any attempt to associate this dysfunction to the movement. Feminism is anchored on sisterhood; this idea that feminine oneness behoves us to empathise with each other. This is no feminist.
Yes! your analysis is spot on. I can’t help but wonder if all these self proclaimed mistresses really enjoy their single life so much, they seem to have some self esteem issue that prevents rhem from thinking that a man could actually choose them for once. they always seem to enjoy ‘sticking it’ to the primary partner, being ‘preferred’ over the chosen one.
@Horizante: We think alike. I’ve just posted a question for Celebitchy below wondering if she was asked why she had not joined a polyamorous dating site. A site where she knew that the wife was aware and approving of the arrangement. In some of those relationships the wife even befriends the mistress. That would be cuddly solution to her “home-wrecking” (as she so quaintly puts it) dilemma. Right?
We know the answer to the question of course. She would never sign-up to that. She gets off on the deception and the competition. She likes that when a married man meets her, he has made the judgement that she is worth the deception to his wife. It validates her, the poor child.
Great points @maguita, @horizonte, @gaelle
There’s no difference between all these men “dating” her or all of them going to a prostitute. She’s cheaper and easier to get and the men don’t think of it as hiring a prostitute. They don’t have to deal with a pimp/madam to get her and they have more control over the arrangement. They also don’t have to worry about getting arrested. In their minds it’s more respectable than a hooker. Even though the reality of it is it’s not. The same can be said for her hooking up with the men. She craves the attention she can get without any work on her part (which is why most people cheat on their spouses). She doesn’t think she’s a home wrecker because she sees it as more of a business arrangement, just like a prostitute. In her mind it’s not her job to worry about the guy’s family. The only thing separating her from being a prostitute is that the guy doesn’t have to pay her directly at the end of the evening. Which is why so many guys love the setup. They are literally getting the milk (ho) for free.
If she claims married men come already trained then why doesn’t she just date divorced men that are not cheating on their spouses? She thinks she is secure and confidant? More like delusional, lazy, and void of emotional attachments. She doesn’t want to deal with the elements that require effort in a real relationship, so she takes the non-commitment route of being used by, and using, men that are looking for a cheap thrill that is easy to get. When does the affair begin? Duh, when a man contacts you from a website that advertises affairs, that pretty much says it all. This woman can’t even rationalize how low her standards are. Her bar is set so low it’s buried in a landfill.
WAKE UP Kathryn. You are so naive to think married men are faithful.
Her verbal game must be on point for sure because she looks like Chris Farley in drag in the Gap Girls sketch.
I clearly see the resemblance to Chris, very astute observation. Mine was more mythical as Miss Piggy strikes me as her complete match, name and all.
Do we seriously have to sink so low as to comment on how she looks? Maybe it’s just because I’ve had an argument with my mirror today, but it does seem quite shallow and unkind to keep bringing up her appearance. I think what’s crucial here is that she seems to be thinking she’s done little/no wrong at all.
She certainly has a way with words, but it must be soul crushing to find out your significant other has been looking further afield for what they want, even if it is just ‘company’. I’d be crushed if I found out my boyfriend had to have another female friend to date on the side. Do I not sufficiently fulfil his dating needs?
Although, it takes two to tango … the ****ers who date this woman must really be pulling the wool over their wives’ eyes.
It would have been best had she let her words stand alone (without the picture), that way we could all subjectively comment on her ugly interior (rather than the the ugly exterior).
corny– I agree; I was just thinking that for a muppet, she writes surprisingly well! 🙂
i’m dying! you’re killing me!!!
If she had the purest morals in the world, how would you feel about criticizing her looks like that? It’d look downright shallow and cruel to me. So while you may think HER morals are shallow or cruel, you shouldn’t stoop to the same level. Or maybe you think what she’s doing would be OK if she looked like a supermodel?
Jay, if she had the purest morals in the world she probably wouldn’t be arguing with Celebitchy–instead she would be out in her community doing good deeds, and we wouldn’t be talking about her at all.
Yes I can remember everyone I’ve been with. And no, I have never been with anyone that was unavailable. Let’s try it this way: I won’t make assumptions about you and you shouldn’t make any about me.
Running offense is never a good defense.
I’ve read this site for years and never commented but I thought the exact same thing – don’t assume we all share your morals. I remember all three of the men I’ve slept with very clearly. My fiance was in a relationship when I met him and I actively avoided and discouraged him until his relationship ended six months later. Some of us are genuinely disgusted by the lifestyle you lead lady.
And by the way someone who “doesn’t need a man” doesn’t date 50 men in six years. When I was single I didn’t need a man so I didn’t date ANY.
Exactly! I met my husband in college. If she’s so convinced that her choices are fair then she needs to own them. She can’t put herself out there, with a picture attached, and expect to be embraced with cuddly hugs! And when she’s not she gets all huffy.
“And by the way someone who “doesn’t need a man” doesn’t date 50 men in six years. ”
EXCELLENT point and I completely agree.that is certainly a lot of guys for someone who doesnt mind being single and doesnt need a man.
Also, while I totally think that the men who register on these sites should be held to account(and preferably strung up by the balls), the women should not be blame free. They are, after all, an active and willing participant in a deception of (arguably) the worst kind. It hardly makes you Mother Theresa just because YOU arent the one who is married and doing the “cheating”.
Thats 1.44 men per month. Excessive, not really, if some were for dinner with no schtupping.
hear-here.
I, too, remember every man I’ve even been with. Every man I dated (including the disastrous date where Stephen – name not changed because the boring don’t need protection – knew how much time each red traffic light from my flat to the restaurant took) and every man I slept with (that’s actually really easy since it was my husband and one other man.) I don’t flirt with anyone because I am happily married. Before I was married, I wasn’t the type of woman comfortable with flirting.
While I agree wholeheartedly that it is ultimately the man who deserves most of the scorn, I cannot get behind a woman who actively persues married men. I just can’t.
Respect her? I don’t care how “charming” she may seem, I hold no respect for anyone (man OR woman) that cheats. She doesn’t wreck homes? Sure. But she partakes in the possible destruction of one and that is disgusting.
I wrote I had “more respect” for her, which is different since I had none before you know?
And that’s fine, but I still hold none for her.
Question for CB: In your email exchanges did you ask her why she does not seek out couples in open relationships? Because there are websites devoted to this lifestyle, where the wife permits and sometimes even vets the potential mistresses. Everybody wins. Including her, since she hates it when the man develops an attachment *cough* and theres minimal risk of that happening in these types of relationships.
She would always know that she is second best…but then of course I can see why that would be a problem for her. This isnt about no-strings love, its about competition, validation and the thrill of having dirty secrets. Please ask her this if you havent already.
Yep. I love her comment about how she doesnt wreck homes and when things get too serious she ends it. So, what, she is OK in participating in a deception as long as they are only cheating *a little bit*??
I think this woman is addicted to the thrill that comes with dating someone for the first time. If she dates married men she knows she will never have to get serious about someone and never subsequently deal with the highs and lows that come with it. instead she can be indulged with the flowers and the getting-to-know-you dinners forever. And if she were to ever develop strong feelings for one of the married men who then decides he no longer wants to see her, she can put her hurt feelings aside and tell herself that she is better off without him because he is a cheating pig anyway.
Seems like she is too afraid (gutless) to pursue a genuine relationship with someone who will love her for her, not for the thrill of the chase.
Well, I stand by my original opinion. Yes, it’s morally wrong, but my beef is still with the husbands of these poor women. They are the ones breaking a commitment to someone, not her.
emphatic +1
Ditto.
Exactly.
Yes exactly – she is not a home-wrecker – the men who are with her are.
Yup,, they’re the ones throwing the quarter before a football match, heads? doesn’t cheat…tails? game on….let’s go get me some p****sy. shhhh, don’t tell the wifey!
How could you say she isn’t a home wrecker? She is intentionally going for and dating married men!
Yes, the man is the biggest doosh in the sitaution and should get the brunt of the hate, but intentionally getting with a married man? That is just rude, classless and disrespectful. Of course she should be considered a b*tch and be hated on also!
It’s one thing if you don’t know he’s taken, but if you go after him because he is taken, then yes you are a homewrecker just as much as the guy, imho.
Yes.She’s not forcing these men so don’t strip them of their responsibilities.If you want to blame someone blame them.They’re the ones who’ll betray their partner,she’s a stranger.And would it be ok and more understandable if she was hot?Ugh.
I tried to edit my post and add this:
As a woman, if I were to ever get with a married man, I would feel horrible knowing what I was doing could potentially break up a family. Yes, the guy is mainly at fault, but I feel I would share some responsibility since I was knowingly taking up with a married man.
To knowingly get involved with someone that could have the consequences of tearing apart a family and you know it, whether he found you or not, makes you a homewrecker for knowingly getting involved.
The husbands are looking to cheat, I get it, but that doesn’t mean you have to be the one he cheats with. It’s a concious descision she makes knowing she could break up a family. She could easily go for a single guy, but doesn’t want to. I think she shares some responsibility, at least 20%
Well I’ve never commented before…but just a thought adding to what you’ve said. It’s sad how much personal responsibility/self control has gone out the window. I am by no means perfect, no one is, but I try to teach my daughter to respect herself, respect others, and always take responsibility for her actions. By that I mean her good behavior should never be contingent on others. You are 100% responsible for the choices you make, and they are a reflection of who you are. So some guy wants to step out on his family? Well shame on him. Truly….shame on him. But at the end of the day, those are HIS poor choices, and he will have to live with them. This woman also has a choice. She could choose to hold herself to a higher standard, she could choose to have some self respect, and she could choose to NOT take something that doesn’t belong to her, regardless of how freely it’s being offered. Mostly all I can think when I read this article is how sad that she’s fooled herself into thinking she’s somehow empowered by these choices. All I see is a very insecure woman who’s giving up a chance at something real, and instead wastes herself on men who clearly have no respect for her or their wives. I can only hope I raise my daughter to understand her value as a woman and person, so that behavior like that is never even an option in her mind…..sorry for the rant lol
AGREE! THESE HUSBANDS ARE SERIAL CHEATERS!!!
They have MORE than just one mistress.
We hit a nerve, didn’t we?
Sure does look that way, Eve.
I have tons of married male friends, what’s that got to do with wanting to date them?
Both she and the men are disgusting. All are culpable, she is seeking and so are they.
I don’t buy the all men are dogs thing either. I KNOW my husband and I are completely in love and wouldn’t do this. We respect each other, he respects and is committed to his family as am I.
Treat yourself like a Queen and you’ll get yourself a King, not a wandering dick cheater.
I fail to get mad about this, just grossed out by her attitudes and the attitudes of the men who cheat.
*sigh*
No matter how hard she tries to justify herself, what she is doing is incredibly selfish. And the men who are doing it with her are incredibly selfish as well.
It’s all about what she wants and doesn’t want, without a thought for anyone but herself. She needs to just ADMIT that. Infidelity breaks up families and hurts everyone, especially the children.
My message to her? Just STOP it. Find your moral compass for the love of God.
I don’t really support what she’s doing, but, trite though it is, she’s not the one who’s married…
Based on what she says and that website, her ‘dates’ are going to cheat regardless. She’s not luring them to stray. But, if you’ve ever been the wife or girlfriend who’s been cheated on you know it’s so much easier to blame the other woman.
i dont know CB> She can be a cool lady and all but imho, i just cant hang around somebody that i know could care less about the sanctity of something so important. Mindset precludes action. And she doesn’t have a trustworthy mindset. Her callousness about this situation likely bleeds into situations with friends, co-workers, and the like.
I hear you Naye and I wouldn’t be BFF with her or anything. I’m just saying she was really charming in email and while I’ll never see that side of it, she comes across better than you might think.
That’s probably one of the reasons she can get married men to ‘date’ her.
Hmm… I read her response, and I didn’t detect one iota of charm. She writes with clarity, but I saw it as a tedious and obvious exercise in double speak. She proclaims herself a mistress, then says she’s just friends with most of them. She seems to think she’s scandalous, but hints that it’s mostly flirtation and conversation. She says she’s choosy, but judging by the quantity, she takes all comers. She’s independent, but apparently can’t go without male validation. She scolds us for calling her a slag, but seems to say that she can only remember lovers from the past 6 years.
The whole thing sounds pathological. I think she’s very, very deeply insecure about her looks, and having men pay her a little attention helps her get by. I’d guess she picks married men because there’s no real risk of rejection as she’s not truly in the running. Plus, I keep hearing they aren’t that picky if it’s temporary.
This is an essay she wrote specifically for the site after I had emailed with her quite a bit, it’s not like the emails she sent.
Yeah, can we stop focusing on what she looks like? It’s not like la Brick who claimed to be the Goddess of Eternal Beauty despite being pretty plain, she asked for it. I think Karen’s a bit of a scumbag but I don’t hate on her because she’s not a model. Actually it fills me with hope that a plump middle-aged lady like herself is still getting some.
+1. It’s irrelevant. Besides, anyone that has a basic understanding of cheating knows that it’s almost NEVER about looks. Sometimes I think people chose to focus on that because it’s easier to shit on her appearance than form a thoughtful, articulate comment about her situation.
I totally agree with you TheOriginalKitten….well said! Her looks are completely irrelevant in all of this. To me she sounds very selfish and has no compassion for how her behavior is affecting others. I suspect that someday she will have to find out the hard way!
Interesting! What is her day job? That ‘essay’ looks, reads and quotes very professionally! We are even more convinced now it’s a PR job and have even less respect than before not that we had any to start with!!
What is the point of this woman and why does she think it’s her place to turn herself into some pathetic pseudo celebrity by writing ‘truths’? Is this supposed to be groundbreaking or revelatory?
I genuinely do not understand what this is all about…….
I really don’t have any respect for this woman and she doesn’t have any respect for herself and this has nothing to do with her looks. She lives in a bubble if she doesn’t think she is hurting anyone. I have read some studies that women who cheat with married men feel very lowly of men in general. Which leads me to the question, was she sexually abused as a child or young woman? Also, the type of man that has an affair or cheats on his wife is not necessarily the type of man that tells the truth and who wants to date a guy like that?
She does talks better than Brick. It seems for me that she has a problem, by finding a married man more attractive.
Is it the thrill that she’s looking? Because, you know what she’s doing is rather behind the wife’s back. But when it gets serious she runs away claiming she doesn’t want any responsibility of wrecking a marriage. So that means, she also has a problem in forming a serious relationship.
She just wants to have fun. I get it. It might be better if she could stick to a single guy but then she claimed married man is better since they’re “better trained”.
I think the reason is actually because she knows that married man can not asking a lot from her. She might not yet find a single guy who doesn’t expect her to change her personality, or appearances, or arguing with her or whatever. I don’t mean that real relationship is where you have to change for someone, but you know there are times when you argue with your partner because you have a different point of view, or you complained with your partner because he keeps on wearing that same old shirt every time going out on a date, or he thinks you’re wearing too much make up, or you think he’s too slow on taking a decision, etc.
Married man knows they can only date her, or sleep with her, they don’t bother with dealing her in a real relationship, because the relationship they have only in the surface without real emotional connection. No more than that. They do not look for their ideal kind of woman when they are in a “relationship” with her. They’re only looking for something to fill their boredom or whatever those married man said when they’re cheating.
Well said.
I agree that she is probably a sociopath. I wrote my masters thesis over sociopaths, and she does display many symptoms. She has an incredibly grandiose sense of self-importance, and she shows “phantom” emotions, which basically means she waits for other people to react to what she says/does so that she knows what’s acceptable. Just an FYI: about 4 percent of the world’s population are sociopaths.
Ooh that is very interesting, and could explain everything. The selfishness, the charm etc. And she would feel that she was above the ‘rules’ or norms of society and could do as she pleases and feel no remorse whatsoever.
Oh FFS! A sociopath? Hardly. You are mistaking “Shares my values” with “Has no values.”
Approve or not, human beings (especially men) have been having extra-marital relationships for a long, long time. There are cultures in which this is still not considered a big deal.
Modern Western culture has embraced serial monogamy, and so it is perfectly fine to abandon a family to get some sexual excitement as long as you officially abandon that family.
I don’t condone making false promises and lying, but I don’t see how having a mistress while continuing a commitment to a family unit is worse than dumping your family so that you can “honestly” sleep around.
This woman clearly takes the POV that a person’s responsibility to their family is more important than sexual fidelity. Most posters here won’t agree. She doesn’t seem to mind if people disagree. I respect that she stays true to her values, and refuses to keep seeing a man who wants more than what she is offering. If your husband is going to stray, she’s the type of person you want him with. She’ll send his butt back to you. You’d prefer the mistress who marries him, convinces him you’re a crazy bitch, and discourages him from seeing his kids? Your kids don’t.
Hi, Andrea!
I do not claim to be an expert in psychology by ANY means. I’m a grad student majoring in Special Education so I do read random stuff as I shuffle through endless papers and journals. 🙂
The term “sociopathy” is being weeded out these days, I think, and it’s been replaced by anti-social personality disorder? (And this nugget of knowledge is from Wikipedia, so….) But at a glance, this disorder has been broken down into multiple categories, with their own symptoms, and a person only needing to meet 3 out of, say, 7 of these symptoms to meet a certain category within this personality disorder.
I have to begin writing a 10-page research paper on a different emotional disorder, so I won’t bore you with my post, haha. Only, I will say that someone with anti-social personality disorder or “sociopathy” can be very charismatic with what appears to be sound or moral logic to their rationale. The difference is, at the end of the day, they’re rationalizing something inherently hurtful to/about others and are extremely selfish and self-centered beings. I could point out specific actions on her part to support this standpoint, but again, I’m not writing a paper about THIS! 😉
Hence, I can see where she might fall into this personality disorder; it doesn’t mean she’s overall evil. I, for one, don’t care how nice she plays it on the field. The point is, she’s playing with a ball that’s not even hers.
And on that corny analogy-note, I’m off to bury my head in books!
I have a Master’s in a mental health discipline, and diagnostics is one of my strengths. I don’t know Karen, and I won’t even try to “diagnose” her.
I have friends who have what could be called alternative relationship models. I’ve seen more than once how difficult it can be for people to find sexual partners who aren’t looking for that magic something more. The friends in question are not sociopaths. They have morals that they try to live by.
Karen Mahoney may or may not be genuine. This could all be a giant hoax. But if we take this at face value, the fact that has sex with married men and can justify it does not indicate sociopathy. She could be a sociopath (also known as antisocial personality disorder) but the evidence we have at the moment isn’t sufficient and its ridiculous to throw around serious terms like this.
I agree that someone who commits adultery does not necessarily have a personality disorder, this lady included. The concept of alternative relationship models also doesn’t strike me as anything unhealthy.
I’m assuming that we can agree that this lady is selfish to an extent. I think married people and single people can be friends, be opposite sexes, and be perfectly fine! But she could also have these normal friendships with men in real life, if that’s what she wanted. The fact that she would go so far as to be romantic or have sex with married men…that’s not cool.
I’m married, and I have guy-friends, some whom are straight and single. I DO go out and have dinner with them occasionally, just the two of us. I’ve gotten side-looks from others when I tell them, but I have no guilt. My husband knows who I’m with, and I do exactly what I tell him I’m doing. Eating dinner and home by 6. Never a question.
Now, let’s say I met a man I found attractive and awesome. I would NEVER go out to dinner with him alone, because even though I’d never actually do anything with him, I know internally that it’s simply not right. I’d be lying to my husband that he’s just a friend and it’s platonic, because of my underlying emotions. The difference in men I’d eat dinner alone with vs. those I wouldn’t is intent.
I know, I’m getting away from the whole “sociopathy” argument. I’ll tie it back in in that yes, I wouldn’t be brazen about diagnosing someone I’d never met.
But I will admit that I’m concerned with a lack of empathy from her on some levels. That does NOT mean she’s not empathetic somehow or she’s incapable of loving. However, I can understand why someone connects this to a disorder like anti-social personality disorder. There’s just something off, something way too calculated…
If it’s a giant hoax, then woohooooo, she’s a “celebrity” now. Congratulations. Is this something a well-adjusted adult would want to be known for though? I mean, really? Maybe if it comes out as a hoax, I’ll learn even more disorders to research! 😉
Not focusing on the cheating.. but her appearance.
I learned a lesson a long time about about looks and men. Women don’t get it. My family went in a group to see a game. I was about 19 at time. I saw this really good looking guy and he was with a girl/woman that I just found so unattractive. I made a comment on how she got that man. My uncle told me that it had nothing to do with her looks. He was a good looking man and probably had women after him all the time. He told me it was more about how that woman made him feel when he was with her.
Lesson learned. Women don’t get what men find attractive in women. And men sometimes don’t get what women find attractive in men.
She probably makes these men feel the way they want or expect a woman to make them feel.
Reminds me of this song:
If you wanna be happy
For the rest of your life,
Never make a pretty woman your wife,
So from my personal point of view,
Get an ugly girl to marry you.
A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You’ll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She’ll always give you peace of mind.
Don’t let your friends say
You have no taste,
Go ahead and marry anyway,
Though her face is ugly,
Her eyes don’t match,
Take it from me she’s a better catch….
In other words, it is believed that, an ugly woman will take more crap and her insecurity is directly related to her unattractiveness. So the ugly woman will do more to please her man in order to keep him. See also: Leanne Rimes.
Thanks for clarifying that at the end.
I kind of don’t know what to do with that whole thought train. I do anything to please my man because I love him. He does the same and I love it.
I do not want to be a “Brick” here, but I’ve been regarded as very beautiful my whole life. I probably have as many insecurities as any other woman. I’m glad my husband took a flyer on a “pretty” woman. I think I’ve made a good wife who wouldn’t hurt him for the whole world.
Do people really think that? I hate this whole thing, because it just puts our worth as women in our looks!
I hate that. We are smart, kind, strong, so much more than a face or body. Or do I just take that for granted? These are the kinds of things that get me really thinking about stuff.
Do our perceptions differ due to the way we look?
Mort, you opened a can of worms in my head and now I’m probably going to get blasted for posting this.
As in, do I even hit the submit button? Of course, I need my fellow CBers to let me know what’s up with that.
Naaaaaaaah, naaa-naaaa-naaaa,
Hey man,
I saw your wife the other day,
Sheeee’s uuuuuuuuuglyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Yeah, but she sure can cook baby.
———-
I love this song!
Bought the album, called best of the 50s and 60s, simply for the romance of it, the hot intimate slow-dancing to it, and so fell in love with this funny-funny song.
Makes me smile.
Sounds like a great record. If it’s got old R&B, and Blues I am down.
As the wife of a drummer/singer I am a sucker for a good groove. Hence my love for Prince, Al Greene, Marvin Freaking Gaye and the like.
@tiff, you’ll get no flaming from me and you’ve made some excellent points. I think someone down thread echoed these same sentiments (that I’m posting somewhat in jest). They said something about Courtney Love mentioning that homely girls “try harder.” I think some people do put stock in such an idea. Maybe they think a more attractive woman will have an easier time finding someone else, so they can’t take her for granted as much as they would a less than attractive woman. I happen to think personality and intellect are the most important qualities. They’re all we have left when our looks fade.
@maguita, glad someone else appreciates good music 😉
Yes, Mort-exactly.
I’ve been treated different by guys my whole life. It made me all the more determined to do well in school, to be accepted for my intellect, my personality than my looks.
I’d much rather have someone think I am a good and smart person than a pretty face. It does not last forever and that is why I am so grateful my husband and I are so close in every way. He thought I was gorgeous when I was fat, pregnant, you name it. Just as much as he did when I was 20 or now at 43.
Be smart and pick a good man, be witty, love life, be smart, be everything we women can be. Demand an amazing spouse-even when it gets tough, they will stand by you, not Ms. Marley. I don’t give a fig what you look like!
It goes both ways. I’ve heard the theory that attractive girls go for the less attractive men, because they’ll work harder to keep such a stellar girl who’s beautiful inside and out. 🙂
I still like my view on love better, even though it’s idealistic: Whoever you fall in love will be the most beautiful person in the world to you.
I married my best friend from high school, whom I swear I’d never date b/c at the time, I wasn’t attracted to him and he was like a brother to me. Figures.
And yes, he’s the EXCEPTION to the Friend rule. 😉
It’s really very simple on my end. When you marry, you take vows to be faithful to that person until the end. Period. No gray area.
You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear someone lay it out simply like that. I am tired of the “argument” over cheating. There shouldn’t be anything to argue about.
Thank you sooo much for this comment!!!
I have been recently thinking why people get married nowadays – as I only meet marriages who either cheat on one another or have basically separates lives while married (separate money, food etc…)
+1 Lizzi! Going on 24 years now, hoping to become that little couple in the Tommmygirl pic background someday.
A cute little old couple who still hold hands:)
@lizzi
You just pretty much summed up my entire view of marriage.
‘Nuff said, really 🙂
lizzi,
You are VERY NAIVE!
Best wishes from a mistress.
There’s plenty of single men to have casual relationships with. I have found some women don’t get a lot of attention from men. But married men, who can say all sorts of declarations of love and over-the-top talk because they’re safely married, desperate women cling to as a fix.
Desperate men prey on women. Both single and married women.
Married, sex starved men. Desperately seeking intimacy.
Well, sweetie, I’m completely positive that I have never been involved with a married man. I had to show this article to my husband (of 10 years) who laughed his ass off. Why oh why would you want to date scumbags who cheat? Because a real man doesn’t cheat, a real man loves and respects his wife and all women. But, of course, you aren’t a real woman, either. So I guess it’s a great fit. p.s., I’ve had 4 kids in 7 years and my size 0 body could kick your squishy, lumpy ass.
CB, I’m really interested in what aspects of her e-mails/communication style won you over? I read the article and she seems super desperate and self-absorbed to me. Were her e-mails nicer or charming? But maybe I’m just one of the jackasses she talks about…
YES! I’m sorry but …. did SHE just call US jackasses? Because we despise what she does and judge her for it? This woman has some huge brass ovaries and for me, this is just too much. I was willing to read this “rebuttal”, if you will, because I always give second chances but what I got was a lengthy, smug, and self-righteous attack on everyone on this blog who disagrees with her.
A huge proportion of us have gotten involved with unavailable people? Projecting much? This whole essay reads like she’s not trying to convince others as much as herself. That’s usually an admission of guilt.
And can I just say, the first paragraph alone had me fuming:
I’m sure it won’t silence the haters, but I never claimed to be a Jackass Whisperer. There will always be people quick to judge on looks alone, quick to jump to conclusions based on a headline, …
Nobody here judged her on looks alone. And we didn’t jump to any conclusions. We dislike her exactly for what she does and is. A proud mistress. And if a mistress brags about all the married men she dates …. well, honey, sh*tting on your looks is just icing on the cake. We got there by disliking your actions first.
I’m not usually this angry about something posted on a gossip blog but my god. She called us jackasses.
CB, I understand that she might have been able to charm some respect out of you, some people are simply good with words. But how does the way she talks about it change anything? When men are charming cheaters instead of slimy ones, does that mean we should respect them more for it?
Yup! that’s what I felt after the first paragraph! This is a knock out drag em down fight for justice. In this corner, weighing at_________(God only knows…) Katie (I do it cause you know you all our guilty of it too!) and in this corner, weighing in at a healthy weight, Celebitchy Posse! (Uh, don’t turn around and stereotype us B*tch as a bunch of liars)
oh god….i’m’ so tired of typing. I’m out I got work to do!!!!!!!!!!!
I concur. Opening your argument with an insult? (” This is my chance to set the record straight. I’m sure it won’t silence the haters, but I never claimed to be a Jackass Whisperer”) Hardly charming or engaging. Also, the term “haters” makes her sound like a dimwit.
Yeah. I get that calling her ugly or insulting her looks is jackass behavior, but I feel like a majority of people were reacting to her behavior. Forming an opinion about someone based on her actions doesn’t make me a jackass.
oh, i thought it was the other way around in the same vein as ‘horse’ whisperer meaning good with horses so in this context, good with jackasses AKA cheating men.
Hmmm, I don’t think that’s what she meant because if you look at the sentence, the jackasses are the haters. We’re the “haters” and apparently the jackasses. I guess she also wouldn’t call the men she dates jackasses?
…. But WHO even knows. This woman …. gawd.
@sunmoonstars: If you despise cheaters as you claim then why not make that the focus of your comment rather than focusing on her appearance?
Trivializing story to such extent in order to justify wrongful act is just as bad as judging, so I’m outta here…
This only confirmed my negative opinion of her. She *really* doesn’t get it.
And I actually think it’s fine to insult her looks. If a woman is presented as a scientist or teacher or artist (for example), then attractiveness should be irrelevant. But if someone chooses to introduce themselves to the world based only on their dating habits and sex life, then they invite comments about their appearance. We didn’t hunt this woman down and expose her: She said, “Hi! Look at me! I’m better than you and might be dating your husband!” Therefore, I think that all the kindness gloves are off.
Having said that, her moral bankruptcy is a way bigger flaw than her obesity, so let’s focus on that!
You’re very good at justifying yourself, I suppose all of the wives of these men you keep screwing should be really grateful to you right? Because infidelity always helps out when a marriage is in trouble. I don’t give a damn what you look like, but it’s delusional to think that sex with someone else’s husband is harmless. Not that I think any of this will register with you, but you’re enjoying the fruits of others labor and people do get hurt whether you believe that to be true or not.
So she’s not a ho, she’s a dicriminating ho. Well that clears it up for me. My God the depth of her denial is staggering. Wow
I will agree that this is pretty crazy to read, and that many are outraged…
Buuuut maybe it’s just where I am as an adult woman right now. I’m single. I’ve never married. And I like it that way. I kind of respect her candidness and her views. I think I would really enjoy that situation–whether the guy was married or not. Maybe that makes me a bad person, or selfish. But I think I’m okay with that!
Bravo! I agree!
Sure, when I was single, I smiled at and even casually flirted with a married man or two. But once I found out he was married I swiftly placed him in the FRIENDS ONLY category. Sheesh! Big difference.
She looks british. Isn’t that weird? Like i can tell she’s british just by looking at her.
Oh but also, boo, shame on you and stuff.
and sidenote Karen, if you’re reading, the black ring of eyeliner, with the really obvious white eyeliner on the bottom is not very flattering. not a lot of people can pull off black liner on the bottom like that.
Re: she looks British. Hahaha, I get what you mean.
Is it relevant that she is British?
Cheating men cheat regardless of ethnicity .
still not convinced this is a real (desperate, pathetic, fame-whore wannabe) person or marketing.
never made a comment on her appearance or actions. don’t care what she looks like. she is damaged mentally. if and when she ever finds a man she wants to spend her life with, she’ll have no problem with him having +/-50 lady friends that maybe he f*cks or not?
she won’t ever be in love or have a real, lasting relationship. abandonment issues. can’t be hurt if you don’t play.
All I see is a very desperate and pathetic woman. I think she’s going to die a very lonely woman and I highly doubt she has many true friends. I dont think I could even be friends with someone with her “morals” or lack of.
Im a firm believer in Karma and maybe she hasnt met a man yet that she sees herself with but just wait until she does and another “serial mistress” comes in and is her mates “play date” with no regard to her feelings at all.
PLEASE DON’T GIVE HER A PLATFORM ANYMORE! Why is she on here? She is not even a celebrity, she is a pathetic old woman, who did nothing other than w**** around.
Thank You! Why are we still on this woman (is it because she reached out and wrote and “exclusive” *snort* post just for the peeps here?)
Read her response to the last post and all I can conclude is that this is a sad woman who is trying to justify her actions. Now, you 2 can be email buddies all you want but please let this be the last post about this “serial mistress.” I come here for celebrities not eye roll inducing stories about people looking for their 15 minutes.
Birdie,
It’s not about HER.
Interesting post. This lady clearly thrives on having relationships with married men so it makes sense for her not to want the man’s marriage to collapse. It has nothing to do with sympathy for the wife or trying to justify her actions, as has been suggested. She does not seem particularly conflicted to me.
Shame of the shame… as my 4 year old likes to say when someones does something bad.
2 questions:
1.) What does that mean?
2.) Can I steal it?
🙂
If she thinks her desire to not up the commitment and to continue to lead her life as a single woman is so natural, how can she not assume that there are male counterparts with the same view. While I’m sure she’s witty and intelligent, I find it hard to believe that even the most dedicated single men drop to their knees ring in hand after a few dates with her. Clearly, there are ways to satisfy her needs that don’t involve activities that could break other women’s hearts. And while, yes, clearly the men are the ones choosing to violate their marriage vows, she, as a willing participant, is in no way innocent.
ms. marley says she doesn’t need a man, yet spends an inordinate amount of time procuring them. she then goes on to say she is very choosy yet finds men through a site for married men who want to cheat, not exactly the place i would go to look for a man of integrity. i can say i have never knowingly kissed/slept with a married man, and at 42 i can also recall each of my lovers, as there have been only ten. and yes, i have the numbers of married men in my phone; you see, in my word it is possible to be friends with both the wife and the husband. going out to a movie with a married male friend is a world away from sleeping with him; maybe of you stopped focusing on lying and sneaking around you would discover that men can actually be friends, not just some wallet that buys you lingerie, screws you, and then goes back to his wife.
the most telling thing for me is the statement about how she gets what she needs and the men get an ego boost – unlike ms. marley, i am more than an “ego boost” for some married, loser having a midlife crisis. i deserve a caring, committed, wonderful partner and luckily i found him; i would never settle for less, and nobody else should, either. i wonder why ms. marley doesn’t want more for herself than just being an extracurricular plaything for a bunch of douchebags?
just to be clear: there is nothing wrong with being alone, but ms. marley is not alone. i also don’t think there is anything wrong with sleeping around, but when you do it with married men it becomes an issue becuase you are involving an unwitting participant. just because you don’t see these wives being hurt it doesn’t mean you aren’t helping to cause that hurt; you are.
ask yourself: what if the husband of your best friend or your sister turned up on that site? would you still consider it harmless if the woman getting hurt were a woman you care for?
you need to get a new hobby, lady.
You know what gets me about people who come in these types of forums shaking a finger at those of us who clown on looks? Is not even so much that I think they do it to on some level and just pick and choose, but that you expect tactfulness given the subject matter…STFU!!
As for her, you wanted this public platform, you don’t get to choose how we receive you and lecturing us on how we’re dragging you isn’t going to help, it’s falling on deaf ears…give it up!!
So let me get this straight, she wrote again so she could call us all Jackasses? This is some classy lady. I stand by my original remark, she can’t keep a man of her own so she feels justified in being with somebody else’s.
I think, she is one step, from these men exchanging money for her services.
She lost me completely at this point:
‘And as I preferred my single life, and every single man I had dated wanted something serious too soon, the married man fitted into what I was looking for at the time.’
Bullshit. BUUUUUUUUUULLSHIT. Unless the dating game is significantly different once the players are past 45 years old, it is in NO way difficult to find a single man who just wants something casual. In my experience, most of the guys on dating sites just want to date around and will run for the hills if you even dare whisper the word ‘commitment’.
She is kidding herself if she thinks what she is doing is no big deal and downright delusional to believe her affairs can ever be therapeutic for these men’s marriages. It does not matter if the wives never find out. It does not matter if she ends it if things starts to get serious. She is an active, knowing and willing participant in someone’s betrayal.
She claims that she has no intention of tempting them away permanently; to that I say SO WHAT? It certainly doesn’t get her off the hook as having a hand in crumbling the foundation of a marriage IS home wrecking, plain and simple.
She is a pathetic woman who, for whatever reason, doesn’t think enough of herself to be in a real relationship. And I am not even saying her end goal should be permanence and/or marriage. But there is a vast difference in emotional investment between being someone’s side piece and having to put the work into an honest relationship. Because that is what relationships are, whether they are casual or serious: WORK. You get out of them what you put into them.
It is starkly apparent that she wishes to shield herself from having to open up to a man and has found that dating married men is the best way to create that emotional distance. SAD.
We are in *complete* agreement. 🙂
I could give a damn about what she looks like. She is partly responsible( married man the the other half) of causing pain, destroying lives and families. That is what I’m so angry about. She has no right, sure a man is going to cheat, but if you say no, you can at least say I did the right thing. Has she ever once think, ” I feel so sorry for the family.” I hope she can sleep at night, because I wouldn’t
THIS. Appearance shouldn’t play a part in this. Insulting her with superficial remarks will just make her think she’s the justified party. Removing that aspect from it, I don’t understand why some people will defend doing something so shameful. I like how she’s all CAST THE FIRST STONE BIBLE TALK BITCHES (of course thinking that the Bible is a useful source for ethics is a joke in itself) yet she doesn’t realize that unethical or cruel behavior is something you shouldn’t be judged for if you chose to FIX it and learn from it, not because you want to defend it and call it an alternative lifestyle.
She hurts people, she knows it, and she doesn’t care. That’s what the heart of the matter is. She KNOWS it hurts marriages and it hurts women. What the hell happened to women watching out for each other??
Right on! What ever happen to our sisterhood? As women I feel that we should have each others backs. She knows they aren’t going to leave their wives, they never do. So what she is is a play thing. In the mind of these men she is a means to an end. It’s cheap and tacky. I’m sure she is very charming, and that’s how it works. We need to start building each other up, instead of tearing each other down.
http://m.jezebel.com/5906038/saturday-night-social-boom-i-got-your-boyfriend
^This is all I think of when I read this woman’s rants.
Karen is ugly on the inside. My four year old already knows this: just because you see other people doing it, doesn’t make it right for you to be doing it.
The level of hostility in these comments disappoints me, but doesn’t surprise me.
I know most commenters here are just looking to attack everything this woman says, but if any of you have ever dated online, you’re being willfully oblivious if you say you know you’ve never dated someone who wasn’t already attached in some way. I know that happened to me at least once, and I was SO pissed when I realized what was happening. There are men who cheat and find the thrill of putting one over on a single woman to be part of the thrill for them.
I do think that cheating is wrong, and cheating is when any person goes outside of their accepted relationship parameters. Yes, believe it or not, there are married people who allow external sexual relationships, but most people here don’t seem to acknowledge that polygamy exists and some couples are happier that way – to each their own. It’s not for me, but I have friends who make that work, and I don’t judge them based on my own beliefs. This is just an observation in response to that blanket statement about how people who don’t acknowledge the sanctity of marriage are scum, assuming that all marriages are monogamous.
But of course, this woman is dealing with men who are going outside their monogamous relationship without their wife’s consent. The level of hostility toward her says a lot about the insecurities of the commenters. I felt like this (angry toward women who cheat with married men) when I was married to someone I worried might be capable of cheating. That was more about how I felt about the relationship. But now, I feel much more hostility toward the men who are doing the cheating. Yes, the men are cheating on their wives – they’re the ones who made the promise and are breaking it. Technically, she’s an adulterer, but she is not cheating – that’s all on the man. Yes, it might be splitting hairs, but it’s true. It’s unfair to the woman who doesn’t consent to the arrangement, and that’s where my issue lies. But the person who’s denying the wife consent is the husband.
I’m getting sick of reading all these nasty comments about her appearance because it reminds me of high school all over again. It’s people trying to reassure themselves and smooth over anxieties by attacking what’s making them anxious. I know there are going to be a lot of “oh, I’m not anxious about that cow, she looks like a troll” but think for a minute – why all the vitriol? I’m not justifying her behavior, but I’m saying look at what’s causing you so much distress. It’s a good opportunity for reflection on your relationship, and how secure you feel in it. I have a much bigger problem with women who throw themselves at married men in public, who look at me and think “why is an ugly/plain woman like her with a guy like that” and somehow think that their looks justify trying to take my partner away.
I also have an issue with the person who commented about the “unattractive” woman with the “attractive” man. Maybe some women are plain by your view but attractive to a certain man, or they like a certain kind of look. My husband loves me because he thinks I am beautiful inside and out – I try not to judge, I’m kind to children and animals, I try to do the right thing. By the standards of most people here, I’m nothing to look at – I haven’t worn makeup in years, and have three pairs of heels that I hardly ever wear. But I take care of myself and wake up every day with a smile on my face.
I realize this has devolved into a defense of not looking “skinny and pretty” because that’s my own personal weak spot. Most of the comments here seem to have devolved into ripping this woman for her “lack of morals” or her “hideous” looks. I personally wouldn’t do what she does, but it works for her, and she’s living according to her standards (not trying to “steal” the married men she “cheats” with), which obviously don’t agree with most of yours.
As always, there’s little to no commenting about the men who cheat. They’re the cheaters, and they suck. *They* have no morals and are deceitful and disrespectful to their partners. But the level of hatred for this woman is depressing. This would be a good opportunity for people to do some introspection on where their hostility comes from and what in their own life makes them feel so angry toward someone they don’t even know.
As for the sociopath diagnosis, I certainly hope you aren’t a mental health professional. There’s nothing grandiose in her comments (see Samantha Brick’s writing for that), and she knows exactly what emotions she feels for her situation. Just because her emotions don’t match yours doesn’t mean she has a lack of emotions.
People should save the vitriol for the scumbag men cheating on their spouses. This woman’s reasons for choosing cheating men as sexual partners are valid for her own needs (yes, there are someone who don’t need a man to complete them and aren’t just paying lip service to the idea) and she likes her life the way it is. There will never be a shortage of married men willing to cheat with someone like her.
Here’s an idea – every married or attached woman making these nasty comments should go have an honest conversation with their partner about this woman and see what happens. You might be surprised (and pleased). If you would never have a conversation with your partner about something like this, that might be part of your problem.
I know, tl;dr. Whatever.
If a lying, cheating scumbag of a man was crowing about his prowess of regularly and knowingly poaching outside of his marriage bed, you can be sure the jerk would be soundly condemned by readers here. There’s no double standard between the sex of the cheater; we are only attacking the person who is putting themselves out there – a remorseless individual pursuing their own ‘needs’, uncaring of the damage and hurt she leaves in her wake.
“The level of hostility toward her says a lot about the insecurities of the commenters. I felt like this (angry toward women who cheat with married men) when I was married to someone I worried might be capable of cheating.”
Your comment is long, and there are several things I could address. However, I’d just like to touch on the particular point above. Just as you feel certain commenters are projecting, I see you doing a lot of this yourself. MY insecurities have nothing to do with my husband. They stem from having a cheating father who broke my mother’s heart, chose to spend time with his mistresses (rather than his own child) and treat one of her sons better than his own (lavishing him with clothes, computers, smart phones, drug money and a home to live in rent free. Meanwhile, I was expected to pay my own rent at the age of 18, get a job and buy my own clothes). My mom was also making payments on a mysterious personal loan (which we later found out was hush money to prevent his main mistress from telling my mom about her relationship with my father). This went on for 13 years, and absolutely destroyed my mother and gave me some serious trust issues. Just because her reasoning for choosing married men is “valid for her own needs” doesn’t make it okay. She is contributing to the downfall of a family. She made this about HER, and IF an adulterous man is stupid enough to publicize his reasons for cheating, I’ll be just as quick to dump on him. To be clear, I hold my father responsible for destroying our home, but his long term mistress did a lot of horrible shit that complicated our lives further. She is just as vile a human being as my father.
We have too much in common. Sigh. My father cheated serially until about 8 years ago. The last mistress was a good friend of my Mom’s, myself, my kids were friends with her kids.
It destroyed our family for years. That’s when my gorgeous Mom decided to have all the plastic surgery.
I blame my father AND the twat that ruined TWO families. Her with small kids. They would show up to parties at my parent’s house, insinuating her family into our lives. Her poor husband.
My Dad finally hung it up when we all made it clear he was going to lose everything and everyone. He loves my Mom so much, I can’t imagine what he was doing it all for in the first place. Took about 4 years for her forgive him.
@tiff, I’m verry sorry your father put your family through that. If your ever in NJ I’ll take YOU out for a drink 😉
We also gave my father the “it’s us or them ultimatum” (after my dad put the son of the mistress up in my parents rental home rent-free and without her consent. The kid (now 20) trashed the house and cost them $5,000 in damages. He was also arrested for dealing out of their property and broke into the home 3 times after my dad told him to leave). Until a year ago, the mistress and her jailbird son were still calling for money and favors. I would frequently ask them to stop calling but nothing mattered to them except the money they were receiving, which MOSTLY came from my mom’s hard work (since my dad retired at 40 to become a politician-for which he received pittance). After trying to politely reason with them, I realized that they would have been happy to see my mom penniless (if it meant them getting paid) and that the mistress definitely took pleasure in our discomfort.
Women who would build a life upon the back of another are NOT good people, no matter how you slice it. They are selfish, insecure trash (just like the men they’re cheating with).
I’ll be in NYC in the spring! Close enough??? C’mon, I’ll get you into the show. After our drinks:)
We can talk pathology and gross medical/dead stuff:)
You know, like Blohan!
Great post. It will go down like a lead balloon. Still was a great post!
They are right, though – I missed the sore point for a lot of people – being the children of a dirtbag who left his responsibilities behind for a newer model.
But even in those cases, I still think they’re blaming the wrong person. This woman goes out of her way *not* to be the excuse for someone to break up their family. That’s how it will always be, though.
As for the lead balloon, I’m the thread-killer, probably for just this reason. 🙂
@tiff, it’s a deal! NYC is about 2 1/2 hours from me, but I’ll get a room and bring my mom to watch the kids back at the room so we can go out! Keep me posted. I’ll bring you a mortuary related gag gift I think you’ll appreciate 😉
@my .02, I appreciate the sensitivity of your follow up. My father’s mistress wasn’t interested in keeping him either, just sucking him dry. As far as she was concerned, we were just collateral damage. This woman’s proclamations don’t sound entirely authentic. She is peppering the truth with lies that make her appear to be more sensitive (when, in fact, she is very much insensitive and out for herself). She is, at least, partially responsible for ending one marriage (as she said, she had to end it with one man who left his wife for her). As I said up thread,the man is to blame for destroying his home, but she should accept responsibility for being an amoral accessory to home wrecking.
Wow.
This woman is a parasite at best and karma is a bitch.
I’m surprised she hasn’t invoked Godwin’s Law as a defense for her petty actions. Cause her excuse of ‘who hasn’t flirted with a married person’ is just dumb. And does she really think that her actions with these married men are adding something useful or positive for society? These men are desperate and selfish. If Ms. Marley wasn’t there to stroke their ego, they’d just find someone else to do it. You’re a fungible commodity Ms. Marley. Duh!
Also as far as getting ‘hated on’ for her actions, why would any self-respecting individual go to the press with this story? Ms. Marley may not be a ‘whore’ in the traditional sense, but she’s certainly coming across as a fame whore. Surely Ms. Marley didn’t actually expect readers to sympathize with her, right?
My heart goes out to all the wives who are married to the tools that consort with this kind of person. Emotional affairs are total mind-f***s to navigate and I wouldn’t wish one on my worst enemy.
Yes, this is an awful thing to do but she’s right that abstaining from her lifestyle wouldn’t stop these men from cheating. My best friend just found her boyfriend’s profile and very graphic messages on a dating website, and it makes me wonder why guys stay in relationships when they clearly aren’t satisfied.
I don’t understand her justification for doing this, though–does she really think a man who serially cheats on his wife is a better catch than a 40 year old bachelor? It honestly sounds like she’s trying to justify the thrill she gets from being “the other woman”, from being able to “steal” a man from his wife. I think this whole fetish is a product of her own insecurity.
“It honestly sounds like she’s trying to justify the thrill she gets from being “the other woman”, from being able to “steal” a man from his wife. I think this whole fetish is a product of her own insecurity.”
Dead on.
she is an attention whore, she is getting on my nerves now–stop giving her any play CB…we simply don’t care nor agree w/her skanky lifestyle.
and NO I have never dated or sexed a married man and I never will.
while it is up to the husband to honor his wife, it takes too to tango–if she were NOT so desperate for someone else’s leftovers, she would not settle and pretend married men are “better for her”.
she nds to apply some of her energy into living better and NOT bragging about tasting someone else’s sloppy seconds. its NOT cute, its cheap.
pls beleive everything you do comes back to you.
ME, I do not like to share, there is no way–I’d be ok being 3rd or 4th.
self esteem issues.
who the heck wakes up and thinks “wow, I want me a married man, yummmm”
a hooker for the money, and she clearly is not one.
lookimg like someone’s grand mum.
i gotta go home to read all this(not at work!), but i THANK YOU for the forum & discourse here – i love it! this topic matters a great deal to me, as i can/will never understand this behavior in women. and i would NEVER knowingly do it to another woman, nor have i. ever. i, in fact, do/still believe that it’s an act of desperation only. AND-and-AND… Courtney Love was vilified for outting a long-known “secret” among boys which is that the homely girls DO try harder. I’ve heard that from dude’s long before Courtney said it, and folks freaked out calling her crazy, etc. etc.. Sorry y’all, but its a true thing. Now why she bothered to bring it up in the first place is another story.
I find her (and the married men who cheat with her), morally repulsive. She can try to justify it however she likes, but it doesn’t make it any more right. No matter what she looked like, I’d feel the same way about it. To knowingly have sex with someone that you KNOW is married or in a committed relationship is wrong, hurtful to the unsuspecting wife/girlfriend and doesn’t help any of their relationships in any way.
The fact that she IS trying to justify it, just reinforces the fact that she knows that what she’s doing is wrong. Of course if these men didn’t seek her and her ilk out, it wouldn’t happen in the first place. I’m a big believer that if you’re not happy in your relationship, you fix it or you leave it. But you absolutely do NOT cheat.
An intimate relationship, whether it’s physical or emotional, is cheating. Period. She’s a “whore” in every sense of the word. I have zero respect for people like her and the men who disrespect their relationships to form a secondary relationship before exiting their primary relationship.
She’s a true whore. A literal whore – i.e., an actual call girl – is far more innocuous and honest. She isn’t even in it for financial gain… she just gets off an bedding…oh, I’m sorry, dear, did I say bedding? I meant BEDDING other women’s men.
I actually think I have more respect for an actual whore. I understand that many “whores” are simply poor, uneducated, unskilled women trying to support themselves, and maybe a family, in the most efficient way possible. This trick claims to have her own money and just does this for fun.
It’s remarkable how much women treat other women like crap. Sure, these men are going to cheat anyway but who said this cow has to step forward and be the one they do it with? Yes, the husband is, by far, the worse of the two but it doesn’t excuse her from being a pig. She didn’t take vows-that much is true but sh*tting all over other women’s marriages still makes her a first class tramp.
How DARE you Celebitchy regard this… THING as charming!
There is NOTHING justifiable about this woman! Just a sleeeze who try to make money from someone’s misery.
Guess what – because of this story I’ll not set a click on your website ever again!
Sayonara!
They are tolerating her to boost hits. But no shame in their game! Why do you think networks do 20/20-type specials with serial killers? Reporters and bloggers alike gotta eat, man!
Partially to boost hits but also because Celebitchy is not like other celeb blogs. This is NOT the first non-celeb post, C/B has covered Samatha Bricks, the tanning mom and others. C/B often choses topical content to post about to generate comments, yes, but also because it’s more interesting. I’ll take a post abot this lady over a Kardashian post any day of the week 🙂
I think her looks are irrelevant. I’d rather talk to the interesting plain looking guy in the corner than the great looking bore in the center of the room.
While I can’t condone that she dates only married men and especially because they are married, I don’t look at what she does as a pure pursuit of them.
She claims to date men that are already registered on the site as married but looking for a side venture. Whether that’s a drink and conversation or a sexual encounter that’s on the dude. He’s the one putting himself out there. It’s on him, not her. Again, not happy with her input into muddying marital waters but obviously he’s going to do it regardless and it’s the site creators that are facilitating this. let’s start with 1 and 2 before getting to 3.
Why is this a story for Celebitchy (the site)? She’s not a celebrity (until now). ???
I do not advocate people- whether male or female- doing things that disrespect the agreements of their relationships. Cheating breaks trust and makes partners feel unsafe- not cool. However, I am fortunate to know many people who live non traditional lifestyles- open relationships, poly amory etc. Something I appreciate about these relationships is that it is each person’s responsibility to say what they need and desire from the relationship and to communicate that to their partner. It’s also the responsibility of each partner to say “I cannot stick to this agreement.” And then for folks to own their feelings and work things out or keep it pushing.
I think this woman makes a lot of women uncomfortable because she offers something that is clearly attractiveto many men who have been in marriages (with all of the associated responsibilities)- she offers fun and a good time and ZERO burden. That’s scary especially for women who are having to parent their children AND their husbands- and many are.
As it relates to this woman s average looks- what you get when you re in someone s company often has little to do with their appearance- we all know that. Dogging her looks is a cheap shot. One of the most physically unattractive women I ever knew was so alluring and engaging that men LOVED her. According to this woman- she’s HAPPY with her life. That makes a huge difference. Men want to know that they can make a woman happy and all too often, with their wives, they feel that they can’t.
Finally, men in higher socio-economic brackets tend to seek more kink in their lives- they buy more freak porn and do more that falls into a moral grey area. A man who has £134 per month to spend on a dating site is likely a man with a certain degree of income- not wealthy but at least comfortable enough to pay over £1,000 a year (and then also go on dates) without his wife asking questions about where that money went.
Cheating is WRONG! PERIOD!!!
Honesty is NOT!
Sorry if someone has already said this, but I think the whole ‘the married man is the real villain’ argument is kind of ridiculous. It’s splitting hairs unnecessarily. If you’re cheating on your spouse, you are awful. If you are knowingly engaging in an affair, emotional or physical, with a married person, you are awful. Degrees of awfulness is a silly game to play.
For what it’a worth, I hooked up with an ex once even though I knew he had a girlfriend at the time. It was a stupid power play by me, and I’ll always look at that as a major mistake. Definitely not with pride. And I DEFINITELY wouldn’t write a treatise on the merits of acting like that.
Very well said and kudos for owning up to your mistake.
I read but never comment. This woman’s problem is envy. Envy of what other women have. Her target is avenging those women who have what she hasn’t been able to secure for herself. She holds the same mentality of gay men who pursue straight, married men.
In this link (long, sorry) scroll down to page 103 and it explains how envy turns the histrionic individual into a homewrecker. It is her way at getting back at truly attractive women who took too big a slice of the pie from life. She’s not too hard to figure out.
http://books.google.com/books?id=dJ8yL5NJ28MC&pg=PA95&lpg=PA95&dq=schizotypal+gay+men&source=bl&ots=sCQ8UAaJl1&sig=RmeA-KDIf41iek_hQ7jkfxIG1is&hl=en&sa=X&ei=qr7YT9XyHJSBhQeu26nPAw&ved=0CFIQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=schizotypal%20gay%20men&f=false
The problem is not the woman. It’s the man.
OK, I have been commenting like nuts on this story, I don’t know why… but…
Let’s pause for a second.
I should have saved the URL, but there was a post on this, where a woman posted, (not verbatim) “There was a time I knew Karen as a friend, and I can tell you with absolute certainty, the only company she keeps is with her cat. This is all a load of crap. She hasn’t been out with a man in years.”
In a long comment thread, it was the only thing that Karen replied to personally. Now, it could be that she legitimately wanted to comment that she didn’t know this woman. But… me thinks the lady doth protest too much.
I have older female coworkers…divorcees… who are stunning. Like, slender, put-together, Susan Sarandon/Jane Fonda types. They have done all the dating websites and can barely find one date worth going on in a year’s time. Now, yes, these aren’t the sleazy Ashley Madison type sites, but still…
I have a theory. Karen has been on one or two of these dates, MAYBE. She saw the money to be made in sex blogs (or the website payed her directly), and decided to inflate her number to get attention. Because think about it: How could you disprove this? It’s assumed that none of the married men are ever going to come forward.
I think this is a hoax. I’m not even sure that she has been on even one of these dates. Wouldn’t someone have come forward with a screenshot of her profile by now?
A woman who was really doing this wouldn’t be so out about it. Why do you think Belle Du Jour stayed anonymous until the bitter end? If Karen were REALLY the woman she said she was… would she really be so open about it? Risk outing all of her lovers?
HOAX.
Actually, you’ve nailed it. My subconscious sent up a red flag and told me this is just one of those British “journalism” ploys. You can NEVER trust anything that comes from UK gossip sites.
Yeah, I don’t want to be xenophobic… but these British tabloids sort of make Star Magazine look like Vanity Fair. I mean, the News of the World scandal alone… Lord.
Hmmm. Interesting stuff. I too have been posting on this like crazy. Hit a bit close to home for me (as you can see up thread). Anywho, it’s incredible that someone would publish something so worthy of ire (true or false).
*CB: this isn’t spam, sorry if we aren’t allowed to post links*
I think you’re right. She has five blogs when the content seems like it should be on two at most (she has one exclusively for ‘racy’ jokes), almost no comments, and they all contain a lot of advertising.
A list of her blog links is here:
http://www.blogger.com/profile/01967838365882442725
She also has a VERY NSFW blog that she appears to claim are tales of her time with “her men”, but they read like amateur written-porn. If they are true tales they’re not putting her in the ladylike, demure light she’s trying for in her essays:
eroticmistress.blogspot.co.uk/
Thank you for this, she probably is a dowdy hoax.
“how many women can honestlysay they have never dated/kissed/flirted with another person’s spouse or partner?”
I can. I honestly can. First off,I’m a goof/nerd when it comes to flirting (unless I’m actually in a relationship where I feel more confident) and if I see a ring on a man’s finger, it’s basically a turn off. Like “Yes, wow this man is extremely attractive and great personality but it won’t go anywhere so why bother? on to the next one”
And for looks? I’m a 40 yr old woman who gets carded still and people think i’m in my late 20s/early 30s (fit, stylish, etc.) It ain’t all about looks that’s for sure but I can say I’m an attractive, healthy, normal looking woman.
When I encounter married men, it’s not just the ring on the finger, the ‘taken’ aspect of it, I know they have a wife so again, what’s the point of the pursuit?
Mostly, I put myself in the shoes of the wife. How would I FEEL if my husband was cheating on me? Pretty horrible, so again, I don’t bother. Even if i know the circumstances (they never have sex, she’s cheated on them, wah wah wah)
and mostly, I’ve worked in high finance (venture capital, private equity) in SF and Silicon Valley. I worked with a LOT of extremely HOT, young, uber rich/uber smart, uber successful men (one of them modeled for JCrew, and had both a Harvard MBA and law degree before age 30). Every single woman swooned over him. He was nice, smart and ethically sound (rare in Silicon Valley high stakes) BUT, I knew his then girlfriend/now wife, and if I were in HER shoes (really lovely shoes FYI) I would be crushed.
I’ve worked with men who have cheated on their 8 1/2 mths pregnant wives, fiancee’s and I even had one recently married man hit on me (his engagement and wedding website was still on the Internet)AND his new wife worked on the floor above me!! at the SAME company!! 3 mths as a newlywed and he’s trying to hit it…to me? that is a TURN OFF
So, no, I don’t do the flirting dance with married men because I have empathy (whether I know their wives or not) for their respective wives and it would hurt me if my husband was cheating on me, therefore, I do not fratenize with married men.
There ya go.
trey, daniel, richard, will, scott, jon, john, ravi, michael, michael, mike, robert, aaron, elliot – – –
those are all the lovers i’ve ever had, from one night stands to relationship.
There ya go, again.
“Yes, I know sleeping with married men is shocking, but I have never and will never wreck any homes. If anything gets serious, I end it”
If anything gets serious? that’s generous of you. Again, if I were the cheated wife, even if it happened ONCE in an elevator from the ground floor to the 15th fl and DONE. NEVER AGAIN. I would be hurt. Affair for 5 minutes or 5 years, if I were married (and yes, I am engaged so I do kinda have a right to have an opinion) I would be hurt.
There ya go…again
@Horizante: We think alike. I’ve just posted a question for Celebitchy below wondering if she was asked why she had not joined a polyamorous dating site. A site where she knew that the wife was aware and approving of the arrangement. In some of those relationships the wife even befriends the mistress. That would be cuddly solution to her “home-wrecking” (as she so quaintly puts it) dilemma. Right?
We know the answer to the question of course. She would never sign-up to that. She gets off on the deception and the competition. She likes that when a married man meets her, he has made the judgement that she is worth the deception to his wife. It validates her, the poor child.
Relationships are complicated. I find her perspective refreshing, even if I don’t morally condone her lifestyle.
I find it very hard to believe that she cannot find one SINGLE man who is willing to have a “no strings attached” friendship. I could find 10 just by going to my Facebook page.
No matter how she spins this, she is wrong. Her looks don’t matter to me and the number of men she’s slept with doesn’t matter to me either. It’s her morals. If you do something that could viciously hurt another human being, then you are a sucky person for it. Plain and simple. Oh and the married men are scumbags too.
Yeah what she does is wrong but the husbands are just as guilty too. Both parties are hurting people, not just the wives but their kids as well,and they know it. That is what makes me sick about it.
“I never claimed to be a Jackass Whisperer.” No, she’s no Jackass Whisperer. She’s just a jackass.
I haven’t read the other posts yet. Just had to comment first. She is trying to defend something that is indefensible. And the men who are members of that site are indefensible as well. I have never slept with a married man. Don’t think I’ve flirted with one either (unless I didn’t know he was married). My father had an affair and it devastated me – I was 13 years old. Don’t forget the children in these marriages – they matter too. I am a beautiful woman of 38 years old – I have had around 30 lovers and remember each and every one. I have never destroyed a family. I have my own family now and women like this need to be put out of commission.
Amen.
She and Travolta should have babies; she looks just like him in drag.
BLECH.
More milking, more “look at meeeee”, more time and energy on a woman who deserves to be tossed in the same trash heap as Samantha Brick. These issues get under my skin and I may feel inclined to comment my brains out but, the fact is, they simply don’t deserve to be put in the spotlight. Famewhores looking for fame, period.
EXACTLY what I said in my post.
women that do these kind of things are not bragging, they are low key and trying not to be found out.
they are not grinning in a pink sweater.
she is crazy!
Glad to know I’m not alone in my sentiments tru tru. I think she’s all kinds of screwy in her thinking and should be talking to a shrink, not newspapers and gossip sites.
i find most of the commentators here to be highly puritanical and sanctimonious.
why is this woman such a threat?
Okay, Jackie, then send her your husband’s phone number.
she can gladly have it. im not that painfully insecure.
Jackie, I don’t think it’s the woman, it’s the attitude, the site itself and the men who engage. She is bragging about it.
Marriage is about one’s vows, now illicit encounters.
It’s about the vileness of what she is STANDING up for.
She made herself the poster child. Not us.
Troll…
1. This woman is NOT a celebrity, so why is her drivel on this site?
2. Marley’s story reads like a new exploitive journalistic ad for adulterous dating websites (just a marketing gimmick), rather than a real first person feature.
3. Giving Marley benefit of the doubt, she still smacks of defensiveness and super low self-esteem trying to justify her hobby! Why does she avoid relationships that can actually grow and be healthy? Why does she sell herself so short by skirting a full loving relationship? Her point of view is equivalent to “Yeah, I am only going to eat junk food because I like it and I don’t care if it isn’t nutritious, that’s all I am going to eat!”
4. Consenting adults may do as they please as long as they do not harm anyone else. The wives and children are likely harmed by adulterers’ actions, and Marley knows this yet deliberately harms by choosing liars as her “friends”/dates/lovers.
5. Marley tries to sell her lifestyle as though she is doing a public service!
Humbug to this nitwit. Get some therapy and some healthy self-esteem, girl. It seems Marley has never experienced unconditional love and partnership, and is settling for some cockamamy losers and aborted relationships instead. She doesn’t get my pity though; I just wish she’d get her head out of her a*s, stop pissing in the pool of womanhood and love, and, get off of my fun website.
What the hell kind of Pixar movie is this and why is Michael Haneke directing it? I thought we were going to watch Good Burger.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!
‘Kay, I’m calling B.S. on this whole thing. I think that Marley probably had a married “boyfriend” at some point. He kept around for casual hook-ups with minimal effort. I think she is very insecure and was just grateful that a man was paying any attention to her at all. He dumped her, and she needs to justify this. She needs to justify the fact that men DON’T want a relationship with her, and that the only way she can have a man around is by offering easy, no-strings-attached sex. She finds married men on this dating site. When they meet up, some of them don’t find her appealing — the ones she just “dates” but doesn’t sleep with. Others hook up with her once or twice, because, hey, free sex. And she tells herself that this makes her happy and that she is really choosing this life.
What I don’t understand is how she’s not a homewrecker? Don’t get me wrong it takes two to tango and he’s just as guilty if not more so…but why play with fire?
Eventually this all will blow up in her pretty (?) little face. I know one thing that is absolutely true in this world, what comes around goes around. Defend your actions all your want lady but honestly you’re putting nothing out but negative energy and it’s gonna come back to you.
No one seems to be pointing out her obvious delusion in that she thinks if one of us unknowingly was involved with a married man then that makes us the same as her. I once dated and slept with a married man. The difference is that he hid it from me. I had NO idea. When I found out I left. I also felt sick about it because it wasn’t something I wanted to do. She ACTIVELY seeks out married men and starts relationships with them. She may not always sleep with them but she admitted she sometimes does. Whether she sleeps with them or just provides emotional support it’s still wrong. Also, just because she isn’t cheating on anyone doesn’t make her guiltless. She is just as guilty as the man in that she provides him with an outlet he does not deserve. Sure someone else would do it if she didn’t but that doesn’t make it right. It’s akin to the “everybody else is doing it so I will too” mentality. If everybody is getting high on coke, drunk driving, and running over puppies that doesn’t make it okay. It would be like if I drove drunk and got a dui and said “Well if I didn’t do it Lindsay Lohan would.” Lastly, she can’t pretend to be innocent in the pain of others when the wife finds out. She says she leaves if the wife finds out or the man gets too serious. It’s too late then. The damage is done. If she didn’t want to be a party to the pain of others then she wouldn’t get involved in this lifestyle to start with.
Eh, on an unrelated note it’s kind of dumb of her to put herself out there like this. Isn’t she aware there’s a likely chance a jilted wife might hunt her down?
That being said, I do not agree with anything that she says. She and the men that she cheats with are in the wrong. Period. She can justify it any way she likes, she’s still in the wrong.
I was thinking the same thing!!
someone is going to bust her in the head, LOL!!
If the men weren’t cheating with her, they’d be cheating with someone else. They’re grosser than she is — but that’s why she’s more interesting to talk about.
She defends herself by saying she’s not breaking up homes. Okay, she’s not breaking up homes, technically. That is not the point.
What she is doing, is putting women in a sexual relationship without their consent. This is called “non-consensual polygamy.” If she wanted to have sex with men who had open marriages, there would be no problem (and it’s actually quite easy to find people in open marriages once you start looking). If she wanted to have sex with men who didn’t want to marry, there also would be no problem. (Again, quite easy to find.) Why is she not doing that? What, emotionally, is she getting out of being one of the consenting partners in a three-way relationship to which one of the partners does not consent?
Her charm gives me the creeps. So does her moving of goalposts. She’s manipulative and good at it. No one cares how many men you have sex with, we care that those men you have sex with are in marriages that they are pretending to their wives are monogamous and which aren’t. And why would anyone want to give a man like that the time of day, let alone have sex with him?
interesting comment and points.
I’ll have ma cake with a side of pork!
“How many of you reading this now, even the ones who despise me, can honestly, without a shadow of doubt, say they have never dated/kissed/flirted with another person’s spouse or partner?”
*Raises Hand* I respect other women and the fact they’re married, as I respect marriage in general. I wouldn’t want another woman to date/kiss/flirt with my husband so therefore I would never do that to another woman myself.
“I could do what I wanted when I wanted and had to answer to no one; something a lot of people initially struggled to understand, but ultimately envied.”
I don’t envy you. I’m married and *gasp* I’m allowed to do what I want when I want. It’s called marrying a man who respects you and understands the fact that as a human being, his wife deserves to live her own life and fulfill any dreams and goals she has.
“I have dated many men but not bedded them as it has been claimed, but does that count as an affair?”
Yes, yes it does. You’re spending time with another woman’s husband without the woman knowing. You’re on a date to see if you click with this man on an emotionally intimate level and perhaps sleep with him.
“Where does the affair begin?”
The second you and he agree to go out on a date without the wife knowing about it.
“And from the mistress perspective, when do I go from being a normal, single woman getting to know a man, to the evil mistress who should be vilified?”
Again, the second you and he agree to go out on a date without the wife knowing about it.
“Yes, I know sleeping with married men is shocking, but I have never and will never wreck any homes.”
Really? How do you know that for sure? Maybe after you and a particular man have stopped seeing and communicating with each other, his wife found out about you and ended their marriage. Maybe a wife has found out about you while you were still “dating” her husband and ended the marriage, but he just never told you about it. You take the risk of wrecking a home every single time you go out on a date with a married man.
“And if his wife ever finds out and questions him, I end it.”
You want a medal? How about preventing the wife from ever finding out to begin with and not dating her husband?
“But don’t judge me for dating so many men, can you all say you are completely innocent when it comes to your previous dating history?”
Yes, I can. I met my first and only love at 17 and ended up marrying him. He is the only man I’ve ever been with so yes, I can say I’m completely innocent in my dating history. And even if I hadn’t married him and decided to date other men, I can safely say I would never, ever date a man who was already attached.
“He who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Please don’t use the Bible to try and justify your lifestyle because the Bible is pretty clear in its stance on adultery.
On a final note, you seem pretty sensitive on comments about your looks. Why? You state you have a lot of self confidence so why would the comments of a bunch of strangers on the Internet affect you so much? If you’re going to come out and publicly talk about doing something as immoral and wrong as this, you should expect people to not only call you out on it, but also comment about your looks. You made it worse for yourself by saying you’re sensitive to comments about your looks, because now that’s what people will latch onto to attack you.
Bravo Tansey! I feel that you’ve easily dispatched all of Karen Marley’s “morally ambiguous/where’s the line” stupid-a$$ ridiculous questions. Oh PLEASE, as if that heifer doesn’t already know the answer to such. She just asks such rhetorical questions to somehow try to convey that she “may be onto” some possible moral/ethical inconsistencies…and it’s total BS.
And YES…I’m going to feel free to comment on her pictures…after all, she put them out for all to see…what did she expect?! Aside from the obvious about her looks, she just looks to be the lazy type of woman…and this is her “sport,” serial dating, rather than spending some well-needed time at the gym. She’s much more interested in spending her time in twisted, sick “relationships,” or in her words, DATING(?)that will lead to absolutely nothing. This is her “right,” of course…but not w/married men. It’s not right for neither party, but whatever. Vacuous lives for vacuous people that like to fool themselves into thinking it’s all “okay.”
It’s so obvious to me that she DOES feel bad from what she’s doing because if she did not, then WHY the need to go to great lengths to justify/rationalize, and pose absolutely ridiculous “moral boundary” questions. She’s just one of those types that thinks the louder and more out there she is w/what she’s doing, she feels that no one could possibly accuse her of such.
What it is, is false bravado….simply put. She’s not fooling many people here.
Yes, I harbor equally loathing feelings about the married men that are participating in such….it’s just they (the married men) are, of course, exercising DISCRETION (which I’m not applauding). I don’t think the word discretion can be found in Karen Marley’s vocabulary.
She’s pitiful, as she thinks she’s found the perfect argument for what she’s doing. Having emotionally devoid relationships….no attachments. Whatever…she’s only fooling herself…and it’s sick…very sick.
I just get the impression she’s trying really, really hard to justify her lifestyle and convince everyone that there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing and that it’s A-OK to fool around with other women’s husbands. But I really feel that deep down, she KNOWS what she’s doing is wrong. I’m no psychologist, but if I had to take a guess, I’d say this “self confident” woman really doesn’t have any self confidence, and she dates married men so she doesn’t have to risk being rejected in a normal relationship if things got to the point of being serious.
I’m a psychologist Tansey and I really agree with you!
Nailed it! I agree x 1000!!!
I guess we won’t be seeing a follow-up article titled “Marley & Me” by any of Karen’s men! Reading all these posts with interest….I think some of the reaction stems from the universal fear that your partner may one day cheat on you. For many people, marriage isn’t forever anymore. Men and women who are happy and fulfilled don’t cheat.
That’s drawing out the 15 minutes of fame.
The men she cheats with are morally repugnant, but so is she. Did she honestly believe she could air her dirty laundry like this without consequences? Of course the public will be disgusted; she is doing disgusting things! Shame on her, shame on the men who cheat with her. That is all.
Bull. These people seek attention and then fire back when it isn’t done to their liking. You should have told her to stuff it.
I agree!!!
As a former wife of an serial cheater.
Nothing is more disgusting than having to touch a weenie that has been passed around more lips than a peace pipe at a Native American gathering.
Once I realized my husbands “pipe” was community property, I was OUT of there.
There is not enough soap in the world………….
peace pipe at a Native American gathering….
Oh, LMAO!!! Sorry, but that was too funny.
That common pipe-passer a-hole!
Mooshi,
So sorry to read this.
What advise do you give to married women? Are there clues? Hints? Signs that a married man his cheating? Is he late for dinner? Where is his IPHONE? Does he travel?
KB, sorry so late getting back. Just back from work. The signs? Well heres a list (this was before cell phones were popular)
1. He kept a change of clothes under his spare tire in the truck (I found it). If he has an extra set of clothes in his car, there is probably another cell phone you dont know about.
2. Glitter on his clothes
3. He spent more money than I could keep track of.
4. After late nights with “the boys” he’d be home at 5am drunk asleep and I would find the phone numbers in his pocket. (yes I would call them and find out from the women what he did).
5. Several women called me themselves when he would break it off with them after weeks of sleeping with him (mad women will tattle).
6. I am a redhead and one day I found lots of VERY long black hair all over my own bed (yuck). Also would find long blond hair in his shirt collars and his PANTS in the laundry. **Strange hair in the clothes is the one thing they screw up on that you can check**
7. ** Check your bathroom drain after he showers. The drain will catch any hair that comes off his body.**
8. If he has been supposedly working all day and he comes home smelling like fresh soap that means he might have showered at her place.
Basically he had a different “flavor” every month. And several of these women befriended me to get closer to him, then ratted him out later.
Serial cheaters will almost ALWAYS sleep with women you know. They can’t help themselves.
Does anyone else find it odd that she reached out to Celebitchy? No offense to CB, but I don’t consider this site as internationally popular as TMZ or even Radaronline. I think she loves the fact that she got so much attention from the commenters of this site, that she couldn’t resist. If one of the above posters is correct and a former friend of hers says she hasn’t been out with a man in years, then she is really just sad and lonely, begging for attention – even bad attention.
I’m not defending her actions in any way, but I think so much of the hate she’s getting comes from women who feel insecure or unstable in their marriages or relationships. So many women have a fear of their man cheating or have already been cheated on themselves. And this woman is a VERY clear reminder that their are women out who don’t care if a guy is married with children with a little wife at home who breaks her back to keep her family together. And who won’t think twice about sleeping with him. So instead of saying, I’m afraid this could happen to me and my relationship, it’s easier to lash out and call her a whore, a bitch, a slut, and a home wrecker. When in reality she’s not forcing any of these men to be with her. They come to her and she gives them whatever they are not getting at home. What’s upsetting is she’s not the slightest bit attractive so she obviously VERY GOOD at what she does.
I’m not sure why some think it has to be one or the other. The cheating husbands can be cowardly a$$holes AND this woman can be a whore, b1tch, home-wrecker, etc.(assuming it’s not a hoax). Both parties are in the wrong and there’s nothing wrong with the “little wife” who is being cheated on, being upset with either of them. I think the reality is, most likely, the “little wife” will get the blame either way…because he wasn’t getting what he needed at home, etc. No one really cares whether his wife is getting what she needs at home – she is just expected to do what’s right.
Mm… nope. I have no fear about my dude cheating. I know that anyone can be tempted. I know that we could some day have a bad patch in our relationship, and he could possibly cheat. So could I. Humans make mistakes, and this is a mistake people make all the time — to cheat in a moment of weakness. I also know that if either of us cheated, we would be honest and tell each other about it. We could get past it. Though we couldn’t get past him serially cheating or seeking out random women on the internet — but I know he wouldn’t do that. The idea is as preposterous as him growing wings and flying to Mars.
If he did cheat, I wouldn’t care what the woman looked like, because I know that my dude loves me and is attracted to me for reasons other than my looks. Which, duh. Of course men want women for reasons other than looks. The vast majority of men aren’t utterly shallow, no matter how much Hollywood and advertising agencies try to convince us they are. No one falls in love with someone for how they look.
I don’t like the sexist terms that are being thrown at this woman. That doesn’t mean I care for her one whit. Nor do I care for the also sexist “he’s gonna cheat if he doesn’t get what he wants at home” bs. If he’s not getting what he wants at home, then he talks to his wife about that and they fix it together, or he divorces her. Purposely seeking out other women, deceiving his wife and thereby forcing her into a relationship she has not consented to, is 100% his own fault. Men are not little babies who need to be constantly coddled and indulged in order for them to do the right thing.
As I said earlier, this woman is participating in a three-way to which one of the partners does not consent. She seeks out these relationships, and only these relationships. That is gross.
This lady raises a good point of where does cheating begins? In a man’s head, in his fantasies, when he’s flirting with co-worker, when he goes to a strip club with some mates, in an actual action. I would really like to hear an honest opinion of men, single and married.
She sounds fairly intelligent and I’ll take CB’s word for it that she’s charming in her way but nope. I’m still gonna throw shade at what she does. Not just at her though but those cowardly “men” who opt to date her while married.
Only bright note int this post, we find out that CB’s name is Katie. 🙂
ahah isn’t it? We want “Katie” to be in our next celebrity post ;))
About Karen, in a way, she seems like a nice person. I guess she is just trying to justify to herself her lifestyle.
I do think that people who cheat are disgusting and the enphasis on this issue should always go to the person that is in a relationship. However, someone that lives happily with getting the “rests” of someone else is not giving herself what she deserves. On the other hand, she is also contributing for this all lack of empathy between women. If you now that you can be hurting someone else, and specially you have no reason to do it (as she says that she actually doesn’t feel anything special for these men), then you have to be really mean to not care about it. I think that Karen cares and that’s why she is trying to rationalize it so much. Speaking to Karen now, since she is reading this: You should stop being afraid of going into a relationship that can actually have a future. What you are doing now is simply hide in something safe, where you can’t be hurt, because you are simply an accessory to someone’s live. I don’t know if someone hurted you before or if something else in your life gave you the impression that all relationships are bad, but it seems to me that you are not giving a chance for something “real” to happen. I’m sorry if that’s too judgy but that’s what happens when you expose your life like this. I hope anyway that you will find your way to respect yourself more in the future, since you do seem like a nice bright woman.
#1. Nope I’ve never flirted, dated or slept with someone that is in a relationship of any kind.
#2. The cheating begins when a man signs up online for a mistress.
#3. Think for a second how you would feel if you were the woman/wife being betrayed. Put yourself in her shoes.
#4. You are right, everyone has different tastes and looks mean different things to different people. However, because a lot of women feel this is so emphatically against girl code, you have to accept the fact that they will lash out.
#5. Try to seek another way to find temporary companionship. A way that will not potentially hurt others.
P.S. I didn’t have time to read all of the other comments, so not sure what was already posted.
So wait, she, the professional mistress is judging others for judging her looks, which she put out there put everyone to see? Reality check, we ALL judge people’s looks, maybe not verbally, maybe not online, but we ALL do it. Her actions just make it easier to talk about her looks. I personally think men will screw anything, hence her status as a successful mistress. I don’t think there is ever a good reason to cheat. If you’re unhappy in your marriage/relationship, the time to talk it out or break up is BEFORE you bring another person into it. I have a theory that women and men who choose to be with a married man/woman don’t have much self esteem, otherwise WHO would choose to be a secret side piece? She is obviously enjoying her 15 minutes, because she’s still yapping about it. Any married man that has ever “dealt” with her is re-thinking it now. Who knows what she’s willing to spill next?
I just find the fact that there are websites devoted to cheating on your spouse pretty crazy.
That’s it.
why would her and her filthy ways have ANYONE insecure?? I just think its dirty to purposely screw married men..I don’t agree with her and I think she nds to spend some time in the gym and NOT be proud nor try to justify her trifling ways.
I’m not married, and I date a single man.
I happen to think that men are insecure and that is why they choose unattractive women, they can get away w/more and make them jump higher.
I enjoyed this banter today…it was good to read everyone’s thoughts and points of view.
The only thing I agree with her on is we shouldn’t focus on looks. It is superficial. I don’t agree with what she does but what irks me is that she tries to be saintly about it. That she says she breaks it off when it gets too “serious”. When you come into a marriage and ruin what’s already on the rocks don’t pull out when the wife finds out and act innocent. Own it.
I have been the young, beautiful, fit dedicated wife who was devastated when I found out about about my husband’s multiple affairs and I did divorce him. I am now having an affair with a married man 10 years younger and I love it. The marriage has “dead” for over 5 years….he stays because he has 2 daughters and doesn’t want to devastate the girls. I have no intention of breaking up his marriage….I feel an affair is a symptom of a dysfunctional marriage. Also, no one ever recognizes the FACT that people are monogamous by choice not by nature! It’s just not our place to judge anyone for what they choose to do. It does take 2 to “tango” and I do place far more responsibility on the married party when an affair takes place but I have seen so many situations that it’s impossible to play judge and jury!
the whole polyamorous thing will be a hoot once good looking people catch on to it.