John Mayer has some advice for gossip bloggers

John Mayer has some advice for gossip bloggers. He writes in his column for the Huffington Post that we should aspire to be like legendary comic Don Rickles and temper our snark with some humanity. Half buried in this article is Mayer’s admission that he does read what is written about him online and finds that it often stings. If only we could admit that we like him, that we struggle with the same issues that face him, he could sleep better, feeling that he’s understood despite all the mocking. At least that’s what I read into it:

There’s no doubt that at their most irreverent (and yes, mean), gossip blogs can be truly funny. After all, as Rickles has shown the world for years, there’s infinitely more material to be mined in the delicious details of the detested than there are in the lauded. Five words for good, five thousand for bad.

But there’s one element that has always gone missing in the new era of dissery, and perhaps it’s the most important part of the game. It’s what’s given Rickles the room to move with almost diplomatic immunity through cultural stereotypes and sensitivities: that effusive smile, the “not really”, and most importantly, the implicit “me too.” It’s what has given Rickles both his edge and his charm for over five decades, and its absence in today’s gossip media is what will soon lead to a population tired of it.

At Rickles’ recent performance at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut, he made Perez Hilton look like a sycophant. Nobody — and I mean nobody — has what it takes to point out a morbidly obese man in the front row and call him out on it in song. (The man laughed hysterically.) After ribbing two men on stage, making fun of both them and their wives, he had handlers walk bottles of champagne to their seats, thanking them for playing along and suggesting they enjoy the bottles in their hotel rooms while making love. It doesn’t make the bite any less sharp, but it invites people to return to the lion’s cage.

If, in the blogosphere, there is any semblance to Rickles’ style of dressing the very wound he’s inflicted, it seems only to come posthumously; if you’re a celebrity and you want to sniff out who actually wishes you’d get killed by a grizzly bear flying a helicopter and who was only joking about it and had no idea it would actually happen, swear to God, you have to die to find that out. I appreciate kind thoughts in the wake of my passing, but they’d go to better use while

I can still hear them. Or is that too much kindness for one person to be allowed?

Wouldn’t it be nice, every once in a while, to read some sort of evidence of heart? An occasional ‘We kid, the guy’s okay??’ Unless you really don’t, in which case you won’t be sorry when that bear shoots me with a rocket launcher. Mark my words: the gossip-monger whose style closest resembles that of Don Rickles’ mastery of tension and release will stay successful the longest. Because the salient rules of entertainment will always apply. And Don Rickles should know, because he helped write them.

[From The Huffington Post]

Maybe the issue is that everyone doesn’t really think you’re ok, Mayer. You don’t have to please everyone and it’s not even possible. Plus, The Internet is not stand up. We come across stories and have about a half an hour at most to write them up. People like Perez Hilton bang out crap stories in 15 minutes or less and don’t have time to prepare and think out their opinions, and they don’t really care. Add in all the commenters and message boards and you’re bombarded with countless opinions, some nasty and downright prejudiced, coming from millions of people.

Just because we run a gossip blog doesn’t make our hastily written judgment of you any more valid than the next person. You don’t have to take it to heart. We understand that it can hurt, but it’s up to you how you interpret it. Don’t talk down to people saying they should change their writing style and become more understanding. Maybe you should stop caring so much. You’re rich, famous, arguably talented and get to go home to Jennifer Aniston. Start figuring out how to be a better boyfriend to her and stop worrying about what the fools online are saying about you. She gets it much worse than you do anyway. If we stopped talking about you that would be even more disappointing now wouldn’t it?

John Mayer is shown on 11/13/08 at the Keep a Child Alive benefit. Credit: WENN

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42 Responses to “John Mayer has some advice for gossip bloggers”

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  1. riley says:

    who else thinks he kinda looks like justin chambers in that pic?

  2. SeVen says:

    I like his music and hes a talented writer, though he does have a certain talent for poking fun of himself which is good too :)

  3. keltilass says:

    Okay, I have to feel a bit sorry for this young dude now. He’s finding out fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Has to be a hard pill to swallow I’d think. Isn’t he really young? I have to admit this is the first article I’ve read about him. :oops: I usually just read the headlines and move on.

  4. Saffron says:

    Celebs themselves have to realize that they’re just mythic figures upon whom people project their own issues, beliefs, and tangled twisted thoughts.

    The reason celeb culture is so popular is because people have fantasies, antipathies, and generally get to sort of work out their own drama through these characters/celebs.

    So… I hope the celebs don’t take this stuff personally. It really has nothing to do with them.

  5. Codzilla says:

    My advice to John: Go crawl back under that rock from whence you came.

  6. Samantha says:

    Meh, I don’t feel sorry for him. For years he has enjoyed the many perks that come along with fame, such as shagging lots of women, etc. Remorseful of those things? Hardly. So yeah, when some negative things come along, you need to learn to just shrug it off, and not be so sensitive. It was he, after all, who did a lot of the stupid things that resulted in the negative press he gets. (For the most part.)

  7. Alison says:

    He’s such a weener. He bugs me and so does his girlfriend. Together? Absolutely insufferable. I like some of his music, but I see him as a guy with some talent and not much else.

  8. Emily says:

    As usual, it takes me a good three reads for each sentence to understand what he’s talking about. Does he have to be so wordy?

  9. silentA says:

    @ keltilass: He’s not terribly young, born in 1977 he’s just over 30. Though, he’s not terribly old either. He’s been entrenched in fame for a while, his first record gained popularity around 2003.

    But he’s become tabloid fodder only recently, starting with when he dated Jessica Simpson.

  10. ff says:

    Why does he want attention so badly? That’s why people don’t temper their snark.

    Oh and, you know, being a total douche.

    If you can take the hyperbolic praise then you have to accept that it comes also with stinging criticism. Accept it, and move on pls.

  11. Syko says:

    You know, I can’t see why shagging a bunch of girls makes him bad. Isn’t that what all single young guys do (or want to do)? I think he’s got a nice, self-deprecating sense of humor, not all that bad looking, filled out that Borat swimsuit pretty well, I don’t see that much wrong with him. Although I’ve heard better music.

  12. Well put, Saffron.

    Celebrities are just archetypes that the public subscribes to. They are easily recognizable figures that help to unite the masses through observation and conversation. They derive self-importance from this observation and recognition, when really they are no different than characters/caractitures on display for the public.

    If he has a problem being in the public eye, I humbly suggest he stop chatting up the paps.

  13. Heidi says:

    He can “shag” anyone he likes (omg I cant believe I wrote “shag” lmao) but I seriuosly doubt thats the reason why people cant stand him, at least thats not why I find him annoying.
    He walks around with a sense of entitlement, he thinks hes talented, he claims to hate the media yet he chases it every chance he gets,he thinks hes got it going on,…
    I could go on & on & on

  14. anonymous says:

    Well said, CB. The internet is not standup. These blogs are just people having conversations about celebrities’ public personas…they just happen to be over the internet.

    John Mayer has put his music and public persona up for sale. Everyone in the public is a potential customer and has a right to voice an opinion on what he’s selling.

    He can’t control what people say about his public persona in line at the grocery store, or at a party, or on the telephone, or on the internet.

    If he’s going to eavesdrop on conversations, then instead of getting offended at what potential customers are saying about his product, he should view it as free marketing research and use it to improve he’s selling. Or just go away.

  15. keltilass says:

    Thank you Syko, this old broad isn’t up on her hollywood crap obviously. :P Yes, 30 is young to me. :mrgreen:

    I’ve been enjoying the distraction Celebitchy has given me recently. You all do a great job imNsho. :D

  16. geronimo says:

    He’s seems very needy and way too concerned with what people think of him. And that top pic of him, which I’ve now seen way too many times, is seriously creep city.

  17. gg says:

    :lol: at that picture!
    Chey, Mang, djoo wanna buy son cheet?

  18. keltilass says:

    oops I gave credit to the wrong person. lol Sorry silentA. :oops:

    I haven’t slept in a few days, I’m a bit loopy.

  19. Syko says:

    Keltilass, he’s just a kid to me too. All my children are older than he is. :lol:

  20. keltilass says:

    @Syko wow you are an old fart. :wink: :P

    My oldest is 25. Still have one the age were you aren’t sure if you are going to kill ‘em. lol She’s 16 and snarky.

    Lest anyone jump me, know that I thank God for my children and grand children every day.

  21. Syko says:

    Yep, Keltilass – but it’s great fun. It’s okay to be a crusty old bitch, and I’m drawing Social Security AND a decent paycheck so I have more money than I ever had in my life. I don’t even try to suck in my stomach any more, and soon will be farting in public. I highly recommend old age!

  22. ff says:

    I can’t stand him because of all the unnecessary comments he’s made about the women he’s dated. It’s as if he’s always using them as a big magnifying glass for himself.

    I’ve read him say plenty of douchy and unnecessary comments in interviews and I’ve never understood why they needed to be made if he’s so ‘mind-blowingly talented’. Shouldn’t the talent speak for itself?

  23. keltilass says:

    @Syko :lol:
    I’ll be 48 this month. In a few days? um soon lol I don’t really think about it much.

    I’m looking forward to 50. Gonna buy me a red hat and a purple dress and go partying. :-)

    Still waiting to throw that menopause party. I think it @#%!#%unfair to have to deal with that bs after you are done having kids. It makes me ugly, and got me nicked Scary Sherry (among other not so nice behavior. :wink:

  24. The Mayor says:

    You dare diss Perez?

    I’ll DEFINITELY be back here!

  25. Candy says:

    how does a woman go from Brad Pitt tp this?
    Oh yeah…i remember now…Pitt dumped her…
    another good reason for her to hook up with a hot, sexy, rich guy…not this wimp with wannabe facial hair…ewwww

  26. PJ says:

    This is why I like CB: this blog definitely has an edge, but the writers always present the facts about a celeb story and then offer an intelligent analysis of the situation and why they feel the way they do. Then others can agree, disagree, or offer their own opinions.

    Lots of other bloggers are just plain nasty. Sometimes I think people who post in certain blogs are mentally deranged, because they have so much hostility against people they don’t even know. I’ve read posts where they have threatened bodily harm to a celeb they didn’t like. That’s too weird.

  27. boomchakaboom says:

    Who’s this guy again? kidding.

    It would probably help if he was more famous for his music than for whomever he’s dating. I don’t follow his music, so I only know him as that guy who dated Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Anniston.

    He seems to enjoy ladies with alliteration potential. hmmmm.

  28. NotBlonde says:

    He isnt whining about blogs saying mean things about him. Not in the slightest. CB I think you are taking this personally for whatever reason; maybe because you feel guilty. I have no idea.

    But what the subtext in what he is saying here is that blogs that are just outright cruel and say just unnecessarily cruel things for no real reason won’t survive. That is what he’s saying. It’s the reason why he brought up Don Rickles. Don Rickles says some of the most seemingly cruel things in the world to people but he does it in jest, not with any malicious intent.

    Mayer is saying that a blog will likely fail if all they do is talk trash about celebrities to just be cruel. Those who do it in jest, and are actually funny about it, people will want to read and those will succeed.

  29. doodahs says:

    I gotta say, people who blog about themselves incessantly, really shouldn’t be surprised when other people write about them too. As for going looking at what people are saying about you…. jeez, self obsessed much?

    John, stop looking for validation. You are a talented musician but people forget that when you seek the ‘celebrity’. Either be a celebrity with all the trappings (and the pitfalls) and enjoy it for what it is…. OR be a relevant artist whose contribution garners people’s respect for the art, not your view on how mean the big bad press are. Stop putting yourself out there and you’ll find the bloggers will stop. Can you handle that?

  30. doodahs says:

    Does anyone else have a visual of John and Jen in bed with all the gossip mags, newspapers and a laptop with all the gossip sites in front of them, scouring them for what the press are saying about them? Two articles in one day from this couple complaining about the media… it just made me wonder how much time they have for fun? :roll:

  31. Kristen says:

    Codzillla ~

    I think he would have to aspire to be able to crawl up to a rock.

  32. live life says:

    I myself like Jen, she’s just trying to sell her movie like they all do! Many celebs are overbearing media w*ores 24/7, but Jen not so much compared to others… and John seems too young deep down and comments on things when he should h-u-s-h and enjoy the ride, enjoy life and the moment!!!

  33. Kristen says:

    Keltilass ~

    So nice to see you back… how are your nephews?

  34. PJ says:

    boomchakaboom: A lot of John Mayer’s music is available for listening on YouTube, so if you want to know more about him than his dating of celebrity women, check it out.

  35. sasha says:

    This douche cares waaay more than he should about what people say about him. How insecure can he be? He seems like such a suckup that when he and Jen got back together my first thought was: “he can’t stand how the public has turned against him since the breakup and that’s the main reason he’s going back!”

    It’s like his whole life is for the camera. Why hasn’t he hooked up with Paris Hilton yet. they’re just the same!

  36. vdantev says:

    I have some advice for him, hire a GOOD stylist, not someone who shops exclusively at The Gap !!

  37. He’s certainly changed his tune quite a bit from just a few months ago when he readily courted the paps.

    Just because he’s temporarily closed his revolving door of famous one-night stands doesn’t mean he can get all preachy and actually come across as believable.

    Even though he’s got a girlfriend, John knew very well how famous Jen was when he started seeing her, and that’s part of the reason he started dating her in the first place. So obvious.

    If he was actually serious and had changed his mind about courting paps and feeding info to bloggers, then maybe he’d take a cue from Matt Damon or Mark Wahlberg and find a girlfriend/wife who isn’t in show business or at least doesn’t live such a high-profile life. If those A-listers can find women they relate to outside of the fame circle, then it shouldn’t be so tough for John to lower himself as well.

    He won’t do that though. Personally, I think he’s full of crap.

  38. I Choose Me says:

    @ Saffron. You’ve hit the nail right on the head. My advice to JM though is just ignore the negative. Some people aren’t going to like you, some may even hate you – it’s a fact of life, suck it up and move on. As a celebrity you’ve gotta take the bad with the perks.

  39. Susan says:

    I think that what he is trying to say is that gossip blogs are OK but they have become so nasty that it really isn’t fun anymore. It is not just him he is talking about. For example when britney was having a nervous breakdown some blogs continued to make fun of her and post horrible things. Is that right? Do we really need to tear down a human like this? I think that some stuff that is said on blogs now is so rude. And look how blogs just post someone is having an affair when they really don’t know. Can you imagine how hurtful that would be for a marriage. In the past the careers were up for blogs now it is personal stuff from your life. Look at Perez so nasty, dlisted, etc. They pull down women horribly. I think that JOhn means go for it but at times admit that it is all about money and actually as a blog we like you. All stars know what is being said in blogs whether they pretend they do or not. some like to pretend they are “above” the whole thing but you can see that they are not by how they answer questions and how they respond. I actually like stars better who admit that they do know what is being said about them and sometimes it hurts. We have to remember that these are people – unfortunately the new way to make money and hits is to be mean and pick at little things. In all honesty for some stars there is nothing they can do to ever have a good word said about them. Britney is a good example. I honestly believe that the blogs and tabloids have played a role in her problems. A person can only take so much hate and survive. Really sad

  40. mizliz says:

    You look so sad my friend. What is happening to you? Your smile and spontaneous humor with the press used to define you – (And I do hope you read this)- now it is gone. Gone for the past 3 months or so….Ask yourself why?
    Why so SERIOUS? So somber.
    You, and your music speaks for so many. We are sad…The economy, war, box food – you name it. Crappy jobs. (Waiting for the world to change).
    Why are you so sad? We have a pretty good excuse. Are celebrity blogs really what upsets you? Is it Aniston’s permanent angst? Her problem with her past that she, no matter how much she takes off can’t fix…Sadly… You can’t fix either.
    Or is it the world in general?
    In this season in particular -Find Jesus. Hope.
    Your friend and fan.