'12
Can you feel it? Can you feel the “one of these things is not like the other” discomfort come upon you? Ordinarily, Scarlett Johansson might be the odd woman out in a group that involved Helen Mirren and Toni Collette. But not when Jessica Biel is also included in the group. Jessica Biel makes ScaJo look like Lee Strasberg, I swear to God. Anyway, these are some photos from last night’s screening/premiere of Hitchcock in NYC. The star of the film – Anthony Hopkins as Alfred Hitchcock – was not in attendance, leaving the spotlight for the ladies (one exception: James D’Arcy!). Let’s get to the fashion, shall we?
Jessica Biel in Oscar de la Renta. DEAR GOD. This is what a retiree in Florida would wear to play Bingo. This is Biel’s first red carpet as a married woman… and this is what she comes up with? I really hope Justin Timberlake did not cosign this look.
Scarlett Johansson in Rodarte, with fug Gucci shoes. I dislike the dress and the shoes. I don’t understand why Scarlett has such problems understanding what flatters her body. Also: Page Six has a little tidbit about ScarJo this morning. Apparently, she was seen having dinner with a “mystery man” last Thursday. He was described as “dark-haired and slightly taller than her but skinny” and “he may have been speaking French at one point.” New (French?) boyfriend?
Helen Mirren is a goddess, but I’m not totally crazy about her gold-and-black ensemble. Everything from the neck up looks great, though.
I generally like Toni Collette’s hair when it’s darker, but this is a solid look for her – I think she enjoys more avant-garde looks, so it’s nice seeing her in a simple, pretty LBD.
James D’Arcy! He plays Anthony Perkins in the film. He’s so beautiful. I love him.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Fashion, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson
- The Blemish interviews Carmen Electra [The Blemish]
- Rumer Willis joins Pretty Little Liars [Lainey Gossip]
- Morgan Freeman falls asleep during interview [D-Listed]
- Fug or fab: Isla Fisher [Go Fug Yourself]
- Tamra Barney confirms spinoff [Reality Tea]
- Movie franchises that rebounded [Pajiba]
- Why Dylan McKay is the perfect boyfriend [Buzzfeed]
- Saoirse Ronan could have been a Lohan [Evil Beet]
- GIFs from Cannes [Popsugar]
- Cat massages a dog [CDAN]
- Heather Graham is so pretty [Celebslam]
- What is Lucy Hale wearing? [Moe Jackson]
More appropriate question is who looked worse. I hated their dresses. I’m not a fan of Scarlett’s makeup either. Terrible.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
My thoughts exactly… even, sadly, Helen M.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
They all look like crap.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Scarlett looks cheap and ordinary, as always.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Helen Mirren wins hands down.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
My thoughts exactly.. Dame Helen looks fab. The others? Meh..
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Oh my, Helen Mirren and Toni Collette must have laughed hard after the premiere! Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel look awful! Especially Biel! I actually like her clothes, but the bangs and her lipstick….terrible!!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Amen. I adore Helen Mirren.
Never understood the big deal about Scarjo. She’s attractive, but not gorgeous, imo.
Never understood Biel’s appeal either. She can’t dress to save her life, and that fringe on her forehead is horrible. She could look so much better with a proper stylist and hair stylist.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
omg that guy looks so much like perkins its terrifying! haha
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Helen Mirren blows them both away! (Toni Collette is 2nd)
Scarlett’s outfit (and makeup) looks like a bad Halloween costume and Jessica’s looks like something Bea Arthur wore on Golden Girls.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
ok, yea, ya’ll can hate on Biel all you want for wearing an older look, but let’s face it… it’s much better than ScarJo’s crap styling, dress, shoes, ick.
Biel is looking fresh and I happen to like the look. Yes, someone 70 can wear it, but I bet that 70 yr old would look like a million bucks in it.
Discuss.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Came here to make the same Golden Girls comment!
I think Biel’s outfit and styling are far worse than Johannsen’s in this instance.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Jess needs a new stylist. She always dresses so much older than she is.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Betty White would consider herself too young to wear that outfit. Ugh, all she needs are some over-sized glasses and a cigarette dangling out of her mouth.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Helen Mirren looks amazing.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I thought there was nothing more appalling than Jessica’s bangs. Well, this outfit disproves that theory.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Did they borrow each other’s crappy dark lipstick? ScarJo looks like she has no teeth in one pic!
And Jessica, I just … Girl really needs a stylist. I don’t consider myself particularly fashion forward, but even I can tell it’s a bloody mess.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Am I crazy for loving JB’s outfit? It looks glitzy and old world…not old fashioned.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
the pants are amazeballs.
she is not.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’m with you Bella.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I agree bella. It looks like an outfit an actress would have worn when the Hitchcock movies originally screened.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Dear Scarlett,
Please stay in America, don’t come up here and snatch an European dude and other invasion plan no no no no!
Sincerely,
Dooliloo.
*grabs voodoo doll*
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I think it’s too late to prevent her invasion plans. According to french tabloids,she’s dating a french guy named Romain Dauriac. He’s some kind of hipster, apparenty.They recently spend time in Paris together.He seems to match Page six description so I guess he was the “mistery man” she was dining with.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
That’s why she’s been wandering the streets of Paris for the past summer/autumn and having that doodle of a tattoo on her rib huh…
It is never too late to thwart her plans…
*makes another voodoo doll*
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Oh my. Jessica and Scarlett both look terrible. Jessica’s outfit looks exactly like mentioned here, Golden Girls or something. Scarlett looks like a skank who bought her dress at Forever 21. Helen and Toni look great though.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Do I have to choose one? Because I don’t like either of them. Toni and Helen look WAY better than ScarJo and Jessica. Yikes.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I don’t like either of their outfits….btu ScarJo’s is better. Whose idea was it to wear a sparkly disco pant suit?
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Both looks, Jessica and Scarlett’s, scream DISASTER! Their respective stylists must really hate them.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
My grandma wore an outfit very similar to Jessica’s to my sister’s wedding. She’s very stylish but she’s 74!!!!!
This might be one of the all-time red carpet disasters. I don’t think anyone under the age of 50 should wear a matching beaded pantsuit. The pieces separately are fine. If the top was a little longer it would be a cute dress and the pants would be good with a fitted top or maybe a halter or tank top – but together????? It’s beyond bad. I’m beginning to think Jessica is pretty much clueless in every aspect of her life.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Helen Mirren FTW!! I love her so.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Helen and Toni looks great.
I am not surprised at JB the girl wouldn’t know good fashion if it bit her on that fantastic ass.
Scarlett the Rockettes just called they want their stage costume back in time for their Xmas show.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Didn’t Scarjo bang JT….awkward! By the way, they all look bad.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
LOL, exactly what i was thinking. pretty sure SJ and JT have hooked up a few times over the years…probably while he was dating JB.
man i’m sorry but that video they starred in together a few years ago was HAWT. i’ve always held a torch for scarlett and justin. i’d like to see the interactions between jess and scarjo.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Jessica has known Scarlett since she was a teenager. They did a photoshoot back in the late 90s along with Kirsten Dunst and Danielle Harris.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
She was in his “What Goes Around” video. Anyone who stars in a movie or music video with Justin gets the inevitable “dating” rumors. I personally don’t buy it.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
ScarJo, close your mouth this instant. That open mouth thing offends me enough in magazine shots but on a carpet? This is getting out of hand now.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I just kind of clued in that JB and SJ are in a movie together. Wasn’t there some kind of beef between them awhile ago? Something about a man? Either way, I think Biel is really trying to look avant-garde and it just doesn’t work with her.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Yeah it was about Timberlake actually. When Biel and Timblerlake first broke up, and he did that music video was ScarJo. There was rumors they hooked up.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
That was it! For some reason I was thinking Bradley Cooper… Must have been a bit awkward on set.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Justin did that video with Scarlett around the time he broke up with Cameron Diaz, not Jessica.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I can’t stand Scarlett J., because she’s such a homewrecker. I wish she’d do something with her hair.
I love love love Helen Mirren and Toni Collette….Toni is such an under-rated actress and beauty….
I don’t mind Jessica Biel, but that pantsuit…Blanche from Golden Girls???? (For those young readers, Golden Girls was a sitcom about four older women sharing a luxury condo in Florida, I think it was)
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Celebitchy – Lee Strasberg is a deceased male acting teacher and sometime actor (see Godfather.) ‘Makes Biel look like Katherine Hepburn, or Meryl Streep’ would have been more accurate analogy.
And just for the record, both ScarJo and Biel are mediocre actresses. Yawn x 2. Shouldn’t breathe the same air as Helen Mirren.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
What in the fresh HELL is Jessica wearing??
The styling makes it even worse.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Alreet I think there has been a confusion in the clothes delivery…
JB outfit belongs to Dame Helen Mirren
ScarJo outfit belongs to JB
Toni Collette outfit belongs to ScarJo
Dame Helen Mirren outfit belongs to Toni Collette
James d’Arcy belongs in my bed.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
+1
Brillz!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I can sign off on this letter. And as soon as you said it I thought, “wow – Mirren would rock that outfit!”
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Thanks darling
Dame Helen would rock that outfit hands down indeed!
[Dooliloo]
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Wow.
A+
I am impressed with this analysis.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Jessica looks like a 50 year old, and Scarlett looks like one of those cheap, D list actresses that show up to every red carpet event. Helen wins.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Toni Collette looks amazing.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
The CW is making a “Sex in the City” prequel called “The Carrie Diaries.”
Maybe Biel is gunning for a lead in the Golden Girls prequel, “Bronze Broads”, in which Dorothy is Blanche’s pimp in 1970′s Las Vegas.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Jessica’s hair reminds me of someone on a limited budget who cuts their own hair to save money. Even on her gorgeous figure, that outfit is so unflattering it defies words.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Helen Mirren better than both.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Who looked better? More like who looked worse (minus Helen)
the Biel Bangs, will they ever go away?Reminds me of dolls , when I was little and cut their hair, they looked like that.
the outfit wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t a two-piece, if it didn’t look like a spacesuit, and if it wasn’t on Jessica.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Toni Collette is winning the clothing battle, Helen Mirren is winning at life, and ScarJo is winning at ScarJo vs. Jessica Biel. And I’m good with all of that.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
At first glance I thought in the first picture it was Uma Thurman and not Toni Collette!
Incidentally, her shoulder seems to have grown a teeny tiny arm wielding a knife trying to cut that hideous outfit off Jessica Biel….
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I was actually singing “one of these things doesn’t belong” before I scrolled on to the text.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Scarlett’s outfit is horrible, including the shoes, her hair, & too-dark lipstick.
Jessica’s poorly dressed (pajamas?) & styled, & her toes hang over the sides of her sandals, which always looks bad.
Helen looks wonderful except for the shiny Spanx & Toni looks great too. Looks a bit here like Jessica Chastain.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
And I had to look at Jessica’s feet…Now I can’t unsee Jessica’s fat, unmanicured toes escaping those shoes. Where is my brain bleach and why do women with really ugly feet HAVE to go nude and show every flaw? Sigh…
Oh and yep JT did sleep with ScarJo. Twenty bucks says ScarJo is hot like fire in bed and JT is still thinking about it.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
LOL! Now I can’t unsee them either. She has truly ugly feet. And those shoes are so wrong for those fat piggy toes. And wtf is it with all that botox? Biel looks 45 already! And dresses it too. LOL!
Report this comment as spam or abuse
She was in his music video. I don’t recall any reliable sources claiming they hooked up.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Why did you make me look? I don’t know what’s going on with them but they need to be out of sight.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Scarlett, close your mouth please. Jessica, just don’t.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Jessica looks truly hideous.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’m devastated to say this but Dame Helen has finally gotten work done on her face. Tonight is unrecognizable and honestly? They ALL look like crapola. I agree totally with the outfit swap analysis. I REALLY miss the old Hollywood glamour.
Where art thou Edith Head when we NEEEEEEED thee.
Sighs.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Toni and Helen win. Scarlett looks like she’s in drag again. Jessica, as usual, looks like total crap.
Jessica’s trying to set an “elegant” trend but trashy on the inside can never do elegant on the outside. She just doesn’t understand that she doesn’t have what it takes to pull off true glamour. The cameras never lie.
She and Beyonce need to have a meet and greet. They can be the “money cannot buy good taste” twins.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Holy Hell…Jessica’s outfit is unforgivably HIDEOUS.
Love ScarJo’s lipstick, though.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
um, looks like the trailer park girls are going to the local casino
whathafa, love Helen but they are all wearing doilies
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I agree, none of them look great. Their dresses were ill chosen. ScarJo looks terrible with the big green addition on her bodice. Although I like Biel, I’m not a fan of her horrible bang look and the white pants outfit doesn’t do her justice. I love Mirren, but this dress isn’t doing her any favors. And dark red lipstick just doesn’t look good on everyone, in every instance.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
My husband’s Grandmother has the same outfit as Biel. She’s 90 years old. And yes, she lives in Florida.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Toni looks great.
All the other ‘outfits’ look like they have a (tacky) crocheted overlay. FAIL.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Helen Mirren
Report this comment as spam or abuse
My nana just came back from the grave and demanded her 1975 pants suit back! Jessica, dial back the granny gun and find some flattering clothes.
And stop pouting, Scar Jo. You’re young, rich, you’re a damn actor for heavens sake. You got it all. Close your mouth and smile on the red carpet.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
I’m always so amazed (and amused) by how Scarlett can look so gawky and awkward in one shot, then a different angle or moment and she’s a bombshell.
Report this comment as spam or abuse
Winner- James D’Arcy
Report this comment as spam or abuse