Jack White covers the January issue of Esquire UK, and the cover itself is so uncharacteristically simplistic for the magazine (which has, to be perfectly honest, favored cluttered messes of late) that one cannot help but pay attention to the main attraction. Then again, I adore Jack White not only for his music (especially the White Stripes as well as those neverending side projects) but also for his no-nonsense attitude. He’s also a very chivalrous guy and once leapt into an audience to rescue a girl who had fainted before she could get stampeded by the crowd. Can you imagine waking up, looking up at those gorgeous curls, and then realizing that you are inexplicably in Jack White’s arms?
Anyway, Jack not only looks like his usual pale, weird-ass self in this Esquire shoot but also lets us know what he’s really thinking about today’s trends in music and television. For one thing, he’s completely disgusted with Clint Eastwood’s decision to appear in that dumb reality show at the behest of his famewore wife, Dina Ruiz (who may or may not be Mrs. Eastwood for much longer). Jack also takes aim at social media and (yes!) the artifice that is Lady Gaga. Here are some excerpts:
He’s not a fan of reality shows: “The goal of modern celebrity is to make yourself into the lowest common denominator, ‘Hey, I’m a guy just like you. I like beer, a football game.’ Especially in reality television, you’ll see what people will go so far as to make a fool out of themselves just to prove that. I don’t want to see a reality show about Michelangelo. You know, There’s no reason to put yourself in a position that makes things completely un-special.”
He doesn’t like Twitter at all: “I think the only people who should have Twitter accounts are comedians. Because it’s all about one-liners. I would use it if Conan O’Brien or Reggie Watts or Stephen Colbert were to walk into a room and tell me one joke and leave. But you don’t want Gore Vidal telling you, ‘I’m doing my dishes right now.’”
He hates Lady Gaga’s music: “I don’t think she lives it because it’s all artifice… It’s all image with no meaning behind it. You can’t sink your teeth into it. It’s a sound bite. It’s very of this age, because that’s what people want. They want a Twitter line, a Jpeg, an MP3.”
[From Esquire UK]
Finally, someone inside the music industry has the balls to say what many of us civilians have already realized — Lady Gaga is a vaccum. A non-entity. She’s like the obnoxious James Franco of pop music. Those two should really get married and make each other disappear. I think I’d be happy if that happened, and I know that Jack White would enjoy it too. Then I could marry Jack White, and we could have very pale babies together! Sigh.
Photos courtesy of Esquire UK