Gwyneth Paltrow & Tracy Anderson cover Redbook, shill their weight loss

Gwyneth Paltrow and her fraud trainer Tracy Anderson cover the new issue of Redbook. Isn’t Redbook too downmarket and gauche for Gwyneth? She’s so obviously slumming it with Redbook, but she must have agreed to it because she wanted to help Tracy peddle her crazy diet-and-exercise system to the peasants. And much like Tracy’s comments about pregnant women several months ago, she’s still a condescending bitch. Too harsh? This is the same woman who said, “A lot of women use pregnancy as an excuse to let their bodies go, and that’s the worst thing. I’ve seen so many women who come to me right after (having children) with disaster bodies that have gone through hell, or they come to me years later and say, ‘Oh, my body is like this because I had three kids.’” That’s how she talks about HER CLIENTS. So what does Tracy have to say about Gwyneth and vice versa?

After giving birth to daughter Apple in 2004, Gwyneth Paltrow got back in shape quickly. But after having son Moses two years later, she had trouble losing the baby weight. Enter Tracy Anderson. Without bothering to butter her up, Anderson quickly went to work on the Oscar winner.

“She was this force from the second I met her,” Paltrow, 40, tells Redbook in its January issue, on newsstands Dec. 18. “She pulled my pants off. I’ll never forget it. She was like, ‘Oh, my God, wow, I just am so surprised, because you look so good in clothes. I wasn’t expecting this.’ ”

On how Gwyneth marked her 40th birthday: “The morning of my 40th birthday, my children and husband woke me up with hugs and gifts, and I proceeded to have the best week of my life. I feel really happy being 40, now that I’m on the other side of it. There was definitely some uncomfortable anticipation. But I’m amazed at what I’ve been able to accomplish, that I’ve maintained my important relationships and have such incredible women friends, that I have two funny, beautiful children who can give me a real life. In a way, I feel like no one should make big life decisions until 40. It’s when it all starts to settle and become clear.”

Gwyneth, on the significance of her 40th birthday: “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I have the good fortune of knowing what they are. I can recognize my limitations, forgive myself, and celebrate the fact that I have made it to this important birthday with the information I need to keep making corrections.”

Anderson takes a targeted approach to weight loss, identifying areas that need work and tailoring an exercise regimen to address them. Among the tips she offers Redbook readers:

• Those with heavier thighs and hips should work their upper and lower body equally, and limit the stair-climbing workouts, lunges and spinning.

• To lift and tone your bottom, dial down the running and spinning and do more back and side leg lifts that require flexing your glutes.

• To balance out a thicker core and bust, quit the Pilates and yoga and focus instead on high-impact aerobics, planks and fast-moving arm exercises.

A catered approach worked for Paltrow. “It did such wonders for my life, my confidence, my sex life, everything,” she says.

Anderson adds: “When you feel your best, you’re more confident in bed, It’s not lights-out, under-the-covers sex. It’s more like, ‘Take a look at this!'”

[From People]

Here’s a real question, ladies. WTF? Why would PAY someone to pull your pants off and say, “Oh, my God, wow, I just am so surprised, because you look so good in clothes. I wasn’t expecting this.” I would burst into tears and then I would probably smack that person in the face. I don’t understand why this nasty, condescending attitude is all part and parcel of Tracy’s weight loss program. I don’t understand why this is acceptable, or considered a “funny anecdote” about Tracy and Gwyneth’s relationship. Is Goop just so far down the condescending-Mean-Girl rabbit hole that she doesn’t even understand that this is not how your trainer should speak to you?

Photos courtesy of Redbook.

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110 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow & Tracy Anderson cover Redbook, shill their weight loss”

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  1. LadyMTL says:

    Seriously, if someone said that to me I’d cry and then HIRE someone to punch her in the face. How incredibly condescending!

    • Liv says:

      Exactly. And she gets paid for that!!

      I wouldn’t want to do sports with such a bitch. Ugh!

    • EmmaStoneWannabe says:

      Yeah..no telling what she pays this woman to basically bully her. No thanks.

      And this rubbed me the wrong way: ” I feel like no one should make big life decisions until 40.” I guess she is in a position to belittle anyone under 40 who makes a big life decision. As a brand new 40-year-old, I guess that qualifies her to suggest no one should get married/have a family/move away/start a new career etc until they are at least 40…damn hypocrite. Maturity is a mindset, not number! Ugh! Insert Goop Foot in Goop Mouth…..!!!!! /rant

      • Becky1 says:

        Yeah, I thought that was a ridiculous statement and I’m 40 LOL. Obviously Gwyneth made big life decisions (i.e. having her kids and getting married) well before 40. She’s ridiculous.

    • annaloo. says:

      That approach works bc it goes right for a person’s insecurities – Tracy’s not the only one who has done it, I’ve been approached by a hair stylist once who had this manner. I imagine that La Paltrow has plenty of insecurites, and Tracey was able to spin a whole empire from it.

      And we don’t have to buy into either of their crap.

  2. Ms Kay says:

    One word : (G)OOPS!

  3. Bubbling says:

    those pants on Goop look like poo. Goop poop.

  4. Ali says:

    Clearly its better to be lied to then to hear the truth….

    • Skipper says:

      No but if you’re at the trainer to get in shape, there’s no need to tell that kind of truth. It’s also just about being nasty.

      • Lisa says:

        It’s also “truth” in the sense that it’s one person’s opinion of your body. Compared to my body, GP’s post-baby body (sans pants) might have looked very good. Compared to TA’s ideal, it apparently did not.

      • Liv says:

        I hate trainers like her. I want to do sports, not spend my time with bitches. Gwyneth was obviously there to work on her body, no need to humiliate her. What a bitch.

      • KC says:

        This. She was already there to work on her body, there was no need to give her body a mean girl critique.

  5. arock says:

    if someone said that to me for free id punch them in the throat, much less someone i paid.
    and why are they both shopping in my mothers closet o’ biege. thats a camel camel toe shes rockin.

  6. Annie2 says:

    Real nice crotch there Gwennie. You’d think they would photoshop that out!

  7. fd says:

    I’m sorry but these are two of the most washed out, unattractive people I have ever seen.

  8. Quinn says:

    GOD, if I hear one more self-important star try to convince us how awesome 40 is, while trying to Botox, starve, fill, nip and tuck their way back to 20, I will VOMIT!!!!

  9. mimifarrow says:

    I’m still so surprised that Paltrow continues to associate with this bulimic oompa-loompa “trainer”. She must have a lot of $$ invested in Anderson’s biz because anyone in their right mind knows Tracy is a lying & stealing hack.
    P.S. Those pics are revolting. “Take a look at this”? Um, turn out the lights honey, because you and your bolt-ons are F U G.

  10. lem says:

    first: why in the HELL was putting goop’s camel toe in pleather leggings on the cover considered a good idea?
    second: I wouldn’t pay a penny to have someone with TA’s body train me. She doesn’t look good and you know she’s not healthy.

  11. Sam says:

    I love how it says “if you are already larger in the hips and thighs, limit stairs and lunges” (basically, the exercises that will work those body parts out). The problem is that those exercises are STRENGTH training and are beneficial overall. The goal of exercise shouldn’t be to get as thin as possible. Exercise should give you strength, stamina, good health – you know, the things that are better than being skinny. Muscle development in your lower body is an awesome thing to have, especially as women age. Anderson just peddles more of the same, that women need to focus on meeting a certain body shape instead of gaining strength, conditioning and overall good health. Same story, different book.

    • Lisa says:

      +1 Weight bearing exercises are important for bone density, which is important for maintaining independence and health as you age. I’d rather be a little bigger in the hips and be strong than the other way around.

      • Sam says:

        Exactly. I was shocked when I started going to a gym that was actually about strength and training and athleticism (as opposed to weight loss) and saw women who were “large” in that they had muscles, were strong and fit. Tracy Anderson would think these women were fat cows, most likely. But most of them could likely fold her in half if they tried. Frankly, I’d rather be like them. And I hate that she relates being thin to good sex. My husband likes a strong woman!

    • littlestar says:

      Yep! She thinks everyone can be thin like her and Paltrow. Ridiculous! Women come in many different shapes and sizes. It’s crazy to think someone who is naturally an apple or pear shape, or someone with wider hips, is EVER going to achieve the pin thin look. It’s just not healthy and she should realize this!

      Also, wasn’t it rumoured a few years ago that Paltrow has osteoporosis? How unhealthy to say women like her shouldn’t be doing weight/strength exercises!

      • Lisa says:

        Yes, like everything, GP shared it with the world: I think she talked in GOOP about how she had osteopenia (precursor to osteoporosis) or, at the very least, a pretty serious Vitamin D deficiency.

    • Chump says:

      This trainer chick should not be giving anyone advice about exercise–she’s an imbecile. Like you stated, any lower body workouts are excellent for all body types and overall health. There is no way to target fat loss to a specific area. How our bodies lose fat is pretty much genetically determined.

      I’m so sick of all this misinformation peddled by idiots: don’t work out lower body if you’re pear-shaped, don’t strength train if you’re a woman, work out for 2 hours a day, only eat fat-free, sugar-free, taste-free, food-like products. Bullshit.

      • merski says:

        THIS!!!

      • lucy2 says:

        Yes! This woman is so often very, very wrong, and it’s gross that people pay her to be an expert when she clearly isn’t. I don’t know if she’s just uninformed and uneducated, or if she just says what she thinks will sell.

      • Lulu says:

        She’s not talking about losing fat there, she is talking about limiting the muscular development. Of course she assumes you’re already going to lose the fat by starving and doing cardio obsessively.

      • pixiegurl says:

        I am a certified personal trainer and group instructor with ACE. I also hold a Master’s degree in Exercise Science. And just let me say regarding your comment: A to the MEN!!! And TA is a fraud.

  12. Amelia says:

    Ah dammit . . . This is probably going to sound really bad and I think I’m going to have to wash my mouth out with bleach since this will probably count as a defence of the Goop and Goop lite but . . . I’d probably respond to that sort of personal training.
    I don’t know why and there’s probably something wrong with me, but whenever someone tells me I can’t do something or is really condescending, it makes me twice as determined in what I’m doing. I like proving people wrong about what I’m capable of.
    That being said, whipping off someone’s trousers and saying ‘I wasn’t expecting this’ is harsh.

    • Eleonor says:

      I get what you’re saying: sometimes a cold shower works better than a kind advice, hearing someone telling you “You can’t do this” can do mircacles for your motivation 🙂
      But as someone who has struggled with the weight for a long time, I don’t know if I could accept an harsh critic like that.

    • Ok says:

      Tracy is a business woman and trying to make money. If she whipped off Gwenny’s pants and said “oh you look fine” then where is she going to make her cash??

      Gwenny was always a slim girl. Holding extra weight freaked her out. Tracy moved in on her lack of confidence.

    • Jae says:

      I came to think that it actually depends on the kind of person you are.

      I know people that consider this “abusive” style to be really motivating.

      Me? The second I’d hear disgusting I’d either tell the trainer to f*ck off, or, depending of the state of mind, will agree with it and… will not do any fitness ever.
      Because if I have disgusting body now, while eating mostly healthy food and being moderately active (and I bet GOOP was doing much more that that), then it means I’d have to keel over to be non-disgusting. Not worth it.
      For me it’d actually be an anti-motivation, because if I am disgusting as I am, I might as well be disgusting while lazily eating delicious crap before the TV. Why bother at all if it doesn’t make any difference?

      I think that is the most harmful thing in the skinny-obsessed Hollywood culture and this is how focusing on obligation to be size zero actually pushes the majority towards the dreaded obesity.
      Because if size two is fat, why should ordinary people even bothere? We’re all losers by default, might as well gorge on.

      Something like ‘well, youre ALMOST perfect, there are some totally minor things to fix…” on the other hand? That’d push me through hell towards the sky.

  13. Mr. Hunt says:

    Good grief I can’t stand this woman. Every time I see her I get the sudden urge to slam my head against the wall. I love RDJ but I won’t be seeing IM3 just because of this woman and her annoying character.

  14. mar says:

    UGLY COVER!

  15. lucy2 says:

    Why is Goop still pushing this fraud on everyone?
    I get the impression Tracy wants everyone to think she’s “crazy” and hardcore, but she just seems like an inappropriate and rude psycho.

  16. littlestar says:

    “To lift and tone your bottom, dial down the running and spinning and do more back and side leg lifts that require flexing your glutes.”

    WTF!!! That’s terrible advice! It was only after I started running that I noticed my butt was more perky and toned! Running COMBINED with squats and lunges does wonders for the *ss. This lady has no clue what she is talking about!

    • Ruffian9 says:

      she’s an idiot. Advice like that went out years ago. Or at least it should have. What’s girlfriend’s degree in?

  17. Grace says:

    Gwyneths forehead and eyebrows are sloping. She looks a little inbred next to Tracy.

  18. littlemissnaughty says:

    Her tips really suck. You can strengthen all muscle groups without looking like you’re on steroids. In fact, neglecting one group can lead to problems. I run and had to learn the hard way that strength exercises prevent injuries.

    She sounds like a hack.

    And if you know your client and have learned how to push and motivate them, you can call them gross if they respond to that. But if you meet them for the first time and say sh*t like that? I would’ve bitch-slapped this chipmunk across the room.

    • berry says:

      Seriously her tips for working out are the complete opposite of what ive read or been told on whats the most efficient way to work out. Like you say this woman is a hack and a dangerous sounding one too.

  19. Mrs.Darcy says:

    The “poop pants” are godawful! Can you imagine Tracy Anderson snarking at Madonna’s bod like that? Hm maybe that’s why it didn’t work out. I highly doubt it was an off the cuff remark though, this is their spiel “Gwyneth was fat and disgusting like you once – well, sort of”. My body might be perfect but I prefer it to having bulimia face. I did wach one of GOOP’s workouts once, and they are completely impractical for anyone to do without a personal trainer and gym, it is all stretch resistance bands rigged up to the ceiling and crap. Also I don’t know why she’s dissing Pilates and Yoga for certain body types as regular practice does help streamline your overall shape. Ditz.

  20. L says:

    Wow. That’s alot of photoshop on Tracy to take out the harshness of her face. The excess tanning spots and wrinkles are all gone. She’s unrecognizable. Her advice is also crap and goes against what pretty much every trainer with a education and actual experience says. Hack.

    http://www.celebitchy.com/248290/tracy_anderson_criticizes_women_who_let_their_bodies_go_during_pregnancy/

    Paltrow is dishwater as always.

  21. Sarah says:

    That woman gets under my skin. I had the teeny tiny dancer’s body once, along with the anorexia and the self-loathing it took to maintain it. Then I had kids and got older. Then I took up running and my ass has defied gravity and I have rock hard legs and skinny arms and small boobs and it’s fucking awesome. I’m happy with my square butt and huge appetite and to hell with Tracy Anderson. She’s not good enough, so there.

  22. Eleonor says:

    Whoever photoshopped Tracy Anderson for this shoot is a photoshop master. She doesn’t look that cute, I barely recognized her.

  23. KateNonymous says:

    Clearly that’s EXACTLY how your trainer should be talking to you. Otherwise, how will you look like Goop?

  24. Meow Mix says:

    Bitches please!

  25. Stubbylove says:

    I want to punch both condescending smiling bitches in the neck.

  26. yael says:

    goop’s leather pants are tragic.

  27. Paige says:

    That’s how my trainer spoke to me. No problem. It motivated me to work even harder. Her advice is spot on. I dont know who this person is so can’t hate on her.

  28. Sweet Dee says:

    1. Goop’s hair looks NASTY. Is that seriously the best they could make her hair look?

    2. Helllloooo, Goop’s crotch in Goop’s poo-brown (p)leather leggings. It’s all I can see. What is this article about again? Oh, yeah.

    3. We DO NOT spot train. Those “tips” are horribly fallacious and misleading. Say it with me now: all-over strength training, cardio training, and eating less. Those are the only tips you need. The end.

  29. Meg13 says:

    I love the “Look at us in sweaters!” picture. LOL That ridiculousness kinda made my afternoon.

  30. Agnes says:

    They’re both huge a-holes.

  31. crystalcastle says:

    She might suck but her exercise program works. The diet part is ridiculous and I would never do that or recommend anyone does, but I’ve become crazy toned doing her workout and have lost love handles that I’ve had since I was a teen. I’m 36 now and this is the first time I’ve responded to an fitness regime with such great results. For a person like me who’s always been out of shape (ie. a fat skinny person) and never wore a bikini for fear of my secret fat being revealed, this is the program that worked and got me into a bikini this summer. I know it’s hard to believe alien-face helped but she did!

    • mercy says:

      She’s not peddling anything new, though. The exercises she uses have been around forever. The value of regular calisthenic routines may have been forgotten in the era of gym machines and I’ll give her credit for promoting them, but the same results can be had without all the hype and nonsense, and for less money.

  32. madpoe says:

    One word: Vanilla

  33. Elisabeth says:

    I wish Gwynnie would stop giving the ‘I-relate-to-the-average-woman’ condesending interviews. Just stop it. Her soul is a horror show, not her spongy flat ass

  34. Sweet Dee says:

    True. I did exactly that this morning.

  35. shewolf says:

    I dont like these people but Tracey Anderson knows her shiz. Just like someone else mentioned, nothing toned me like her workouts. Nothing.

    • Sam says:

      The problem is that its not “her” workout. She promotes a combination of aerobic interval training and extremely targeted muscle repetition. Which any other number of trainers promote. Its been around forever. The guy pushing the Brazilian Butt Lift promotes the same thing.

      And she’s dangerous. She places all importance on slimming and losing overall mass. Telling a woman who naturally carries weight in her hips and thighs to not do weight-bearing exercises out of a fear of getting “large” is irresponsible. All women, especially those of child-bearing age, could greatly benefit from weight-bearing exercise. This woman, by discouraging it, reveals herself as a hack whose only concern in creating more skinny women without concern for actual longevity or health. She knows how to shame women into believing health equals skinny. She seems to know nothing about actual human physiology ann anatomy.

  36. Chordy says:

    This woman should not be allowed to associate her name with the word “health.” She’s half an additional juice fast away from peddling pro-ana propaganda. Her ignorance of the human body is astounding.

  37. RN says:

    I’m ashamed to admit that I bought TA’s exercise DVD a few years back. It was completely bizarre. She poses the entire time, lifting only 5 lb. weights. She seems so aloof and petulant throughout. My friend and I would laugh hysterically at her and then go for a run.

    I’m proud of my age 40 + cross-fit & TRX- trained body. I’m lean and strong. It’s so much better for me to exercise with strength and athleticism as my goal, rather than simply weight loss and appearance.

    I read Anderson’s book (took it out of the library). It combines a starvation diet with way too much daily exercise. I think she’s peddlin’ a crock o’ crap and I hope that women steer clear of her. Her training is a direct recipe for osteoporosis and adrenal fatigue, IMO.

  38. RobN says:

    Well, she was right when she said that lots of women use having had children as a socially acceptable excuse for letting their bodies go. You want to see bitchy? Check out the reactions of the rest of your Mommy and Me group when you take the weight off in a hurry and get back to your pre-pregnancy weight and fitness level. It is not appreciated by those who want to coast for awhile.

    I’m not a huge fan of her business dealings, but if I’m hiring a private trainer, then I want somebody like her to call it like it is. I’m not paying you to be my friend, I’m paying you to get me off my fat ass and get me back into shape.

    That being said, what is it with Redbook and sweaters?

    • Bodhi says:

      It is not appreciated by those who want to coast for awhile.

      Some of us take longer than others to lose the weight, it doesn’t mean that we are “coasting”.

      And as for being bitchy, I think that those who assume that all women snap back & accuse those who don’t of “coasting” are far more bitchy (a la TA & GOOP)

  39. Moi says:

    I agree with Littlestar, TA is dead wrong about not running to get a toned hiney. I got an actual ass and a toned one (didn’t really have one before) from running, squats and lunges. But I do agree with cardio workouts for your arms as well (like kickboxing, etc) and to not use large weights. However, to each their own. What works for one person may not for work for another.

  40. Beth says:

    I would have loved to see the look on Gwyneth’s face when Tracy said that to her! Bet it was priceless!

  41. lizzi says:

    wow. Tracy Anderson sounds like a total c*nt.

  42. GMAB says:

    As so many people have already noted, her advice is sketchy at bit and utter bullsh!t at worst — especially the comments about avoiding certain exercises if you are pear shaped. Also, Gwyneth’s “success” if you want to call it that, is mainly attributable to her diet & nutrition as well as her body type. Sorry Tracy.

    • mercy says:

      Nowhere is that more evident than looking at these two side-by-side. TA’s business is her body, has been for longer than GP has been her client, and she hasn’t been able to achieve GP’s results. That’s genetics for you. I bet GP after two pregnancies still looked slimmer than TA.

      Do their husbands obsess over a few extra lbs. or if they’re a little less firm after they have blessed them with beautiful babies? I feel sorry for them if they do.

  43. mercy says:

    I used to run and that’s about it. Ate whatever I wanted and stayed skinny. Then I hurt my knee and pulled a calf muscle and was forced to take months off. That’s when I learned the value of strength (weights, calisthenics, Pilates) and flexibility (yoga). They don’t burn cals at the same rate as running, but I didn’t get as hungry either, especially for sugar and carbs, and my diet got better. I would not have been able to return to running without strength training and yoga. That she would advise anyone to give them up, or cut back, in favour of intense aerobic exercise is pure ignorance and a recipe for injuries. A balanced approach is always best in the long term.

  44. BengalCat2000 says:

    Why does she always go on & on about how wonderful her life is? Is she trying to convince us or herself?

  45. Anna says:

    Dump the yoga and pilates? OMG

    Obviously Tracy A. lives in the bubble that is her head, i.e. narcissist. There is ONE answer for me so that MUST be the same one answer for you, right?

  46. Bodhi says:

    The problem with TA is that she thinks that all women should have the same body type: skinny. Which is obviously ridiculous. Her program promotes being skinny, not being healthy. We all know that a healthy weight for one person will not be the same for everyone else.

  47. CVI says:

    I bought the dvd’s she sells on the infomercial based on your body type.. There are an exhausting number of reps on the leg portion. I hate that part most and get sort of bored. But I hate the workout even more since my husband watched her on screen and said “she’s got such a great body, She probably won’t even let a man touch her” !!

  48. CVI says:

    I bought the DVD’s she sells on the infomercial .. my husband watched her on screen and said “she’s got such a great body, She probably won’t even let a man touch her” hate those DVD’s now

  49. CVI says:

    I bought the DVD’s she sells on the infomercial .. my husband watched her on screen and said “she’s got such a great body, She probably won’t even let a man touch her”

  50. booger says:

    Well I don’t know about anyone else but I’m perfectly happy with my imperfect but healthy body and normal face that doesn’t look all shiny and roided up. Not really interested in looking like an Easter Island head, even if it means I’m not up to Paltrow par.

  51. Emma says:

    Hey Gwenyth, a really good way to lose weight would be to get a lobotomy. Some might think you’ve already had one, but it might be the one thing to actually make you socially acceptable!

  52. Cazzie says:

    Redbook…that’s the best she could do for a magazine cover?

    Not that there’s anything wrong with Redbook – it’s just that it’s not exactly the type of upscale, aspirational jetset publication that GOOP would usually consider to be worthy of her amazingness.

    I guess the cover for Interview this month was already taken…

  53. Maria says:

    Tracy is actually right about lower body workouts. some women should not train like men if they want to be smaller in the lower body. body building type training is about muscle growth. you work a muscle hard, then you let it rest for a couple of days to repair. the growth is on the rest days. If you want to stay lean and smaller, say like a dancer, you would train the lower body daily. not with heavy weights, just body weight squats/lunges etc. growth can’t happen. nothing ground breaking here, just how muscles work. variety is best, but for women who realy don’t like their larger size, this would be a potential remedy.

  54. tmbg says:

    If I met Tracy, I’d like to say, “OMG, wow, you look really fug in photos, but you’re much fuglier in real life! I can’t believe it!”

    And what’s Goopy talking about here?

    “…I have two funny, beautiful children who can give me a real life.”

    So you don’t have a real life unless:

    1. You have children
    2. They’re funny children
    3. They’re beautiful children
    4. You have two of them

    If you’re missing any of the above criteria, then you’re a loser without any sort of life!

    *plays Price is Right losing horn*

    PS – And Redbook’s about right for these two. Neither one is barely relevant anymore. I’m surprised it wasn’t Family Circle. Redbook’s a step up.

    • Becky1 says:

      Yes! I thought that was an obnoxious comment, too. She is beyond annoying. I guess she didn’t have a “real life” when she was in her 20’s and won an Oscar LOL. Please. This chick is a piece of work. I’m so sick of hearing her brag about her home life.

      • Bodhi says:

        She did NOT deserve that Oscar. I really liked Shakespeare in Love, but no way was she good enough for an Oscar… as her work since then proves…

  55. mrsjennyk says:

    Isn’t TA all of 4 feet tall? How is she the same height as her goopyness?

    LOL

    • tmbg says:

      Either Gwyneth is doing one of those Tim Conway comedy routines where she’s standing on her knees or Tracy is standing on a really big soap box.

      Probably the latter, since she likes to get on her fitness soap box quite often.

  56. tmbg says:

    I never thought I’d ask this, but CB, could you please give us a Brangelina article or something in place of Goop ones?

    Who knows what Angelina is really like, but at least she’s out DOING things to help people. She’s not sitting on her rear emailing newsletters while farting out unicorn glitter, giving fitness advice and pimping $500 sweaters.

  57. Kat says:

    To balance out a thicker core and bust she recs “fast-moving arm exercises”…what the hell would that even be?

  58. Mandy says:

    These b!tches. *rolls eyes*

  59. kennyggallin says:

    “Too much beige, too much boring, and too much camel toe for 1 cover” -Michael K. Seriously, bitch needs to check her leather pants.

  60. poppy says:

    goop is a special sort of sorority. the one where they make you strip down to your bra & panties and then sharpie the areas you need to “work” on. one where they offer to share their drink with you and when you hand it back they say, “no thanks, i never drink after people”. the sorority where even after you’ve been initiated the hazing and belittlement never ends.
    goop sold her soul to satan. she wanted to stay relevant and that means groveling to the sub-soccer moms, the ones that don’t know about starbucks and double dip lattes; she’s got to go after the june shannons of honey booboo land. you know that grinds her gears. completely beneath her. they are so FAT! they don’t know what thread count refers to! they might not remember or care i dated brad pitt! brad pitt people!!!!
    cannot wait for the new cookbook out this spring. i bet there is another BLT recipe in there that involves owning a unicorn farm. she built that!
    when’s her next cleanse? isn’t it about that time of the year for goop poop?
    paltry is the gift that keeps giving.

  61. Jade says:

    Goop looks just like Janice from the Muppet Show! But Janice is not nearly as annoying!

  62. Mitch Buchanan Rocks! says:

    Add Kim Kardashian and Kate and you’d have the sister hood of the travelling zombies.

  63. snappyfish says:

    “She was like, ‘Oh, my God, wow, I just am so surprised, because you look so good in clothes. I wasn’t expecting this.”

    what a back- door brag.

  64. Laura says:

    Funny that she says to stop running to tone your butt…all the runners I know have amazing butts…