Ryan Lochte got his own E! reality show, ‘What Would Ryan Lochte Do?’

2012 might have been The Year of Lochte. Didn’t it seem like Ryan Lochte was everywhere last year, in both good and bad ways? First the sports media over-hyped the “competition” between Ryan and Michael Phelps. Then Lochte actually delivered (somewhat) at the Olympics, and after that, he went on a media blitz that ended up being better than the actual Olympics. Because as soon as the cameras got on Lochte, he couldn’t shut up, and the world found out that he’s perhaps the dumbest, most stupidly charming d-bag in the world. JEAH!!!

At the age of 28, Lochte doesn’t have that many years left as an Olympic athlete – personally, I doubt he’ll even try to make it onto the team for Rio 2016. So Ryan began feathering his Florida swamp-nest just days into the Olympics, setting up gigs and modeling jobs and acting jobs and talking about reality show appearances. That’s one thing I’ll give Lochte – he never overreached. He never aimed to do, like, Oscar-caliber movies. He never tried to convince us that he was a tortured artist in a swimmer’s body. Lochte’s ultimate goal was maybe a gig on The Bachelor, maybe a cameo on Entourage. He ended up doing guest spots on 30 Rock (as a “sex idiot,” because Tina Fey is awesome) and 90210 and he had a Funny or Die spoof video. So what does all of that amount to? A gig on The Bachelor, please?!! NOPE. Instead, E! gave him his own reality show where it sounds like cameras just followed him around as he did interviews after the Olympics:

Ryan Lochte is ready to get his feet wet in a whole way: Reality TV! As previously announced, the hunky Olympic gold medalist, 28, is set to be the star of his own show — and on Monday Jan. 7, E! Entertainment announced all the details of the show, entitled What Would Ryan Lochte Do?

Set to premiere on E! in April of this year, the six-episode show will follow the sexy, fun-loving swimmer in life following his superstar-making turn at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London.

“Watching this show, I believe people will fall into three categories: they want to be him, sleep with him or mother him,” E! Entertainment President Suzanne Kolb said in a press release.

On the series, the Gainesville, Florida native “hits the local club scene frequently, with an eye out for the right girl,” trains with coach Gregg Troy, shows off his 150-plus sneaker collection and a diamond-encrusted watch he helped designed, preps for the Rio Games in 2016, and builds his fashion line.

The show also introduces his mom (and his “life coach”) Ike, older sisters Kristen and Megan and younger brother (and best friend) Devon.

[From Us Weekly]

I don’t want to sleep with him (I used to, but not anymore). I don’t want to BE him. And I don’t want to mother him. This is what I want to do: I want to interview him. I want to ask him about complicated and not-so-complicated issues so I can watch his two little brain cells rub together furiously. That sounds nastier than I meant – I actually don’t think Lochte is, like, an evil guy. He’s dumb and sweet and kind of like a horny, overexcited puppy who piddles on the carpet.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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25 Responses to “Ryan Lochte got his own E! reality show, ‘What Would Ryan Lochte Do?’”

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  1. Ameila says:

    “He’s dumb and sweet and kind of like a horny, overexcited puppy who piddles on the carpet.”

    That needs to put in the dictionary as the definition of Lochte.

  2. Dimebox says:

    He is the epitome of a dumb jock, but at least he is making money while he still can. Retired ski and tennis Olympians and golf pros can have careers working at resorts giving lessons, but I have never heard of swimmers doing that. And his lack of communication skills (I am trying to put that kindly) will keep him from coaching or being an inspirational speaker. He is the male equivalent of the arm candy cliché…be seen and not heard.

  3. andrea says:

    Episode 1: What Would Ryan Lochte Do about his racist sister Megan? Hmmmm…

  4. ZigZagZoey says:

    I think for the promos they should say “Tune in to see if he really is as stupid as he seems….”

    And NO
    I do not want to be him, sleep with him or mother him.

  5. Az says:

    Whatever Ryan Lochte does rest assured it will not involve any rational thought or intelligence. However, it will involve copious amounts of douchebaggery.

  6. Obvious says:

    Honestly-I’d still hit it. As like a one night stand-or a quick fling. Not for the long haul.

    He’s adorable and I find him endearing oddly enough. he isn’t the brightest bulb in the room-but he seems harmless enough.

  7. Anonny says:

    What would he do without swimming is a better question. Probably deliver the morning newspaper, be a crossing guard, sweep streets (with a broom, not an actual vehicle). You know, a job where the requirements are minimal.

    The man has no societal value, and it’s depressing that this is what our society reveres.

  8. Helenny says:

    Funny, he actually looks a bit like Beau Mirchoff from Awkward. who is an armpit-sniffer. I figure it is actually something Ryan Lochte would do..

  9. MG says:

    He’s so dumb and dumb is never sexy.

  10. stellalovejoydiver says:

    I think he would make a great Christian Grey.

  11. midnightmoon says:

    Hmmm. Duct tape and handcuffs REQUIRED. Oh, and a blindfold for me. Maybe then…

  12. Viv says:

    puppy that piddles on the carpet? priceless!

  13. KellyinSeattle says:

    What’s with the red leather vest? Anyway, he’s a good looking guy but not that interesting, just another reality show. Better than , “What would Michael Phelps do?”, I guess.

  14. Joanna says:

    TBH, gainesville is a nothing town in Florida, so I can kinda understand him having fun and going wild. how stupid do they think we are,though, “hitting the club scene, with an eye out for the right girl.” right girl to bed for the night, that is.

  15. C Money says:

    What will he do? Hopefully go away. Sorry, Ryan you needed to stay in 2012. Do not Pass Go to 2013.