Has Gwyneth Paltrow deigned to life-coach douche-magnet Cameron Diaz?

A few years ago, I remember Jezebel had a piece comparing the way the American tabloids covered Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz. The point of the piece seemed to be to question the tabloid-assigned roles given to celebrities – like, Jennifer Aniston is always going to “poor Jennifer, the girl who gets dumped, needy and desperate and neurotic” while Cameron was always portrayed as the fun, vivacious party girl who sometimes drank too much and partied too hard, but she was always having a good time. I think it would be interesting to see how their tabloid identities have changed since then, because I tend to think Cameron has become “poor Cameron, always dating douches and drinking too much and she’s messing with her face too.” What happened to the fun party girl?

So, while I don’t think Cameron is a total lost cause – she’s not – there is still work to be done! If I was life-coaching Camy, I would tell her to stop messing with her face, get her wonky bolt-ons fixed (or maybe replaced with smaller implants), and most importantly, I would tell her to stop trying to get her rocks off with d-bags. But Camy hasn’t hired me to be her life-coach. Nope. She chose Gwyneth Paltrow. Of course!

CAMERON DIAZ has a new life coach – GWYNETH PALTROW.

Cameron’s been having a bit of a mid-life crisis since she turned 40, including all-night benders and a fling with P.DIDDY.

A source said: “Gwyneth’s sorted out everything from finances to hooking her up with her trainer. She has also forced her to swear off sex for a year, saying men distract her focus.”

[From The Sun]

Yeah, it’s The Sun and it’s probably/definitely BS, but Goop and Diaz are tight, and Gwyneth is just the kind of woman who life-coaches other people naturally. Condescension and judgment flow from Gwyneth like a river of diamond-encrusted water. Even if Goop isn’t technically Cameron’s life coach, you know Goop is still trying to “fix” Camy and make Camy more acceptable. It’s a Sisyphean task.

Also: there’s a minor story in this week’s Star Mag which I was going to lead with, but Goop’s rep just denied it flat-out. The rumor was that Gwyneth is “so sick of blockbusters and wants to focus more on TV” so she asked her dear friend Julian Fellowes to hook her up with a guest spot on the next season of Downton Abbey. Because OF COURSE! Thankfully, Goop’s rep told Rumor Fix the story is “false… She is not trying to get on Downton Abbey.” Thank God! Downton has enough problems without Dame Goop trying to out-snooty The Dowager Countess.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

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33 Responses to “Has Gwyneth Paltrow deigned to life-coach douche-magnet Cameron Diaz?”

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  1. Poink says:

    I hope not. Definition of ‘the blind leading the blind’.

  2. alons -y alonso says:

    Cameron NO! Step away from the Goopy Dementor!

    • V4Real says:

      This is probably just total BS. But if we are going to ride the rumor mill it could be the other way around if it was true. Cam could be life coaching Goop into learnig how to let loose a bit. Let’s not forget the rumors of Goops marriage going south and the rumor that she actually slept with her other friend (Beyonce) husband (JayZ).

  3. lucy2 says:

    Unless Cam is looking for an unhealthy obsession with food and detoxing, and a trainer who doesn’t know what she’s doing, she should probably go elsewhere.

  4. Saracen says:

    There was an amazing blind on Blind Gossip a few days ago that everyone guessed was Goop. I’ll tell you what it is but I don’t wanna spoil it for you guys. Hunt it down, read it, you won’t be disappointed

  5. Rhea says:

    Well…I don’t know, if it could make Diaz stop jumping to every douchebag out there it would do her good, I guess. :D

  6. T.C. says:

    They been friends for a long time. If GOOP was going to have Camy change her ways with dating douchebags it would have happened by now.

  7. Bored suburbanhousewife says:

    In terms of interfering and managing others, one cannot help but think of her role as Emma Woodhouse. How little “acting” must have been required!

    But I must say she could coach greasy dirtscag KStew on how to rock jeans & a tee shirt in an airport without looking like a homeless person.

  8. Ms Kay says:

    Cam : Let’s have Tequilaaaaa! \o/

    Goop : *gasps* No no no no! Here have some tea made with endangered herbs coming from Himalayan monks whose gardens are hidden in the Mayan temple of Cuzco.

    Cam : .__.

    Goop : then we shall go for a run whilst wearing those special helmets, you can breathe purified Norwegian fjord air.

    Cam : er… can we go surfing instead? That’s good too right?

    Goop : Sure!

    Cam : YAY!!! \o/ let’s g-

    Goop : Only in that specific area *points on map* we can surf in purified water imported by Antarctica penguins and the surf boards are made of knitted bamboo from the Chinese mountains of the last emperor secret chamber.

    Cam : …

    Goop : I also have special surf outfits made by Icelandic polar bears… Cam?

    [Empty Room]

  9. Lulu says:

    Dang I wish I could be that thin yet still not look bony. I just don’t have the build for it.

    • c'est la vie says:

      She does look bony and it’s beyond aging, just take a look at her neck and her face.

      That trainer of hers is giving out some classic eating disorder advice – don’t eat, purge and then work out as much as you can. I’m surprised that no reputable ED doctor hasn’t called her out yet.

      And Cam doesn’t need the Goop’s kind of cleanup – in fact, it will never stick. And haven’t they been friends for a while anyway?

  10. AlbC says:

    “Goop wants to save Cameron from the douches”, wait, but isn’t she married to the singer from Coldplay?

  11. Zigggy says:

    Has Cameron been messing with her face? I thought she was the only star with wrinkles, but I haven’t been paying attention lately.

  12. LL says:

    Any cool points Cameron ever had have been vanquished through her association with GOOPy.

  13. LAK says:

    There is such a thing as overtraining and sadly, looking at the state of GOOP’s arms, she’s reached it.

    She has that hollow in the middle of your bicep thing going on that Madge used to have when she was being trained by Tracy.

    Stringy or as Guy called it, gristle.

    And her face in that top picture [not so evident in the airport pictures] has achieved the dried look of someone who spends too much time in the sun except with GOOP it’s a lack of nutrients and oily foods that have caused her skin to look like that.

    ….but on a different note, i want that black dress. GOOP is rocking it.

  14. Paige says:

    Gwyneth looks beautiful in the white dress. Fabulous legs!!!

  15. Kelly says:

    I really hope this is not true. Why anyone would ask GP for advice on anything is beyond me.

  16. KC says:

    These two people are both insufferable.

  17. s says:

    goop’s legs are epic. but besides that I wish she would just disappear.

  18. G says:

    She’s been life coaching us all for years via her newsletter so I believe this. Next up see Cam with a Brit (maybe Rob Pattinson or Hot Harry?!). About the blind… they’re all weird and after seeing Chris frantically hump Jay after their NYE duet (look at the clip again) maybe they’re all swingers!

  19. Sue says:

    Love Cameron in the pink jumpsuit! Understated elegance. Envy!