Jerry Seinfeld: Other people’s kids never look quite right

Jerry Seinfeld was on David Letterman Friday doing his schtick from the other side of the desk. He told some funny jokes that made me laugh but he came off as a smug jerk. You could tell they’d set it up ahead of time and Letterman was the straight man who helped Seinfeld move on to the next topic. Maybe I’m just unable to appreciate his humor after he responded to pretty compelling allegations that his wife plaigiarized another woman’s book by calling the other author names during his last appearance on the Late Show.

Seinfeld’s jokes were sort-of funny in that dry kind of way of his. I never got his sitcom when it was on and found it kind of useless and repetitive. They seemed to hardly vary the formula on that show, but I have friends who loved it and found it very funny.

Some of my favorite memories with my four year-old son are of kid’s parties. My son has his little friends he looks forward to seeing and he talks about them all the time. Seinfeld doesn’t agree. In his seated monologue on Seinfeld he called other people’s children funny-looking and mocked the concept of children that age having friends. It was just a joke, but it seems to be rooted in whatever reality is for the 54 year-old comic who owns every Porsche that’s ever been made:

“I go to [kids parties.] I hate every single one of them.

“Do you find that other people’s kids – they never look quite right? You ask your wife. Is his head supposed to be that way?

“I hate everything about kids birthday parties. They don’t know that these are their friends, they don’t know what’s going on.”

At least Seinfeld is going to these things with his kids and isn’t passing this kids off to a nanny or his wife to take them everywhere. Is he a curmudgeon dad who enjoys it despite himself or is he just going to these events to get material for these skits?

Seinfeld and his wife Jessica have three children, daughter Sascha, eight, and sons Julian Kal, five and a half, and Shepherd Kellen, three. Jerry and Jessica first met at a sports club in NY. Jessica was newly-married and working in public relations at the time. She quickly got a divorce and married Jerry in 1999.

Thanks to the Huffington Post for featuring this video.

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29 Responses to “Jerry Seinfeld: Other people’s kids never look quite right”

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  1. Sylvia says:

    I saw Seinfeld when he came out in Letterman making those comments about the other author. Didn’t think highly of what he said and now he is saying that it was all a joke. I didn’t see it as a joke.

  2. brianne says:

    Meh, Jerry Seinfeld makes a career out of complaining, and yet he has everything in the world to be greatful for. I just don’t get it, but whatevs

  3. angela white says:

    sorry – i HATE kids birthday parties too – …but he shouldnt talk about otherr folks kids…altho im sure it was just for laughs.

  4. Holly says:

    Ugh, whatever. The second portion, about the kids not knowing what’s going on, is just recycled material from other comics. The first portion, his “inane” observation, hardly wanders from his modus operandi, and its tired. I love Seinfeld, the show. I hate Seinfeld, the man. I think that as acerbic as he comes off in public, he’s even worse in private. I get the feeling he actually believes every nasty thing he says.

  5. Michele says:

    Talened? Certainly.
    But also smug, arrogant, entitled, self-absorbed and elitist. Annoying prick.

    Seinfeld was good. But Curb Your Enthusiasm lets you know Larry David is the real genius.

  6. A.J. says:

    He and his wife are both royal a-holes.

  7. Gigohead says:

    Uhmm…I don’t think Jerry’s kids are all that either.

    I will have to not invite the Seinfield’s next time.

  8. tooey says:

    Um, I think you can totally hate kids’ birthday parties, even your own kid’s, maybe *especially* your own kid’s, but still not trade it for anything on earth and still be a good parent. And I’ve certainly looked at kids my kid calls friends and wondered what the f*ck is wrong with them (and mine) and what possible basis they could have for being friends. I’m happy that as my kid has gotten older we don’t go to as many birthday parties and the ones we throw are now at places where “staff” takes care of the details and I get to sit back and write the check.

  9. NotBlonde says:

    He seems like a total prick but kids’ birthdays are a nightmare waiting to happen. I remember being a child and every single party I went to, someone got injured or insulted and started crying. Every single one. My mom said she hated taking me to those silly parties as well-especially elementary school parties. Every kid from the class is there of course-even the kids who hate each other. But they don’t understand yet how you are supposed to get along at functions so the kids will berate the nerdy one or injure him/her.

    Bounce houses (moon bounces) are hellish. You never wants one of those at a party either because like he said, someone always gets hurt.

    BUT my mom always said that she wouldn’t trade those experiences for all the money in the world because she’d rather have me throw up in the car to Disneyland than drive a Porsche to Disneyland by herself.

  10. vdantev says:

    Who has kids today… who are these people ?

  11. Nova says:

    Ugh…Seinfeld needs to just shut up. Always hated his humor…hated his show…

    You do NOT talk like that about people’s kids. If its a kid’s party and you don’t like it….don’t go. It’s not a party meant for you anyway.

    He’s such a prick.

    Hey Jerry…lets see pictures of you as a kid. Can’t imagine they are very flattering.

  12. aleach says:

    haha im pretty sure he was just being comedic.
    he is a comedien after all…
    but sorry to say, i have to agree.
    i pretty much dislike other people’s kids (for the most part) and of course mine is the cutest one on earth…

  13. Jackie says:

    Back in the dark ages of 1988, I saw Jerry Seinfeld for free when he came to my college. He wasn’t funny at all. Flash forward a few years later, and he’s got a show. My friend who attended the concert with me was confused, as was I. Outside of scripts, I don’t find him entertaining at all.

  14. anastasiabeaverhausen says:

    He’s such an idiot. Of course they know who their friends are. And what does he think happens as the kids get older? Their friends become EXTREMELY important to them. It’s when they’re young that they develop “social skills” Jerry. Look it up.

    Gah. He’s insufferable anymore. Not funny. And how cool of him to make fun of the looks of little kids. What a challenging comedic concept. (Rolling eyes)

  15. Stacey says:

    Yes, he is wrong for talking about other folk’s kids. Since he is a celebrity, people will be upset. However, there are some unattractive kids out and about. My friend and some of my coworkers feel the same way. I could be at a birthday party, walking down the street, in the mall, etc.. And I will say, “Isn’t she cute”? And my friend will respond and say “No, are you blind”. Look at her head or what is wrong with her eyes, etc.. Or sometimes she doesn’t respond at all which means the child is either tooo ugly to comment on or she doesn’t want to embarass herself.

  16. jaclyn says:

    I love Seinfeld and his show. :)
    And he never actually has ever started a joke off with “What’s the deal with…?” people just love to say that he does for some reason!

  17. Rosy says:

    I don’t think the kid’s party joke was a big deal. However, I thought it was disgusting when he ragged on the cookbook author during his last appearance. The woman handled herself with dignity and I couldn’t understand why he was being such an a$$.

    Loved his show, but Larry David was the genius behind it. Seinfeld was basically the straight man for the funnier costars.

  18. aleach says:

    what did he say about the author of the cookbook??
    i missed that!!!

  19. Aspen says:

    I’ve seen both of those cookbooks, and the first author had every right to be incensed. It’s CREEPY how much his wife’s book is a ripoff of the other author’s. I know that they’ve been through it and legally there’s been nothing they can prove against Mrs. Seinfeld…but calling this other woman names is just mean.

  20. Leandra says:

    I was glad to see the last of the kids’ birthday parties – hated them! I saw him on Letterman – the bit about the cookies was hilarious….relax – he’s a comedian…they are “on” all the time…chill – you don’t need to take it seriously.

  21. Leandra says:

    Oh – about the bounce houses. There is a man in my neighborhood who is now a quadrapalegic. Him and his wife got one of those bounch houses for their daughter’s 4th birthday party a couple of years ago. He went in and was bouncing, landed the wrong way and broke his neck. He was 31 at the time.

  22. CB Rawks says:

    Oh my GOD. He was joking.
    It’s like, your own kid could have a head like a bowling ball, but to you he would be perfect. You would only notice the bowling ball noggin on another kid. I think he was just saying that to HIM his own kids are perfect.
    And that’s totally normal from what I’ve seen. I’ve heard parents go on in that same way before. They seem to compare eachother’s kids and are oblivious to anything imperfect about their own.

    Some of you seem to have gigantic painful sticks lodged up there.

  23. Codzilla says:

    Stacey: I’m admittedly a catty bitch at times, but even I don’t go around pointing out “ugly” children. That’s just incredibly cruel and frankly, disgraceful.

    Btw, I’m not talking about Jerry’s schtick, only Stacey’s little tale of singling out kids she doesn’t feel are cute enough to get a pass.

  24. Mandy says:

    I recently ran into a girl I went to high school with who insisted on showing me pictures of her son, and I swear, this kid looked exactly like Gollum from “The Lord of the Rings.” And I had to stand there and pretend that I wasn’t horrified.

    The only thing worse than people who insist on sharing those pics are pregnant women who force you to look at their ultrasounds. Like “magic eye” puzzles, I can never see anything, but I always pretend that I can, just so they’ll change the subject.

  25. Rosebudd says:

    I missed Jerry dissing the author. If I read correctly tho, her book wasn’t even out yet for Jessica to copy/steal from. He is at least pretty clean cut & doesn’t need to swear every other word. He tends to make simple observations (quite simple) & to me are hysterical for that reason alone. Everyone thought Richard prior to be a genious & I ask why? Just same old nasty stories timen & again. Jerry does say some pretty funny things that we may think but not say out loud. It is my understanding that he is a truly devoted father/husband totally in love w/ his family & every minute w/ them. It’s just material for his appearances. period. Granted, being a billionare has gone to his head a bit. I do think that even mentioning the other author AT ALL was in poor taste. FYI all, cooking the veggies the way his wife does & refrigerate/freeze to be cooked again in the kiddies’ fav. foods, have basically no nutritional value at all. All of the vitamins have been cooked out by that point, but kudos to them for trying/cooking and being hands-on parents.

  26. Bobby the K says:


    I always thought his show was way over-rated. Yes, he can be funny. But there are lots of people who are just as funny if not more so.

  27. Ling says:

    I thought it was hilarious. Kids’ parties are really quite absurd. They’re entirely for the parents’ benefit – for the benefit of the photo album, that is. He is an ass, but everyone’s secretly an ass anyways. “D’ya ever notice how everyone’s an ass?” And he’s totally right! Other people’s kids never do look right! Your kids are perfect examples of children, the poster child for childhood, and every other kid is less than perfect and smells funny.

    And I liked Seinfeld. A lot. Still do.

  28. Ally says:

    The thing with the author suing them is that she was going to let the plagiarism issue go. Journalists had come to her and asked her about it and she had just shrugged it off and wasn’t going to sue.

    Rather than being grateful and humble, multimillionaire egomaniac Jerry Seinfeld went on Letterman and implied she was some kind of irrational maniac. So then she sued him for plagiarism AND defamation.

    So he earned that lawsuit well and truly. Hope she wins.

  29. Seinfeld says:

    Although Seinfeld’s show was undeniably awesome, Seinfeld appears to come off as the kind of person that knows this all to well.

    The comment about other peoples children is just rude.. plus, he himself can’t really talk about odd looking (:P).

    Either way, you can’t take away the fact that his show was great. Doesn’t make him great though.