Rihanna talks Chris Brown: ‘I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash’

Rihanna covers the new issue of Rolling Stone in a piece RS has titled “Crazy In Love”. For real – this crap is “crazy”. Over the past few months, I’ve tried to go easy on Rihanna because yelling at her isn’t going to change anything. She’s the kind of woman who thrives when she feels like “the world is against her.” So you can yell all you want about Rihanna getting back with Chris Brown, but I just feel like… it’s not going to change anything. I guess I should also acknowledge that while I continue to flat-out hate Chris Brown, I’ve grown to dislike Rihanna too. It’s not a comparison – Chris will always be so much worse. But I wish Rihanna was… I don’t know… stronger? I wish she made smarter life decisions. I wish that Rolling Stone covers stopped the cycle of abuse. I wish I believed that Chris Brown really has changed. Instead, I just think Rihanna’s statements in this interview will be used against her the next time Chris tries to kill her. Some highlights from the interview:

Rihanna has opened up like never before about getting back together with her ex-boyfriend, Chris Brown, and what it means for her public image.

“I decided it was more important for me to be happy,” she tells contributing editor Josh Eells in the new issue of Rolling Stone, out Friday, January 31st. “I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake. After being tormented for so many years, being angry and dark, I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash. I can handle it.”

The couple’s public reconciliation comes less than four years since Brown assaulted Rihanna the night before the 2009 Grammy Awards. Brown plead guilty to assault and performed community service, but he remains on probation.

“When you add up the pieces from the outside, it’s not the cutest puzzle in the world,” Rihanna says. “You see us walking somewhere, driving somewhere, in the studio, in the club, and you think you know. But it’s different now. We don’t have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about shit. We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don’t want to lose that.”

And Rihanna says that if Brown were ever to display a hint of his past behavior towards her, she is ready to walk.

“He doesn’t have the luxury of f–king up again,” she says. “That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will ever go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in the knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”

On being mad at Chris Brown for a really long time: “I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me. To feel the consequences of that. So when that (stuff) came back it hit me like a ton of bricks. Like, God, you’ve got to be kidding right now. But I got real with myself, and I just couldn’t bury the way I felt.”

[From Rolling Stone & Just Jared]

Ugh. Do you really think Chris Brown feels like he doesn’t have the “luxury of f—king up again”? Because it feels like Chris doesn’t give a crap about what is and is not a luxury. Keep in mind that this interview was probably done several weeks ago – perhaps back when Rihanna rushed to Paris to keep her eye on Chris and he spent his time between Rihanna’s hotel and the Karreuche Tran’s hotel on the other side of town? Or how about all of the times he and Karrueche have been seen out together in the past few months? It doesn’t feel like Chris values his relationship with Rihanna at all – it feels like he’s playing Rihanna and Karrueche against each other for his affection. Classic abuser.

Cover courtesy of Rolling Stone, additional images courtesy of PCN & Fame/Flynet.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

95 Responses to “Rihanna talks Chris Brown: ‘I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash’”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Gabby says:

    If I had a boyfriend who had beat my face to a pulp and then crawled back to him later… I would feel so ashamed of myself. Idk if I see it as a sign of incredible stupidity or weakness. I am so so sick of these individuals. Something bad will become of this, something worse than their images being ruined. How do they still have fans?? All I can think is that someday CB is going to accidentally kill somebody.

    • Trek Girl says:

      There are plenty of actors, actresses, musicians, and artists of all kinds who kept and gained fans despite horrible behavior and crimes. It’s no surprise that he still has his fans.

      Besides, he’s still a good singer/rapper. I’m sure that has something to do with his fan base sticking around.

      • Kim says:

        I’d sound like a good singer too if someone auto-tuned every word I sang. And please don’t call that tool a rapper. He wouldn’t know a rapper if one drove by and shot him in the head.

      • Trek Girl says:

        @Kim: He may be autotuned a lot, but he’s still a talented singer. That may not be something you agree with, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. Also, he raps and he gets paid for it — he’s a rapper. Yet another fact that is not based on your opinion.

        I will continue to say he is a talented singer and call him a rapper, because, despite what he’s done, he is still both of those things — okay?

        I don’t hate the guy, but I’m not really a fan. I enjoy some of his songs and collaborations, but don’t know much of his work, so my comments aren’t coming from blind adoration or anything close to it, just so you know.

      • Trashaddict says:

        For every Chris Brown out there, there are at least 10 talented singers/rappers, and let’s hope at least maybe 3 of them aren’t assholes. Give them a shot at success. If people keep fawning over people like this and buying their product, they are endorsing crappy behavior. Well, you get what you pay for.

    • Liv says:

      Problem was she was more ashamed of herself than of him. I can’t believe that she’s talking now like they are a couple. Excuse me, but there seems to be another girl in this relationship.

    • annaloo. says:

      I HATE that she’s with him. I totally do. But she is a grown up and she is right: her decision are her own. At least she’s taking ownership of that, for whatever it is worth. Ultimately, any decision a woman makes, the most respect we can show her (even if her man doesn’t) is to let her live by them.

      • Amelia says:

        Yeah, her decisions are hers. And my decisions are mine…I can’t hardly listen to either of their music anymore. She can decide to set a horrible example for her young fans of what to do when your boyfriend abuses you, and I can decide to stop buying the music. So done.

      • annaloo. says:

        Totally, Amelia. I would have liked to see her make different decisions, but if a person insists on staying on a sinking boat — after numerous warnings and efforts to help — there’s not much you can do. Again, at least she’s taking ownership of her bad decisions, unike a certain red-headed, slug-lipped actress we know (Lohan *cough*)

      • Cathi says:

        God stop giving these idiots attention- she wants the freedom to get her ass beat, let her have it. Stop giving these stupid assholes so much attention! Who cares- they’re both lost causes

  2. Ms Kay says:

    “We talk about shit. We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don’t want to lose that.”

    *sobbing from laughter*

    “I wanted him to know what it felt like to lose me. To feel the consequences of that.”

    You mean like writing endless songs about him, crying on Oprah how much you still love him, desperately tried to get him back by any means with not so subtle tweets and other provocating Karrueche and get entangled in a messy triangle, probably sending him private naked pics with a “TAKE ME BAAACK PLEASE!” message written on it? Oh yeah..

  3. Dawn says:

    I wonder if she will still want to “live her truth” when she is no longer in demand and going broke? Wonder if the bruises and split lips will be worth it then? This will be her lifelong demon I am afraid. Bad boys who beat and belittle her until she can’t take it anymore and does a Tina Turner and figures out they just aren’t worth it if she is lucky or she may just end up dead livin that truth of hers.

  4. Abra says:

    Doesn’t have the luxury of f-cking up again?

    It’s not a luxury to beat a woman.

    Ugh! The new Bobby and Whitney.

  5. Riana says:

    I say this a lot to myself when I read certain posts on people. “Parents be careful what you do to or around your children.” Because you can phuck them up for life.

    I think of that when I look at Rihanna, Lindsey…Kim…etc.

    Once you’re phucked up in your brain the odds are just so slim you ever come out from it. If you’re screwed up internally and have no self-awareness then you don’t come out from it.

    Rihanna watched her Mom be abused so she accepts abuse. Her own family doesn’t hate Chris for re-arranging her face (she has a small scar visible in photos to this day) so why would she hate him? The cheating…abuse…it’s normal to her.

    I think she’s right to a point. I don’t think Chris will risk his fragile career by beating the hell out of her again. He knows he’s on a tightrope and abusing visibly the same woman twice would be too much for the media. That being said I can also believe he’ll eventually get so mad he can’t stop himself and frankly…I’m worried for what he’ll do to her then.

    • V4Real says:

      I totally agree with you about Rihanna accepting the abuse b/c that’s what she grew up around. Chris also grew up around his stepfather abusing his mother. It’s like they are both continuing the pattern.

      I don’t want to say that they both think that this is acceptable behavior. I’m not a psychologist and don’t know anything about their mental state of being.

      CB has become one of the most hated celebs on this site (understandably) b/c of his failure to man up and say what he did was wrong and take that responsibility. Instead he chose to act like a wanna be thug. I remember when he first burst onto the scene, he was very likeable. Things didn’t go south until the heinous act he committed on Rihanna. As much as I don’t like Chris, his actions doesn’t negate from his talent. It’s like with Mel Gibson, most people dispise him but the man is a talented actor/director.

      As for Rihanna and Chris getting back together, I’m over it. It’s her life and if that’s what she wants to do, she will have to live with the consequences if he ever put his hands on her again. There are many male celebs that have abused their wives/girlfriends but with CB/Riri we were able to see the repercussions of the attack and that image of her face is forever burned into our minds.

      People forgive for their own reasons. I remember seeing on the news a few months ago where this married couple forgave their son-in-law for killing their daughter in a fit of rage. I’m like really! He killed your child and you forgave him and even visits him in prison. Those people are better than me b/c that’s unacceptable.

      Maybe there is some truth to the rumors that she used to give just as much as she took from him. People were saying that there were times when Rihanna would actually attack Chris. That doesn’t excuse him putting his hands on a woman b/c we know in general men are stronger than women. But it doesn’t excuse a woman hitting a man either.

      Well good luck to them both.

      • Kim says:

        My skin crawls every time someone calls this POS talented. What, exactly, is he soo talented at? Every song I’ve ever heard by him is auto-tuned teenybopper bubblegum crap. Anyone can (and does!) churn that garbage out. So, what else is he talented at? Punching? Putting his foot in his mouth? Pretending to be retarded? Getting ugly tattoos? Please, enlighten me.

      • anon33 says:

        V4Real, I am not arguing with you per se, but with this whole idea of “RIhanna gave as good as she got.”

        I am a domestic abuse survivor. I lived with a psycho who beat and raped me for five years.

        Previous to my dating him, I was not a violent person and never would have dreamed of attacking anyone.

        However, after about three years of being beaten down by him, and raped constantly, I turned violent. I turned angry. I started slapping the shit out of him, pushing him, etc. This is because THIS IS WHAT HE TAUGHT ME WAS ACCEPTABLE IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. I had never once attacked or hit ANYONE before that. Not once. Not even my little sister or something else that would maybe make sense.

        Of course, I do not know for certain that Rihanna wasnt a violent person before. All I know is that that relationship nearly ruined me, and even though it’s ben fifteen YEARS since it ended, I still struggle TO THIS DAY with violent tendencies. And I have to remind myself EVERY DAY when those tendencies rise up in me that I’m not in a situation where I’m fighting for my life anymore.

        PTSD is serious, and it is complex. We desperately need better education and even better treatment. Half the the abused women I know have been diagnosed as bipolar when they are NOT bipolar, never exhibited any type of mental health issues or “bipolarity” until they found themselves in an abusive situation.

        They have PTSD. It’s not the same. RIhanna has it right now, hardcore. I was in the exact same situation-my ex had all these chicks on the side that he was fooling around with, and I was in total denial. I used to teh same shit to my friends-”this is my decision” etc. I used to tell myself the EXACT SAME bullshit about my ex-”oh were doing good now” “Oh it wont happen again” “he knows better now.”

        Um, until he did it again. Sometimes it was three, six, or even nine months until he did it again, but he ALWAYS did it again. Shit brown will too. Just wait.

      • V4Real says:

        So sorry for what happen to you but if you are understanding my comment correctly you will see that it’s not my idea. I’m not saying she gave as good as she got, I said others said it. I also followed it with it doesn’t matter if she attacked him b/c a man in general is stronger than a woman. Maybe from the get go they had a volitile relationship, we don’t know.

        @Kim I said in my post I don’t like Chris but I don’t care how much of a POS you call him; the boy has talent. If CB wasn’t the CB we now know we wouldn’t be discussing his talents; he would be looped in with people like Usher and Trey Songz who are also very talented. A lot of singers use autotunes so that’s not a valid argument for no talent. Sorry, it’s becoming the norm. When Chris first came onto the scene he was not using autotunes. I’m not going to argue with you over his talents because I also have my opinions about singers who I think are not talented like Bieber. But if we are going to call people who have gifts untalented let’s first see if we can get up there and dance the way CB does, his voice maybe autotune but he can’t fake those moves. My problem with Chris is his behavior and his lack of sincereity for what he has done and continue to do. In my opinion OJ was a murderer but he was still a talented FB player.

  6. Anti-Hippo says:

    At the end of the day, it is her life. While I think it is a stupid decision to return to someone who has abused you (Physically or emotionally), I also empathize with people who follow their ‘heart’ consequences be damned. I think it is a sign of weakness but empathize nonetheless. I am more rational and would personally never continue hanging out with anyone, friend or lover who has abused me but Millions of everyday women go back to their abusers….still have not gotten any convincing argument for why I should not like Rihanna in spite of her inane decision making.

  7. SmokeyBlues says:

    As an uninvolved spectator of this relationship, I just am baffled as to what she sees in him that makes any of this worth it. To me he is an ugly, angry, childish person who has the potential to be dangerous.

  8. hey u says:

    Nope the interview was likely last week.. Cos she did the photoshoot for this cover last week and was posting pics while on set.

  9. Sunnyjyl says:

    I hope she has some rock solid guardian angels.

  10. Jaded says:

    Well then her truth must be that she’s attracted to men who treat her badly. First her father, now CB. What goes around comes around – both of these useless wastes of air seem to have some very serious behavioural issues that won’t play out well in the long run.

  11. Tessa says:

    She loves him. So many abused women only love their abuser. It’s deeply psychological. She’s one screwed up chicky. I’m praying for her.

  12. Sarah Rose says:

    HAHAHAHAHA! *wipes tears away*

    Look. I’ve been there, “RiRi”. But as self loathing, immature, and awful as it is to forgive him for BEATING you- he’s still playing you, and still a violent d-bag. Walk away.

  13. Vivian says:

    It is so very clear that she is still very much a victim here: totally under his control. The words she uses are classic excuses: defending him/them, they have to protect each other and no one understands. Sad that no matter any advice or signs/evidence from anyone is going to convince her until he abuses or hits her again. So many victims care/love their abusers more than themselves. It will take something major to truly wake her up to the point where she can see the truth. It is hard to like her defending him and yes, can’t even listen to her music now; I won’t support anything link to CB and what he stands for.

  14. truetalk says:

    This is such a waste of good loving on Rihanna’s part it’s not even laughable.

  15. MsAubra says:

    ha!!! FINALLY! It’s about time she say something that makes her accountable for her decisions instead of battling with people as if they’re not going to comment on her attention seeking antics on social media!

  16. handsome man saved me from the monsters says:

    And yet somehow, I just can’t seem to care

    • glorai brown says:

      It sickens me that all Rihanna ever blames is herself. Be mature Rihanna, he is to blame. I also hate the fact that this guy beat this woman to a pulp and her mouth was filled with blood, he beat her hard, they say that the blood splattered around in the car…you saw her face it was pummeled a couple times that it swelled up and blood was coming from her mouth….yet, we need to stop putting these two people on a high mountain that we look up, stop buying their records and worshiping them because it is not okay for my 12 year old daughter to idolize a man beating up a woman…Rihanna you are a sad excuse for a black woman or any woman period. He also cheats with you and other woman…Do you mean to tell me that the love is so great that he almost killed you, filled your mouth up with blood and yet you have come back form more…You disgust me Rihanna and I blame you for going back..If my daughter buys any or your albums consider them thrown in the garbage as we the consumers have to draw the line…they both disgust me.

  17. Micki says:

    Excellent girl!
    Please, tattoo your words on your stupid forehead and read it every single morning and when the bruises are healed. You’re fine with the backlash because you have not one shit ounce of self-respect.

  18. aims says:

    I had her back, because she was in an abusive relationship. I now am in total agreement that she thrives on drama. She feels like the backlash is like , romeo and juliet. Us vs the world thinking. Im losing my sympathy towards her. Chris is your classic abuser. Controlling, smooth talker, charming as hell, I’m sure. She’s an adult, she needs to start acting like one. The whole thing is exhusting, and honestly, I really done with her.

  19. loira says:

    She is so pretty and her songs are catchy, she has come from being poor, to being uccessful. What a shame that she is f***ed up in the brain and in her personal life.
    Victims find her abusers and viceversa. It is called codependency, and it takes A LOT to overcome it sometimes. she ir probably surrounded by yes people, so she is living her own love fantasy.
    Who knows if she will see the truth sometime.

  20. mel2 says:

    My niece is in a similar situation but no physical abuse just mental. Her scumbag boyfriend asked her to move out. Now he wants her back. I pray she does not move back in with him and that they dont get married.

  21. Hautie says:

    The man does not love you, when he puts a couple lumps on your forehead. I don’t care how much he was not hugged as a child. This is not a decent man with a conscience. There is no “fixing” him.

    A man puts his fist on you… and beats the hell out of you. And has no remorse about it. Is a man that will kill you the next time.

  22. Tiffany27 says:

    I straight up am out of words. I hope one day she sees the light and I hope one day he gets help. They both need help actually.

  23. GossipG says:

    ‘he doesnt have the credit to F up again’?hahahahah, silly chicken

  24. epiphany says:

    Apparently, to ‘live her truth’ she needs to walk around in public in see-thru tops.
    What a deep and profound philosophy.

    • Tapioca says:

      Unfortunately “her truth” is that she craves (media & public) attention and, like a tantruming toddler, doesn’t care whether it’s positive or negative.

      It also doesn’t help that her management don’t seem to care much about her longevity, mental and physical health either – hence the rush-release of album after album and the crazy touring schedule to squeeze out every last cent before Chris Brown or the Li-Lo lifestyle finally win her that coveted Darwin Award.

    • KellyinSeattle says:

      I know, huh?! She always tries to be so philosophical that it’s laughable. She’s going to ruin her career buy being annoying and overexposed. Some people can be overexposed and actually still liked, but some , it’s just annoying.

  25. ladybert62 says:

    I have said it before and I will say it again – the girl has seriously bad self esteem – she needs some psychological counseling – but she is in denial.

    Hopefully, the next time he beats her up (and there will be a next time), she will see the light (if she lives through it).

  26. MonicaQ says:

    “Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake.”

    Well, remember that the next time you’re crying on national TV. I watched my mom be abused for *years* and was too young to do anything about it. Luckily my husband is a teddy bear/not like that but once we started getting serious I said, “Put your hands on me and I walk.”

    I don’t get it. I really just don’t. It went from “fuck love” (on the O. interview) to “he’s changed”. Ugh. Good luck with that considering this is the dude that’s still punching out windows and fighting dudes over parking spaces.

  27. confession says:

    I’m in a shitty cycle of emotional bull$hit relationship. It is in no way physically abusive and there aren’t other women, but it is toxic in all other ways.

    I get exactly what she is saying. I want out of this cycle but at the same time I want this man to be the person I am with. He is the father of my children, we are married. Phucked up and all. I have “ended” things time and time again, I know what it is to want him to miss me and think that it will work. (it doesn’t)I am fully aware of the price I am paying to be with him.

    I loathe the fact that I am behaving in exactly the same way as Rhi. But I honestly don’t have it in me to make it stop right now. Maybe one day I will.

    • Vivian says:

      Hugs. It’s not easy but if it it gets so bad, please think about your children. Trust me when I tell you that they will be impacted by your toxic relationship. Just as others have posted, you are setting an example for your children: they will think it is acceptable to be treated as such and that it is normal when it isn’t; worst you are potentially preventing them from understanding Or seeking out the good relationships they deserve. I understand you wanted to share how you can relate to Rihanna’s feelings. I also wanted to share coming from a child of a toxic marriage between my parents. It took me a some time to realize that I did not have to be like my parents but to this day, they have influence my ability to trust. All the best to you.

    • loira says:

      As a child of a disfunctional relationship, I can tell you there will be scars in your children. The trauma affects each person/child differently, but there will be.
      My older sister is… a little off with her insecurities, my brother wanted out off home and never even return to visit and share time bringng his children, not even with his sisters. Me, I was insecure and tried to fit the mold and be likeable, but ended up always hurt, until I finally became more assertive… after my 30s.
      I blamed a bit on my mother, who stayed with our alcoholic, verbaly abusive father (not a bad man, but he was addicted to gambling and drinking) she was in for the “sake of the children”… Se ws sucessful at work and meek at home. She had to learn that she had a voice. It took her too long and a lot of suffering, she thought that she was doing right, and it was not.
      Please, learn from other people’s mistakes and break the abuse cycle. everyone will be happier.

  28. Nanz01 says:

    Sad that she is willing to take a public beating, so to speak, for him. Rihanna is still caught in the abuse cycle. I sincerely hope she lives through it if she’s determined to be with him.

  29. shewolf says:

    I really dont want to defend either one of these kids but she has a fair point. I think she made a big revelation when she said “We dont fight like that anymore.” I think they both beat the crap out of each other. I dont really see their previous relationship where she was just being beat on innocently. When you raise your hands to someone you might just get hit back. That doesnt make it right but there is more to the situation here than CB being a woman beater. Which he is.

    I think they are equally unhealthy individuals who are both guilty of the same thing and THIS is why she cant see the severity of what happened. The fact that she said they realised this shows some sort of promise but honestly… its bullshiz… but like she said, thats her bullshiz to deal with.

    Really sad situation.

    • Poink says:

      I do remember reading somewhere that she has a history of being physically violent, so I think you may be right about them beating on one another. That definitely doesn’t excuse his actions – violence is always wrong – I agree with you.

      • crumbcake says:

        I have a law enforcement background and can honestly say that in some cases of domestic violence, it’s a two way street. Wife/girlfriend abuses husband/boyfriend, husband/boyfriend abuses wife/girlfriend. I’m not saying that’s the case 100% of the time, but it’s not uncommon. Sometimes both parties take turns being the abuser or victim. It’s still dysfunctional and wrong, and I’m not saying that to take anything away from those who are always the victim of an abuser, because those cases definitely exist as well.
        I always had the policy with my husband that if he ever touched me in a violent way, I was out the door forever. I had a relationship during my early 20′s that was skittering on the edge of abuse–being grabbed roughly during disagreements, having the guy throw things in my direction when he was angry, punching walls, verbal diatribes against me with accusations of infidelity (I have NEVER cheated on anyone in my life), emotional head games to see what would “break” me down, etc. To me, that 18 months with him was a slow and painful lesson to learn, because when it was “good” it was so wonderful, as weird as that sounds. But I could never predict when the next outburst was going to come, and I felt like I was living with a time bomb. I hope all people who are in abusive relationships can realize that it’s wrong and that they deserve better. Unfortunately, I see every day at my job the people who are caught in the cycle and can’t or won’t get out.

  30. elceibeno08 says:

    Chris Brown may not be physically beating Rihanna (for the time being) but he is ‘destroying’ her self-esteem. I wished he had a networks of true friends who would tell her to dump him.

  31. crumbcake says:

    I work in a law enforcement office, and you eventually stop being amazed at how some people will stay with an abuser even though they call the police for help when the “love of their life” beats or chokes them within inches of their lives. The police come, take their reports, haul the abuser off to jail and then so many times, the victim decides that they don’t want to cooperate in making sure that the abuser gets sentenced by the judge (although the cases proceeds, with or without their help per the law in our state). We’ve had people who have been covered in bruises and other injuries tell the court that they don’t want their loved one to face the consequences of their actions, that the abuser has promised them that they will change (but they rarely do). And the police end up coming again, and again, and again. I even had one person call the office and tell me that she was terrified that her husband was going to kill her. I assumed that this was an estranged couple, so I asked her if she had gone to court to get a protection order, and she said (with a tone of surprise), “No, we’re still together, living together. . . but I think he might kill me so I thought you should know”. I advised that she have an officer come and take a report and she refused to do ANYTHING. She wouldn’t even speak with our domestic violence advocate. She just wanted to let me know that she might die at his hands. I told her there was NOTHING we could do to help her without her involving the police and she got very defensive and angry at me. Some people say they want help being protected from their abuser, but it seems to me like sometimes they aren’t willing to even help themselves. I guess it’s part of the cycle, but it’s sad and frustrating.
    I’m not sure what this all means for Rhianna, but I would not be surprised if CB someday snaps and beats her to a pulp again or pulls an OJ on her.

    • Chordy says:

      As a domestic violence survivor, I feel like your comment illustrates well how law enforcement is not equipped to deal with domestic violence as a whole, but simply to be there to save a life when they can or investigate a death when it occurs. Victim psychology is incredibly complicated, but it’s based in a deep sense of shame and fear and fear of shame. It’s humiliating to have officers in your home because the man you live with beat you so hard and loud the neighbors called the police. It’s also virtually impossible, fresh off that fear and typically with your abuser standing feet away, to process the big picture on how to make it end. When you live with an abuser, you don’t have the luxury of a “big picture.” You’re just trying to survive the day. Law enforcement officers tend to spend a lot of time rolling their eyes and ramping up the exasperation. I’m not blaming the officers. It’s got to be so frustrating watching these things happen while the only person who can do anything about it is too terrified and irrational to figure out how to save themselves, especially when it seems obvious to you. However, the obvious is a luxury you take for granted when you’re not living under an abuser’s thumb. I don’t have any answers here, I’m just trying to offer the other side of the coin. Law enforcement can only enforce the law as written, and my hat’s off to anyone who is willing to make the commitment to public service of that level. However, the law is not perfect and there are certainly gaping holes when it comes to protections for domestic violence. Not sure if those holes are cultural or legislative, but they exist. In my life, I finally left when I decided that he could put up or shut up on his threats to murder me if I left him. After some months of harassment that law enforcement could do nothing about, he got bored with me and moved onto a new victim, and the cycle started anew. It also took a lot of years and a lot of therapy to correct the psychological damage he did to me. I only lived in that system for 2 years, so I can’t even imagine what it would take to overcome a lifetime of it.

    • Chordy says:

      ps Sorry for the dissertation, and I wanted to also say thank you for your service! I was not meaning to speak against law enforcement, just to speak to its limitations, which is in no way the fault of the amazing men and women who take the oath to protect and serve us. I may not be alive today without them.

  32. Mirella says:

    I hope she sees the light before it’s too late.

  33. Zorbitor says:

    It would take a lifetime to know if he didn’t beat her again.

  34. florencia says:

    Off course he’s not in love.

  35. Dahlia Verlaine says:

    “I’d rather just live my truth and take SOME MORE PUNCHES…”

    Fixed it 4 you.

  36. Nicola says:

    I’m so against this relationship but we should frame and be careful in what we say. Working with young women who live with men who slap them around “occasionally”, it took me a while to get it.

    Rihanna loves her father, she has forgiven her father, so it is understandable why she’s willing to forgive Chris.

    I think the real danger is if we keep shaming Rihanna, and not Chris. If we keep calling her an idiot, dumb, laughing at her and her justifications, etc. Because IF (when) he does hit her, she won’t report it.

    She actually has some power in the relationship right now (a “luxury” women in similar situations don’t have), but we as women, need to give women like her an out. The victims aren’t the problem, it’s beautiful that she’s willing to continue to see Chris in a positive light, because I could never do that. All of our hate and contempt needs to be aimed at Chris and Chris alone.

    • tabasco says:

      i really don’t see any lack of shaming CB here. and i also don’t buy that a female who has/had a problematic relationship with their father = their relationship with significant others. and “we” can’t give her an out. the whole world was behind her after what happened and she’d have more support in not messing with him than 99.9% of the regular women who deal with this. treating people like perpetual victims is NOT empowering and yes, her behavior IS part of the problem.

    • Chordy says:

      Nicola – you’re awesome! What a beautiful display of compassion and empathy! *applauds*

  37. bigorange says:

    I feel the same. I finally realized I just don’t like her as person. I was a casual fan. If her music came on I listened. I never paid attention her twitter and instagram antics. I only started to follow this personal stuff when the Chris rumors start rearing its ugly head the past year. Man, I what disappointment. I can’t and will not listen to her music knowing all that stuff is for him.

  38. The Original Mia says:

    Seriously don’t care what your truth is, Rhianna. You are welcome to take back him back. If you are okay being with a lying, cheating, abusive, homophobic, illiterate douchebag, then I’m okay with it. Just STFU about it. Stop trying to convince us you’re so badass, he’s so special and all that other stuff that spews from your mouth. You want him. Have at it.

  39. marie says:

    there’s nothing I can add to the conversation that hasn’t already been said (I can only hope she wises up and realizes her self worth)but I did want to mention how beautiful she looks on that cover.

  40. Jennifer says:

    I’m in the boat where I dislike both of them, but I will always hate Chris. I hate that she took him back because she made it ‘okay’ that he beat the living shit out of her. He beat her, but it’s ‘okay’ because she forgave him, like the victim of abuse that she is. Unfortunately, the statistics for domestic abuse victims are horrible. They leave their abuser 8 times before they leave for good.

  41. Joanna says:

    She’s hard-headed. I was the same way at her age, nobody could tell me what to do, and I was going to do the opposite of what people had the nerve to tell me to do. As long as people keep on bashing her for being with him, she’s going to keep on defending him. If everybody quiets down and let her do her dumb s*it, she will see him for what he is. Right now, she’s caught up “having his back.” when she’s not so busy defending him, her eyes will open and she will see him for what he is. So I say, let her go do her thing. The sooner we do, the sooner she will wake up to what an idiot she is being.

  42. babythastarsshinebrite says:

    A victim of her on mistakes. Too bad.

  43. Nava says:

    ‘I’d rather just live my truth and take the backlash.’ I think she meant backslap(ping), instead of backlash. ( backslap, as defined by Urban Dictionary)

  44. LeeLoo says:

    I said this the other day about Chris…one of these days he will wind up pissing off the wrong person like Suge Knight or someone of that cqliber and he’s going to get himself killed. I just hope for Rihanna’s sake she is not around if/when that day comes.

  45. Cassie says:

    Rihanna and Chris Brown are gaining millions out of this drama and getting loads of attention!
    It’s all entertainment business!

    I don’t feel pity neither I do get sad for Rihanna.
    The girl gets everything she wants! If she wants pity there are people who feel it for her and if she wants others feel sadness for her there are people who feel sad for her. People always are willing to pay to Rihanna pull out other stuff from her hat.

    Celebrities do it all the time and they always win!

  46. Madriani's Girl says:

    Ohh, Rihanna, you so edgy with the head half shaved. I really despise this skank.

  47. Camille (TheOriginal) says:

    He’s a complete a**hole. And she is completely fooling herself. This won’t end well.

  48. GeeMoney says:

    She’s an idiot. But it’s her life.

  49. tabasco says:

    i don’t know why exactly, but every time i see her lately, all i can think is how she’ll be on some “where are they now?” has-been show. she’s like beyonce in the sense that she doesn’t re-invent, it’s always the same show. and given her INSANE personal life choices, she doesn’t have the likeability to sustain a career either. “live my truth” is exactly the kind of faux-artsy bullsh*t i’d expect to hear from her. she’s another one i used to like on some level and have written off. i know it’s a b*tch to get out of an abusive relationship and everything, but i know women who have pulled themselves up and out of it – without a fraction of the resources rihanna has. it’s like with lilo – it’s sad and there is compassion for you, but at a certain point, you become responsible for your own choices and complicit in them. i find the degree of her own lack of self-respect offensive to other women. even if it could somehow be guaranteed that he’d never do it again (or hasn’t already), the fact that he already did is enough. OBVIOUSLY. given her choices and that apparently young fans listen to her, i think magazines and such should not give her (or him, obviously) covers or interviews. why give this kind of thing a platform? it’s revolting. i think rolling stone has enough clout to either just not cover her or to say, look, you want to talk about whatever album, fine, you want to make completely idiotic choices in your life, that’s sad and on you, but we’re not printing this bullsh*t.

  50. tabasco says:

    if a dude ever laid a hand on me (god forbid), i swear there would be a contest between my friends and family to see who could find him and break his legs first.

  51. tabasco says:

    also, maybe yelling at her won’t change anything in her life, but maybe it might in someone else’s who is reading this bullsh*t RS allows on its cover, calling this “love” and whatnot. if they’re going to put it out there, and i don’t think they should, then i will continue to call it the trash it is. god, by and large, celebrities are the biggest as*holes, it’s disgusting.

  52. zorbitor says:

    If they both quite drinking and drugging there might not be anything to write about

  53. Nicolette says:

    ‘Take the backlash’? Doesn’t she mean take the backhand?

  54. Moore says:

    There are a ton of women just like her in the world.

  55. Michelle says:

    Okay little lady…you are over the age of 18 and you are free to make your own choices, no matter how stupid they are. But when he beats you again (and he will…)don’t even report it to the media because you got what you deserved.

  56. ninaki says:

    There comes a time in life that its not all about what you want and need (thats the teen way of life), there’s a time that you must get rid things that aren’t good for you no matter how much you crave for them and you have to say no. Its the “noes” in our life that define us not the “yeses”. Well ….live and let live!

  57. Churlz says:

    I just have to say Rihanna looks amazing on that cover. So beautiful.

    I think Chris Brown is an awful person for what he did and is doing to Rihanna still.. I don’t think it will happen again though, not because he learnt from his mistakes (dont know about that) but because i think they will break up soon.

    *fingers crossed*

  58. Ashley says:

    This breaks my heart…I was the victim of domestic violence both physical and emotional..if it does get better, thats just the calm before the storm..I feel for her, she needs to seek therapy and find out her own issues as to why she keeps going back to him. I do not know how she does not look at him in fear and think back to those horrifying moments..I know I still get flashbacks and its been almost ten years.

  59. ShanWow says:

    That should read: “I’d rather just live my truth and take the backhand.”

  60. glorai brown says:

    No, it should read “I’d rather just take a licking and keep on stepping.”

  61. glorai brown says:

    Enough of you Rihanna and Chris we all have daughters and sons that we do not want to be abused…He filled her mouth up with blood and it splattered all over the car that crap would scare the hell out of me…I would still have nightmares now..Yet, she blames herself. He would scare the hell out of me if I was alone with him….This is so sad.

  62. Helvetica says:

    Only until she wakes up one day and wants no part of him anymore, she will continue to stay in it.

    She sounds like a typical abused person. I feel for her. Yes, she owns it, but I still feel bad for her.

    Hopefully he never lays a hand on her again. If not, it may be the last time.