Jennifer Lopez in a tin foil dress at the LA Topshop opening: the worst thing ever?

These are some new photos from the LA opening party for Topshop last night – Topshop is a UK store chain owned by Sir Philip Green, who is friends with a lot of top-tier celebrities like Kate Moss, etc. There are actually several Topshop stores already in America (in Chicago, Las Vegas and NYC), as well as Topshop “boutiques” in many Nordstroms. I guess Topshop will be opening another store in LA? Makes sense. Anyway, as I was going through the photos, I saw Kim Kardashian looking like a giant black ostrich (you’ll see in a minute) and I thought “Please God, let there be some other big names there so I don’t have to write another post about Kim Kardashian today.” Thankfully, Jennifer Lopez was at the opening and she looked TERRIBLE.

Here’s the thing – you know I’m a J.Lo apologist. I actually like her. I think she’s inane, and I loathe the fact that she’s with Casper Smart, but I enjoy her and I think she’s beautiful. But I think J.Lo falls into the trap of thinking that she’s so pretty she can pull off ANYTHING. And she can’t. Because this looks like she’s wearing a tin foil sack. And I am SO tired of J.Lo’s Croydon facelift. It never looks good. Also: THE SHOES. OMG.

Chris Brown was there – that’s Sir Philip Green posing with him.

Here’s Kim Kardashian as The Black Ostrich. I actually think she looks pretty here… pretty and wider. Also: CRAP, she’s still wearing leather maternity pants!!! Good God.

And finally here’s Kate Bosworth with newly darkened hair, with her creepy fiancé. They look like zombies.

Photos courtesy of Brian To/

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82 Responses to “Jennifer Lopez in a tin foil dress at the LA Topshop opening: the worst thing ever?”

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  1. Tanguerita says:

    Kate, eat something or just go away!looking at you makes me really uncomfortable.

    • jess says:

      Do you remember how healthy and fit she was in Blue Crush? That movie alone makes me sure that this skinny body she always has now is not something that comes naturally to her.

      • Lemony says:

        ITA! She looked awesome in Blue Crush. But I read an interview that she gave several years after Blue Crush came out & she said that she had to GAIN weight & muscle for the role….& after she was done she naturally went back to her original skinny body. Maybe it’s true, but I don’t believe it.

      • Denver Danni says:

        Agreed! She’s almost unrecognizable.

      • cr says:

        Lemony, she gained 15 pounds of muscle from the weight she was at the time, but apparently thought she looked too big.
        She’s tinier than she was pre-Blue Crush, it’s as if each time she loses a little weight she never gains it back.
        I do think she’s been adversely influenced by the HW/Fashion world fixation on being very, very slender. Yes, she’s ‘naturally’ slender and petite, but this doesn’t look like ‘naturally’ slender to me. She looks unhealthy.

  2. Dawn says:

    Other than Kate Bosworth they are all in the ugly section and on the way to pathetic. I think J-lo is just about over as the KrapTrashians should be. Ugly, uglier and ugliest. Kate is fine.

  3. Sarah says:

    I have a suspicion you meant insane,not inane? And the shoes – so hectic they almost turn the corner and become cool again.

  4. Tiffany27 says:

    Lord at month 8 Kim’s going to look like a magic eightball.
    And Kate Bosworth looks like she needs to be taken down by Rick from The Walking Dead.

  5. littlemissnaughty says:

    LMAO They all look atrocious. JLo and the Kardashians because of the clothes and Bosworth because … well her legs just make me sad now. The dress is cute though. And thank gawd she stopped frying her hair. But what good does that do when I can’t concentrate on anything but the state of her body? Yikes.
    At least JLo’s face is always flawless.

  6. Bowers says:

    Ah jeez, and Jennifer Lopez has $$ and stuff and look at her hair and that dress.

  7. Post-It's says:

    Kim looks like an Oompa Loompa in that dress.

  8. Abra says:

    Kim is going to be a two ton Tanya! I can’t wait!

    (no offense to anyone named Tanya)

  9. brin says:

    Were thry asked to dress as common household objects (tinfoil, feather duster, brillo pad)?

  10. bea says:

    I did not know they made dresses from Mylar. Very Valentine’s Day balloon. Her shoes are hideous as well.

    I know you didn’t want to lead with her, this is the worst I’ve even seen on KK (and she dresses like a 50 yr old real estate agent from Ft. Lauderdale). It was o.k. until I saw the leather leggings. Honestly, until she figures out to dress an egg with giant boobs, she should stay home.

  11. Dinah says:

    I feel like I wanna blow on KB in that last photo and watch her fall over.

  12. L says:

    I don’t think Kim K’s pants are maternity pants. I think they are the same leather pants she’s worn before and she’s either a)not closed them and hidden it under the feather dress or b) had some insert put in temporarily and hidden it under the feather dress.

    Either way, tacky.

  13. Miss Kiki says:

    J to the Lo should never stop. Without fail I’ll laugh when I see a photo of her.

    I will never forgive the Bos for getting her bony little fingers in to My Viking.

  14. Bobsta says:

    As this pregnancy progresses, Kim K is starting to wear more and more things that make you wonder if she is going to give birth or if one fine day she’ll just lay an egg.

  15. drolf says:

    From the Black Swan maternity collection, I presume.

  16. v1nc3nz00 says:

    and that’s a carnival costume

  17. Joanna says:

    omg, wtf with kk’s outfit? she can’t dress to save her life. she looks hideous. and she always has this look on her face, like, i’m so hot. geez!

  18. Lolly says:

    Kim will be in my country on the 17th. She’s co-hosting some Valentine themed party. My friend got us tickets. I’ll be going to the party for the express purpose of seeing how horrendous she’ll be looking. I’m planning on wearing a shirt that says “I love Celebitchy”. Wish me luck!

    • Alexa says:

      I know right @ lolly,i too am in lagos right now and i cant wait to head over to the party for the sole purpose of laughing because if she thinks our people are going to droll over her screaming her name,then she is delusional with a capital.i think people are going there just to see the movie and not to see fat kimmie and her poor fashion choices

  19. Chickenlishus says:

    Replace Kate with The Cracken, and add Rihanna…The total “Peple I Can’t Stand” post.

  20. Mirella says:

    Were they trying to out-fug each other?

  21. Aiobhan says:

    I actually do not mind the dress that JLo is wearing. If she got rid of the shoes and the bag it would be much improved over this weird mess that she is wearing now.

    Kim does not look terrible. I think that top is from Prabal Gurung f2012 but I am not sure. I know that he does not do maternity though. She must have bought that at a store because from reading ( and laughing uproariously at the last story on her) she was not gifted that top or those horrible leggings.

  22. skuddles says:

    I don’t know how I feel about JLo’s get up…. it confuses me. I hate it – and yet I don’t.

    Brown’s scowling pic makes me want to smack him in the head.

    And Kraptrashians look as trashy and ridiculous as ever. Kim just looks like a big, dumpy bird and Kris looks like a budget hooker.

  23. bns says:

    That hair color looks great on Kate Bosworth.

    I can’t stand Jennifer Lopez. She’s so tacky and cheap looking.

  24. Sarah says:

    Ugh….I just can’t with Kate Bosworth. She is so unhealthy looking. She literally looks like a lollypop with her bobbly head on her stick of a body. Not attractive at all. Do these people own mirrors?

    Re: JLo, at least she closed her mouth in some of the pictures. The shoes are beyond horrid.

    I refused to comment on anything K related as I am personally boycotting them. If we all do it, they will go away. I’m starting a movement.

  25. RN says:

    Kim’s hairline held me captive for a good minute. Look at that curvy part and how her forehead ends in a perfectly straight line. It reminds me of Justin Theroux’s eyebrows – groomed within an inch of its life.

    Kate Bosworth will be the next Lara Flynn Boyle, if Megan Fox doesn’t beat her to the (plastic) punch.

  26. bopit says:

    Someone explain to me how all of these people with SO much money continuously look TERRIBLE? HOW?! I make a year what they make at a 2 hour club appearance and I swear I look a helluva lot more put together.

  27. Aud says:

    Top Shop is as rubbish as Zara. Low quality fabric teamed with slave labour just so miserly shoppers can save a few bucks. You stick one of the T shirts in the wash, and you’ll be lucky it lasts five washes.
    I hate these retailers. They debase quality and fashion.
    Bosworth and Kardashian look terrible. I’ve seen prostitutes on the main strip of Kings Cross dress better.

  28. Amanda says:

    I just can’t with these people.

  29. ladybert62 says:

    All of the outfits are awful.

  30. crab says:

    JLo always has the same look on her face! It’s called the “I smell shit” look! Drives me crazy!

  31. Sarah says:

    Yikes!! What a horrendous outfit. Why would anyone in the world ever choose to wear this dress, escpecially at a public event?! I can’t even think of something nice to say at all, accept that at least she’s not the one posing for a photo with Chris Brown?

  32. MonicaQ says:

    I know you partly own my favorite team J.Lo but their colors do not go with leopard print (Miami Dolphins).

  33. juju says:

    Jlo, kim and kris make a complete turn around and go home and really re-think about what the hell you just wore !!! really omg never thought i would see jlo looking so crazy, that outfit is just crazy !!!! kim & kris WTF !!

  34. Rhea says:

    For some reason she reminds me with a disco light. :D

  35. Gabby says:

    A gust of wind could knock Kate right over. And her boyfriend or whatever he is has very creepy eyes.

  36. Ravensdaughter says:

    Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can…..make that SpiderWOMAN….

  37. judyjudy says:

    Yes, I do believe JLo’s dress is the worst thing ever.

  38. Stubbylove says:

    I don’t know if I’ve seen a CB post with more annoying people in it at once as this one. If John Mayer, Heidi/Spencer Pratt or Nicki Minaj were included it would probably blow up the screen.

  39. lady mary. says:

    iam more distrated by kris jenners nose than miss Ostrich(ofc she is plethora of vision herself ), but the tip seems to be on the verge of rolling off her nose

  40. lylaooo says:

    this deserve a BIG WTF !!!!!!!
    why the kardashian´s thinks they look good!!! hahahahha this is a joke…kim is big…and pregannt ..she doesnt have to drees like that!!! i bet she doesnt have fullbody mirrors !!! and jLo OMG!!! this shoes are terrrible..i think she wanted to wear them no matter what!!

    D I S A S T E R.. !!

  41. Madriani's Girl says:

    Seriously, Kris Jenner needs to stop trying to dress like she’s a 25 year old whore rather than the 50-something whore she is.

  42. d says:

    Based on how hot she was in Blue Crush, I always thought Bosworth could have carved out a real niche for herself. But she’s just utterly wasted her potential. Sad. Way, way too thin.
    JLo: Please stop. Just stop. Please go away, re-adjust your priorities, find yourself, and then come back. Because there’s just too much ridiculousness with her lately (clothing, face poses, etc.)

    • cr says:

      I sort of feel for KB here. She’s a new face for Topshop, she’ll be at the official opening today, and she looks better than almost anyone else at this party. And yet, Topshop invited the Kardashians? And abuser Chris Brown. What a way to promote your product!
      But this is what KB does now, she doesn’t seem to have an acting career, and so now she does fashion store openings.

  43. Dee Cee says:

    Sporty T-dress flash..? From head to toe.. lopez ugh..

  44. V. says:

    Kate Bosworth is so “try hard” and unattractive boring actress! She peaked in Blue Crush and that isn’t saying much.

    JLO clearly was having a pre-menopausal moment with that outfit. The worst thing I have ever seen her do…actually attempt to dress her age. LOL

    Kim needs to keep trying!

  45. nikzilla37 says:

    Every one of these people looks horrible.

  46. Shira says:

    How does Kate even manage to stand with so little skin?!! She’s just shocking to look at.

  47. annaloo. says:

    Quack quack, waddle waddle, quack quack

  48. RHONYC says:

    she looks like an abuela hittin’ bingo night down in AC. womp. :-(

  49. lucy says:

    Great comments today!

    Re JLo, I am always amazed that with her hair pulled so tight that her eyes aren’t open wider. Perhaps the pulled hair is what keeps her eyes open? If not, there’s no justification for such an unattractive non-hairdo.

  50. Suzanne says:

    Note to self: Don’t let Mom wear the same shoes you were photographed in earlier with those same leather pants on. Ugh. Who dresses the Kardashians?
    And put some color on your lips for heaven’s sake…you paid good money for that plumping…show them off!

  51. Rachelstein says:

    Oh goddd can we talk about kris ‘midlife crisis’ kardashian, did she steal that top from a 16 y o in the 80s goth era

  52. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    Why are all of the Hollywood nose jobs so crooked? It seems like every single celebrity lady has a crooked nose and razor cheeks.

  53. Celt Lady says:

    JLo’s outfit is hideous. Ugly. Yikes.

    Kim K looks like her clothes are going to explode at any moment.

  54. Sam H x says:

    JLo’s outfit needs no words! Sir Philip Green ruined Dorothy Perkins for me as they carry the Kraptrashian Kollection now, posted on their FB page when they announced it at how out of touch he is with consumers, insulting his customers intelligence and next thing I knew I was blocked from commenting on it. I find Topshop and Zara stupidly overpriced, never buy from there and I do have a soft spot for Zara handbags though. I prefer New Look & H&M, l always buy from them both as their stuff is reasonably priced, cute and New Look is the only high street brand that have wide fit shoes which my feet are. Although H&M’s pricing has creeped up a bit, their sizes can be off at times, if your after something which they don’t have in your size as they only have what is on the shop floor really annoys me.

  55. Maritza says:

    Jlo’s dress and shoes are awful! Kate Bosworth looks beautiful.

  56. serena says:

    Oh gosh, I don’t even know where to start so I’ll just focus on J-Lo. Other than that awful dress and shoes (what the hell was she thinking?) I just wish she stopped with the bun, every fu-ing time!

  57. Claudia says:

    I know I’m crazy for this, but I actually like JLo’s dress. Maybe not against the backdrop of that red carpet, but in motion and casually yes. The shoes are horrible, that I can agree with.