Jon Hamm hates that people discuss his bulge: “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason”

We’ve been talking about Jon Hamm’s Hamm Dong for years now. It was like 2010 when we began discussing his often-prominent bulge and his penchant for going without drawers. It’s been part of the celebrity-gossip world for years. So I don’t understand why Jon Hamm has recently decided to pitch a fit about it. When the NY Daily News had a story about the Hamm Dong causing problems on the set of Mad Men, Jon’s rep issued a bitchy statement about how the conversation was childish or whatever. I mean, the rep isn’t wrong – it IS childish. But it’s also fun, harmless and for the love of God, if Jon is going to get so upset about it, maybe he should wear underwear? Anyway, Jon covers the new issue of Rolling Stone to promote the new season of Mad Men. So far, the only excerpts from the interview are Jon bitching about the attention his Hamm Dong gets.

Jon Hamm’s Endowment for the Arts! At long last, the Mad Men hunk, 42, has opened up about a literally below-the-belt topic: Frequent paparazzi closeup shots of his, er, impressive crotch, most of them suggesting that the actor prefers not to wear underwear.

“Yeah, I’m familiar,” Hamm tells the new issue of Rolling Stone regarding snapshots (and ever-evolving online memes) of his nether regions.

“Most of it’s tongue-in-cheek, but it is a little rude. It just speaks to a broader freedom that people feel like they have — a prurience,” complains the award-winning AMC star, who has been dating Jennifer Westfeldt since 1997. (Talk of Hamm’s genitals accelerated last week, when the Daily News claimed that the actor was asked to wear undergarments for season six of Mad Men due to “tight” 1960s-era pants.)

Continued Hamm of the X-rated scrutiny on his underwear-less excursions: “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason. I’m wearing pants, for f–k’s sake. Lay off.”

Still, the celebrated NYC resident keeps it all in perspective, for the most part. “I mean, it’s not like I’m a f—ing lead miner. There are harder jobs in the world. But when people feel the freedom to create Tumblr accounts about my c–k, I feel like that wasn’t part of the deal [of fame].”

“But whatever,” says the well-endowed Hmm, sipping a Budweiser during the Rolling Stone interview. “I guess it’s better than being called out for the opposite.”

[From Us Weekly]

I had to look up “prurience”. It means “Inordinately interested in matters of sex; lascivious”. Yep. That’s exactly what it is. And? Jon Hamm/Don Draper is a sex symbol. It’s served him well. He’s benefited from it and profited from it and his dong wouldn’t be a “thing” if he wasn’t flashing his bulge around all the time. Usually I’m #TeamHamm by default but I don’t really understand why he’s playing this “don’t talk about my d—k” game recently.

Here’s the Tumblr devoted to his junk. Or you could just glance through our archives.

Photos courtesy of Rolling Stone, Fame/Flynet.

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86 Responses to “Jon Hamm hates that people discuss his bulge: “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason””

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  1. Mich says:

    Oh please. Mr Hamm your ‘privates’ have been on public display for years. If I can tell that you are circumcised just by looking at your fully clothed picture than the problem is your clothing choices (specifically, your disdain for underwear)- not my prurient mind.

    • Kate says:

      Hahahah, I know! It’s like if a woman with enormous boobs doesn’t wear a bra and then complains about people looking at her.

      • Annie says:

        That is a horrible thing to say Kate. You know how many people justify rape and sexual assault because of what a woman is wearing? “She wants it. She was asking for it.” No, nobody is asking to be oggled like a piece of meat.

        How about people control themselves?

        You shouldn’t stare down people’s blouses or examine their crotch area long enough to know if he’s circumcised. How about a little civility here and remind yourself what you were taught in kindergarten? “It is not polite to stare.”

      • Chicagogurl says:

        Jesus. Clearly Kate wasnt talking about rape. I think your taking it out of the context with which it was intended. She’s saying if someone knows something clearly draws attention they don’t want then maybe they should change their behavior. I don’t want people to talk about my jelly roll so I don’t walk around in crop tops. It’s called behavior modification.

      • lin says:

        Umm, I don’t think she was saying that a woman without a bra is asking to be raped. Also, you don’t have to look very long to realize that he’s circumcised.
        If you’re checking out what a person is wearing it’s pretty difficult to overlook prominent nipples and penises.

      • V4Real says:

        @Annie I don’t think you’re getting the point of what Kate is saying. You are trying to take this in a different direction. Kate is absolutely right. I have large boobs and if I threw on a T-Shirt without a bra it would most certainly draw a little extra attention my way. All Kate is saying is that you should dress for your body type and not to be offended if people take notice if you don’t.

        That’s the same with Jon Hamm; there are certain clothing he could wear that wouldn’t show his bulge. The simple act of putting on underwear might suffice.

        To tell people not to stare is like telling a cat not to chase a mouse. Are you telling us that in your whole entire life you never stared at something that caught your attention. Sometimes people stare and their subconscious mind is not aware of it. DId you ever see that movie with Helen Hunt and Mel Gibson “What Women Want?” When he came to her office she stared at his crotch. When she finally realized she was staring she had a knee jerk reaction and said OMG I was just staring at his crotch and then realized she did it again seconds later.

        You shouldn’t indirectly imply that Kate is saying that women are asking to be raped if they dress a certain way. She was not saying that and it’s unfair of you to even bring that topic into this post.

      • whatthehell456 says:

        Woah Annie, throttle back. No one brought rape into the conversation. She’s got a legitimate point. Don’t want people looking at your junk? Don’t put it on display.

      • lucy2 says:

        LOL, it’s like on Arrested Development, Kitty flashing her bad boob job and then saying “Eyes up here, Michael!”

        Annie, IMO that’s way too big of a jump to make.

      • Mich says:

        @ Lucy2

        LMAO!!!! That is the PERFECT analogy!!

      • Joy says:

        Whoa how did we go from not wearing a bra to rape? Settle down.

      • Giselle says:

        Well, that escalated quickly.

  2. Monie says:

    Jonny, if you don’t want people looking at your trouser snake, then strap that sucker down. And a little note, they are also called “privates” because most people keep them private. Something creepy about a grown man walking around with a d*ck print all the time.

  3. Victoria1 says:

    Hahahaha hahahaha release the Hammaconda! And stand there and look pretty.

  4. V4Real says:

    “Jon Hamm hates when people discuss his bulge”

    Then stop showcasing it you clown and put on underwear. He does it on purpose because many men have large packages and you don’t see their bulge everytime they step out in public. He likes the attention and he knows it.Jeez you act like you have the biggest peen out there; I’ve seen bigger. Plus what women besides porn stars want a man who is hung like a horse?

  5. Daahling says:

    Even my children wear underwear, Hamm. You’re a grown man. Dress like one, or else I get to comment on your junk.

  6. lisa2 says:

    I agree they are “private” but he kind of started this. He should keep it is a cradle so to speak. But when you want it to hang free, understand that people are going to talk.

    I think for most people if some guy at their job was going commando they would be all offended. I find it gross actually. And think he should keep the free balling at home with his woman. That is how you keep all of this private.

  7. FLORC says:

    He’s only playing coy about it. It’s good publicity for the show.

  8. JenD says:

    I feel like this is similar to when a woman barely covers her breasts and then complains that people focus on them. If you put it out there for the world to see by covering it up, it’s not really “private.”

    And I’m pretty sure I’m the only one, but I think him letting it all hang out is kind of gross looking. (Ladies, please don’t kill me for that).

  9. florencia says:

    Well it’s like not wearing a bra, and then complaining about the sexual attention, wear underwear, and nobody will talk about it. What a bitch.

  10. PugsterMom says:

    Who does he think he’s kidding? He LOVES it! What man wouldn’t love the world admiring his uncaged HAMMster?

  11. epiphany says:

    This is like Sofia Vergara complaining that people are talking about her breasts. This sounds like a case of thou doth protest too much.
    Funny, I don’t see the outline of other actor’s genitalia in their pants – he might want toget the names of some new tailors, if it really bothers him (which it doesn’t- after years of obscurity, he’s lovng the attention.)

  12. sarah says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one sick of hearing about his penis. A bunch of grown ass women giggling about seeing the outline of a penis in his pants. It’s pathetic. Get over it already. It’s not like you’re ever going to see it (or feel it) in person anyhow.

  13. Ms Kay says:

    Mr Hamm doth protest too much methinks. He should relax, take one or two shots of white sambuca, press play and watch a film starring an an Irish fella playing a sex addict who went full frontal and won awards for his performance and who nowadays still handles the media hoopla around his ginger bush and dangly bits just fine…

  14. bea says:

    but we can talk about Christina Hendricks’ chest all day……..

  15. serena says:

    LOOL thanks for the link Kaiser, I’ll be checking it out in a sec.

  16. Green is Good says:

    Oh please. He’s loving this.

  17. CTgirl says:

    Dear John,

    We had something special. You displayed, we looked, and everyone understood the parameters of our interaction. You have now shown that you are just a cheap thrill and not in it for the long haul. Pun intended. If you don’t want us enjoying your free ballin’ ways, then all you have to do is slip on some briefs under those pants. But until you do we’re still going to look, not a boldly as before, and feel just a little dirtier now that we know you want to be a serious actor.

  18. T.Fanty says:

    Huh – look at that. A man doesn’t like being sexually objectified. Interesting..

  19. prettytarheelfan says:

    I have a confession: I do not find Jon Hamm attractive. His hairline bugs me, and I think his bone structure is weak and passive. He looks like someone drew an oval and slapped some thin lips and 2 days of scruff.

  20. Jen says:

    Speaking as the partner of a similarly ‘big’ man, I can sympathise with Hamm’s predicament – that there sometimes isn’t a comfortable way to wear it in a way that ‘conceals’ it. Going underwear-free is the only alternative.

    Poor old Hamm.

  21. Toniko says:

    I don’t care what he says. That RS cover shot is HAWT!

  22. Diana says:

    Aw, boo-hoo! Cry me a river!!! If you don’t want people staring at your privates, than stop flauntung them and wear underwear! I always knew he was an a-hole and I was not wrong.

  23. MollyB says:

    It’s not like people are taking upskirts of him. If he’s going to be flashing it around everywhere he goes, people are going to discuss it.

  24. lucy2 says:

    People react to what you put out there. I can see how it would feel invasive, but…it’s not like he can’t do something about it. If freeballing is more important to him, the ignore the attention. If the attention is too much, then put on underwear. Problem solved.

  25. Shannon says:

    Then he better keep that thing in check if he doesn’t want people discussing it.

  26. Amanda says:

    Somebody call the waaaaaambulance, a rich and famous actor who gets paid to be handsome has a problem with being objectified!

  27. Ginger says:

    Yes I’ve seen the close ups and it was impressive! It’s like the male version of “camel toe” ( I hate that phrase but it applies). If he’s so bothered…wear f’in drawers man!

  28. Talie says:

    I have to imagine he likes the attention, but this is the first time it has crossed over from being an Internet joke to getting mainstream attention.

  29. danni says:

    i like the fact that he didn’t say that he wears underwear.
    so he knows whats wrong, and he doesn’t want to fix it.
    the next step is to admit that his gf has botox!!!

  30. ZigZagZoey says:


    When asked it’s opinion, his penis tweeted that it wants it’s 15 minutes (or inches!) of fame. It’s sick of being in Jon’s shadow.
    When asked about this tweet, Jon simply said
    What a prick…He thinks he is such a big shot….Whatever, we have our ups and downs, but ultimately we will stay together. I have to smack him around occasionally, and he stands up to me. But I always have the upper hand.

  31. SouthernGal says:

    I mean you can see it just by looking at the pics posted. Very well endowed. Goodness!!

    But seriously, wear underwear and there won’t be any issues. Simple!

  32. silly you says:

    oh, jon…you dont fool us. we know you google your unit daily.

  33. Annette says:

    Great. A male Anne Hathaway. How about putting some big boy panties on then Jonny?

  34. Kim says:

    Im not impressed I don’t find him or his dong appealing.

  35. Lexi says:

    He has a big one and he knows it, he knows that when he doesnt wear undies with tight pants that people can see the outline of his penis, (holy cow u can really see it) so i think if he wants people to shut up or stop thinking/talking about his penis he should wear undies!

  36. Happy21 says:

    Love that man. Am going to be buying that magazine just so I can star at him…lol…

  37. Helvetica says:

    His Tumblr comment made me laugh.

    Omg… picture #4. Jessica is one lucky lady!

  38. rebecca says:

    Given all the horrible things actresses have said about them every day, I don’t feel bad for him at all. How about he just starts wearing underwear.

    He comes across as a really whiny 42 year old.

  39. anneesezz says:

    Come on, that was a funny comment. What’s he supposed to say “hell yeah, I have a big swinging d*ck and it’s AWESOME!” He’s gorgeous and he knows it. What’s wrong with that? He can make fun of himself. He guest starred on 30 Rock about being in The Bubble and being clueless about getting things handed to you because you’re good looking. It was hilarious. In case you can’t tell – Love him!

  40. Keats says:

    I’m listening to the most recent ep of you made it weird with Pete holmes, and he’s interviewing Hamm. It’s a good listen!

  41. Miss Jupitero says:

    I think wants to make *absolutely sure* we are looking. Come on!

  42. skuddles says:

    Now Jon… if you really didn’t want us gawking at and talking about the Hammaconda you would not be letting it roam freely like you do. But I do think it’s cute the way you pretend to be troubled about our fixation on your darling dong :)

  43. Hoganbcmj says:

    “They’re called ‘privates’ for a reason.” Then why don’t you try keeping them PRIVATE, Mr. Hamm? If you tried even a little bit to cover them up, then probably people wouldn’t talk about them so much. I find it disingenuous to whine about his junk being ‘private’ yet he continually walks around with his bulge out on display for everyone to see, pretending that it’s normal and every guy does it. They don’t.

  44. KellyinSeattle says:

    My ex-husband had a package like that and didn’t really try to hide it with better packaging; Regardless, I don’t miss him!

  45. pumpkin says:

    Awhhh poor baby, says every woman who’s ever been objectified for her breasts.

  46. Kushkins says:

    I can see his Hammdong in every single one of these pictures, and all I can say is…..Congratulations Jonn Hamm!

  47. Vera says:

    Then wear some drawers, dude.

  48. Niyah says:

    U can see it on Mad Men…. they avoid shots where they can but u can still see it. He likes the attention, and honestly, i think its more sack than shlong. Can’t wait for season 6!!!!!

  49. SFBob says:

    Remember the days when you might sneak a quick look and maybe titter behind your hand as you whisper to a friend?
    No? I must just be old then.

  50. Sandy says:

    I’ve lost respect for Hamm after reading his responses. He sounds full of himself. If he were a gentleman, he’d laugh it off and say something funny or clever rather than bashing his fans.

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