We got a tip about this yesterday, and I’m so glad that some of you want to talk about the amazingness that is Ryan Lochte’s new E! reality show, What Would Ryan Lochte Do? The name of the show is hilarious enough because what would Ryan Lochte do? He would forget to breathe. He would get lost in a mall. He would wear two different shoes without noticing. He would walk into walls at the smell of bacon. I hope I’m not overselling this, but this show is going to be amazing. Ryan is incredibly stupid, and watching him trying to compute simple tasks is going to be a joy. I think what makes it okay – as opposed to mean or gross – is that Ryan is pretty harmless. He’s not viciously stupid or offensively ignorant. Ryan Lochte has no hate, y’all. He’s just bumbling along, mispronouncing words and trying to understand how to breathe with his mouth closed. I present to you the greatest promotional trailer ever:
My dog knows more words than Ryan Lochte. *mic drop*
Seriously, though – as CB reminded me, this is the guy who was TOO STUPID for The Bachelor. Think about that. He forgets how many medals he won at the Olympics. He forgets WHICH medals he won at the Olympics. He uses words like “enfidence” and “recipitate”. His mind is BLOWN when he’s asked “What is ‘The Lochte Edge’?” . He spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about “Jeah” and how to pronounce it and what it means. He asks college-aged girls out by slurring “You wannagout with me?” He is a work of art. Gawker has a great review of this too – it made me laugh!
Thanks to Amy for the tip!
Photos courtesy of WENN.
The perfect drinking game: drink every time he mispronounces a word!
I mean…are we sure he’s not exaggerating his dumb side to make the show funnier/more interesting? I’m too suspicious of reality tv these days. I loved his Lochte-isms during interviews, but the guy is hungry for fame. I’m viewing the whole show with a hefty dose of skepticism.
Um no. I’m a reality tv skeptic too, but I actually believe Ryan is really this dumb. He had a guest appearance on some scripted show recently, I think Hawaii 5-0??, and I remember all he had to do pretty much was introduce himself as himself while fan girls were drooling right in front of him… should have been the easist thing in the world (since that is something he does apparently every day IRL) but it was the worst acting ever!! I think every bit of what he says is how he actually is. He has no common sense or book sense, which I dont know if that’s sad or funny..but I’ll be tuning in!
Oh man, this is going to be the funniest thing on TV! I’m not normally a fan of guys who are dumber than wallpaper paste, but I might have to make an exception for Lochte. (“Lochte!”)
I’ll watch this. I like my reality show stars to have some heart beyond the stupidity. But the stupidity is required and Lochte will bring it for sure.
Kaiser thank you for the laugh this morning.
This is going to be Epic!
This looks amazing. I totally agree with Kaiser that what makes this whole thing work is that Ryan Lochte is pretty harmless. It’ll be hard for him to keep seeming harmless as opposed to full of himself but as long as he does, I’ll be watching.
See, Feminism, it works!
We’ve had reality shows about she bimbos for years, it’s nice to have a little turn about of fair play.
I’m a little afraid we’ll all become a little dumber for having watched, but it’s probably going to be worth it.
haha he is the gronkowski of swimming. i will watch this. he’s harmless and stupid and cute.
Who wants to bet his last name is really pronounced “loshte” (like toast) and he just grew up pronouncing it wrong?
Good lord he is painfully gorgeous… that last pic DAYUM. I don’t really look to reality tv for intellectual stimulation, so I’m onboard for this show… and let’s be honest, he’s more talented than most of the gems that E! gives reality shows to.
Can’t hate, he’s like a labrador (though labs are smart)!
Ryan is more of an Irish Setter! Dum de dum dum dum, “Where’s that ball go?”
I do admire his drive in the face of his own adversity.
He reminds me of a hot, modern-day Forrest Gump .
“I was swimmin’ “
Talks like Forrest Gump, looks like Channing Tatum…who could not love that?
One word … Jeah!!!
Awww, bless him. He kind of just grew on me a little in that trailer.
I think it’s funny to see how our pop culture is shifting…along the lines of someone writing above, females have been the “bimbos” for so long….another thought I had was that the rough “rednecks” on Duck Dynasty are college grads (from a real college) and 2 of them actually hold Master degrees…while this international superstar, gold-medal-winning, corporate-sponsored, gorgeous athlete is dumb as a brick. HAHA love it.
He is not my type at all, but he is incredibly endearing. His whole vibe really is very cute and fun-loving.
Awww, Ryan Lochte, I’ll be your girlfriend. We can hang out with your douchey friends and wear your hideous sneakers and talk about the meanings and pronunciations of words. I can remind you how many medals you have and we can brainstorm a new catchphrase.
And we can have sex. Lots and lots of sex.
Everytime I see this guy I feel as if I’m watching Jason Stackhouse in real life.
Hahahaha! Best comparison ever.
He is just so cute and so clueless and just such an airhead. While the trailer confirms he is not intelligent at all, he seems very close to his family which is the one plus. I thought it was adorable how choked up he got when he was talking about winning medals at his first Olympics and having his family in the audience. Even his own family seems to think he’s dumb though! Haha I love his mother!
Bless his–heart?
He is so dumb, but he’s got a panty droppin’ smile if I’ve ever seen one.
I’d hit it, time & time again.