'09
I’ve decided that Charles Barkley is the most honest and the most insane person I’ve heard of in a long, long time. Yesterday it was revealed that he was arrested on suspicion of DUI. There wasn’t much information at the time other than that he was pulled over at a mobile DUI checkpoint in Arizona and had his blood drawn. Now TMZ has some truly jaw-dropping details about what Barkley said to police. Most notably, that he was driving fast so he could get a beej. But that’s an excuse we’ve all used for speeding, right?
This may be the very best police report of 2008. When Charles Barkley was busted in Arizona early this morning for DUI, he told cops he ran a stop sign because he was in a hurry to get some oral sex.
According to the officer who wrote the report, “He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat.”
The officer continues: “He asked me to admit that she was ‘hot.’ He asked me, ‘You want the truth?’ When I told him I did he said, ‘I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a ‘b**w job’ one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.”
The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, “I’ll tattoo my name on your ass” if he helped “get him out of the DUI.” According to the report, “He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, ‘I’ll tattoo your name on my ass’ and then laughed again.”
The report also says officers “found a handgun in the vehicle” which was immediately impounded. The report doesn’t say if the handgun was legal or not, and the only thing that we know for sure was loaded…
[From TMZ]
From now on, whenever I want to bribe someone into doing something, I’m going to offer to tattoo their name on my ass. I can’t see what better incentive there is. And if I’m drunk, I’ll offer to tattoo my name on their ass, just like Barkley did.
I’m guessing Barkley was being honest – why else would he say such a thing? I doubt it’s going to win him any points with the police. There’s still no word on what his BAC was – and as Celebitchy pointed out yesterday, he’s 6’6 and has put on some weight, so it would likely take a crazy amount of alcohol to get him drunk. But it’s certainly not impossible. Barkley’s still really taking his whole, “athletes shouldn’t be role models” thing to heart, even after all this time.
Images thanks to Mavrix.
Written by JayBird
Posted in Charles Barkley, DUI, Sex
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10 Responses to “Charles Barkley told cops he was in a hurry to get some in-car lovin”
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I saw him on Oprah once with Michael Jordan and thought he was hilarious. Too bad he’s a dumb drunk.
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Classy…
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You know what I don’t get – if he was pulled over for SPEEDING, I could understand why he’d say “I’m in a hurry to get a blow job” (well, “understand” is relative, of course hehe.) But for a DUI…why would the BJ make a difference? “I had to get really drunk really quickly and then get in my car to get this BJ…”…???
Weird. LOL Isn’t he still married, by the by…? O_O
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He talks about returning to Alabama to run for governor. I don’t know how effective a governor he would be, but he sure wouldn’t be boring.
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what a dumbass!
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…it’s every man’s weakness, isn’t it
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I don’t know, in the south anyone can be elected (I mean, isn’t Tim McGraw thinking about running in Tennessee??)I’d vote for Charles Barkley, like it was said, for entertainment purposes. It’s better than some of the crazy scandals plaguing our country today…. Plus, it’s not like he’s the only bj loving politician — what about clinton? Hey now that’s an idea… Charles Barkley for president!
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I hope his wife dumps his dumb ass and takes half the ca$H, property and car$!!!
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Well, It’s not just the South. Remember, California elected Ah-nuld, and Ronald Reagan when he was just a B-movie actor, and Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura. But we southerners do tend to elect colorful characters! LOL
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I love this story, it’s freakin hilarious! It is totally Charles being Charles, with no apologies. My friend used to work at one of the srtip clubs in Houston that he (and practically all the other professional sports players) used to frequent when he played here…he is a raunchy man, never without a drink in his hand and a hooker (or two) on his lap. Hurry back to Houston, Charles, the stipprers and hookers miss you (and your money)!
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