Ivanka Trump is currently pregnant with her second child. She recently admitted that she works 16 hour days, and that she only sees her two year-old daughter on weekdays in the mornings before she leaves for work and for an hour and 15 minutes in the evening, from 6 to 7:15 before she returns to her office around the corner. As I said in my coverage of that story, I can’t shade her for that. She didn’t present her crazy work schedule as some ideal to live up to, just her own personal choice and she’s been surprisingly candid about it.
In a new interview with US Weekly, Ivanka talks about disciplining her daughter, Arabella, and says that it hasn’t really come up since Arabella is just 2. Ivanka adds that she won’t tolerate Arabella “being spoiled or bratty or having poor manners.” A lot of parents agree.
“She’s really good at telling me I have to share with her. She’s less good about actually sharing back. She offers to share and then when you get close, she pulls it back and says ‘no.’ Particularly when food’s involved.”
“Arabella isn’t even 2, so she hasn’t thrown me the challenges of a teenager . . . but I have a feeling I’m going to be pretty strict. My mother [Ivana Trump] laid down pretty concrete guidelines and the concept of ‘because I said so’ was a totally viable option.”
“The one thing I won’t tolerate is her being spoiled or bratty or having poor manners. That’s one area [in which] I’ll be very strict.”
Well again I can’t fault her for this. I strive to teach my son good manners, and to say “please” and “thank you” and be polite to adults. I would say that you can’t use “spoiled” or “bratty” to describe two year-olds, they’re pretty impulse driven, but she did concede that her daughter is just two. The sharing thing is difficult. I don’t think my son was able to “share” until he was a couple years older than that, although I tried. I think it’s a stage beyond where a two year-old is developmentally. I may not agree with everything Ivanka Trump does or says but she doesn’t act like her way is the only way. She doesn’t proselytize or try to convert people to her way of life. If only more celebrities would realize that the world doesn’t revolve around them and their choices.
Event photos are from 5-19-13 credit: WENN.com. Other photos are from Ivanka Trump’s Instagram.
What is her job? Not trying to be snarky… genuinely do not know
” In her role as Executive Vice President of Development & Acquisitions at The Trump Organization, Trump is involved with all aspects of the company’s real estate and hotel management initiatives. Trump is the principal of Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry. The Ivanka Trump Lifestyle Collection also includes fragrance, footwear, handbags, outerwear and eyewear collections.” ~ Wikipedia
The nepotism is strong with this one!
Interestingly, in the UK, “trump” is the word for loud, inadvertent flatulence.
Now THAT is some perfectly fitting slang.
If only I could see her mother when I look at her, and not her father.
She graduated Summa Cum Laude (perfect or near perfect GPA) with a degree in economics so her job fits.
She is Executive Vice President of Development & Acquisitions at The Trump Organization and also has released her own line of handbags and footwear.
Development and Acquisitions is a serious job, if you don’t develop business correctly you lose money. If you acquire the wrong business, pay too much for it, or don’t research it properly you can be royally screwed.
I’ve bought some of her stuff and really liked it. And I rarely buy brand names. Her taste for the young, professional woman is pretty good.
Yes, and let’s talk about the fact that it’s arguably more difficult for a woman to rise in ranks in the corporate world because of gender bias (and no matter what the woman’s capabilities). If I was her and interested in business, I’d sure as hell ride my dad’s coattails, too!
Agreed that her credentials are impressive. She’s no dummy and she’s always had a reputation for hard work. She works for the Trump empire by choice – she could easily get the same position in another corporation with her connections, experience, and education. Donald Trump is a goon, but he raised his kids right. They grew up surrounded by privilege and managed to avoid becoming lazy and useless, which is always a concern for children of rich people. Maybe Donald Trump’s next empire should be celebrity parenting consultation.
shannon – I agree with you upto the point where the boys have decided to take part in canned hunts for animals in Africa such as Elephants. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/14/donald-trump-jr-eric-trump-hunting_n_1344998.html
@JL, “She graduated Summa Cum Laude (perfect or near perfect GPA) with a degree in economics so her job fits.”
I’ve mentioned this story plenty of times here, but I went to Penn with Ivanka and she wasn’t required to show for classes (at least the one I had with her). The professor was very annoyed about being told Ivanka should be awarded a B or better without ever having to show up for one day of class. Also, I resent the fact that I had to work hard for that B+ while she had to do nothing. If you’re rich, famous and daddy is an alum who makes sizable contributions to the university, you do VERY little for that degree.
Mort – ooooooooooo! I hadn’t read before that you went to Penn with her. Thanks for the juicy info! I admire Ivanka, but that info made me question whether my admiration is actually justified. It’s sad for those of us who had to work for our grades, while some “celebrities” in university get the good grades thrown at them!
Ah! I was trying to remember who went to school ‘with’ her and didn’t have glowing praise concerning her conduct.
@morticians–
Thanks for the story. Keep sharing that story here because that’s the first time I read it!
@MorticiansDoItDeader
Yes. I could see that. Also it’s completely annoying when people are handed the higher station of life, with much better opportunity, at birth, and then think that they worked their way up there from the bottom, like her father does.
@mort Was it just the one class you had with her? If it were classes that didn’t count towards her econ degree, then I could understand her doing that honestly. She probably only had it in her mind to get an econ degree and felt those other classes were useless and a waste of time. I would have done the same because that’s how I felt about all those classes that didn’t really count towards my major. Her summa cum laude distinction would still be undeserved though.
@bijlee, it was a “women in religion” class and would have counted as a general elective for her (as it did for me). One other person in the class claimed they had a class with Ivanka the semester before and she never showed. So my feeling was that she had an understanding with the university. It reminded me of the honorary degrees awarded to celebs (without having to do any work). At any rate, if you or I didn’t show up for class we would have gotten a big fat F. Most instructors limited the number of times a student could be absent (and the TA’s kept track). The professor was very bitter about being told what grade to give Ivanka, and announced it to the class. After that, I lost all respect for her. She’s clearly an intelligent and well spoken woman (judging by her television interviews), but I believe she didn’t earn her degree
@mort No, I understand that I would have NO bargaining power for even a general elective class. And I would rightfully receive an F. I’m just saying I can understand why she would have done that. I don’t think she deserves summa cum laude distinction and probably shouldn’t brag about that. But as long as she did well in her econ classes and worked hard in them, then I suspect she’s fine for whatever job she does. I mean she has some qualification that justifies her high position in her father’s company.
@bijlee I have to disagree with you. At some very prestigious private universities (Loyola comes to mind) a student is expected and required to treat their core and elective classes as important as those in their major and minor (if they select a minor). Those schools (the Jesuit ones in particular) believe in teaching critical thinking and analysis in all areas, not just one. If Ivanka had a similar attitude at a school like this, not only would she not have been summa, she would probably have flunked out.
This is for the canned hunt comment since i cannot reply directly to it, but what they kill,the meat is donated to local.villages, in case you are not aware of that fact. They are not allowed to kill anything endangered as well. So they may show off their kill, big deal, they brouht in revanue from the hunt, food for the locals, and the pictures may bring in more of the same.
The Trump children have suceeded, not sure if it’s due to Ivana or The Donald, but you never hear any bad press concerning these adult children. All are educated and productive.
well, except when they kill animals just for fun http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/13/donald-trump-sons-safari-killing_n_1341596.html
I’m not into guns/hunting…didn’t know about that situation, but I haven’t seen any DUI’s lately…
I dont know how their half brother will turn out though. He has very expensive tastes for a 7 year old. He probably looks down his nose at Goop and her peasantry ways. No kid should have a thread count specification for his pajamas.
i imagine it’s 50/50. ie 50 = Donald and 50 = his baby mamas.
Ivanka, Eric and Donald Jnr were raised by a hardworking woman who continues to work despite the Trump millions. She doesn’t tolerate spoilt behaviour. The other 2 children have airhead mothers, particularly the youngest child, who indulge their every whim, so i expect they will turn out very differently from the first 3.
I expect 50 = Donald’s values and 50 = the mothers’ values.
Ivana trump was and is a hardworking woman who never took her privileged lifestyle for granted. Her kids are a reflection of that.
Marla Marples has largely kept out of sight, but you don’t hear much about her work. However, her child is mostly kept out of the spotlight, but she’s soon to reach adulthood and we shall know what kind of values Marla Imparted.
The youngest is spoilt and enjoys his privlege to the max despite being only 7yrs old. He is a reflection of his mother, it won’t be a shock if he turns out a spoilt adult unlike his older siblings.
I’m not going to comment on Don’s and Eric’s hobby because that is a totally different topic. However, the older Trump kids were raised right. They are productive and don’t lie around and wait for hand outs. There are some many privileged offsprings that don’t do much (Paris Hilton) besides wasting all that money their ancestors accumulated. It is good to see that the older Trump kids are actually participating in the family business.
I read an interview in People once that Donald and Ivana did not buy stuff on the whim for the first three. They had to earn whatever they wanted (via good grades or what not). Clearly those three were not spoiled.
Maybe Donald eased up when he got older but I don’t see Baron being as productive as the older siblings.
a long time ago, i remember an interview with at least two of them and it seemed like a lot of the parenting was done by ivana’s parents.
Well then, the older Trump kids were raised in a good old European way – i.e. “hard work is good for you”, “just put on another sweater, you’ll be fine”, etc. At the time Ivana was growing up, they were still under Communist rule, so I don’t think life was too soft. Her big move up and out was to qualify for the national alpine ski team and get to travel and compete outside of Czechslovakia. I do remember stories about the Trump children spending summers back in Europe with Ivana’s parents.
Being too ‘strict’ about anything can sometimes have the opposite effect, depending on the personality of the kiddo in question. However, I think it’s pretty easy to not raise a full on BRAT. I didn’t agree with anything my parents ever told me/asked me to do, but I was respectful of others, maintained my ‘good heart’ and they didn’t put me off having kids of my own. They called me a brat all the time tho 😉
I really like her. She seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, and an honest/humble view of herself. It’s refreshing when you compare her to other children of privilege.
I agree. I don’t want to like her (ha!) because she seems on the outside to have it all, but I can’t help myself. I’ll have to check out her clothing line.
How funny! But this is Celebitchy where we agree to disagree. I really dislike this woman as much as I try to give her the benefit of the doubt. I once saw her at LAX and I’ve never seen a more entitled and, frankly, nasty person, even in LA.
My biggest issue with her is the whole I’m such a hard worker I work 16 hours a day and spend an hour and fifteen minutes with my daughter every evening because…well I am such a hard worker.
I’m a working mom. I’ve got two miracles who make my life both wonderful and crazy. I love my job but worry about my babies when I’m gone. I have to work. I’m a single mom and their dad doesn’t contribute. I don’t work for my dad and my office isn’t minutes from my home. And yet, I am able to spend time actually raising my children and loving them up…all without having PR photos taken of me lounging on a $20,000 settee with my beautifully dressed daughter. Bet that’s the most time shes spent with her daughter in a long time.
I know I’m judging her but I don’t understand why she has kids. If she intends to let other people raise them, it seems to me the only reason someone like her has children is because it’s expected of her. And we all know how much image means to the Trumps. It’s everything.
Sorry, as a mom who agonizes over every moment I have to leave my kids, I just don’t get women like her who could spend way more time with their kids AND still have the career of their choice. Most of us don’t have that luxury.
I’m not planning to be a mother, but regardless, I have extensive child care/education experience from various jobs and teaching. You know what’s funny? Really privileged and really poor kids have the same thing in common: neglect. Both poor and privileged parents check out due to work hours, drugs, and having had children for all the wrong reasons. It’s just that the rich parents have fancier jobs and more elegant (often prescription) drugs. I cannot tell you how many times my theory has proven accurate. Not to say that Ivanka is neglectful, but I evenb question how present she is in that little time she spends with her daughter.
@ Maigirl : In my ’20’s, I dated a guy who came from a very rich family. He said he spent his summers growing up with a nanny or at various activity camps, never with his parents. He said it was very lonely and he felt neglected because of it. So your comment is bang on.
Why is a single mother criticizing a child with two loving parents? Why did you bother having kids with someone who isn’t interested in them?
Put your own house in order before criticizing any one else’s.
Despite Donald’s reputation, The Trumps have always insisted that their kids learn to work hard. And now the Trump kids are expecting and teaching THEIR kids the same. They’re also nice and approachable. Nothing wrong with that.
Oh my;
Did this woman just say that you need an education (she graduated with honors), hard work and basic manners to succeed?
No bratty or spoiled kids, OMG – how dare she? Children are little gods, doesn’t she know?
In all seriousness, GOOD FOR HER! I am so sick and tired of bratty, entitled kids and that goes for kids of families of all incomes. A child can be spoiled regardless of if the family is rich or poor.
I wish I saw more moms like her.
you mean her child isn’t a special snowflake? 🙂
I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I’m a Brit expat who just went back for a couple of weeks. Granted I was smack in the middle of chav country, but I was amazed at the poorly behaved children, in restaurants especially. I asked others if they agreed with me, and they do. Where we were (between Liverpool and Manchester) if we had a contest between US children ad UK children, the US children would win.
I have to say that on a trip the Disneyland Paris I was shocked by the behavior of the British school children. There was some sort of holiday in England and large numbers of British school groups were at Disney. The children were rude, noisy and left trash all over the ground. Their language was very blue, they cut in line and many of the girls seemed to be dress in hooker drag. As a contrast I was in Disney World Orlando not long after and there were tour groups of children from Brazil and Argentina. These children were better behaved all around, mature and classy. I honestly wonder to what the difference is attributable.
aang: Thank you for that. These children would run around the restaurant screaming and their parents just sat there and ate. One little boy actually came up to my mother’s table and wanted to take some things from it. I was very careful of the Ugly American image (I’m British but I have an American accent), so I kept my mouth shut, but I wanted to ask the parents what were they thinking?
That being said, we were in York Cathedral and there were some school children there who were so cute and well behaved I wanted to skutch them!!
Oh please, kids are ornery everywhere.
Yesterday, I saw a 10-year-old pretend to hump a cup at QuikTrip. And I live in KANSAS.
I don’t think you can really extrapolate based on nationality. I think there are terrible parents everywhere. I have friends who think their bratty, spoiled kids are “adorable” and “independent.” Ugh.
The problem with kids is usually the parents.
OHEMGEE, I live in a British expat community and I thought it was just me….the behavior of children is appalling!! Just the other day, I was walking to the post office, stuck behind this very slow moving British family taking up the whole side walk. Managed to get by, went into the PO. As I was in there filling papers out, their kids came SCREAMING in the front door, stood in the lobby bickering and throwing things at each other and then…five minutes later…ran screaming out. Apparently mommy and daddy just let them wander into buildings they happen to be walking past for no apparent reason. Because the parents never even batted an eyelid, just kept walking. I don’t think they had a clue where their kids were.
DUDE. GET SOME DISCIPLINE UP IN THERE.
No nationality has the ability to say their children are better behaved. I have seen poorly behaved children everywhere I have traveled (and well behaved ones too).
I think Ms. Trump might want to look at her father before she starts talking about bad manners in her family (children and otherwise). He has exhibited some horrible manners and behaved like a enormous spoiled child. Monkey see…monkey do.
@StaCat1 – Ivanka is not responsible for her father’s behavior, only her child’s. She spoke about how her mother raised her. Considering how successful, healthy, and relatively grounded she is, which is not something you can say about a lot of children of privilege, I think her mother did a good job. Ivanka isn’t lecturing anyone, just talking about the kind of upbringing she wants to give her children. Besides, maybe she wants to make sure to counter The Donald’s potential bad influence :).
I’m really not trying to insult anyone when I say this but I lived in Canterbury for half a year and the children were not well behaved at all. I was very surprised – I can’t help but think of Harry Potter when I think of the English school system (dressy uniforms, polite manners, etc.) Unfortunately the reality was very different. It was a big shock to the system.
Thank you! I was raised by extremely strict parents who brooked no nonsense. Sometimes I didn’t like it, but I thank them for it now. So many people are unhappy because their parents raised them to think the world revolved around them and should give them whatever they want no matter how they act – and then when they grow up and enter the real world, they’re in for a very bad shock.
Good for Ivanka. Hope she sticks to her guns.
Faye, I completely related to your comment and I agree 100%. I had a strict education, went to a private german school (in portugal) that was also really strict, even though I was always considered kind of a “rebel blacksheep” because my parents were really conservative in an “european” way (I’m half (yuck!) “royal” blooded or whatever). I kept hearing people how “priviledged I was for attending a private school because kids were terrible in public schools. They couldn’t have been more wrong. Many kids there, from really good families were terrible brats! They felt really entitled and even bragged about how they were descendants of the royal family, about how they were in the yacht clubs, and private socialite clubs and this and that, it was terrible because they mistreated a lot of other awesome kids! I’m still really good friends with almost all my classmates, except for that little “queenies” group! Even today if I meet them and say a cordial but casual “Hello, how are you?” I can see their eyes shooting bullets at me just because I confronted them to stop bullying people and act their age (when we were like 16).
That is the exact plan I have for raising my kids. I work crazy hours in a lab, and plan on going back to work after spending the early part of the evening with them.
I don’t think this is news because most middle to lower class parents spend limited time with their kids. Quality = quantity
Shelley, I gotta disagree here. I don’t think quality =’quantity. But more quantity doesn’t always mean better. You have to find a balance. And this is where I really admire moms who must work to make ends meet and also take care of their children, because it is damn hard.
If Ivanka wants to spend 16 hours at the office, that’s her call. If she prefers working over being a hands-on mom, that’s her call, too. But there are still only 24 hours in a day, and with Ivanka’s schedule, she is not allowing adequate time to truly do hands-on parenting. And maybe that’s the way she likes it.
When her daughter grows up, and if she doesn’t confide in her mother because the mother-daughter bonds were too tenuous, (and with Ivanka’s schedule and baby number two on the way, this is very possible and even likely), Ivanka will have to deal with the repercussions of that, too. Sure, she performed great at the office. But how well did she mother her daughter and new child? If those two “acquisitions” aren’t more important than any business merger or acquisition, then methinks Ivanka’s head is not set just right.
And I don’t think anyone lies at their deathbed and thinks, “damn, I wish I’d spent more time at the office!” But I bet there are more than a few who wish for more time with their children.
If she is barely with her kids she cant be too upset if they turn out not how she wants.. leaving strangers to raise your kids means they will develop their characteristics… unless the dad is with the kids when the mum is not?
Exactly. How many times are celebs criticised for leaving their children with nannies all the time? Is it because she’s not an entertainer that people seem to be eager to celebrate her parenting method? She’s still a rich famous person who got where she is because she’s lucky to have been born in the Trump family. What she does is a choice, she’s choosing career over children. Which is fine, but don’t think that little time spent with your child is going to be fruitful in the long run. Even parents who work way less hours have a hard time spending time with their children due to household tasks etc.
Fact is, children are less and less influenced by their parents the older they get. They get friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, teachers, false idols e.g. celebrities and so much more. Parents are hardly in the picture when you consider the time they spent in school AND in front of the tv and computer AND hanging out with their friends or partying when they are teenagers.
Children hardly spend loads of time communicating with parents. Maybe during dinner time but that’s only an hour. If Ivanka isn’t around much now, she’s going to have a tough time later to influence her child.
You can’t put in a few hours of effort and expect a maximum outcome completely suited to your ideals. She’s in business, she should now how to get results ;).
Not trying to drag her, I respect her work ethic.
I agree with you and Dave. I had the same general thoughts that you have articulated so well.
Also, just wanted to mention that although I don’t post often, I do read the threads a lot and I really enjoy your comments! You seem to be clear-minded and level-headed so, anyway, a stranger a the ‘net enjoys your commentary, just thought I’d let you know 🙂
I can’t help but feel that, if a man said this, we would be praising him for spending evenings with his kid.
Personally I don’t mind her spending evening with her child just like I wouldn’t mind a workaholic dad but I do think that for both, the balance is way off.
I would find it horrible to have a man who is barely there for our child and puts work first. I would never procreate with that person. Life is too short to work all the time jmo.
And it’s great if both people have that workaholic mindset but if you want children, you have to make sacrifices.
The best thing to give a child is TIME and that time should be spent in a productive way such as really listening and communicating. And knowing the child is safe and loved. I don’t know how she can cram such an important part in only a few hours a day. Even Madonna spends more time with her children and that’s saying something.
Agree.
Ok, she can afford a nanny. How is a nanny interacting different from 10 hours at daycare, plopped in front of the TV to eat then video games until bed? I know families with professional parents, parents on welfare and families with stay at home moms who follow the plan of any and everything to entertain my kids other than me.
Yes they are in the same house but they aren’t teaching manners, academics or anything else…
Again how is the nanny plan with dedicated child time and lessons so bad?
I am so tired of the mommy whine about rich moms and how hard it is when I see kids that obviously have no upbringing even with SAHM.
I’m not saying ALL moms or ALL patents but there are a lot of brats out there.
What I’m trying to say is that even though working mothers may drop their kids off at daycare in most places they have to pick them up by 6pm. These kids are with their mother for the remainder of the evening. That mother also has to make dinner, check homework; give baths and other domestic things. Ivanka gets to come home for an hour or so for bath time then back to the office she goes. Other women are not afforded that luxury.
Ivanka, herself was raised by an army of nannies, and yet she reflects her parents’ values…..
I hate this nannies vs no nannies argument when lots of parents drop off their kids at daycare for most of the day. That is nannies by another name.
Well said @dave and @NM9005!
nannies and daycares are different experiences- not the same. believe me.
StaCat1 – both scenerios require that another person look after the child for long periods of the day.
it’s hypocrisy to say that one is wrong whilst indulging in the other because neither of you is spending time with the child.
With regards one experience being better than the other, that is an entirely different discussion.
@LAK. I never said either was wrong. But they are fundamentally different forms of childcare. It may be the same reasons to do so for the parent. But the experience of a child in daycare and a child with a nanny is VERY different. I have placed my child in both forms. What has been your childcare experience?
StaCat1 – The argument is whether one should condemn one over the other when they are essentially the same thing, not whether one experience is better than the other.
Since you wish to know my childcare experience, i interned for day care centres AND a nanny agency as a teen and during my university days. Both agencies are ran by relations, so i still go in from time to time to help out if i have the time.
From an even more personal perspective, i was raised by nannies for awhile,when day care wasn’t an option and i remember how both felt.
I also do not understand why people antagonize why some have nannies.
Because both of my parents work (my mom is an economic adviser to many companies and my dad has a mining/cement company)my sister and I spend most of our times with nannies (they took us to our tennis and riding lessons, supervised if we were doing our homework and things like that)but still my parents were always there for us, for they usually had lunch and dinner with us, called us every hour and knew everything we did, so as a result we are indeed very close.
Even now that I am not anymore living with them (I am studying law at Columbia University and my family is mainly based in Peru), they are still very present in my life.
I’m calling bullsh*t. Ivanka is a hypocrite to talk about childrearing. Visiting a baby twice a day for an hour is not childrearing. This child is a prop. Look at the pictures – she has no interest in her mother at all. There is no interaction between the two of them. Ivanka couldn’t even be bothered to pick the kid up, and the child is not looking at her. This kid is being brought up by nannies, as the next one will be.
I remember reading that as a baby Prince Charles was cleaned up by the nurse and presented to Queen Elizabeth for an hour each evening. Ivanka has clearly made work her priority and the kids will know it. She should not expect them to make HER a priority when they are older.
BINGO.
I think the argument has become skewed..
It’s not about her being a woman or nannies vs daycare or rich people vs poor people…
It’s that she has made these comments about not accepting her kids to be bratty or whatever… But the point I was making is that if she has almost no involvement with her kids most of the time, she can’t really be too upset if they don’t reflect exactly what she wants them to. You can direct a nanny to do this and that but they are a different person who has been raised in a different way and will do things differently!
These are all the things the nanny will teach the child? I don’t get it. I know we are not supposed to ever “judge” rich celebrity women because that is now considered “bullying” and misogynistic. But why is she having babies if she is really never around them? Good thing she’s available for the photo ops.
I dont see the point of her having a kid. it’s one thing if you have to work two jobs to support a kid. but to have her money and not spend more time with her kid is ridiculous! why even have a kid? and i would say the same for a man doing that. if you cant make time in your life for kids, you shouldnt have them. imo
Thank You Joanna! I cannot believe the “she’s so wonderful” crowd that seems to have been taken in by this PR piece of you know what.
She’s a very fortunate woman. She doesn’t need to make a hard choice between working to put food on her family’s table, or spending time with her daughter. She could take her daughter to her office which I’m sure is quite luxurious and spend time with her as she “works.” Sorry to sound so snarky but it’s 5:50 p.m. and I am on my way home. When I get home, I’ll make dinner for me and my two babes, spend time with them for a few hours finding out what they did during the day and then bath time. Finally, we’ll have story time and off to bed.
Then, I”ll do the laundry, clean up the house, make their lunches, make my lunch, iron my clothes for tomorrow and look at what activities they have tomorrow that I either need to sign parental approval slips for or need to participate in.
I’m lucky. I work for a company that gives me the opportunity to leave early for parent teacher conferences and recitals and soccer games. I know so many women who don’t work for someone who cares. They struggle with feeling like they’re failing their kids because they can’t be there all the time for them.
What I’m trying to get at is that for this entitled woman to be supported because as fellow women we really shouldn’t judge other women…I’m sorry I can’t not judge her. And, if it were a man,I’d feel the same way, believe me.
I’m not judging her for wanting to work. Great. But why have kids? If you’re not going to spend more than 2 hours a day with them, not because you have to work 16 hours a day but because you’re choosing to do so, then why have them? The only reason I can see for this woman to have children is that it is expected of her.
Those kids will be raised by nannies and then sent to boarding schools. Then they’ll turn around and do exactly the same thing to their kids.
I agree with Ivanka on this, it’s absolute to teach kids manners. I don’t know why it has become such a negative word – manners, rules. Childhood is about learning so that we know how to be adults. Way too many parents these days let their kids do anything and everything without any sort of sense of responsibility and then I guess just magically expect them to be perfect adults when they turn 18. It just doesn’t work that way.
I have to give my sister (and my cousin!!) props for raising four amazing boys/men. They are just awesome and while their mothers were loving they didn’t let them get away with much either.
Amen. We have been working with ToddlerTarheelBuckeye on please, thank you, yes ma’am, yes sir. He’s great-especially on the yes ma’am/ yes sir, and THANK YOU. He has really grasped the concept of gratitude, and it is awesome. No prompting necessary, if we get him something or do somethng, he says thank you.
My husband and I are both big on please and thank you. You can ask for a lot more if you do politely.
+1. I don’t think enough emphasis is put on having good manners and respect for others (particularly for your elders) these days.
Yes, exactly. My kids range in age from 4-23, and ALL of them were taught manners.
My eldest shamed a group of youngish Marines at the mall when he was only two or three years old: there was a lady on the elevator who wanted to get off on that floor, and 3 or 4 Marines bulled into the elevator before she could exit. Once we were on the elevator (with the Marines) my son looked at me and said “You let people off the elevator before you get on.” And I told him “Yes, that’s right. It’s called being polite.”
not sharing is completely normal for toddlers and is just part of growing up. hope she doesn’t consider this spoiled at 3-6. peer interaction helps with that more than parental judgement.
there’s nothing wrong with being strict and setting minimal expectations on children. although, if you go too far you are asking for a never satisfied perfectionist that feels they can never please mommy and daddy or themselves.
she looks really really tired in the one picture.
Disagree…. kids always need to be told to share.. you cant expect them to come up with it on their own as it often never happens. If all of a sudden at 7 they are expected to share when theyve never been told before, it will be way more difficult to instill. It needs to be drilled in from infancy in all their interactions with others
I agree Dave. My brother, my cousins and I were all expected to share. Our parents would always get compliments on how polite we were, even as very young children.
We were raised to say please and thank you, share, and to respect other people. I don’t think there was ever really a time where we had a problem with sharing. It’s something you teach your children young. The only kids I’ve seen that have had really bratty attitudes were the ones where their parents would let them do anything they wanted, and then laugh when they did something bratty. Things like that are only cute for so long, then there’s going to be a big wake up call for either the parents or the poor kid.
I don’t think that is what poppy was saying. She is saying (I think) that it’s normal for kids that age to struggle with sharing (she is right). And that parents and caregivers need to encourage sharing while also being aware that it will eventually be easier when the child gets older.
Also I don’t think you have to worry about getting your infant to share 🙂
Developmentally, children don’t truly begin to grasp the idea of sharing until after age 2. You can teach it, but you also have to wait until they truly grasp the concept.
I wholly agree. My daughter just turned two and has been sharing for quite some time: toys, food, anything really. While all children develop at different times and you should not necessarily expect children to grasp things by a specific age (ie: potty training, language, etc.), we have always modeled, encouraged and expressed the importance of sharing, kindness, caring and manners. Luckily the little one has really taken on those ideas and even spreads them to other kids she plays with; when she shares she will tell the other kids “it is very nice to share. Sharing is more fun!” (That is what we always told her lol)
Personally, i think you should start the way you mean to go on rather than when the books tell you.
It is fact that babies develop at different rates. The books might say 2 is too young, but some children will have developed by then and some will not develop until later.
If you can potty train a 2yr old, you can certainly train behaviours into them.
She must be extremely passionate about her work. I myself would die doing those hours. There’s only so much time I can focus on work for the day before my brain goes blah. Plus I don’t think an hour or two a day with my child would be enough for me, I would have withdrawals!! I work a good 43/45hours a week and that’s plenty for me and my work life balance. But different stokes for different folks
She has her own jewelry line and it is absolutely gorgeous. I just wish I could afford it.
If she’s working 16 hours a day it doesn’t really sound like she has to tolerate any kind of kid. I spend more time with my dog.
Good call
Um…..I am sort of struck by…what math says about all this. 16 hours at work. 1 hour 15 minutes with child in the evening. So we are up to 17 hrs fifteen minutes of her day. Now let’s assume maybe 15 minutes in the morning with said child too. We have now accounted for 17.5 hours. Showering, dressing, undressing, selecting earrings and bags from her collection, reaching into massive closet, washing and combing and styling hair daily, getting ready for events too? An hour altogether at a low but only assuming there are three magical dressers helping her perhaps: and we now have 18.5 hours of her day noted. Ok, but….eating three or two or one meal – an hour for ALL intake? 19.5 hours. Waving at husband from afar? .5 hours of contact/calls/glances daily, may include putting on shoes or gulping coffee and peck on cheek. So that is now…. 20 Ivanka hours. Being in cab or car to and from work, four times a day (as she goes home in the evening to see her offspring then races back and home again and maybe elsewhere to an event) ….low low side at .5 hours. So we are at 20.5 hours. Gym? .5 hours at a low low daily? Okay, we now have 21 hours of her day tallied up. Meaning she sleeps for 3 hours then, and never romps with her husband as I cannot seem to work it into the schedule? Or maybe that is quickly included with the wave or the workout or the sleep time or they do it in the towncar on the way to work and back.
I think she is talented and great in many ways and yet…is this a headgame or PR? Because….math.
Unless there is an alternative universe that runs in Ivanka hours….
I was thinking the same but felt I already posted too much. We have this superwoman who is celebrated by women but nobody ever questions if it’s even logical. Despite all the claims that women can’t do every thing nor should they (which is true).
Also, to switch from work mode to mommy mode for an hour and then back to work is also very hard. It’s not just a physical feat. I don’t know how she does it (if she does it at all).
She always looks great, spends time with her child, gets pregnant (so she’s having sex :D) has a great career she manages by clocking in 16 hours. No, something is off. She is pinching away hours somewhere. Even with help, you still have to ‘waste’ time with showering and make-up etc like you wrote.
Unless, she’s using Hermione’s time turner.
Not impossible, I work long hours and one can conduct business all kinds of places all the time.
Turn on teleconference, while listening in bring up celebithcy, talk to stock broker, schedule dog for groomer etc…
Send Secretary for lunch eat while working or taking care of business.
Walk to work or drive and conduct business on blackberry. Pedicure while reading contracts. It all gets done with time to spare.
My big deal is work is work and when I shut it down for the day – I AM DONE. No calls, emails or anything else allowed unless between 6:00 am and 7:00 pm. On rare occasion I might work form home at night….kids understand when you refuse work to be with them.
@NM9005 — time turner! Yes.
Liberty – You are assuming that she isn’t disciplined enough to do all that or that she doesn’t have the staff to keep her on schedule?
The kind of life she leads and the demands on her time require a level of discipline and domestic staff that ordinary people can’t or won’t tolerate.
Many personal decisions will be handed over to staff to make her life easier so she can live her life.
to use a different example, Maggie Thatcher famously run the country on 4hrs sleep daily, whilst insisting on being home every night to cook her family dinner.
@liberty, this exactly. The trumps are great at embellishing their accomplishments.
@LAK — not at all. I assume she has great discipline. I work 12 hour days myself and sometimes more. We all multitask and do things on top of other things. My point was that math does not support a daily 16-hour-a-day schedule in the sort of life she leads. Yes she probably works in the car and while working out etc. But then you are talking diluted focus as well. She may as well claim 22 hours (nonstop thinking and dreaming for a hour of her sleep). My point was the PR effort to make this seem superb and desirable or that number of hours equals quality hours.
@Liberty
I imagine she counts the commute, emailing, and maybe even personal prep time as part of the 16 hours. “Working a 16-hour day” could mean that 16 hours are taken up by something other than leisure and sleep. Thus leaving the remaining 8 hours for family, rest, and reverse cowgirl.
Ivanka is a huge liar. End of story.
Maybe I’m remembering wrong, but I thought the interview where the ’16 hours’ came from posed it differently. I remember it as more of an “up to 16 hrs” as opposed to “16 hrs everyday. Period.”.
I think that is more believable. I wirk16 hr days sometimes, but not everyday. My normal day is 10-12.
Lots of rich New York ladies don’t spend any time with their kids. At least she’s going to work.
life is too short to work 16 hours per day, even if you love your job
This woman is my secret girl crush. Hopefully that’s not what is talking here but I like how she wishes to raise her kids. One can tell that she was raised just how she said she was because there is no Ivanka Trump sex tape, no rehab stints, no cutting or mood disorders, no DUI’s, no attempted music career etc. Ivanka utilizes her name and she works her tail off… I don’t even know how many noncelebrities manage that.
yesterday my coworker brought her almost 2 yr old niece along with her parents who are visiting to the office and she is sooooo super precious!
wth is it about lil’ 2 yr old girls?
they are like cherubs personified. *gush* 😀
I’m sure I will get flack for this, but no mother should spend only 2 1/2-3 hours a day with her baby. My oldest is entering hs in the fall and if I could reverse time, I would! You don’t get those years back. I stayed home with all 3 of my children and went back to school as a preschool teacher only when my youngest was in 1st grade. I’m not faulting working moms at all. It’s an extremely hard balancing act and I give them all the credit in the world, however 16 hr work days are just ridiculous. It’s not as though she’s struggling to put food on her table.
I agree with you — and I’m not a stay-at-home mom. I’m a working mom and single/only parent. I’m very fortunate to have a white collar job that is pretty flexible, and I do pretty much everything I can to shorten my son’s time away from me — especially when he was an infant and toddler. If I could pick him up a little early or go to work a little late, I always choose that. Even if it means staying up late doing make-up work after he goes to bed. When they are little, they just need you around, even if it’s not “quality” time.
Many women don’t have the luxury of flexibility, but I don’t understand someone who does have the option deliberately choosing to be away from their child so much during their formative years.
“Many women don’t have the luxury of flexibility, but I don’t understand someone who does have the option deliberately choosing to be away from their child so much during their formative years.”
…but don’t we ALL have the luxury in the sense that we don’t HAVE to have children if we don’t have the *ideal amount of time* (whatever THAT is, but plenty of people here seem to have an opinion about it) to spend with them??
But every woman is entitled to make that choice, to decide that they want to find a way to balance children and their profession. So why does it always have to be that one is valued more than the other? I think as a society we just assume that a woman, particularly a mother, is working because it’s lucrative or because they *have* to, without stopping to think that maybe her job is something she genuinely enjoys-maybe it gives her a feeling of accomplishment, a sense of belonging and contributing, a feeling of being self-sufficient, among other things. Maybe Ivanka works because (GASP!) she GENUINELY enjoys it.
I just don’t understand this strange societal perception that women have to renounce something that may be important to them, that may ultimately make her a BETTER mother, because society says that sacrificing everything for the children is “normal” for women and that being a mother is more important than a woman’s happiness. …and don’t get me started about how society perceives men and fatherhood-that’s a whole OTHER story. Women LOVE to make each other feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids while men are at the bar watching the baseball game, throwing back beers and high-fiving each other.
I just don’t get all the judgement on this board. At all. But then again, women kind of scare me in general…..
@theOriginalKitten – *like*
I completely agree with your very well worded comment.
Well said, Original Kitten.
Women shouldn’t be shamed because they care about their careers. Women being passionate about what they do should be applauded, regardless of whether they have children or not. It’s beneficial to society as a whole, guys.
Original Kitten: You read my thoughts perfectly!
Right! And there is a HUGE difference between HAVING to work a 16 hour day to get the bills paid and CHOOSING to work a 16 hour day because it fulfills you.
Posted in the wrong place
The problem with that is that there are probably a lot of fathers out there who wouldn’t be spending much more time per day with their kids because of work and such, where’s the judgement and shaming for them? I understand Ivanka is slightly different because she doesn’t have to work but in today’s society most families have to have two working parents and reserving judgement purely for the mothers isn’t right.
I’m sure I will get flack for this, but no mother should spend only 2 1/2-3 hours a day with her baby. My oldest is entering high school in the fall and if I could reverse time, I would! You don’t get those years back. I stayed home with all 3 of my children and went back to school as a preschool teacher only when my youngest was in 1st grade. I’m not faulting working moms at all. It’s an extremely hard balancing act and I give them all the credit in the world, however 16 hr work days are just ridiculous. It’s not as though she’s struggling to put food on her table.
I’m a working single mom and I only spend 2 1/2 to 3 hrs a day with my six-month old. (That’s during a work day. Obviously, I’m with her all weekend.)
This story makes it sound like she’s not spending any time with her kid, but this is actually pretty normal for working parents of young kids. That’s because kids go to bed so early. My kid goes to sleep at 7:30 p.m. and doesn’t get up until 7:30 a.m.
The only difference between me and Ivanka (well, one of many differences) is that she goes back to work when her daughter goes to bed.
+1 Amy!
No you aren’t that different, single mom or not, from any working parent with small children.
It’s just easier to get righteous on a really successful woman than an single mom. So she works after her child goes to bed – that’s why she’s successful!
Exactly. Their huge sleep time makes for precious little Mommy & Daddy time.
I work too – I have to. My kid is in a daycare he loves and comes home smelling of a different perfume every day from all the cuddling. It takes him 15 minutes to leave because he has to say goodbye to *everyone.* I’m jealous of all the time they spend with him, but that’s my problem and I won’t make it his. I’m glad he’s happy and developing ahead of the curve.
In a sense I agree, but then I know many stay at home moms, PT working moms that while physically there with their kids py no attention to them at all – thus all the brats you see around.
Parking your kid in front of the TV or video game, shuffling them to events, sports etc with other people is not hands on parenting or “time with kids”.
Love me some Celeb-itchy, but if you are typing and reading here you aren’t interacting with your children….even if you’re in the same room. Now is that bad? No, not if they get dedicated time every day – but I really don’t think most parents dedicate even an hour and a half specifically to their kids..really ask a parent what time is specifically for kids and nothing else (6-7:30, 5- 6:30)..they think just being around them wrapped up in other stuff is just fine – or the kids wrapped up in other stuff is fine….
@jl, I work when my children sleep, or when my husband gets home from work and I post here when they’re napping, sleeping or spending time with mom-mom. I can honestly say that I don’t forgo my time with the kids to work OR surf the web. Please don’t assume we’re ignoring our kids if we’re posting here. Most of us are, more likely, avoiding work or housework 😉
@jl, I work when my children sleep, or when my husband gets home from work and I post here when they’re napping, sleeping or spending time with mom-mom. I can honestly say that I don’t forgo my time with the kids to work OR surf the web. Please don’t assume we’re ignoring our kids if we’re posting here. Most of us are, more likely, avoiding work or housework
@MorticiansDoItDeader
Excellent, that’s exactly the multi-tasking I’m talking about, where family is the priority – like posting while they nap, finishing work after they go to bed. That’s appropriate.
Unfortunately I know too many parents who just flat ignore their kids for their own pleasures all day, after work etc…..
Avoiding housework, UGH, I’ll take work over housework any day. Actually I’ll take work over staying home with kids because, done right, that is more work than any 16 hour / day corporate job and I’m just too old for that….
Right! And there is a HUGE difference between HAVING to work a 16 hour day to get the bills paid and CHOOSING to work a 16 hour day because it fulfills you.
Well, man plans, God laughs and children really are like a box of chocolates….not to mention the road to hell is paved with good intentions. She will raise her children according to the disposition of her children and work around that accordingly.
In other news, I dont think she’s going to age well.
She’ll have very little influence in her daughter’s life working 16 hour days and being a weekend parent. My mom was a corporate executive and worked a similar schedule. I was raised by the sitter and have very few memories of my mother. I hope she chose a great nanny, because THAT is who the child will be learning her values from.
Why breed like this chick if you’re not going to spend time with your offspring, it’s not like she has no choice like some poor single parents.
+1
You’re right, it would be different if she were poor, but she isn’t. This is just bad parenting.
So it’s poor parenting if you have means, and perfectly OK to have kids if you are single and broke.
Why the sympathy for one and not the other. Kids are not a “right” for anyone.
You dont get it. When you are the daughter of a billionaire married to a billionaire’s son and you are a workoholic working 80 hours/week it is unexcusable to dedicate less than 2 hours a day to your daughter. Women all over the world balance work/motherhood and the standard hours are 40/week. Some women have to work a full job and a part time job to supplement their income. This woman is choosing to work the equivalent to two full time jobs leaving her daughter to be raised by other people. If you dont have time for your daughter then dont have more children! kids need their mom, the mother is the most influential figure in any kids life. I used to think of Ivana as a very smart woman, I lost all respect for her.
Well, I said it before and I’ll say it again: working 16 hours a day when you don’t have to and only seeing your child for maybe two hours a day is inexcusable. Why bother having a second child? I respect that she loves to work but parenting is a job too; one that should be taken seriously.
I agree 100% with you. Unexcusable that this multimillionaire woman is working 80 hours a week.
Ah yes, another day on C/B, another day for The Mommy Brigade to get up-in-arms…
hee hee hee
😒
…don’t read it then.
Just because I READ it, doesn’t mean I have to LIKE it.
@tok no it doesn’t. But you made imo a condescending comment on basically everyone on this thread. Which frankly I didn’t LIKE when I READ it.
It wasn’t directed to anyone in particular and it’s not my fault that you took it that way-that’s on you. You could always take your own advice and NOT read my comment?
@tok I said it was my opinion. I said that’s how I took it. I did exactly what you did by commenting. You don’t seem to like it that much either.
I didn’t find your comment as cute as you did. That’s all.
Mmm…wasn’t trying to be cute.
Here’s a thought-if you don’t like what I have to say-simply don’t reply to my comment.
That simple, hon.
And yet you don’t seem to like what I said, but still bothered responding even this far. And if you took your own advice, half your comments on this thread would be gone. Guess it’s not so simple is it. We’ll both take our own advice and end our day that way. Night.
But yet most of you hate Will and Jada! They may have weird parenting techniques, but at least they actually spend time with their kids.
I won’t comment on her parenting, but working 16 hours a day sounds like hell on earth to me. I understand that a lot of people love their jobs, but I personally love life and other people and experiencing new things. Yeah, sounds awful to me.
I agree. I love living my life. I wouldn’t trade my life for hers, for anything.
IKR? I would never want to work that much. Call it poor work ethic or whatever, it’s not kids (don’t have ’em, won’t). I just don’t think all that money is any good if you have no time to use it.
Honestly, I like my job (medical research) more for all the free time it affords me than I do for the fact that I’m actually having a positive impact on the world.
Damn hedonists we are.
Meh all kids are different as are parents and everyone is entitled to raise them as they see fit. But if I were her I wouldn’t have said that out loud,she basically just set herself up for having a terror her second time around.
I loved problem child!
Why have kids if you don’t want to spend time with them? She could work a 12 hour day and spend 4 more hours a day with her child but doesn’t? A child needs to know they are a priority. Obviously, work is the number one priority for her, not her baby. Sorry, I find that sad.
Better a child be “spoiled” than have a mother who’s never around. I think she’ll really regret not being around to see her children’s milestone moments one day.
I like Ivanka very much. I’m glad to hear that she cares about what type of person her child turns out to be. I’m glad she wants her to be polite and mannerly. I just feel like there will come a day when she regrets that she poured so much time into work. In a way, I like that she makes sure to set aside specific time with her daughter but in another way it’s so sad to me that she has to pencil her daughter into her schedule.
When her day comes and she’s on her deathbed, is she going to think—I’m so glad I spent so much time at work. Or is she going to think—-I wish I had more time with my family?
And, for what it’s worth, I feel it’s equally sad when a man devotes his whole heart, soul and life to his work.
Well at least your comment is fair and balanced, which is more than I can say for some.
Totally agree! Wrote something similar before I read your post.
I like any Mom who recognizes that “Because I said so” is a perfectly reasonable parenting technique.
I like her and the kid always looks happy. I tend to think she overstates her work life because she doesn’t want people to think she’s building a career solely on nepotism.
I think her opinions are pretty random and meaningless since she spends pretty much zero time at home. Someone else is raising her child. Most mothers in that position do it out of financial necessity, they don’t go around bragging about it.
As it is very obvious she is NOT rasing her child, I hope she has very good nannies. It looks to me that even though Ivana is very intelligent she doesn’t have the patient to deal with a 2 year old. Her penthouse looks inmaculate, I am sure touching the furniture with sticky fingers is a big no no in their house.
So…does she have time for her husband?
Sorry but I WHOLLY reject the idea that a mother who works 60 hours a week because she wants to is somehow less virtuous than a woman who works 60 hours a week because she “has” to. “Has” being a relative term anyhow because there are some mothers who work because they want to live a certain lifestyle, even though they could potentially stretch their husband’s salary to be a (more stressed) stay-at-home mother. And you know what? THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
So my cousin is a Cancer research scientist who spends 10AM-2PM setting up experiments in a lab, she then comes home from 2PM-7PM, when she goes back to the lab until 12AM to check on her experiments, take notes etc. There are some weeks she may work 60 hours a week while her husband is home, filling in the parenting gaps between when he can. She has PLENTY of time to visit with her child in between that, but people on this board would suggest she quite her job doing Cancer research, which would greatly benefit society as a whole, because she needs to be home with her kids 24/7? I mean…to what, watch them sleep at night?
What about my friend who (GASP!) voluntarily works as a teacher, but is married to a man who makes close to $500K a year. She doesn’t have to work but she finds her job rewarding, she is a favorite among students, parents and staff and is potentially impacting children’s lives on a daily basis. She should quit right? Or should she just be shamed into staying home, because you know, helping society and interacting/assisting 100 kids a day isn’t as good as being available 24/7 for her OWN kids. If she quit her job, some other mother’s kids might get a SHITTY teacher who’s working there because he/she *has to* and not a passionate one who cares about children.
My point is that women have a LOT more to contribute to society than just birthing and raising kids who will work/play in a society created by MEN.
We are not simply baby-making robots and to relegate us to such a role is not only entirely unfair, but completely SEXIST. We are teachers, scientists, politicians, astronauts, doctors, nuclear physicists AND mothers and we have every right to be both.
Look, I don’t have kids and I was raised by a stay-at-home mom, my dad worked and made ok money, but things were tight.
Having a stay-at-home mother was AMAZING, I’m not gonna lie. It was great to know I wouldn’t have to stay in the nurse’s office for more than a few minutes before my mom would be there to get me. It was great having snacks ready for us and a wonderful woman there to greet us after school and ask how our day was. But I don’t think that MY way or how I was raised is the ONLY way to raise children. If you can’t grasp this concept then at least know this: as a society, we don’t shame men for working all day, even if they’re voluntarily doing so. So just understand if you shame women for that, and not men, you are quite simply, very sexist.
Edit: sorry for the long comment/rant and extra-special thanks to anyone patient enough to read it 😉
Ivanka says she works 16 hr. days which if you do the math is 80 hrs. a week.
@ TOK: LOVE LOVE LOVE your comments.
@the original kitten, I can appreciate your argument about how women should be valued as more than just “baby makers.” I’ve found a happy balance between work and parenting, but I do think one will suffer at the expense of the other. We can’t be all things to all people. I chose to spend days with my children and do trade work because I love and value my career. I’d love to work full time, but it would be at the expense of my children. I say this as someone with an upbringing very different from yours (and much like Ivanka’s daughter). I was raised by the sitter. She dropped me off and picked me up from school, made my lunch, fed me dinner, tended to my wounds etc., while my mother conquered corporate America. I have very few memories of mom, other than her buying me nice things with all the money she made working 12 hour days. It’s a very lonely existence that I wouldn’t wish it on anyone (particularly if they have the means to spend more time with their children). Furthermore, I don’t think most of the ladies here are saying that she should forgo her career to be a SAHM. They’re simply saying she’s in the position to scale back her hours and devote more time to her children.
@Mort-The implication is that the kids aren’t getting proper care when she’s not there..but we don’t know that. One of my closest friends growing up had a nanny that basically raised her-her father was the pres of Gillette and her mother, while technically a stay-at-home mom was NEVER really “present” because she was always involved in charities and social events, not engaging with the children at all. My point being that being a SAHM does NOT guarantee that you’ll be a great mom, nor does cutting back hours to what..? …what society or some other mother dictates is the appropriate amount of time to spend with your kids? So anyway, both the aforementioned child and her bro were adopted and essentially raised by their nanny and they turned into AMAZING, successful adults. Truthfully, their nanny likely did a better job than their mom could have or wanted to.
So I reserve judgement when it comes to this.
…and the way you describe your mom is EXACTLY the relationship I had with my dad growing up. He was a ghost-like presence that I rarely saw. I didn’t develop a REAL relationship with him until he retired and I’m not gonna lie-it wasn’t an ideal situation. But he was NEVER subjected to the amount of judgement that women are, or any judgement at all TBH. It was just accepted that that’s what a man does; he works all day and he doesn’t have to raise the kids, that’s not his “role” or obligation in society. I’m sorry, but as much as I respect your opinion, I just can’t support the double-standard. If people want to get angry about Ivanka working XX amount of hours a week then they should get pissed at her husband as well. He also doesn’t “have” to work but he does and society not only accepts that, but doesn’t bat an eyelash. A paternal figure is JUST as important as a maternal figure. In fact, I would argue that the overwhelmingly prevalent lack of paternal guidance is almost a taboo topic in today’s society. Let’s be fair and put the burden on BOTH parents’ shoulders.
As I said before, I don’t think I’m projecting in my opinion-I don’t have a dog in this fight as I had an amazing SAHM. I just think that we owe it to ourselves as women to support each other’s choice when it comes to balancing work and family, instead of judging and condemning.
Sorry-I should clarify that they were originally adopted, not adopted by their nanny 😉
@MorticiansDoItDeader, I fully understand your point of view and that you want spend more time with your kids as oppose your mother did. But as someone who has had an upbringing like you (and in this case to little Arabella), I think that every women should been able to choose whatever it is better for them and makes them feel fulfill.
When you are the daughter of a billionaire married to the son of billionaire and you have a very well paid job and several business it is wonderful that you have the work ethic to spend 80 hours/week at your manhattan office. BUT when you have a 2 year old girl it is un acceptable that you spend hour and a half with her AND you are expecting another child who will have to share the hour and a half you put aside for motherhood. Being a mother is a privilege and something to be taken very seriously, it is very shi–y to have kids just to have an army of nannies to raise them. Thats the part you dont get, I guess you dont have any kids.
@Lulu – It’s really rude to judge someone so harshly because they happen to have different views than yours on raising children. Many working parents raise very functional and successful children, whereas being a stay at home mother does not guarantee those traits in your child by any stretch of the imagination.
One person doesn’t get to be the arbiter of what is “unacceptable” parenting (unless it involves abuse) just because they’ve procreated.
completely agree Faye, you said it a lot nicer than I planned. I get so tired of hearing this go to parental response..
My mom is a part-time French teacher and she only does it because she says ‘it’s something I do for me’. She doesn’t need to because my dad has his own medical business and makes enough money for everyone in this family to live comfortably. My mom loves teaching and although I am of course too old to really rely on my mom, I’ve got a younger sister and I take care of her when my mom is working (driving her to and from school/activites/etc, make sure she eats, help with homework) even though i also have my own job. I don’t really see anything wrong with mothers working because they want to. In fact I think it’s great, it gives them a sense of accomplishment outside of house/family and something that is ‘theirs’.
@TheOriginalKitten – It’s probably too late to post this, but I just had to express my love for your post. You encapsulated so much of what I feel about this issue. Thank you for expressing it so well.
It really bothers me when so much (not ALL) of the stay-at-home-mommy brigade shames the working mothers. I’ve seen so many great kids who were raised by working parents, and many kids with SAHM who were bratty because they were used to being the center of someone’s universe. My mother had a demanding, full-time career (doctor), and I had an an excellent nanny, so I don’t consider myself deprived in any way.
Moreover, it really is about the quality of time you spend with your child. My mother and father were not only strict with us but very aware of everything going on in school, with our friends, etc. — it always amazed me how involved they were with every little detail!
I hate to say it, but it seems to me that a lot of the SAHM mothers who make these pronouncements against working mothers have issues themselves. If all you are is a mother, what was your identity before? What will it be after your kids grow up and leave the house? Could some of these parents perhaps be using their kids to fill a void?
Maybe it’s because my parents were European, and in their day, at least, European culture did not promote constant contact between children and parents, and having a nanny was quite common. But honestly, just because a child may *want* to have their parents’ attention 24/7, is that a good thing? Just to play devil’s advocate, assuming that a parent is well-informed about and active in their kids’ lives, couldn’t you make the argument that it might actually be better for children to see that not everything revolves around them, and that their parents have interests and needs too? To me, it teaches empathy.
One thing I do agree on is, raising kids with manners seems to be a dying art. 🙁
Annoyed by how much is being made over the hours she works vs how much time she spends with her kids.
How often is that topic brought up about her male counterparts?
Right? it is double standard.
Some people are annoyed that she’s a woman and not spending time with her kids – I am not at all annoyed by that.
It’s that she made a public comment about what she won’t ‘tolerate’ with her kids, but then spends near no time with them to ensure it doesn’t happen……
It is a pretty stupid thing to say seeing as someone else will be raising them.
I have two girls (almost 7 and 4). I can tell you right now teaching them manners is a 24/7 job. It takes a hell of a lot more than an hour and 15 minutes a day!! Wanting your kids to have manners is respectable and appreciated. But its a daily/hourly/minute by minute constant thing. I hope she has a nanny with her definition of manners. Because that is who is teaching her daughter manners.
Totally Agreed. So many overweighed Kids with Problems Around today. Why?
I went to school w/Ivanka in the south of France, probably before MorticiansDoItDeader did (I think Ivanka was still in HS then). I interacted w/Ivanka a couple of times, and she was polite, thought she had bud in front of me in line, apologized, and stood behind me. She could have stayed @the 5 star hotel in town that her daddy had connections with, but she chose to stay in the 2nd world dorms we had. Her mom came to visit & took her out to dinner, held the door for me & my friends as we came down. No airs about them, although Ivana’s outfit was over the top (natch). Impressive, since I cannot STAND The Donald or his rug.
I agree w/LAK that the 3 of them were raised by Ivana mostly, and that is why they turned out so well. Not surprised to hear that she made that comment, given my interaction w/her.
I just don’t understand why anyone would have children and then spend less time with them than the help they hire to take care of them.
Good for Ivanka, I hope her daughter turns out as great as she seems to be: very down to earth and kind.
So she sees her kid for a couple of hours a day? The why the freak did she have a child? So she could design a line of children’s clothing??
Pffft! She can keep her GPA and her fake pedigree, stupid girl.
I find it sad that Ivanka like so many other career motivated women are workaholics. This is an excessive behavior for both men and women , eventually taking a toll on the marriage, family and health. Children grow very fast and it takes tremendous patience to stay home with little ones all day for many years. I stepped away from corporate America and a decent salary/benefits for 17 years to raise 3 children, to care for an ailing mother who has since died, and to caregive other sick family members. At 51, I don’t have Ivanka’s bank account, jewels or swanky apartment but I have three amazing kids(20, 17 and 9) because I gave them my TIME. Time with children always TRUMPS everything. No parent should completely tout their parenting success until their children are grown , educated and independent. Obviously, I still have many years of active parenting ahead of me. Children of the rich are rarely independent;the family name is always there to open doors. I have more respect for struggling single mothers who sometimes work two jobs with no help from dead beat Dads or family; they do not have the luxury that Ivanka does. Ivanka works because she wants to work. Many women work because they need to work to pay basic bills.There are also women who work part-time, helping with the finances while preserving important family time. Some women want to work because they are more materialistic and are not willing to sacrifice. And lastly, there are bored women, empty nesters, who return to work after children are gone. Every woman makes a choice. Celebitchy should revisit Ivanka in 15 to 20 years and see how successful her workaholic lifestyle impressed her children.
As much as I like Ivanka, she should just grow a golden pair and admit that she has a great nannie who is raising her child to be well mannered, selfless, and considerate.
Entitled loser. “Work?”
Suuurrreee.
Also,
Nice set of horse teeth.
Not a fan.
Well, her nannies better hop to then.
I would respect her choices more if I thought they were truly her choices and not somehow influenced by her environment. For example, when she turned up with her boob job I was totally taken aback because I thought she was so grounded that she would never have someone slice and dice her body to give her bimbo boobs. (And I still, to this day, think they are bimbo boobs.) But then my first thought was that she is just as insecure as everyone else, if not more so, and wanted to fit in with Daddy’s standard of a beautiful and desirable woman. I REALLY lost a ton of respect for her. So now I question everything she does, is it for herself or is she trying to live up to someone else’s standards.
Bottom line is I think she is running scared and her kids my suffer for it as it will probably catch up to her down the line.
I don’t think quality =’quantity when it comes to time spent with your children. But more quantity doesn’t always mean better. You have to find a balance. And this is where I really admire moms who must work to make ends meet and also take care of their children, because it is damn hard.
If Ivanka wants to spend 16 hours at the office, that’s her call. If she prefers working over being a hands-on mom, that’s her call, too. But there are still only 24 hours in a day, and with Ivanka’s schedule, she is not allowing adequate time to truly do hands-on parenting. And maybe that’s the way she likes it.
When her daughter grows up, and if she doesn’t confide in her mother or come to her first because the mother-daughter bonds were too tenuous, (and with Ivanka’s schedule and baby number two on the way, this is very possible and even likely), Ivanka will have to deal with the repercussions of that, too. Sure, she performed great at the office. But how well did she mother her daughter and new child? If those two “acquisitions” aren’t more important than any business merger or acquisition, then methinks Ivanka’s head is not set just right.
And I don’t think anyone is at their deathbed and thinks, “Damn, I wish I’d spent more time at the office!” But I bet there are more than a few who wish for more time with their children.
I am working as an au pair in France for parents that get home around 8pm every evening – about an hour before the kids go to bed.
I can really see the difference between them and other kids I’ve babysat in that they haven’t had that constant reinforcement of values/manners/behaviours.
The 7 year old has to be reminded EVERY single time to wash his hands after using the bathroom – basic stuff!
They eat with their mouths open… don’t use cutlery properly…they always interrupt when others are talking… things that parents would normally correct all the time but they aren’t there.
Why have kids if you are never around?
I guess I am weighing in on the other side-shame on me.
How could she even parent her child(ren) working those long days? I am now a single mom (shared custody) of two boys, 11 and 13, and my career-I was a lawyer, not a lot of job sharing there-disappeared when I had them-que sera, sera. I did wait unti 35 and 37 to have them so I could a achieve some of my ambitions. My ex, by comparison, continued his career as an architect unhindered (until I left) and has been extremely successful, financially and critically.
Since my younger son turned 3, I have found the opportunity to work as a consultant because my undergrad degree was in pharmacy, but the pay is not great merely because I can’t market enough..
My husband and I divorced when the boys ere age 6 and 8, for legitimate reasons I do not care to discuss here,
Why does this matter so much-because research has demonstrated that the first 5 years especially are critical for child development.
Why is she having them now in the first place? She is young enough to wait until her schedule becomes reasonable, or she could wind down now herself. She has other choices, but she is not pursuing them.
Re discipline-obviously the nannies aren’t pulling their load!