Lady Gaga has had a long-standing relationship with V Magazine. I’m not sure why. Then again, I’ve never really thought about it that much. Gaga used to write (and maybe still does write?) columns for V Mag, and she done V covers several times in the past. So here she is again, starting up her publicity tour for ARTPOP (which drops in November). I told y’all to prepare yourselves last month. If this ARTPOP publicity tour is anything like Born This Way’s tour, Gaga is going to be on the cover of every magazine, and every day for the next four months will bring new and increasingly more inane quotes.

Now, all that being said, I actually kind of like this cover. She looks like Kristen Stewart, right? Right. The rest of the Inez and Vinoodh photos are NSFW, so I’m not even going to post them – you can see them here. Let’s just say this – I could draw her Gagaboobs from memory at this point. Here are some highlights from her interview, although you may not be able to follow it because you are a mere peasant, unable to understand the HIGH ART you are witnessing:

It’s all about Gaga, always: “I thought about Pop Art and how the dominant subject matter was always the celebrity or the pop-culture icon on the canvas, and then I thought to myself, But what I have tried endlessly to become through my work is a celebration of my differences through art, with myself as the canvas, as opposed to me as the subject matter, being put on the canvas. I don’t want to be an icon in just one form. I want to be an icon in many forms. So that’s where it began.”

Her look on the cover: “That look was very hard for me because that is how I looked when I was 19 until I was 21 years old … Maybe longer. I got my hair cut like that when I was 18 and all these really painful things happened during this time.”

She endures pain for ART: “I have an ability to experience pain for long periods of time – to endure it, whether it’s mental pain or physical pain. I think it’s because of my discipline as a child. I studied piano and then theater and then dance, so I have this ability to endure long periods of pain. But as a result, when I became an adult at 18, I allowed myself to stay in bad situations because I was able to take the pain. Although I was able to withstand a challenge for that period of time in my youth, the results were destructive. I was left a shell. Does anyone really know what I went through to get here?”

Battling an eating disorder and a drug problem: “Art was always the thing that drove me forward in these challenging and painful circumstances.”

[From V Magazine and People Mag]

“Does anyone really know what I went through to get here?” She, like, went to an elite private school and the school of HARD KNOCKS, y’all. You wouldn’t understand. She does cocaine. She’s deeper than you’ll ever know. She poses topless. FOR ART. Like you are even capable of “getting” it. LIKE YOU EVEN KNOW HER STRUGGLES. Gawd.

Speaking of my personal disdain for Gaga’s shtick these days, Gaga wants all of you to know that she doesn’t want you reading any blogger’s “criticism”. Because of ART. Trust her. Gaga tweeted this: “Dont focus on ANY blogger criticism. I have been a producer/songwriter/musician for over 10 years. Trust the artist bloggers are not critics… #STOPHarassingTheArtist we are here to entertain you.” Then she posted this YouTube video:

I guess it’s supposed to be HIGH ART reverse psychology? Gaga is, like, facing down the blogger criticism. Criticism like “Lady Gaga is no longer relevant.” And “Ever since Born This Way, she’s a flop.” And “DO NOT buy her new single ‘Applause’ on iTunes.” Etc. Is this effective? Or is it just a dumb stunt? Or do you not even care?

Here are some photos of Gaga out and about yesterday in LA. You don’t understand her makeup. You don’t even recognize ART happening before your eyes. Peasant.

Photos courtesy of WENN and V Magazine.