Here are some photos from Gwen Stefani’s baby shower over the weekend. Gwen did not do the shower at her house, nor did she make one of her friends host it at their house – all of these photos are from outside the Hotel Bel-Air, where it seems like a professional event planner did the baby shower. I’m also including a couple of shots from Gwen’s Instagram, and I’m rather enchanted with the blue-icing donuts. Mmm… donuts. I could eat that whole tray of donuts right now. Everything had a blue theme because Gwen is expecting her THIRD son. So much blue.
According to People Magazine, the baby shower was held in “the Wolfgang Puck dining room” of the Hotel Bel Air, and event planner Mindy Weiss organized the event. Guests included: Gwenyth Paltrow, Nicole Richie, Chelsea Handler, Rachel Zoe and Jessica Alba. Alba gets invited to all of the baby showers these days, I guess because of The Honest Company, her line of organic baby accoutrements. Everybody wants free baby crap from The Honest Company.
Honestly, I don’t begrudge Gwen a baby shower, especially since it seemed like she just got some friends to go to a hotel and they had a nice party with donuts and candy. But is it bad form? I’ve asked this before from the motherhood etiquette brigade: is it bad form to have a baby shower for your third kid? Is it bad form to have a baby shower when you’re rich enough to buy your own baby crap? If it was just a “I’m having a baby!” party, I’d say that was fine. But this is a legit baby shower, and everyone brought gifts and only ladies were invited. Hm.
Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and Instagram.
Yes, it is but these people poop money; therefore, it doesn’t matter. “Good form” is not part of their vocab.
You NEVER throw a shower for yourself. You NEVER throw a shower for a family member. A shower is only ever offered by friends, who can then ask the help of relatives etc. This is how I was raised anyway – my family is quite old school and sticklers for etiquette. But it does look like bad form, throwing a baby shower for yourself – it is like inviting people to give you presents.
I’m just curious – why is it bad to have your relatives throw you a baby shower? My in-laws INSISTED and refused to back down so I was put in a situation where I would have been really rude to turn it down. I had absolutely nothing to do with the planning or execution of the event, of course I was appreciative, but I’ve never heard that it’s bad form to have your relatives plan it (there were no baby showers around me when I was growing up).
If I have another baby though, I will absolutely refuse to have another baby shower.
Why is it bad? Who knows, probably because it looks like you are trying to get presents for a family member – in an old school way it might look a bit money-grabbing and tacky. I think the bad form when relative throw the shower is probably mostly in the case of immediate family (sisters, mother, grandmother a BIG no-no). Sisters-in-law are a bit more removed, almost in the category of friends, so I am sure no one thought it was tacky. For subsequent babies, your friends can just plan a SMALL casual brunch out in a restaurant (no theme, no presents for the love of God) to celebrate the new pregnancy. That is what we did and it was nice to mark the day and show off the scan photo etc and some friends brought cards but no gifts.
I’ve never heard of your relatives not throwing one for you. My aunt and my husband’s aunt threw both of my showers. The aunts always throw the showers in our families, baby and wedding, and I don’t see anything wrong with it. What if someone doesn’t have any friends who are willing to put that kind of time and effort into a baby shower? I know a few women that moved away from friends and family right before finding out they were pregnant so they had no one around to offer a shower. Should she just not let her relatives throw one for her even if they offer?
Look, we live in the Kardashian era, where is it apparently perfectly acceptable to become famous for starring in your own sex videos that include someone peeing on you. I don’t think etiquette has much of a bearing on anything we do as a modern society anymore. Everyone just makes up their own rules, which can be great. I am just stating what I have heard all my life about showers, and it has sort of rubbed off on me and ya, it does look sort of tacky to throw your own baby shower. But whatever people want to do to celebrate a new life is a-okay with me personally, I just wouldn’t do it. Se la vie!
When it comes to traditions and etiquette, I think that it only makes sense to continue that tradition because it has a great deal of value or meaning. “It’s just NOT done” or “Its always done!” is too weak of an excuse to get me to repeate a tradition or custom.
I think expectant mothers and their family and friends should be able to celebrate the life however and whenever they want.
Ha! I need to show this to my best friend’s sis-in-law. I have the honor of planning the shower, and she threw a temper tantrum to her brother until they backed down and insisted that she co-plan it. (Which wouldn’t have been an issue except she has the worst ideas that don’t fit the theme…)
I have never heard that it’s bad form to have a relative throw a baby shower. If it seems like a money grab, the same could be said for having a shower thrown for you by a friend. My mother threw my baby shower and she couldn’t have been happier to do it. If that is a rule ala Miss Manners it’s a silly “rule”.
What LadyJane said. You do not throw your own shower and relatives do not throw it. You are also supposed to have it at someone else’s house. And yes it is bad form to have a baby shower for the third kid. You are not even supposed to have one for the second one. One of my friends had a boy first and then had another shower when she found out years later she was having a girl and tried to justify it by saying that she needed girl stuff. I didn’t attend and I heard that the shower was lame since many of her own relatives didn’t show. I just sent a gift card for a babystore.
Fiance’s cousin had a second babyshower. I thought it was tacky, but his mom was like “But why?”. The whole family didn’t think it was a thing at all to have second or third showers. It baffled me. It sounds kind of awful, but I was raised in a more ‘well to do’ atmosphere with more clear rules on etiquette. I love how they are, and I don’t look down on them for their ways or anything, but sometimes it takes me a minute to think “ok, how are they going to see this”
The whole point of a shower is to get all the baby staples (while celebrating the pregnancy), so a second shower is pointless, and bad form, in my opinion. My SIL had a girl about six years after her boy, and my MIL threw her a “sprinkle,” with only a handful of attendees. It was cute and fun and I didn’t mind that it was technically her second shower because she didn’t make a big fuss about it.
Two of my cousins, who are sisters, did that. They both got pregnant with their second children around the same time and they had a joint “sprinkle”, which I had never heard of before but thought was cute. Since they were having the reverse of their firsts, they wrapped up and exchanged some items from their first children they wouldn’t need for the second. My cousin with the little boy packed up some boy-themed baby toys and swaddling clothes and gave them to her sister, who in exchange gave back a little dress and some blankets from her daughter’s infancy. I thought that was a nice compromise. They had a low-key, joint affair, which took the pressure off doing something for each of them, and instead of asking for gifts (which even my anti-baby brain knows is rude), they made a fun game of exchanging gender-themed items they weren’t going to need the second time around. It also had the bonus of recycling goods and creating family keepsakes.
That just sounds mean, and one would think that the passive aggression was actually more of an etiquette breach.
I had my 2 boys 10 years apart and had nothing left of the baby stuff and needed everything. So they had a shower for me
Although Miss Manners tends to frown on a relative having a baby shower for an expectant mother, modern society does not frown upon a family member hosting a shower, no matter their socioeconomic status.
And neither does Emily Post. It’s wedding showers that are not supposed to be hosted by family.
Totally agree, ladies. However, if Gwen Stefani is having a shower for herself, it is tacky.
Well, obviously the gifts aren’t because she needs the stuff in a financial sense. This is a get-together to socialize and meet up with family and old friends. Normally, when you criticize someone for having another baby shower it’s because you think they’re “gift grabby.” This is not the case. The people are there for the food, the drink, the visiting, and to congratulate the mom-to-be on her third beautiful son. So it’s no big deal.
It’s bad form for family to throw a baby shower!? I am completely bowled over by this. Literally every wedding and baby shower I have ever been to was hosted by the bride/mother’s aunts or sisters. How is it possible that every single person I have ever met is uncouth?
I am shocked as well. Granted, I HATE baby showers and avoid them like the plague (I would consider using the plague as an excuse), but I’m 29 and have never heard of this. Is it the same for bridal showers, but not bachelorette parties?
I understand a lot of people place a lot of emphasis on old school etiquette, but I think it’s bad form to force that on others and use it to judge them when that type of fussiness has so clearly left the social atmosphere.
If I’m rich and I want to have a party for me and my first or ninth effing baby, I’m going to have a damn party. And if my rich friends want to bring me presents then cool.
Shocked as well- my SIL was recently pregnant and her aunt threw a HUGE shower for her, which was organized by the aunt and paid for by my SIL’s father (yeah- he pays for everything, it’s a big sore point with my family).
I though the over-the-top shower was tacky, but not because it was planned by a family member. Never heard of that before.
My mother planned and paid for my baby shower. I actually think it tacky to expect friends to pay for a shower. Who better to do it than immediate family?
Exactly Mort. A lot of women have babies in their twenties and all of my friends in their twenties are broke. I was, too, for most of my twenties. Shoot, I missed part of a bachelorette party because I couldn’t afford to pay, and I was the maid of honor.
Mothers, on the other hand, are usually in a better position to pay for such a thing and are generally much more excited than friends about someone’s new baby.
I never heard it’s bad etiquette for immediate family members to throw baby showers either. I’ve been to some very fancy ones and all were thrown by the mothers, MILs and/or sisters. My mother and sisters planned mine which was held at a restaurant.
Now bridal showers are different. The bridesmaids/maid-of-honor usually throw those. For my wedding shower, however, my bridesmaids and my mom planned mine. My mom was an events planner before retiring so she had the professional knowledge for throwing showers. My friends were very grateful for all her help.
“I think it’s bad form to force that on others and use it to judge them when that type of fussiness has so clearly left the social atmosphere”
I agree.
When the time comes, my younger sister will almost certainly have a second and maybe third baby shower. It’s odd because we were raised in the same household and yet we somehow ended up with completely different perspectives on when it is okay to throw parties for yourself (or have your mother/best friend do it on your behalf). For example – multiple engagement parties, 2 bridal showers, and an attempted bachelorette party in Napa with 25 girls over Memorial Day weekend (she lives on the east coast as do nearly all of her friend. She was 27 at the time and had my mom send out invites. Almost all of her friends declined bc of the cost and other commitments).
I get having little celebrations for big milestones with your close family and friends, but I really think that for more people these events have escalated into throwing lavish parties for a bunch of people you want to impress/feel like you have to invite. I just find it odd and very self centered… But then again, maybe I’m just a grouch.
Whatever the etiquette is, my friends at work loved babies and insisted on throwing a shower for me and my coworker, six months apart, both for our second children. It would have been much more rude to turn them down. They insisted on setting up a registry and told me if I didn’t, they were buying for me anyway, so I might as well do it. Sorry Emily Post, this is a best judgment thing. Its also rude to refuse your friends doing something nice for you.
Both my baby showers were hardly fancy. No catering, no huge gifts. Just getting together with the girls to celebrate.
Agreed. It may be frowned upon, but I’m thinking that it won’t be for long. Most of the things famous people do, will make its way to the masses.
I don’t see anything wrong with it…even if it was her 100th kid, a new baby is exciting and cause for celebration. Baby showers are fun and a chance to get together with friends…yeah she can afford everything she would need for the baby, but that’s not the point. It’s just a fun, happy little party that every woman that wants one should have, no matter how rich they are.
OMG – a baby is a blessing. Let the woman have her beautiful party – I don’t care if it is her 10th kid! The guests at the party don’t seem to be too hard up!!!
Completely agree. Can’t people just celebrate a baby? I don’t think it should matter what the cost of the gift is, it’s a gift and that’s what should matter! It’s not about just getting things the parents want and can’t afford for the baby themselves, it’s about a group of people or community that wants to celebrate the child. I think it is only in bad taste if people throw baby showers and EXPECT to make gold on the gifts (like when I go to get the baby registry list and someone added a $1000 stroller…um….can I just get you a Graco one for 150?, or are we not friends anymore?). I don’t think that’s the case here. Waiting for my post to get deleted since it always does, LOL…..
She lost her last pregnancy – as someone who has lost 3 pregnancies, it changes your perspective a little. Obviously women realize how wonderful it is to be having a baby, but when you lose one, you realize just how fragile things are. She’s probably just SO excited that things have gone well this time she wants to celebrate. I won’t begrudge that.
That person may have added the stroller because some registries give you a completion coupon to buy the remaining items. Or you never know, maybe great Aunt Susie wants to splurge.
There’s really a rule against throwing a baby shower for a third kid? Baby clothes, toys, furniture don’t last forever. Lots of wear and tear. Clothes can only be washed so many times before you get holes in it. By the time the third kid comes he/she will be wearing rags and sleeping in a marked up crib with drawing, pencil marks and worse from the other two kids.
All that you said is true-things get old and break and expire. In some circles, though, that means you pull out your own wallet and head to the store. You don’t throw a shower.
Marigold-
I agree with you on this one!
But when did all these things become other people’s responsibility? I haven’t even thrown a housewarming party – in any of my houses – to solicit gifts. It becomes tiresome making sure every acquaintance is well supplied for every baby they have.
The last wedding I was in, I accompanied the bride while she registered for gifts. She happily told me she has everything she needs. She’s simply “trading up” on everything.
@Marigold: I concur.
+ a million Marigold. It’s not up to one’s friends and family to fund one’s life choices. If you can’t afford basic things then maybe reexamine the decision to have a child.
I agree with you and all that replied.Let her have a baby shower!She seem’s happy and everyone seemed that way too.Gwen come’s off to me as a caring and loving Mom.She lost her last baby and probably is very grateful for this one.
I agree. It’s supposed to be a happy time and it is unbelievably ugly to judge her for celebrating it with blue sugary treats and a bunch of her lady friends. She could have said “no gifts” and they probably would have brought them anyway.
Each child should be celebrated. It would be awful when those children get older and see pictures of their baby showers and one child is left out asking why he never got one. You should treat all your children the same. This was probably more of a celebration than a way to just get gifts.
I agree. My mother is OBSESSED with making sure everything is equal between her three children. All our birthday and Xmas presents cost the same in any given year. Even though they are twins, they are THEIR OWN PEOPLE and even though my birthday is right before Xmas family gave me two presents like they got or faced her wrath. If she hadn’t had a baby shower for me, she wouldn’t have for them, and she would have thrown her own if needed so that it was equal.
(Kanye caps to emphasize her raw emotion LOL)
Eh, I’m the 5th kid, my mom certainly didn’t have a shower for me and I couldn’t care less. I’ve never even seen a picture from the one shower she had 10 years before I came along.
Sibling rivalry can be a b*tch lol…it’s best to keep things as equal as possible.
That was my mom’s philosophy! She never wanted us to be bitter, even though it mattered way more to her than to us. TBF, we’re all really good friends now and not bitter.
What could she possibly need for her THIRD son that she doesn’t already have? I dunno, I don’t see a point to it, if she were having a girl, maybe..
And Chelsea Handler looks gross.
Well while I doubt it really applies to someone with GS’s budget to throw a party for baby necessities, how old is her youngest? Like 3 or 4. Doubt she’d still have anything left over for a newborn after 4 years.
My son is turning 3 tomorrow and I’m expecting again, any baby crap I have left over has now been deemed unsafe and/or dated in the intervening 3 years so back to square one.
I didn’t really think of the safety issue, but you’re right.
This. Her next oldest is 5-and long since outgrown the car seat etc.
This looks like her agency threw her a shower though and most of the gifts look smallish. More like a work shower than a ‘look at me’ shower.
That and…who keeps a bunch of baby crap around when you have enough money to donate it all and buy more if needed? I would probably be that kind of rich lady. I hate clutter and unused crap lying around.
I think it IS more like a party, and if people give her onesies and stuff – it really is pennies to them, so you just do it more for the process and the experience and the memories. Different than if it were ‘real life’/’real people’.
PS – no baby showers in Russia. It’s actually bad luck to buy or gift anything for the baby before it’s born.
Anna, that’s very interesting. I wonder if that’s common around the world. That practice makes a lot of sense.
I was just asking someone about this the other day. Do women have baby showers after the first child? It was her belief that people shouldn’t. So I’m really interested to read everyone’s comments.
Same belief in India – bad omen to buy baby presents before baby is born.
Well I learned something new today, did not know it wasn’t practiced in Russia or India. Do you guys have a party after the baby is born?
My college friend is from Ireland, and we threw her a baby shower when her son was a few weeks old. She said it was back luck in Ireland to do so before the baby was born. Her son was at the shower, and everyone got to hold him, which made it fun to have the guest of honor actually there. (I don’t want to be that depressing chick, but I did go to a shower for a woman who lost her baby at 39 weeks, so I understand the after the baby philosophy).
in Indonesia, especially the traditional Javanese, they throw a “party” for the third month of pregnancy (neloni) and seventh month of pregnancy (nujuhbulanan or mitoni), usually there’s a set thing to eat (like porridge, salads, etc–provided by the expectant family for the wellwishers), and some rituals like bathing of the mother/cleansing etc.
i think this dates back to the OLLLLDDD days when there’s a high mortality rate amongst mothers and unborn child. so at the three month and seven month mark, people come and pray and give support to the mother. the seven month mark is especially important (especially if the mother seems in need of support): the pregnancy is ripe, mobility becomes less, more discomfort etc.
so i guess, it’s sort of a baby shower (actually the expectant mother gets the shower, usually from the old ladies who pray for the safe delivery of the child and health of the mother). 🙂
No post-partum party, but people who come visit bring gifts for the newborn. Clothes, toys. Sometimes it’s actually send-hand clothes if their own baby has grown. And it doesnt matter what number child it is – there’s a general sense of community support. That said, no diapers tho. That’d be considered super-tasteless.
@Anna – Religious Jews also do not throw baby showers before the birth of the child, as it is considered a bad omen (for lack of a better word). Sometimes we have baby showers after the birth, or people just send baby presents.
It is the same in Italy. No baby showers, it’s bad omen. Baby gets a party only after the baptism.
Virtually no one else does baby showers like this. When I started traveling with Cirque I had no idea and the moms to be had never heard of and did not know what a baby shower was.
Four years later one of the Russians just had a baby shower.
Aren’t baby showers a strictly american tradition?
I know that other cultures have something resembling a baby shower, but not the way Americans have one or deem one necessary.
I’m British and African. Americanisms are creeping into British culture, so you do come across the occasional baby shower.
My part of Africa doesn’t do baby showers. Instead the family takes steps to support the new mother. Frankly, given how many people try to help/support the new mother, it’s any wonder any mother-baby bonding takes place.
That’s really interesting! I should move away, I hate showers (obviously the party kind of shower, not being clean).
Speaking of American traditions, am I the only one who hates giving/getting greeting cards? Is that popular in other countries? I’ve wondered that.
“Here, I bought you some stiff paper with glitter and a poem on it. It costs as much as a gallon of milk or two bus rides. Please wait a socially acceptable amount of time before throwing it away so my feelings don’t get hurt.”
Yup, my mother’s whole family is from Russian Karelia, and she’s drilled into us girls NEVER to have a baby shower, because it’s like tempting fate and therefore extremely bad luck. We never celebrate birthdays in advance for the same reason.
Instead, when hopefully one day a Lynx Cub sees the light of this world, I will have a rotina. It’s usually organised by the new mother’s lady relatives and/or lady friends for other lady relatives/friends (and, of course, the mother), and while the main purpose is to come see the newcomer, the other equally important aspect is to bring lots and lots of food (and I mean food food, not finger sandwiches) for the new parents’ freezer. I’ve been told that with a very small baby around, cooking healthy, savoury and balanced meals – or heck, cooking of any sort – is the last thing on your mind 😉
Same here in Ireland, but the popularity if baby showers is on the rise. It’s mainly the more rural/older communities that keep the don’t-buy tradition going.
Chelsea looks like a hot mess
I think it depends on where you’re from. I’m from the Northeast and you get one shower for your first kid. I’ve actually known older women who have declined to go to a second or third shower.
Of course, these are celebrities and it’s just another event to them. Etiquette is certainly not a priority.
Me too. It’s seen as bad form to keep having showers. A coworker of mine did this at work and his boss was asking for donations and one of the woman I worked with said isn’t this his second kid? I died laughing.
If I were rich like that, I’d have a baby shower but have a infant charity designated and ask them for a wish list. I’d ask my guests to purchase their gifts according to the wish list, and then I’d send the items to the charity so that impoverished infants would have the opportunity to have beautiful things (or even just the basics). For me, that would be the real gift. Being able to help little babies who really need the stuff.
I think this is a fantastic idea.
Did somebody do this? Nicole Richie? It sounds somewhat familiar. It also sounds like the right thing to do.
I totally agree with you and was going to say the same thing.
That is a really lovely idea!
I’ve always thought that would be the best thing to do, if you’re wealthy enough to buy all your own stuff like they are. Same thing for wedding showers and gifts – have a party to celebrate with everyone, but if you don’t need the gifts, turn it into something that can help others.
That’s a shower I can get behind.
Since its no financial strain on her guests, I say, party away!!! WTF is Chelsea Handler doing there?
Well – technically – it’s not really the done thing, I guess, is it? But (here, at least) you might have 3 or more showers for your first baby. People still gift the subsequent children, but you don’t really have a shower.
Now, in Hollywood – it seems that everyone has a shower for each child. And why not? They have the time and money and reason for a party. I’d have taken it!
Chelsea Handler was there? How on dogs green earth was she invited, did she tell racist baby jokes for entertainment. Major side-eye.
Yeah actually, given that Stefani and La Jolie are all about the play dates, or were at least.
Chelsea must be sleeping with one of the agents in CAA and they make sure she is there pretending to be friends with celebs.
Free publicity for such a vile woman.
I find it odd in general how a woman who doesn’t want children is allowed to attack AJ and her children while befriending all these women who have children themselves. Especially Bullock and Theron (who broke the news to Handler) who have adopted too. Aren’t they scared she’ll turn on them too or do they genuinely like her?
I would never want to be friends with a woman who uses somebody’s kids to hurt somebody for no reason at all.
I know right? I’m a little stunned that she and Gwen are friends.
I am surprised to see Chandler there as well, instead of her alleged BFF, Jolie. Very interesting. There was a blind reveal on CDAN about an A list woman who lost her last female friend after sleeping with the other stars husband. It was revealed to be Jolie & everyone automatically assumed the wronged woman was Gwen. I don’t generally believe blinds but in this instance of Chelsea attending, it made me stop, think & remember it.
@ Cecelia
Of course you believe it, even though the disclaimer at the bottom of his website says that he makes stories up all the time.
@Cecillia
Girl please the only reason why you thinks its true or about AJ is because you don’t like her. But I thought she didn’t have friends.lol Funny how the blind and articale about jen you don’t believe but this so called one you do.
Better luck next time and try being a little less transparent.
@Cecilia: neither were Eve and Roger Dmfedera’s wife who are also Gwen’s BFF alongside Angelina.
I always laugh at Jen hens who goes on and on about Angelina allegedly not having friends. I will bet by year’s salary that Angelina has a lot more genuine friends than Jennifer who only has show business ones. Plus unlike Jennifer – Angelina doesn’t advertise her friendships. No one knew she was close with George Lucas, Mary Louise Parker etc.
Sad. I feel sorry for Cecilia for carrying around so much hate for a woman who has never done a thing to hurt anyone. Seriously, if anyone is going to lose friends from sleeping with other women’s men, lets be honest here, it will be your idol who has a proven track record (3 at last count) in the area. Your attempts at deflection and projection are weak and sad.
I’m beginning to think Handler must be a huge suck-up to have so many celebrity friends and to be invited to so many of their parties. That, or she has dirt on all of them…..
The CAA connection? Jennifer Aniston only started going on Chelsea’s show AFTER Chelsea signed on w/CAA. And I’m guessing that’s how she gets a ton of her guests too–the CAA agents send them straight to Chelsea’s show.
I would be interested to know how many celeb ‘friends’ Chelsea has that aren’t connected to CAA–Jennifer Aniston, Reese Witherspoon, Sandra Bullock, et al. The only one I can find is Charlize Theron–she’s with WME.
I think because she goes easy on them–when they’re ‘friends’. She’s already said this.
Like Chelsea uses tabloids on her show. If I was a fan, I would be legit pissed that some idiot has my favorite celeb on their show, and all they want to talk about are some bs rumors that I could’ve come up with in two minutes. But I noticed something interesting (as I am a JA stalker, I admit it–I’m fascinated with how she eludes even the slightest censure by the mass media)–Chelsea talks about tabloid rumors with Jennifer–but the harmless ones, like her and Justin walking around naked or something.
Anyone remember the few months after Justin finally officially broke up with Heidi–how the tabloids were running ‘How Jennifer stole her man’/’Did Jennifer pull an Angelina, to get her man?’–I googled it, it came out June 22, 2011 (only a few weeks after Heidi was booted out, if I’m remembering right)
http://assets-s3.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/articles/42199-how-jennifer-aniston-pulled-an-angelina-with-justin-theroux/1308693183_aniston-theroux-2902.jpg
The next time JA came onto the show, in February 2012 (to promote Wanderlust, *snicker*), Chelsea didn’t even mention it, or have any kind of remark about it at all.
I think it’s all PR, I don’t believe these people are all actually real friends (maybe some), but it’s business CAA style.
Agree.
As if all those business associates )lets not pretend they’re legit friends) wouldn’t be gifting her with crap anyway. She may as well have a shindig while she’s at it.
It’s a bit tacky especially if you’re throwing it in anticipation of gifts. If it’s just a party with a few friends where there is no expectation to be showered with gifts then why not?
She didn’t plan it. If your friends want to throw you a shower, your friends want to throw you a shower.
This just seems like a show business baby shower done by Gwen’s agency CAA.
None of her real friends like Roger Federa’s wife, Angelina Jolie not Eve were in attendance. I am sure she had a proper baby shower done by her real friends and we wouldn’t know about it.
PS: Chelsea really has done well since sleeping with a married tv producer (with children) hasn’t she? She now attends baby showers despite boasting about having had an abortion. All because of the fact she signed with CAA – none of these women will look twice at her otherwise (because of her vile and disgusting personality).
Maya, your comment about abortion goes too far. Are you implying that women who seek abortion are “baby killers” (or something) who should be banned or ashamed from attending baby showers? While I really am not a fan of Chelsea Handler, I will defend her on this point–her past choice and present political stance are NO reason for her to stay away.
Just because you choose one thing for yourself does not mean you can’t support and celebrate someone else, as Chelsea is doing here.
I agree. For starters saying you’ve had an abortion and that is was the right choice for you isn’t boasting. And having one doesn’t preclude celebrating your friends who make a different choice.
On a lighter note, I love how alba made a point of dressing all rock & roll to try and fit in. Spiked collars and 3 tier diaper cake!!
Umm I never said anything about abortion being bad or anything. It’s a personal choice yes and I don’t judge women who have had abortions.
But I will judge Chelsea who boated about it and also has no problems saying racist jokes about children.
Sooo…if you have an abortion, you’re permanatly banned from baby showers? Ridiculous!
It’s your use of the word “despite” that has you in trouble here. Also, she didn’t boast about having an abortion. She told her story. That’s not boasting. Some people might feel like never sharing their story. She’s fine with it. That’s her prerogative. It’s her story to tell.
Yeah I realises that the word despite was a wrong choice.
But the reason I feel Chelsea is boasting about her abortion is because of this interview. See for yourself and tell me honestly if it doesn’t sound like she is boating?
http://m.newsbusters.org/blogs/ryan-robertson/2012/11/01/chelsea-handler-laughs-about-abortion-she-had-teenager
@Maya, I wouldn’t say that was boasting. I think she was trying to make the moment light considering what kind of show she was on. She seemed to be trying to walk a fine line-knowing it’s kind of a heavy subject but absolutely the right choice for some women.
You can’t deny that having a kid at 16 would have taken her life in a completely different direction so I’m sure she is quite happy with her decision and the fact that she had a choice about it.
Chelseas body is hers to do with as she likes. Furthermore she is as entitled to “boast” about her choices as Gwen is to “boast” about hers. In fact I commend Chelseas honesty and boldness in talking about her choice in a society full of hypocrits and self-righteous women.
I think it’s probably a good thing that Chelsea DIDN’T have a kid–if I remember right, she was 16…pretty young.
I have mixed feelings about abortion–I would LOVE to live in a world where they weren’t necessary at all, but I’m also very realistic, as in, I don’t want women going to shady doctors who will either kill them, or damage their reproductive parts to the point to where they can’t have any more kids.
If you have an issue with abortions then dont have one. It doesnt matter whether the woman is 16 or 36 , keep your “moralising” out of your sisters damn uterus.
I don’t know if you misread my comment, but I was actually SUPPORTING Chelsea Handler’s decision, to yes, get an abortion at 16. She doesn’t seem like she would’ve done well with another person to take care of, besides her–that’s ALL I was saying.
And how was I moralising?? I said that I have mixed feelings on abortion, but never condemned anyone who got one, saying that in the end, I would rather support abortion legally, than to see women go to doctors with no licenses, and risk their lives…..I’m not sure who pissed in your cheerios, but it wasn’t me.
TBF, I’ve seen Chelsea make lots of jokes about abortions and bragging about all of hers, and it did make me cringe a little. I used to watch her show but had to stop because she’s just gross and below the belt. I’ve had abortions myself, though, and I’m not ashamed of it, and I don’t expect people to stop being friends with me over it.
I would, however, expect a few of my friends to stop seeing me if they found out I was knowingly banging a married dude with kids. I agree with the point of your statement, though, Maya. These people aren’t her actual friends–they’re all from CAA.
But seriously…can someone not be friends with JA and Chelsea at the same time? It seems petty to me to have to be on one side or the other.
I think that’s gross too. That’s one of the things that shouldn’t be joked about, it’s serious. I wouldn’t think well of someone who found that type of humor funny.
Yeah. I kind of tried to let it slide by passing it off as a way to cope, but I just can’t get behind joking about it like that. It’s not something to brag about, or to pretend to brag about.
Rich people like to receive stuff for free too!
What’s gross to me is Stefani, who’s been AJ’s friend since the ’90s, allowed Handler to be invited. I would prefer Alba over Handler any day.
Yes. Extremely tacky.
I’m laughing looking at the picture of all that candy and those sweets on the table. As if anyone there touched any of that.
Haha-I thought the same thing. What a waste.
^^^^This! Very tacky. One shower for the first baby. Anything else is just tacky tacky tacky, especially from these rich people
LOL exactly! Show me one person on that invite list eating a doughnut!!!! They should have served air and bottled water.
LOL! Thought the exact same thing. Maybe they all split an M&M? haha
Anyone remember Demi Moore in ‘Indecent Proposal’? When she goes to that dress shop in their hotel room, and tried one of those complimentary chocolates—as soon as that chocolate hit the back of her throat, she grabbed the whole plate and dumped it in her purse…cracked me right up.
I bet it was nice for them to have a little whiff of chocolate, though.
Eat it!?? Oh heavens, darling, NO!!! We just needed some props to instagram! Eat it! Bawhawhawhaw! Why the very idea!
I immediately thought no one laid a finger on those donuts and they were for Internet purposes only! Ha.
it’s only tacky for peasants
Forgot to say, I’m old fashioned and think it’s tacky. The entire point of a baby shower is to shower the new parents in baby gear, since with your first you presumably have none of that stuff.
If you’re wealthy, I would think a second and third baby shower would be even tackier, since you can definitely afford to buy anything any baby needs, from the first baby to the tenth.
From a non-rich perspective, I think if she had 3 kids close in age, it might be bad form. But it looks like there are 6 years between the 2nd and 3rd. She has stated that a 3rd child didn’t seem to be in the stars for them, so I doubt she kept anything. Also, certain things like car seats do have expiration dates, so they have to be replaced anyway. Granted she could afford to purchase everything herself, but I wouldn’t begrudge a friend throwing a shower if she were in the same situation, so I can’t begrudge her.
My oldest 2 are 18 months apart so I was thrown a shower for my older son. Eight years later I was pregnant with my ‘surprise’ baby. Since I had given away every baby item in my house years before, friends and family threw me a shower which was a surprise and really appreciated.
This. I don’t know about most people, but I hate having clutter in my house. If I wasn’t expecting a baby, and my child was too old to need the stuff, I’d donate or give it all away. I agree she could afford it, but so can her “friends” afford whatever they got her.
I think its bad form for anyone having a third child to have a shower especially if its the same sex as a previous child.
I received a shower for my 4th pregnancy, even though he was only 3.5 years younger than his sister (my 2nd pregnancy), because we lost a baby before my daughter & we lost another baby between my daughter & son…so I have 2 children I can hold in my arms, and 2 I can only hold in my heart. Gwen Stefani also lost her last pregnancy. Sometimes people are so overjoyed that they’re actually going to HAVE a baby, they want to celebrate, and friends & family want to buy the new baby some special things. People need to worry less about their perception of etiquette, and more about actually being a good person.
“People need to worry less about their perception of etiquette, and more about actually being a good person. ”
Well said. Hugs to you and your family.
+1 If she wants to celebrate her baby, she should. Let her take pictures of donuts and pretend she ate them. I can’t believe how judgy this whole thing is! I mean, I never would have known shower etiquette was a thing otherwise, but I still find all this quite surprising.
I don’t see the big deal with a woman having a baby shower but that’s just me.
It is never, ever, ever in good taste to host a shower, wedding or baby, for yourself. Ever. I don’t care who is doing it. It’s tacky. It’s asking for gifts. Showers are supposed to be given by friends for you. When did people start throwing them for themselves? It is against all rules of etiquette throughout the centuries, and it proves that having money does not mean you have breeding. It is wrong and it makes me want to scream.
I would assume that someone did throw this shower for her – either a friend or publicist or something. I can’t see that anyone would throw themselves a shower. That is really over the line.
Right. I am assuming that someone threw the shower for her. If she threw it for herself, that would be bad form.
I have flip flopped on my shower etiquette opinion over the years. I used to be rigid. You get a shower for your first kid only, and you do not throw it and neither does anyone in your immediate family. The exception (and Gwen qualifies) is if it has been several years since your most recent kid, and you wouldn’t have baby stuff anymore, or perhaps if it’s a different gender from what you already have.
Now, my opinion is still you don’t throw it for yourself, but if your friends love you and want to throw you a party, then who am I to be a curmudgeon and stand in their way waving a Miss Manners book.
(Although I still grumbled at situation at my church where our former pastor’s wife pumped out a baby every year for four years and the ladies of the church were somewhat pressured to pony up for a shower each time, and she had a boy and a girl before all this started)!
Her manager’s wife threw the party.As for Chelsea Handler she has stated she doesn’t like or want kids? Maybe they had alcohol at the party.She loves alcohol.
Kim K threw herself a baby shower, so I thought from the article that Gwen did, too, because I was still in shock over Kim. So, apologies to Gwen.
@AmyT, I’m not rigid about showers for non-first babies, either, but I know what you mean about the shower a year type people. You can always tell well meaning friends no thank you, I’ve had four baby showers already and don’t need a fifth, but some people just don’t seem aware that everyone might be tired of the yearly donation to their baby factory. I’m sort of kidding, but not completely.
If I ever threw myself a baby shower, I wouldn’t ever ask for gifts…..I think that defeats the purpose.
In fact, my ‘baby shower’ would be an excuse to invite all of my relatives over, so we can spend all day lounging around the house eating whatever we wanted, while gossiping about the relatives that aren’t there…..sounds like fun.
It says right on Gwen’s Instragram (which I follow), that some woman threw the shower for her. I have no idea who this lady is though.
There was a girl who used to be a shampooer at the salon I work at, who had a baby and her mom and best friend threw a shower that most of us attended. It was the weirdest shower I’ve ever been to because she had a restraining order against the father and he showed up and the police were called. She started dating another guy when she was pregnant and they ended up expecting another son almost a year to the day of her first son. She ended up throwing herself a shower (she no longer worked at our salon, but I still saw her from time to time). I don’t think many people came to the shower and she was so outraged. Eighteen months later she was expecting a girl with her new husband (a totally different guy) and threw herself yet another shower. I declined (partly on principle). The whole mess was broadcast on facebook and, shocker, only her husband and best friend showed up. She was so mad and took pictures of all the food she made and the decorations she put up letting everyone know what they were missing. She also said that everyone who didn’t attend was dead to her and she was so depressed and this ruined her happy moment of having a baby girl.
Sorry that anecdote was so TL;DR! That story just happens to be what comes to my mind when I think about horrible shower etiquette.
Oh my God, what a clueless idiot! I guess you are dead to her now. What a loss. Lol
Okay, that is a funny story! I’m surprised she’d post photos of her unattended party LOL. I’d be too embarrassed!
Wow, that is a lot of drama coming from one person! Yikes!
Holy cow I would say I know that lady if not for the salon and husband parts. I’m not kidding. I made some lame excuse not to go to a shower and it turned out the cops got called during and then she kept popping out kids by different dudes and having showers and nobody would attend. She’s a FB-drama wh*re, too.
At some point, you have to realize when the problem is you and not EVERYONE ELSE. For the love.
Where I live, unless you’re short on funds, you don’t have a baby shower because people assume you’re a greedy SOB who craves attention. Granted, if you’re short on funds, people will still talk about you…they’ll comment on the fact that you wouldn’t need a baby shower if you had properly planned for your child and then make snide comments about how messed up your child will most likely be. The reasoning behind this is that if you have family/friends that love you, they’ll give you gifts anyway so you don’t need to ask for them. Planning a party and having a baby registry is considered the act of a selfish person. This is probably because many people in my area have turned baby showers into weddings: people you barely know invite you to their shower just to get money or a gift from you (we once had a former neighbor invite us to her second baby shower…even though we hadn’t heard from her in over six years!)
Anyway, as far as having showers for each kid goes, my thoughts are: if people throw bridal showers and weddings for each marriage they have, it makes sense that parents would have a baby shower for each baby they have. Personally, I prefer “welcome parties” after the baby is born over baby showers, but I’m probably in the minority.
I love welcome parties! You can “meet” the baby and it’s so much more fun than sitting around in a circle saying, “oh how cute!” 50 times watching someone open gifts.
Happy to be in your minority, V. I hate showers with a passion, decline invitations, and refused to let anyone throw me a wedding shower. I hate gouging friends for gifts.
+1
Hate showers of all types and would much rather attend a welcoming party.
I think it’s because not only am I supposed to bring a gift, I’m expected to participate in stupid games and hate on all the men. Plus, I’m never having one (wedding shower or baby…period) out of principle, so I shouldn’t attend them out of principle.
Her baby, her money. I don’t see what’s all the fuss about.
I don’t see anything wrong with it. I actually had a shower for each of my 3 pregnancies. With my first (a boy) my mum threw a shower. With my 2nd three years later (girl) I was remarried and my sisters-in-law wanted to throw a shower. With my 3rd it wasn’t really a ‘shower’- just my sisters & sisters-in-laws using my pregnancy as an excuse to get together to eat cake and drink cocktails. 🙂 They didn’t even bother wrapping anything, and only bought non-reusable necessities, like diapers and baby shampoo. I was actually having labor pains during our get-together and had my daughter a few hours later, so it was way more fun for them!
She really tried for that baby, she deserves the right to celebrate! Personally, I had given away everything after my 1st son, after a very difficult delivery I was done having kids. 5 years later and we just had a new baby boy, who we had nothing for. I didn’t want to be rude and tried not to burden my friends and family a second time. They were actually insulted that I kept turning down a shower and ended up throwing me a surprise one. Her friends are there so they obviously wanted to celebrate with her.
“She really tried for that baby” – what a strange comment. Unless I’m missing something, she just did what everyone else does (don’t recall reading anything about multiple IVF attempts, etc.)
couldn’t say about IVF but there was talk that she was trying for years and she suffered a miscarriage. so, “she really tried for that baby” seems a perfectly reasonable statement to me. she wanted a baby, it took a long time and suffered some heartbreak on the way. we really don’t know the ins and out (no pun intended) of it. i’m not saying it was worse for her than anyone else, but it’s a stressful and upsetting thing for anyone. i think it’s perfectly natural to want to celebrate after all that.
Gwen has always wanted lots of babies, and said she would definitely try for a third after the second came along. Then the probable miscarriage…yeah, I think they were really trying. To me having to schedule sex sounds like trying, though. I could get pregnant from looking at sperm if I weren’t so careful.
I think every baby is entitled to have a shower regardless where they sit in pecking order. Too much is made of first born and makes any child born after less. When a child is older its much nicer for them to sit and look at pics and they also had a celebration of friends and family for there impending arrival as any of there siblings. Many times the so called etiquitee people need to rethink. Has nothing to do with wealth or lack there of..its the celebration of any new life
I refused showers for my 2nd and 3rd-like everyone has said-it’s not considered “appropriate”. For my 4th, a bunch of girlfriends gave me a brunch-and instead of giving me baby gifts (which I certainly did not need) they gave me a spa gift certificate-which was fantastic!
That’s a great idea!
Nope, it’s not bad form. It shouldn’t matter if it’s baby number 1 or baby number 1000…. if you want to have a shower and celebrate the impending birth of your baby with your friends and family, have one. Free gifts (whether you have money or not) ROCK!
completely agree. why wouldn’t she want to celebrate this. it’s not like she’s in it for the presents, i’m fairly sure she can afford them herself.
The thing is, those gifts aren’t “free” for those 1000 babies the friends and families have to buy for. It’s one thing when you live in a wealthy world. In the real world, people have more important things to do with their money than outfit every baby of every person you know.
For many women, they feel they break even because they’ve had their own baby showers. For those of us who haven’t, it can feel like gift soliciting. That doesn’t mean babies aren’t celebrated. It just means the parents may have to pay for it.
A lot of the old etiquette has gone by the wayside, which is not a bad thing in many cases. Still, with all the money these people have, it might’ve been nice to have people bring a gift to donate to a shelter or some charity close to Gwen’s heart and just enjoy the party otherwise. It’s not like she needs baby stuff.
My small group of friends have little “sprinkles” for second/third babies, MOSTLY as an excuse to get all of the mommies together again and have lunch like ACTUAL PEOPLE and put on cute clothes and sip fancy drinks and eat fancy food (i.e. anything that isn’t left on the baby’s tray when it’s finished, LOL)….we give small gifts, a small outfit, a thoughtful small gift….if the babies are different sexes, we give a cute outfit. Even a second (or third) baby of the same sex deserves a cute new outfit, we think. Mostly, though, we want to see our friend, who has possibly not had a decent break since the FIRST child and is about to descend into the black hole that is Brand New Baby and we won’t see her for ages.
I’m from Texas and I got Emily Post’s Etiquette Book for my high school graduation and I’ve read it almost cover to cover…I know it’s against the “etiquette law”, but we don’t care. 🙂 If I had the cash to invite everyone to a hotel for an even FANCIER brunch, I’d probably do it too.
That is the kind of thing my friends threw for me yesterday & it was wonderful 🙂
I like the term “sprinkles”
I can only know if it is bad form when I find out what company sponsored it in a public hotel that the paps could get everyone walking in. I also need to know what kind of gifts she received and if the gift givers themselves paid for the gifts or if they we part of the corporate sponsorship of Stafani’s womb.
It would be helpful to know if Joe Jonas encouraged her to use Deft detergent.
I will say it would be bad form to expect guests to buy gifts for a sponsored baby shower so maybe if the guest brought the left overs from award show gift bags and other free swag they get, then I say all good.
I sure as hell don’t think so. I actually just had a shower for my 2nd yesterday. My good friends threw it for me & it was (gasp) co-ed AND kid friendly. My 2.5 yo is a boy & this kiddo is a girl & now we actually have some girly things for her. I lost twin boys to TTTS almost exactly a year ago & my friends really wanted to celebrate my rainbow baby. My showers for my son weren’t so great because none of my friends back home had kids, but this one was loads of fun for everyone.
I DO, however, think its tacky to throw one for yourself
I am so sorry about your loss.
It sounds like you have wonderful friends who wanted to celebrate with you. There should be no judgements when it comes to love and support.
Enjoy your newest addition.
@bodhi, we must be on the same pregnancy schedule! My second son is 2.5 years and I’m currently pregnant with a little girl (due in march). Also, so sorry to hear of your loss.
So sorry about your twins. And celebrate your little girl! Enjoy all of it!
Why would it be bad form? I’m from the south and we do a shower for every special occasion. She obviously didn’t host this shower which would be bad form so I don’t see the big deal. I agree with previous posters, it looks like her management hosted it. I don’t see baby showers as being all about how much stuff you can get though. They certainly help, particularly for a first child, but their purpose is to support the new mother. I don’t see why Gwen wouldn’t want the support of the people around her just because she is a celebrity. That seems pretty universal to me.
I am from the south too but in my experience only one baby shower for the first born was considered the correct etiquette. I do think that with multiple fathers (his first baby but not the moms) things have gotten more murky.
It doesn’t bother me either way really but I do still find seconds tacky and I am aghast at thirds. I choose not to participate. For friends and family in financial straits I find that people will help out regardless and/or buy gifts just without a formal shower being thrown. I guess if you are close enough to the parents gift buying is natural, something you want to do regardless of the “number” that child is. Other than that, showers seem to be A way to garner attention and presents sometimes from people that are happy for you but don’t necessarily want to spend a few hours and money to prove that to you.
Again, I know this probably sounds grumpy or elitist but it just how I was raised and I do feel it is “correct” form. Still throw as many as you like just don’t get mad if people stop showing up.
Having said all that a brunch with a few close friends sounds a wonderful way to connect with the expectant mother while foregoing gifts and games.
I’m also from the south and I’ve always been told that showers are a 1 time deal. We have had food showers for 2nd and 3rd time moms though – Everyone brings a freezable dish so mom/dad get a couple weeks off cooking when the new baby comes. I think it’s nice, everyone celebrates the new baby without having to fork over cash and mom/dad get something to help them out.
In Hollywood? Nah…. It’s the norm and she has a few years apart from her first two. Pregnant, at 44, not only does she deserve a baby shower, she deserves a medal. Most are on their way to Menopause at that age!
Sure, she has enough money to buy her own crap…but its not like her friends are poor. Maybe her friends enjoy buying baby gifts.
There’s courtesy, manners and etiquette and then there’s just plain old sour and begrudging.
If someone wants to celebrate the birth of a baby of a friend or relative, then who in the hell is anyone to wag their finger and declare it improper? If you don’t feel the impending life deserving enough to expend a few dollars in celebratory acknowledgment, then simply and politely pass. But let’s celebrate the potential!
Do we give LiLo and other merely-consuming-space-and-oxygen “celebrities” the same flack for celebrating her own day of birth despite accomplishing little more than dodging the legal consequences of her “career” in partying? I think not. And yet year after year we give people a pass for making a day all about themselves for an accomplishment that belongs to their mother.
what a stupid headline!!
The first shower may be for all of the necessaries. But family and friends are going to buy a gift for each new child anyway, so why not make a party of it to give those gifts. It doesn’t have to be a big blow-out with the cake and all, but each child deserves to be celebrated and each mom can use the extra support and TLC.
Also, if there is a big spread in ages between kids, which happens a lot these days with second marriages, the mom may not have left-over baby stuff from the older kids.
Of course, I speak as Baby #5 who has a BIG chip on her shoulder about having barely any baby photos or momentos.
This! I kind of hate attending showers for first babies because of the need for nauseating levels of cuteness and the stupid games but I like second, third, etc baby showers. In my experience, those tend to be more about the desserts and story swapping. In some cases they are like glorified play dates with sweets that aren’t Oreos. Sign me up.
Yes, it is bad form because as it has been stated, this kid will have EVERYTHING. Why not donate to those less fortunate. Just seems greedy to me.
I’m from NY and it is bad form to have more than one baby shower unless sadly the first one dies. It is assumed you have more than one, you can afford to buy what the kid needs. However, I lived in NC for awhile and most people are not well-off and thus they have baby showers for every baby because most genuinely desperately need the gifts. PLUS, if you have a boy then a girl or vice versa, in the south you get 2 baby showers to celebrate each gender. All depends on socio-economic class I have found.
I don’t think it is ever bad form to celebrate the arrival of new life with your friends! I do think it is bad form to register or appear to be asking for gifts for your second (or third, or fourth) baby — with some exceptions (children very far apart in age, arrival of twins after a single baby).
I recently attended a “shower” for my friend’s third child, and it was great. It was basically a party, and although everyone brought a small gift, such as a book or cute onesie, there was no registry and no opening of gifts at the event. Honestly, it is sometimes so hard for new moms to find time to see their friends after the baby is born, I think it is nice to take the opportunity before the baby arrives to spend some time with them. And it is a lovely opportunity for your friends to share in your excitement.
This is a woman who had TWO separate weddings. Soooo…..
Coming from the land without Baby Showers (Germany) and reading all your comments, I can only recite Dr. Brennan from Bones: “I don’t know what that means!” Is it the expectant mom, the parents, siblings, friends who organize a Baby Shower?…Well maybe there is no rule. Just her having a Party to celebrate and friends coming along, scrounging on freebies and bringing gifts.
I’m also from Germany and I have no idea what baby (or wedding) showers are either! 😀 Everyone I know had to buy all that crap from their own money. If they were lucky, they got used baby stuff (mostly clothing) from relatives or their parents who kept it for this reason. Babys are growing so fast that you don’t need most of the clothing for very long and so most of that stuff is fairly new. It’s funny to see those things circulating within the family.
I am American and I agree with you 100%. Americans are too hung up on the political correctness of baby showers.
I’m a Brit and thankfully baby showers haven’t really hit yet. The ones I have witnessed when waitressing have been super dull. If I want to buy my friend/relative a gift when the baby comes I will, but it seems so rude to be guilted into it because they throw a party. Frankly, the party comes when the baby’s out, you’ve stopped breast feeding and you can get drop-down drunk with your friends.
I won’t criticize her for having a baby shower. But I will criticize her lips. Her mouth is looking more and more like Lindsay Lohan’s trout pout.
It’s bad form if you are draining the time and financial resources of people around you who feel obligated to fund it and/or bring you gifts. These people are hardly taxed by flinging a $50 gift her way.
How do not-rich people afford to have kids, though?! I have so many poor and middle class friends popping out babies. In the States, the insurance alone is ridiculous! One of my friends was living in an Asian country and did the whole thing naturally with a doula. She and her partner each worked about 24 hours/week and lived in a gorgeous 1-bedroom apartment. They owned a car and a vespa. They were taking the kid on vacations when he was like five months old! Before I heard her story and the details, I couldn’t fathom how anyone could have a child without a lifetime of stress and breakdowns. I really don’t know how families do it in so many countries. The cost of living and the expectations are ridiculous.
I really hate rules. Rich people do not really “need” gifts. Why can’t it just be a celebration?
As I sit and read all of these comments, I think, “Who Cares ?”
I am a non conformist that plays by my own rules, so I see nothing wrong with any of this! So who is supposed to pay for the shower according to everyone’s rules? I paid for my own but my mom set everything up. Who freaking cares
I wonder if any of them even touched the donuts. I wouldn’t have been able to control myself!
What? I never heard that having a shower for a baby after the first one is in poor form. I say you should have a baby shower anytime you have a baby. You are carrying the kid for 9 months….I think a party is in order whatever your financial status is! And if it is your third or fourth one, bring out the booze.
No, it’s not bad form. It’s not like she’s throwing a shower for her 3rd wedding.
Every new baby is a blessing and the shower is an opportunity to celebrate. I think most women enjoy buying baby gifts and oooing and awwwing over them. It’s not like you have to buy something expensive.
Old skoo etiquette says that baby showers are ONLY for a first child.it was thought as crass and greedy for parents not to save stuff for future children and ask others to purchase new stuff. Read this in a miss manners type of article once.
I dont go to baby showers , bc i dont like them, so I dont know how it is now.
Just because a professional event planner was in charge of the baby shower, doesn’t mean that Gwen threw the party herself. A friend could very likely have enlisted the help of the professional to throw a baby shower for Gwen. Don’t most people in that economic group use professional event planners anyway? I know plenty of people that are solidly middle class that use professional party planners for all of their parties, too. As far as eitquette, I know that the mother or sister of the bride or mother-to-be should not host the shower, and you should not host your own. I think it’s tacky to register for baby gifts for your second, third, etc. baby, but if a friend wants to throw you a shower, I don’t see anything wrong with that.
Fun debate and all, but I think the real question here is not whether it is bad form to have a shower for a third kid but whether it is bad form to have a press event with a bunch of rent-a-celebrities and try to pass it off as a legitimate baby shower among friends and family? This was a totally manufactured PR event and so any discussion of propriety is pretty much irrelevant, in this case anyway.
This. Best comment of the thread.
Yep!
I have differing opinions on baby showers. I LOVE the idea of celebrating the new baby (before or after birth) and all of the love and possibilities that come with that new person. I like the idea of women of different generations getting together to support a new mom, sharing insider tips on the craziness.
However…I heard one lady in my office talking about her shower like was all about HER. She said, “I want everyone to sit around and watch me and tell me how cute I look with my bump and watch me open presents.”
I find that completely revolting. Nauseating. IMO, being a mother is all about being selfLESS, not selfish.
I agree with you there. The shower is for the baby, not the mother. One of the most boring elements of a traditional baby shower (besides the stupid games) is watching the mom to be open her gifts. I would never subject anyone to that. Not only is it a complete waste of time, but one gifter might feel that their smaller gift is inadequate as opposed to another gifter’s and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel that way at my shower. A simple thank you to all who contributed gifts for the baby at the time of the shower, followed by thank you cards after should suffice.
This is clearly a party thrown by her agency – hence the press release, and the random famous people (Chelsea Handler?). And am I the only one that thinks its tacky that Alba brought a diaper cake of her own products?
2nd or 3rd showers – obviously we know it goes against etiquette. But if someone you like wants to celebrate their upcoming baby, are you going to wag your finger? Or if the people in their life want to throw a party?
I don’t think it’s tacky. But I’m probably a bad example. I had 3, count them, 3 showers for my 3rd kid. So I’m probably not the best person to ask.
yeah..it’s tacky but if her friends can afford and want to give her more stuff (that she could afford anyway) it’s going to happen.
It’s part of being wealthy and out of touch i guess. I DO hope they put some charitable element though..in lieu of gifts- a donation to a children’s charity perhaps?
That might take the tacky element down a notch.
I wouldn’t begrudge anyone a shower no matter if it was the third or tenth baby, but if it were me, I don’t think I would allow gifts. I wouldn’t feel good about it, especially if I was as well to do as Gwen is. Donations to a children’s charity, or something similar, maybe.
Off Topic – can you imagine how awful it would be to eat a doughnut in the same room as Gwyneth Paltrow? Oh, the judgements wrapped in “advice” she would undoubtedly throw?
In my neck of the woods, baby showers are not really about “celebrating a new life”, as sweet as that sounds. They are about setting up a mother with supplies for a nursery. Presents are expected at showers, in fact, they are requested, which is why they are typically not thrown by the new mother or her family, (because it’s a bit gauche to ask for presents for yourself or family members) and why they only occur for a first baby (because once the nursery is set up, you can use it for subsequent babies). The mom gets things like car seats, baby bouncers, cribs, receiving blankets – things that can be used over and over.
I have never ever been to a shower for a second, third or fourth kid. It’s just not done here. I have cooked meals for moms expecting number two, three or four; I’ve purchased gifts for kids two, three, four and beyond, and I’ve been to “welcome baby” parties where we meet the kid and hang out for a while. And of course there are bris, christenings, baptisms and just visits with newborns. It’s not like the lack of a baby shower means that subsequent kids are ignored.
That little lecture aside, Gwen Stefani can and will do whatever the heck she wants, as can anyone else. Different courses for different horses and all that.
Some people have too many rules! You can’t throw a baby shower for yourself nor can a family member. Stupid rules. I wish she’d ditch the red lips.
With my first born, a couple of my friends threw me a shower at a very nice restaurant’s private banquet room. I had no idea it was even happening. My friends invited me to lunch and surprised me with the shower.
With my second born, my sister in law organized a shower for me and threw it at her house. Again, I had nothing to do with it, and had no idea it was going to happen. I thought that I was going to her house for a scrapbooking session. lol
Should I have walked out immediately because it was a second shower? (my first born was a son, second born was a daughter). Should I have walked out because it was being thrown for me by my sil? That just sounds incredibly rude and disrespectful considering the amount of time, energy and effort involved. I’m kind of disgusted at how many people judge what should be a beautiful experience. Who gives a shiz who is organizing it? Who cares how many previous children there are? Who decided that it has to be for the first born only, and any subsequent children can just suck it? I kept snippets of ribbon and paper from my showers to put into my childrens’ baby books. BOTH of them like to look at their baby books and read who came to their shower, gave a gift, what they said about the impending births. How would it make my second child feel (or any other children for that matter) if they opened up the first born’s baby book and saw all of the love and messages from their shower, and then opened up theirs and saw… Nothing from before they were born. No words of love from relatives, no snippets of ribbon and paper from the gifts given in anticipation of their birth.. That’s just cruel in my opinion.
yea people are getting carried away with throwing their own baby showers when they already have a toddler at home. They do gender reveal parties, then baby shower, then 1st birthday and christening. We have to buy presents multiple times in a short period of time for the same kid, its ridiculous