For months now, the Enquirer and Star Magazine have been running stories about Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi and their “marriage crisis.” I always sort of ignored the speculation because… I don’t know, I want them to be okay. I like Ellen and I always thought that she and Portia were happy, although I have noticed how much Portia messes with her face, which I always consider a bad omen for relationships. Here’s another bad omen: In Touch Weekly says Portia checked into rehab back in May.
In Touch has exclusively learned that Ellen DeGeneres’ wife, Portia de Rossi, secretly checked into rehab in early May. A source exclusively says in the new issue of In Touch that Portia entered the Passages Malibu rehab facility in early May for a 30-day treatment.
The source adds that Ellen visited her every weekend to provide support while she was there. Portia had previously sought treatment for an eating disorder after hitting 82 pounds in 2000.
Radar has more details from the story – their sources claim that Portia checked into rehab after an “ugly fight” with Ellen, and that Portia has been struggling with drugs and alcohol.
“Portia hadn’t been happy for a while and was drinking and isolating [herself], and Ellen confronted her. Portia lost it and blamed Ellen for driving her to drink because of her controlling ways and said she wasn’t in love with her anymore. Ellen was crushed and screamed at Portia to get out.”
It was just days later that the Arrested Development star checked into Passages in Malibu.
“Portia entered Passages Malibu rehab facility in early May for a 30-day treatment for drugs and alcohol,” another source told the magazine. “Ellen visited her every weekend to support her while she was there.”
According to the report, the couple’s marriage was riddled with jealousy, lies and fighting.
“Ellen is domineering and Portia is passive. Ellen always calls the shots, and Portia never complains,” the source said. “She felt like a prisoner in her own home. She went from sipping white wine occasionally to drinking at least a bottle or more a day and topping it off with a pill. It got to the point where she was out of it four nights a week. They’ve had vicious shouting matches — with both of them yelling cruel, soul-crushing put-downs that they both deeply regretted. Portia often felt like she’d been cut off from her friends because Ellen wanted her all to herself. Portia felt like she let Ellen turn her into the ultimate Stepford Wife… Her bottom wasn’t like the dramatic ones you see on a Lifetime movie. It all progressed slowly, and she finally realized she was powerless and not in control anymore.”
Wow, that’s a lot of undercover drama. Do I believe that Ellen could be controlling and that Portia is the passive one in their relationship? Yeah. I could believe that. I could also believe that Portia is doing the Stepford Wife thing because… quite honestly, that’s how she seems most of the time. Anyway, I hope Portia works out her stuff and I hope the rehab helped her.
Photos courtesy of WENN.
That’s so sad. They were both in long-term relationships when they met, so I was never surprised by cheating or lying rumors, but I still don’t want them to be true. Portia obviously has a long history of body image issues, so the face-tweaking might not *necessarily* indicate any marriage trouble, but I do agree that it’s a red flag… especially for this particular couple.
If this is really about Ellen’s controlling ways, though, it’s another huge red flag. Eating disorders are all about regaining a false sense of control over your life/mind/body, and addiction often stems from feeling powerless (if not, it eventually makes you powerless). If it’s true, I hope Portia got some thorough mental counseling in rehab, and that she’s continuing to fight for her own sense of self worth… independent of her wife, or her meals, or her substances, or her face, or her career.
Yes, I always assume with lesbians being two women that the relationships will be more even keel. I am wrong again. 🙁
A bisexual friend I had in university once told me that we all complain about guys messing us around, but that it’s essentially benign, because when a woman hurts you, she means it. She knows exactly what she’s doing.
I love Portia. She’s so talented. I read her book and she has a lot of demons and seems to have these built-in bad feelings about herself. I believe this story and I hope she gets well, and that she and Ellen can strike a better balance because they seem to truly love each other.
I read her book to and would agree. Her drinking seems more about self punishment and escape like her anorexia did.
Whoa, wait, what??! Damn, this sounds like a terrible mess if it’s true. I hope she gets the help she needs-and also that they get help as a couple.
Her book was really fantastic. She seemed very wise; I hope the rehab helps her, because she obviously grew up with a lot of issues.
This sounds more like rehab for personal problems…like any couple would have a fight involving drugs/alcohol/etc. I don’t see these two breaking up…if she went to rehab, then Ellen supported her through it. Us not knowing much confirms to me that they keep their problems private and work them out. Usually people with public problems are the ones that break up.
I read her book about 2 years ago about her struggle with an eating disorder. It was frightening how easily it can slip in. (I have thought she is and was still VERY thin since then.)
At least she’s trying to get help, but I cant help but hate magazines for outing this kind of thing. They’re not Kardashian fame whores, this could be incredibly damaging.
It is rather shocking how rehab centres, hospitals, doctor’s offices etc all seem to have “sources” willing to go running to media outlets with gossip about celebrities.
Yeah- that’s not cool. It’s one more excuse to not get help; knowing that the public will likely find out.
I get the total opposite vibe but I don’t know why. I get the impression that Portia is the controlling, slightly on edge one and that Ellen is the more laid back but smitten one. This could be coming from exposure to Portia’s days of being married to Tobias on Arrested Development. Sometimes I feel like that’s sort of her genuine person. That she liked Ellen but married Ellen mainly for the fame and sticks around because of the life style and attention it provides. This is all totally and completely off the cuff speculation though – just an impression.
I’ve heard a lot of stories of Ellen being less than the sweet person she portrays. I’m more likely to believe the Ellen as the controller because of those stories being around for a few years now – not just suddenly since all of the Portia/Ellen things came up.
I’m surprised, but I haven’t heard any of those stories. Ellen just seems to have such a great energy about her. But I guess just as with any public person the one we see is much different from the one that emerges when the cameras are off.
I know someone who was a host of a now cancelled and low rated television show (not in America) and she tells me about some of these bigger television celebrities she has met in her country. A lot of them appear to have energetic and fun personalities, but in reality are very rude, uptight, and obsessed with their public persona which is completely different from who they really are off camera. I believe that Ellen can be controlling. I would believe that about anyone who is able to become a media mogul.
Exactly. I mean, I adored Ellen, and I think a lot of time she can be fantastic. But I’ve heard she’s put her staffers in crappy positions at times, and isn’t quite the Ellen that she puts out. But that’s the thing – it’s what makes her money. I don’t think she’s a bad person, but I think she can be mean.
And I mean, I don’t know how valid the stories are, either. I think though, that there is at least some truth in it. Either way, for the hell of it, heres a link to some – though I’ve heard others where she’s FORCED staff to adopt animals regardless of their situation/whether they could care for them as well:
http://gawker.com/320505/former-writers-assistant-calls-bullshit-on-ellen-degeneress-crocodile-tears
Around season 2 of the Ellen talk show an aquaintance of mine interned there. He told us after Ellen was terrible to work with and to cater to. A swtch would flip very instantly. I didn’t believe him then… I think I do now.
When Ellen got with Portiaand when Portia promoted her book on Ellen’s show they talked about her ED and that struggle. Ellen approached it as she had to take control of Portia because Portia couldn’t beat it on her own.
Struck me as odd.
Overall they seem normal enough and all relationships have their issues. I just hope Portia isn’t self destructing.
Most comedians have a dark side. They all talk about it. At the end of the day, no one is perfect.
I believe the stories as well, simply because you don’t become famous, rich and powerful by being an easy-going, laid-back person. If that was the case stoners would be running the world.
There’s a really uncomfortable video online of Jennifer Aniston “hosting” the Ellen show interviewing Ellen and Portia. It felt stilted, unfunny and tense. Portia talked about how she didn’t anticipate marrying Ellen meant they would never settle into a house for long. They don’t unpack everything, they move so often – like on average more than once a year.
The interview bit was aiming for humor – ha ha, that crazy Ellen likes to fix up homes and sell them right away again – but Ellen seemed defensive and Portia spoke carefully.
It also gave a rare glimpse into the distance between Ellen’s talk show, “regular gal” persona, which makes her so relatable to the audience, and her actual life of incredible wealth and privilege.
It reminded me of the time Oprah did a show about bed bugs, germs, that sort of thing. She said she has fresh sheets put on her bed every other day & the guest said, “But that’s simply not practical for most people’s lives.” The audience cheered. I thought, wait, they actually turned on her! The audience who normally spontaneously combusts when she enters the room & stumbles over themselves to applaud her every statement actually turned on her! I never saw it happen again, but it was beautiful to behold.
I don’t have any ideas about their personalities behind closed doors, but I definitely had the impression that Portia loved ‘Ellen’ the star, more than Ellen the person. I think Portia knows she would be totally insignificant (in Hollywood terms) if not for her relationship. I think she wanted to be a step ford wife and live in a beautiful mansion, with beautiful things, but even that gets boring…
This makes me sad. I read Portia’s book “Unbearable Lightness,” and it really made me feel for her. She struggled for so long with her eating disorders and her sexual idenitity, and it seemed like she’d finally reached a good place. And now to deal with alcohol and drugs? That’s awful.
I have to admit that I did have some concerns when she was promoting her book. She was interviewed by Oprah, I think, who asked her how she overcame all her issues, and she said “Ellen did it – love just healed me.” And love can do many things, but it can’t heal you of your problems and addictions – only you can do that. So I was concerned at the time about how things turned out. I hope she gets the help she needs.
I didn’t read the book in part because I really don’t find Portia de Rossi that interesting, and also, because the interviews she did in support of the book were painful to watch. My impression was that Ellen kind talked her into writing the book so that she would have something to do.
@Rhiley, As a former anorexic I read the book because I had that connection to it. I wasn’t expecting much, but it was actually extremely well-written (was there a ghostwriter? Who knows). However, I felt like there were still some warning signs then (ex: her becoming a vegan, which is not a bad thing in general, but is not recommended for an anorexic, I feel), and her admitted dependence on Ellen. Sad to see my concerns were borne out.
I think there’s something to this. Portia has always seemed like a mess and Ellen seems to always have relationships with women who are troubled. This is a symbiotic relationship, I think.
ETA: By “mess” I mean – she has deep and seemingly unresolved issues that are maybe “fine” on the surface. But I think anyone who jacks their face like that, and is still so, so thin, has problems they still need help with.
Ellen had one woman wandering lost in the desert claiming to be from another planet after they had a bad row so a little retreat to Passages seems quite likely, and not too scandalous for another. I think Ellen likes the crazy ones.
+1
Wait, what??
Anne Heche.
Or they go crazy after being with her. More likely!
@Rhiley: That’s twice you’ve made me laugh in this thread. 🙂
Right. There is just some people who dig crazy.
This totally caught me off guard! I forgot all about that!
I remember Anne Heche had long beautiful hair during her soap days and she chopped off her hair so she and Ellen looked like twins. I don’t know who’s idea it was. However, Portia also had long beautiful hair before she got twin hair with Ellen too.
Coincidence or falling for the pixie trend? Who knows.
Portia was stunning when she first appeared on Ally McBeal (pre anorexic). It’s so sad she fell into the rabbit hole.
I think Portia has always had issues of her own long before Ellen. She was anorexic and clearly still has body and self-esteem issues because she’s been very thin lately and has gone overboard with the plastic surgery. I also read that Portia might want children and Ellen does not. That is a relationship deal breaker right there. If any of this is true and Ellen is controlling or feels differently about having babies, then it is time for Portia to move on. She just doesn’t seem happy to me so I believe these rumors.
I still think Ellen is really funny- she has such great timing, but I think she’s fallen into the Oprah trap and all her fame and power has become all consuming. I saw that Ellen was going to have a magazine just like Oprah- and that magazine thing with Oprah was the beginning of her massive ego exploding. I hope Portia gets control of her life and moves on.
I always see the Passages Malibu commercials, “I use to be an addict, but now I am not.” Ellen looks and acts so fun, there is probably a dark side to that. She is one of those celebs that I want to think what I see is what I get.
I know! I always see them. I didn’t think it was fancy enough for a celeb.
Comedians, in the past, have been revealed to be more than than difficult, and hard to live with. (Peter Sellars comes to mind. ) I’m sure others on the board can think of some. One of the most unpleasant encounters I’ve ever had professionally was with a well-known comic actor. He was mean and angry and suspicious like I had never seen before.
I don’t know anything about Ellen Degeneres. I do like her humor and one-woman stand-up comic performances. I like that she came out and broke that wall while Rosie O’Donnell was looking so miserable and grimacing through her show.
But we have no idea what she might be like at home. You never know — whether it is a well-known actor or celebrity, or your mechanic, or bank teller, or anybody! Even priests.
So, are you going to let that hang or tell us who it was?
oh, no! i love lindsay. i mean, portia. 🙂 i hope she gets better soon.
Or Amanda as she was born
I wonder what a divorce settlement will look like?
Textbook abusive relationship.
Portia is obviously weak-willed and Ellen is intent on chiseling away at what little self-esteem she may still have.
This marriage has become too volatile and will probably end badly.
I really love these two together, hope everything is okay!!
I like Ellen, but agree that she’s probably a lot different behind closed doors. Pardon me for generalizing, but it seems that alot of comedians are. They knew this story was coming out which explains the deluge of pap pics of them looking lovey dovey in NYC recently. I give them maybe two more years.
Yeah, I wrote my comment above before seeing yours. Agree about the comedians part, but I’m clueless about the shenanigans of the PR world.
I’m calling this a BS story until Ellen or Portia confirm because their are pictures of Portia out and about in May and June. Not to mention both Us and Radar are unreliable sources.
Oh come on, In Touch is the magazine that reported that Jennifer Anniston was confirmed pregnant. They always print untrue stories. Take everything they write with a big container of salt.
Portia’s got a mean PR machine alright. Sure, blame it all on Ellen, and not your obvious psychological problems.
I definitely believe that Ellen could be controlling. I’ve always thought it was so odd that she started looking more and more like Ellen since they got together. I’ve wondered about Ellen’s role in that transformation. Creepy!!
A lot of people start to look like their spouse and some look alike even before they marry.
I don’t think Portia entered this marriage for any reason but to be married to the person she fell in love with. If she were using Ellen as a catapult, she would have taken her career a lot further than she has. She seems quiet and low-key.
I’ve wondered about Ellen’s real estate shopping sprees over the years. While it’s made her more money, was this done to keep Portia busy? I also wonder if Ellen has been faithful to her marriage, as I’m sure women both straight and gay hit on her all of the time. She is rich, powerful and endearing, so I can see it happening.
It must be tough for Ellen and Portia. I’d like to see them make it, though.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Ellen stepped out on the relationship. After all, she was engaged to Jodie Foster’s current wife (Alexandra Hedison) when she broke up with her and pursued Portia. Yeah that’s old gossip but I still remember it!
Self-destructive tendencies never completely go away. Once an addict always an addict. But you can keep it in check, many people do. Perhaps something is off in Portia’s life right now. Who know? It’s not necessarily the spouse’s fault. I hope she’ll be OK.
I think Ellen is typical of any person that is driven and succeeds in their careers. It is the huge focal point of their life. If their partner is not a strong person in their own right, they can really have issues spring up. Portia has never appeared to be somebody that is confident in themselves and driven by their own success. While these are the very things that attracted them to each other in the beginning, it can also be the things that destroy them as a couple later on. I would hate to be a celebrity couple and be constantly subject to everybody expressing their opinion about the state of their union. Truth is, there is probably only a handful of very close confidantes that know anything for fact, and they are not the kind that will ever reveal any confidences.
Body language in the photo w/Ellen holding her hand over her midriff supports the theory that’s she’s controlling — that chakra is associated with that.
You know what I noticed and it is very sad? That when something this bad happens to someone society rushes to lay blame on the people surrounding that person. I remember my friend lost her husband to suicide and she told me how hard it was for her, because people were talking as in “did she drive him to do it?” They had good days and bad days but when a person does something so self-destructive, like harm themselves, in the end it’s their decision. I’m not saying that external factors don’t play any role in it. I’m saying that it’s very unfair and dangerous to automatically assume that it’s their partner’s fault.
My friend wrote a book about her struggle with her husband’s suicide, by the way, called “Beautiful in Black: conversations with suicide”.
I have a lot of fondness for Portia from Arrested Development and Better Off Ted. Whatever is going on with her, I hope she’s OK.
I can attest that the rumors you hear about Ellen are true. I worked for this woman and she was nothing but snide, and unpleasant. Certainly, anybody can be friendly on-camera for an hour for a million dollar check. Portia was always very sweet and timid and very shy. I say run far away, Portia and find your own happiness. Ellen’s self-hate and angry personality is not worth it!
Anyone ever read the book “Sita” by Kate Millet?
here comes the ‘happy’ side of gay marriage,,,,,,,portia will take her to the cleaners………
lawyer ‘s mouths are watering
this could be the biggest gay divorce payout in history!
Didn’t her last big romance end with her partner Anne Heche. having a mental breakdown, walking around backyards of California, telling people UFOs were after her?
Hmmm now I wonder about Ellen’s personality in relationships in private?
I like her, I hope it’s not true, but she might be hard on her partners. Like I said, I hope it’s not true, that would be so disappointing, she seems so nice and generous on her show. I hope Portia is ok.
….but also InTouch is not the best source. IMO
There isn’t anything worse than being with a partner who is controlling and domineering. It wears people down like water over rocks. It’s constant and relentless. It’s bad enough with a man, I can only imagine how awful it would be with a woman, with much more power and money than you doing it to you.
I pray that Ellen and Portia can get through these bumps and bruses. All to many times the person seeking rehab has lost there privacy and the tabloids make the healing process harder to pass. Families give up on eachother and thats a shame. Ellen may be over protective but thats better then letting go. I hope this passes as all things do and they continue loving eachother as they promised in there vows.