Kris Jenner will release a cookbook full of family recipes: unnecessary & tedious?

lucifer book

The pimp game is never done for Lucifer’s Homegirl. The problem – well, one of the problems – is that Kris Jenner wants to be famous on her own, like her daughters. Kris is the pimp who wants to ho herself. She keeps trying to sell herself as a legit celebrity and no one is really buying it. But she keeps trying. Now Kris has a new cookbook. Surprisingly, it’s not called “Spicing It Up With Lucifer!” or “Rotten Hellscape: From My Kitchen To Yours.” No, Lucifer’s Homegirl has named her first cookbook: In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites.

First of all, look at the cover. They took Kris’s face from fifteen years ago and Photoshopped it on someone else’s body. Secondly, this is the same publisher who published Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s first (ghost-written) novel, Rebels: City of Indra. Here’s how the book is described:

From America’s favorite momager comes a new cookbook and entertainment guide filled with Kris Jenner’s very own insightful tips and favorite recipes.

Kris Jenner has done everything under the sun from starring as the matriarch in Keeping Up With the Kardashians to writing a New York Times bestselling memoir entitled Kris Jenner… And All Things Kardashian. She now hosts her own television show, Kris, where she chats with friends and family about beauty, fashion, and lifestyle. This book is another way to bring fans into Kris’s home with recipes and entertaining tips that can be used by anyone and everyone.

Join Kris as she rolls up her sleeves to dish out tips on how to do it all and have it all in her new cookbook/entertainment guide.

[From Amazon]

I do wonder how well these forays into publishing really sell. Is there really a market for Kris Jenner’s memoir? For her “business tips” (which involve the back of the pimp hand, I’m sure)? And does anyone really care about her recipes? It just seems so… overkill. I realize the Kardashian/Jenner motto is to monetize, sell and pimp every single part of their lives, but what’s the market for a cook book from a woman who isn’t known for anything related to food?


Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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79 Responses to “Kris Jenner will release a cookbook full of family recipes: unnecessary & tedious?”

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  1. Kiki says:

    Raise your hand if you think this woman really cooks… Or has?

  2. HappyMom says:

    Wow-it’s so 1982. Right there with Kathie Lee Gifford’s cookbook.

  3. GeeMoney says:

    The fact that she spelled “kollection” with a K makes me want to stab myself in the neck with a pencil.

    Will the HORROR that is the Kardashians ever end (except for Khloe… she’s cool)?

    • Tracy says:

      When I read that Kim has an app and that it is a best seller, I resigned myself to the fact that these creatures are never going away. :-(

      • jwoolman says:

        I think it was already a best seller before Kim’s face was plastered on it, if that will help soothe your soul. “Her” game is just a remake/new edition of Stardom:Hollywood by Glu Games. She just fits in the slot that was already in the game, the role of “mentor” who pops up to persuade you to part with your realspace cash periodically. How Kardashian, a match made in heaven (or more likely hell). But I think if you are patient, you can become a star without losing any real money, as is usually the case with these freemium games (free to download but they count on a percentage of players forking over real money for boosters to avoid waiting). The target audience is probably rather young, and youngsters aren’t known for their patience.

    • Sea Dragon says:

      “Stab myself in the neck with a pencil”. SO funny!!!

  4. Oppie says:

    What is wrong with her neck? They really do s*ck at photoshopping!

  5. lassie says:

    I do not want to eat whatever konkoction Kris kooks. Or ‘kooks’ because we all know she just feasts on the blood of virgins…

  6. Gina G says:

    You have GOT to be kidding me!!

  7. paola says:

    She probably uses the oven as a shoe storage and yes, if I wanted a nice ass as Kim and Khloe I’d definitely eat what they eat.
    Kris can use her daughters’ ass as shelves while she ‘cooks’.

  8. Nick says:

    No doubt that this F’ng Kookbook will be a Best Seller and I will lose more faith in humanity. Someone once told me, “remember 50% of the people in the world have less than average intelligence”. I didnt agree but saw his statistical point. Makes some sense in how these people and this vile woman are so famous….

  9. Candy Love says:

    Is it me or does her head look photoshop on the body?

  10. GoodNamesAllTaken says:

    Because we all associate the Kardasians with cozy dinners around the kitchen table…

  11. Lizzie K says:

    Featured recipes: Glazed Butt, Smoked Butt, Coke-Braised Butt, Crockpot Butt, Spice Rub Butt, Pulled Butt on a Bun.

  12. Dawn says:

    Everything she tries to do for herself turns to krap. So this will not make a ripple in the cookbook world. Look for it to be in the bargin bin very soon. Besides only a fool would believe she actually cooks for anyone ever. Nope the Kraps are going to go down one by one and every time the newest Kardashian opens his mouth they go down a little faster! As far as Kim’s app goes who could listen to that whiny nasal baby voice to play such a stupid game. If anything that game shows how really shallow and mentally and emotionally stunted she is.

  13. Loopy says:

    I have seen a number of episodes of kuwk they are always eating out or they seem to have caterers and personal chefs serving them.

  14. Faye says:

    Please let there be a forward written by Kanye.

  15. Murphy says:

    I’m pretty sure both Kendall and Kourtney have called her out for only knowing how to make spaghetti. Spaghetti every night before Kim’s A$$ bought the house a chef.

  16. Dany says:

    This leaves me cold… i mean we live in a world where Pippa Middelton has a cookbook and Goop has her own lifestyle site… nothing can shock me anymore.

  17. Lv says:

    In her favor at least Kris clearly consumes moderate portions of food unlike many celeb cookbook authors! Side note I saw Hayley Duff now has a show on the cooking channel.

  18. Sarah says:

    “Kollection…” Really? Ugh, this woman. And the photoshopped head looks like it is plopped on crooked!

  19. Nicolette says:

    For some reason the image of her standing at a bubbling cauldron, dressed in black and cackling as she stirs her brew comes to mind.

  20. Jackson says:

    Everything about this woman and her family is unnecessary and tedious!

  21. Lv says:

    I just reread wind in the willows and Kanye reminds me of Mr. Toad. Would LOVE a forward from him!

  22. raindrop says:

    How to cook a pizza, by Kris Jenner:
    1. Google the nearest pizza parlor
    2. Call the nearest pizza parlor
    3. Give them your address and credit card information
    4. Wait 30-45 minutes
    5. Ta-da! Fresh, warm pizza

  23. eliza says:

    EVERYTHING this woman and her family does is unnecessary and tedious.

  24. jensies says:

    I’m just so grateful her rack isn’t on display that I don’t even care about the creepiness of the Photoshop Mad Libs of her face and body.

  25. me says:

    The book’s “description” is very out-dated. She doesn’t have a talk show anymore !

  26. dorothy says:

    What’s that I hear? The sound of a swirling water going down the toilet, much like this family’s relevance. Cookbook sounds like a last ditch effort to squeeze whatever $$ they can out of their dwindling fan base.

  27. Kimble says:

    When did anyone see a Kardashian eating anything on a plate – except when they are eating out? They all eat salads out of plastic boxes so unless Kris is serving her cooking in to-go boxes …

  28. holly hobby says:

    Does this woman even know how to cook? Why is she insulting us with a cookbook? Who will buy this tripe junk?

    Also, stop it with the “k’s”. Kollection isn’t even a word. This whole family is bringing down the English language!

    However, if they wanted to K it up, why isn’t this called a kookbook? Yeah, it fits them to a tee, Kook (crazy) book.

  29. angee says:

    The head is too large for the body on the cover. Looks bobbleheadesque.

  30. chaine says:

    she cooked up a few hundred million dollars by mixing together a video camera, a pair of butt implants, and fresh urine, so I’m looking forward to seeing the results of her other recipes.

  31. Mixtape says:

    Honestly, a [c]ollection of Kardashian-Jenner family favorites has potential–I’m thinking Olympian health food with an Armenian influence (YUM). But just looking at the cover you can tell these recipes are all stolen from back issues of Better Homes & Gardens. It’s possible the photographs are as well.

  32. swack says:

    I don’t buy any celebrity cookbook, much less hers.

  33. Adrien says:

    I’m more interested in a Honey BooBoo’s mom cookbook. I want the recipes for sketti, redbull mountain dew punch and cheesy balls.

  34. Ag says:

    “Kris is the pimp who wants to ho herself. ” LOL

    enjoy the fruits of your hoes, kris, don’t try to upstage them. #Pippatip

  35. Mrs. Wellen-Melon says:

    Kardashian kuisine is as genuine as…
    A) Khloe’s butt
    B) Kourtney’s rack
    C) Kim’s everything
    D) all of the above

  36. Ruyana says:

    OMG! Look at the cover of that “cookbook”. Where did her neck go? Did they photoshop it out to present a “younger appearance”? Hate this hobag. Wouldn’t buy anything she sells.

  37. What the Hell? says:

    What is she doing to that pepper?

  38. lindy says:

    I would ask “What idiot would buy this cookbook?” but then I remember how popular Teresa Giudice’s cookbooks have been.

  39. jwoolman says:

    I think the Demon Mother did cook originally, and so did Khloe when she was delegated as the real mom for the Jenner girls. Khloe was basically a live-in nanny since her early teens- they even taught her to drive at 13 so she could take the little ones to the ER if necessary. But once the show money started coming in, they seemed to rely on a hired cook and lots of takeout. So the cookbook should be short. Just the phone numbers of cooks for hire and lots of takeouts that deliver.

  40. LovesGossip says:

    The pie on the cover looks good.

  41. cas says:

    So funny Kaiser, I honestly thought this cover was a little mockup that you had quickly photoshopped for the story. “A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites”, just wow