Tori Amos: ‘Somehow we think if another woman fails, we succeed’

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Since this week has been filled with endless sad stories, I just thought… why not some Tori Amos? These are new photos of Tori in NYC. You know what I love about Tori? She still dresses like it’s the 1990s, without apology. That’s her thing. She was a creature of the ‘90s and she still loves that fashion, fugly shoes and all. Tori is still promoting her latest album, Unrepentant Geraldines, and this week she gave a nice interview to New York Magazine. You can read the full piece here, and here are some highlights:

She doesn’t consider herself an art scholar: “I’m an ignorant person on that front, and that’s fine.” She says she can “hear” art. “It seems silent, but it isn’t. If you can allow yourself to be invaded by what’s around you when you’re looking at it, then you might be called to prayer.”

Her life in Cornwall, England with British husband Mark Hawley & their 13-year-old daughter, Natashya, whom she calls “Tash.” When, in the mid-’90s, Amos told Hawley she had a “crush” on him, he made isolation a condition of their partnership. “He’s very antisocial,” she says, strolling slowly across the gallery floor. “When we got together, it was ‘No Hollywood, no metropolitan city.’ He said, ‘I’m kidnapping you, and you’re going to thank me for the rest of your life.’ ” She cackles. “It’s good I married a Brit because I needed to laugh. I wasn’t laughing in 1992.”

Dressing like a mom: “Tash tells me the worst thing a mother can do is show up at school and all the guys are saying”—Amos adopts the accent of a lewd British teenage boy—“ ‘Your mother is gagging for it.’ Tash said, ‘Do you want to make a girl’s life hell? Be that mom.’ What I’ve had to learn is there is casting dressing for certain situations. You don’t want to really, really stick out at any end of the spectrum because it should be about [the kids]. It shouldn’t be about the attention you’re causing because you’re in pleather at the assembly.”

Women integrating spiritual and secular aspects on her album: “It’s about, How can I be spiritual and hot? Women have no problem playing that role of mistress, but the key is integrating mistress and wife. When they have to be them, their authentic selves [in bed], they’re not sure.”

Women supporting other women: “Somehow we think if another woman fails, we succeed. We’ve all been guilty of kind of chuckling when one of the sisterhood poops on her Jimmy Choos. You think, Oh, dear! But then you think, Ha-ha-ha-ha. Mine have no stains today. But then you think, What have I just done? Who have I become? You cannot allow other women to shame you. You can’t allow it into your aura. I don’t like that word.”

Whether she’s an iconoclast. “I think of myself as just a voice that has to ask certain questions. Today it’s good to be 50 and in the music industry. But that’s today. But there are other battles you’re always having… Not everything you do will be revered, and as an artist you have to know that. But there must be something really delicious about the battle.”

[From Vulture]

She’s sort of Oprah-ish, but I like when Tori says it more. Now I kind of want to see Oprah interview Tori. That might be sort of magical. I also sort of want to see Tori at the parent-teacher conferences in ALL PLEATHER. But I understand what she’s saying about feminism and girl-on-girl drama and all of it. And I think she’s wonderful. We need more women like Tori Amos in music and in the world. Honk if you love Tori!!

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Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

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41 Responses to “Tori Amos: ‘Somehow we think if another woman fails, we succeed’”

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  1. NaturalFro79 says:

    **HONK**

  2. Sullivan says:

    Honk, honk!

    • kri says:

      Honk, yeah. Who is her husband?? I said I would never marry again, but if I could get me one just like him…oh, take me to Cornwall, anti-social, hot Englishman.

      • Amelia says:

        She lives in Cornwall?
        This is amazing, maybe I’ve seen her and not even noticed!
        Come visit and we’ll set you up with a surfer, Kri 🙂

  3. Miffy says:

    God I love her! Even if that whole interview made me very ashamed of myself for just reading the Kim vs Beyonce post and snickering hard at the bitchery.

    • Jadzia says:

      Seriously. It’s like we’re all for supporting women, but not “that woman.” See: Kim Kardashian, Kelly Rutherford, Halle Berry, Hillary Clinton, Kate Gosselin, Kate Middleton, Miranda what-her-name, etc etc etc. None of whom I am fans of, but it’s just depressing to watch people do backflips to vilify the ladies sometimes.

      • Bob Loblaw says:

        I don’t agree, I complain about men I don’t like just as much as women. I’m tired of people telling me I can never criticize another woman. I am entitled to think the Kim K’s of the world are parasites and say it in a public forum. I also criticize Woody Allen. It has nothing to do with gender, I just don’t like either one of them.

      • Lauraq says:

        Jadzia, isn’t that ok though? Can’t you say, I support women in general, but that woman behaves terribly and so I don’t support that? Saying Kate Gosselin needs to stop pimping out her kids is different than saying Lindsay Lohan has saggy boobs, LOLZERS.

  4. V says:

    She is lovely. I do have to say that I don’t enjoy women (or men) failing because I always feel there are all these “others” watching and judging us…so one failure is a failure for us all. However, people who have hurt me? Yeah, I get a temporary chuckle when they fall, but it’s followed almost immediately by shame since I have an enormous guilt complex.

  5. Jessica6 says:

    I’m totally on board with her views on women judging other women. Truth is that for a woman, her ultimate enemy are the catty and insecure members of the sisterhood. I’ve seen and experienced this time and time again. Men are, in general, more supportive of women…at least that’s what I’ve encountered.

    • Mixtape says:

      I agree, with a twist: I think as women, if we succumb to the cattiness and insecurity and living life through comparisons to other women, we are our own ultimate enemy.

  6. bettyrose says:

    Wait. ..did 90s fashion ever actually go out of style? I like that her comments are inclusive. Yeah, we’ve all had thoughts we know are wrong, validating ourselves by others failures, but the real test is how much we work to overcome the temptation to use other women as the benchmark by which we judge ourselves.

    • Tiffany :) says:

      “the real test is how much we work to overcome the temptation to use other women as the benchmark by which we judge ourselves”

      That was really beautifully phrased!

  7. heebeegeebee says:

    I am no fashionista but those shoes are NOT 90’s style shoes. They are horribly new millennium, fugly shoes.

  8. Ag says:

    man, i used to love her in college.

    as an aside, she is also apparently a good person who gives back. she’s doing a fundraiser this weekend here in DC for RAINN. 🙂

    • Tiffany :) says:

      I feel like she has been involved with RAINN for a while, but I might be wrong. That is a great organization and I am so glad she supports it!

      • Ag says:

        a friend of mine works there, and they were super happy to get her to do this – maybe she’s been supporting them financially before, and not doing in-person fundraising gigs, i don’t know. but, totally, good for her.

      • Samtha says:

        Tori was RAINN’s very first spokesperson, way back in…’92? Something like that. 🙂

      • Tiffany :) says:

        Getting people to donate time is such a challenge, I am sure they were thrilled that she’d do a fundraiser in person! That is great that your friend works there, it is a very worthy organization.

      • Ag says:

        @smatha – thanks, i had no idea! tori IS awesome. 🙂

      • Al says:

        I believe she was raped, and that’s how she got involved in RAINN.

      • Sarah123 says:

        I’ve been honking for Tori since her first album came out when I was graduating high school. RAINN was a big part of her work early on. I always thought she helped start the organization, but if not, she’s been involved since the beginning.

        Her first album “Little Earthquakes” includes a song about her experience being raped. “Me and a Gun” is sung a cappella – no instruments. When she sings it live, the hair on your arms stands up. It’s absolutely electrifying and makes you want to cry and rage and rise up in solidarity with every one of us who has suffered at the hands of another.

        She’s one of the great empowering women whose art has fed my own life and work. Muse, mother, mensch.

  9. Tiffany :) says:

    Honk, I love her! I haven’t listened to her new music in a while, but I do have a special place in my heart for her.

    I understand what she is saying about women and competition. I feel very lucky, because I have a twin sister, so that greatly affected my mind set in this area. I learned early on, what other people succeed or fail at has nothing to do with you, so getting jealous is only a waste of energy. One person being awesome in no way prevents other people from being awesome. Your biggest competition is yourself, and focusing on “personal best” instead of competing with your peers is way to challenge yourself in a healthy way and not go insane from rivalry. Plus, I really love celebrating other people’s awesomeness. That is one of the great joys in life, the variety of ways that humans can be amazing!

  10. JB says:

    Honk, honk, honk. My eight year old loves her too (although more for her piano skills, she’s a bit young to glean any messages from her lyrics) and I offered to bring her to see Tori live when her tour comes to our city. She said no, too crowded. 🙁 Hopefully she will continue to make music for a long long time.

  11. Wallamalooo says:

    HONKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

  12. Suzanne says:

    LOVE TORI.

  13. Samtha says:

    HONK!! I love that–“poop on her Jimmy Choos.”

  14. Lis says:

    Those glasses need to go in the trash. :S

  15. Nev says:

    TORI FOREVER.

  16. rococo says:

    I do like her – and thankfully her face appears to have calmed down somewhat – but any woman engaging in the amount of Cosmetic Surgery she did a few years back is not in an ok place psychologically – she looked like a life size troll and it was upsetting

  17. Brittney B says:

    HONK HONK HONK.

    I’m so happy whenever you cover Tori (or Fiona), so thank you for this. You’re right; it was much-needed after a week of agony. I’m so thankful I grew up in the 90’s, with female role models like her.

    I know every generation thinks the next one is hopeless… but I’m having a very hard time finding parallels in today’s music industry. Can anyone help me out here?

  18. Mel says:

    I think women competing with each other makes great stories and the best gossip. There’s an art to it. Sorry if I’m not supporting the sisterhood!

  19. Bella Bella says:

    Half of who I am today is a result of listening to Tori Amos in the dark of my teenage bedroom.

  20. Lisa says:

    HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK☺️

  21. Leaflet says:

    Sorry, kind of tired of this “we’ stuff. It’s like equal rights groups, whom causes I support and feel that I am apart of have a tendency to say stuff like “we put each other down”. Nope, I don’t think that I am increasing my chances at anything, a job or any other advancement opportunity for that matter, by someone else’s inability to gain or stabilize footing for a particular opportunity that we both are considered for. And if we are going for the same opportunity or position and it’s either me or the other person (whether it be another minority in race or gender), no, I don’t believe it to be beneficial for me to gain success and then yank away the latter behind me so that a person of my minority group can’t advance. However, don’t expect me to assist or over assist someone with whom I am in competition for this opportunity if only one of us can get it. Obviously the position is available for only the best candidate to win. Nothing more. No need to over analyze it as if everyone is not helping each other solely because we’re spiteful. No, it’s a competition, and you want to win the position. Sometimes I tend to think others of the same group feel that you sometimes owe it to another member of your group just because they look like you or have the same experience in life as you. That’s not always true. I try to pick the best candidate for the specific opportunity. Also, if I’m not the best candidate for a particular opportunity, I try not to take it too personally because obviously the other person has a skill that I don’t have in my possession. No need for me to act all thin skinned and take it personally. However, I will try and learn the skills I need to be put in the position where I will be chosen for that opportunity if the situation ever arises again. Don’t get me wrong, I help people who look like me and who don’t, but some assistance needs to be awarded based on merit as well, and we must accept this.

    • Leaflet says:

      Also, I laugh sometimes when people mess up, whether they look like me or not, usually because they are obnoxious towards me or are putting an energy that I don’t agree with out in the atmosphere. Then I laugh in my head. Not because I think it makes me look better, but because I feel that they deserve it in some way. Also, sometimes I laugh at people when they fall or make mistakes because it’s just funny. Nothing more to it.

  22. LolaB says:

    Honk, honk!

  23. Lucy92024 says:

    HONK!!!!!!!!! I love her so much.

  24. Camila says:

    HONK!!! Keep the Tori stories coming please <3