Eddie Murphy is set to star in the Fantasy Island remake, based on Aaron Spelling’s hit show that ran from 1978-1984. Predictably, he’ll play multiple characters.

Why is this man allowed to step into a movie studio unsupervised? Who are the people that are green lighting Murphy to produce such cinematic dribble?

E! Online reports:

It’s a bird, it’s a plane… No, it’s “de plane, de plane!”

Eddie Murphy is set to star in a big-screen adaptation of Fantasy Island, the Aaron Spelling-produced primetime soap that ran from 1978-1984 on ABC and made a white-suited star of Ricardo Montalban, who played the island’s mysterious owner, Mr. Roarke.

As he’s wont to do, Murphy will play multiple characters in the film, which is being written by Norbit co-scribes Jay Scherick and David Rom, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

There was a phrase that they used in my neighborhood when I was growing up to describe when someone did something to death: “He killed it”. Eddie Murphy has killed the whole playing multiple characters thing, and there is no point in him trying to bring it back in all his movies. It was funny when he did it for Coming to America (back when he didn’t bow down to the Mighty D’s — Disney and Dollars), it was mildly amusing when he did it for The Nutty Professor, but he killed it right during “Nutty Professor 2: Janet Jackson Can’t Act Her Way Out of a Paper Bag”.

Also, why hire the cinematic boneheads who helped Murphy bring (I’m having trouble just thinking about it, my mind feels all dirty and used now)
Norbit to the screens? What studio is ignorant enough to hand these buffoons cash to ruin Fantasy Island, a part of television history? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again - why does Hollywood always wants to mess with a formula that was already good to begin with?

Please, dear lord, don’t let Murphy play Tattoo AND Mr. Roarke. After watching him play that horrible Asian stereotype in Norbit, I lost all will to live and was only brought to life by an usher who gave me CPR with stale movie popcorn breath after the movie was over. I still suffer from Post Traumatic Stress because of it.