I know Ansel Elgort, 20, as the lead in The Fault in Our Stars, with Shailene Woodley. It wasn’t until I read his new interview with Elle that I remembered that he was also in Divergent with Shailene, the second installment of which comes out in March. For some reason his character wasn’t that memorable. Elgort comes across as nerdy to me, and he sort-of confirms that in this interview. He’s also surprisingly candid. Elle asks him about his first time having sex, and he admits he was 14 and he had “no clue” what he was doing. He also talks about dating and about the “amazing sex” with his girlfriend, whom he doesn’t mention by name:
You’re 21 years old. Don’t you want to sow your oats?
I like romanticizing romance. I don’t know how open I’m supposed to be here.As open as you’d like to be.
I think I could say this: If you like someone and the sex is really good and you enjoy spending time together, why wouldn’t you make that person your girlfriend? Why go around dating random girls and having terrible sex when you can be with someone you really like?You once tweeted, “My paradise is sitting on the couch, producing and playing Grand Theft Auto.” Is it hard to find a girl who enjoys that?
It is. But I have that. So I’m happy.You’re dating someone?
Uh, when does this story come out?Why? Do you have a date you’re going public with?
People are going to find out eventually. It’s no one famous. To be honest, I don’t mind talking about my experiences in life, but details aren’t for everyone. But if you can find a girl who you can go to an EDM concert with, have a conversation with, who will sit on the couch and watch you play GTA for three hours—and then you go to bed and have amazing sex? That should be your girlfriend.What can you tell me about your first time?
I was 14. I had no clue what I was doing, and neither did the girl.What would you have done differently?
I didn’t even make the lighting good. That’d be one thing I’d do differently. It was, like, fluorescent, bright bedroom light, like, over the covers.Did you wait a long time to do it again?
No, no, no. Definitely not. The only thing that made me feel better was doing it again.Okay. Thank you for your time.
Don’t make me sound like a playboy, because I’m not.You’re into monogamy! We’ve established that.
Yeah. Cause if someone I’m monogamous with reads this, I don’t want them to be upset if it sounds like I’m a playboy.
14 sounds so young to me, but I have a 10 year-old son and I don’t want to think about it at all. In terms of Elgort’s girlfriend, he’s said to be dating his high school sweetheart, Violetta Komyshan, whom he split with and reunited with recently. The two met at LaGuardia High, the Manhattan arts school on which Fame was based. He shouldn’t be worried that he sounds like a playboy in this interview, he should be worried that he sounds like a self absorbed teenager. He makes the relationship sound like one of convenience, but maybe this is how he gushes. Elle is wrong, Elgort doesn’t turn 21 until March 14.
Photo credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet
Hmmm, maybe he’ll grow into his looks.
LOL my thoughts exactly, he’s so unfortunate looking.
Really I think he is so cute and has gorgeous eyes. I think that he is just a bit dorky which doesn’t come off as attractive. Give him 5 years!
@Loopy I think he’s fug but different strokes I guess, I’m not judging anyone who thinks he’s cute 😉
He’s adorable in a childlike way. But he definitely doesn’t have that oooo come ‘er boy thing going on.
He’s pretty dorky looking, and his clothes make it a little worse
he is average looking. i dont know what the hell he is wearing in one of those pics but how is a guy like him “fugly”?
sometimes i think we spent so much time looking at picture of “perfect” women and men that we cant even see anything good in people who are simply average.
He’s not ugly, but for an actor he is kind of annoying-looking. He makes Justin Bieber look tolerable.
I skipped the Shailene Woodley movie because his face and his acting looked kind of irritating to me. I don’t think Woodley is as pretty or as good of an actor as people make her out to be, but I don’t think I find her face as excruciatingly annoying to look at as this guy’s.
@maria “how is a guy like him fugly?”
I don’t know friend, how do matters of personal taste work? I find him really unattractive, it’s not that deep.
He’s got one of those faces he needs to grow into. As he loses the baby fat, etc, I’m sure he’ll look totally different by 25, by 30, by 40, and so on. If I were a child, I’d probably think he’s the bees’ knees, he’s got that unthreatening aura that young girls respond to (which is why they always latch onto relatively harmless pretty boys like this guy and Robert Pattinson).
In the header pic he looks so much like Sting. The rest not so much. At all. No.
Bad actor.
I just do not see the hype around him at all. I did not think he was all that great in The Fault In Our Stars, he was fine but nothing special.
He was unbearable in tFioS. Just so smug, I wanted to punch him.
Woodley and Laura Dern made that movie watchable.
That’s so sad. If he keeps thinking that’s the perfect relationship his future girlfriends are in for a world of trouble. Self absorbed much? I’d say he’s still a baby but 20/21, grow up.
Exactly. His poor girlfriend! Though, he is right about one thing; if she really doesn’t mind sitting on the couch, watching him play GTA for 3 hours and is still willing to have sex with him, he should hold onto her. I doubt there are many girls out there willing to do that.
meh, women do all sorts of crap at the beginning of a relationship. if they last she’ll probably grow out of it, and he’ll complain she isn’t a “cool girl” anymore.
I could have sworn it was an open secret that he was gay. Maybe I’ve read too many blinds about it. I like his music!
I have a 14 year son and the thought of him losing his V makes me sick, then sad. He still sleeps with a night light and was having a heated debate over who’s the best character on WII U.
On a related note, we’ve pounded in my kids the importance of Condoms. They asked,”why is it important? “I responded, ” you know how I throw my arm out when I need to break quickly? Think of it as a gesture of protection. “
My 14 yr old 8th grade daughter is still very excited about her first kiss last month – it’s so very sweet and it’s age appropriate. I can’t believe a 14 yr old anywhere is ready for sex, just way too much too fast.
I agree, I have a 14 y/o son and the thought of him and sex saddens me. Seems just like yesterday he was my baby and I still call him sweet pea. I said to him you have your entire life for sex. UGH depressing. He did try to have a gf he met at diabetes camp, I asked where does she live, “I don’t know” so that didn’t last long.
I like your condom analogy. My kids also aren’t ready for sex but they seem to know plenty about what’s going on. They hate to talk to me about it, though. My 14 year old said the other day when I mentioned something about STDs, “Mom, that’s what health class is for.”
people are different though, my first time was quite early as well. but it’s good when can kids can be kids for as long as they can, so i say your son is lucky 🙂
It must be so weird when your kids start getting to that age!
I thought that was a really personal question and in poor taste.
I Agee. That question was way too intimate and invasive. Is nothing sacred anymore?
Awww still a baby, he seems harmless though.
I don’t hate him, I think he sounds like a pretty typical teen. Twenty, twenty one is still really young, I know people in their mid to late 20s, even 30s, who are just as self absorbed and immature.
As for losing his virginity at age 14, yeah it happens. My sons are 14 and 15 and they are nowhere near having sex, in fact they’ve never even kissed any girls or begun dating. But plenty of kids are paired up at that age and clearly doing it. I’m so glad my sons are not in a rush, focusing on school and extracurriculars and friendship. Everyone’s different.
Not to alarm you but kids are very secretive at that hormonal age. I remember what kids were getting up in the back of buses and on school trip from age 12.
I hear you, I know how secretive I was at that age, but trust me they aren’t doing it yet, not even close. 🙂
Sounds like he wants cool girl.
Watch him play GTA for three hours?! What? Does she have no life?
So the girlfriend is relegated to sitting on the couch and watching him play video games? I know a lot of people who lost their virginity way too young and it’s a shame. 14 is too young.
People, I don’t want to upset you, but what Loopy said: I remember many mothers who were convinced their kids (especially boys!) didn’t know what to do and would never, when in reality, the teenagers were far, far from virginal.
OTOH, my parents were always open about it-there never was changing the chanel when someone kissed or something (“it’s natural, human and way of expressing love”, they’d say) -and, as I’ve learned a couple of months ago, all 3 of us girls waited till 18; while my super-religious and conservative, bible-thumping cousins were doing it much earlier.
…”while my super-religious and conservative, bible-thumping cousins were doing it much earlier…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isn’t that the truth.
I did not enter private school till I was in High School. And it was a very exclusive Baptist private school.
And let me tell you… all those uptight Mothers of the bible thumping teen girls, I went to school with… were just convinced I was going to corrupt their virginal babies.
I had come from “clutch*their*pearls” public school. I was a harlot as far as they were concerned. And I was the farthest thing from that.
But everyone of those girls… maybe 15 of them… hadn’t been anywhere near virginal since middle school.
If your comment is directed at me, I actually do know what my kids are and aren’t up to. To be having sex, they’d have to be spending time with girls and believe me they are not. Times are different than when I was a kid, when I had huge chunks of time on my own to get into trouble. Kids these days, mine at least and most of their friends, don’t have the time to be experimenting in friends’ basements. Social down time is very rare.
I wasn’t going at anyone in particular. I have 18 year old sister and 17 year old nephew, and I’m 28. Teenagers always find the time. As for not having any time on their own and not socializing with girls at 14-I find that pretty…eh. Based on my experience and the ones of my peers, I’d say honest, open approach is much more important than controlling where your child is and what is he/she doing 24/7 bc you just never can do that 100%, but to each their own. Your parenting, your choice. I’m just saying it like I’ve seen it.
I get it. But it’s not as if I’m scheduling my kids against their will to keep them from socializing. Their activities are important to them, most of which involve other boys their age — music, bands, and sports. I have no illusions that once they get a taste of more open-ended teen down time, with sex and drinking and drugs, they’ll be happy to spend their time doing that whenever they can. All I can do is encourage them to make good choices at that point.
They may just be experimenting with boys instead of girls if they aren’t around girls often. That sort of same sex sexual experimentation happens all of the time; even amongst straight boys.
Weird. He keeps saying if you “like” someone, or “really like someone” then date her. I noticed the word “love” didn’t come up at any point, and as for the rest I don’t really see violent video games, EDM concerts, or whatever he’s wearing in the first photo as adding up to “romanticising romance”. :p
I don’t think he sounds self-involved, I think he’s figured out that common interests and chemistry make for a good relationship. I’ve got fully grown adult male friends who still do not understand that. I’ve got a guy friend who is really into sports. He loves all sports, watches sports constantly, plays in multiple intramural leagues, sports is his #1 hobby/time investment. And yet he keeps dating prissy women who do not like sports. Inevitably, this becomes a problem in his relationships. I keep telling him to date women who like sports, too, and are willing to watch football, basketball, etc, with him. To me it sounds like Ansel Elgort has learned what my friend hasn’t: if there’s something you want to devote a lot of time to, best to find someone who shares that interest.
Plus he’s 20. He doesn’t need to be in a super serious relationship. My boyfriend and I at 20 spent a lot of time smoking weed, playing video games, and having sex. I remember that boyfriend very fondly.
Although it is interesting for gossip, I just feel this younger generation is the TMI generation. Some things are a bit more enticing when you don’t share it with the whole world. Here’s a tip from a much older woman for him though, if the only thing he would do differently about his first I have no clue loss my virginity sex at 14 is change the lighting, he needs to reassess that.
Heh, good point. Although I have to say TMI is not limited to the younger set. I know plenty of middle aged women oversharing on FB. One mom I know just posted a photo of the handcuffs her boyfriend bought her for Valentine’s Day. Gross.
watch out, Lena Dunham explained to us that TMI is a sexist word.
I said the same above – I thought it was a really rude question.
lol now people have to explain themselves for not screwing around…
I’ve first heard of him when he was cast for Divergent, and while I used to find him adorable back then, he deeply annoys me now. I didn’t even go to see TFIOS because of him. I don’t mind him in Divergent cause it’s easier to ignore him in it, and his character (spoiler alert) turns out to be a piece of shit. Also, he’s not even close to having the sense of style he thinks he has.