Here are photos of Jennifer Garner out with her kids in Atlanta, Georgia yesterday, where they stopped at a party supply store. Garner is in Atlanta filming the no-doubt schmaltzy movie, Miracles from Heaven. As you can see, Garner is still wearing her wedding ring, and we heard last week that both she and Ben Affleck are still wearing their rings, (at least part of the time), “for their kids“. They’re also striving to keep the divorce amicable, and to peacefully coparent for their kids’s sake. That sounds admirable from an outsider’s perspective, but one wonders how that works exactly and if it’s clear to the children that their parents are splitting. Those questions come up again with this latest report, that these two are “playing happy family” for their kids.
The pair, who fell in love on the set of 2003’s Daredevil, keep their own interactions to a minimum. Between her early set calls and late nights, “she and Ben haven’t spent time together in Atlanta,” says a Garner source. “They communicate via text.” And should they happen to bump into each other inside the 5,114-square-foot rental, “they’re cordial,” says the source. “They both put on their happy faces and don’t show any signs of anger or frustration. They definitely play happy family in front of the kids.”
They’ll continue to do so in L.A. Insiders say the pair are renovating the guesthouse on their $17.5 million, 3-acre property in L.A.’s Pacific Palisades so Affleck can bunk there – at least temporarily. “They’re going to try it out,” the source says.
Despite their issues with each other, “they want to fill their childrens’ lives with as much love as possible and make sure they know they have two parents who love them to pieces,” says a source. “Jen’s main focus right now is that Ben will be there for the kids – and he has been this week. She’s happy that the kids are happy.
This comes from the Boston Herald, and a similarly worded story appears in US Magazine with additional quotes like “They want to fill their children’s lives with as much love as possible and make sure they know they have two parents who love them to pieces.” Lest you think Us is cribbing from the Herald or vice-versa, we’ve seen how the Garner-Affleck PR team has leaked similar stories to multiple outlets. Ben is from Boston and I bet his people have the hometown paper on speed dial. There’s no doubt they’re trying to control the message.
My ex and I try to coparent in a positive way and I’ve been accused of the same thing in pretty much those same words, of “playing happy family” by keeping things peaceful and by not arguing. I don’t see the point of fighting about small things, and it’s not productive at all. However one of my friends went through this with her parents and she finds it maddening that Affleck and Garner are doing this. She said that “Kids know when something is settled, kids can understand when mom and dad need to be apart.” They do pick up on these things, and they know when mom and dad are fighting, even if they avoid each other and keep wearing their rings. Kids want to know what to expect day-to-day, and this kind of arrangement could keep them in the dark. It’s clear that neither Affleck or Garner has been happy for some time, although Garner is definitely coming across as the better actor.
Photos of Garner are from 7-19. Affleck is shown on 7-15. Credit: FameFlynet
I agree with your friend – children are brilliant in picking up things.
Better tell them the truth and give them time to process instead of lying to them and give them false hope.
+1
This, kids are not stupid.
I just want to address the myth that all kids hope their parents will stay or get back together. Seriously for years I wanted nothing more than my parents to divorce because they were miserable and there was always tension in the house. I was really relieved when they broke up and I know a bunch of people who’ve felt the same way. The Parent Trap makes a great concept for a movie but it’s not true to life.
I agree with that. I think it’s a myth. But I also think playing happy family gives kids a false sense of reality and confuses and already confusing situation. They need to be honest with them. At least in my opinion but I’m not their parents so I guess I should have a seat.
I wished my mom would divorce my stepdad for over 10 years. It finally happened once I was older (16,17) but I couldn’t have been happier.
Agree with that. Except my parents didn’t divorce (practicing orthodox Catholics uhg). They made me and my siblings’ lives miserable for a long time.
yup agreed. I was so pleased when my parents finally decided to separate. 10 years too late in my books!
Same here.
It depends on how long they are together, and how many fights the children witness. And, how old the children are. There is no one size fits all for this situation.
I don’t think it is a Garner-Affleck press onslaught. This smells entirely Affleck to me.
While Ben was in Vegas during the weekend! Some people some him there.
There is a huge difference between being polite and cordial to your ex and pretending everything is exactly the same after agreeing to separate. If they are genuinely wearing their wedding rings for their kids as a grown up child of divorce I’d say put your energy elsewhere because that’s of no use to them. Figure out a way to co-parent and move on.
I thought they separated almost a year ago and are now divorcing. Kids need to understand the difference.
I don’t know why they think this will make things easier for the kids to adjust. How does playing house help kids understand what life will be like with their parents divorced?
I think there is a very big difference between keeping things peaceful and trying to play “happy family”.
Who knows which this couple are choosing. I hope the kids are going to be ok, but I somehow think that will fall on Jen, not on Ben. He seems like a complete asshole to me.
I really don’t get how they think wearing their rings will somehow make this easier on the kids. Hopefully they’ll figure out that they can be loving but also honest. They can be civil to each other without confusing the kids into thinking they might still be together.
On a side note, I like the lighter hair color on her.
I had a friend wear her ring until she signed her divorce papers. That gave her a sense of finality.
Maybe that is Garner’s mindset
Blech, these stories are worse than the Goopsters’. “Consciously cheerful coparenting”.
I don’t think it would be confusing to the kids, as long as they have explain what is going on in the easiest terms possible. Ben has been working nonstop for the past few years and I don’t think he has been around that much anyway. If this was anyone else, people would say “it’s wonderful that they are putting the children’s feelings first”, but I know that Ben Affleck could save a burning church full of orphans and puppies and would be criticized…
…..save a burning church full of orphans and puppies…..
Chuckle – I really like that and will copy.
There’s definitely a double standard that people apply to him compared to other celebrities. There are celebrities who do and say the most scandalous things and people still overlook those in their judgments. Ben Affleck has had 0 personal scandals in the last 10 years or his entire career maybe. There’s so much gossip about him being an excessive gambler, drinker, cheater and bla bla bla but there’s never been any evidence to prove any of that. Yet some people take it all for granted and judge him based on what are simply gossip rumors. The only thing even remotely innapropriate that he has ever done is that he went to rehab for drinking 15 years ago, mainly as a pre-emptive strike because his father had been a “real alcoholic” and he confessed he stopped drinking, easily even, because his main problem was dealing with fame at the time..big hoopla. He won an Oscar at 25 and became an overnight superstar, do YOU know how that feels? I feel like he’s one of the few celebrities who are really famous yet people don’t really know or refuse to judge him for who he really is.How can you watch an interview of his for instance and not realize how intelligent, nice and mature he sounds? Yet someone on this comment section called him a “complete asshole”. Why? What has he really ever done to deserve being called that?
You are a publicist’s dream!
Exhibit 1 of assholishness: Censoring PBS show
Exhibit 2: Crazy drunken misogynist Canadian interview from years back
Exhibit 3:: Lots of substantiated rumors of infidelity, gambling addition, and cocaine addition
Zero personal scandals ever just isn’t accurate. His very public engagement ended after a stripper claimed they screwed around at his bachelor party it was a huge scandal. Then he ended up in rehab and in the original stories he claimed not only to be an alcoholic but to have a gambling addiction now he drinks and gambles. People see that behavior and get that his public persona isn’t accurate.
@Luca76….but, you are talking well over ten years ago!!! Do people still judge Angelina Jolie for wearing BBT’s blood around her neck, and doing drugs, etc. (well, I guess some idiots do). People are not the same in their 30’s and 40’s, as they are in their 20’s….God knows, I am totally different than when I was in my 20’s, and I hope people wouldn’t judge me on the stupid things I did back then….Their marriage didn’t work…it began with Jen getting pregnant…not a great way to decide to get married. Many, many peaple get divorced everyday…it’s not usually just one persons fault….all the Jen is a saint and Ben is the devil crap, is stupid…no one knows what went on in that marriage, except the two of them…
People aren’t the same as in their 20s sure, but if someone makes a big statement about going to rehab because they are an alcoholic then starts drinking again there is a problem that’s called a relapse. Alcohol addiction doesn’t cure itself because you’re married and mature.
As for Angelina the biggest difference is whatever changes she made she clearly made them for herself . Then she decided to start a family, then she got involved with Brad. The change while sudden clearly came from her own impetus to improve her life. We saw her actions reflect that she is different because she wants to be.
On the other hand Ben didn’t really change. He was still credibly attached to co stars, still drinking, still gambling, and celebrating the ‘Mad Men’ aspect of his marriage, looking miserable whenever he was with them.
But the other stories last week were about Ben’s lawyers advising him on what to do in order to increase his chances of getting joint custod, and that included making an effort to be physically with his kids frequently.. This reasoning also makes a lot more sense re: the rings – they or he needs to show he’s still acting as a respectable, committed, non-misbehaving parent. We have to assume there are legal discussions going on regarding custody, right? So this makes sense.
I do think Ben continuing to live on the Pacific Palisades property could be a big disaster. I mean, ultimately, they’re both going to enter new relationships, which would make that situation beyond awkward. Even Chris Martin lives in the same neighborhood but not on the same property.
WTF would Ben have been doing that put joint custody in jeopardy?
JoJo, I’m afraid it could be worse than that…
IF the rumors about painkiller addiction (oxycontin and a synthetic form of the drug that’s like heroin – or, ugh, heroin itself) are at all true, then by allowing him to stay in their guesthouses, Jen may be trying to keep Ben close to the kids for fear that they could lose their father if she kicks him out, also giving him a place to detox or rehab quietly and privately.
This weekend, I was watching some of Ben’s TV appearances (cooped up indoors as I was with the rain) because I remembered one in particular, a sitdown with his brother Casey to promote Gone Baby Gone, when Ben looked skinnier to me, also sort of slurred his speech, and I wondered why…
So I compared it with his appearances over the years on The Daily Show (yes, I was that bored and bothered), and he looked noticeably different then and when he was making The Town from previous years, especially now that he seems so big and bulky.
The difference is not just in his body, though, but his eyes, voice and energy…
There’s something going on, but I suspect it has been, with all the highs and lows, for some time and could be, as someone else pointed out on another thread, all symptomatic of bi-polar illness, easily confused with a narcissistic personality, which Ben has also been “accused” of being.
Anyway, as for Jen maintaining her wholesome motherly image throughout all this and by doing this film, maybe their lives have been so dark in the last few years that she’s looking for a little more light and hope these days.
And as far as the kids go, whether their parents are honest with them or not, they’ll be observing and looking for clues as we all did in our own childhoods and why we’re here discussing these people today.
With so much riding on him and them now, no matter what it is, I can only wish them well.
Maybe even though they put out the PR spin—it’s time for this family to just be a family in whatever way works for them.
Ben looks bloated and boozy, Jen looks the same. I’m sure at this point it’s not really news anymore.
Kids don’t attach emotion to other peoples wedding rings, that’s silly, they’re wearing them because one party cannot let go and is guilt tripping/bribing/threatening the other into go along with it until the divorce comes though. As Ben removes his at the first opportunity, even doing so in front of hundreds of fans and the worlds media (passive aggressive????), my guess is Jen.
I don’t believe they’re going to remain living together, that’s absurd, Ben probably already has his new woman waiting in the wings and she’s not going to be welcomed on the family property. If they want to remain close they could live on the same street, I suspect they’ll want to live further apart so there’s no bumping into new partners.
First paragraph nailed it.
I thought the same thing, the kids don’t pay attention to rings. Their ring game is for the media, I think.
I think he’s having to play by Jen’s rules on that. He would have his off completely in a New York minute if she wasn’t in his ear.
This is the spin the media puts on it. As far as I can tell they are trying hard to act friendly for the kids. But, as you all mention, kids are smart, and I am certain that they have been told why their parents do not talk, do not share a home except in the most minimal sense, etc. I don’t understand the ring issue, maybe they are keeping them until a divorce is pronounced, but I find their efforts at civility admirable, just like I did for Goop.
Agreed completely. From what I understand, they’re trying to make an incredibly stressful situation more amicable for the kids. I can’t fault them for that.
I don’t understand why wearing a wedding ring is so important to these people. Like when they put on their rings – they’re married and everything’s perfect and the next minute they take them off and they’re not married….wth?
About the “happy family” bit maybe it’s easy and normal for them as probably they don’t live together all the time. One is on location and then another one so their kids are probably used to living only with mommy as daddy’s working away from home. I wonder what will happen when daddy brings “a friend” to his home or if kids at school start talking.
Yeah, it’s not like the wedding ring is some chastity belt that will keep Ben from the ladies.
They are just delaying the inevitable. This craziness of him living on the marital property, wearing their rings… nah. Just make a clean break so everyone can move on.
Who know what’s the real deal behind “continue wearing the ring” … it could be a diversion since the media is now focus on the ring watch.
“Garner is … the better actor.”
I think that is the takeaway from this divorce. For years it seemed apparent that these two were on the verge of splitting, but Garner really laid the happy family w/handsome husband act on strong. Ben’s feelings seemed to bleed through more. I can’t help but wonder if it is a matter of her midwest/southern demeanor versus his east coast “grittiness.”
+1
After to act the “perfect family” during some years,they act the “perfect divorce” for the media
And it has the same amount of truth 😉
PS. God, Ben is hot. I can see why she hung onto him for as long as she could.
you don’t stay with someone because he’s hot but because you matched together ( according to my experience)
Not discounting this particular story but doubt that Affleck has the Boston Herald on speed dial or if his people have that number at all. The lady at the Herald tries to work Affleck or Tom Brady into her column weekly or daily if she can do it, for no reason whatsoever. Matt Damon is always referred to as Affleck’s BFF, every time he is mentioned but that title never gets affixed to Affleck. She’s been known to make up stuff and if the woman could find a way to get Affleck to marry Tom Brady, she would die ecstatic.
lol
Haha! Exactly what I’ve always thought of Gayle Fee, so obsessed with Ben and Matt, it has almost made me embarrassed to be from Boston. But we’re not all like that!
Six degrees of Enza Sabbatino
Oh, Enza…
Bets on when Gayle will run an article suggesting Enza is the reason for the split? Is she with anyone these days?
The Herald will print anything, or just make sh*t up b/c they need a story, and there’s just not that much going on in Boston (small pond and all)…http://www.bostonmagazine.com/2006/08/gals-gone-wild/
And that story was nine years ago. Fee has gotten worse without Reposa. Ah, but the Derek Lowe story, they printed stories from his ex-wife for years after he was gone.
This smells like 5 tons of B******T.
First of all, as many of you have correctly pointed out KIDS are not stupid. I also find very insulting that parents would believe that of their OWN children. I am not even the mother, but I know EXACTLY what my 3-year-old nephew is thinking all the time. I can see when he’s uncomfortable, when he’s embarrassed/in denial/angry/offended/when he’s lying/joking/I can see when his feelings are hurt. They might be simpler than us adults in terms of language expression and such, but they absolutely are very much in touch with the little world around them. How could they ignore that and pretend they haven’t noticed the emotional detachment?
2) Let’s assume for a second that yes, three children below the age of 10 might actually care whether or not their separated parents are still wearing wedding rings: if so, what’s the point of wearing them during pap strolls or public events such as Comic-Con? Are we supposed to believe that the said children are constantly updated with all on-line pictures of their parents? And if so, wouldn’t be they also able to read on blogs and tabloids what’s the real situation is like? OF COURSE NOT..
3) Are we really sure that children value material objects such as a wedding ring more than they value the comforting feeling of two parents getting along well and happily co-parenting as reasonable adults??
*Case closed, Your honor*
(sorry for the rant!)
playing happy family for the kids? Too late for that.
I don’t think anyone really knows what is going on here.
No, but that won’t stop people from pretending that they do.
Come on Kitten don’t act like you don’t do the same thing with other celebrities.
Like who though? What celebrity couple am I so invested in that I pretend to know the details of their marriage?
I can’t name a single one.
Sure, I speculate about celebs like everyone else here but I don’t speak with ultimate certainty because I recognize that at the end of the day, none of us can fully understand the dynamics of someone else’s marriage.
*shrugs*
Kim and Kayen for one.
Then what are we all doing spending our time speculating about it on a site called Celebitchy?
There are three sides to every story – yours, mine and the truth – but when it comes to celebrities, you could even add a fourth and perhaps what’s known as the “fifth estate” to this.
The fact of the matter is that nothing is ever black-or-white; there’s a whole lot of grey area in relationships that may never be understood, not even by those who are actually involved in them…
Most of us are here not just to find out what’s going on in their lives, but to sort out the mysteries of our own.
My aunt and uncle did the same arrangement when my cousins were still in grade school. They were divorced but stayed under the same roof but sleep in different rooms (the kids knew about the divorce) but apart from that, they all eat together at the same time, do grocery shopping and eat out like a regular family do. And my cousin who’s now a grown woman and is about to get married next month told me that she appreciate the fact that both of her parents were civilized about the divorce and put the kids first as their priority, that both of her parents were there all the time when she was growing up and they didn’t have to pick which parents to live and to miss out on family stuff. FYI, my aunt and uncle weren’t miserable with the arrangement, they were really good friends and they both dated somebody else’s while in the arrangement and both were open with each other. The aunt finally left the house when their youngest child went to college.
I know it’s a weird arrangement but it worked. So i don’t think this arrangement is about playing “happy family” , it may be really about prioritizing the kids. But i don’t get the wedding ring part though.
I think it is less playing “happy family” and more trying to not show the kids, two bitter soon to be divorced parents. Kids tend to do better when their separated or divorced parents are mature and cordial to each other.
Most children fear that their parents will divorce. In reality what they fear is the change this word brings about. Children see their friends going from mom’s house to dad’s house, not being able to visit due to spending every-other weekend with dad, having to go to a different school, and having a life-style change.
The other issue is when parents bad-mouth each other. These are the people your children love. To hear terrible and hurtful remarks about the other parent can be devastating to a child. “Don’t you love Daddy/Mommy any more?” is a typical question from a child leading to the inner logic, “If Daddy doesn’t love Mommy any more, will he still love me?” or vice-versa.
If you can maintain the stability of a child’s environment and not slander your ex, your child will do much better with the divorce.
Jen is in denial. She still can’t believe her Prince Charming has bailed. After all, she’s so perfect and wonderful and what man in his right mind would leave such a catch? She’s special dammit.
And of course, you know her!
The media in general makes too big of a deal out of people wearing or not wearing their rings. Yes, I get that the celebrities in question are trying to communicate a message to the public based on wearing/not wearing their rings, but that in itself is also silly. It’s just jewelry! How many of us with small kids actually do wear fancy jewelry (or any jewelry) on a daily basis?!
Violet knows. Her body language has shown the truth for awhile now.
I think you’re right. Poor girl. She’s seemed quite melancholy in the recent photos. I certainly knew what was going on with my parents’ discord when I was her age – granted, I didn’t live in a mansion, have nannies, and have my parents flying around the country for work, so I was more proximal to the situation. I hope she does not take too much on as the big sister protecting her siblings …
When my aunt and uncle divorced they had a very friendly arrangement for my cousins. I can’t judge Ben and Jennifer if they are doing this for their kids. Besides that doesn’t mean they are still playing “happy family”, maybe they are some kind of relief and actually a bit happier. I hope whatever they do, result the best for their kids.
The National Enquirer ran a story today, which I have to say, isn’t all that hard for me to believe. It’s about Jen pushing for a second chance. Radar actually ran a similar story more than two weeks ago, but of course, no one seems to be focused on these stories because everyone’s too focused on the “Jen kicked his a$&/&&: out!” story that they want to believe. As I’ve said a thousand times, I don’t 100% believe that version. As for the wedding ring situation, I fully believe she wears it in some martyr-like attempt to show Ben that she still believes in their family, and she’s not taking it off regardless of what he does. I think she believes that maybe over time, this will wear him down, and he’ll come to his senses. For him, I think he wears the ring for legal reasons (wanting to do everything he can to ensure joint custody), and maybe this is why he had the ring off after Comic Con and during his time in LA last week – to show he’s not on board with whatever Jen’s selling. I don’t know, but it’s definitely not hard to see these two as a real-life, miserable Nick and Amy Dunne.
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/jennifer-garners-desperate-bid-save-marriage-ben-affleck
JoJo, I think Jen finally threw down the gauntlet and threatened divorce, hoping this might make him change his ways or even come back to her, but as soon as she did that and set the wheels in motion, Ben had already checked out of the marriage…
Interestingly enough, it was reported this afternoon that Ben showed up in Atlanta with a new puppy selected at an adoption in PacPal a few months ago where Ben seemed grouchy. No wonder, because he was probably not too pleased with Jen for wanting to bring home a new puppy at a time like this and pretending all’s well.
Jen’s probably the one orchestrating all this “conscious uncoupling”, though I do believe he’s the one in denial about his drinking and possible drug problem. She may be as “controlling” as they say, but that could be just her way of trying to help him and their kids.
And all this living in guesthouses may actually be some sort of pre-condition for joint custody, also to protect the studio investment in the Batfleck franchise and his career – or it could be an honest attempt to save him from himself. 🙁
Here’s the Radar story from July 9, which tells a similar narrative to the Enquirer one today:
http://radaronline.com/celebrity-news/jennifer-garner-wants-ben-affleck-back/
They need to Be honest with their kids! They shouldn’t blindside them. Tricking the kids into thinking everything is okay if it isn’t sends the wrong message to them :/