Matthew McConaughey admits his early confusion over female anatomy

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Matthew McConaughey is a great example of why some celebrities are generally liked while others are generally loathed. Matthew is often making fun of himself, letting you know he doesn’t think he’s perfect, telling jokes, and has an easy way about him. And that translates and makes him likeable.

Case in point: Matthew admitted to Elle magazine that he got most of his early ideas about female anatomy from Playboy – back in the eighties, when the magazine featured a more “natural” approach to southern female grooming habits. And that led to a bit of confusion on his end.

Matthew McConaughey might be the epitome of rugged masculinity, winning his leading ladies’ hearts in romantic comedy after romantic comedy, but even this hunky Texan wasn’t always the wisest guy in the bedroom.

“From checking out Playboy I always thought — jeezum, we still don’t have a better word for it than vagina, do we? —I thought it was behind the pubic hair, and it faced horizontal. You know, east/west, not south,” he admits to Elle. “So the first time I got to third base, man, I was hunting for a long time.”

[From OK! Magazine]

As OK! points out, Matthew obviously eventually got the hang of it, since he’s now a dad. But his story makes complete sense to me. When I was a kid, my mom let me watch “Days of Our Lives” with her every day. And every day, she’d say the exact same thing: “I really shouldn’t let you watch this.” As a result, I grew up with some fairly dramatic ideas of what relationships were like: I thought it was completely commonplace for men to wear eye patches, women to slap each other over relatively slight disagreements, and a great deal of human interactions took place in excessively bubbly hot tubs.

But my best misconception was about French kissing. Whenever two characters would start to kiss, their heads would begin tilting and the camera would cut away. This was the eighties mind you; they probably zoom in for a close-up now. Anyway, I naturally thought that if the cameras were to stay right where they were, we’d see that the couple’s heads just kept tilting until eventually they went all the way around. I think I even imagined their legs left the ground; the laws of physics definitely did not apply.

Unlike Matthew I’d luckily figured out the error in my logic before I actually got to that stage in my life, but I empathize with him nonetheless. It’s an excellent reason why children should not rely on Playboy and soap operas to learn about kissing and sex.

Here’s Matthew shopping for glasses in Malibu on Monday. Yep, the paparazzi are getting desperate. Images thanks to Fame Pictures .

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9 Responses to “Matthew McConaughey admits his early confusion over female anatomy”

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  1. Miggs says:

    TMI, dude.

  2. Sara says:

    Oh Jay, you slay me.

  3. Leandra says:

    Doesn’t he mean “north”? I grew up watching Another World” and thought (well other than my parents) that most people entered a room and immediately headed to a tray where they poured themselves alcoholic drinks. That seemed to happen in almost every scene.

  4. Annie says:

    Rofl. Gosh I adore him even more.

  5. Orangejulius says:

    Haahaha! I remember thinking that some supernatural thing was supposed to happen when two people kissed because I’d seen so much stuff where fireworks go off, etc.

    And, Leandra, it was always out of a crystal decanter!

  6. cherryblossom says:

    I can relate…I never had many questions about kissing (I got to watch late night cable) but I did used to think that a penis was like…a tube of flesh that made a circle where it connected with the testicles. Think a nipple ring, but flesh. This is what my health class taught me. No wonder most of my graduating class was waddling down the aisle or breastfeeding.

  7. Abby says:

    hahahahahahaha… best write up ever, jaybird! so funny.

  8. eternalcanadian says:

    lol, ah those were the good old days of pubic hair and no implants in adult erotica. now we run screaming in the other direction if there’s even one strand of pubic hair on the other person or if the guy is less than 10 inches long or the gal is less than 40GG. *scoffs*

  9. BOGART4017 says:

    Leeandra-watching Another World in the 70’s i thought everyone sipped brandy out of sifters by a fireplace on a cold, wintry day (except for us of course). I grew up to find out Brandy is gross and doesnt warm you up. As for the female anatomy–i thought it was just slightly higher. Made sense to me-this way a woman wouldnt have to raise her legs. Stupid me.