Gwen Stefani: divorce was ‘the worst thing that can happen to me besides death’

The Battles, Part 4 episode 9 Season 10 'The Voice' on NBC
Gwen Stefani has a long, extensive interview with LGBT publication Pride Source promoting her new album. She’s asked a lot of questions about her relationship with the gay community, and about being a woman in the male-dominated music industry. To be fair to Stefani, when she talks about her “gay friends” or about one of her sons potentially coming out, she’s asked specifically about that by the journalist, in those words. She’s not bringing it up out without context.

The quotes from Stefani which are getting the most press were when she said that she would be “blessed” if one of her sons came out. Again, she was asked what she would do in this instance. Writer Chris Azzopardi knows how to get a good quote. Stefani was extremely chatty too; she said several times that she’s horrible at keeping secrets. She didn’t exactly dish the dirt on her relationship ending, she only described how hurt she was. She did suggest that she was having problems in her relationship around 2013 and frames it around her own personal spiritual journey, which she credits with giving her the tools to survive her divorce.

On embarrassing her kids and her divorce
I can’t talk about them because they’re gonna be 15 and like, “Mom, why did you say that? You’re embarrassing me!” I have to think a little bit about that now. But I just think… I don’t know how else to be. Everybody knows what happened to me. I got a divorce. It’s the worst thing that can happen to me besides death.

Her divorce was devastating
My whole life all I wanted to do was be a mother and a wife… In February (2015), my family fell apart. It was devastating. I didn’t know what to do. It was a real big secret, but as I just explained, I’m not good with that. I tried everything to fix it. By June (2015), I went into the studio and started writing. I was praying. I had already started on a spiritual journey when I got pregnant with Apollo (in 2013) that was sort of like, “Wow, really? I’m gonna be blessed with a baby… now?” That was a miracle. It just started me on this spiritual journey and thank God it started then because I was prepared when I had the tragedy. I had that nest of spirituality in me.

On criticism of letting her boys paint their nails and dye their hair
Of course everyone’s gonna have their perspective and their opinion, and I know what’s real and what’s honest and true, and that’s really all that matters to me and all that’s important. So, it doesn’t really bother me. As long as my boys are protected and happy and I’m spending quality time with them, whether it’s doing sports or doing nails, it really doesn’t matter.

Q: “What would you say to one of your boys if they came out to you one day?”
I would be blessed with a gay son. You know that I would feel blessed about that. I just want my boys to be happy and healthy, and I just ask God to guide me every day to be a good mother because it is not an easy job.

I’ve been lucky enough to have such a blessed life. I’ve been able to travel the world and meet so many different kinds of people. And it doesn’t really matter if you’re gay, straight, whatever. There are good and bad people, and I would be happy. I just want my kids to be happy, and whatever journey God gives them is their journey.

On how it’s better now for gay people growing up, she calls “The Danish Girl” “The Dutch Girl”
I do know that it’s gotta be difficult to be the alternative, to not be the mainstream, or to be different, if you want to call it that. I feel like it’s less and less (like that) these days, and it’s hard for me to understand because it doesn’t seem different or weird or anything anymore because it just seems so normal to me. I just saw that movie… what was it… “The Dutch Girl”?

“The Danish Girl”…?
Yeah, “The Danish Girl.” I think what was so incredible about that movie was just – that was so long ago. I mean, can you imagine back then? Whoa. Now it feels like nothing anymore.

[From Pride Source]

Her heart’s in the right place, even if she comes across as rather ditzy at times. The entire interview is long and well worth reading if you’re interested in her at all. Stefani references God and feeling “blessed” multiple times, as she’s done in past interviews. She peppers so many religious references into the conversation that she sounds like she’s from the south. It makes me wonder if that’s Blake Shelton’s influence, because Stefani was raised Catholic in California. I’m a former Catholic too and in my experience we don’t bring up God that much in everyday conversation.

As for the end of her relationship with Gavin Rossdale, she describes it as a tragedy and like a death, which she’s said before. Stefani claims that she has a confessional nature but she seems to be hinting around the details behind her divorce, like she’s trying to keep some things from the public but is just dying to tell us. She may be doing that with the lyrics to her songs. “Red Flag” is about a one-sided relationship imploding “Big mistake, red flags fly… you know how to blow up” while “Naughty” definitely seems to be about Rossdale. Read these lyrics, “You did it, and then you hid it…The naughty, naughty things you do. I think there’s something that you might perhaps forgot to say. Locked in the closet but it never goes away.” That closet line sounds telling right?

This is What The Truth Feels Like is currently number one on Billboard’s Hot 200 charts. It’s Stefani’s first number one album.

Gwen Stefani Takes Her Boys To Disneyland

Gwen Stefani Visits A Studio In Culver City

Gwen Stefani is seen at Haneda Airport

photos credit: WENN.com and FameFlynet

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

67 Responses to “Gwen Stefani: divorce was ‘the worst thing that can happen to me besides death’”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Kitten says:

    LOL @ her botox face. Holy crap she needs to chill with the fillers!

    • Jen43 says:

      Omg. How do her children recognize her?

    • Arock says:

      thats more than botox. lips, a lift, filler.
      she looks like a different person

    • Tiffany :) says:

      The make up is sooooo heavy. I feel suffocated just looking at I!

      • SM says:

        I didn’t even recognize her. She says that she is selfaware about that she says now that she has kids. But how come knowing that divorce is worse than say illness of her childeren would feel like in a couple of years when they will read this.

    • Christin says:

      Looks like nearly every person in today’s header pics has filler face.

      • SM says:

        Mg thoughts exactly. I decided not to comment on ben affleck’s appearance on the graham norton show. It looked like every movemwnt in his face could be painful. But since there were also posts about Gwen and Renee I decided not to say anything about his face I thought that maybe it’s and that I am becomg a mean bitch biching about everyones’ looks

  2. Wiffie says:

    That top pic she looks so different and it breaks my 7th grade heart. Why Gwen? Why sell out and do that to yourself?!

    I can’t imagine if she were to break up with Blake. She seems to take breakups harder than the average bear. Editing to add, though its understandable. She only has the big two: first love (always tragic) and divorce after long marriage and kids. No quick flings, short romances, anything. She fell hard and fast for Blake though so I hope she would come out Ok.

  3. Snazzy says:

    I’ve always admired her style and originality but lately I find her grating. Every time Gwen says words Snazzy rolls her eyes so hard she gets a migraine.

    • Anne tommy says:

      Divorce is the only thing worse than death? I think most parents can think of something worse than a divorce.

      • SM says:

        My thoughts exactly. She says she is self aware about what she says about the kids but wverything she says about her divorce sounds so selfish

  4. Locke Lamora says:

    Yep, we Catholics don’t really throw God into everyday conversation.
    Gwen seems nice, albeit extremely annoying. Did she have a lot of surgery? Because she looks like an aged Playboy bunny.
    I don’t think I could ever let the whole world to see me being this vulnerable.

    • Tough Cookie says:

      “aged Playboy bunny” …perfect!!

      Why do these celebs think looking surprised all the time is such a good thing?

      Here in Texas people talk about God all the time. And guns!! Guns and God, God and Guns. I grew up Catholic too (up North) and we never mentioned either LOL

    • JFresh says:

      I think she looks like a contestant on RuPaul’s show. And I don’t believe any of her poor me drama about the divorce. She orchestrated this media show, for some reason I just can’t get over that hunch. Look how she’s grabbing headlines and magazine covers now.

  5. lisa2 says:

    I’ve never been divorced. I guess for everyone it is something different.

    I feel like she is doing with Blake what she did with Gavin. Making him the center of her everything. That she gets her strength from him and his love. I just think for her that is a dangerous course and one that she seems to take with men. Not good.

    but has she always been one of those celebs that is always holding a phone. I don’t remember seeing this from her before the break up. But she is always on the phone now. WHY?

  6. Faber says:

    She’s so annoying and lacks perspective on anything. If she keeps this up Blake is going to start planning his exit because once they pass the early stage of their romance, that heat turns into clingwrap.

  7. Josefina says:

    I like Gwen. I just accepted she’s not as bright as I wanted her to be.

    I think Gwen looks like a great wax figure of herself. Stiff as hell, but I do think she still looks like herself.

    • ohdear says:

      Agreed Josefina. I always hope she is going to be more articulate and have more depth than she displays.
      She has dyslexia, and as a special education specialist, I know that can impact how confident people are in speaking and using more complex words with strangers or outside their comfort zone. Some people with dyslexia have word retrieval challenges, so they stick to safe, simple words. I have often wondered how Gwen (specifically her communication and need to belong) was influenced growing up in our education system 30 years ago with a learning disability that people didn’t understand well.

      (I know there are very articulate actors/musicians who also have dyslexia – the ones that come to mind are men and society had very different views of how men and would should perform in school and with their peers. Boys got more of a pass because they were ‘being boys’. I’ve just wondered if that experience influence how she communicates with the public).

      • Magnoliarose says:

        I was thinking this too. If it took awhile to diagnose then the harm to her self esteem would have been huge.

  8. willful ignorance says:

    She should add bad plastic surgery to that list.

  9. Pam says:

    I enjoy reading the articles on this website however I think it is important to remember this is a celebrity/gossip forum. No offence, but I really don’t care about the author’s political opinions or opinions about God. It is like having George Clooney tell you how to vote or think. Not necessary thanks! I look forward to dipping into websites like Celebitchy for entertainment – not assertions on politics or theology.

    • Polkasox says:

      Because CB added a comment about how she didn’t think Catholics usually mentioned religion that much in conversation? This is hardly a comment on religion, more a comment on Catholic culture. She’s not telling you to go to church, she’s making an observation.

    • Magpie says:

      I think you mean the Clooney article. Sorry, there are lots of other gossip sites if you don’t want politics. I love that Kaiser stood up and said who they are supporting.

    • Jackie Jormp Jomp says:

      Whenever I find myself wondering how US political thinking has devolved into the frightened angry mess it it, it’s comments like your that shed some insight: The very fact that you are upset by someone’s opinion arising, the very fact that you see someone’s difference of opinion as a challenge by it’s very existence, as though declaring an opinion is also a way of saying “your opinion should be my opinion.”…if that is how people in America think, then it’s no wonder your politics is so sensitive.

      Here’s an idea–not everyone is trying to be right all the time. Sometimes they say things because they think them, not because they want you to know you are stupid for not thinking them.

      In any case, she offered no opinion in this article, so you clearly have your “victim mentality” alert set to “always presume to be one.”

      • ladysussex says:

        Whoot whoot! Preach it JJJ!

      • cicada says:

        I’m from the US but agree with Jackie. No one was telling you what to think; Kaiser just made a comment based on her personal experience.

  10. paolanqar says:

    Hollywood women all start to look alike after 40 (in some cases in their 20s too). It should be a sociological study. If aliens came for a visit they would seriously had problem in trying to tell people apart. Gwen looks good but I can’t believe how much work she had done.

  11. Size Does Matter says:

    She has truly led a charmed life if divorce is as bad as it gets.

    • Kate says:

      Right? I want to ask how she would feel if she lost her children, or if she/they developed an incurable, terminal illness. Perspective is something that people in Hollywood are sorely lacking, IMO.

    • islandwalker says:

      No shit. My family has has fatal accidents, mental illness, terminal diseases, deaths way too young, addictions, you name it. If divorce, while understandably devastating, is the worse she’s experienced she should consider herself lucky. (And her ex still wants to father his kids, unlike many ex’s.)

      Additionally, Gwen…ease up on the facial tweaks, make-up and bleach.

    • DrMrsTheMonarch says:

      I dunno. I lead a pretty average life, and divorce was the absolute low point. I really did not think I’d ever recover, even though I know we both tried really hard, did therapy, all that.
      Neither of us wanted our children to have divorced parents, but we simply had too many differences to overcome.
      I’ve done well, and so has he, but we’d both say that our divorce was the worst, lowest point.

    • Colette says:

      She clearly says divorce besides DEATH is the worse thing that can happen to her.I would guess she means the death of her children,parents ,loved ones.Since she wouldn’t have deal with her own death.

      • perplexed says:

        Yeah, and she also admits that she feels blessed for all the other things she’s had in her life too (i.e travelling, meeting other people, etc.). I think her reaction to her divorce is normal, especially if she put being a wife and mother above all of her other aspirations in life. I also think divorce may affect someone more traumatically if they’ve been raised to believe that you only get married once, which she appears to have been. She has an unconventional career, but at heart she’s always seemed really traditional, and according to this article, fairly religious. I guess it doesn’t help that her husband had a secret daughter and a secret ex-boyfriend that she found out about through Boy George…in the media. The long path to divorce was probably as traumatic as the divorce itself. Maybe she’d be less heartbroken if she had just divorced him after 2 years instead of 15 or however long they’ve been married. Divorce doesn’t just encapsulate the end point, but also contains the entire road to getting to the final destination, which in her case, sounded really weird at times.

    • lem says:

      i really don’t understand the flip attitude about divorce—it’s an extremely hard life event for most people. I handle divorces on a daily basis and you are literally encountering these people at what is possibly the worst point in their lives so far. No it’s not death or terminal illness, but the breakup of your family is a horrific thing that I would not wish on anyone. Just b/c it’s not death or terminal illness doesn’t mean it’s not hard. I’ve had plenty of clients tell me that their divorce felt like a death b/c they literally mourn their marriage and the family they no longer have. Most people don’t enter marriage expecting it to end, and when it does, it often shatters peoples lives.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        Yes and so on point. I know it’s excruciating and there are times when it feels like someone stole my life. I don’t know when the pain ends but I’m hoping when it is done I can heal completely.

    • Veronica says:

      As opposed to the majority of us in the industrialized world who live fairly banal lives? Divorce can be pretty devastating. My mother went through pretty serious abuse as a kid, and she still counts her divorce as one of the lowest points in her life. It’s a big deal for a lot of people, especially when kids are involved.

    • sunshine gold says:

      Really? Divorce is one of the worst milestones in life, that’s pretty well documented.

  12. JudyK says:

    Just want to say that I LOVE the cut of her red heels…I’d pay almost anything to find a pair like that!

  13. Michelle says:

    OMG! Enough!! We know….WE KNOW!!! Divorce is tough, very tough. But people survive; people move on. You obviously have moved on to another romance so put a sock in it!

    • perplexed says:

      I wonder if she’s reacting to who Gavin was as a person (i.e a liar?) as much as the divorce. Divorce is probably easier to deal with if the guy you married didn’t have some secret daughter come out of nowhere as well as…all the other stuff. I can imagine regretting wasting 20 years on someone like Gavin. Wasting 20 years on someone else — the regret might be less. I get that she has kids with him blah blah blah, but his lying tendencies seem off the charts.

      • Magnoliarose says:

        That is my take too. I can’t begin to imagine how terrible it felt to hang in there with him only to find more lies. He is one of the worst of the nanny cheaters and liars. I’m sure she felt humiliated.

    • ohdear says:

      I think it is more than tough for some people. She was raised Catholic – divorce to some more traditional Catholics is non-negotiable – it is a sin that impacts the validity of another marriage. And that’s not just in the south. I believe traditional Catholics are in a few other pockets of the US as well (maybe not as much now, but I think back to the Kennedy’s and how much marriage is tied to their Catholicism with annulments and baby making).
      Gwen still spends most Sundays with her parents and goes to church regularly. I do think she would have felt it to be a crushing defeat, and publicly humiliating. I think her message is that she has survived and moved on from something that was very hard for her to do. And she was so much more in love with Gavin than he appeared to be with her – she fought hard to be his wife in front of an audience. That’s got to sting.

    • JenniferJustice says:

      Yes, for her, this may have harder than it might be for others. She is judged by her church, herself, and I’m sure she feels she has disappointed her parents with her “failings”. I’ve wondered about these parents of her’s. They may have been supportive of her career but somebody did a number on this girl because she has never had any self-esteem or sense of worth. As far back as No Doubt, she was letting a$$holes treat her like crap and thinking it’s because she wasn’t good enough.

      It’s also not like she and her husband just grew apart or drifted. He lied about his sexuality. He cheated on her with men. He cheated on her with their nanny who I’m sure was getting laid in Gwen’s home, probably in her bed, probably trying on her clothes and shit. It wasn’t your run of the mill divorce. She got shell-shocked!

  14. Beckysuz says:

    I think any good parent would agree that at the end of the day, aside from the “normal” accomplishments you hope for your kids(college, good job etc.), all you really want want is for them to be healthy and happy. I want my children to be good people. To have kind, giving hearts and strong moral character( which to me means being honest, doing the right thing even when it’s hard, and always treating others with kindness and respect, regardless of circumstance). Those are my hopes for them. So yes, to a good parent a gay child would be a blessing because your child is a blessing. Full stop.

    • Magnoliarose says:

      That is true. I just want my littles to be happy and healthy. I don’t care about what they do for careers or their sexual orientation. I always want to be their safe harbor to come home to and the non judgmental mother they trust and can confide in. I want them to be good global citizens, compassionate, fair, honest, kind and just as you said too.
      I can honestly say my love for them is unconditional and I think she feels the same.

  15. Lucy says:

    She might not sound like the brightest bulb, but still, bless her. She has always seemed like a good person to me.

    • Carol says:

      Yeah, I think so too. But, I don’t know, I never found her to be overly simple, at least compared to her counterparts.

  16. WTW says:

    Plenty of Christians in California. Rick Warren, one of the most influential pastors in the nation, has a church in the O.C., where Gwen is from. Lots of megachurches, small churches and every thing in between. The Northeast is actually the part of the country with the fewest Christians.

    • Portugal the Stan says:

      In my experience, ‘Christians’, especially the evangelical type that like to discuss God, are a very small percentage in California. God and church are rarely mentioned in every day conversation. This is opposed with the South where everyone assumes that you are Christian.

  17. UghInsomnia says:

    Omg I thought she was Faith Hill in the header pic! She looks SO different!

  18. AmyB says:

    I think Gwen is papped semi-regularly going to a Catholic Church near her parents’ house. I just searched Twitter for “stefani” and “mass,” and found a few tweets from people who saw her at Easter Sunday mass yesterday. I think, as she mentions, she’s recently reconnected to her Catholicism in a way that sets her apart from most cradle Catholics. In this situation, the enthusiasm seems like a function of her personality.

  19. Psu Doh Nihm says:

    My mother always said “divorce is worse than death” and I never understood what that meant until I went through my own. I can tell you that for a long, long time, my divorce felt worse than any death I had ever experienced before. I realized, it felt that way because at least with death its final. You can make peace with it. When going through a difficult divorce there is a lot of (at least in my case) trials of reconciliations which would end even more dramatically than the one before. It took two years to finally come to a resolution. You are losing not only a partner, but ideals, and dreams. I’m not saying that you don’t feel that way when someone dies but at least there is no back and forth and back and forth.

    Of course, now that I am many years removed from my divorce and happily remarried, I am thankful it wasn’t a death I was dealing with because as the old adage goes “this too shall pass” and it did. Death would’ve been forever.

  20. Sammi says:

    She is very insecure isn’t she?

  21. Dee says:

    M6 God, she’s starting to look like a freak with all that excess work…Gwen was so beautiful, she should have aged gracefully.

  22. so i think why gwen says and uses the term like death and dying and stuff is because the nanny thing was devastating as it was right under her nose…but when the shit hit the fan and stuff internally started to fall out she realized that Gavin was still having relations with men….. and maybe was sexually fluid in his attraction (bisexual active) and it was just like GOTTTTTT DAMN dude…… really I mean why did you even marry me or what’s going on… you know… that or he caught an STD … watev it is … it’s more than just the nanny (even though that was a hellavalot)

    so yeah……

  23. Veronica says:

    She might also have turned to faith to get through her divorce, too. My mother definitely entered a more spiritually active stage in her life after her divorce. It helped her through the grieving process of losing her marriage and her children. Gwen can be dramatic, but divorce is a kind of death – the death of your life together, the death of a love you invested years of your life into. I can understand why it’s so emotional for some people.

    Downloaded the album this weekend. Pretty good, actually. I like it better than her last one, though it’s not quite as daring as some of her previous work. “Rare” is on repeat in my car. So catchy!

  24. Pickle says:

    I think she’s sweet but yes a bit ditzy in parts.

  25. Magnoliarose says:

    One of the hardest parts of divorce with children involved is that their lives are devastated and they don’t understand. You have to try to be the bigger person while dealing with your own pain. It’s also a loss of control because with shared custody, your kids go into new environments without you there to protect them.
    I think all things considered he’s fortunate she stuck around as long as she did and will probably unfairly benefit financially.

  26. Dirty Martini says:

    So this annoys me. You aren’t BLESSED by your child’s sexuality. It simply is a fact, one way or the other. As the mother of a gay son, I can assure you that you are blessed with a healthy child. Period.

    And divorce is second to death? No darling, I can tell you this. Have a health crisis with a child this is serious………if rather be divorce any day of the week over than watching and worrying over the healthy well being of my child.

    And yes — I’ve had a divorce or two. And a health crisis with my son. I know which brought me to my knees

  27. Andrea says:

    She comes across so painfully insecure that it hurts me to read this. Will she ever be okay with herself?

  28. iheartgossip says:

    She is really, really in the middle of a mid-life crisis breakdown. Her P/R team needs to take her aside and keep her under wraps for a few months. For so, so long she wasn’t spouting off a few times per day. Something is seriously wrong with her.

  29. Bread and Circuses says:

    Aw, everyone’s being so hard on her looks. She’s gorgeous! She could pass for her twenties still, and given she’s the same age as me, I find that amazing. I don’t care if she’s had “help” to do it; she’s looking great.