It turns out that what stuffy old America really needs, according to X-Play/LFP Video, is a “Brady Bunch” porn spoof. Titled “Not the Bradys XXX” (and thank goodness for those three Xs at the end, or I might have mistaken it and shown it to children) the movie is “definitely expected to be the biggest selling feature title the Larry Flynt empire has seen in over 5 years and early pre-orders have been coming in even though the company has not yet offered the hardcore parody to buyers,” according to Oh No They Didn’t. Lest you fear the movie will focus on sex, please be assured that it will be entirely plot-driven.

Faced with financial difficulties at home due to slow business at his architectural firm, Mike and his wife Carol reluctantly tell the kids that the entire household will be on a budget for the next few months until business picks back up and the cash crisis ends. The kids get together and decide to help out by taking on odd jobs, holding car washes and pitching in wherever they can to help save the family house from bank foreclosure.

Wild fun and mayhem ensue especially when Marcia unwittingly applies for a job as a ‘figure model’ and finds out she’s about to star in a porn movie.”

[From the Porn Valley News]

More importantly, “Not the Bradys XXX” is going to stay true to its roots. “Not the Bradys XXX is directed by Will Ryder and since the movie is a hilarious parody, fans of the TV show will be extra-pleased with the accurate re-creation right down to the backyard grass and the campy music. ‘We all grew up watching the TV show, so it was really important to nail every detail in a completely humorous and sexy way,’ stated Scott David of X-Play who co-produced the movie with Jeff Mullen,” via the Porn Valley News. Now I’m just young enough that I only watched the Brady Bunch in reruns everyday at noon, so maybe my memory is a little shaky, or maybe there were adult elements I didn’t pick up on. But I’m pretty sure they didn’t capture details in a humorous and sexy way on the original show. I remember one episode where Alice took off her apron, but I don’t remember anyone ogling her or making suggestive remarks about it. Must have been because I was 5, you know how innocent you are at that age.

Really, who doesn’t want to see Alice and a grown-up Bobby knocking boots? I’m not going to pretend to know what I’m talking about here, but has porn run out of ideas? I get that they like their humorous spoofs (because God forbid you ever accuse Ron Jeremy of lacking a sense of whimsy) but if nothing else, isn’t this movie like the Transformers film, where you think (and I’m not saying any of you think this, but just go with me here) “Hey, great idea, but isn’t it 30 years too late?” I can’t say how I know this, but I’m pretty sure this issue is going to leak into the next election. It’s topical, like Dan Quail and the “Murphy Brown” thing. But more naked.