Gwyneth Paltrow covers the November issue of Harper’s Bazaar in what is maybe the weirdest editorial I’ve seen in a while. The idea behind it was probably “Gwyneth Paltrow glams up a supermarket” or “Gwyneth is glitzy-tabloid!” But having Gwyneth strut around a stunt-supermarket is just weird – you can see the full editorial here. As for the interview, the highlight of this piece is definitely Gwyneth’s story about how her father called her an “a—hole” one time. Today, we are all Bruce Paltrow!!!

On facing down criticism & mockery: “When I was starting out, I would get printouts of what was being written about me that week. At first it was all good things, and then it started to turn. I very quickly learned, “This isn’t good, this isn’t helping me.” These were strangers, and they were opining on anything in my life, from where I ate dinner to what movie I chose to do to who I was dating, and I was just like, “This isn’t going to be beneficial to my process as a human being in this lifetime.” But it was a very important exercise for me in terms of really understanding that one’s sense of self is internal. I have had an extreme opportunity to learn that lesson, and I think it’s been such a blessed fortune. Occasionally I’ll come across something that’s just annoying, but for the most part it’s irrelevant to me.

Nature versus nurture: “My drive is something that I don’t fully understand. I don’t know if I came to this life with it or if it’s something that came to me in my childhood, but I do feel that some of the things my parents said to me and how they raised me really stuck with me. I remember when I started acting and didn’t get a part and was really jealous of the girl who got it. My mom would say to me, ‘If you don’t get a part, that means it’s not your part. It’s just not yours. You will have your parts.’ It really recalibrated me at a very young age to where I could be driven because I was trying to achieve things for myself, and that had nothing to do with what anybody else was doing.”

Whether she always does her laundry: “Yes, and I cannot go to sleep with dishes in the sink.”

That time her father called her an a—hole: “I remember when I was maybe 27 years old and kind of at the height of my movie stardom—it was around the time of the Oscar and this and that. I think I was very much believing my own hype, which how could you not? I was sitting with my dad, feeling great about my life and everything that was happening, and he was like, “You know, you’re getting a little weird…You’re kind of an a–hole.” And I was like, “What the hell?” I was totally devastated. But it turned out to be basically the best thing that ever happened to me. It’s the difference between someone who loves you more than anything in the world giving you criticism and getting it from some bitter stranger on the Internet. What my dad said to me was the kind of criticism where I was like, “Oh, my God, I’m on the wrong track.” I’m so grateful to him for doing that. He was such a no-nonsense guy in that sense.

She hopes no one will ever call her an a—hole again: “They won’t because you’re past 40, and by 40, all women are amazing…And if you’re an asshole at that point, then guess what? It’s over. If you haven’t taken all of life’s incredible knocks and disappointments and used them to become a fully integrated, self-expressing person by the time you’re 40, then what can I tell you?

[From Harper’s Bazaar]

You know the sign of a true a—hole? When they make a story about their father calling them an a—hole into a story about how they’re so amazing and they learned so much from that devastating experience. Taken with her statement about how she views criticism – “really understanding that one’s sense of self is internal” – I do tend to believe that Gwyneth has always been pretty smug and terrible. I mean, she’s not wrong and I don’t think that people should be beholden to internet commenters. But most of us also learn over the years – whether we’re famous or not – how to cull legitimate criticism versus the standard, stupid venom of everyday life. Gwyneth just ignores ALL criticism and believes that she’s always the most special person.

Photos courtesy of Alexi Lubomirski/Harper’s Bazaar.