Scarlett Johansson: ‘I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person’

amfAR New York 2017 Gala

Scarlett Johansson is this month’s Playboy interview, and I actually enjoyed it. I didn’t read all of it because, hello, it’s crazy long and I don’t care about Scarlett that much. But I read most of it and skimmed the rest. They must have conducted the interview well before Scarlett and Romain announced their split, because she refers to her “husband” a few times. Overall though, it seems more like she’s been living as a single mother for a while, and her daughter Rose just stays with her while Romain does whatever. There’s a lot of information in here, most of which I won’t get into, but here are the biggest reveals and highlights (you can read the full piece here):

On the controversy of The Ghost in the Shell and playing a character that could have gone to a Japanese actress: “Totally. I think the conversation about diversity in Hollywood is an important one and one that we should be having. My character has the unique experience of being a person whose human brain has been put into what was essentially a synthetic robotic body. I guess I always thought the character was a universal one, in the sense that she has no identity, and the heart of this story is her search for an identity. I hope that whatever questions people have about my casting in this film will be answered by actually seeing the movie. It’s hard to say, because you haven’t seen the movie yet, and there’s a part of it that I don’t want to talk about because it’s the turning point of the movie, but I think it answers the question for the audience as to who I am, who I was and what my true identity is, and it has nothing to do with how my character looks or how you see me.

Being able to be vulnerable & humble: “It’s something Barack Obama has—humility. It’s such a lovely quality. There are a lot of things about him that will be missed, but humility is such an important part of being successful at what you do….I actually think it will become very apparent that a leader cannot be successful if they don’t have that—if they’re not able to be vulnerable, curious, compassionate, to have that kind of humility. I don’t think you can lead in any field without having those qualities. That’s what makes a leader, I think: the ability to learn from mistakes and to have compassion for your fellow man.

How she feels post-election: “You know, it’s funny. I had dinner with Woody Allen right after the election, so it was in November. We were both like, “Okay, the election. That’s our topic before we get deep into what the meaning of life is.” And I said, “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who was like, ‘I told you so.’ Please don’t tell me that.” And he was like, “Honestly, I was shocked. I would have thought that he would not have won one state.” And I thought, Okay, well, if Woody felt that way, it makes me feel better about being as ignorant as I was, because I literally—I mean, it was a complete and utter shock.”

Her Election Day experience: “I had a very strange experience voting. I took my kid with me, and I was like, “Kid, we got a female president, which is pretty exciting. And it’s Hillary Clinton; that’s also cool, and we’re good.” Then I got on a plane to Hong Kong, which is a 16-hour flight. I had two glasses of wine and passed out. I woke up 10 hours later, and the stewardess was like, “Excuse me, Miss, would you like to know the election results?” I looked at her and said, “Well, I know it’s—okay, what? Give me the news. Let me have it. What is it? I think I know it’s Clinton.” And she was like, “No, it’s actually Trump.” I thought, This is a Twilight Zone episode. I mean, I’m shuttling through the air at 30,000 feet. The whole cabin is dark, my brother is passed out, and I tap him on the shoulder—he was a field organizer for Obama; he’s very political—and I say, “Hunter, wake up, wake up!” He was like, “What?” I said, “Trump won.” He was like, “Oh, stop it.” God, he got so drunk when we landed in Hong Kong. This morning I was listening to NPR, and I have these moments when it still hits me, the weight of it.

She’s said before that she isn’t sure humans are designed to be monogamous. “Well, with every gain there’s a loss, right? So that’s a loss. You have to choose a path. I think the idea of marriage is very romantic; it’s a beautiful idea, and the practice of it can be a very beautiful thing. I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person. I might be skewered for that, but I think it’s work. It’s a lot of work. And the fact that it is such work for so many people—for everyone—the fact of that proves that it is not a natural thing. It’s something I have a lot of respect for and have participated in, but I think it definitely goes against some instinct to look beyond.”

On marriage in general. “I think marriage initially involves a lot of people who have nothing to do with your relationship, because it’s a legally binding contract, and that has a weight to it. Being married is different than not being married, and anybody who tells you that it’s the same is lying. It changes things. I have friends who were together for 10 years and then decided to get married, and I’ll ask them on their wedding day or right after if it’s different, and it always is. It is. It’s a beautiful responsibility, but it’s a responsibility.

[From Playboy]

What do you think about Scarlett’s anti-monogamy talk? The thing is, I don’t think she’s anti-monogamy, I think she’s just trying to be realistic and self-aware? Like, I appreciate that she’s not trying to sell herself as Little Miss Monogamy or Senora Pure Thoughts. She’s had two marriages go down the tubes, for a variety of reasons, and one of those reasons might be that she fools around. She’s not saying people are incapable of being with only one person – she’s saying it’s a lot of work and some/many people fail at it. As for her political talk… the most controversial thing is that she was having dinner with Woody Allen post-election. Ew.

amfAR New York 2017 Gala

Photos courtesy of WENN.

 

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102 Responses to “Scarlett Johansson: ‘I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person’”

  1. Alix says:

    Said every recently divorced person, ever.

    • Beth says:

      Or a cheater or someone that has been cheated on. Pretends monogamy isn’t easy or natural as an excuse

      • Lyka says:

        Chillllll. Monogamy isn’t easy for some people, for others it is. No one’s playing pretend. She’s just being honest about her own proclivities and instincts.

      • Matomeda says:

        @Lyka it is a bit more than that, though. She said it isn’t natural because it’s hard work. That was an across the board statement, not just speaking for herself. I agree with you that she is actually speaking for herself though, so she should have added that.

        I really am not too concerned. I want to like her for some reason but I don’t, so I’m not upset about what she said :) a lot of stuff is hard work even though it’s natural (raising kids!), and a lot of animals are naturally monogamous. I do think she’s speaking for herself though, like Lyka said, so she shouldn’t attribute her struggle to everyone. There’s no cheating trouble in my world or those of any of the couples we hang with. But obviously it’s out there.

    • kimbers says:

      Said by people who want to have someone, but to lazy to find the “right” one

      • aenflex says:

        Humans weren’t always monogamous. It’s a very recent development, evolutionarily speaking. Survival of species was dependent on men and women having multiple partners. There are several theories as to why humans are typically monogamous now, they aren’t all pretty, and none of them proven. Things like STIs and infantcide, or neurotransmitters (emotions).
        Monogamy is nice, but it doesn’t work for everyone. And folks shouldn’t be shamed for admitting that it doesn’t work for them.

      • Madailein says:

        Too “lazy” to find the right one? Wow, do you REALLY think “laziness” is the reason many people end up in bad marriages, cheated on, or alone? That’s a definite lack of insight, compassion, wisdom and humility on your part! (Or should I just call it “lazy” and ignorant thinking…?)

  2. Tiffany27 says:

    Dinner with Woody Allen? Yep, Scarlett is still canceled.

  3. Sam says:

    She’s said this before though. I want to say it was after her first marriage ended as well. If she truly feels this way then maybe she should ya know stop getting married or getting into relationships that aren’t meant to be open.

    As for having lunch with Woody Allen….honestly Scarjo has been canceled in my book. I just let the trash continue on being trash.

  4. Shambles says:

    Her answer about playing a role that should have gone to a Japanese woman doesn’t come off well, imo. She says, “Totally, we should talk about diversity in Hollywood.” She then goes on a diatribe about how the character was more about finding her identity and not how she looks, and we just haven’t seen the movie so we don’t understand… She doesn’t talk about diversity in Hollywood at all. It comes off as dismissive an arrogant to be honest

  5. Millennial says:

    Lots of people find it very easy and natural to be monogamous. Just because YOU don’t, doesn’t mean it doesn’t come perfectly natural to others.

    This is also such a cheaters line to use to justify their behavior, which makes me wonder what really ended the marriage…

    • Missy says:

      Well said, sista! I remember this same talk from her after the first divorce.

    • Patricia says:

      So true! I have never had the slightest struggle with monogamy. My first long term boyfriend did, and what a heartbreak that was for me.
      My husband does not struggle with it. He’s always been easily monogamous like me.

      I heard on NPR that there was an extensive study done and there seems to be two kinds of people: monogamous and non-monogamous. They found that it is either very easy or very difficult, depending on a person’s brain chemistry. I believe that. It’s very easy for me. I know others for whom it’s a struggle.

    • Lyka says:

      And lots of people DON’T find it easy to be monogamous. Strictly speaking, plenty of horrible things like rape and depression and the madonna/whore complex are evolutionarily “natural.” That doesn’t make them right or good or excusable, but it’s kind of obtuse to superimpose your own experience onto someone’s perfectly reasonable assessment of their own drives, especially when that assessment is backed by decades of human science.

    • detritus says:

      People use all sorts or silly reasons. Why be introspective hwen you can blame biology!
      Dumb ass cheaters seem to want to use evo psych, in the Baker era Sperm Wars logic. Not science. Not tested. Evo psych is the bastard child of genetics and psych and frequently doesn’t provide appropriate proposed mechanisms or testable hypotheses. There is some strong research, but its not the ‘fun’ stuff that idiots latch on to.

      Male and female sexual monogamy preferences have not been scientifically linked the way Baker proposed in Sperm Wars . What has been tested is that body size ratios between male and female, and how that impacts population levels of monogamy or polygamy.

      Humans, like most animals where the body sizes are close to equal, are ‘naturally’ monogamous.

      So even that ridiculous, it’s nature I cheat, argument is false. It’s selfish idiots using their bastardised understanding of biology to support their worst habits.

  6. Clare says:

    Disagree that marriage necessarily changes things. Like everything else in life, it impacts people differently. For some people it changes everything, for some people it changes nothing. these sweeping statements are dumb.

    My husband and I got married quite quickly (well a year and a half after we started dating), and it did not change anything. Truly. When we bought out house (after about 4 years of marriage) it was a massive change in the dynamic of our relationship.

    • Missy says:

      The change came for my SO and I after we had our first kid. He’s the breadwinner and I’m home raising our daughter. I can totally see how that could ruin a relationship but for us it only strengthened us. I found my niche with taking care of our child and learning to cook. Now we are expecting our second child in our new house, our other child is going to school full time this fall….and I’ll be focusing on all that school stuff, a new baby, and our little farm we have growing outside.

      We’ve never been married but we’ve been together for fifteen years, since high school.

      • ash says:

        im sorry…i know this is incredibly intrusive (however you did tell of your living arrangement and dynamic), but why not get married?

      • Beth says:

        @ash, marriage is just a signed piece of paper. I know a couple who have been monogamous for 50 years and never married. They say they’re just as happy and don’t need the signed contract.

      • Missy says:

        @ash…no worries, not intrusive after I offered details. I get that question a lot, from family and friends. We chose not to…it isn’t ruled out but we just don’t feel the need, we aren’t religious in any way. We aren’t the kind of people that like to be the centre of attention or have our pictures taken. We considered going away to do it by ourselves but his mother would be devastated if we did that so we haven’t bothered.

        I live in Canada, after six months of living together we are considered common law marriage. We do our taxes together, we have legal papers signed that have to do with medical emergencies and that sort of thing.

      • ernie says:

        Beth, you may mean well, but saying “marriage is just a signed piece of paper” is a very quick way for people to dismiss your opinion. It’s such a cliched falsehood. I would encourage you not to use it in the future.

    • SilverUnicorn says:

      My husband and I got married after 9 months of dating; we were already living together at the time, we moved in together after 5 months. This is our 5th year of marriage :-)
      Biggest change in our life would have been the kids probably, but we don’t have any (by choice). I think getting pets was the only thing that really changed our life a bit.

      • Kitten says:

        Hi SilverUnicorn-I’m going to help ash turn this into the “intrusive section” lol and ask you a personal question (feel free to answer or not): Did you guys talk about the no-kids thing early on and do you ever think that will change?

        I’ve said this before around here but I’m 38 and my guy is 30. He is firmly no-kids and I am firmly not-sure. I could see myself being really happy with just pets and my guy but I worry that he could easily change his mind in two, three, seven years. This is the healthiest, best relationship I’ve ever been and this is really only (potential) issue that stresses me out, but it’s a biggie.

      • Clare says:

        @Kitten if I may answer and unasked question – my husband and I are in our 30′s (I am 3 years older). We’ve been together since our early 20′s. I have always been firmly and vocally no kids. He used to be ‘could do with or without’. the deal was, no kids, house full of dogs.

        In the last 2 years or so he has changed his mind (and now *really* wants kids). It is a HUGE bone of contention – it is probably the only thing we full on argue about. My view is, he’s allowed to change his mind, but that doesn’t mean I have to change mine, too.

        It is, sadly, not something we are on the same page on. And one of us will have to compromise. Our current agreement is ‘we’ll talk about it in 2 years’, but it literally comes up every few days, in one way or another.

        We have previously discussed the ‘middle ground’ of possibly adopting. I can’t see myself raising children, to be honest. He feels we have so much to give etc, and can’t see himself not having kids.

        My point – it is tough, and some days it is shit. Some days I feel he is being selfish, other days I feel I am. It is a huge issue. But, its not one we cant get past, I think.

      • Kitten says:

        @Clare-Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. Sigh. Your situation (even though it’s reversed) hits close to home and is exactly what I fear. I guess I worry that it’s one of those fundamental issues that can make/break a relationship because there is no right/wrong, really. Theoretically, neither person should have to give up what they want yet isn’t that what we do in relationships, sacrifice for the other person?

        I hope you guys find an amicable solution but man, that must be difficult sometimes.

      • Dee Kay says:

        Jumping into the no-kid conversation: My husband and I have been married for 14 years, dated for 5 years before that, neither of us ever wanted kids, although I felt guilty for a long time about not wanting them (not guilty but — like I’m not normal, because “normal” women want kids — but I know that’s the Voice of Society in my head, when my heart and gut tell me no worries, I’m just one of those women who doesn’t want children!). I will say that if my husband had ever strongly wanted children, I would have had them for him. But I would have resented him and become an angry, bitter wife (and therefore, not a great mother) for, likely, the rest of my life. The sacrifices I would have made: *large* parts of career, my regular quiet time, our world-traveling vacations which I relish and treasure so much, and all of the couple-y time that we spend together, which is another huge highlight of my life — all of that would have been gone or at least become a rarity. For children that I did not want. I know myself, and I know that a part of me would have *hated* that I surrendered so much of what I wanted for something that he wanted.

      • detritus says:

        Chiming in with more unasked for comments:

        On the other side of things, I changed my mind about kids.

        In my relationship (we started when I was 22 and he was 27), we both started as maybes. As I got older that clock started ticking, and I changed to a probably yeah, then to a YES.

        We had a big discussion about it a few years ago, basically ending with me saying – I won’t accept a partner who will just do kids for me. You need to be all in, its not fair to me, him or to the kids otherwise. So we discussed the issues around it, and he moved towards ‘yes’ with me. We unpacked a lot of the bad stuff in his childhood, his reasons for not wanting to give up his free time, why we both saw kids as positives, etc etc ad nauseum.

        We started discussing and planning pregnancy, life post baby, etc. I was starting to get really excited, and nervous. Big life changes coming, how exciting!

        Then this weird midlife crisis hit, a combo of career goals not being met and some other things. Which then started a major freak out about losing his choice and autonomy and becoming a ‘normal’ and how much it would impact us etc. Just about as fun as it sounds.

        So currently in limbo land, where I want a kid and the life we had started planning, and he is freaking out about not being able to live in the grey area for longer, all the while my stupid uterus is becoming more and more ‘geriatric’.

        It seems like a lot of us have issues around baby yes or baby no. Its a hard choice, and its made harder by biology making child bearing easier the younger you are. Basically, it sucks. There’s no right or wrong, and it’s so easy for outsiders to say – oh well you don’t agree so break up. Very frustrating. Good luck, all around.

      • Kitten says:

        No I am asking for ALL the comments, Detritus!
        And thank you, Dee Kay as well. I guess I was *hoping* for some sort of reassurance but everyone seems to have the same level of complication that I envision down the line. Or maybe he and I will never wants kids and love happier ever after but this is the main area where the age difference bothers me (when I’m with him I never think about it) because as you said, Detritus my uterus is getting older. I know many guys who didn’t want kids at 30 who ended up with their first child at 35. By then I’ll be 43 and things get much harder. Plus maybe I’ll change my mind in a two years or whatever and want a kid and he’ll still be firmly no-kid. It’s just really difficult and complicated when both people aren’t 100% on the same page.

        Thanks for sharing your stories with me, friends. Made me feel less alone to know that other people struggle with the kid issue as well.

      • M.A.F. says:

        @ Kitten “Theoretically, neither person should have to give up what they want yet isn’t that what we do in relationships, sacrifice for the other person?”

        There are things that yes, maybe sacrifice in a relationship, to find that common ground, but when it comes to kids, that isn’t a sacrifice. Moving to a different town is one thing but to “sacrifice” by bringing another human being into the world just to make your SO happy? That’s not the same. I like what Dee Kay wrote, about if she were to give in just make her SO happy and how it would make her feel. Far more articulate than I ever would have been.

      • Ange says:

        Ultimately I think all you can do is have the discussion openly and honestly and keep having it as you go on. If he’s firmly no kids now he might stay that way, my husband has so far along with me, so you have to keep checking in with yourself and him to make sure. At least if you’re having the conversation regularly (as boring and difficult as it is) nobody is going to be surprised if things change for one of you. From that you may even see that your roads are going to diverge some day in the future and you can plan accordingly before it gets too bad.

  7. Trixie says:

    Monogamy is a societal construct, so no it is not “natural” in terms of being a biological human trait, but recognizing that doesn’t make one anti-monogamy. One can recognize that the concept of monogamy is a societal-made one and still say “Yep, that’s what I want”.

    • Anitas says:

      Not sure what you mean. It’s very tricky to talk about some original human state. There are plenty of species which are strictly monogamous, including primates.

    • SilverUnicorn says:

      Actually it’s not. It depends on the species. You could argue human beings were not naturally monogamous but that would be a recent thing too. Think that now if you are in good health you can survive until you are 80 or 90. Two millennia ago the majority of people were surviving up till their 40ies, in some cases less than that. Surely easier to be monogamous for 15 years than 60….

    • Lyka says:

      I agree, Trixie.

      And yes, people live longer now so monogamy lasts longer. But the definition of that term has changed throughout human history anyway. It used to mean “one partner for life.” Now it means “one partner at a time.” But cheating has existed throughout time, too, so even when people were only married for 15 years, we still had a culture of defacto polygamy.

      None of this is to say that monogamy is bad or impossible. Just that the ultimate evolutionary purpose of human romance is the same as that of any living being on planet earth – to spread the genome. And if we acknowledge that truth, it’s clear that on balance, the males of our species will have latent instincts to impregnate as many people as possible and the females (again on balance) will have instincts to seek out the most fit males with which to procreate. That’s sort of clinical, but we’re not magical beings, just animals, and some of the species is better at monogamy than others.

    • Pinetree13 says:

      In species where their offspring take a large amount of energetic investment monogamy is more common as both parents are called upon to raise the “chicks”. They’ve also found that monogamy may have developed in humans as a survival tactic against rampant stds. So there’s arguments for both sides.

  8. Anitas says:

    She just needs to add “to me” in that sentence and that would be OK. But then of course nobody would want to be in a relationship with her again. So she projects her issues with relationships and marriage on the whole of humanity. But then she always came across as thinking she was smarter than she really was.

  9. Slowsnow says:

    I understand what she says about monogamy, particularly in her own environment where she is a beauty surrounded by beautiful, stylish people.

    If [insert name of one of your gender preference celeb crush] came to your house and tried to seduce you, would you be able to resist even if married/or in a relationship?

    I am pretty sure more than half – much more – wouldn’t.

    EDIT: but it doesn’t mean that some people can’t and that one shouldn’t go for it. From the looks of it it looks as if she was in an open relationship.

    • QueenB says:

      I doubt anyone famous with any kind of sex drive is faithful. you have got to be super delusional to date an actor or actress and think they will only ever want to be with you. most of them even cast their co stars in love scenes based on who they find attractive and want to make out with. (which isnt really acting then isnt it?)

      its mostly unattractive people who are monogamous anyway. not by choice.

      • Sandy says:

        Eh, considering the vast majority of us in the “Real World” are average and below average in looks and yet plenty of people cheat, I’d say that monogamy isn’t based on how attractive or not you are.

      • Beth says:

        @QueenB I don’t think monogomy has anything to do with looks. I’m a pretty girl who’s always been with good looking guys and have never cheated or been cheated on. But I do know some very unattractive people who have cheated, been cheated on and been married more than once. It depends on the persons choice of how they want to be and feelings. After being in one non monogamous relationship I knew I’m only monogomus

    • SilverUnicorn says:

      I would say no. It wouldn’t make sense to me to cheat on my husband for a fling with a beautiful actor.

      The beauty of the temptation doesn’t really matter anything if you are unhappy in a marriage. Plenty of people cheat with ugly people, not movie stars.

    • Div says:

      I do believe monogamy is probably a lot of work in Hollywood. Actors are on set, often for several months on end and in isolated environments. Not to mention they often do love scenes with attractive people and probably spend time with their co-stars so they feel more comfortable once they are on camera. I suspect a lot of actors are in open relationships they keep on the down lo since people still look down on non-monogamy quite a bit. If they aren’t in open relationships, I also suspect that the actors who have multiple marriages under their belt either cheated or were cheated on.

      I can’t remember who it is but a famous actor said he had a rule that he never spent more than two weeks away without a visit from his wife or him going to visit her. That kind of rule probably keeps a marriage strong in an environment full of temptation.

    • Chingona says:

      I can honestly say 100% that I wouldn’t cheat on my husband with my celebrity crush( Eduardo Verástegui, look him up). Why because our relationship and everything we have been thru is so much more important than any hot guy.

  10. ell says:

    she’s said it before, and honestly i agree with her so much. the idea of marriage and monogamy forever is very romantic, but is it feasible? imo no, given the amount of people i know who cheat, and being the product of a broken marriage myself. i think people can be very committed and monogamous for a long time, it’s the until death do us part bit that isn’t always realistic, imo. if you’re lucky life is long, people change, and relationships do too. you should be open minded and know when to let go.

    other than me agreeing about marriage/monogamy, she’s such a let down. still hanging out with woody? i could give her a pass back in the day when she was very young, but now she has no excuses. also stop taking roles that aren’t meant for white people.

  11. Louise177 says:

    Just because Scarlett said monogamy isn’t natural doesn’t mean she cheated. Maybe she was the one who was cheated on or maybe she just doesn’t think monogamy isn’t natural. It just doesn’t make sense when people put words in other people’s mouth. We don’t know if there’s more to what Scarlett is saying.

  12. Bitsy says:

    She’s sounds like every immature, post grad, pretentiously unpretentious arse I ever debated with in my 20s. Your too old to feign progressive in the same breath as stating you had lunch with a pedophile Scar.

  13. Chelly says:

    I agree with her as far as the anti monogamy thing goes…it is work to actively remain monogamous. I’ve never personally cheated on my bfs & no, I’ve never been married but I have been in several very long term relationships where after some time, I would find myself in a situation where I would very consciously have to tell myself don’t go there. And it was really at those times where I would reevaluate where I am with my bf & what it is I really want that’s so obviously missing. But these are of course only my experiences I speak of

    PS
    Currently single….wonder why? Lol..not really

  14. Adrien says:

    And some people find their true love. It is different for everyone.

  15. Mia4S says:

    She’s changed up the white washing answer a bit. PR coaching to the max. You did it for the money dear. You’re a sell out. Just say it, you’ll feel better. We understand, it was a lot of money.

    Oh and the monogamy comments? Whatever. She’s trying to excuse the fact that she’s failed at two marriages (two brief marriages) and trying to make it seem like her experience is just like everyone else. No its not. Some people are not the marrying sort and that’s fine (if they are aware of that), but some will do very well at it. She’s projecting.

  16. QueenB says:

    But her good friend Wood Allen is monogamous with his stepdaughter. Isnt that proof????

  17. Miss V says:

    I do not get how this woman is the top grossing actor of all time? She is overrated in every way possible. She seems cold in real life and it translates on screen. She does not have any warmth to her at all. Her acting is completely wooden. She is more than problematic with some of the things she’s said and done. And there have always been strong rumors about her being one of this people that hates having women around. Like, she has no female friends. Does she have any redeeming qualities? Because I see none.

    • Mia4S says:

      She’s not “really” the top grossing female actor of all time. She lucked into the Marvel supporting role as Black Widow that any actress (or often a life size cardboard cutout and a stunt woman) could play. They are counting that box office when it has little to nothing to do with her. It’s kind of a meaningless title both male and female in the age of franchises. I mean, Sam Worthington was technically the number one box office draw of 2009! 🙄

  18. Beth says:

    I’ve always found being monogamy easy and better for me. The one nonmonògomus relationship I had ended up being more painful. Knowing he could be with someone else any time wasn’t easy for me. I still have a broken heart 16 months after I ended it. I’m now in a monogamous relationship.

  19. courtney says:

    she needs to shut her mouth marriage between one man and one woman was instituted in the bible first with Adam and Eve in genesis then reinforced with other biblical couples for example the Virgin Mary and Saint Joseph in the new testament why doesn’t she stick to her day job that she’s mediocre at

  20. OhDear says:

    Re: her “monogamy is not natural” comment: IMO usually when people say that it sounds like they’re making excuses for themselves. It’s not as monogamy is the end all and be all, but if you’re not monogamous, be upfront about it.

    Re: her reaction to the election: I’m always surprised by people who were shocked.

    On another note, if even Woody Allen thinks you’re not a good person (re: Trump)…

  21. Katherine says:

    She’s been saying this about monogamy for a long time, before Ryan, too, this is not disappointment, it’s her view of things, has been for a long while. I used to be sharply at odds with it but I saw some research, seems like she’s not wrong. Her being the kinda person who would dine with Allen in 2016 is one of the reasons I no longer admire her (don’t hate her either – just not on my radar anymore)

  22. Div says:

    While I don’t completely agree, I understand what she is trying to say about monogamy. I would have agreed if she said monogamy is a lot of work for a lot of people and not just “monogamy is a lot of work.” Just as there are a lot of men (cough cough dirt bag Ethan Hawke) who say monogamy is impossible, there are a lot of people who go “monogamy is easy for me so it should be easy for everyone.” Personally, I think it’s a lot more complex and monogamy can be very easy for one person and very hard for the next. That said, if monogamy is a struggle she needs to stop settling down and being exclusive and then marrying someone in the span of a year or so. Her last marriage was super quick.

    The Woody Allen comment on the other hand…that is what I have trouble with in this interveiw.

  23. mkyarwood says:

    Monogamy is natural to some, not to others. Just like sexual preference, or skiing.

  24. bogos says:

    That word “natural” just goes against the grain of human existence which is to defy mother nature. Anyhow, I find that some people who are inclined to depression need more thrills to light up their emotions.

  25. Aysla says:

    Scarlett has talked about this for many years, in multiple interviews. I don’t think she cheated at all, I strongly believe she gets bored in relationships.

    Theory: nothing really dramatic has to happen, but Scarlett probably finds it all mundane after awhile. She almost seems to live by the Peggy Lee song, “Is That All There Is?”– as if she gets married with the expectation or hope that it brings “more”, and for her it never does. Scarlett will always get bored.

  26. QQ says:

    I cant with this chick or promoting this movie which i hope it goes Double Toilet roll The Thing I am Here for?? That Hair!! oh Baby Buh! Its Fantastic color length everything

  27. HoustonGrl says:

    Sure, monogamy is challenging. But it’s called integrity, use it or lose it.

  28. crazydaisy says:

    I think monogamy is probably harder for ridiculously good looking people who everybody wants to sleep with. Especially if they are actors, like Scarlett, who sometimes kiss/simulate falling in love for a living. Think about it. Constant temptation, with other gorgeous people coming on to you all the time? Gotta be rough.

    For the rest of us normal-looking people, I think when someone loves us and wants us, we might be better able to appreciate what we have without wanting or needing to stray. Maybe.

  29. McMe says:

    I got all the way to “dinner with Woody Allen.” That’s all I needed to see. Nothing else worth reading.

  30. hogtowngooner says:

    I think there’s some merit to the concept that monogamy may not be “natural” but sheesh, when you marry someone you both should have the same expectations of the relationship. If you want to have an open marriage, then go for it. But both have to agree to that, not use it as an excuse for infidelity when the relationship inevitably implodes on that basis. That’s just cowardly.

  31. Bread and Circuses says:

    To me, monogamy is very natural because sexual jealousy is also very natural.

    Monogamy is a way to have the love and sex without having the angst and jealousy too. You get a different angst in its place, of course, because your attraction to others doesn’t turn off just because you’ve got someone already, but it tends to be a more manageable angst.

    Monogamy wouldn’t exist if it didn’t work for a lot of people. It’s not a social construct; it’s a solution to a biological problem. (Albeit not the only one.)

  32. Ginger Gal says:

    I’m not intentionally monogamous. I’m just lazy.

  33. Natalia says:

    I do like Scarlett, but this is a ridiculous comment, it’s probably something I might have said when I was her age. If I said “I think it’s unnatural to be polygamous” it would sound just as foolish. I am monogamous, but I don’t expect all others to be — just the person I’m with intimately. It’s not at all unnatural to me to be monogamous. I don’t understand the sexual proclivities of a lot of other people (gay, bi, etc.) and I don’t expect them to understand mine. Just respect them.

  34. AnnE says:

    Dinner with Woody Allen….I am out….she has no credibility period!

  35. dorothy says:

    eeww a voluntary dinner with that rapist child marrying POS? shes cancelled,

  36. jerkface says:

    It’s way too much work to find a good hair stylist too I guess.
    Not to be crass but I find it easier to be monogamous if “it” stays hard if you know what I mean. LOL

  37. Redgrl says:

    More bothered that she was having dinner with Woody Allen. Gee, Scarlett, would you let him babysit your daughter? Didn’t think so. Idiot.

  38. Bluer says:

    “I don’t think it’s natural to be a monogamous person.”

    It’s not natural to be travelling, what, 70% of the year and never being in the same city as your spouse. Maybe that’s what makes it hard work. Also, in their industry they have a lot of new people around them all the time – people who need to look amazing and appear interesting to keep their jobs – so a lot of temptations. Added to the fact you’re famous and there are dozens of people in love with you (your image) all the time – double the temptation.

  39. Revesby says:

    Lol @ “that’s what we talk about before we go deep into what the meaning of life is”…

  40. spidey says:

    Didn’t an awful lot of people?

  41. OhDear says:

    Pre-Dylan Farrow NYT letter, though.

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