NY Mag’s Kellyanne Conway long-read attempts to humanize a monster

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It’s not surprising to me that Kellyanne Conway would want to appear on the cover of New York Magazine, or on the cover of any magazine for that matter. What’s surprising is that NY Mag wanted this. We’re not even 100 days into this fascist regime and media outlets have already begun to flat-out ignore or refuse to book Conway. She’s a liar, a master of the art of unhinged double-speak, a fascist mouthpiece who would be more at home working for Vladimir Putin (which, hey, she’s probably doing anyway). I don’t mean to suggest that Conway is a true-believer in Trumpism. She is not. She’s in this for herself. She says outrageous things because she wants to be a star. She feeds on it and that’s her own thing. So why give her the platform, NY Mag? Now, all that being said, this profile is well-written, in that it’s a Portrait of What Fascism Looks Like From the Inside. You can read the full piece here. Some highlights:

Her Secret Service protection name is Blueberry: She got the protection, Conway said, after she was sent a suspicious white substance. And then there were the threats. “Most of them are online,” she remarked, “and most of them are very explicit and graphic, and they’re sometimes people who have a history of following through but for whatever reason weren’t prosecuted.”

Welp: At the airport, she said, “all I wanted to do was get coffee and pee. I definitely can’t get coffee if I don’t pee — trust me, I gave vaginal birth four times.” But who wants to bring a guard into a public restroom? “Oh my God, there’s no privacy! It’s crazy, it really is crazy.” And it can get complicated. “I have two friends, who both — well, one is Ann Coulter. She started dating her security guard probably ten years ago because she couldn’t see anybody else.”

She has Oval Office walk-in privileges: “When I want to talk to him, I go talk to him. Eighty-five percent of what I discuss with him will never be revealed. It’s like any other boss–C-suite-employee relationship. I don’t need to talk to him through the TV. I just go in and talk to him.”

What she said before the Mike Flynn debacle: “Anybody who pretends I’m not smart or not credible, it’s like, ‘Excuse me, I’ve spoken 1.2 million words on TV, okay?’ You wanna focus on two here and two there, it’s on you, you’re a f–king miserable person, P.S., just whoever you are.”

Steve Bannon says there is no Trump-Whisperer: “I do think it was a little overplayed when she was quote-unquote the Trump whisperer. There’s no Trump whisperer. There’s just not. It doesn’t function like that. He doesn’t absorb information like that. Everybody that’s looked at as a Trump whisperer? It’s always meant to demean him.”

She lies so casually: When the White House learned Bannon would appear on the cover of Time, Conway told me, people were “running around the West Wing” frantically trying to figure out what to do. “Like, who’s ever out there for me? Or even Sean? It’s like, you can’t be in every photo and then wonder why you’re an object of media fascination. And then because you’re in every photo, people are like, ‘Oh, those who aren’t in the photo must be — ’ ” She trailed off. “How about if we’re the ones working? How about the five computers on my desk?” (There was only one computer on her desk.) “Everybody draws the wrong conclusions, I think.”

On the Women’s Marches:
“I don’t object to other people marching at all — you know, my friends were there. But I’d rather do than march; I’d rather act than talk.”

She’s anti-choice, but squeamish: She says she would never judge a woman for getting an abortion and does not dispute, in an interview, my suggestion that she wouldn’t want to see Roe v. Wade overturned. She is, she explained, “sympathetic” to any woman who makes the decision to terminate a pregnancy. “Do I know anybody who ever got an abortion? Well, of course I do. I’ve driven them there. I’ve helped pay.” (She later said she couldn’t recall the exact details. She had been a teenager, she said.) “You know, when you’re young, you’re thinking about the person, not the issue. We were younger, and I was focused on her, not on the larger public policy.” What she disagrees with is what she characterizes as the liberal position of wanting abortion to be accessible to “anyone, anytime, anywhere.” She added that “one goal” she has is “to make us culturally — not politically — culturally more sensitive to the value of life.”

[From NY Magazine]

I got a bad headache from the whole piece, partly because she’s such an a–hole and partly because… I wish the piece wasn’t so “Kellyanne Isn’t Your Cartoon Villain.” The piece is well-written and thoughtful and it gives a great perspective into Conway’s life. But it does normalize her and attempts to make her a three-dimensional personality as opposed to the person liberals love to hate or the person Republicans love. And that attempt to give her added dimension is unnecessary – why do we need a long-read, real-journalism equivalent of Jimmy Fallon’s fluffing Donald Trump’s hair? These people don’t deserve to be humanized. They are monsters. They are literally destroying America.

Cover courtesy of NY Mag, additional photo by Getty.

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70 Responses to “NY Mag’s Kellyanne Conway long-read attempts to humanize a monster”

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  1. IMO says:

    Sorry to say but she’s really ugly and just like Trump she looks like she’s aged 15 years since he’s president.

  2. Jules says:

    She has gotten the face she deserves………………

  3. Catherine says:

    The Bannon stuff, his comments throughout the article, were equally fascinating and terrifying. I had to lie down after reading: was physically ill.

    • Megan says:

      I am really pissed at NY mag for running this piece. These people do not deserve their say. Legit media outlets should not be providing a forum for their lies.

      As for secret service protection, I drive by Reince Pribus’ house on a regular basis and I am pretty sure he isn’t paying for the two guys in the unmarked car with his own money.

      • Megan says:

        And a memory was kicking around in my brain … in the 1990′s, NY Mag suggested Conway slept her way to the top, “The romances of the new breed of GOP women, however, can be seen as strategic alliances, increasing their name recognition and broadening their base of support. Kellyanne Fitzpatrick has been romantically linked to Senator Fred Thompson. April Lassiter even crossed party lines to go on a date with George Stephanopoulos. And the frontman of her band, Joe, is Joe Scarborough, a congressman from Florida.”

    • LoveShoes says:

      You know what they say, you lie down with dogs you should expect to get fleas…
      I find her to be revolting in a sense that when she speaks, it is utter BS with no integrity or substance behind her thoughts or statements. In regards to her personally, Amy one who counts Ann Coulter as a friend should not be truste. As for SS protection, i find it ludicrous that she needs protection.

  4. Torontoe says:

    ” how about the five computers on my desk? (there was one computer on her desk )”. Lol. In all seriousness I wish people would not comment on her appearance, which to some will make her an object of sympathy and she can blame her bad press on sexism. Instead let’s focus on her actions…truly ugly.

    • Fiorella says:

      Another reason, and even with trump I wish we’d not go on about how he’s not attractive , this is not helpful in any way. Paul Ryan is awful too but less ugly, so what? This culture of ripping people apart for their appearances will only prevent people from having the courage to serve the public (in public) and agreed that it takes space and time away from the real problems. How she looks is by no means a problem.

      • Nancy says:

        It’s the darkness of her soul that makes her so physically unattractive. If she had positive energy and wanted to change the world for the good, her physical appearance would not be noticed. No one ever said oh my that Mother Teresa is so ugly. It’s all on the inside that radiates the beauty on the outside. I want to thank Conway for sharing her four vaginal births and need to urinate. TMI Kellyanne, tmi.

      • Megan says:

        Trump is incredibly critical of others appearance, which is what makes him a target for criticism about his appearance.

      • MissMarierose says:

        I agree with you to a certain extent. The culture of ripping people for their appearance doesn’t get us anywhere but, as I see it, the real problem is not that it will discourage people from serving but that it encourages people to make excuses for the pretty people. E.g. Ivanka Trump So many people excuse her conduct and believe, based on nothing, that she really is embarrassed by her father. Same with Melania. People want to believe that she’s trapped in the marriage and doesn’t support him. Based on what? Nothing.
        The culture of judging people based on their looks means giving a pass to the pretty people who don’t deserve it.

      • Beth says:

        Trump has made many comments about women he finds unattractive. He ripped women apart about their weight and how they’re so ugly,nobody would want them. Trump is unattractive looking and his personality makes him ugly. Kellyann is the same way. If Trump can insult women about their looks, the world can do the same to him

      • Nancy says:

        I agree Beth. He tore Rosie apart, and did the same with Hillary. The Billy Bush tape revealed how he perceived woman, like meat. He has an inappropriate view on his own father/daughter relationship since in his eyes, his daughter, Jesus, is a ten. He is bigly unattractive (he sure loves to make up words) and ridiculed Cruz’s wife by showing her in a split screen with his trophy. Sorry for those who it offends to say Kellyanne is unattractive, but she is. Every time I picture her, all I see now, is her legs wide open, dress up to there, kneeling on the couch in the White House. She is a pig, as is her boss, and as I post this, his allegations of President Obama wire tapping him are being called out. Ha!! I miss Prez Obama.

      • Otaku Fairy says:

        “This culture of ripping people apart for their appearances will only prevent people from having the courage to serve the public (in public).”
        I WISH Trump had the right kind of vanity or insecurity that prevented him from having the ‘courage’ to ‘serve the public’. But he probably either thinks he’s a 10 or thinks it doesn’t matter because he’s a male, not a member of the sex he sees as objects.

  5. justcrimmles says:

    1.2 million words on tv, and not a one are sensible or credible. Where Palin has word salad, this one’s a word salad shooter.

  6. RussianBlueCat says:

    Her husband George was hired to a Department of Justice position. He would be lead of an office that would handle legal challenges against Trump administration initiatives ie: travel ban

    • bleu_moon says:

      Conflict of interest? What conflict of interest? Nothing to see here, folks! Meanwhile the Trump voters cheer. They really could care less about corruption, Russian influence or the law. They just want their guy to stay in office with unfettered power because that means they “won.”

  7. MunichGirl says:

    Kellywitchanne is a moron.

  8. Patricia says:

    My eyes popped right out of my head when she started talking about the value of life… working for an administration that wants to cut healthcare, children’s health insurance, arts programs, meals on wheels, and every other life-affirming and supporting program we have managed to scrape out in this capitalist cult society.

    Talking about the value of life when you’re a person who demonizes immigrants looking for a better future, literally making up massacres to fuel the racist fervor against desperate people needing help.

    I see right through her and I don’t understand how anyone can support her or look to her as a normal, rational person.

  9. kNY says:

    She talked trash about trump while she was working for Ted Cruz – and the trash she talked was coherent and true. That’s what she thinks of him. She’s just someone else who is banking on the fact that he’s an idiot so she can make some money.

  10. lower-case deb says:

    why are they wasting column inches to do this? did they get paid? why the need to give her a sympathy vote while she’s proverbially helping set Rome on fire?

    what is the point? if this is an attempt at reverse psychology, it’s honestly the wrong way to go about it.

    • Adrien says:

      They gave Uncle Terry a platform too. I’m all for hearing all sides but you shouldn’t be sympathetic to your subject.

    • Dizzie says:

      I unfollowed them after this. Used to be an avid listener to Noreen Malone, Julia Turner, Hanna, Double X, and the other podcasters. But this is nonsense. And Melania a feminist? Mocking the Women’s March for their hats? I don’t live around the White Coastal Elites but this is who they are. Those who bite the hand of their their own national audiences- the audience who feeds them, to appear above it all. Is their philosophy of embracing all women of achievement/normalizing something they discuss over an artisanal snack in Brooklyn? They are as out of touch as the Trumpsters they normalize.

  11. Beth says:

    When I read or watch interviews with this lady, I’m amazed. How can she do these interviews without ever answering a single question? So frustrating to see her and Trump expertly change the subject and ramble on about nothing to do with the question asked.

  12. Esmom says:

    Does this (I haven’t read the full piece) really normalize her? Because everything I’ve read here isn’t favorable or flattering. Nor is the cover photo.

  13. Greata says:

    What else is there to say? Her very words damm her. Americans really must fight for impeachment.

  14. Mich says:

    One of the best Keith Olbermann GQ episodes during the election was Kellyanne’s history of demonizing the Clintons. Hillary talked about a “vast right wing conspiracy” but, according to Olbermann, it was really about 12 people including Kellyanne, her husband and Laura Ingraham.

    Kellyanne has been a rotten person for decades.

  15. nemera34 says:

    When SNL did this it was SPOT ON…and they called it before many got what this chick is all about.


  16. Fiorella says:

    Sure she’s not pretty and mould fitting like say Jennifer Lawrence. Should all people who don’t have the right proportions of noses and teeth abstain from public service? By the way Michelle Obama doesn’t have nice teeth either but she really knows her angles. Women need to know their angles to be praised even when they are quasi politicians. This is sexism, I feel. god forbid a 50 year old didn’t protect her skin and now it shows. I am a little surprised they chose An unflattering cover for a woman- progress?

    • Dttimes2 says:

      They probably chose that picture because it was the best of the ones taken. When you’re so corrupted on the inside it shines through to the outside.

      • Fiorella says:

        I don’t think so I think there are a lot of gorgeous women who are potentially bad in the way that she is. I mean I don’t know them but statistically it seems likely. I don’t know what their covers usually look like but I think if she was on Cosmo they definitely could’ve made her look nice

    • SusanneToo says:

      It’s the inner ugliness of kellyanne oozing out that most people see. She could look like Keira Knightley and she’d still be ugly because of what she does and stands for.

      • Fiorella says:

        Yeah that’s fine but I feel we only say “ugly on the inside ” for some women. Like Megyn kelly and tomi whatever are hated here (and I agree about tomi) but because they’re pretty no one says they are ugly on the inside as a sneaky below the belt insult. I don’t go to right wing websites but I know they have the same problem, by chance I came across a ridiculous YouTube video claiming Michelle was a transgender woman. Im sure centrists and leftists aren’t as bad but still I find it problematic

      • SusanneToo says:

        I am more than happy to say Megyn Kelly and Tomi Lahren are ugly on the inside.

      • Kitten says:

        “Like Megyn kelly and tomi whatever are hated here (and I agree about tomi) but because they’re pretty no one says they are ugly on the inside as a sneaky below the belt insult.”

        Eh? I myself have called both of those women ugly on the inside, mainly because they are so consistently praised for being white, blonde and conventionally attractive. That, and the fact that they really ARE ugly on the inside.

        So while I agree that calling Conway “ugly” every time there’s a post about her isn’t helpful or warranted, I also recognize that she’s quite literally a *cover girl* at this point. She is someone who is very highly featured in television interviews and other forms of media and as such, people will talk about her appearance. Likewise, we will discuss Trump’s appearance. It shouldn’t be the main focus for sure but neither of them have a behind-the-scenes job so to me this comes with the territory.

      • Fiorella says:

        Kitten comes with the territory hits it on the nose. I think we’d have a bigger pool of politicians to choose from if it didn’t come with the territory for them and their spouses and i think the growth in pool would be even bigger for women because we are more criticized and more sensitive about our looks statistically

    • littlemissnaughty says:

      No, they shouldn’t abstain because of their nose. But she should abstain because of her character or lack thereof. Her insane lying and invention of terrorist attacks. Her looks are the least of it but my god, they’re right there in your face and sometimes the outside does fit the inside.

    • Otaku Fairy says:

      To me it’s not sexism because Donald Trump’s and Steve Bannon’s looks get added in as things to criticize them too.
      Also, I think there’s a difference between the conservatives’ “Liberal women/feminist women are ugly, so that’s why they have progressive political beliefs” comments and the racist tropes they use to put down Michelle Obama’s appearance vs. liberals adding a “and by the way, in addition to being sh**ty people, Trump, Bannon, and Conway are FAR from 10′s” commentary. We’re not dismissing them politically because of their looks or attacking physical appearance based on the fact that someone’s a woman or their race, we’re feeling free to mention that they’re unattractive BECAUSE of their politics and the kinds of people they are, and we’re not just applying it to one of the sexes. Their bad looks are being treated as an afterthought (In an “Oh, and by the way, you’re also fug” sort of way), not as the reason for their politics or as a reason why they shouldn’t run for office.

  17. SusanneToo says:

    Her friend ann coulter. Why am I not surprised? Birds of a feather fvck over people together.

  18. Psyren says:

    Wow that close up. Her face is…you ever play that horror game The Evil Within? You know that giant water monster with the braces? Yeah.

  19. Deedee says:

    Never will I ever buy a New York magazine after this crap.

  20. QQ says:

    F*CK Kellyanne Connjob and these In depth profiles ANY and EVERY day that ends in Y, IDGAF about “the Fuller Picture” of a regressive “Not Particularly bright”(per her teacher-shade) talented at arguing and finessing in Shrill lady with basically the sole redeeming quality of “self deprecation” while f*ck!ng us all over All these told me is that she comes by her hate honestly, deeply, and that when they Impeach her F*ckboy she DEFINITELY KNEW WHAT SHE WAS SIGNING UP FOR AND WANTED TO… Come for her looks too IDGAF i’m not caping for her or toning it down, she weaponizes that shit too and hides behind “feminine mommy” whenever ya’ll come for her Lying ass

  21. Anna nuttall says:

    She remind me of Professor Umbridge form Harry Potter.

  22. bleu_moon says:

    I suspect large portions of this woman’s day are spent googling herself.

  23. Tessa says:

    I’m a doctor so used to icky stuff. But the thought of her giving birth makes me boak.

  24. Pumpkin Pie says:

    OK, I must come clean, I am a f****** miserable person.

  25. Indiana Joanna says:

    I never understand what she’s talking about. I keep listening or reading asking myself “What is your point, Kellyanne?” This article is the same old lying, thrilled to be at the center of attention KAC insanity.

    It’s too exhausting trying to figure out a liar.

  26. PunkyMomma says:

    Why give this b*tch any press at all? MSNBC won’t even put her on the air anymore due to her penchant for “alternative facts”. I say ghost her completely.

  27. Tough Cookie says:

    “It’s like any other boss–C-suite-employee relationship. I don’t need to talk to him through the TV.”

    Wait….what? Who talks to their boss through the TV?

    Me personally, I talk to mine through the microwave.

  28. Teebee says:

    She is in the running for Narcissist of the Year with Trump. Her ego defies logic. I understand that people driven by a healthy amount of ego and conceit seek life in the public eye, but this administration brings this to another level. Everyone wants to be on TV. Everyone wants to be interviewed. And that leaves little time and room for work. Like research, informing oneself, understanding the issues, instead of just watching selected channels or surfing the web. One needs to be driven slightly by the desire to help people, to be in the service of others. Or at least, nostalgically, that is what it once meant to be a public servant. Now it’s that the public serves the person. We are as f**ked as we can be.

  29. Veronica says:

    What’s remarkable to me about this woman is that she’s a lawyer, so yes, she definitely isn’t stupid…BUT SHE JUST CAN’T HELP HERSELF when it comes to the fame whoring and self-involvement. In a profile that’s supposed to make you want to take her seriously, she mentions having to pee immediately because her pelvic wall has been wrecked by vaginal birth. She talks about her BFF Anne Coulter f*cking her security guard for lack of options. Complains about people criticizing her on salient dialogue points because she’s has spoken WORD ALL OF THE WORDS rather than acknowledging there inherently conflicted world of political opinions. All of this mixed in between paragraphs where she manages to sound marginally rational, undermining any effort to not be so obviously LOOK AT ME ME ME ME ME. It’s just baffling to me how anybody can lack any measure of self-awareness.

  30. K2 says:

    The Real Fuhrer: He Loves Dogs and Children, Too!

  31. Kitten says:

    Sooooo hard to click yet somehow you managed! Well done, friend.

  32. Bootsie says:

    I read the first paragraph, got as far as the reveal that the only book on the bookshelf in her office is Trump’s Art of the Deal and needed to go and be sick for a bit. I don’t care what she says about breezing into the Oval Office any time that she wants – she is speaking to him through the media attention she gets, it’s clearly very important to him. I imagine it’s how he rates them in his mind – comparatively next to his own “magnificent press presence”. Ugh.
    It’s visceral, how much I hate these people.

  33. Lisa says:

    I don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t think she makes any sense. What is she even saying?

  34. pinetree13 says:

    “Do I know anybody who ever got an abortion? Well, of course I do. I’ve driven them there. I’ve helped pay.” (She later said she couldn’t recall the exact details. She had been a teenager, she said.) “You know, when you’re young, you’re thinking about the person, not the issue. We were younger, and I was focused on her, not on the larger public policy.”

    Yeah I mean it’s almost like, MAYBE that’s the problem when you’re thinking of your ‘larger public policy’. Maybe you’re forgetting the actual individual people affected and their stories. Seriously, it was like she was so close to some meaningful introspection and then ‘flit’ nothing.

  35. Deeanna says:

    This is not a particularly flattering article. I believe it is an honest portrayal and by its very honesty it reveals the rather unpleasant truth about Kellyanne. Which is that the only thing she really cares about is Kellyanne.

    The author aptly captures her subject:

    “The simplest explanation for that is Conway’s eerie similarity to the president: her opportunism, jumping from Ted Cruz to Trump mid-campaign; her mercenary sense of loyalty, somehow both total and totally for hire; her ease at projecting, in even the most staged encounters, a blue-collar authenticity; her fighter’s instinct, which dictates that she never give an inch or even try to persuade; and, above all, her very loose relationship to the truth and her very evident love of the game. Other Trump surrogates, like Reince Priebus or Sarah Huckabee Sanders, get weaselly under pressure, as did their predecessors in previous administrations. But in intense interviews with Jake Tapper or Chuck Todd, you can usually see Conway winking and smiling, in much the same way her boss seems amused by the theater of a press conference even as he’s staging one. Other presidents would have been ashamed to have their representatives spin such bullshit, to have them so dismissively refuse to engage with interlocutors about contrary facts or commonsensical presumptions. But Trump doesn’t appear to feel shame, not in his communications strategy nor in any other part of his life. And Conway has become his most convincing doppelgänger by not feeling shame either.”

    After reading this article, It will be very interesting to see if Melania ever actually moves into the White House!