It’s every day now. Every single morning, I wake up and try to figure out what the political story of the day will be. And every day is a fresh hell of deplorable storylines. Should we even discuss how Emperor Baby Fists has “installed” political hacks in key cabinet positions just so they can be Baby Fists’ “eyes and ears” within those agencies? Should we talk about how Trump’s SCOTUS choice, Neil Gorsuch, hates women to the point where he thinks we’re all conniving, lazy bitches just looking for all that sweet maternity leave cash? Should we talk about FBI Director Comey’s upcoming testimony today before the House Intelligence committee? Or should we talk about Baby Fists’ latest Twitter hissy fit about leaks and how he has no connection to Vladimir Putin? Ugh.
Instead, let’s talk about an easier – but no less aggravating and depressing – story involving Emperor Baby Fists aka Easy D aka Agent Orange. Easy D sat down with Watters’ World for an interview last Friday and the quotes are just as stupid as you would expect. Baby Fists sounded off about everything from his tax returns to Alec Baldwin.
The Watters’ World interview, which took place just before Trump’s Nashville, Tenn., rally, kicked off with Trump voicing his thoughts on MSNBC host Rachel Maddow’s decision to reveal two pages of his 2005 tax returns live on air Tuesday. Viewers learned that Trump made more than $150 million in income and paid $38 million in income taxes that year.
“They’re bad people,” he said of the network. “There’s something wrong with them. It’s illegal to do what they did. It’s criminally offensive.” Trump emphasized that all of his tax returns “are good,” but “they just don’t respect the law, and we have to change that.”
The president told Watters that the Mexican border wall will be built “very soon,” adding that he’ll be “very much involved” in the process. The Fox News anchor then shifted gears and took Trump through a short speed quiz, asking him to describe a number of acquaintances in just one word. Trump had a few choice words to say about Hillary Clinton (“disappointed”) and Elizabeth Warren (“I think she’d lose so badly”) before discussing his recent feud with Snoop Dogg.
“I think it was terrible,” he said of the rapper’s music video depicting a mock assassination of the president. “Not because of me, but it’s terrible to do that to any president — any person. I think it was pretty low-life. His career is falling, and he’s getting a lot of publicity from it.”
When Vladimir Putin’s name came up during the quiz, Trump denied having relations: “Don’t know him, but certainly he’s a tough cookie. I don’t know how he’s doing for Russia, but I guess we’ll find out one day.”
Asked by Watters whom he would choose to fire among his most famous enemies — Baldwin, Sen. Chuck Schumer or CNN’s Jeff Zucker — Trump replied, “I think the Alec Baldwin situation is not good. Chuck, I’m very disappointed in him because he’s a guy who should make deals for the people. Instead, he’s just an obstructionist. So, I’m disappointed in him. And Jeff Zucker, I mean, I got him the job. And CNN is just, you know, fake news. Who would I say? I just, I don’t want to say, but I will say I’m disappointed in all three. I think the portrayal of me is ridiculous.
“It’s criminally offensive” - you absolute dumbass. And it’s like people don’t give a sh-t that Trump lies constantly about having met Putin. As for the Alec Baldwin thing…I get the feeling that Baldwin’s impression upsets him the most. People can call Easy D a Nazi, a fascist, a liar, an unhinged moron, but there’s something particular about Alec Baldwin’s utterly accurate portrayal that drives him up the wall.
Photos courtesy of Getty.