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Here’s a no-brainer report from In Touch about Ben Affleck being spotted out drinking on Emmy’s night. Affleck was at the Emmys with his girlfriend Lindsay Shookus, who won her second Emmy for her work as a producer on Saturday Night Live. It’s been evident in his face and figure for some time that he’s been drinking again. He doesn’t look awful or anything, I don’t mean to body shame him, but he makes tens of millions of dollars to play a superhero and let’s face it he’s not in superhero shape. A lot of us just assumed he was drinking again following his rehab stay this spring and In Touch confirms that yes, Affleck has been drinking and there are witnesses.
Ben Affleck, who has done two stints in rehab for alcohol, was seen having a mixed drink at the HBO Emmy after-party, In Touch magazine is reporting.
“He ordered water at the bar but a server brought him over the alcoholic drink once he sat down at the table,” an eyewitness tells In Touch exclusively. “He drank all of it.”
His new girlfriend, producer Lindsay Shookus, sipped on champagne after winning an Emmy for Saturday Night Live.
Ben was caught drinking post-rehab earlier this year, too.
A source close to Ben tells In Touch, “Ben continues to focus on a balanced lifestyle.”
That’s what Ben’s rep always tells the press off the record, that Ben is focused on “a balanced lifestyle,” not that he’s not drinking again after he went to rehab. Alcoholism is insidious, it’s a hard disease/habit/obsession (however you think of it, I’m not coming down on either side) to break for so many people, and this just goes to show that even the richest and most privileged people can suffer from it. He looks absolutely miserable so often. Truly I would rather be sober, it’s such a gift, and middle-of-the-road money-wise than as rich as that and still drinking heavily. (I wish I could drink like a normal person, I cannot.) Also, many of you have claimed Lindsay is an enabler. Whether that’s true or not she definitely likes to drink and party with him.
Meanwhile Ben was seen out yesterday with his estranged wife, Jennifer Garner. People has the photos and they report that the two were going to a school event for their kids. At least Ben still shows up for his kids, that’s definitely something. There have been comments claiming that Ben missed Samuel’s first week at school, however I can’t confirm that and X17 has photos of him with Jen for their daughters’ first day.
photos credit: Getty, WENN, Backgrid
It’s the shock heard ’round the world.
Oh that’s good!!
That’s always the way it goes. The alcoholic leaves the “nagging” spouse who always complains about the drinking and finds a new partner or friends who are more “fun” and like to drink too. It’s so much “better” with the new partner or friends – until it isn’t and it devolves into a bloody, boozy mess.
I find Affleck very annoying and I feel he’s burned through so many chances but I wouldn’t wish this personal and health debacle on my worst enemy.
Quelle surprise.
Haha, came here a dire la meme chose.
What a coincidence. Moi aussi!
He find his match, the last picture tell you everything.
That’s my take too. From personal experience…oh boy, that’ll go well.
I love, love, LOVE this comment!
@Fa and @lunchcoma, what do you mean? I don’t get it!! @GingerCrunch, LOL!
She looks like she’s had as many as he has.
She looks rough. I am not shaming her looks. I looked so much worse when I drank. Now that I don’t drink anymore, and I only drank wine, but too much, I look so much better. My skin is not blotchy, my eyes are not red, I just look better. Even my hair is better.
Drinking, even a little, takes its toll on your body. I have a friend who can handle her alcohol, but drinks every night, and she looks worse every year. And she is beautiful.
It is a sad disease, and if Ben wants to defeat it, he needs to be with people who support his sobriety, and support his maybe NOT going to the Emmy’s with her. Cause it may be a place he will want to drink.
They look like their pic should be in Urban Dictionary next to “downward spiral”.
But seriously, this doesn’t strike me as a healthy relationship. He’s dating an enabler. She thinks she’s dating her dream man but he’s past his expiration date. They’re both settling for less than what they want or need. Good luck with that.
So true. They may be a bad influence on each other–I don’t know whether she is a problem drinker or not–but she is definitely an enabler of him.
Awwww… it’s always great when you can f**k your drinking buddy! Ugh.
Amen!
They are perfect drinking buddies.
That picture kills me every time 😂😂😂. They look so bad.
When aren’t these two drinking?
I would guess never. Too bad. Think they may have kind of worked in some way but guess that hope is gone for them. Leaving Las Vegas on the first flight out alright.
Ah well. People can learn to modify their drinking but I think it’s too soon for Ben considering he was in rehab only a short while ago.
Alcoholics can’t. No judgement just a fact.
Absolutely spot on
I disagree. I know people who used to identify as alcoholics who are able to drink moderately and by moderately I mean they only drink occasionally and they don’t get smashed. Sometimes people who are going through a rough trott end up in places like AA where they’re told they have the disease of addiction and will end up a full blown alcoholic if they ever drink again. But that’s not true for everybody.
Interesting article and comments regarding various treatment options besides traditional 12-step programs:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/04/the-irrationality-of-alcoholics-anonymous/386255/
No, some people can not. Not judgement, not shaming, plain fact.
I hate AA. I hated it when I went and I hate their absolutes. Their success rate is abysmal. Having said that, it does help some people and save their lives.
I don’t drink anymore, after drinking wine for almost every night while I was doing dog rescue. I stopped drinking and changed my dog rescue focus so it wasn’t so gut wrenching. Can I drink again?? Maybe. AA would say NO. I don’t think I was an alcoholic. I had no physical symptoms when I stopped. I wasn’t physically addicted. But I did abuse alcohol, and why would I want to do that again?
BTW, I am a substance abuse counselor now, and the new term is substance use disorder. We don’t call it alcoholism and label people alcoholics anymore.
This was my exact line of thinking when I was in denial about my addictions, too.
I’m not sure if you are saying I am in denial, but I am not. I had an issue and I made the decision to stop drinking. Period. I haven’t drank in many years.
If you were passively saying I am in denial, this is why many people hate AA. The kind of judgement people make, people who themselves are still not in great shape mentally, runs many people out the door.
People suffering from substance use disorders don’t need judgement and snide comments. They need support, someone to tell them they CAN quit and they often need medications, which some hardline non-doctor AAers sneer at also. Which can get people killed.
I hope I misunderstood your comment, because it was really out of line.
I hated AA as well. The whole “this is the only way” part was such a turn off for me. It helped in the first year but honestly I didn’t need it like some people do and I’m still sober almost 4 years later. Good for you and I’m a huge dog lover (And wine previously) too ☺
@ Scout. Yes, that’s what I would call it.
@still_sarah, really? You are judging another person’s sobriety??? I am glad I have a good grip on my sobriety, and have a great therapist, because snide, judging comments like your’s and @scouts could really cause damage to someone without my knowledge about substance abuse, learning and self-knowledge. What you are doing is being a bully. What gives you any right to do that? Cause you don’t like some of my comments? And as I said, I am a substance abuse counselor so your judgmental mean girl nonsense doesn’t hold any weight with me. But you may want to talk to someone about that.
As I said, this judgmental nonsense is what turns people off of AA. People think that because AA worked for them, it is the only way. It is cult thinking. I recommend it to clients because it is accessible, but i liked womenforsobriety,org much more than AA.
And @ang, hugs to you! Congrats on your sobriety!!!
Larry David looks uncomfortable in the top pic. Very uncomfortable. Of course, he usually does, but still…
His expression is a bit like the one Ryan Reynolds had in that photo from Taylor Swifts 4th of july party.
Had to go look it up… heh.
I was on my way to say the same thing. Classic LD!
Shocker. We knew this already. He’s been spotted at liquor stores and with mixed drinks for months now. No wonder it looks like WB might try and cut him out of the Batman trilogy. What a mess.
Also so nice of his mistress/gf to be so “cool” to endorse his drinking.
My guess is that ALREADY happened and they’re just waiting the opening of JL to announce it. He’s out of The Batman. They’ve been getting rid of him in phases, probably as he regularly and consistently failed to show up sober to such a difficult gig and with millions, if not BILLIONS at the stake and weighting over his drunken shoulders. First he’s been fired as director, then as a writer. Then probably one of Reeves conditions to take up the franchise was no Affleck. It was very telling very word he said at Comic Con: “I’ll be Batman if they still call me”….
Yeah. I don’t why people think he was still in or even had a chance. It was kind of clear months ago. Just nothing is being said until after JL is out.
I agree that they are waiting until after JL to announce anything. I think Ben’s ego will be bruised because he’s basically being let go, but in the end I don’t think he’ll miss being part of those terrible movies.
I don’t doubt you guys. I thought after his mess this summer that he was out. I was convinced SDCC was a way for him to try and save his job. The movies may be terrible but he was some of the better portions of them (pre-Gal in WW) and he wanted the role. This will definitely sting.
But he should’ve stuck with his sobriety. I’m guessing jen was the only thing keeping him on the wagon
i wouldn’t be surprised if she’s got a drinking problem of her own. he’s probably enabling her as much as she is him!
1) Lies!!!! Jk, I am actually find the way he lives his life to be depressing.
2) This woman has a LOT of flight jackets.
Flight jackets…to go with those of her drinking co-pilot, Ben. (Sorry, how insensitive of me!)
These are actually called “bomber jackets”…you know, for getting bombed on booze. (No, don’t get up, I’ll see myself out.)
@Elle 😂😂😂😂😂
At least he has found someone to support his destructive lifestyle since no one else will.Now Jennifer can move on and stop suffering the matyr she did not cause this man to be this way it is who he is.
As someone who has family members who battled alchoholism, I feel for him. He looks just like the people I know during the time they were in the throes of his terrible disease.
Hope he can finally achieve sobriety, which can take years and is also incredibly difficult.
As someone whose father is slowly succumbing to liver cirrhosis, I feel for his children. And Jen Garner. I don’t particularly like her but this has to be rough. You can see it in his face, it’s so apparent, the bloat. And if he continues, his liver will suffer, there is no way around it. This isn’t like cigarettes. There’s no chance he’ll escape the effects of heavy drinking.
I know I should also feel for him but – bad as it sounds – I don’t have the energy. And the new gf knew what she was getting into, no sympathy. I guess he sold it to her as “partying” and everyone else is overreacting. Maybe in the circles they run in he can hide it while he couldn’t during his time with Jen. The family always knows and sometimes nobody else wants to.
Two generations at least of alcoholics in the Affleck family. I sincerely hope that Garner’s sticking around did not involve some serious denial. She needs to be ready for some very difficult conversations with her kids about their risks. Speaking from experience the cycle can be broken (thankfully my siblings and I have no addiction issues) but it takes harsh realities and self-awareness. All the cupcakes and organic baby food in the world doesn’t change that they are at very high risk.
Actually, three generations of mental and psychological problems: Ben’s paternal grandmother committed suicide. Then as you mentioned, his father’s drinking. Casey’s drinking. I agree, I hope that Jen has established firm boundaries and isn’t going to waver. I hope that she is able to find a new partner and that person is a stable and loving influence for the kids. They need a reliable father figure and it’s not going to be Ben. It’s hard to tell with kids that we only know through photos but Violet seems self-assured and strong. It’s quiet Sera who always looks unhappy (like Ben) that concerns me.
Yes, this. There is susceptibility and she will need to study how to, in a way, inoculate them. It would be best if he were to achieve sobriety for real and be part of those ongoing conversations as they get older. I always think that for people with susceptibility for addiction, Hollywood is the last place they want to work. The temptation, the enablers and the money are always there.
Also I wonder – am not expert at all in this area – how much of addiction is considered to be self-medication for mood disorders? Treat the mood disorder (better: prevent to whatever extent possible) first or concurrent with addiction, yes?
There’s a lot of comorbidity with other mental health problems, and they can feed into each other. Addicts self-medicate, and having a mood disorder or other issue can make it hard to function well enough to seek help for the addiction. I have a little team of healthcare providers at this point in my recovery, and treating my anxiety has been really high on the priority list.
Man, you’ve really got to know the person you decide to have kids with. Here is Jen Garner, seemingly trying to move on with her life and re-establish her career, and Ben isn’t even capable of true co-parenting. He’s not trustworthy or reliable. Her kids are in serious danger of repeating the cycle and they need her to be a stable and present parent, but she has interests too and needs to have her own life, which has no doubt been on hold for who knows how often because of Ben’s screw ups. What a mess. Not for all the money and $45m mansions in the world…
3 generation of alcoholics. Casey said the grandmother was an alcoholic too.
people get so caught up in love they don’t even bother to consider their genetic legacies before having kids. my family history is like ben’s (both grandfathers alcoholics, one grandma killed herself, my mom is bipolar and my dad is an addict) and i’m a depressive (recovering!) alcoholic. my brother is too, but he’s still drinking. i struggled with being angry my parents even HAD kids, and i don’t plan on having them myself because i think it’s cruel to pass on these genes tbh.
jen got pregnant too soon. you’re right iris, you REALLY have to know who you are having kids with! i wonder how much jen knew about his family.
If you haven’t been around alcoholics in a close relationship, you really have no idea what that is going to look like. Once you live it, it becomes clear.
Casey’s kids have alcoholics on both sides of the family. All need early talk & supervision.
Who Are These People, I am a substance abuse counselor, and up to 80% of people who abuse drugs or alcohol have a mood disorder: depression, anxiety, ADD or bipolar disorder. Treat those early, and you have less substance abuse.
Either the stuff that he bought at the liquor store genuinely wasn’t for him (so he doesn’t care if he’s seen with it) OR he’s a total lost cause addict and doesn’t care who sees him doing these things. One of those statements is true here. How old was his father when he shipped himself to a rehab and stayed there? At this point I wonder if rehab will even really help him. He’s been so many times by now and the message is the same at all of them. At some point you have to stop going through the motions at rehab and do the hard work yourself.
I know he was still a severe, hard-drinking alcoholic when Ben was 12, when his parents divorced. His dad became homeless for a couple of years, and Ben said his dad got sober when Ben was in his 20s. I don’t know if he ever relapsed. I don’t think so. But Ben did say his dad is sober and they developed a better relationship.
Casey said last year his dad went away to rehab and got sober when he was 14, so Ben would’ve been 17. I don’t think he’s ever relapsed.
He looks awful in that last picture, like someone punched him in the face.
Affleck always looks like he’s as much fun as a toothache.
I have probably posted this before, but between the beard and the pudging, he looks more and more like Commander Ryker of the Starship Enterprise.
LMAO no, Riker was so much better looking.
Alas, Ryker did get pudgy and maybe the beard was an attempt to hide it. But ah, those dazzling baby blue eyes!
The only thing even mildly surprising is that he didn’t bother to try to hide it. I’m recently sober myself, and it doesn’t seem like Ben was ever really committed to not drinking. I don’t think people need some sort of extreme bottom, but getting sober can be incredibly difficult and requires a lot of motivation. I’m not sure Ben’s ever had that. Hopefully he will at some point in the future. Same goes for Shook, who I suspect is pretty similar to Ben.
Interesting points. In my experience, I didn’t have any sort of extreme bottom but one day it was like a lightbulb went on with major intensity. It was Halloween and so many of the parents in my neighborhood were out with little kids and wagons and traveling cocktail lounges, getting tipsy and sloppy. I just decided that I didn’t need to try to keep up with that lifestyle anymore, it was just too exhausting to drink on a weeknight and be tired and out of sorts the next day. It actually wasn’t hard at all to quit, strangely. Maybe one day he’ll have a moment like that.
@Esmom, my experience is very similar to yours– after years of alcohol being what I thought was a necessary evil in my life, I woke up depressed and reeling after a crazy, drunken New Year’s Eve, realized “I never have to wake up hungover again” and basically made the change that day.
But I think what Ben is struggling with is a more intense than my story — he seems like a full-blown alcoholic, and that’s a different struggle.
The way I see my path with alcohol is that I had a moment of clarity, and consciously excused from a social ritual that I realized didn’t add value to my life.
Ben, on the other hand, has already more or less humiliated himself on a national scale, risked his career numerous times, and damaged his relationship with his family. It’s mindblowing and tragic to see someone put alcohol ahead of everything else, and it’s an incomprehensible state of mind to those of us who can just maybe the logic-based decision to quit alcohol, but sadly it’s pretty apparent that Ben has that gene or wiring or illness– however you want to put it.
@Wowza You are correct. Ben is an addict, his brain will not let him stop drinking alcohol. I immediately stopped drinking at age 22 when I was suffering from a hang over at work from drinking too much the night before. I don’t have the alcohol gene so it was easy to just stop. It’s not easy when you have an addiction.
The most recent research shows there is no such thing as an “addictive personality” or the “alcohol gene.”
What there exists is an often hereditary component to suffer from depression, anxiety, ADD, ADHD and bipolar disorder. Those lead to self-medicating, which leads to substance abuse.
So the chicken, the mood disorder, comes before the egg, the abuse. And that is where all of the new focus and drugs to treat substance use disorders is focusing on.
Yeah. He seemed to have gone on a bad bender around the Christmas holidays when his movie flopped hard, his The Batman script fell apart. That minder the beginning of the year was sad because he was obviously in bad shape, and maybe this was a way to appease family without committing to rehab. But he ended up in rehab to dry out. He wasn’t in there long enough for much else. I don’t think he tries to actively hide he’s drinking again, but in his mind, he probably thinks he’s got a handle back on it and not in the bad state he once was.
But some of those photos when first out with Lindsay looked otherwise, flushed face, eyes glazed or odd-looking.
He is trimming down. The tux was maybe too tight, so didn’t show it. Plus his wife still looked big (fillers) or puffy at the Emmys. But the photos of Ben and Jen leaving some school event yesterday showed him in a pull-over sweater, and his body is getting much leaner.
http://www.x17online.com/gallery/view/ben-affleck-and-jennifer-garner-come-together-for-their-kids#pic2
The DM tried to spin that as relaxed and happy and those were not words that I’d personally use to describe them in those photos. She barely looks at him.
Perhaps he is wearing a corset in those pictures lol. His body and face do look slimmer.
Didn’t school starting come before the Emmys? So he would have been slimmer at school and then bulked up by the time the Emmys were filmed? School started Sept. 5 where I am.
These two are on a collision course. All they do is drink and party and it is not going to end well.
They look feral.
I wish I could like this comment. That is the best way to describe how they look. They need a good hose down and a nap. Maybe a bowl of veggies.
This is the comment of the day! I could not have come up with a better word than feral!!
No way!!!! This is brand new information! 😉😂
Of course he’s drinking again, his new girlfriend lets him be his true self, an alcoholic playboy who wants no responsibilities. She’ll eventually get tired of it and want more of a commitment, then he’ll cheat on her too.
No way, she’s the super special one that he would never do that to. 😉
Yep, her and Eniko Hart! Oh wait…
So Jennifer Garner should have expected him to cheat on her with most of LA and their own staff because he had cheated on Goop and J Lo (with strippers, while they were engaged)? But I guess she thought she was super special and he would be faithful, huh? Jesus.
He didn’t commit to the others through marriage and have a family with them, so yes, it was different for JG.
All that infidelity and addiction and lying and duplicity for years. Not much of a commitment if you ask me. Their marriage certificate wasn’t worth the paper it was printed on. And she’s now raising their kids alone and mired in scandal after scandal. So no, I don’t think she was ever special or different, just the one who got suckered in. It’s too bad, bc she seems like a nice person and I bet she didn’t envision her life working out this way.
I meant it was different for her as far as her expectations of him being a good & faithful husband and partner, not that he actually treated her better. Sorry, I didn’t articulate that very well. And I agree that she seems like a nice person and didn’t deserve that.
Well, duh.
I feel bad for their kids.
He was seen leaving liquor stores with large brown paper bags a lot lately.
The comments that I’ve seen that are trying to blame Shookus for his drinking (or at least lump her in as part of the problem) are disappointing. If Ben were still with Jen Garner now, it would not be her fault that he continues to drink, just like it wasn’t her fault that he gambled, took drugs and drank when they were together. We do not know that Shookus is “enabling” him, just as we don’t know if Jen was “enabling” him for a decade, and if she drinks around him, he has made a choice to spend time with a person who does that. He is a grown man and his choices are his own. The buck stops with him. No one can fix him (I think Garner finally figured that out) or even really hold his hand through it all — he has to fix himself and want to get and stay sober. Period. It is no one’s fault that he’s off the wagon but his own.
A+ post. People for some reason want to make excuses for Ben Affleck and he’s basically adapted to it. Like blaming Lopez for his career and image being in the toilet. Putting any blame on someone that he’s dating is just another excuse. As you said, if he were with Jen Garner right now, it would not be her fault. I get that people don’t like his gf but it is not her fault if he’s boozing it up.
I suppose I’d lump her in as part of the problem, though I thought it was odd that people assumed she was an enabler rather than a fellow alcoholic. From what I can tell, she’s a lot like Ben, which makes me think he’s at that stage of addiction where the only people who are interested in putting up with him on a regular basis are those in the same boat he is. That’s entirely on him, just as Lindsay’s decisions are on her.
I think people just want to hate Shookus so much (making fun of her birthmark, looks, clothes, etc *every* opportunity that they get, including this post that really has not much to do with her). If she’s an enabler then they get to pretend like Ben’s drinking is her fault. If she’s an alcoholic with her own problems, then she’s in the same boat and needs help, too.
I think people hate BEN so much that they automatically hate and berate any woman that dates him. Guilty by association, etc.
That’s because some think of Garner as a “good woman” and Shookus as a “bad woman.” Sad to say.
Sigh. Yes, minx. Hollywood tends to go for such simple answers. In reality, Jennifer Garner isn’t perfect, Lindsay Shookus has good points, and Ben Affleck is an adult who’s making his own choices – even if they’re poor ones. I’m hoping for happiness and health for everyone involved, especially the kids.
Whaaaat??
But people overwhelmingly hate Garner around here..????
Never seen anyone paint her as a “good woman”, mostly she’s painted as an evil-turned-pathetic woman who traded up for Ben because her career was faltering. Over the years she’s been mercilessly mocked for not dumping Ben, for getting papped with her kids, for her clothing choices, and on and on.
I guess that in my comment, I didn’t mean here. I was thinking of overall public perception.
Oh ok yes that I can see. She does have the soccer moms squarely in her corner.
Why would she walk into a liquor store with a recovering alcoholic? Does anyone know of any alcohol recovery program that allows moderate drinking? As far as I’ve seen they all say no drinking period. When my husband’s on a diet I don’t ask him to go to the ice cream store with me and watch me eat a sundae.
Because she’s probably an alcoholic/addict and in need of rehab as well. You sound like you want to blame her for his drinking and that is wrong IMO.
She’s probably an alcoholic too, and they were there to get drinks for the two of them to share. Ben is responsible for his own recovery, including the people who he spends time with.
There are programs that work to help people moderate drinking, but they’re generally not a good fit for people like Ben who’ve been to inpatient rehab and who have shown signs of other addictive behavior (in his case, gambling).
Exactly. She’s likely an alcoholic as well.
Deirdre, I’m not blaming her for his drinking problem but she doesn’t need to help make it easier for him drink either. I think there is a difference. Why is wrong for calling someone out for being an enabler?
Enabling is more than just drinking with that person. It is making excuses for their behavior. Stepping in and doing things for them that they should be doing but don’t. Threatening to leave them but not doing so. Giving them one chance after another. Lying to cover up for them. Google it, there are literally checklists online. That sounds a lot like Jen Garner’s behavior over the years. Her PR manipulations were covering up his messes and she gets credit for “helping” him. No. It was enabling not helping. Maybe Jen didn’t drink with him to strengthen their bond but she did go to Vegas a lot with him when we all know that he has gambling issues, including when he eventually got banned. So what I’m saying is, calling someone an enabler is a slippery slope and considering that these people are strangers it is only speculation as to what goes on behind closed doors.
can’t help but think that this guy started on a downhill slide after he and JLo split. it was like he latched on to the next available Jen and just imploded…not even kids could salvage him. sad. so sad
He was a degenerate before jlo. goop did say he prefers the company of scores strippers. Ben has issues and it has nothing to do with any of his past or current relationships.
Not true. Some of the early years with Jen G were the most productive and focused Ben has ever been. He was writing, directing movies, looked very healthy and handsome. Actually, it was the best Ben had ever looked. Stability and a renewed focus on what he wanted to do with his career, writing, directing, was good for him. Even when the drinking from Argo on was back or at least now evident, he wasn’t a drunken mess, and never looked sloshed or messy. And Ben looked great in Gone Girl. He was fit, clear-eyed, handsome. He didn’t look like a guy who was guzzling alcohol the night before a shoot. Whatever demons Ben had, it seemed like he had them under better control during those years and was healthier, at least during the actual filming or directing.
He started falling apart during the filming of Batman sometime. But this sloppiness, weight gain, and really bloated red face appeared a couple of years ago, and just shows a big decline in Ben. He half the time looks like he picked the same T-shirt off the floor after he rolls out of bed and throws on his leather jacket and forgets to comb his hair or shower.
He admitted to drinking heavily during Gone Girl, though, in some kind of attempt to be Method. And it seemed like his gambling was never fully under control either. He’s older now and it’s possible that he was drinking during a lot of those earlier years but was able to handle it better physically. I mean, I could drink a lot during my college years and still look great. Not so much now. Anyway I guess my point is his demons were always there and who knows, maybe none of this behavior is new but we’re seeing all of it now bc Jen isn’t protecting him anymore.
@laurie I remember being pretty shocked when he admitted to drinking for Gone Girl. I thought he was an admitted alcoholic but had been sober. Guess not. Then I assumed that “drinking for the role” was just an excuse and figured there were a bunch of ugly addiction issues behind the scenes that we weren’t seeing. I hate to be right.
This is what he said about drinking during Gone Girl:
“Like, in the book, for example, it said that he was puffy and hungover. And I dedicated myself to that, and I think it’s quite convincing.”
Unless there are other quotes, I’m fairly certain he was joking. He looked good during Gone Girl. I agree with Jayna, the backsliding started when he was filming Batman.
@KB, yeah, Ben was on such an upward roll. I was rooting for Ben from his acting role in Hollywoodland on. I remember reading this interview in The Hollywood Reporter around Argo time and was impressed with Ben and how he was accomplishing so many things he said he wanted.
To see him look like a mess the last two years and then really see the seams come apart when Live By Night failed and The Batman project began unraveling for him was sad. You could physically see the disintegration regarding Ben. Divorce and infidelity isn’t surprising, although back in the day I was rooting for them as a couple. But half of Hollywood has separated by ten years. But the downward spiral addictionswise and his contribution to endless tabloid photos is disappointing. I mean, even I had to admit that photo of Ben and Lindsay coming out of Matt’s house that night was set up. No other photos were taken. Matt’s house is never papped. And all the insider knowledge praising Lindsay at Matt’s party for the fight was so gagworthy. I don’t get what the hell Ben is up to. He’s thinking through an alcohol haze.
But here is The Hollywood Reporter interview below. It’s a wide-ranging interview, and if you like Ben, it’s interesting. If someone doesn’t like Ben, I’m sure things will be picked apart. I hope he gets back to that Ben again. He will never be a catch as a husband, but if he gets clean and sober, it will make him a better father in the long run and do better work in the industry again. Plus, on a shallow note. I miss handsome Ben. I don’t recognize the Ben we’ve been seeing for months.
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/ben-affleck-thr-cover-argo-oscar-377611
I remember very very clear seeing him at the Gone Girl premiere in NYC and thinking: this guy is boozing and doing blow like crazy.
@Jayna I agree that he unraveled around Live By Night. I like him a lot and it’s hard to see him self-destruct like this. As Lainey always says, he likes to hit rock bottom and then build his way back up, so I’m not counting him out yet. I think he’ll continue on this path for a while and eventually drop the girlfriend and reinvent himself yet again. At least that’s what I’m hoping.
@Mannori Gone Girl came out October 2014 and Batman Vs Superman started shooting May 2014, so that makes sense. I think the pressure of playing Batman probably added to his stress level and he ended up falling off the wagon. There were stories about him gambling in Detroit too.
Dude’s an alcoholic and an addict. He might tell himself that his past troubles were all due to being with the wrong woman, but he got hit with the wrong blend of genetics and environment and then made the choice to keep drinking despite there being some consequences.
He was probably drinking when he was with JLo as well – heaven knows she has terrible taste in men – and before that when he was much younger. It’s a progressive disease, young people can sometimes hide the effects of alcohol better, and he may just have had more handlers back then who stopped him on his way to the liquor store and told him they’d grab whatever he wanted for him.
ITA. It’s been a thing with him for like 15 years. Failures are due to being with the wrong woman, successes are attributed to being with the right one, etc. It’s never true accountability even when he succeeds. That’s important. I think that’s why he continues to struggle with addiction. I will never believe that he was sober during the Garner years. He was younger and his liver was probably functioning better. I think this has always been a huge problem but Garner covered up for him a lot. Now middle-age has set in and he doesn’t have the smoke and mirrors anymore and we’re seeing it all.
And nobody is Shookus…
For alcoholics and addicts, there’s no such thing as “balance.” That’s why they have a problem. Other people can do balance. Addicts cannot. Once they start drinking, it’s hard to stop at one, two, three drinks like anyone else. It’s 10 drinks, 15 drinks, 20 drinks, all night benders, regularly. It’s all or nothing. His reps shouldn’t try to sell this relapse as “balance.” It’s insulting to our intelligence and nobody in rehab will tell you you can still have an occasional drink because they KNOW you cannot control yourself to have just one drink. You wouldn’t have a problem if you could control yourself. It’s obvious Ben fell off the wagon. Look at his puffy face. Alcohol bloats your stomach and face first. And heck, I’ll say it, he doesn’t look good. Alcoholism makes you look bad and unhealthy, and his girlfriend IS an enabler, but she probably has her own problems too. I’ve noticed that whenever an alcoholic parties with their partner, they partner is probably an addict too.
Ben doesn’t want to be ok. He keeps making bad choices and he has reached a point where he doesn’t give a shit what you think. Look at me and the woman I had an affair with for years. Look at me having drinks in public and going to liquor stores.
great comment. I used to think rehab programs were too unrealistic by banning alcohol altogether. Specially in these times and in countries where excessive alcohol consumption is socially accepted, encouraged and tolerated. And particularly in certain circles and industries where is nearly impossible not being around partying and people who drinks heavily like Hollywood. But is true and I’ve never thought about the balance situation is impossible when there’s addiction. I used to think it was delusional and even unrealistic to expect from a Hollywood recovered alcoholic to not ever touch a drink again. But I know little about how a successful rehab program works , even if in my family there has been cases.
And, in other news, the sky is blue.
I have no respect for cheaters, but I like that the shook is a successful career woman. I wish she wouldn’t waste it on ben.
I saw the liquor store photos online and was surprised. Very brazen for someone like him. Maybe there is an innocent explanation? He is so concerned with PR… I’m trying to figure out what it all means. Maybe he’s going to do another stint in rehab and was drinking *one last time* before doing so? (Hope not) Or maybe the alcohol was for someone else? I’m surprised the paps didn’t photograph him at the checkout counter near the door to show us exactly what he was buying. The question now is, I wonder if he will disappear for awhile (to yet another rehab facility)? It’s a pity. I agree with Jayna above — he’s been dropping weight and looked really good at his kid’s event yesterday. It’s just the redness and fullness in his in his face, which could be caused by certain medications tbh…
What I don’t understand is Ben has a personal assistant(s) that I am sure runs errands for him. Why didn’t he have them go to the liquor store?
Unless he doesn’t want them to know he is drinking again!
He always gets busted!
Why aren’t we talking about Larry David’s new girlfriend in that picture? I love Larry, but…
(sorry if I missed people mentioning it on the last post).
So true. I also wish I could drink like a normal person, I cannot either. Almost 4 years sober and my life has never been better. I imagine it would be harder if I were rich and famous but you have to want to stop. He clearly does not want to stop drinking. My health has suffered from 16 years of heavy drinking and his very well might too. I assume he’s been at it longer than that.
Congrats Ang, great to hear.
That’s great! My husband has been sober 34 years, I’m proud of him every day.
I’m at 7 years. . And I never miss it one bit. Alcohol is horrible for us, even in pretty small doses. Of all the drugs out there, alcohol does the most damage to the human body.
Congratulations, Sarah! It really is. And it’s so encouraged in our society and accepted. It’s appalling really.
Lindsay looks like Greta Van Susteren. That is all I got.
In that one picture where they look smashed, I can’t help but think of their resemblance to Bevis and Buthead.
She looks like Bevis in that pic.
Cancel the rest of today! I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what do they remind me of and you nailed it. I am no more good!
Interesting that some have tried to label Shookus as Ben’s enabler. How do you know that it isn’t the other way around? For all we know, she was sober and a present mother before Ben called and they started dating. We know the power that his forever promises have on the women in his life. They’re doing the same stuff: drinking, forgoing time with their kids to be with each other. I think it’s a strong possibility she’s an alcoholic, too.
Someone on twitter spotted him at an airport in Minnesota yesterday. There is a fairly famous rehab center in that state but obviously he could be there for any other reason or it could be a fake sighting. I guess if we don’t see or hear from him for awhile, he’s probably in rehab again. I guess it would make sense since he obviously saw the photogs taking his pic emerging from the liquor store the night prior. In that case, him going to rehab would strike me as more of a PR move than anything. SAD. I hope there’s an innocent explanation for all of it: his face is red and puffy from medication, the booze isn’t his, etc. I don’t hate him like some of you do. Lainey probably did cartwheels of glee when she saw the liquor store photos and is writing her next dissertation about Jen Garner’s career drive right now. I hope that he’s able to stay sober.
Maybe Hazelden Betty Ford? That would indicate to me he is taking rehab seriously. (We can only hope.)
I dunno. If he only goes to rehab because the paps caught him red-handed leaving a liquor store, then he isn’t going for the right reasons. YMMV.
Ben being papped at the liquor store when he could’ve sent someone or ordered home delivery was maybe a cry for help (even commenters on the DM are compassionate enough to see this). And one last night of boozing alone before rehab…
As for Lindsay, radar online posted something from an SNL “insider” that Ben needed to shut up and “take a back seat” to her at the Emmys, which gossip cop refuted. But if she wanted Batman there as her plus-one, then who would get this angry after the fact as to say such things?
Maybe Ben acted annoyed and bored there after awhile (and a few drinks), and Lindsay didn’t like how his PR made it all about him the next day. I bet they had a fight and sorta broke up this on-off thing for the last time this week.
Now his reps are at a loss for comment to these almost irrefutable liquor store photos (unless in denial, who else would an alcoholic be buying for, we know what we see). And this is perhaps why he showed up to his kids’ school – before going away again to get serious help.
That seems like a lot of conjecture and speculation from a fairly ridiculous ROL article IMO.
Oh hey Lindsay
What a childish response. I’m not Lindsay, but thanks. Go back to your soaps and forget about reality — it’s not for you.
“which gossip cop refuted.” Why do you believe anything gossip cop says?
Who says I believe anything gossip cop says? My point is that it was a strange post even for ROL, but that PR refuted it right away…where there’s smoke, there’s fire.
As for you, L, if you’re not Lindsay, then maybe don’t take it so personally. Once again, you are aware of your own hypocrisy (see comment below) – and that you are on a gossip site?
How did I take anything personally? I didn’t. Whenever anyone bothers to defend Ben or say something positive about his gf, they get accused of being those people and it’s not only stupid it’s also really lazy. I don’t know what to tell you except get better comeback material.
“What a childish response. I’m not Lindsay, but thanks. Go back to your soaps and forget about reality — it’s not for you.”
That’s taking it personally. All my original comment said was maybe Ben and Lindsay argued, he boozed one last time, visited his kids the next day, then went to rehab to save his own life. Ultimately, how is that a bad thing…
“He uses them. He knows that he got caught leaving the liquor store so he made that there would be some co-parenting photos the next day…”
So where do you “defend Ben or say something positive”? Hmm, I’m not seeing that anywhere here…
He was photographed in Los Angeles with Jennifer Garner yesterday.
I looked and found the tweet- the one that says he was spotted at “MSP” (the airport). It was time stamped 3:26PM (my time, EDT). Minnesota is an hour behind and LA is three hours behind. IDK what time those pics at the school were taken but it seems like it may have been a false sighting. Shrug.
That’s too bad. 🙁
I’m just…not surprised
She’s only 37 years old? Really?!
A love straight outta Charles Bukowski.
I knew I should have stayed out of this post. Typical Saint Jen she-kept-him-sober posts followed by Evil Lindsay she-bottlefeeds-him-liquor posts. Give me a break. Jen wasted so many of her good, young years trying to help him be a better person. Is he? No. Is he fixed? No. Did she ever fix him? Obviously not. He had more than a decade of “good” influence from Jen and it amounted to nothing. His problems are his own. His choices are his own. If he’s off the wagon, it isn’t because he’s not with the “right” woman now. He could be dating a bartender and still maintain sobriety if he wanted to. An alcoholic has to want to be sober and stay that way. It is no one else’s fault or responsibility to help them or try to fix their problems. Enough already with the blaming of others.
This. ^^^. I second it. No one can “keep you sober” except yourself. The Saint Jen narrative is bullshit but she is a favorite of the minivan majority. He obviously couldn’t stay sober during their marriage either. The man has obvious serious drug and alcohol problems and until he hits rock bottom and makes his own choice to be clean, he never will be.
True. Ultimately he is the one who has to make and want the change. But he isnt also going to want to change if people keep letting him get away with it too.
Is it me or does it seem that when Ben has some kind of bad PR , he goes back running to Jen and his children or he will mention her & his children in an interview?
He makes his life so hard bouncing from Lindsay to Jen & his children. That has to exhausting! I don’t know how he is enjoying life….no wonder he always looks so tired!
But he has only himself to blame!
He uses them. He knows that he got caught leaving the liquor store so he made sure that there would be some co-parenting photos the next day. He can’t be bothered to attend Sam’s first day of school but he’ll show up for something random. And of course the tabloids bailed him out and posted breathless “they’ve reunited for their kids!1!” articles. Jen doesn’t even look at him in those school pics. It’s very cold between them. I don’t know why she even involves him at this point, though I suppose she can’t keep him away.
“That seems like a lot of conjecture and speculation from a fairly ridiculous ROL (or DM, etc.) article IMO.”
Yet here you are on CB, a gossip site, on a thread about an ITW article, doing the same, L.
Interestingly, only DM and People (and X17 since they took the pics at the school) carried the story with photos. It seems the other entertainment sites are staying away from it. I’d be very interested to know what is going on behind the scenes in making those decisions.
LTS, that is interesting. As CB followers know, celebs like Ben & Jen, along with their PR reps and the studios, have relationships w/the usual entertainment media USWeekly, People, ET and E!
USWeekly seemed like Jen’s go-to outlet, at least until they were bought out and she schooled them on that cover story. Meanwhile, People and E! still seem to side w/Ben, maybe for access to WB interviews and promo for JL, so we shall see…
When I quit drinking, my husband never took his beer out of the fridge. Why should he? I decided I didn’t drink anymore. Period.
It is that simple. Not always easy, but very simple. And until Ben decides that he isn’t going to drink anymore, end of story, he will drink. No one can decide for him. He can’t do it for anyone else. He has to quit for himself or he will go sneaking back the first chance he gets.
He has to decide he wants to live.
He looks bloated and like he can barely keep his eyes open. Not the face of a sober man.
I would say she’s drinking along with him. They both look so messy.
Until people stop enabling Ben’s drinking (and Im not just looking at Lindsay here) then he will keep doing it. Once he studios start dropping him or not hiring him, once his girlfriend either stops putting up with it or dumps him, once Jen stops making excuses for him, and also possibly temporarily doesnt allow him to be around the kids until he cleans up his act. He just wont. Why stop drinking when he can clearly “have it all”.
@Marianne
+10000
Well said!
WB may be the biggest enabler in all of this.
He is no longer with WB. You should try to blame his PR machine and agents.
Well, if one believes that his problems are not just alcohol or gambling, but also drugs (painkillers?), then perhaps WB has covered this up for liability to protect the franchise for years now.
But, yeah, I was also thinking of his PR people and managers (as long as they’re getting paid…), all enablers, though some think they’re doing the right thing and taking care of the addict – rather than their own interests.
There are so many many examples of celebrities being insulated from the help they needed in order to keep the gravy train moving and who died as a result. Michael Jackson is the first name that’s comes to mind.
Until Ben decides that he won’t drink again, he is going to drink. Now the studio dropping him, or a woman leaving him may be the catalyst to say, “I’m done,” but one’s addictions are all on that person. No one else makes them drink and no one else can make them stop.
This is a super petty comment, but I can’t help it. Every time I see a photo of her I am honesty startled by how unattractive she is. I have a feeling some of it is that she always looks totally trashed, but wow…..
You know, I think Lindsay looks attractive in some photos, not so much in others – for various *possible* reasons (ahem). But, hey, I’m not going to criticize her looks because how could I then look myself in the mirror…
Besides, it misses the big picture: I think everyone focuses on looks because of the overall appearance of their relationship (not good). Personally, I don’t see any love or romance here, no matter how they spin it – just addiction, a lot of messiness, and sadness.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she had addiction issues as well. The relationship will probably last until one of them decides to get sober.
Everyone sees and says the same: Days of Wine and Roses. (Such a sad, sad movie).
If he’s convinced to dry out at rehab again and comes out with a positive spin on it to restore image/PR, chances are he’ll lay the blame at Lindsay’s feet for his relapse. It’s very convenient since most commenting is blaming her for enabling him anyway. Handy, that. He’s treated her as disposable for years, it appears, so ….
I can’t fathom how someone can be with, and claim to care for, someone who’s needed rehab for substance abuse, and drink around them; much less with them.
I don’t think Ben is going to live another decade. Sad to say it, but he is at the Leaving Las Vegas stage, and I think he is killing himself. The fact that he is barely trying to hide it anymore is a sign he has given up.
If he goes to rehab, it needs to be a year-long program. He doesn’t need to be in Hollywood, and he can write anywhere, but he needs long-term rehab. He may love Lindsay, but nothing is as important as sobriety and mental health.
That’s sad. I know someone who was in just as bad shape as Ben is, alcoholism that went from social alcoholic, kind of maintaining, and his divorce pushing him over the edge. His pot-smoking got so bad he was seen smoking downtown before going into his law office. His drinking was out of control. It was very sad. His family and ex convinced him to go into rehab.
It’s not feasible for a person to go to rehab for a year. I don’t even think that’s healthy to be away from real life that long. My friend was told it had to be three months, which was hard to leave a law practice that long. I never thought he would stay sober, but he did. It’s been years. He is diligent about his sobriety.
Keith Urban went for three months. His addictions were horrible. He’s done great, but without Nicole I don’t know if he would have stayed sober. Yeah, you have to do it for yourself, but for many that support of someone you love also makes a difference.
I was thinking a month at least before JL, but 3 would be ideal, perhaps afterwards when it seems his career slate is mostly clear? Maybe that’s the *plan*, though I hope he doesn’t wait much longer.
It’s very sad to see him like this, and I shudder to think of what could happen to him. That’s nice to hear about your friend, Jayna – and Keith Urban, too, he looks happy.
I don’t think I’ve even heard of someone being in inpatient substance abuse treatment for a year. I agree that I don’t think that would be healthy. At some point, people have to start living life, choosing what situations to seek out and which to avoid, resisting urges, and using their other coping mechanisms.
The halfway house model is a bit different, and that can involve stays of six or twelve months. However, I don’t think that would be a realistic option for Ben – not because he’s too good for that model of treatment, but because it would be incredibly unfair to everyone else receiving treatment with him to be exposed to paparazzi.
Outpatient treatment is obviously ideal, but unless he gets arrested for something, there’s no way to force him to go (and really, forcing people doesn’t seem to do much good).
I should have been clearer. Inpatient 3 to 4 months and then a therapeutic sober living situation and slowly reintroduced back to life. He needs a long period of wellness and to strip all the layers away to learn who he is and why he sabotages himself as he does.
An acquaintance had a terrible heroin addiction that had led her to live on the street for periods of time, and she kept sinking and then a brief period of being clean and then relapse. Rehab was fine, and she would be excited and determined, but within weeks her life would unravel again.
She had that s bleak look lie Ben has.
She did four months of inpatient and then to a sober living situation in a peaceful nature setting where she healed and got well. It took a long time for her to be comfortable in her skin and figure out she was without drugs
That was nearly ten years ago, and she is still clean.
I thought perhaps for him something similar might be beneficial for someone as severely addicted as he is.
^^THIS^^ magnoliarose, yes! Whether rehab itself is one month or three, he needs (and deserves) a yearlong commitment to mental and physical wellness.
It’s unconfirmed, of course, but that “preventative” stay at Promises years ago and those weeks in Utah last February were not his only two times at the rodeo: On other sites, some have said that Nova Scotia, where he was supposedly spotted with another mistress, is actually the location of a short-term Canadian treatment to get off opioids.
If this is NOT true, I’ll feel badly for even posting it, but How on Earth, literally, is someone like him going to get well in-private when his whereabouts are being Tweeted? My point is that maybe someone with multiple addictions would, therefore, slip into drinking again and rationalize it as being not so bad as drugs.
And perhaps he’s also tried other treatments or therapies in the past, but with increasing stress and deeper issues, he may be really sick now and in need of more serious help. Sad to say. 🙁
He would never go to rehab for a year. He wouldn’t even stay for a month last time. I remember some weirdos on this board were trying to say that the evidence they collected (lol) proved that he stayed that long but that was back when they still thought that he was reconciling with Jen. They used to defend him, claim that every drink was non-alcoholic. Now they admit that he was barely in rehab last winter long enough to dry out and every drink within 50 feet of him is liquor. It’s hilarious.
I think it was the Ben stans that were defending the one month period. See yesterday’s blog for more of the “he isn’t drinking” defense.
Nope, ELL there is no place in that part of Nova Scotia that has that kind of facility to my knowledge (I am Nova Scotian). Although he was rumored to be visiting a Monk retreat there but that is more spiritual and as far as I know it was a one day visit. I thought at the time he must be scouting out/research for some upcoming movie. I THINK IMO he actually came to Nova Scotia to visit Alan Arkin who has a place here in Cape Breton and spends alot of time at it. Alan starred in Ben’s movie The Town. I think Alan probably told Ben about NS and how it was so laid back and easy to escape within and Ben thought he could get away here with the mistress and not be detected. Didn’t work.
Alcoholics aren’t pretty and this is very sad.
Second that.
I don’t like Lindsay Shookus. I think she’s a bigger doormat than Jen ever was, and that she’s content to let Ben do whatever he wants because she doesn’t want to be a “nag” or whatever. But something tells me that she’s probably less invested in this relationship than most people might think. It’s probably why she’s content to let Ben self-destruct in whatever way he sees fit. She’s not young, like JLo or Goopy, who probably weren’t at a point in their life when they saw this as a problem that their relationship couldn’t fix, and she’s not Jennifer Garner, who has children with him who need a functioning dad. Lindsay Shookus doesn’t have much of a vested interest in this relationship working out over the long term (she has her own career as a producer, she co-parents with her ex, she has her child etc), so it’s not surprising to me that she doesn’t really care what he does.
Personally, I don’t think Lindsay Shookus is an alcoholic. I think the over-drinking is all on Ben alone. She drinks, probably, but not like he does. By all accounts, she really doesn’t need to play the fame game (being papped, giving interviews etc) for her career. So I can see her appeal on Ben’s part. There’s no pressure. He doesn’t have to go through the effort of putting up a “united front” or whatever. He can be as hands off or as hands on as he likes, and she doesn’t care one way or another. He probably likes that. That’s what every man wants in a mistress right? Someone’s who’s there, dependable, does the things his wife won’t, and doesn’t have any expectations.
Seems to me like Ben is Lindsay’s doormat, not the other way around. He’s the one flying here there and everywhere to be with her. He follows her around. He ditches his kids to be with her. Just sayin.
@Anna, personally, I think the fact that this is a relationship with every little pressure and expectation is why he’s willing to do that. He doesn’t mind the flying around and following her around. It means that he doesn’t have to do anything, just hang on to her coattails for a change. That’s not necessarily being a door mat–that’s just being lazy af. Being with your children and attending to your other responsibilities–that’s work. This isn’t.
This makes some sense, except for when one of them cannot be there or is not dependable – ie, either one starts to have expectations for their own needs or requirements of real relationship.
lol Jen put up with cheating, gambling, boozing, drug addictions, rehab, disinterest in the kids, public humiliations to the nth degree and it took her 12.5 years to file for divorce. Even after he had a serious mistress, screwed the nanny and dragged the family through the mud, she was still publicly stating that he was the best man in every room and allowed him to live on the property. No one is going to top that next-level doormat, not in this lifetime.
Has she even been screwed yet or is still saving herself for Ben? I think we all know the answer to that.
Wow! There is nothing to say except I hope you took time to breathe while typing this.
I don’t know @G. I think that refusing to set someone on the straight and narrow all because you desperately want to come off as the perpetual “cool girl” aesthetic who lets her man do whatever the heck he wants, even when it’s something that could potentially kill him, all so that you don’t come off as some kind of nagging stereotypical girlfriend so that he’ll like you more and won’t ditch you the first chance he gets seems a lot more desperate to me that doing whatever you can to preserve a marriage with someone who’s the father to your children.
Personally, I think that the people in Ben’s life, whoever they are, should have his best interests at heart. She’s more interested in being the cool, disaffected, intelligent, “independent” career woman girlfriend who don’t need no man. Even if it means turning a blind eye or not talking about the fact that he’s going down a dangerous road. To me, she comes off as more interested in preserving that just so that he’ll continue to like her more, at the expense of doing what’s right. So you tell me who’s the door mat. 🙂
@A
Wow, I hope you took time to breathe while typing that.
The Doormat of the Century will always be Jen until some other idiot wastes more than a decade of her life trying to fix him, only to watch him leave her for his mistress anyway. A few months partying with a movie star is nothing. And you seem to not really understand what a doormat even is but I digress.
If she’s not invested in the relationship and Ben, she’s really going to end up regretting all this. Because what will inevitably happen is he’ll decide he’s sick of being a joke or a tabloid fixture and he’s going to clean himself up and lose her and she’ll end up taking the blame for his rock bottom. Obviously only he is responsible for his behavior. But he will end up staging another comeback like he tends to do, and her reputation will be the collateral damage.
@G, when you are married to, and love, an addict, you understand that their behavior arises out of the addiction and the underlying problems. So, you see both the sorrow of the addict in their lucid moments, and the ugliness in their not-lucid moments. Because of those hills and valleys, you stay the course with them so long as they present some evidence they are desirous of change. Ben talked in interviews about his strong desire to not be like his dad. I am pretty confident there were many conversations where he and Jen discussed this and he and she managed to work through on that common goal. Since his spiraling really only seemed to start after Gone Girl filming (I think he did get wasted each night as he “joked”), and escalated during BvS filming in summer 2014, that’s when the total breakdown between them seemed to occur. She was originally planning to move to Detroit that summer, but things changed (I think his gambling incident in Vegas was that spring), that she changed her mind and didn’t go to Detroit after all. The gambling and women stories were all over the place while he was in Detroit that summer. Also, they had their anniversary during that time and I read that Jen flew there for one night, they had dinner in a public place, and then she left, so clearly there were some serious problems at that time.
They said they had been separated for 10 months prior to their announcement end of July 2015, putting that in the fall of 2014, when he returned to LA from Detroit.
So, she wasn’t a doormat for 12 years. She and he worked on their issues together until the addictions seemed to take him over in early 2014 and serious cracks and breakdown seems to have followed.
Again, when you know the person who is underneath the addictions, you want to help and support them, until you can’t any more.
@G see my reference to the “… ugliness in their non-lucid moments. Because of those hills and valleys, you stay the course with them so long as they present some evidence they are desirous of change.”
Addiction to one thing is often addiction to many.
Also, I think Ben has underlying character issues (i.e. infidelity in every relationship), so I am not defending his behavior. I am appalled at the lack of respect that shows toward women in general. This may sound trite, but I think he learned that attitude from his Dad as well – kids learn from those examples in the home.
I’m just giving you the perspective of someone who lived with an addict for almost 10 years going through the peaks and valleys. I felt like I had to know that I had done everything I could to support his desire for sobriety, even if it was only a flash every now and then. When he stopped trying, I left with a clear conscious.
Once i reached the point where I was done, I never once considered changing my mind. Jen’s face since late last year has had that look. And now, after the (what I perceive as anyway) personal attacks on her by Ben being so over-the-top with LS, she would have nothing to do with him ever if it were not for the kids. He is her personal past.
As to her not dating, I think she has been, just very discretely. Quotes attributed to her used to include a line about not being ready to date. That was also one of the points in the People article She shot down. I don’t believe I’ve seen that in articles since.
Also, she posted the video recently of her post dental visit. In it she appears to be facetiming someone sharing the story of the song. The person on the phone was male. Who would you facetime in that condition after a dental visit? A girlfriend sure, but it was a male. Jen has no brothers.
G – its called blind love AND Hope! I don’t think you will ever hear Jen G say she regrets Ben Affleck or the 10 years because to do so would mean she regrets the 3 best things in her life that she cherish – Violet, Sera and Sam. Regardless of whether Sam, or any of them for that matter, were intended to hook Ben or save the marriage, I highly doubt she regrets having any one of them! And would relive the 10 years again in a heartbeat to have them again! I don’t think she would take him back now, up until late Spring, I think she would have, but not now. Once she FINALLY decided enough is enough there was no turning back and thus the filing for the divorce.
I think she stayed with him because 1) She loved him (alot) and hoped he would come to his senses and 2) The biggest reason – because she did not want to share custody of the kids – with joint custody he would have the kids 50% of the time and she would be helpless wondering his condition that 50% of the time they were with him. I think she wanted/wants him to have access to the kids, but she wants to be around to monitor that for potential times he is not fit to have them and she could/can shield them from that, if there’s a FORMAL legal agreement in place – she must comply with it. I think the hold up in the divorce granting is over custody – I don’t think she wants him out of the kids lives BUT she wants measures in place that she can veto him taking them if she deems he is unfit or perhaps for extended periods of time. I think she wants stipulations in the agreement that have to be ironed out back and forth. JUST IMO!
And for the record, I think she loved him even when she filed and for months after, but I think she finally reached her breaking point, and knew she HAD to end it and then MAKE herself get over him. Hell, she might still love him, but now that she has set the wheels in motion, I don’t think she will back track. I think Ben’s new relationship is hurtful to her, it would be no matter whom it was, but doubly because its his on/off mistress of many years. But I think she will ALWAYS take the high road and hide it from the kids and the public. Again IMHO!
Ben’s new relationship shows exactly how much he truly cares about Garner’s feelings and whether or not she’ll be humiliated in the press. He could date anyone. Toss a quarter on a street in LA and he could find someone to put up with him and drink with him. But he picks the one woman who he had an affair with years ago. It’s unbelievable. Just goes to show how full of it he was when he was making all of those grand statements about her over the last year or two. He does not give a damn, that much is crystal clear. It’s so hugely disrespectful. I don’t know how she can stand to be in the same room with him. You don’t have to abandon all your dignity just to put on a charade for the kids. She certainly makes a lot of concessions for someone who has treated her so terribly for years and years.
Lola – sometimes people do the wrong things but for all the right reasons 🙂
If he ever gets sober I think he will look back on what he did here with great regret. We only see what she lets us see. She no doubt has stronger reaction in private with friends.
Pictures last forever though.
@Scottagirl
Well said on both your posts!
How could anyone regret their marriage when it produced their children?!
If we are body shaming him…so what? He is a MOVIE STAR playing an action hero. He needs to be in tip top shape. We as normal people are expected to maintain our health as well and we don’t even get paid millions of dollars to do it. I let myself go last year, but now that I’m getting back into shape, I am logging in the amount I eat each day, only drinking alcohol socially (maybe several times each month), and working out with a trainer. I do this as someone who makes a middle class income. If Affleck wanted all these things, he could probably have the studio provide this to him for free. He thinks he can get away with it and cram in his gym time a few months before shooting. He’s not 25 anymore, it will be harder to get rid of the flab in just a few weeks. He’s only leading himself to an early grave with the yo yo dieting and relapsing into alcohol and who knows what else. They deserve each other. Two philanderers and alcoholics.
I think the constant flying back and forth and switching time zones is not healthy either. I know people do it, but he clearly looks exhausted. As you said, he isn’t 25 anymore.
Yep, I’ve known professionals (not in the entertainment biz) who did this for their demanding careers – and it not only took its toll on their health, but also their marriages.
All of those years when he was married to Jennifer she got dragged, he didn’t really love her, she trapped him in marriage, blah blah blah….it seems his family was the only thing keeping him together. She was good for him, his family was good for him, doesn’t matter if they were crazy in love or not. Wouldn’t be surprised is he is crashing barely because of that loss. He is giving me Philip Seymour Hoffman vibes. he needs serious help.
I think it was a series of things: the affair with Shookus being discovered, the secret separation, hide-a-slavegate, the public separation, nannygate, embarrassing tv appearances, then his vanity film flopping both critically and commercially. Then BvS was a bad movie. He probably feels like his life crashed down around him. I am not really surprised that he started drinking. Anyway, I think that this version of Ben is the real version sans the Garner PR shield. He doesn’t need a wife and family, he needs a handler. His next wife will be another mothering type like Garner who basically wipes his butt for him. He can’t take care of himself.
When Jen meets someone else(and she will)
Ben will not be able to run back to her & the children for his PR family image but he will have Lindsay (maybe) for a professional PR image! Maybe by then, it will even be someone else! I don’t think he can be alone!
I think if he is ever alone, he is not going to be in a good state!
I noticed the last two projects announced for Ben were both with Casey. The one Ben pulled out of, and the new war movie.
With no apologies to Taylor Swift.
Shook it off.
This isn’t exactly news. His bloated red face shows the evidence of his drinking. He has looked terrible for the past few months. Frankly I think this is why he’s with this chick. She lets him get away with and indulge his behavior and Jennifer wouldn’t. Or at the very least nagged him about it all the time.
Why is it that these two always look permanently stoned. 🙁
there’s a blind on the blindgossip.com about him posted Sept 20. Says he has been seen 4 times this week alone drinking or drunk and was caught buying 4 bottles of hard liquor the night he was photographed coming out of the store. It says it was the middle of the night, so maybe he thought he could pull it off undected in the middle of the night lol.
Lindsay should rethink wearing a halter neckline. Makes her look like a linebacker.